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I am drawn to initial jewelry and monograms. Maybe it stems from the validated feeling I got as a kid when I found my name in the selection of personalized key chains they sold at gift shops, but I love having things customized. I knew I wanted a piece of jewelry with my son’s initial that I could wear every day. I like this necklace because of the sideways initial and the fact that you can get it in 14 inches. That length makes it easy to wear every day and layer it with longer necklaces, as well. (It’s also available in lengths 16″-22″.) I’m not crazy about the color of my son’s birthstone, but this seller also has listings for the initial without the birthstone. The necklace comes in yellow gold, rose gold, and white gold and is $129.90 at Etsy from deiajewelry. 14k Gold Sideways Initial Necklace This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
ElisaR says
Kat- Nordstrom Anniversary Sale catalog arrived. Talk to me!
EB0220 says
This is pretty! I don’t love my kids’ birthstones so I’ve been looking at initial jewelry, but haven’t bought anything yet.
lsw says
I love the idea but my son’s initial is I and I feel like that is weird for an initial necklace?
Anonymous says
Yes, my son is O – I feel the same.
DC ideas? says
We will be in the DC area for a few days next week and want to take our almost 8 year boy to see some sights. Staying in McLean. Thinking about American history museum, Arlington, walking along the Mall and maybe Air and Space. Suggestions for places to grab lunch or things not to miss? We know that it will be crowded and hot.
anon. says
I went to DC for the first time around that age and it was kind of a landmark trip in my life. just want to say YAY to you for doing this. I’d just say this – For SURE Air & Space, for SURE Natural History. I’ll let others weigh in on restaurants.
Spirograph says
Agree that Natural History and Air and Space are the most kid friendly museums. You really can’t go wrong doing a big swing around the monuments, the WWII and MLK are my favorites, but all are pretty great. I can’t emphasize enough how much more you’ll enjoy things if you get out asap in the morning. Before noon, the crowds are significantly lighter and weather obviously much more pleasant. I honestly wouldn’t go out of your way for lunch, just grab something that’s on your way when you get hungry. Food trucks are prevalent around the Mall, and a block or two in any direction are chain lunch spots that have the added bonus of AC. Not especially novel, healthy, or reasonably priced, but they keep you moving.
Knope says
What chain lunch spots are near the Mall outside of the stuff in Penn Quarter/Chinatown? Unless you are down by the Lincoln at the far end and walk to Foggy Bottom, I can’t think of any, particularly if you go south of the Mall.
rosie says
On this note, I would recommend Teaism in Penn Quarter for lunch (it’s a DC chain).
Mama Llama says
There’s the food court at L’enfant Plaza, which has a pretty extensive selection of chains.
rosie says
The cafeteria at the Museum of the American Indian is excellent for lunch. It is relatively close to Air & Space.
There is an annex to the Air & Space museum out by Dulles (requires a car, or I think there is a shuttle from the Mall) that is basically overflow and pretty cool (think a space shuttle in one wing).
Anonymous says
Ooh, I second the other air and space (Udvar Hazy), especially since you’ll be staying out that direction.
Knope says
If you are staying in McLean anyway, you might as well go to the Udvar-Hazy Center (the “overflow” Air and Space museum) – it’s not too far from there. For an 8 year old it might be even better than the Air & Space – less crowded and somewhat more interactive.
I would also recommend not trying to pack too much into each day – it’s really tiring walking around, and things are pretty spread out on the mall. If you have two days, do Udvar-Hazy and maybe Arlington Cemetary one day, then the Mall the next. On the mall, I recommend going to the American History Museum first, then heading to Penn Quarter for lunch. I recommend Taylor Gourmet or Teaism for a quick bite. If you want a sit-down restaurant, try Oyamel. After that, you can hit up the National Archives (if your kid doesn’t want to stand in line to see the original Constitution or Declaration of Independence, there are great exhibits for kids on the second floor). If you are still up for walking around after that, the Portrait Gallery is pretty cool and not as big/intimidating as the Art Museum.
Stay FAR away from tourist traps like the Spy Museum!
rosie says
Ha I just replied to your other comment to suggest Teaism. Agree that the Portrait Gallery is nice and feels manageable. It’s very close to Zaytinya as another sit-down option (delicious Mediterranean small plates).
Anonymous says
+1 for Arlington Cemetery and you can tour the Lee house at the top (although they have a completely delusional view of Lee & Slavery i.e. “slaves were treated like family”). It IS cemetery and it is a somber place, but it is also extraordinarily beautiful and there’s a great view of DC from the Lee House.
Anon says
My favorite (from that age and older) is the Bureau of Engraving and Printing. You need reservations or tickets in advance (but they are free, or at least used to be). I always thought it was cool to see the money made. I wouldn’t bother with the paid museums if this is your first trip, but the National Geographic Museum, the Newseum and the Spy Museum have pretty good reviews from my (local) friends who have gone. Also if it’s super hot and you’re looking to cool off, some of the Fairfax County rec centers have indoor water parks and pools, and a non-resident day pass is something like $15 for the day. Not touristy, not historical, but it will tire your kid out and keep him cool.
Anonymous says
Yes, Bureau of Engraving and Printing! That was a fun one recommended by a dear uncle when I went many years ago, and it was so cool. I also did the spy museum. I thought it was cheesy, but my husband was all over it. I wished I had spent more time at the Botanical Gardens, but that probably isn’t an 8 yo’s thing.
OP says
These are all good suggestions. This won’t be our only DC trip (and isn’t a first trip for the adults) so I’m not even going to try and cram everything in.
