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My son received an older version of this wooden activity cube. It was the perfect toy for those few months when he was able to sit and pull up to stand.
This cube features five sides of fun, including spinners, a zig-zag racetrack (his favorite), bead maze, doors to open and close, and mix-and-match animal puzzles. It’s weighty enough to support your baby pulling up on it, and the corners are rounded for the inevitable tumbles.
For parents, there’s no assembly or annoying sounds. A win-win!
The Battat Wooden Activity Cube is $59.99 at Amazon.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Short Luteal Phase? says
TTC another child over the past few months. We have been doing every other day and timing with ovulation test with no luck. This method worked for #1 very quickly. When tracking my cycles, I noticed my luteal phase is only a week. Ovulate on day 21/22 of a 28 day cycle. Anyone had this problem before and managed to go on to conceive? Dr google says it can be much more difficult, and I’m wondering if this is our case. I know this is an “ask your actual doctor” situation, but I have a feeling they will tell me to keep trying and come back later. Looking for anecdata if it’s even worth calling about.
Lise says
I’m sorry, I hate to be alarmist, but I had this exact same pattern, and it was a sign of problems. I would consult your doctor and ask about at least trying progesterone support for the luteal phase, in case that’s the only issue. (That was step 1 for me, and while it didn’t even prolong my luteal phase by longer than a day, the fact that it didn’t work helped to identify some other issues, so it was at least a productive experiment.)
AwayEmily says
I had a super short luteal phase and did indeed go onto conceive (3x). It took over a year the first go-round and what helped me was switching from peeing-on-stick to getting the fancy ovulation tracker (ClearBlue Advanced Digital). It seemed to work a lot better at pinpointing the best days on my kind of wonky cycle — the “advanced digital” version gives you both high and “peak” days. It is expensive, though.
Anon says
Just here to say that sometimes second kids take a while. They will still likely make you keep trying for 12 months if you are under 35 or 6 months if over. We got pregnant on the first cycle with DD. For our second, took 9 months of trying then a miscarriage (9w), and now we are at 21 months after that of trying (through a covid year which has been incredibly stressful as I am sure you all know) and still not pregnant. OB has run tests that show everything is normal, ovulating normally, etc. We’re deciding if we want a second kid enough to go through the rigamorale of fertility treatment or if we are willing to just keep going ourselves knowing that we’ve gotten pregnant twice before and see what happens and be happy with our only (who is now 4) if that’s where we land.
Anon says
Isn’t that a sign you may need progesterone? I would call a fertility doc, assuming your insurance lets you. None of the centers in my area required a waiting period. It seems like you may have found a complicating factor so why wait to seek help.
Anonymous says
I’m not sure mine was actually short, but Fertility Friend was warning me it was. (I can’t remember how many days it was). But I then got pregnant on the 3rd month.
anon says
I’m normally not into “natural” medicine, but in a similar situation, I started taking Vitex as a supplement because I figured I didn’t have anything to lose. I got pregnant two cycles later.
Anon says
It is great that you are tracking and identifying this. Ideally a luteal phase should be at least 10 days to support a pregnancy – 12 days is even better – and if you are using ovulation sticks, the luteal phase begins 1-2 days after the positive LH test. Often a short luteal phase is a sign of low progesterone (do you also have spotting before your period starts? That’s another common sign). I agree with finding a doctor who will consider prescribing a supplement.
anonn says
My OB did not agree with every other day, he said every day, at least. Got pregnant the next cycle.
anon says
Does anyone feel like they are the ones initiating more in friendships? How much do you initiate if the other person doesn’t as much, and at what point do you stop initiating as much? I feel like in a lot of my friendships, I am the one initiating to make sure we see each other every month or so etc. Or I guess this brings the question, How much do you see friends vs. communicate via text/social media/etc? Maybe people are too busy these days to see friends in person. I feel like a lot of people are very eager to initiate conversation via text but not as much to hang in person.
Anon says
I see friends probably once every other month in person, but we text (usually) or call or video chat (less frequent) regularly. With a BigLaw job, husband, a preschooler, a house and yard and semi local family, there just isn’t a lot of time for friends who are also busy with their own things. And I’m OK with that. I’m also an introvert.
anon says
I feel like a crap friend because I don’t see my friends that much, but I’ve had a harder time seeing friends in person between an extrovert husband (I’m not), covid + kids who seem to always be getting colds, etc. and avoiding larger groups/too many kids at play dates because covid/colds, DH travels for work so those weeks I plan next to nothing outside the basic routine, etc. etc. My mom is a classic extrovert with a huge network of friends and she is always reminding me that there are different seasons of life and sometimes you have to be the one initiating for years on end because of what a friend is going through. It is usually not personal if they just aren’t reaching out.
Anon says
Yes, often. I’ve realized some people are happy to hang out with others but simply are not initiators or in some cases are even nervous/uncomfortable about being the one to reach out. It’d be nice if it was a 50/50 split. I try to tell myself that if someone doesn’t want to see me they’ll either come up with a reason to decline plans or not respond, so as long as they keep accepting invitations I will keep extending them.
I see my casual neighborhood friends once a week or so because we just happen to run into each other outside or we make a plan to meet at the playground or whatever. My older/deeper friendships, I probably only see those friends a couple times a month at most. I do think that between household work, family obligations, careers, etc it is hard to line up schedules.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I have a few close friends, all of whom don’t live in my state, although one is about an hour away. I see that one maybe once every two months now. The others I text or fb message with. Sometimes video chat. It’s hard to see people in person now because of the phase of life we’re in (small kids, work) and also covid. I’m ok with mostly catching up via text. Maybe things will be different in a few years but I don’t feel the need to see friends monthly (it would give me too much stress to plan I think). I’m also an introvert and prefer one on ones with friends versus a big get together.
Do you feel like you’re missing connections or do you just have an expectation that friends see each other every month? Because the latter I think is very difficult in this phase of life.
Anon says
Similar situation here – my close girlfriends are across the country. Pre-pandemic we emailed pretty regularly (maybe every few weeks) and did occasional video chats, and we saw each other in person roughly once a year (we used to live in their area and my husband’s job takes us back frequently so we did most of the visiting). For the first…six? months of the pandemic we probably talked more often, especially over videochat, but things have really fallen apart and I haven’t been in contact with them much recently. My best friend has other major life stresses right now in addition to the pandemic (terminally ill parent). I reach out to her regularly but I don’t get much response, understandably. We have couple friends ~two hours away with a same age kid that we saw maybe once or twice a year pre-pandemic. We visited them (indoors) early in the summer once adults were vaccinated and numbers were way down. But both families are cautious and with unvaxxed kids at home we won’t see them again until kids are vaxxed. We discussed an outdoor meetup, but it never happened.
Locally, I know a bunch of moms but I wouldn’t call them friends. We only see each other with our kids and with the pandemic have only been meeting outdoors and even then infrequently. Once kids are vaxxed, I would like to try to invite preschool classmates + their moms over for indoor playdates and try to actually get to know the moms and make friends. It’s hard for me to talk to other moms at the playground because my kid is very cautious and wants a lot of hands-on help using playground equipment. It’s not about needing me or preferring adult company – if she’s in a house with a bunch of toys, she’ll run off to play with the other kid and leave the moms in peace – but because of her lack of physical confidence at the playground she wants me next to her at all times. I attended one outdoor meetup of a local moms club this summer and it was a disaster. Part of it is that I’m awkward in large groups (I’m much better one on one) but a lot of it was that the playground setting meant my kid wouldn’t leave my side so I was just with my kid while all the other moms were gabbing. Indoor playdates are so much more fun for both my kid and me, and I long for the days when we can have them again.
anon says
Ok, solidarity on the clingy kiddo! My DS has done this at every preschool event — field trip, end-of-year picnic etc. But add some crying. Don’t really know any preschool parents because of that + covid/outdoor drop offs. He too will play independently at home just fine.
No Face says
I was basically never the initiator, and it hurt my friends’ feelings. But it had absolutely nothing to do with them! I just never managed to complete everything on my incredibly long to do list, and that list included “setting up times with friends” after all my family and work obligations. I am better now.
