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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 59 Comments · by

Washable Wednesday: Floral Ponte Skirt

Machine-Washable Work Clothes· Recent Recs

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Black Pencil Skirt for Work: 1.State Floral Ponte SkirtOooh: I kind of like this machine washable (tumble dry!) skirt from 1.State. The floral details on the ponte look interesting without being too girly, and I like the hidden zipper in the back. It was $89 at Nordstrom but is now marked to $53; it’s available in sizes XS-L. 1.State Floral Ponte Skirt Psst: Note that this previous washable skirt recommendation is now on sale for $40. (L-2)

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Comments

  1. Philanthropy Girl says

    Has anyone seen something like this in plus sizes? It’s so cute!

  2. Anonymous says

    My 1 year old (still taking formula, not chewing that well) goes to daycare. I pack rice rusks, yogurt, puréed fruit (from frozen) and puréed vegetables (from frozen), cheerios, munchies. Can anyone suggest some other stuff I could incorporate. I feel like we should be incorporating more variety, just not sure what. He eats a lot and likes having a variety of small portions.

    • AEK says

      Mine 1 year old loves cheese. It was the first solid he really figured out how to “chew.” We get the Baby Bella rounds, which are a perfect portion size for him (I cut or break them up).

      We have had luck with cut up soft fruit too. Bananas & avocados are great. I’ve also recently given some fruit cups (mandarin oranges, peach-pear mix); they are packed in juice, not syrup, and I just rinse it off.

    • BKDC says

      I used to mix quinoa into my son’s purees. How do you think he would do with avocado slices?

    • Quail says

      The foods that work for my almost 1 year old who is an intermittent chewer include sweet potatoes cooked and chopped well, cheese and broccoli patties (these really crumble) as well as veggie and meat patties using an egg binder. Think I got those recipes from the wholesome baby food page. Also – chopped canned fish as it flakes. My kid had been really into self feeding since almost day one of solid food so we had to find food that he could grab but still could be mashed or casually gummed.

    • Anonymous says

      Tiny pieces of toast (with or without butter/cream cheese/avocado/hummus/peanut butter)? What about smushed raspberries (like thawed frozen ones), or bits of peaches or mango?

  3. TK says

    I’m a sucker and agreed to pay $5 extra bucks a week at daycare for my almost-2 year old to attend “dance class” with a teacher that comes in once a week. He seems to love it and started showing off his moves at home – adorable!

    Yesterday I get a flier in his cubby at school that there will be a ‘recital’ for kids of all ages in the dance program, with parent entry tickets costing $8 each and a mandatory costume fee of $65 ($40 if I buy before the end of the month.) The recital is not mandatory, but if he wants to participate, the costume (and tickets for anyone who wants to watch) are.

    This is crazy, right? Just say no?

    • Anon says

      Lol just no. I could maybe accept the $8 “ticket”, but that costume fee is a big nope in my book for a recital at daycare that the kid isn’t going to remember.

      • Same Anon says

        And just to add, I don’t think you are a sucker for paying for the dance class. It sounds like a great program that he enjoys and probably doesn’t require any extra time/effort from you if it is at daycare. I plan on enrolling my kiddo in similar programs offered at his daycare.

        The recital, though, nope!

    • anne-on says

      Haaa, no. I don’t think you’re nuts for doing the class (especially in winter, we pay through the nose for gym classes/indoor play spaces), but the fee for the costume at this age sounds insane to me.

    • Lyssa says

      Agree with everyone saying no. But I’d urge you to politely say something to the day care about it, too. They need to understand that this is unreasonable. (I think that the $5/wk for the class sounds great, though.)

      • TK says

        I completely agree – it’s a third party that does the class and sets the rates, not the daycare itself, but it still seems highly inappropriate, particularly for this center. Our daycare has a high percentage of kids who are there with state assistance – I can’t know for sure, but I’m fairly confident that my family is among the few that pay the full tuition rate. It would very unfortunate if some of the families who live closer to the margin than we do feel pressured to make such an insane purchase.