We are staying with friends so pool access is already taken care of.
avocado says
My kid really enjoyed the Udvar-Hazy Center, the National Archives, the Portrait Gallery (especially the Obama portraits–they are really striking in person), the National Zoo, and the Spy Museum. I thought the Spy Museum was lame and overpriced, but she had a great time. At the various Smithsonian museums, we’ve found the signage lacking in information and the quality of the tours variable depending on the docent. The Udvar-Hazy Center tour was informative and engaging but very long.
avocado says
Is my kid the only one who finds the Natural History museum terrifying?
Necklace Recommendation says
I have a necklace like this with both my kids initials that I LOVE! Purchased from a Houston-based company that I can definitely recommend. Link to follow but they are called LeMel.
Necklace Recommendation says
https://shoplemel.com/
Juice? says
Silly question today. We have a two and three year old and previously were a water and milk at home, juice if you are at the park or a birthday party or something special family. Honestly the primary reason was I hated sticky sippy cups, but it ended up turning my kids into good water drinkers.
Recently it’s been hot out and juice has crept into the house and now my 3 year old is always demanding it. I’m thinking of cutting it out again. My DH thinks juice isn’t bad and I’m being weirdly strict here.
Do any of you have rules around juice? Is this a silly one? We allow TV and all sorts of other things, juice just seems like a bad habit to me compared to water!
Anonymous says
We also juice but only when super diluted. We even dilute the honest company or other low sugar juices (which are already half water). Mostly because the kids don’t need more sugar and I hate sticky stuff. They’re just as happy with milk.
mascot says
What about using juice as a flavoring for water? Or, try infused waters where you cut up fruit and stick it in a pitcher of water in the fridge. I also tend to buy those roaring waters or some other juice drink that’s watered down some in an effort to cut down on sugar.
CPA Lady says
So, this is a timely question for me, because I stopped drinking a few weeks ago and have bought several types of juice to mix with sparkling water for me to drink. So my kid sees me drinking it and wants it too.
The compromise I have come up with is to tell her that she can either have (watered down) juice OR dessert after dinner. She typically gets some small kind of sweet after dinner– a popsicle, a couple small peppermint patties, etc. I don’t feel bad substituting juice for that since it’s probably about the same amount of sugar.
anon. says
My kid thinks Le Croix is “juice” and is happy when we put a little flavored water in his water.
GCA says
I don’t think juice is the devil and we don’t really have hard and fast rules around it, but I don’t drink it every day and neither does kiddo. Most of the time we get a pint or quart of OJ on the weekly grocery run and when that runs out, that’s it for the week. Interestingly, he likes seltzer with a dash of juice, drunk through (and this is the key!) a ‘special’ metal straw – I think he likes the process and the paraphernalia better than the juice itself.
EB0220 says
When my kids get like this about anything (usually juice, ice cream or TV), we scale back for a while. For juice, we stick with basically only giving it at the pool or birthday parties. Also on a trip if we drive through somewhere for food, because I’d rather have juice spilled in the car than milk (yuck). We try to keep it to once a day because it is basically empty calories.
Anonymous says
We get the capri sun water pouches. Sort of flavored, sort of like juice, but not juice.
I don’t hate juice, but anything sticky has to stay in the kitchen or at the park; water is the only thing OK in Mommy’s car or the TV room.
blueridge29 says
This is EXACTLY what I do with my 3 and 4 1/2 year old. The pouches are seen as a treat and are limited to the pool or park. It is also reserves juice as a nice distraction when we are eating out and bribing them to behave.
lawsuited says
We don’t give our kid juice, not because we think juice is bad but rather because there’s no need for him to drink it. He has milk in the morning and evening, but otherwise drinks water if he’s thirsty. Of course, he eats ice cream or a cookie once in a while as a “treat” but I’m not sure juice rises to the level of a “treat” so I see it as sugar for no reason.
Em says
Same. We don’t drink it ourselves, so we don’t buy it. My son gets watered down lemonade if he goes to my mom’s house (once a week or so), and I don’t stress about that, but since it isn’t in our house it isn’t even a discussion. He can have milk if we are at home, and water anywhere else. We are pretty liberal with desserts since I have a sweet tooth, and I feel like he would rather have ice cream than juice anyway.
ElisaR says
i’m with you – Juice provides no nutritional value…. we are strictly water and milk.
Anonymous says
We rarely do juice. I hardly ever have it in the house. With a few exceptions, I tend to think it is gross so it isn’t hard. Kiddo gets it for special occasion snacks/treats at school and every couple months (at most) when we travel and eat lunch at Subway and get an Honest juice box. I push water at home. She drinks milk with meals at school and sometimes requests it at home, and I comply. I just don’t like to drink my calories (except cream or milk in my coffee) and think water drinking is a good habit to pass on to my child.
Anonymous says
My husband likes OJ with breakfast, so we generally serve it only at breakfast. We don’t keep other juice in the house. (Actually he often mixes OJ with pineapple juice). My son gets many, many other sweets though, so we’re not saints of sugar avoidance by any means.
Anon in NYC says
We didn’t do juice at all, until we started needing to get my kid to ingest Miralax. I don’t love it, but it’s maybe about 4 oz of juice a few times a week. My husband doesn’t see the need to dilute it, so we don’t, because I don’t want to be inconsistent and the objective is for her to get the Miralax.
Anonymous says
It could even be helping the Miralax be more effective. We are usually no-juicers, but when kiddo was constipated we pushed it and based some smoothies with juice per doctor’s orders.
Everlong says
Generally, I’m anti-juice but it helps my almost 3 year old to drink more. We dilute heavily. While I’d prefer only water or milk, he doesn’t really drink milk and sometimes is just not into water. I respect that, I lose interest in water, too. He gets OJ, apple juice, or even iced green tea, Hawaiian Punch *cringe*, just heavily diluted. I’m comfortable with it as a compromise, particularly on hot days.