Effective strategies for getting together more in person:
1) Ask to see them at a specific, date time and place, at least a month in the future. So not “let’s get together soon” but ” do you want to get together on Friday, November whatever?” Then the responses are more “That Friday doesn’t work for me, how about Saturday” and less “I miss you!”
2) When you are together, get out your calendar apps and book the next friendship date.
anon says
I do so much of the initiating that I wonder if I need coaching on how to socialize because I get so few invitations.
However, most friends are happy to get together. I think it might just be stage of life and state of the world.
Anon says
I think everyone feels this way! This question comes up all the time. Doesn’t make it easier, but you’re certainly not alone.
AwayEmily says
I have officially entered the I-am-always-uncomfortable phase of pregnancy and am on the hunt for the MOST comfy maternity leggings and/or joggers. All types welcome: workout, lounge, fleece, whatever — as long as they are maximally comfortable. I have plenty of maternity work pants left over from previous pregnancies but everything else seems to have vanished and so I’ve just been re-wearing a single ratty old pair of Old Navy maternity leggings. Thank you!!!
Anon says
Motherhood maternity leggings are $10 and sort of see through but SO comfortable that I didn’t care. I had four pairs.
Anonymous says
YES!
GCA says
The last time I was pregnant was 2018, but I seem to remember my Ingrid & Isabel (their Target line, in fact already purchased secondhand) maternity workout leggings being the most comfortable thing I had. They had a crossover back and a belly panel.
Anon says
Just bought full panel Gap maternity leggings – super soft and supportive
Anon says
I didn’t actually own any leggings prior to pregnancy (I know, I know…) but I bought a few pairs of Lululemon Align leggings during my 2nd trimester and wore them all throughout the rest of my pregnancy, postpartum, and still wear them almost-daily at 11 months postpartum. At least in my experience, they were extremely comfortable and did not permanently stretch out from pregnancy. Pricey, but worth it! They’re still in great shape and I’ll have them for baby #2.
Lise says
Second this. I bought my pre-pregnancy size around 15 weeks and wore it until like 30-ish weeks, then switched to one size up. They were fantastic.
Ashley says
Just bought OldNavy maternity leggings with pockets! I love them and the pockets are must for me… I’m uncomfortable and can’t be bothered to search the house for my phone.
Book character day at school says
Suggestions for preschool’s dress your kid as a book character day? I am not crafty nor do I have the time. Would love something warmish so 3YO son could wear this as his Halloween costume.
Anonymous says
Where’s Waldo? Order red & white shirt and hat – done!
Anonymous says
My kids would go as Fancy Nancy or Madeline. My kid went as Amelia Bedelia last year in 1st grade.
More boy-ish ideas:
Danny (and the dinosaur)
A vehicle from Good Night Good Night Construction Site
A llama in red pajamas
Man in the yellow hat/curious George
Charlie Brown
Anonymous says
Cat in the Hat
one of the kids from Ladybug Girl (I think the boy is a bee?)
the dragon from Dragon Loves Tacos (dragon costume + taco or perhaps mild salsa jar)
Mike Mulligan
The police officer from Make Way for Ducklings (cop + many stuffed ducks and a thick Boston accent. Billy club and sweet 1950s mustache optional.)
Anon says
Purple and white striped top (Hanna PJs) and blue jeans and holding a taco shells box equals the kid from Dragons Love Tacos
Anon says
Make him a crown out of yellow construction paper and send him to school in his pj’s or some white clothes. If you must, a construction paper tail. He can be that kid from Where the Wild Thing Are. I’ve seen those costumes at stores like pbkids and maybe target. Or buy him one of those Patagonia fleeces with a bear ears on the hood and he can be some bear from a book, like that brown bear book by Eric Carle.
Anon. says
Pete the Cat was a favorite here: dress navy blue from head to toe with red shoes.
You can add a yellow shirt with 4 colorful buttons cut from paper if you like. For a Halloween costume, I also glued blue triangle ears from construction paper on an animal ears headband and did some cat nose face paint – done.
Anon. says
I know you said you are not crafty, but this literally took 10 min and a glue gun. For face paint, I used one of my eyeliner pencils.
Anonymous says
I thank my lucky stars that my son does not like costumes and opts out of all “spirit” days.
You could do an elephant or pig costume for Elephant and Piggie from Mo Willems’ books.
AwayEmily says
What I would do if it were my kid would be to look through a book to find a character wearing something he already had (e.g. jeans and a green hoodie), then casually get out that book and get him all excited about being that character (“WOW his outfit is awesome! wait, don’t you have something like that already? Do you want to wear THAT to school? you could even bring your book to show people!). Minimal work.
anon says
+1 on something already in the wardrobe. I’m opposed to things like this that are extra work for moms and not that valuable to children.
Anonymous says
My child is obsessed with chickens. Target sells a chicken costume. Chicken for Halloween and Chicken Little for Book Character day. Done and kiddo was happy.
An.On. says
Blue footie PJs to go as Harold & Purple Crayon?
Anon says
Seraphine 3-in-1 zip hoodie. Look for a coupon. Yes it is expensive, but it is so comfortable & I still wear it all the time postpartum. Definitely got my money’s worth. https://www.seraphine.com/en-us/connor-3-in-1-active-hoodie/
Anon says
Nesting fail! This is for AwayEmily’s maternity wear question.
Anonymous says
Fave books for ~8 year old (2nd grade) girls? Mine proclaimed all her books to be “too easy” last night, and she’s right. But the next books we have are really more “read with” not read-to-self level (Narnia, Harry Potter).
I sent her teacher a request too. I’m thinking the Dahl books and similar? A series would be great. She’s a strong reader; her limitation is really vocabulary at this point. We got her a dictionary and she can use it but I don’t want her to have to look up every other word.
anne-on says
Has she read the magic tree house books? My kid got super into those at around that age. Our local library also had a lot of ‘mystery’ books that were a hit – the calendar mysteries, the boxcar children, the a-z mysteries. The Beverly Cleary Ramona books are great, and the whole Og the Frog/Humphrey the Hamster books are also good (although, fair warning, this started the campaigning for a hamster at many friends homes).
Anonymous says
OP here. yes, she read those in the beginning of 1st grade. Those are in the “too easy” camp and I think she doesn’t like how mind-numbingly repetitive they are. We have all the boxcar children books from when DH and I were kids and I’m…not a fan of some of the themes especially for her to read alone. Have they been re-done? I’m normally not one to super editorialize but man, Jesse and Violet have to do all the cooking and cleaning while the boys get to go hunt Injuns. When I read them with her we could talk about that stuff and be laughing together at the idea that the boys can’t cook their own food, but reading by herself she won’t get as much.
Anonymous says
and obviously discuss the problematic themes around Native Americans and why on earth their bones are being dug up in caves !!
MBRec says
Babysitters club? I was an advanced reader at her age and I got really into babysitters club!
Anonymous says
Oh, no. Magic Tree House is for brand-new readers only and would be deadly dull for an eight-year-old.
Anon says
Clementine series or Beverly Cleary? Is Babysitter’s Club or BoxCar children or Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys too advanced?
Anonymous says
She has read all the Clementines and some of the Ramona books. The other series are not too hard for her to read, but I don’t know about the themes– that’s part of what I asked her teacher about. I remember all the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff in Nancy Drew and the BSC books and wasn’t sure that’s second grade reading material. she’s my oldest so maybe it is and I just forget how old I was when I started reading them!
Google reminded me Clearly also wrote Mouse and the Motorcycle so I’ll put that on the list! Was thinking also Stuart Little, Charlotte’s web, maybe some of the less twisted Dahl books? I just finished the Witches with one of my other kids and that is probably the right reading level and creepy but not scary.
Anonymous says
The “boyfriend” stuff in the old Nancy Drew mysteries is just that the boyfriend exists and is occasionally part of the mystery-solving team.
Anon says
I’m pretty sure I read BSC starting in second grade. The boyfriend stuff just went over my head, and it’s nothing explicit.
Anon says
My niece likes those Rainbow Magic fairy books and American Girls. There are tons of themed book series for girls, I bet you can find one related to whatever she likes (sports, horses, gymnastics, etc). She might not care if they’re “easy” if she like the material in the books or if they’re about older kids like The Babysitter’s Club. Or maybe it’d be worth letting her loose at the library to see what she picks out.
