Nursing Tuesday: Original Maternity/Nursing Bra

This my favorite DD+ nursing bra to sleep in — I like it so much I may keep buying them after I wean.  It’s not terribly supportive, but it’s all cotton, doesn’t cut or dig anywhere, is functional, and — my favorite part — is high enough that, unlike a lot of other nursing sleep bras, nothing is falling out or totally inappropriate for hanging around the house on a Saturday morning in PJs.  I’m a big fan of the black ones in particular, but I also own it in white.  The sizing can be a bit odd (I wear an L++), but I like the fact that it comes in sizes beyond S/M/L.  Amazon has it for $28-$36.  Bravado! Original Maternity/Nursing Bra

(L-1)

(Pictured: nothing, as per previous requests. Also, here’s our last discussion on favorite underwire nursing bras, as well as the best clothes to wear while pumping.)

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Comments

  1. Merabella says:

    Y’all, my MIL wrote me a poem – about labor – a graphic very disturbing poem about labor. I’m not really sure what I’m asking for… how does one respond to this? I feel like I have to respond – since she sent me a poem – about labor – but the other part of me feels like responding is like poking the bear – will I get more poems, about increasingly more graphic things?

    This is weird right? Did anyone else have their MIL send them v-jay/labor poetry? I’m just gobsmacked.

    • WOW. I… I… I have absolutely no idea how to react to this.

      (also, WHAT?)

      • Merabella says:

        These reactions are making me feel better about the fact that I thought this was completely INSANE. I thought for a moment, am I being a terrible daughter-in-law that I don’t appreciate this? Is this because I am a FTM, and once I have this kid I will want to send my own slam poetry to everyone about labor?

    • Newly pregnant says:

      Hahaha. I can’t even imagine. I probably wouldn’t respond. At most I would just say “thanks.” I certainly would not want to encourage more graphic poem writing.

      ETA – I see from your response below that she included a personal note about why she wanted to share it with you. In that case I would definitely acknowledge it with a thanks, but leave it at that. This is SO weird and hilarious.

      • Merabella says:

        Yeah… I’m just baffled on how to even compose this message. I can’t call her. I know I wouldn’t be able to form complete coherent sentences about it. So obviously I reply to the email she sent to me. Emily Post does not have a suggestion for writing thank you notes for slam labor poetry written to you from your MIL, I think that this is a severe lacking on her part.

    • I would literally be speechless. This is an awesome crazy MIL story. Maybe “Thanks for thinking of us!” will suffice.

      • Merabella says:

        It did leave me completely speechless – with a touch of PTSD. I find myself sitting at my desk thinking “what just happened here? this can’t be real, I’ve made this up, this is a VERY WEIRD DREAM!”

        This is definitely taking the cake on the weirdest “gifts” I’ve ever received. Topping the time my husband’s boss’s wife offered to take Boudoir photos of me for a wedding gift… I feel like I’m on crazy pills.

    • Famouscait says:

      I am horrified for you. And dying to read said poem.

      As for how to respond, this is so off the wall, I don’t know what response would be best. Maybe don’t acknowledge it and then it will be forgotten in the hustle and bustle of your baby’s arrival?

    • Maddie Ross says:

      Is poetry her “thing”? I am just wondering, as I have a friend who’s MIL does this. She’s been composing poetry her whole life and regaled us with one at her bridal shower and again at both the rehearsal dinner and wedding. She’s also included them in xmas cards and self-published several books. If that’s her “thing,” I would just let it go and chalk it up to her being artsy. And different from you. (And I also feel like maybe this is the moment to mention based on your comment below that I have complete bladder control post-birth and have never had to wear Depends… so don’t freak out about that unnecessarily.)

      • Merabella says:

        I have never once received poetry from her. This is not at all her thing. I also asked my husband if this was something that only came up when someone had major life events – NOPE, not a thing. She was just thinking of me and decided to express it in a poem.

        Also the Depends was because of the water breaking and going into labor, not post baby having Depends usage – like “oh my water broke, I must therefore wear Depends.”

        The poem was exclusively about labor/having the baby.