Anonymous says
We typically only have juice at parties or at a restaurant or the pool. We also use apple juice mixed with some Culturelle “gentle go” to prevent/relieve constipation, but we only need that when Kiddo has to take an antibiotic. If we have some apple juice leftover from something, we might give it to Kiddo instead of a treat, especially when it’s really hot outside.
Anonymous says
I am anti-juice and don’t have it in the house. Our 2 1/2 year old LOVES La Croix, and that’s worked so far. It’ll be tougher when he gets older and sees other kids drinking it, I’m sure.
avocado says
I actually tried to get my kid to drink Honest Kids pouches or even full-strength juice at one point just to get her to drink SOMETHING. It didn’t work. She didn’t get juice at day care, and she never really developed a taste for it.
The adults in our house now mostly avoid juice because it seems to be pretty much the same thing as refined sugar. Also, our fridge is perpetually crammed and I can’t deal with another sticky bottle in there.
Anonymous says
My kid doesn’t like juice either. She makes a sour face every time I try to give her watered down juice or pedialyte.
Anonymous says
I’m with those who do not even keep it in the house or purchase it. We allow it in restaurants or birthday parties/school events. Frankly, I’m pretty lenient about a lot of other treats, so it’s not like I’m anti-sugar, but juice just seems like an easy one to avoid. We allow Gatorade (thanks to the practice of other parents bringing it to soccer games) if one has done something active or “been sweaty.” So if my oldest is hot after playing outside, I make her prove to me she was active enough to “get sweaty” and then she can have a cup of gatorade.
Frozen Peach says
We are generally pretty relaxed about most things parents get upset about, and juice is no exception.
My husband and I both drink juice for wellness reasons, so at any given time there is vitamin water or vitamin water zero, some kind of superfood juice, and possibly a low-cal (or sometimes not!) white cranberry or grape juice in the fridge. Our kid juice rules are different: 1) nothing comes in our house with high-fructose corn syrup so help me; 2) always, always dilute.
We also struggled with constipation, so juice is something we’ve needed as a tool to keep things moving right along.
And hey, I’m feeling a little punchy, so I’ll do it– I confess. I also give my DD diet sprite occasionally, LaCroix more frequently. I would MUCH rather my kid develop a taste for artificial sweeteners than corn syrup.
anon says
Same here. We dilute (50/50). We do juice at dinner (plus parties, going out, etc. – once a day, never more than twice). We are pretty lax about it. We also sometimes give the kids diet root beer or diet orange soda. (To me, LaCroix counts as water.) I will say that I was stricter when the kids were younger, and frankly, have just lost interest in policing this (and most things) to any large degree. I’m going for overall balance and not strict rules, frankly.
In House Lobbyist says
We do juice at parties and at grandparents house. But my kids mostly drink water. In fact, my 8 year old won’t drink a juice box if you offer it to him. Mostly because it something they don’t need – they drink water, milk or we make sparkling water at home. We do take Gatorade to the park in the summer time but don’t buy it often. Our peds and dentist both stress that kids don’t need it and it just adds to other problems. I also have a pepsi addiction that came from having free access from a child – child of the 80s that ate poptarts, drank capri suns and soda and had all the fruit roll ups I could eat – so I try to stick with water and save other things for special occasions.
Anonymous says
We do grape juice for Shabbat and holidays for blessings where adults have wine, and occasionally if we are out at a restaurant that does not have milk. We also used oj as a potty training aid to get the kid to load up on fluids for the first day or two. Any more than that and he starts whining for it. His grandparents give him oj at breakfast because they drink it, and it drives me nuts because then he wants it every time he’s there. He refused to drink water until close to 24 mo, so got in the habit of adding water to his milk to keep him hydrated. We also do a lot of Red Zinger or Raspberry Zinger iced tea, which he loves.
IO says
I’m of the “juice is nutritional garbage” persuasion and my husband thinks it’s absolutely fine. (I also don’t drink soda or coffee and think once a week desserts are the right amount. He thinks water is “boring” and drinks something with every meal and believes dessert should be once a day AT LEAST. One of us is overweight.)
My toddler knows that she can get juice from dad when they go to the zoo or children’s museum. I even tell her that “Juice is a daddy treat!” She knows that and she and my husband plot about when they will get juice together. It’s a cute special thing for the two of them and it keeps juice drinking down to none to once a week.
The problem as I see it isn’t the pro/anti juice, but the demanding. Make it clear to your kid what the rules are and then just stick with them.
Necklace says
I have 3 kids- for a necklace like this, would it work best as 3 separate necklaces, or one with all 3 initials? Or…not at all?
lawsuited says
Pre-kids I was all about the layering necklaces and I think 3 of these layered would look lovely, but these days I think I’d choose one necklace with all 3 initials.
ElisaR says
Maya Brenner does a very similar necklace with 3 letters. I have it with 2 and love it. I considered doing 2 necklaces because I already had one from my first son but decided I like the simplicity of having it all on one chain. I wear the necklace every day and never take it off….. not sure I would do that with a layered approach.
LatchedMama says
Anyone purchased from LatchedMama? I like some of the designs but often feel like the clothes look like they’re cut a bit looser/less structured but wonder if that’s just because I’m conditioned to seeing models wearing clothes versus the regular people they use on the website.
ElisaR says
I haven’t but I’m definitely on their targeted email list! The stuff looks cute but I really only b-fed for 6 months so never got around to buying from them.