        • Meg Murry says

          In that case I think you definitely need to say something, unless you think that they are only hitting up those of you who can “afford” to pay the costuming fee to subsidize the rest of the class. I agree that it’s ridiculous for you to pay for the almost 2 year old who won’t know the difference, but I feel terrible for the 4 or 5 year old who’s parent has to opt out of their kid participating, because the older kids WILL get it, at least a little.

          And actually, why are they charging you $5 extra? Can’t they just raise all the tuition by something less than $5 a week and send ALL the kids to dance class? And then have the “costumes” just be something like “have your child wear all black and we’ll make them a paper hat or a reusable tulle tutu”.

          Our daycare has a sliding scale plus a lot of kids with state assistance, and they get grants to have people come in to do this kind of dance class, music class, etc. Or a local person who teaches music class comes in and does it for free or cheap as a way to test out her lessons first, before using them on paying customers.

    • Anonymous says

      The fee is absurd for sure but it will be adorable. My 1 year old had a concert at his daycare and was in something and it was adorable. He didn’t get anything much out of it (other than the general fun in the air and a chance to hang with big kids who were up to three years old). He smiled the whole time and I saw other kids from the daycare say hi to him or come give him hugs and it felt really nice. I felt much better about taking my kid to daycare after going. He looked so included and loved and everyone knew his name. He is the only grand kid on both sides and the grandparents and great grandparents loved the videos.

  4. Byrd says

    My 3 month old started daycare this week, and she is just so tiny and tired and pathetic. For the first time in my life I am considering staying at home (although I’m also excited to be back at work!) I’m just not getting enough time with her. So many mixed emotions… Help…

    • Syd says

      I imagine we’ve all been there! The transition is going to take at least two weeks to become a routine. It’s easy to panic and feel like things aren’t going well, when all your baby (and you!), need is some time to get used to the new normal! As far as wanting to stay home, I never really had the urge, but it seems like all my friends went through that. Most of them didn’t feel that way after a month or two, one did decide to quit working. Give it some time before you think seriously about it. You can do it!!!

    • Pigpen's Mama says

      I didn’t feel like that the first week, but it hit me a month later. And still does occasionally, especially after we have a particularly good weekend. But now, a year after she started daycare full time, I know that she’s happy there AND enjoys her time at home with us.

      It got a lot easier when she got bigger, and wasn’t the littlest, newest one in the room. It also got easier when I saw how sweet her daycare providers were with her.

      Good luck, and you can get through this — it is so much harder on you than her!

      • Lkl says

        It hit me a few months later, for a few months. And has been improving over time. It’s easier and easier as the baby gets older and more active and more communicative (and more tiring to run around after, honestly). It’s easy to feel like the baby will be this helpless for a long time, but you’ll be amazed. I really wished I could have been home for 7 or 8 months, but alas, that wasn’t to be.

    • KEL says

      As a working mom who uses day care, I have a suggestion that might raise eyebrows here, but— can you take some additional leave, even unpaid? If it is an option, even if it hurts, it might be worth it. 12 weeks is so young; it is barely out of the “fourth trimester” and they need *so* much.

      I would never urge a working mom to “stay home,” especially when she loves being at work. But taking a little more time off is different. Trust your instincts; you know if this is just an adjustment period or if your baby is not yet ready for daycare. It is so much different even several weeks later, when they can hold up their heads, and even sit up. They are much less vulnerable and needy.

      That said, if more time off is not an option, you need to make the best of the situation. Make the day-care day as short as possible for the baby, and give her all the hugs and snuggles you can when with her. It will be fine. It’s hard, especially for you, but it will be fine.

      • KEL says

        I should also add, make very sure that you’re comfortable with this day care. They are not all the same, especially for infants.

    • NewMomAnon says

      I found that it made sense to go into work later, and spend more time in the morning with my kiddo when she was just starting at daycare. Would that work for you?

      On being a SAHM; this is still so new – you will figure out a schedule that works, and as she gets older you will find that she has more energy. I wouldn’t make any decisions based on one week of a brand-new schedule. Mixed emotions are part of parenting. Hugs. It will get better.

    • Spirograph says

      Mixed emotions are really normal, and it will probably get easier. If not, reevaluate in a few months, but definitely give it time to make a clear-headed decision. FWIW, my daughter still loves her teachers from her infant room at daycare, even though she’s no longer there, so also remember your baby will bond with these people and be happy and well-taken care of, even though you’re not providing 100% of the care, yourself.