Anon says
Oh I think Little House books are also good for that age, though may require discussion. Also those “Dear America” books that are historical fiction about the Titanic or whatever and the Never Girls books are also super popular.
Anonymous says
Rainbow magic books are “too easy” but they were a favorite in the past! We do have lots of the AG books and agree they are great. She’s done most of the basic/classic AG ones so I guess maybe we branch into the girl of the years?
Anon says
Would she like Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfield and the rest of those books? I think they’re a little harder but still fun.
Anon Lawyer says
Those are so good and hold up so well – I’m always delighted when someone recommends them. They’re so feminist too – all about girls and women following their dreams and supporting themselves and each other.
Anon says
+1 to the American girls books although there’s some tough vocab.
My seven year old has been racing through the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.
Tea/Coffee says
My recollection of exactly when DD read these / was into these might be slightly off, but these were big hits:
-Ivy and Bean series
-Whatever After series
Charlotte’s Web, Mathilda, James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (bonus, they have movies)
Vocabulary wise, my kids both have issues with anything vaguely “old” – some of the word usage, and some of the references, make zero sense to them.
anon says
Last year my 7 yo (2nd grader) read lots of Magic Treehouse, Land of Stories, Roald Dahl, Geronimo Stilton, Harry Potter books 1-3, Warriors series, Princess Mirror-belle, Wings of Fire series, Whatever After series, and Mouse and the Motorcycle series.
Anon. says
What about Astrid Lindgren or Michael Ende books? (I’m European so these are favorites there.)
Pippi Longstocking, Ronia, Karlsson on the roof, … The Night of Wishes, Jim Button…
Anon says
Allie Finkle’s Rules for Girls
Anonymous says
Sisters 8 series, which is about 7-8 year old octuplets. The series covers their birthday year and each girl has a book and gets a superpower.
Anonymous says
Since you said she’s a strong reader, I wouldn’t shy away from HP (she’s definitely ready for the first book, vocabulary wise) or Narnia (I have to look up his phrases sometimes: his combination of Britishisms and made up words are just challenging).
Books I recommend (I’m an Old, obviously):
Where the Red Fern Grows
Little House on the Prairie
Jim Grey of Moonbah
Island of the Blue Dolphins
Caddie Woodlawn
Stuart Little
Trumpet of the Swan
Matilda (I found most of Dahls other work too creepy, though I read both James and Charlie)
BSC and Nancy Drew are great fluff reads. I would imagine she would quickly tire of the formulaic nature of them though.
What about the Redwall series? I didn’t read it but my brother was obsessed.
Your library may have a reading list by grade or other, more modern, suggestions.
Anonymous says
We have read Harry Potter 1 and half of 2 together. I’m dragging it out because I know she’ll want to read them all and the later books are so dark! She can read them but enjoyed them more when we read them together.
anon says
These are all good – some more middle grade classics beloved by 80s babies:
-The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil. E Frankwiler
-Zilpha Keatley Snyder’s stuff, especially The Changeling and The Egypt Game
-Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry
Anonymous says
I just read mixed up files to my early elementary kid and while she enjoyed it, it was over her head in some ways (the literary structure is kind of complex) and might be good to wait a year for a self-read book, based on your description.
How about the Borrowers series?
Anonymous says
Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry was part of my 7th grade Reading curriculum. (I remember because I couldn’t stand that teacher, and she called it “Roth-mick” for short.) Thematically, it’s a lot for 2nd grade.
What about My Side of the Mountain, Hatchet, Woodsong/Dogsong, and other adventure stories?
Gordon Korman and Jerry Spinelli are other middle grade authors I remember liking. Just about everything by Lois Lowry is good. Gregor the Overlander is the middle grade series by Suzanne Collins, and is pretty fun. Totally has some WWII parallels, but the characters are all small talking mammals, so a kid probably wouldn’t see them. Redwall? My 8 year old is loving that right now.
I also remember reading a book called Baby Island approximately 50x. It’s about some girls who get shipwrecked on a deserted island with some babies and is probably incredibly stupid, but was right up my bossypants alley around that age.
+ a million to everyone suggesting just taking her to the library to browse.
EDAnon says
In terms of getting bored of fluff, I have always been a very advanced reader and still read like all of the BSC. I liked the characters and it kept me reading!
Curious says
If Redwall suits, then Chronicles of Narnia as well!
Anonymous says
FWIW, many many kids in my daughter’s class read Narnia and Harry Potter in second grade. I was worried that Harry Potter would be too scary, but it was fine. The early books in the series are at a pretty easy reading level and the plots are not too convoluted to keep track of. The illustrated editions may be more appealing.
For something slightly less challenging, Roald Dahl, Betsy-Tacy, and Humphrey the hamster are all great.
Anonymous says
Middle grade literature is where to look for this age group and reading level. Here are a few of my daughter’s favorite middle grade books:
The One and Only Ivan
The Penderwicks series
Flora and Ulysses
The Phantom Tollbooth
A Wrinkle in Time
The Thing About Jellyfish (themes may be too sophisticated for an 8-year-old to fully grasp)
Out of My Mind (also contains more sophisticated themes but my daughter’s second-grade class read and discussed it together with success)
Spy School series
Masterpiece
The Inquisitor’s Tale (big theme is perspective/reliability of multiple narrators, also fun if you ever studied Chaucer)
The Percy Jackson and His Dark Materials series are also popular.
DLC says
I loved The Inquisitor’s Tale. Such a great book. Adam Gidwtiz’s other stuff is great too, although a little on the dark side.
Anonymous says
I love His Dark Materials, but be aware that it has some overtones that could be interpreted as anti-religious, particularly anti-Catholicism. Some of my strongly religious friends were offended by it.
Curious says
Wrinkle in Time may be a little dark for an 8 year old? They kept me from reading it til I was 10.
DLC says
Elise Primavera wrote some fun books- I loved Ms. Rapscott’s Girls and it’s sequel- about a quartet of girls at a very unusual boarding school.
Others that I like:
How to Train Your Dragon series is hilarious.
Lola Levine series
Year of the Dog, Year of the Rat, and Dumpling Days by Grace Lin
Cilla Lee Jenkins books.
FVNC says
+1 to How to Train Your Dragon. It’s the current favorite of my 8 year old, advanced reader daughter
Jenny says
Anything by Kit Pearson (Awake & Dreaming and The Sky is Falling are my faves).
Barthe Declements (The Fourth Grade Wizards)
A secret garden/A little princess
Judy Blume
Barbara Park
Anonymous says
+1000 to Kit Pearson and all the reccos above.
Also Anne of Green Gables.
I didn’t like them but my sister was “ok” with them and my brother loved the Redwall series. (maybe a little older than 8 though).
and sigh…… the babysitters club (I get why my mom cringed when I devoured them around that age).
anon says
I have an advanced reader who read Redwall as a 2nd grader/7 yo last year. She enjoyed it, but on reflection I think it would be better for a 5th-8th grader. She didn’t have the context for a lot of the references (monks / abbeys / friars / religious imagery) or vocabulary. I read some parts with her and had to look up words even I didn’t know. It’s not an easy book.
Anonymous says
I read Little Women at that age – the unabridged version should keep her busy for a while :) It was the first “grown-up” book I ever read. Anne of Green Gables would be another great option.
Ollie says
Enid Blyton – Famous five or Secret Seven series. If she likes them, they’ll keep her busy because there are tons.
anon says
+1 My 2nd grader loved the Faraway Tree books. So fun.
FYI – the modern publishings have cleaned up some of the more objectionable issues with the initial versions, so I’d make sure you’re reading an edited version.
Anon Lawyer says
I’d ask your local librarian. But what about checking out some graphic novels? Those can help bridge reading level/vocabulary gaps because the pictures give a clue. My niece is obsessed with the Amulet series. I know a lot of girls also love the ones by Raina Telgemeier.
Otherwise, an 8-year-old girl I knew who was a voracious reader absolutely loved the Warrior Cats series. They sounded completely ridiculous from an adult perspective but she could not get enough of them. She was also a big fan of Goddess Academy books, which I gather involved Greek goddesses at boarding school or something.