AwayEmily says
I’ve gotten two different hoodies (the lightweight and the heavyweight one) and really like them — they are the only nursing hoodies I’ve tried on that are not weird-looking when I put them on. They seem to have pretty explicit sizing descriptions (I remember one of them ran small and one ran true to size but I can’t remember which was which) so I’d just look at those and at the reviews, which are also very helpful.
FVNC says
Last summer I lived in two of the sleeveless drawstring nursing dresses. Certainly not the best quality (thin material and a little shapeless) but I really liked them for summer-time nursing and, other than a little snag in one of the dresses, they still looked great after many, many washings.
SG says
Yes. Love them. They have a few options on fit so you can find something tighter if you’d like. I was all about loose last summer and lived in their tops. I follow them on insta – they are a small biz with moms who bring kiddos to work. They were super helpful when I needed an exchange. I feel good supporting them.
EB says
Going to a baby shower where we’re all supposed to bring a book with a sweet note instead of a card. Any recommendations for a special book? I was going to do Dear Zoo because it’s my son’s favorite, but wondering if there is something out there a little more special??
Ella says
Dear zoo is awesome. Don’t overthink it.
Anon says
As the beneficiary of one of these showers, bring a book that is important to you. I loved hearing about how it was a parent’s favorite as a kid or their kid’s favorite. Made it more personal, and as I read them to our LO, I can say “this is your cousin X’s favorite book” or something like that.
lawsuited says
+1 Everyone bringing their favourite book prevents you getting 5 copies of Love You Forever or whatever book people feel is THE book for new parents/new babies.
SG says
++1 I love to hear what others read to their kiddos and what’s special to them. I’ve sent a bunch of Dragons Love Tacos out into the world myself :)
AwayEmily says
And then nice thing about Dear Zoo is that even if the kid ends up with five copies, that will still be great because they will inevitably rip off all the flaps, so that way there will be backups. Or maybe that is just my kid?
Anon in NYC says
That’s sweet! Munch was a big hit in our house for a while too.
Anonymous says
I have read Where’s Spot to my kid about 700 x in his first year, including 6 times in a row on an airplane. The super simple pictures + flap combos are a winning combo great. (see also Eric Carle). At 11 months he is still can’t really focus on books with complex pictures as well as nice simple ones.
BUT I also loved getting books for older kids (they have more longevity that board books). Can’t wait to have real story time.
Anonymous says
You are my I Love You makes me tear up. The going to bed book by sandra boynton. But my daughter still loves Dear Zoo and shes 15 months. I also love books by Emily Winfield Martin because they’re beautifully illustrated. If she’s a girl you could do Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls (if you think it would fit the mom).
Anonymous says
also, people did this for my shower and it was awesome! We started with such a great “library”
Patty Mayonnaise says
+1 to Emily Winfield Martin – highly recommend “The Wonderful Things You Will Be”
Rainbow Hair says
Someone on this site recommended “Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You” and it’s a lovely sweet book. I’m also partial to “If Animals Kissed Goodnight” because it gives me lots of opportunities to kiss my kiddo.
Anonymous says
ughhh wherever you are hits me in the feels!
Frozen Peach says
My “special” go-to book for baby showers is my DD’s special nighttime book: “It’s time to sleep, my love.”
The illustrations are gorgeous, and I swear that book has magical powers. I can also reliably put my husband to sleep by reading it.
Anonymous says
My kid loved Dear Zoo. It’s a great pick.
Another travel question says
Gate-checking a stroller, does it need a cover? I’m torn between not wanting the fabric to get beat up vs. the ease of just collapsing it at the end of the jetway and not having to wrangle it into its bag.
lala says
They don’t require that you have one, but you do run the risk of it getting dirty. So I think you have to weigh hassle vs dirty stroller. I go with dirty stroller every time, but I think it is a personal preference. We’ve had some grime end up on our stroller, but it washed off pretty easily.
Pogo says
I bought the red “gate check” bag at Buy Buy Baby and reinforced seams w/ duct tape because The Internet said that was the way to go. It has worked for me as means of not messing up the fabric. I think it depends on how nice the stroller is/how much you care.
If you are travelling solo, it is much more of a PITA anyway bc regardless of getting it in or out of a bag, you have to stand at the end of the jetbridge with kiddo waiting for it. If you are travelling solo I’d bring an umbrella stroller that fits in the overhead and not check anything. But travelling w/ spouse, one spouse deals with kiddo and one deals with the stroller/carseat/wrangling aspect so it’s not an issue imo.
rosie says
Gotta love the ground crew folks who will take your stroller out of its bag & unfold it (or just unfold it if no bag) for you.
Anon says
+1. This happens for me all the time.
GGFM says
Our red gate check bag got ripped after only a few uses and I had never thought about reinforcing with duct tape! Anyhow, we ended up gate checking our umbrella stroller without any bag from then on and 2.5 years on it hasn’t come back to us dirty or broken. It’s a cheapish Summer Infant stroller though. If we were checking an Uppababy we’d probably spring for the bag for the reasons the poster below outlines.
Mama Llama says
We use a bag, and the bag has gotten filthy and torn flying several times a year for the past 3 years. This suggests to me that the bag is a good idea. It is a pain though. We usually bag up the stroller when we get to the gate and then put the gate check tag on the bag. The upside is that we aren’t messing with it on the jetway. The downside is that we don’t have the benefit of the stroller to get the kiddo down the jetway.
Anon says
Yes. We do this and I put the baby in my Lillebaby carrier to get down the jetway so I still have my hands free.
Anonymous says
I bought a little higher quality gate check bag on amazon (it’s orange with white stripes). Yes on you taking kid out of jetbridge/doing a diaper change and spouse dealing with stroller/carseat.