      As another suggestion: is there any way your partner could stay home with baby for a while? My husband took parental leave for several weeks when I went back to work after each of our kids. It was good for our relationship to have H take full responsibility for the baby, the baby was a little older when we had to turn him/her over to relative strangers, and altogether it was just really good for my mental health to be able to tell myself “yes, *I’m* not with baby, but husband is” for those first few weeks back in the office.

    • MDMom says

      Nothing to add to other suggestions, just commiseration. I struggled at 4.5 months, though it got better rapidly after first few days. He was fine. Issues were mine. I don’t think I was ready at 3 months so I’m grateful I had longer leave. It is actually getting harder again now that baby is getting more interactive, so be prepared for that also.

  5. Pigpen's Mama says

    After typing this out, I’ve realized this is mostly a vent, but that’s what I need right now!

    I’m caught between a rock and a hard place — or between my toddler’s bed time and when my husband gets home form work.

    He gets home anywhere between 7 and 8:30 — usually on the later side of that range, and usually unpredictable and out of his control. Our 1 year old starts getting visibly tired between 6:45 and 7, and then melting down between 7 and 7:30. Ideally I’d do PJs and milk around 7, and put her in her crib by 7:15/7:30 (we have a short n’ lazy bedtime routine). But husband really wants me to keep her up until he’s home — which I do sometimes. She’s a mess until he gets home, and then perks up seeing him, so he has no idea how miserable she is.

    So I’m either stuck with a cranky, unhappy toddler, or a disappointed husband who doesn’t get it. I know her sleep must come before his feelings, but I feel bad when he gets home 15-30 minutes after I put her to bed.

    I’d much rather have those 15-30 minutes to clean up, get dinner ready, or just decompress — rather than toddler wrangle so he can give her a hug and kiss before either I put her to bed, or keep her up for another 10-15 minutes while he gets out of his suit so he can put her to bed. Although I’m fine doing the evenings solo, this dance makes it frustrating and stressful.

    Anyone deal with this? I’m trying to push the morning routine back in his direction (that responsibility creep I am annoyed by), with the thought that he can spend more time with her then, but morning is just so rushed.

    • Anonymous says

      Can I just say, I think that is incredibly rude and selfish of your husband. Tell him to Facetime her with you at 6pm, and get her to bed at a reasonable hour.

    • Wow says

      To give you another datapoint, my 1 year old goes to sleep at 6 pm. My mom puts him to bed and I almost rarely see him when I get home because he’s already sleep. I cannot imagine keeping a 1 year old up until 8 pm or 8:30 pm. Of course he is cranky and miserable.

      If you haven’t already, please read (or tell your husband to read or even skim) the sleep book by Dr. Weissbluth which talks about how critical adequate sleep is for a child. At that age, I believe the recommended sleep time is between 6 – 7:30 pm (and maybe between 6-7 pm, I just can’t remember).

      I agree that your husband is being selfish, but he may not understand how critical is it for your child to sleep on time. Facetime is a good alternative, I often do this with my own kids when I’m working late (like today!).

      • Philanthropy Girl says

        Yes – this is correct. My 16 month old is in bed between 6 and 630 most nights. I had to change my work schedule so I’d see him at all. When I have nights I work late, I sneak in for a good night kiss while he’s sleeping. It stinks, but that’s life. I understand that’s probably not an option for your husband, but I think expecting a tired baby to stay up is utterly unreasonable. It also affects his sleeping throughout the day – when mine goes to bed late, he wakes up early, doesn’t nap well, and the crankiness continues.

        I second Dr. Weissbluth’s book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child.

        Is there any adjusting to your husband’s schedule that would allow him some quality time with your child? Maybe in the mornings before work or over a lunch break?

    • Famouscait says

      What about a brief nap for the kiddo when s/he gets home at the end of the day? It might not interfere with overnight sleep, but could help you reasonably bump bedtime back until your husband gets home.

      • Two Cents says

        I would not recommend this. A nap too late in the day (ie: any time after 3 pm), can interfere with a child’s sleep drive and cause them not to sleep or to sleep much later than they should be sleeping.