Anon Lawyer says
Oh, also, some of Tamora Pierce’s books are good for younger kids – check out the Circle of Magic books.
Anonymous says
I recommend strongly against graphic novels for strong, eager readers. My kid got sidetracked by graphic novels and eventually didn’t want to bother to read any real books. I think graphic novels are their own valid form of narrative expression and worthy of appreciation and contemplation by adults, but for kids they are like junk food that displaces real food because it’s more appealing.
Anon Lawyer says
My understanding is that the research doesn’t back that up (which is part of why it’s worth talking to a librarian about recs in general – they should be up on that).
Anonymous says
I guess my kid didn’t read the research, then!
Anon Lawyer says
Or the causation and correlation aren’t what they appear to be. Shrug. Obviously everything varies from kid to kid but if you’re going to say graphic novels are “junk food” for kids, that suggests broader application.
Anonymous says
Cite the actual research, please. All I am finding is “expert opinion” from teachers and librarians.
Anon Lawyers says
I mean, the problem on this stuff is you’re either relying on summaries from experts (which is what I do because I am not one) or analyzing the research yourself, which you can probably do better than I can (because again, I am not an expert). But the librarians and teachers I know actually do stay up to date on this even though I guess you don’t think they “count.”
But this looks like it has a lot if you want to dig into primary sources: http://www.visuallanguagelab.com/papers.html
This cites some more accessible sources as well as some peer-reviewed papers: https://www.ctd.northwestern.edu/blog/research-behind-graphic-novels-and-young-learners
Anon says
Putting in a plug for the Bobsey Twins series!
Curious says
Oh yes these are wonderful.
Fallen says
My 8 year old loves the dork diaries, ivy bean, Amelia bedelia, descendants books/mals diary, diary of a wimpy kid. She was OK with harry potter and babysitters club but didn’t love.
Anon says
Can you take her to the library and have her browse for something that looks good to her?
EB0220 says
Yes, I was going to suggest Roald Dahl. My 2nd grader read James and the Giant Peach in class and is now gobbling up the rest of them. She also really likes Thea Stilton’s books. Magic Tree House books are still a fave although they are in fact too easy. I only let her get those from the library. At this stage I feel like her reading ability exceeds her interests. I don’t care what level she reads as long as she’s happy so sometimes we just ask the librarian for recommendations.
Marshmallow says
Tips on helping a 2.5 yo through being scared of going to sleep alone? She’s always been a great sleeper for her age, one of those “toss in the crib and leave” kids, but over the past couple of months she’s regressed. She cries when we leave the room and will only lay in her crib calmly if me or my husband is sitting in the chair next to her crib. Sometimes it takes her an hour to fall asleep, so we’re losing a huge chunk of our night and I know this can’t be a good habit for her.
She can sort of explain that she’s scared to be alone in her room. Sometimes she tells me she’s afraid of lions, or thunder (even when there is no rain or thunder that night). We’ve told her a bunch of things that seem like they should be reassuring (lions live in the zoo, let’s set the alarm and the lions can’t get in, the thunder goes away when you fall asleep, mommy and daddy are always in the house and always keeping you safe) but nothing seems to be working. Is this just a phase she needs to grow out of? Any suggestions for books to read or ways to have this conversation?
Anon says
She sounds fairly verbal so i would maybe talk with her about what you can do to make her room feel more cozy/less scary for her. Around that age we had to introduce a nightlight. Also- my kids still very much napped at 2.5 but could she be getting too much daytime sleep?
Anonymous says
1. A talisman. “This is a magic teddy bear/blanket/night light. It keeps all lions and thunder away while you sleep!”
2. Lights. One of my kiddos sleeps with his overhead light on very dimly and a salt lamp as a night light. Is it like broad daylight at 9PM? Yep. He also falls asleep within minutes and sleeps all night.
IME nighttime fears are not logical. My very logical child responded better to a “magic flashlight” that keeps him safe than he did to forty explanations that “Dad and I are here to keep you safe. No bad guys can get in. Thunder can’t hurt you.”
One last suggestion is yours might be ready to drop a nap so s/he doesn’t take an hour to fall asleep, but you know your kid best.
Good luck!
Anon says
My 3.5 year old, also a great sleeper, went through this phase recently where she had a nightmare about a gorilla and was then TERRIFIED to be in her room alone at bedtime. After a rough week, she asked me to “call the jungle keeper” and ask them to keep the gorillas in the jungle and not send them to our house. I called a friend in front of her (I knew I couldn’t fake it; my kid’s too smart) and told her to keep the gorillas in the jungle and IT WORKED. I truly didn’t think it would but bedtime has been painless ever since. Maybe this would help with the lions piece?
We have a saying that we repeat to provide reassurance at bedtime: “home is safe”. She’s been asking me to leave the light on outside her room and I do, until I go to bed. I also used Pinhole Press to make a photo book of pictures of her with Dad and I to provide extra reassurance and love at bedtime. She loves it and sleeps with it every night.
Anonymous says
Calling the jungle keeper is the cutest thing ever!
anon says
My son responded well when we got a plug-in nightlight with a dimmer switch so he could control how bright it is.
Anonymous says
New kindergarten mom support group check-in: how are we all doing? how are the kids?
Mine seems to have finally gotten into a bit of a groove. She’s young for her grade and still working on self-awareness stuff…and seems to have made a big breakthrough, realizing that when she’s raging, she’s tired/hungry. She’s caught herself mid-explosion and calmed down or gotten a grown up, and has become way more amenable to eating. Our AM routine is that i wake her up at 6:30 with a 5 minute snooze, go back in at 6:35 with a banana and feed it to her as she gets dressed. Then she goes to the bathroom, then downstairs for more breakfast (muffin, pancake, that sort of thing), hair, brushes teeth downstairs, gets shoes on (I sometimes will place them on her feet as she eats), coat and mask on and out the door at 7:10 to catch the bus.
She’s been a lot better about bedtime and has pretty consistently been asleep before 8 which is something she had not been able to do her entire life. She has afterschool activities twice a week and soccer and dance on the weekend, which seems to be enough but not too much.
The good news is that she really loves her teacher and kindergarten in general. She’s a bright kid and I think she’s just loving the constant learning. I’m not sure how she’s doing on the social side of things, but she seems happy.
My new challenge is my 2nd grader, who is a real life Judy Moody these days and can’t get out of her own way to get to bed on time. But this one I can handle!!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Honestly, we’ve still been struggling at night, right before bedtime. My K-er gets into these states where he can’t control his body and lashes out at us, particularly during the bath. I know it’s because he’s been holding it in all day at school and he’s exhausted and we’re trying everything we can to help (snack in the car, playtime when getting home, then early bedtime – aim for 7), but still he acts out. And we’re also our most tired at that 6:30/7 hour so patience is thin. I think he’s doing fine at school, at least I haven’t heard anything negative from his teacher. Not sure where he is socially but he seems happy when talking about school. He’s a sensitive kid though so I worry for the day when other kids exclude him. I think that will break my heart a little bit (yeah, these might be my own issues from my childhood…)
Anonymous says
OP here- that’s the same problem we’ve been fighting. Have you tried more food?
Another thing that helped is outside time. Walks have been good because it gets out energy and is a time to talk in a no-pressure way.
Our kiddo’s teacher is a perfect fit for her and does a LOT of calming techniques which I think has really helped. She blew me away the other day saying “You know, I’m tired. I’m so, so tired. I just can’t get myself to sleep. You know what mom? I think I just need to relax here in bed. That might help.” I almost fell over.
Cb says
My 4 year old is moody, moody after full days. Last night, I facetimed him while my husband made dinner and then they ate and he cried for a few minutes because I didn’t save the trayback we had bought at Starbucks 4 weeks ago. He had eaten 1 of the 3 while we were waiting for the train and thought the rest were around somewhere? Once he got that out, he was fine. He falls asleep in the car and is much better on train days
, so suspect they’ll be getting the train from now on.
AwayEmily says
She’s doing better than I expected — the best thing we did was to set up a playground playdate over the weekend with a classmate and that increased her confidence/excitement by a TON. I think there’s not as much time to just play in kindergarten (as opposed to preschool) so making friends is tougher. I’m learning to be more aggressive with getting other parents’ numbers (not my normal MO).