Anon in NYC says
We’ve always used one, for dirt/maintenance reasons. It’s actually not much of a hassle (some hassle – practice before you get to the airport just so you know how to fold your stroller in), and I like that there’s a reduced chance that the stroller will be wrecked upon arrival.
FP says
If you have an Uppababy stroller, I highly recommend their travel bags. They are pricey but if you register them online, Uppababy will replace your stroller if it’s damaged by the airline. This happened on my very first trip with baby on my very expensive Vista, and the customer service couldn’t have been better. They shipped me a brand new stroller frame within days.
Anonymous says
late, but how about a contractor garbage bag?
Anon says
Talk to me about BF-ing/pumping after the 6-month mark. My LO is 6.5 months old and has been EBF thus far (I can’t believe we’ve stuck with it this long, but here we are!). How did the frequency of feedings change as you introduced solid foods? Did you find that you were able to pump less often at work as your baby got older? When and how did you ultimately decide to wean? I feel pretty clueless about BFing from here on out, simply because I always assumed we’d switch to formula at some point.
Knope says
We didn’t change the frequency of feedings until around the 9 month mark, at which point we dropped 1 feeding (after I came home from work) and just had LO eat dinner. From months 6-9 most babies aren’t eating enough solids to really make a difference in breastfeeding frequency, though I know some women who said their supply dropped a bit when they introduced solids. 6 months though was the time when I decided I had enough of adding in extra pumps after LO went to bed or before he woke up to keep up with his demands, and started supplementing with formula. I knew I wanted to wean at 12 months, so around 8 months I started dropping pumps at work, stopped pumping completely at 11 months, and we weaned completely at 12 months.
EB0220 says
For some reason, I found months 6-9 the hardest. I think my kid’s appetites were growing but they weren’t getting many calories from solids yet. I actually had to add a pumping session at night (+3 at work) until around 9 months, and then I ramped back down to just 2 pumping sessions a day.
Anon says
At 8 months I was down to pumping 2x at work (instead of 3x) and my LO was taking 1 8-oz BM bottle and two meals of solids a day. At 9 months we switched to 3x meals a day and no daytime milk (just water), still nursing night and morning. I pumped for another 2 weeks (1-2x a day) to make sure she was okay with it and then stopped pumping during the day completely (which is Ahhhmazing). We are at almost 11 months now and will likely introduce cow’s milk at 11 months (mixed with BM) and slowly start weaning by substituting an increasingly cow’s milk bottle for nursing sessions (Okayed by pediatrician) – my goal is to be weaned by 12 months so that I can go back to eating all the things I haven’t been able to eat because she reacts to them before we try getting pregnant again in 5 months and I’m back to watching what I am eating again (or puking up everything I am eating again, sigh).
anon says
The frequency of bfing and pumping did not change at all for me until I started to wean at 12 months. I just kept my routine the same. Yes it was a pain. But my goal was to bf and that’s what I had to do for it to work for us.
lsw says
Nice work! Pumping is the worst. I dropped to two pumps around 7 months, dropped to one around 9 months, and stopped completely at 11 months, and then rode out my freezer stash and introduced cow’s milk just before one year old after talking to the ped and agreeing that introducing formula for, like, ten days was silly. I was so, so over pumping and dropping those pumps was necessary to my sanity.
My son weaned himself around 14 months. I was a bit sad/surprised but was ultimately fine with it. He was just not that interested in nursing anymore. We were doing once in the morning and once at night for a while, then just at night, then stopped.
Talk to me about IVF says
H has low $perm count and I have low egg count for my age (33). Dr is recommending IVF. I don’t know anyone who has used ART to get pregnant, so I have no one to talk to about this. Is the process difficult? Were you successful on the first try? I know IVF stats are available, but we don’t have the budget to try it more than once. Feeling depressed, could use some encouragement. Btw I am not a mom, never been pregnant.
anon says
hi, i posted on the corporette thread in response to your original post. Happy to discuss offline if you want to post a burner email address (long story short, I am 17 weeks pregnant with IVF + PGS on our first try, and I am quite a bit older than you).
ElisaR says
I have 5 close friends who have done IVF. All of them had it work on the first try. They all tried IUI before IVF and it didn’t work for any of them. I have no personal experience, but these 5 girls would all recommend the process hands down.
The process was difficult (emotionally and timing since a few of them travel for work) but totally worth it in the end.
Anonymous says
Unexplained infertility here. We tried IUIs first, but all 6 failed so moved into IVF. We only ended up with 3 5-day blastocysts, which was discouraging, but the first embryo we transferred produced our twin boys, so all in all it was a success.
It’s expensive, but not necessarily difficult. Lots of injections and monitoring appointments and things you have no control over the timing of, but if your first egg retrieval works that part is really all over within a month.
Anon says
If you go down that road, make sure you are emotionally okay with it not working. For me, not having a baby AND being out $15k was a pretty hard pill to swallow. Still trying to deal with it. Haven’t decided yet whether to give up, try again, or look into adoption. Physically, the process was easier than I expected. Emotionally, not so much.
Anon in NYC says
I’m so sorry. Hugs.
Anonymous says
I recently read this piece in InStyle and it talked about some of the highs and lows of IVF. It sounds like the author’s issues were different from yours (chromosomal concerns). https://www.instyle.com/news/ivf-pregnancy
Pogo says
IVF worked on the first try for us. I have PCOS and do not ovulate. Clomid, letrozole did not do anything for me. It was exhausting and difficult to go through, but it prepared me well for pregnancy – I think pregnancy was actually easier for me than IVF!