        I agree with others that your husband needs to get home earlier, Facetime, or just accept the fact that he won’t see his daughter in the evening. Extending bedtime makes for an irritable, cranky, perpetually sleep deprived toddler. And if your husband likes data, there are studies which show that children who don’t get enough asleep have lower IQs, attention deficits, less impulse control, etc. I second the sleep book by Weissbluth.

        • Famouscait says

          I recommended it because it works for my 14m old. He takes a nap somewhere in the 5-6pm hour, and then goes down to bed from about 7:30pm – 7am nightly.

          • Pigpen's Mama says

            I wish this worked for her, but it doesn’t anymore! She still gets cranky around 7pm, no matter how late her last nap was.

        • lolilol says

          Depends on the kid. Our 11 month old still needs a third catnap to get to bedtime if she wakes up from her afternoon nap early (i.e., before 3:15). No effect on bedtime or nightime sleep.

      • Anonymous says

        When my now-preschooler was a baby, he used to sleep in the car from 6-7 every night on the way home from daycare. He still went down at 9 pm (which worked for us — see getting home at 7 pm) and slept for 10 hours a night. So every baby is different.

    • TK says

      It’s not your problem – it’s his. If he wants to see the baby more, he needs to figure out a way to make that happen, either by taking on more of the morning time, or by doing whatever he needs to do with his work schedule to get home earlier. Cranky / sleep deprived toddlers aren’t able to learn and function at their full capacity so he’s just going to have to figure it out in a way that doesn’t disrupt baby’s needs. I had a similar conversation with my husband when he wanted me to wait on feeding the baby until he got home so we could have ‘family dinner.’ The request was obviously made by someone who hadn’t spent enough time trying to distract or entertain a hungry kid … just wasn’t going to happen.

      All of us working moms have figured out how to both see our kids and work – if he wants quality baby time to be a part of his life, he needs to take active steps to make that happen.

      • BKDC says

        Not to pile on, but what works for us is to have my husband take care of morning duty when I get ready for work. This allows dad to make up for the time he may have missed the night before if he comes home after my 16-month old is in bed by 7. I’ve never been asked to keep my son up or to postpone dinner. To echo TK and Tim Gunn, he needs to make it work.

    • mascot says

      Stand firm on the bedtime. He can find quality time in another place (morning routine, weekend breakfast, whatever). At that age, we had a rule that a late parent couldn’t interrupt the bedtime routine because kiddo would get so worked up and excited. You could see him when he was asleep and in the morning if you came in after 7pm. We are super protective of sleep in our house so we didn’t feel guilty about it.

      • JJ says

        Echoing this. Sleep is more important for toddlers at this point. He can facetime with her or make up for it in the mornings or on weekends. My husband and I have the same rule – if you’re late, we’re not moving the kids’ bedtimes around for it and you can’t rev them up while they’re going to bed.

        I would educate your husband on how critical sleep and a reliable schedule is for toddlers. I can’t imagine mine staying up that late and being anything but a mess.

      • hoola hoopa says

        +100

        My husband has unpredictable and often late work hours. In addition to this standing rule, we developed the habit of checking in when I left work where he’d say yes/no to whether he’d be home for bedtime. Takes 10 seconds, and I can prep the kids (because “will daddy be home” is one of their first questions).

    • NewMomAnon says

      Let him know it’s only temporary – my 2 year old can occasionally stay up until 8, and regularly stays up until 7:30 (she sleeps late so still gets 11.5 to 12 hours of sleep). So it’s likely only 12-18 months of adjusting his work schedule for his kid.

      Also, I can’t see sufficient benefit in messing with a baby’s sleep schedule just so baby gets a few minutes to hug dad before bed. Not worth it.

    • Anonymous says

      This is total a total anecdote, but I wonder if his getting-home time is really unpredictable and out of his control. I ask because I had “unpredictable and out of my control” leaving times from work (inconsiderate boss, lots of very junior team members who didn’t manage their workflow very efficiently and would often bring me things at the last minute) when my son was a baby, and often didn’t get to see him awake in the evening.