        I really feel like I should post it, but part of me is terrified that because it is so ridiculous it will go viral, and she would be mortified to find out I shared it on the internet… granted this woman didn’t know you could buy things other than books from Amazon, so maybe that isn’t a thing I should be worried about, but I just see this thing ending up on Reddit or something…

        • Nooo! don’t post the poem … I am just as curious as the rest, but man, it would be awful for her to find out. You will have absolutely no control over where it will be copied and pasted in the future. Once out, it’s out. In these situations, I think a heartfelt “thank you for thinking of me! We are all excited by the baby” response will do. If you have/want to retain a reasonable relationship with this woman, I think kindness should win here.

          • Ciao, pues says:

            Agreed! Don’t post. Offer gratitude. Strange as it is, it came from a place of love and that is something to celebrate!

    • Post the poem!

      • EB0220 says:

        And I will now be refreshing thissite ALL DAY to see if we find a way to share the poem!

        • Nonny says:

          Facebook secret group.

          Or Snapchat? But I don’t know how that works, really.

          • Merabella says:

            haha, I don’t know how Snapchat works either. It makes me feel incredibly old.

  2. Noelle says:

    Please post the poem. I’m so curious.

    And yes, it’s weird. I honestly wouldn’t respond. Not acknowledging inappropriate things is sometimes a good way to communicate the inappropriateness of the situation.

    • Merabella says:

      haha, I really want to post the poem, which makes part of me feel really terrible, because she is a sweet woman, and this is coming, I’m assuming, from a really nice place – where she thinks that it is a good idea to send me a poem – about labor. My husband is her only child, so maybe she is looking for female connectedness… She also sent me this long message that preceded the poem about how she had been thinking about me, because I have gone past my due date, wrote the poem and then emailed it to several of her friends. These friends suggested she send it to me, because it would show how much she cares… they also want her to perform the poem. This gives me images of my MIL performing slam poetry in front of a ton of people. Who are these friends?

      I also think I was totally taken off guard because I expected said poem to be about being a grandmother for the first time, or motherhood… Nope, about your water breaking and ruining your carpet and having to wear Depends…

      • Merabella says:

        Do we think that my husband and I will be expected to attend this performance? That might just be my nightmare.

        • Hopefully you’ll have a newborn at that point. They are such good excuses to get out of social engagements.

        • are you 100% sure it was meant to be serious? If all her friends are saying she ought to perform it live, perhaps they’re thinking it would be HILARIOUS.

          • Merabella says:

            Yea, it was meant to be serious. I know this from the email she sent me as a preface to the poem. She was inspired by her dead friend to share something personal with me. I think if it were meant to be funny it would almost make it better.

      • Meg Murry says:

        Are you 100% certain she wrote it, it’s not a terrible forward going around the internet? My aunt likes to forward me this kind of thing.Or maybe she and her friends are taking a writing or poetry class and this is a new “thing”? She isn’t going to be in the delivery room with you, right? You aren’t going to get an updated poem based on the actual labor story, are you?

        I think “Wow, I didn’t know you wrote poetry. Thanks for thinking of me [or us]. I hope baby comes soon too.” would be a safe response – neutral, and not encouraging or distracting.

        Did she send it to your work email? Have you tried googling a line or two to see if its actually a terrible email forward or some other random blog post?

        • Meg Murry says:

          And on a positive note – at least she’s just sending you poems via email. It could be worse – she could be stitching them on a sampler and expecting you to display them in your house :-)

        • Merabella says:

          Haha, I love the rationalization that this MUST be some kind of internet meme, but alas, it is not, it is my crazy MIL. She is being completely sincere. Which makes it all the more baffling.

  3. Midwest In-House says:

    Sunscreen question: Does anyone have a recommendation for a non-greasy sunscreen for a toddler? I am looking for something that can be worn on a daily basis. She goes outside at daycare for half hour twice a day (at 9 and at 3), so she isn’t getting a ton of sun exposure, but enough that I want to put sunscreen on her each day. The stuff we used last summer was so greasy and hard to rub in – I can’t imagine battling her each day to apply it, plus I feel like it would get all over her cot and blankets during naptime . Is there a kids product similar to the daily moisturizers with SPF that many adults wear? Also, what are your favorite beach day sunscreens?