I’m a planner, and the toughest part for me was the unpredictability. Not knowing when I’d have to trigger, when retrieval would be, and then when transfer would be. It was a rocky year for us from seeing the RE to getting pregnant, but like I said, it did work. If I’d gone straight to IVF the process would probably have only been a couple months.
rosie says
Hugs. I did 6 IUIs (all with Clomid) that resulted in 2 miscarriages. Then we moved to IVF…it was very touch-and-go as I didn’t have a great response to the particular stims we tried and ended up with 3 mature follicles, 2 eggs retrieved, 1 egg mature/fertilized. We did a 3-day transfer of the 1 embryo and ended up with a wonderful baby. Looking back it just amazes me how truly fortunate we were to get that outcome.
I think it would be really hard to do IVF knowing that you could not have another shot. Having been in the spot where we had very serious doubts that we would be successful, it helped me to think of it as this was a learning experience–figuring out what meds I responded to, and helping us fine tune for the next cycle.
Some ideas I would suggest if you are serious about moving to IVF:
1. Get the opinion of a second RE
2. Do your research on clinic success rates. The lab quality/protocols/etc matter for IVF. This data is available online.
3. I’ve heard of some programs where you split risk/cost if you are willing to donate some of your eggs or where you pay for multiple cycles but get a guarantee of sorts. I don’t know if any of these would necessarily be recommended for you, but it is probably worth looking into.
4. Consider switching jobs if either you or your H can get insurance coverage for IVF through an employer. I know it sounds extreme, but something to consider.
The process is difficult, IMO. Lots of appointments for bloodwork and ultrasounds, scheduling uncertainty around the retrieval and transfer, injecting yourself a lot, hormone craziness, bloating. If you can find a therapist who specializes in IF, I would recommend talking through with her to help with decisionmaking and the emotional aspect of the process.
Nervous mom to be says
can someone give it to me straight on how long it takes a baby to nurse per nursing session? I get that this varies from baby to baby and they get quicker, but can anyone give me a general sense?
Anonymous says
For me it was 40 mins the first week. Lactation consultant said that was a little long and it should be about 20-30 mins. Then the majority was 10 mins for most of the first year after the first month, probably just 5 mins by 12 months.
EB0220 says
My girls were always around 30-40 min although they do get faster once they get the hang of it.
S says
I know this is unhelpful but it really depends on the baby. Anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes. My daughter needed at least 20 at all times.
ER says
It really changes as the baby gets older. My newborns nursed for 45 minutes plus during the first month or two. Then all of a sudden when I wasn’t paying attention, nursing sessions were 10 minutes! When did that happen? I have no idea. They get so much better at nursing as they get older.
Pogo says
+1, same. The first six weeks were all about cluster feeding, some sessions were 45 minutes, some were literally hours. But, he slept the rest of the time. Now at 10.5 mo he nurses 10min max.
Anonymous says
Ughh I felt like clusterfeeding was almost the death of me.
Anon says
I had a super fast nurser – I pretty much only nursed on one side per session, and as a newborn it was right around 10-15 minutes. As she got older, it was closer to 5-10 minutes unless she was just playing around. Now we’re closer to 10-15 minutes again at 11 months, but that’s because there is a lot of stopping and starting as she tries to do handstands, backbends and other acrobatics while nursing.
Anonymous says
+1
LH says
It really really depends. In the beginning, my daughter nursed 7-9 times a day for about 30 minutes at a time (she slept long stretches early and we never did 12 nursing sessions a day like you hear some people talk about). Then around 1.5-2 months, her sessions became much shorter, usually 10-15 minutes at most but she was still doing 7+ sessions per day. Around 3 months, she dropped down to 5-6 shorter sessions per day and I finally felt like I had time to do things other than nurse. But then when I went back to work at 4 months, she started doing longer sessions again. She’s 5 months currently and nurses about 30-40 minutes three times per day (once before work, twice after). She drinks 8-12 oz of pumped milk while I’m gone, which I think is kind of on the low side. She clearly prefers the breast so I let her get as many calories in that way as she can, even if it means I spend most of my non-working, non-sleeping hours nursing on weekdays.
Marilla says
My first was 45 minutes to an hour at a time at the beginning. Then it gets faster little by little, as well as less frequent.
FVNC says
Yes, it really does depend. My first was tiny and nursed for 45min-1 hr long stretches for quite a while. I only remember this because of the amount of Netflix I watched while nursing her. So many shows. With my second, I figured I’d nurse and use my mat leave to catch up on the three years of television I’d missed since my first was born, but baby #2 decided to be a speed nurser. I don’t think he ever nursed more than 20 min. And I realized I’ll never be current on television again. Ha.
ElisaR says
this varies with the age of the baby. At a young age, they can nurse for 20 minutes at a time. As they get older, they get more efficient. My sons were down to around 8 minutes a feeding by 4 months.
anon says
I’ll throw my experience in too. During the first few weeks, it was around 20 min per side. That gradually got lower and by 6 months or so it was down to 10 min per side. It’s really hard in the beginning because smaller babies nurse a lot for comfort and it’s difficult to know whether they are taking long because they want the milk or just comfort.
IO says
My kiddo never nursed for comfort or “snacked” so she nursed 4-5 times a day, both sides, between 20 and 40 minutes (often falling asleep, unless it was a post-wake-up session). But I’ve seen lots of other babies nurse for a couple minutes and then be done and then nurse for a couple minutes on and off for hours.
SC says
My baby was tiny and premature and didn’t have the suck/swallow reflex. At first, nursing/bottle feeding took about an hour, and then I had to pump for 20 minutes. By the time I was done, it was almost time to start nursing again. Those were a rough couple of weeks.