      What was really happening was that I didn’t take control of my own time. Once I started telling people that absent a true emergency, I was going to walk out the door at 4:30, my workload rearranged itself like magic to be more morning-heavy. I brought one of my team along to meetings that might run late so that I could walk out and still get a wrap-up later, made a “last call” round of my team and boss every day around 3:00 so I’d have time for anything that really needed *my* attention, and tapped one person who was staying later to be a point person after I left. Seriously, people adjusted within a week, my career didn’t suffer at all, and I kicked myself for not doing it a lot sooner.

      Now, if your husband is a surgeon or an air traffic controller or something, obviously he can’t just up and leave when the clock strikes whatever. But if he has an office job, I suspect he could make some tweaks. And should, because a sleepy toddler is a vicious, vicious cycle.

      • JJ says

        I’m all over this thread, just agreeing with people everywhere. But so much this. It’s so easy to say that people have unpredictable and out of control schedules, but the reality is, they can make it work. I was in BigLaw and people knew that I left at 5 to get my kids. I’m in-house now, and same deal. I can be reached on my phone and I’m very responsive to emails, but I won’t be in the office after 5, barring a true work emergency.

      • Anonymous says

        Oh, I’m skeptical about how much is out of his control. It’s been like this since we started dating (so I knew what I was getting in to). I think the issue is there are days that it is within his control and just has to do with poor time management, or not telling people ‘not now, unless it’s an emergency’ when they come into his office at 6pm. But there are also days where it is a legit emergency — and not a Big Law ‘the client is having a hissy fit’ emergency, but a real time problem that needs to be addressed now and he can’t delegate. But there have been enough of the former self-inflicted late nights, that he’s burned through his good will on the legit late nights, if that makes sense.

        But that’s really a me-issue, I have to stop caring about why he’s late — because it doesn’t matter if the baby needs to go to bed, the baby needs to go to bed. The critical nature of dad’s work is irrelevant.

        Maybe being firm on bedtime will hustle him out of there on the non-critical nights.

        BUT — I know I agree with you regarding MY schedule – and I’m now starting to just let things wait til tomorrow after a certain point. It’s hard, given my previous pre-baby ‘yes, I can do that right now’ approach to work.

    • POSITA says

      My 2 yo goes to bed at 8:30 or 9 PM on a regular basis and has regularly ever since she’s been on a schedule. She’s always made up for that time with really good naps. At 1 yo she was still taking two long (2-3 hour naps) per day. Now she sleeps for about 3 hours at daycare. It works for her and us. She’s not a mess in the evenings and seems to be well rested during the day.

      I wouldn’t keep a cranky toddler up, but naps may be able to help bridge the gap if you can get her into the routine.

    • MDMom says

      Just wanted to say I sympathize. My husband often misses our 7.5 month old’s 7-730 bedtime. But the bedtime is when it is whether he makes it or not and he understands that, even if he doesn’t always like it. Re your husband being selfish- yeah he is but it’s understandable. I wish I could keep my kid up later too because want more time with him. It sucks. Im guessing this isn’t something he can adjust by working at home after bedtime? Also no time to change when he gets home-he needs to just pop on a bathrobe over his suit and get to it.

      The evening nap may help but it just depends on your kid. Contrary to weissbluth’s warnings, my kid goes to bed no later than 730 whether he naps at 5/530 or not. He often misses that nap or it’s abbreviated due to daycare pickup timing and it makes him grumpier to miss it but doesn’t change bedtime.

    • KJ says

      Another data point: My 1 year old goes to bed at 6:30. My partner always gets home after she is in bed, but he does the morning routine with her, so we both get time with her daily. Sleep is so important for their health and development that it has to be a special occasion for me to keep her up any later than usual.

    • Anonymous says

      Thanks to you all! I want to reply individually to each post — but then I’d NEVER make day care pickup tonight!

      As I mentioned previously, this has been the case since when we started dating — so I’ve got all sorts of baggage about it myself, so I wasn’t sure if I was being reasonable about having a hard stop bedtime, or if my personal resentment was creeping in. For special snowflake reasons of his own, he’s particularly sensitive about not seeing her at night — but those are HIS issues, not hers.

      But since it’s pretty much unanimous, it’s time for the ‘she’s going to bed no later than 7:15 whether you’re home or not’ talk. And encouraging him to find some other dedicated time that he can spend with her.