In terms of the tired thing — in the afternoons she usually takes an hour to just listen to audiobooks or have her babysitter read to her, and I think that’s helping. We are doing no activities and just keeping things really chill. One of us also puts her to bed early a couple of times a week (aka earlier than her still-napping little brother, with whom she shares a room — she doesn’t LOVE it because of FOMO but we sweeten the deal by reading to her/talking for awhile and then laying in the bottom bunk til she falls asleep).
Time off says
Has anyone left the legal field after kids and then come back after a year or two? I am currently big law and feel like I am at a breaking point. I keep telling myself I am going to stay until bonuses get paid (Jan.) but kind of want to quit after that even if I don’t have another opportunity (ideally a 9-5ish type job) lined up yet. If you’ve done this, what was your experience getting back into the market like?
anon says
This sounds like a bad idea. Hire more help, go reduced hours at your firm, and job search like mad.
Anon says
I left biggish law for several years after having my kid, and just came back earlier this year to go in house. When I left the law firm, i was sure I didn’t want partnership track, but also didn’t know what I wanted – government, in house, non profit? I also was thinking about switching from litigation to corporate work, and it’s been so wonderful to be back at work, in-house and not doing litigation. I’m making less $ than I was as a mid-level associate when I left, but i’m in house now, and was able to bridge the gap on my resume so I didn’t care.
I will say it took a while (over a year, during covid) to find a job. I was able to get some first interviews, but only a couple moved to the next stages. I applied via LinkedIn and indeed (was too embarrassed to ask ex-colleagues I hadn’t been in touch with while at home)
anon says
At my old BigLaw firm, a few women who went out as associates came back as staff attorneys (one after an in-house stint when her employer relocated out of state and one after a few years off work with children). I’m sure they make a lot less money, but their hours are generally fixed. I believe each has a high-earning spouse to offset the sting of not being on the associate scale. I think they each view it as keeping their foot in the door and knowledge and skills up to date. They were well-liked by their respective department chairs so reached out directly when they were ready and were welcomed back on those terms.
Anon says
Reposting from last night (thanks Lilibet for your response):
WWYD? My almost 4 year old’s daycare bestie invited us to an outdoor birthday party, her first birthday party invite ever (and this kid is the #1 person she’ll want at her own party in a couple of months). We have had outdoor playdates with this kid but I believe there will be some neighborhood friends who aren’t in our “school bubble” at the party, which is giving me pause. But my husband pointed out that our school bubble isn’t really a “bubble” because each of my kid’s classmates have siblings and parents and friends and activities so we’re actually exposed to way more people than just her 15 classmates, and the risk of getting infected at school is objectively much higher (8+ hours indoors vs. 1-2 outdoors).
On the one hand, I would feel awful if my kid got a potentially debilitating virus from a preschool party she isn’t even going to remember in a year. On the other hand, school is objectively riskier and I am so tired of cutting literally everything fun out of our lives (she does not do activities or go anywhere indoors or do any socialization outside of school, except outdoor playdates with classmates) to shave off a tiny amount of risk when we’ve already accepted the comparatively large risk of school.
Ahhhhhh. The never-ending risk assessment is destroying me. Please tell me what to do.
Anonymous says
Yes, I would let your 4 year old go to an outdoor birthday party. That said, I also allow my kids to go to playgrounds unmasked, which is objectively the same risk.
If you are really nervous, could you allow her to go but make her wear a mask?
Anon (OP) says
Yes, we would have her mask for sure, although I doubt anyone else will be. Most people here don’t wear masks at playgrounds, but we also don’t get super close to people we don’t know – I think a birthday party would involve much closer contact than we typically have at a playground. But I agree playground is not zero risk and we let her do that.
EDAnon says
We did an outdoor birthday party and did require masks. We also only invited school friends to maintain some semblance of a bubble. We put all this on the invitation. If you know the other family’s contact info, you could ask about the plan.
That being said, I would plan to go. But if the weather is bad, we would not go. That actually happened to us. A thunderstorm rolled in right at the party start time so we didn’t take our kiddos.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I consider outdoor anything to be much safer and less risky than indoor things now. We’ve gone to several outdoor birthday parties in the last few months. Is it completely risk-free? No, but for us, it’s worth it. We also go to playgrounds unmasked.
Anonymous says
You are in MA though (as am I). We are…not the rest of the country ;). My kids’ school does weekly pool testing, has test-and-stay protocols, the whole shebang. I literally know that this week, as of Wednesday, there is not one case of COVID in my kids’ elem school because they have a 98% participation rate in the pool testing and the 2% that don’t participate are high risk SPED kids that are tested separately, daily, by their parents.
NYCer says
+1. I would have no issue going to this birthday party.
OP, I would expect that most kids will not be wearing masks at this party (at least based on our experience at outdoor birthday parties). If this is going to cause you unwanted stress, you might want to skip it.
Anon says
Same.
Anonymous says
Omg just go. You don’t have a bubble at all anyway. It’s outside. Kids are low risk. You don’t need to make it this hard.
Anonymous says
I would definitely let her go. As long as you live in a place where the majority of adults are vaccinated, you’re overthinking it. This is about the same risk as going to the playground.
Anon (OP) says
We do not live in a place where most adults are vaccinated, unfortunately. Our state is one of the least vaccinated states in the US, which is a big reason we’ve been so locked down and doing nothing except daycare. I do know the birthday child’s parents are vaccinated.
GCA says
I see where you’re coming from, OP. In MA I would have no trouble at all saying yes to an outdoor birthday party – in fact we attended an outdoor birthday party for my 3yo’s daycare buddy a few weeks back that included said buddy’s extended family, and everyone mostly stayed masked. But with a different base rate of vaccination and general Covid-caution, I might have a different answer. In your shoes I *think* I would be ok with an outdoor event for an hour or two, and I would go and stay masked.
Anon (OP) says
Thanks GCA. I’m leaning towards going masked and not staying for more than an hour or two, but I don’t feel like I’m crazy for questioning whether or not we should go, given our state’s low vax numbers and high case rates (although our city and county are quite a bit better than the state on both fronts).
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I’m in a similar spot – state’s rates aren’t good, but city/county is closer to 70%. I’d guess the parents at my kids school are probably closer to 85-90% vaxxed based on demographics, mask compliance at drop-off/pick-up, and the fact that there has only been 1 COVID breakout in a class since the vaxxes rolled out, and were not common in 2020.
I’d go with masks. We are going to an outdoor birthday party (first one as well!) for a classmate (one I know my son plays with often) in a few weeks.
You can also…ask the host about the vaxxes among the group to get a sense of what you are dealing with. Just a simple “We’re definitely coming, but just so we can plan – do you happen to know if folkx attending are vaxxed? All adults are vaxxed at home, and we’re on the COVID cautious side. Thank you again for the invite – Kid cannot wait!”
anon says
Let her go.
Anon says
An outdoor birthday party seems pretty low risk to me. Also I think I agree with your husband – if someone gets sick then the bff will probably go to school on Monday morning and give it to your daughter anyway. It seems extremely unlikely though. :)
Anon. says
Yep, this.
anon says
This wouldn’t give me any pause, I’d go. And I hear you on how exhausting this all is!
Walnut says
Let her go and don’t spend any more mental energy on this.
DLC says
If you don’t feel comfortable going, could you suggest having a special make up play date with Bestie? We’ve done this before when we had to miss- like treating them to a special zoo trip or what not. (That way we also don’t feel like we have to get a present.)
Also if you feel like it will fill you with anxiety to be there, send your partner.
Don’t underestimate a kid’s ability to remember- My kids definitely remember fun times from when they were four.
FVNC says
Agree with all the comments that I’d let her go (we just had an bday party for my daughter).
One thing to consider: will there be cake or cupcakes? These days, I assume no one is blowing out candles on a cake and then serving slices to guests…but just in case that happens, I recommend preparing your daughter that she won’t be able to eat the cake (assuming you wouldn’t want her to). Maybe bring a backup treat for her.