Once Baby hit his due date, he nursed for about 30 minutes, and at some point, I didn’t have to pump anymore (unless I just wanted to have milk for a bottle later). As he got older, it dropped to about 15-20 minutes. I switched to formula when he was about 6 months old.
Delta Dawn says
For both my babies, as newborns, it took what I considered a really long time, like an hour. As anon above said, I think a lot of it was for comfort and not entirely for milk. My IBCLC had a pretty strict approach of nursing for ten minutes per side (twenty total). Maybe after the first month, I followed that advice (before that I just wanted to let them nurse as long as they wanted, but at some point I knew I couldn’t take being trapped in nursing jail for hours on end anymore). So, after 4-6 weeks or so, I would latch baby on one side for ten minutes, switch sides, give him another ten minutes, and stop. Baby did not protest at all, which surprised me. My IBCLC shortened that to seven minutes per side at about 5 months. As many have said, though, it depends on the baby– but you can at least try a set time and see if that works for you and your baby.
ER says
Talk to me about yoga. I’m one year postpartum with my second. When I do yoga I keep blowing air out of my you know where. (I think there’s a word for that, but I don’t remember.). Any words of wisdom?
ANon says
I saw a physical therapist who focused on postpartum core re-building. I was asking her to share some success stories so I could know what type of results to expect. I don’t know if I would have had the issue you mentioned (because I wasn’t doing yoga), but she did mention she worked with a gymnast who struggled with your issue. The therapist described it as the gymnist needing to strengthen all of her pelvic floor. Perhaps you can see if there are any PTs who specialize in pelvic floor/postpartum core issues and see if that is something that could help.
Sarabeth says
I did this for awhile. Definitely related to pelvic floor weakness. I just kept up with the yoga and it eventually stopped, but there are also pelvic floor strength programs you can do. Momma Strong is one that several friends of mine have used and liked.
Anonymous says
Try mixing it up with Pilates and Barre instead of straight yoga. Sometimes you need to contract muscles more than you need to work on flexibility – that’s my problem with yoga sometimes.
Spirited child advice? says
I have two kids, 3 and 1. The 3 year old is very easy to parent – occasional meltdowns when she is hungry or tired, but generally easygoing, obeys the very few rules that we have, etc. She is extremely introverted and cautious.
On the other hand, my son who just turned one is both a ray of sunshine in our house, and a holy terror. 90% of the time he is complete smiles, running around trying to give out hugs. The other 10% of the time he wants to play with a “toy” that is not safe or completely inappropriate. Unfortunately, he gets fixated on what he wants and is far less distractable than I remember my daughter being at that age. And if I take away the coveted object, he will have a true three-year-old-style temper tantrum of the sort that my daughter never has – he hurls his body on the floor howling. Last night he was upset about a toothbrush that I wouldn’t let him take into the bathtub, and he was sobbing with rage for what felt like 20 minutes. He is very strong and mobile, and it took two grownups to hold him down to get his diaper changed so I could get him into bed. (That’s a whole different challenge – he is tall and strong enough to climb onto couches, rocking chairs, strollers, toilets, etc —- his physical abilities far outstrip his ability to understand what is ok)
I guess my question is – is this in the range of normal for someone who literally turned one year old a few days ago? I have my 12 month check up next week, and I would like to know whether I should push the pediatrician about it.
blueridge29 says
I found the book Raising Your Spirited Child helpful with my much more intense, active second child. I believe it had a series of questions to rank the “spirit” level of your kiddo. This may help you to have some perspective before you talk to your pediatrician.
*I do not know what is considered the normal range for a child. My kids range from well behaved, sweet, tiny humans to hostile, antisocial cave people depending on the time of day/weather/food choices/comfort level of their clothing.
lala says
That sounds totally normal to me. Both of my kids were like that around age 1, with my second having more longevity with his tantrums.
When my second came along I had read the Janet Lansbury book “No Bad Kids” and it was a GAME CHANGER for stuff like this. I think she gives a really solid approach for handling these emotions. While it requires a lot of patience to follow her method in the beginning, my now 2.5 year old is so much easier to handle than my eldest was at this point (and my eldest by far had an easier personality).
It sounds like what you are seeing here is a major personality difference in your two kids, but I think it is definitely age appropriate and normal. I would highly recommend Janet Lansbury’s books/podcasts for coming up with strategies to deal with this behavior.
Anon says
If my kids are any indication, yes it’s normal. Mine had the “terrible twos” for about 3 years. Push your ped to give you advice on a strong willed (or spirited, or whatever term she wants to use) child and the best ways to set and enforce boundaries.
We’ve had to use a combination of the techniques in “The Explosive Child” and “Setting Limits for your Strong Willed Child”. The latter book is geared a little older than toddler, so that’s why we had to incorporate other ideas, but the general framework seemed to work pretty well.
My biggest piece of advice is to get your partner in on it. She/he has to be 100% in on the approach and 100% consistent with you. With strong willed kids, if they sense any sort of discord between the two of you, they will absolutely seek it out and push until you both break. You have to be unified and consistent, which takes a lot of work, but it pays off majorly.
CPA Lady says
100% agree with all of this, especially the part about seeing eye to eye with your partner.
My daughter started having screaming rage tantrums right around the time she turned 1. It’s still going strong (though far less frequently and for more rational reasons) at a few months shy of 4. I guess I never thought of her as spirited… huh. This thread is making me reconsider that.
It’s something you’ll get used to. It’s not pleasant, but over time I’ve developed a sense of humor about it, which helps a great deal too.
Anon says
It’s not really spirited or strong willed in the true sense of the term, so it makes sense that you wouldn’t have applied that label, but the techniques seem to be helpful even if your kid doesn’t meet the literal definition but just isn’t an “easy going child” like some people apparently seem to have.