      • Meg Murry says

        I am in the chorus of +1s that he can learn to prioritize bedtime more if it’s at a set time. Depending on his commute, maybe you could give him a tiny bit of wiggle room. For instnace, if he can text you an ETA for his arrival, and it’s only 7:15 instead of 7:30, maybe you can do PJs and milk and the cuddle in the rocker in her room until he comes home, so he can give her a hug and put her in the crib? So he’d see her, but only for a little while, and if she’s overwhelmingly DONE you can put her in the crib and he missed it?

        For some kids, that might work. For others, it could turn into a “but where’s daddy? he’s supposed to tuck me in!” crying mess at bedtime, so you need to do what works for you without having a melting down toddler on your hands.

    • SC says

      This response may be a bit late. But can you ask your husband to take care of the bedtime routine by himself at least one night per week? Maybe on a weekend night? That might help him understand that a firm bedtime is necessary, and how miserable it is for both your daughter and whoever is taking care of her to keep her up. Plus, he may get some “special” time with her that makes up (to him) not seeing her at night, and you may get a break or at least a chance to shower or something (I struggle to find time to shower on weekends).

      DH and I each have at least one late night and each take care of the baby by ourselves one day per week (he works Saturdays and is off Mondays). It’s awesome that we each have our own bonding time with the baby, but it’s also exhausting and sometimes hard — which makes us appreciate each other and our nanny so much more.

  6. Super Anon says

    Somewhat regular poster, but anon for this. I’m 16 weeks pregnant with my third (and delighted about it!), but I’m really apprehensive about telling work. I have been practicing (formerly big law, currently gov’t) for 12+ years, and I’m in my early 40s, so I am exasperated at my internal monologue on this. I’ve been in my current position about 3 years, though, and I haven’t had any big splashy cases or any great accomplishments yet. With my two previous pregnancies, I was in BigLaw and had worked my heart out and had no hesitation in announcing my pregnancies at work. Here, though, I just don’t feel like I’ve been awesome and hard-working enough to announce a 3-month leave. I know this probably indicates larger changes that need to be made, and that is a separate issue–I would really value some advice on how to stop with the ridiculous I-need-to-hide-my-growing-belly panic each morning as I dress, and snap out of feeling apologetic for not being Super Go Getter.

    • Anon says

      Maternity leave isn’t something that you need to “earn,” which is how your post makes it sound. Sure, it is best to wait a year into a job to get pregnant so you can build up your reputation, but stuff happens, as evidenced by several posts in the past week of people getting pregnant immediately before/after starting a job. It doesn’t sound like you are a bad employee, just that you haven’t been the greatest employee ever. This is probably more of a self confidence issue, apart from the pregnancy, that you are now linking to the pregnancy. You are allowed to have a life and a family, including taking maternity leave. Take whatever you can/are comfortable with, whether it be paid or under FMLA. If you are in the US, the maternity policy in this country is already a joke, so don’t let yourself feel guilty for one second for taking anything you can under it.

      • mascot says

        +1. You’ve been there 3 years, clearly you are doing something right even if it isn’t all fireworks.

    • anon says

      Yeah, I’m one of those geniuses who is about to have to request maternity leave when I’ve only been at my job a couple months. I haven’t earned it for sure! and i’m in big law, so it’s lengthy…

    • MDMom says

      You need to step out of the big law mindset, as you recognize, but hard to say how exactly. Maybe helpful to remember why you left biglaw in the first place- probably had something to do with this kind of situation. Don’t apologize, and try your best not to feel guilty. You’re pregnant and happy about it. It’s a good thing. Congratulations.

    • RDC says

      Agree with the others that you need to mentally separate the pregnancy / maternity leave from your work performance. You’ve been there 3 yrs, don’t feel bad for a second about announcing your pregnancy and taking as much leave as you want/can.

      But about not being the “super go getter,” I totally empathize about feeling bad. I find myself feeling really resentful of colleagues who seem so motivated and on top of things all the time. I just don’t have the energy (or the mental space … ) to bring myself to do anything “extra.” Sometimes I wish were more motivated and more like them … But at the same time I only want to do the bare minimum and then leave at 5pm sharp to come home to the kid. I feel really conflicted about it and imagine you feel similar.

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