Anon (OP) says
Maybe I’m gross but we would let her the cake, even if the kid blew on it. I figure we’re exposed to the birthday child already through school (as others pointed out), plus we know his parents are vaccinated, and their family recently had Covid so the odds of this child infecting us seem extremely low. It’s the other exposure to the other kids – who aren’t in our school and whose families may or may not be vaccinated – that was giving me pause, but I think on balance it isn’t a big risk.
Anon says
So I’ve done a lot to try and create an environment where both my husband and I share ‘family’ duties. I’ve done a lot to talk about emotional labor and the unspoken burden that mostly mothers carry.
And I shouldn’t be as proud as I am, but guys: this morning my husband mentioned that he had written the thank you notes from Baby for (thing) and was dropping them in the mail. I didn’t ask. I didn’t nag. He just… did them. Somebody will come on here and tell me ‘we should expect more’, which – agree. But also: today I’m taking this as a triumph for equality in parenting.
Anonymous says
That’s fantastic. Like genuinely – classic example of the kind of PITA task moms get stuck with.
Anonymous says
This makes me so happy. A friend of DH’s writes all the thank yous for their family (I’m fairly certain it still involves nagging from his wife) and hoo boy they are hilarious. Emily Post probably wouldn’t approve of the content but I really enjoy receiving them.
Pogo says
That is actually awesome.
Anon says
Love it!!!
Can I share too… My husband signed up to be room parent and it made me so proud and happy.
EDAnon says
That’s awesome!
EDAnon says
This would be amazing to me. My husband is not from a thank you note kind of family so never did it growing up. If he ever did it without me asking, my mind would be blown.
Anon says
Ugh. What do you do when you and your spouse have very different parenting styles?
We have an 11 week old who I’ll happily cuddle to sleep before transferring to her bassinet, which DH doesn’t agree with. He did bedtime last night which resulted in 30 min of her screaming (and me in tears) before she fell asleep on her own.
I know there’s no one right way to parent, but I don’t know where to find the compromise to give her consistency with bedtime. I’m just not ready to lose the baby snuggles when it’s not a problem for her sleep yet.
Anonymous says
No advice but I hate him and think you should just overrule
Anon says
I think there’s really only two options here, assuming neither parent is doing anything objectively dangerous: 1) you each do your own thing and don’t worry about consistency or 2) you do everything and do it your way. Everyone wants to think there’s an option 3, which is get DH to do it your way, but in my experience that’s an exercise in futility.
We’ve always been a option #1 family and my kid doesn’t seem to have suffered for it.
Anon. says
Agreed.
Anonymous says
This x100. DH and I traded nights with our first. Not saying you have to do that but it worked for us. Did I snuggle baby to sleep? Definitely! Did DH often let baby cry for ten minutes? Also yes (I had to physically go outside sometimes because I couldn’t stand it). Our son is now four years old. He’s intelligent, empathetic, and a good-sleeper. You can do this your way, but it will be lonely and IMO will lead to resentment. I know it’s really hard to watch, but she’s his daughter too. Don’t rob him of the joy (and hardship) of figuring out how to be her dad. It’s so valuable for both of them to experience that connection. I promise she will be ok.
Anon says
Or an option4 which is find a compromise?
OP says
This is really good advice! Thank you!!
Anon says
I’m a bit confused on the different styles here? You want to rock baby to bed and DH wants to just buy baby in the bed? Does she sleep through the night? In retrospect i wish I’d spent a lot more time cuddling my babies to sleep but at the time i was so done by the end of the night/didn’t want to create bad habits and i had twins and so was especially into establishing good sleep habits. Can’t there be some sort of compromise? Like a time limited cuddle? I do think babies thrive on routine and I’m a big believer in establishing good sleep habits early and personally had no interest in a long bedtime routine. But maybe you don’t mind if it takes time to put baby to bed which is fine, but then maybe you need to always do bedtime? I will say that my friends who complained about how their kids wouldn’t sleep through the night when they would spend 45 min rocking their kids to sleep drove me crazy, but that is a me problem
Pogo says
11 weeks is so young! That’s objectively so early for any kind of ‘sleep training’.
Typically DH defers to me on parenting because I do more of the research, but if he has an idea that works, I totally go for it. I will put a hard stop to anything that I feel is unsafe though – like when he wants to change kiddo’s car seat forward facing before it should, for example.
anon says
This. 11 weeks is really young. Get all the cuddles! I am team sleep train but you don’t need to do that so early. As for compromise, cuddle until 95% alseep and then put down. That’s a good sleep habit because they’re falling asleep on their own, but you are still giving them that good bonding cuddle time. I wish I’d ignored my DH who thought DS wasn’t sleeping well because I held him during daytime naps at first; I’m still sad I would set DS down for naps when all my instincts said cuddle cuddle cuddle. (And it’s much harder to have that time if/when #2 comes along.) Also, I’ve had friends whose babies only slept on them for naps for a long time (like, a year!) and you know what — in the words of the mom of 6 I get advice from — if it is not a problem for you (yet) then it is not a problem. When a long bedtime routine gets annoying to you, or starts dragging on, make a change. But 11 weeks is so little that if you want cuddles get them. There are so many big parenting style issues you’ll be tackling in the years ahead, enjoy the cuddles. That all said, my hubs has done a lot of the tougher sleep training periods because I can’t stand the crying but know we are at a point it needs to be done (NOT at 11 weeks; at like a year etc.)
FVNC says
Oh shoot, I read “11 months.” ELEVEN WEEKS? I’m actually a proponent of cry it out / sleep training but that seems WAY too soon. Overrule husband. He is wrong on this one.
Spirograph says
Same. First I thought OP said 11 month, but then when I looked again it was 11weeks. Omg, hold your baby! If you enjoy snuggles, just do it. Physical closeness is still absolutely a need at that point. If your husband doesn’t…let him do his thing or take over (that’s a slippery slope to you doing everything all the time, but I personally would not have let my husband try to let a baby cry it out at that point. Nope nope nope.)
EDAnon says
I agree that this is very young! My husband and I have different styles that were eventually bridged by the kids’ preferences/merging of the styles. But not at 11 weeks.
I also read on here a long time ago to relish in the times when you kids want cuddles and to be carried. Mine are 5 and 3 and I am so glad I listened because they’re so independent now. But I know I got a lot of loving on them done early on!
Anonymous says
It’s hard. We never had any issues with stuff like this because I did all the research and read all the parenting books so he deferred to my opinions, but DH is a much more lax parent than I am which has become a big issue with a preschooler. He basically never makes our child pick up toys or use table manners or tells her she can’t draw on the walls. He puts a stop to anything physical like hitting, but that’s really the extent of his discipline. As a result, he is the fun parent my child adores and I am the mean mommy who makes the rules. My girlfriends and mom tell me that when my child is older she will recognize that my husband did her a disservice by not having any expectations for her behavior beyond “don’t punch people” but in this phase of life, it’s very difficult. She constantly tells me she hates me and loves him and she wishes I would go away so she could live with just her daddy.
OP says
Ouch, that’s so hard. Sending you so much love.
AnonATL says
My husband and I have slightly different parenting styles. I don’t mind mess and loud noise, but I do believe in schedules. My husband doesn’t really follow a schedule, but he doesn’t like a lot of mess and chaos. We’ve both learned to let go, but we agree on things like safety. It’s taken time and is much easier now than as a newborn.
When it comes to sleep training, we had to be on the same page and committed together. It’s so hard to hear the baby cry, and you have to be consistent for it to really work. 11 weeks is maybe a bit younger than recommended, but we sleep trained somewhere around 12/13 weeks with great success.
An.On. says
Trying to do something like CIO should have been agreed on ahead of time by you both. And if he’s not doing it with a plan but just “I think this is how she should be able to sleep” then he’s a b-hole.
I agree with the other commentators, 11 weeks is too young to expect her to self-soothe. I’ve got a four month old that gets rocked to sleep, so maybe I’m biased, but we’re already seeing that she doesn’t need it as much, and I expect it to phase itself out gradually. The other night I just put her to bed straight away after her bath, and it was a little heart breaking. That said, I do the rocking myself every night unless I am absolutely fed up with the baby.