EB0220 says
My two are similar. Older daughter is so mellow and easy. Younger daughter is very spirited. I 100% agree with No Bad Kids. Total game changer with my spirited kiddo. The great thing is that once I was consistent with her methods for a month or so, things became much more smooth.
Anonymous says
Oh look! You have a boy!
Completely normal.
OP says
Thanks a lot for all of the responses!
LH says
Can we talk about starting solids, especially baby-led weaning? My five month old sits up pretty well (with back support) and is showing a lot of interest in our food during meals. The idea of letting her feed herself is appealing, although maybe just because I’m lazy. Recommended books or blogs on this subject, or any recommended foods to introduce first?
Anonymous says
I like BLW ideas a lot. Her site is good for getting started, and her insta is fun for coming up with more ideas. http://www.blwideas.com/start/
Anon says
If you asked me, I would tell you I did not do BLW. But we started purees and baby oatmeal at 5.5 months and then started introducing puffs at 6 months for a week or two to get her used to the concept of chewing and then moved on to soft finger food – ripe banana, avocado, shredded meat, eggs (which she reacted to, so those got taken out of rotation), cheese tortellini, very tender black beans, steamed green peas, steamed carrots, etc. Anything not already bite-size we cut into about pea-size pieces. Even now at 11 months we do a mix of finger food and self-feeding mixed with spoon-feeding baby oatmeal (with peanut butter mixed in) and stage 3 pouches or jars to supplement. Our LO is very independent, so she definitely prefers to feed herself (which can be more messy and time consuming, particularly when trying to eat while out and about). So, to a BLW purist, we were nowhere close, but the mixed approach worked really well for our family.
Anonymous says
+1 on the mixed approach.
Delta Dawn says
I did this too– I was so ambitious about making my own baby food (ugh why?), bought a Baby Bullett (again why? I had a blender already!), made a ton of baby food purees… and LO wouldn’t eat any of it. He just wanted what we were eating. So he got tiny bites of mashed sweet potatoes, smushed up squash, etc… I don’t think I knew what BLW was, exactly, but I inadvertently sort-of did this version of it.
Anonymous says
Yeah, making baby food was fun for me, TBH. We finally sprang for a Vitamix for the job. That might have had something to do with it, LOL.
Butter says
We did BLW and it was successful. Pretty much just started some of our own regularly prepared food on LO’s high chair from ~6 months on. We used pouches and those teething biscuit things for on the go meals and snacks, but otherwise generally just gave real food at meals, without worrying too much about how much he was actually eating. I think early days we did oatmeal (I tried the baby oatmeal and it was awful, so just gave him the same Quaker plain oats I make myself), eggs, softer fruits and veggies, breads, bean chilis, pastas…basically anything that was soft or could be gummed. Besides honey and sweets pretty much everything else was fair game. Oh and we used Bambas early on (I think TJ’s makes a dup now too), at the approval of our pediatrician.
Butter says
Oh one thing I remember reading somewhere that was really helpful – don’t give up an entire food if baby doesn’t like it the first, second, third time, etc. Babies/toddlers’ tastes change constantly, so if they don’t like something one week it doesn’t mean that it should be written off forever. Just keep offering stuff and don’t be discouraged if they do or don’t go for certain things repeatedly.
Anon says
+1 this was our approach – mainly just softer foods from whatever we were normally eating. We didn’t mind the mess and didn’t worry about how much food was actually making it in the mouth. I cared more about the “real” food than the BLW part, so our focus was just the flavors and experience of eating, rather than the nutrition or strict self-feeding-only concept.
For on-the-go, we sometimes did pouches. But mainly, we had that blue and green “mash and serve bowl” from Nuk, and used that to make “stews” out of our food that we could feed them with a spoon. So we could still go out to eat (or order in) and feed Baby – we could order Thai and make a “stew” out of the massaman curry. Or we could order steamed veggies and mash them with some tiny bites of our chicken. Or we could go out for Mexican and mash up the rice and beans. And pretty much every place has a side of fresh fruit, which is easy to mash up.
We used it pretty religiously from ~6 months to ~15 months when the kids could reliably chew their own food and pick up pieces themselves.
anon says
We did a mix. When my son was teething I gave him a peeled whole apple that he really seemed to like.
Anonymous says
We started with purees because my baby had the world’s strongest gag reflex and would just vomit anything solid till about 7-8 mo (and still made it to all table food by 10 mo). I had hoped to do more of a BLW approach but it just did not work with the vomiting. Baby was definitely ready for food by 4.5 mo– sitting unassisted and VERY interested, and wanted to eat a TON from the outset, more than he’d have been able to feed himself . My ped said that they develop the oral motor skills to manage solid food the same time as they develop the pincer grasp.
Pogo says
Just a note that some BLW purists can be pretty intense about combo feeding (purees and table foods) and are also really against any food at all before 6 months.
I personally did purees from months 4-6 (just once a day) and then “blw” but it was definitely something a purist would be horrified by. Oh well.
rosie says
I found the BLW cookbook useful both for the info and for the recipes (it contains the only lentil recipe my husband actually likes, hah). We were not BLW purists and I found the big BLW fb group off-putting. Totally fine if you want to follow it that closely, but I just don’t think a kid is not going to be an awful eater for life if they get spoon-fed pureed food at the beginning.
Cb says
We’ve done a mix and it works well. We spoon-feed the occasional puree but mostly table food – frittata and any sort of veggie fritters are the favourites but really he’ll eat 90% of things you put in front of him. But there is some trial and error, he didn’t eat bananas for months.
Talk to me about IVF says
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