    • Meg Murry says:

      Why does it need to be a kids product? Are there certain ingredients you don’t want to use (for instance, do you want a physical sunscreen like TiO2 and zinc instead of a chemical sunscreen)? Or are you concerned more about it washing off?

      We used the Target brand spray sunscreen at my mom’s house with my kids because it’s quick to apply and dries fast (spray into your hand and rub on for face & chest application), plus it’s supposed to be water resistant.

      Our daycare uses Coppertone Water Babies on all the kids (we sign a form allowing it) unless we want to provide our own separate bottle – I’m guessing it must be easy enough to apply if they are putting it on 20 kids every day.

      • Midwest In-House says:

        Fair point – it doesn’t have to be a kids product. Do you find the Target brand to be greasy? I like the idea of a spray? I just worry that using a true sunscreen every day (as opposed to a moisturizer with sunscreen like I use) will make her face break out. Maybe I should just try it and see!

        • Meg Murry says:

          My kids do break out a little in the summer if I apply sunscreen (of any kind, really) and don’t use a washcloth to scrub it off well – the water resistant ones really need scrubbing, they don’t just wash off with a quick splash of water and soap. But it’s a clogged pore bump or two (usually near the hairline where they get sweaty) that clears up with a couple of days of good washing – not a full face zit breakout.

        • Newly pregnant says:

          Babyganics has a spray, and I think you can find it at Target. Lucie’s List has a “best of” sunscreens list from 2014. http://www.lucieslist.com/lucies-list-blog/2014/05/20/best-baby-kids-sunscreens-of-2014/

      • Lyssa says:

        We used the Target kids spray last year (or Coppertone, maybe both) and it seems to work really well, easy, not greasy. My little guy is prone to eczema but never seemed to have a problem with it.

    • anonyc says:

      I have some kids with more sensitive skin, so I’ve gotten into the Neutrogena baby sunscreen for them. California baby sunscreen is also very nice. For my less-sensitive kid, I’ll just slather on regular old coppertone or whatever else we have (I like Ocean’s Potion because it smells like creamsicles but it’s a bit harder to find). Some people swear by sunscreen sticks (they look like big glue sticks) or spray sunscreen (good for body parts, not so much faces).

    • mascot says:

      I like the physical sunblocks – Blue Lizard Sensitive goes on pretty easily. Babyganics makes a pump spray but it doesn’t go on as easy as an aerosol.

    • Mom-to-be says:

      Sunscreen breaks down in a couple hours, so I’m not sure how good spraying it on in the morning would do for recess at 3…

      I wear moisturizer with SPF too, but it wears off.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I was terminated very shortly after returning from maternity leave. It is a firm having no money situation, nothing to do with my performance. I just feel devestated.

    I’ve been offered two other jobs in other legal areas but it would be starting from scratch as practically a first year lawyer when I have a few years experience. I should really just open my own solo shop but I just do not have the energy and I’m not in the right state of mind.

    I feel heart broken about my job. Would appreciate something encouraging.

    • I’m so sorry! I can’t imagine how stressful that must be. Even if the other two jobs aren’t ideal, maybe you can just view them as a way to stay afloat while you get your bearings as a new parent and investigate the possibility of going solo?

    • hoola hoopa says:

      I’m so sorry :(

      As a success story, I was laid off during one of my maternity leaves and in the end I landed the perfect job at my dream company. I wish I could have gotten the outcome without the stress, but I was thankful for the must-needed push. I hope your new opportunities work out as well for you!

    • One of my talented coworkers was laid off freshly back from maternity leave during the great purges of 2009. Like you, not her fault, just a cash flow issue with the firm. I think she was a third year at the time. She used her severance and unemployment to spend a few weeks figuring out her plan of attack, and had a new job within two months that was a better commute. She’s kicking booty at that firm still. Hang in there!

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