OP says
Thank you all!! Yeah, I think ultimately we will sleep train/cry it out (likely with my husband doing the brunt of it), but I was thinking more like at 4-6 months old. I don’t think I’ll ever be really ready for it but that just seems more age appropriate. Maybe our compromise until then is just accepting that I’m in charge of getting her to sleep until then or need to be out of the house if he’s doing bedtime.
Anon says
I’d suggest calling your pediatrician to get a neutral third party to weigh in. Our pediatrician supported sleep training/CIO but advised us not to start until around 5 or 6 months.
Anonymous says
Your Friday entertainment, courtesy of McSweeney’s:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/this-is-your-kids-school-and-even-though-the-emergency-contact-form-lists-your-husband-we-need-you-the-mom
IHeartBacon says
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was amazing.
“Surely he is doing real work with his muscles or man mind.“ Hysterical!!!
FVNC says
Hilarious!
I thought of this group yesterday though, in the midst of a minor almost-canceled kids dentist appointment. Husband is listed as the contact on kids’ medical stuff because insurance is through him. Dentist called/texted to confirm kids’ appointment with him. Which would have been great, if he were in the country and not in fact on the other side of the world without his cell phone. Why can’t schools, doc offices, etc. just add both numbers/emails, at least to automated communications?
Anonymous says
My daughter is on my husband’s health insurance policy, but I am the one who pays all household bills. The billing office for one medical practice would consistently refuse to talk with me, even just to accept payment over the phone with me giving them the account number and specifying the amount, claiming that HIPAA prevented them from communicating with me because I was not the insurance policyholder. Which made zero sense because under HIPAA the parent is the child’s representative. At one point I even tried naming myself on a HIPAA waiver. Total madness. The people who design these systems don’t seem to understand that kids can have more than one parent.
Anonymous says
Two newbie elem parent questions for you:
1) What grade did homework start for your kiddo?
2) When did your kids start getting letter grades (on either papers or reportcards)
Our school district is highly regarded so I’m not at all questioning their methods–just curious how different we are in having a “no homework until 3rd grade” policy and no grades until 4th grade.
Anon says
No homework until third is a wonderful policy. All the research backs up delaying formal homework and I wish I lived in a district like yours.
We’re no letter grades until fourth but homework starts in K. It’s supposed to be only 10 minutes per night per grade (5-10 minutes in K) but in practice it’s a lot more.
Anonymous says
Homework starts in K. Grades in reading, math, and spelling in grades 2 – 3. Grades in all subjects in grades 4 – 5.
anon says
No homework until grade 2 other than nightly reading. Grade 2/3 homework is fun activities (play a board game, go for a nature walk etc) (and apparently not required this year, which is a relief because it’s time consuming). Grade 4/5 homework is one math sheet a day. Grade 6 homework…not really sure because I haven’t seen anyone do any homework, but supposedly it exists. Letter grades start in grade 6. Public school in CA.
GCA says
Public school in MA in a pretty well-regarded school district, I have a kid in 1st grade and haven’t seen any homework yet. I believe it starts in 2nd, which seems reasonable to me.
Anonymous says
I sure hope there is a time my now first grader needs less sleep because right now I have zero idea how he would possibly do homework. Gets home between 4-4:30, is incapable of doing anything at all between then and dinner (total basket case, maybe this will improve after a few full weeks of school- hasn’t had a full week yet), dinner from approx 5:45-6:15, start getting ready for bed 6:45 ish for lights out 7:35. I guess right after dinner, which right now is dominated by NUTCASE PRESCHOOLER bouncing off the walls and screaming… but half the time we don’t finish dinner till 6:30. I don’t want to be skipping family dinner or bedtime reading for homework!! Side note how the heck do kids do after school activities????
Anon says
Some kids really can’t handle after school activities. It’s highly dependent on personality.
Anon says
Our school does no homework until third grade, although every kid is asked to read for 20 min/day. They get report cards, but they’re of the opportunity/meets/exceeds variety (not sure when they become real letter grades).
My third grader is great at reading at the after-school program. My first grader, not so much. Each kid is in a sport that practices during the week (one day for 1st grader, two days for 3rd grader) – so they don’t read on nights they have practice.
For the one asking about after school activies:
WFH and living one block from school is the only reason they can be in activities. We now get home by 5:05, snack, and one parent takes one kid to practice. The other parent reads with other kid and feeds them at 6:00. Practice kid gets a “sack lunch” they eat on the car in the way home at 6:30. We try to start relaxing for bed by 7:15, lights out by 7:45. That gives them around 11 hours of sleep, which seems to work most nights.
If they had substantial homework I’m not sure that we could do that plus the sports practices, and honestly at these ages I’d write to the teacher about skipping homework before I would skip that free time. Being outside and active is so important, esp after a long day of sitting still at school. Days without practices, we still try to get outside and ride bikes or go for a walk or something, just to get fresh air and move our bodies.
Anonymous says
Well regarded public school in Texas.
No grades until 3rd grade.
We had very light homework in Kindergarten, including math worksheets not finished in class (not collected), nightly reading (parent reading to child), and maybe one project. In first grade we also had weekly spelling tests and daily reading by the child that we had to attest to. There was no homework last year in second grade due to using the same curriculum for at home and in person learning. Third grade has significantly more homework.
Anonymous says
This is amazing, and I’d be all for it. We have weekly homework starting in 1st grade–maybe 5-10 min per night if they follow the recommended schedule–and no letter grades in Montessori school (through 3rd grade).
In our public school there was homework starting in K, but I don’t remember ABC letter grades through at least 1st. Then pandemic and we switched to private for in person.
ELM says
We’re in 2nd and we’ve switched to no homework post-covid, which I love. I assume it’ll start next year, but we may opt out. Research shows homework is not actually useful until middle school. We have no grades until middle school also, which the teachers have said is not helpful. I think 4th seems like a good time to phase that in.
anon says
Friday fun. If you could have dream daycare, budget not an issue, what services would it offer?
-Monday meals – pick up a throw-in-oven, healthy meal at Monday kid pickup
-washes the bedding for you over the weekend
-monthly date night childcare available
-coordinate family photos with school photos so you only have dress the kids up once! (+1 if it is Santa photos so I don’t have to wait in line at the mall)
-kid snacks/meals obviously made on site
Cb says
Ooh the date night childcare, or even date afternoon, definitely. Or a December day so we could do Christmas shopping.
We don’t worry about meals at all, and it is lifechanging. Think we packed a lunchbox for 3 months and he was just scamming food off the table anyways (meals are served family style).
Wait, you have to wash the bedding from naptime? My kid just slept in his buggy but they washed all the bedding onsite for the indoor sleepers. It predated us but they used to have cloth diapers they’d use and wash.
Anonymous says
Picks the kids up from their homes in a van and drops them off at home in the evening.
For after-school care, drops kids off at activities and sports practices (we had this for a while and it was amazing).
Clementine says
OMG door to door transport and they would also floss my kids’ teeth and cut their nails.
anon says
WHY do their nails grow so fast?! lol
Boston Legal Eagle says
Aah yes, the dreaded nail cutting. My 3 year old hates it but his nails grow soo fast. I think they would have a vested interest in doing this so he doesn’t scratch the teachers!
Anonymous says
A whole kid hygiene/spa service — nail trims, haircuts, dentist day…
Anonymous says
Our real-life dream day care was located in a pedestrian-friendly part of a college town. They took the kids out for at least two walks every week for story time at the library and bookstore, the library’s summer entertainment series, to look at farm animals, etc.
anon says
pre-covid ours apparently did swim lessons in the summer at the YMCA next door. I really hope they do it next year. This sounds so great.
Anon says
Pre-Covid our university daycare had faculty visitors on a regular basis, like the astronomy professor parent came to talk about planets, the entomology professor parent came to show the kids insects, etc. They also took the kids around campus on the bus and they got to visit the dorms and science labs, watch the marching band practice, do baton twirling lessons with the cheerleaders, etc.
I’m grateful we still have a safe, fun place to send our kid because I know so many don’t, but I’m definitely missing all the ‘extras’ that I thought would be part of her preschool experience.
Pogo says
Ours does yoga and Spanish class weekly, plus Taekwondo twice weekly. They also wash everything for us (water bottle, nap mat/blankey, swim stuff in the summer – they don’t have a pool but do water play).
Anon says
Yoga and meditation seem to be very common in preschools and elementary schools now. I think it’s great. My dad wouldn’t stop making fun of our preschool when he saw a picture of my 3 year old meditating, but PE would have been sooo much less traumatizing for me if it had been yoga and meditation instead of dodge ball. And I love the recognition that mental health is health!
Anon says
Ooh ready-to-bake meals and family photos would be awesome. The main thing that I want (and our daycare had it pre-pandemic) is class-wide and school-wide events so kids can play and parents can get to know each other. Our school has (had?) a legendary Halloween carnival that was apparently the highlight of the year for the kids, but our family had croup in 2019 and then it’s been canceled for two years because of the pandemic. Fingers crossed it can finally happen next year.
Realist says
*whispers . . . these things used to all happen in communities*
I just see more and more that what my life is missing and why being a mother is so hard is that there is no community. Communities used to share childcare, and meal prep (at least some of it), and tasks like family photos or even laundry. All these things would be done with and shared by the community. The idea that we need to do all this stuff ourselves or pay out the nose to have someone else to do it for us has just broken mothers. You can sort of cobble your own community together through carpools and catering services or fancy childcare that does some of these things, but it is just not the same.
Chl says
+1 to meal service! We had a daycare like that through a partnership with a local catering company and it was great!!
anon says
THIS EXISTS?! omg.
EDAnon says
We have local meal kit delivery (prepared) on Mondays which is great! But my kids love the food from their school so we’d love it if they made us something too!
Play mats says
Any favorite playmate? We have a sisal rug and my son doesn’t like to do puzzles or build on it (fair, and it’s temporary) so looking for something we can lay out as a base for him. I’m tempted by Erin Gates wander and roam mats as we also have a newborn but maybe something foam would be better? Give me a any practical advice because otherwise I’m probably spending too much and going cute.
Coach Laura says
We had a rug like this when my kids were little. $20 can’t be beat. The good thing is that it can go in a kid’s room later over wall-to-wall or other carpet or into a play room. Or roll it up and put it under the bed when not in use. https://www.amazon.com/Kids-Carpet-Playmat-Extra-Large/dp/B07D3F6GP5/ref=asc_df_B07D3F6GP5?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=80058242182144&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4583657821402312&psc=1
Or this one https://www.homedepot.com/pep/TrafficMaster-Town-Life-Multi-3-ft-x-5-ft-Kids-Play-Area-Rug-AGR3656JUVP36/301991524?mtc=Shopping-B-F_D23-B-D23-023_003_AREARUGS_MAT-NA-NA-Feed-PLA_LIA-NA-NA-New_Engen&cm_mmc=Shopping-B-F_D23-B-D23-023_003_AREARUGS_MAT-NA-NA-Feed-PLA_LIA-NA-NA-New_Engen-71700000076270006-58700006509773448-92700060689675007&msclkid=6b39364467d01680d148571e3a88b5a9&gclid=6b39364467d01680d148571e3a88b5a9&gclsrc=3p.ds
Winter coats says
Any suggestions for a maternity winter coat? Did you buy a specific maternity one, or just a larger parka? Seems like a big investment for short period of time. I live in the DC area so will be cold but nit snowy.
Anon says
I didn’t buy one. I’m in the Midwest and had a late February baby so was super pregnant for the worst part of winter. You normally run really hot in late pregnancy so I found that I could usually just wear a regular coat unbuttoned (with scarf, hat, etc.) and I borrowed an old ski jacket of my husband’s when I needed something warmer.
Pogo says
+1 I never bought one and agree hardest thing was any kind of winter sports.
anon says
Check out Makemybellyfit dot com. Loved mine. It was about the same price as buying a maternity specific coat, but I hate being cold and loved getting to still use my normal, very warm winter coat! I’ll hand it down when I’m done with baby-making for sure.
DLC says
I also live in DC and did not buy a maternity for either of my winter pregnancies. I tended to run hot, so I had a maternity vest (from Old Navy, i think) that i either paired with my regular coat worn open, or wore layered over a maternity hoodie. If I had to do it again, though, I would get something that also would work for babywearing. I had the Seraphine ones bookmarked for the longest time with my third but never bought it b/c i couldn’t justify it for my last baby.
AwayEmily says
I live in a very snowy cold area, walk to work, and had babies in January and March (and soon February), so a maternity winter coat was key. I got a parka at H&M and loved it (this was six years ago, though).
Anonymous says
I bought a maternity coat and never wore it because I was always too hot. I just wore a light jacket unzipped with a scarf. Also located in the mid-atlantic.
Anon says
I got a puffer coat – brand was jojo maman – for a winter in nyc with baby due in february and i used it all the time. it wasn’t ridiculously expensive and it was nice to have a workhorse for that specific purpose.
EDAnon says
I am upper Midwest but I went to a thrift store and bought one a couple sizes bigger. But I wasn’t super pregnant in the winter.
Anon says
I got one from Kohl’s last year that was pretty decent. I was more like a light puffer, but I found that was more than enough for mid to late pregnancy.
Anonymous says
In DC, I had a maternity fleece and maternity puffer vest that I could layer if needed (both Old Navy). I get really cold so got a warm coat, too, Kimi and Kai brand from Nordstrom. It was less than a nice non-maternity down coat, and the rest of my maternity stuff was Target/Old Navy-level items, so getting a warm maternity jacket that fit well was worth it for me. It also had a panel to zip in/out for babywearing, which I used as well.
Anon. says
Midwest here, gave birth to #2 in January. I bought a maternity puffer vest and coat from Old Navy. I never ran as hot as others say and had a toddler who wanted to play in the snow so needed a coat. The zipper was terrible so I was glad to get rid of it, but equally glad I had it and hadn’t invested more on one season clothing.
Anonymous says
My 4 year old doesn’t have much attention span for books and still prefers board books (yes, the ones made for little babies) to anything else. I think she likes that she can memorize those books and “read” them to us, which she seems to find much more entertaining than being read to. (A theater class for her is at the top of our list once the kid vaccines finally arrive.) My gut says just let her read/perform what she wants, but then I hear a lot of people saying their 4 year olds already want to listen to chapter books, and I feel bad. Anyone else with a similar kid? Did they grow to love reading? I know not everyone has to love reading, but it’s such a big part of my life and I hoped to share it with her.
Anonymous says
My kindergartner doesn’t love being read to. But she is really into learning to read. So I think (hope!) she’ll love reading more when she can do it herself. Right now we read a book at bedtime, but she pretty much only does it because it delays the actual going to sleep. I have phases where I get freaked out about it and force her to let me read more to her. And then I realize that is a pretty sure way to make sure she hates it even more, so I let it go. No advice, but you’re not the only one.
Pogo says
I wondered that too recently when people talked about 4yo’s liking chapter books. My 4yo likes a wide range, from a few simple board book favorites to non-fiction books about robotics written for older children and everything in between. But I don’t imagining him listening to a chapter book.
I just try to encourage whatever reading he wants to do, whether simple or not. School sends home these Scholastic Readers and they are really simple little handouts – I think bc they’re working on sight words – and he even likes those if they are a good topic for him (fire safety he made us read to him over and over before we tossed it, healthy eating he was like … meh no thanks lol). I let him pick out whatever he wants at the library even if it seems geared towards older or younger children.
SC says
FWIW, I was the same way as a kid, and I was a very early reader. Memorizing the book translated to being able to read the words pretty soon, and then those words showed up in other places. I read a ton as a kid, though I tore through series like Boxcar Children, Sweet Valley Everything, Babysitter’s Club, and Nancy Drew and didn’t read many classics or “good” children’s literature. I read all the time now (like 70 books per year), and it’s a mix of literary fiction and genre fiction.
My son was not ready to listen to chapter books at 4. At 5, we read a mix of early chapter books and picture books, depending on his mood. A lot of the picture books were on more advanced science topics. Now, at 6, I’m reading mostly early chapter books to him, but we still read picture books occasionally and comic books fairly often. DH reads a 2-page out of a DK science book to him every night. I also want my son to love reading because I love it. But I think giving kids choice and going at their pace and responding to their interest has a better chance to leading to a love of reading than pushing them too far.