Happy hump day! This gorgeous burgundy blazer is ponte lined with satin, all of which tells you it’s going to be stretchy, machine washable, and generally pretty sturdy. I like the ruffle at the collar and the half-belt details at the back. It’s available in regular and petites at White House | Black Market for $150. Perfect Form Ponte Burgundy Jacket
P.S.: here’s a $29 option (which also comes in sizes up to XXL).
P.P.S.: I just noticed that last week’s Washable Wednesday option is also available at Lord & Taylor in black and blue, for $64 (not counting their coupon codes), in sizes 0-16.
Famouscait says
Has anyone out there used a doula for labor and delivery? It’s something I’ve just started looking into, and would have to pay for out of pocket if I hired someone. Honestly, it feels a bit high-maintenance to me, but the one friend I have who used a doula can’t speak highly enough about the experience. I’ll be delivering in a hospital with a midwife, if that matters (a doctor only comes into the picture if something goes astray).
KJ says
I delivered with a midwife and also had a doula. I was also worried it was overkill, but I am so, so grateful we had her there. She was such a big help, especially to my husband – I can’t overstate how glad I am that she was there. Even with a midwife, there were long stretches of my labor where we were left by ourselves because she was delivering other babies, and we would have been alone and terrified if it weren’t for the doula. Some things went awry, and she was able to tell us, “that’s not normal” and get the nurses when needed. Are you in the DC area? We went with a doula practice, By Your Side, where you get whichever doula is on duty when you go into labor, which makes it a lot more affordable than hiring an individual doula. The downside was that their doulas do not come to your house when you are in labor, which is what the midwives prefer. They meet you at the hospital instead. If this is your first baby or you are shooting for an unmedicated labor, I would highly recommend a doula.
Spirograph says
I use By Your Side, too, and have nothing but good things to say about them. I don’t plan to use a doula forbaby #2, but that is because my labor was really fast and my husband and I know what to expect this time (fear of the unknown was a major motivating factor), but I would recommend a doula to anyone, esp for your first baby.
Anonymous says
I did not use a doula, but I have seen several women use doulas for their labor.
Is this your first baby? Are you a needy person (I ask that nicely) and do you think you will need constant reassurance? First time labors can be lengthy and a doula would give your partner a break from attending to your needs. So, if you think your partner will need a break, by all means, get that doula for your partner’s sanity. Also, do you plan on going epidural-free? Laboring women that do not get epidurals need a lot of support. A midwife at a hospital may need to see other patients on the labor ward and may not be able to devote all her time to you.
Some women retreat mentally within themselves when they go into labor. Some women become very frightened of the pain and become frantic. I did the mental retreat thing and I wanted to be alone. Even my mother and partner were distractions to me. I felt like I was a cow that needed to break away from the herd and deliver in solitude in a nearby field or something. A doula would have been awkward for me, but a doula may be 100% the right choice for you and your family.
anon eagle says
oops that was me.
KJ says
That is also a good point. For what it’s worth, I thought I would be the “retreat” type because I have done a lot of yoga and meditation, but it turns out that (at least with pitocin labor) I am the freak out type.
anon eagle says
I think you never really know. My mother was certain that I would be the most dramatic woman to ever give birth. Everyone freaks out with Pitocin births. Of the many (300+) women I saw that wanted to have an epidural-free labor, only ONE did it successfully with Pitocin.
Famouscait says
First baby, planning on meds, don’t consider myself overly “needy”. Concerns I have that are leading me to explore a doula:
My DH is awesome in so many ways and is all about doing whatever I need to do for me. That being said, we have different coping mechanisms (which he sometimes forgets) and he’s never been in the position of having to really see me in pain, the fear of medically-is-this-normal?, etc. I’ve been that caregiver for him in the past, and do know how hard and overwhelming it can be. I think he underestimates what it will be like for him having to support me 100% for x number of hours.
Secondly, I’m beginning to feel a decent amount of anxiety about maintaining modesty at the hospital. I know the general wisdom is that by the end so many people will have seen/touched/squeezed/etc. all parts of you that you won’t even care, but just typing that sentence now makes me physically cringe and I think I very well may still care. I imagine a doula as someone who can be vigilant about that perspective and speak-up on my behalf when necessary. Maybe that makes me “needy”… perhaps I need to amend my opening sentence! =)
mascot says
re: pain- I was in significant pain when my water broke at home and at the hospital until I got my epidural. After that there was a lot of pressure and some pain during the actual birth. So, for me, there was no shielding my husband from seeing my discomfort at some point. YMMV.
modesty: I thought my hospital did a pretty good job keeping me covered when possible. The epidural made me a little cold. Obviously, there are times when things are going to be out in the open so to speak, but overall, it’s not bad. You don’t have to stay in the hospital gown the whole stay unless there is some medical reason you need it on. Post birth and shower, I changed into a pair of pajamas (loose bottoms and top with a nursing tank underneath). The nurses were still able to check me me and the nursing tank allowed me to work with the nurses/lactation consultants without being completely topless.
JJ says
That’s a really good point re retreating. I’m very much a “retreat” person when I’m in pain and with pitocin-assisted (ha!) back labor, I just wanted to be by myself. A doula would have just made me uncomfortable and feel awkward.
Chronic Overthinker says
I just hired a doula two weeks ago and I am due in two weeks. It was all very last minute because hiring a doula was something that I felt was high-maintenance but my husband really wanted one. When we met her, she told my husband that he is my coach and she will be his coach. This really helped put my husband at ease (he has been having MAJOR anxiety about the impending childbirth – he is worried I will die, does not want to see me in pain, etc.).
This is our first child and I am planning to give birth in a birth center, attended by a midwife. If the doula helps calm my husband, then I think he will be better able to support me. So yes, I hired a doula for my husband, but I anticipate she will be extremely helpful to me!
hoola hoopa says
Hiring a doula for your husband is legitimate! A friend got one because her husband is extremely squeamish in medical situations. He has fainted upon entering a hospital to visit a family member. They (as a team) weren’t sure if he’d be able to truly attend the birth, so they got a doula to have someone would be there to essentially support him so that the staff could support her.
He ended up being awake and involved (he still doesn’t know how!), but they were still thankful to have a doula because there were complications that lead to an emergency C-section. They found the doula helpful in being the go-between to the two sets of grandparents anxiously waiting for any and all updates in the waiting room. It allowed the husband to stay by her side as much as possible.
hoola hoopa says
While I felt the exact same way about looking high maintenance, I disagree that the hospital views them that way. Every staff member from primary doc to hospital OB to labor nurse was excited to find out we were using one.
I had one with my first. I’ll be honest and say that it was not a positive experience. Ultimately, we didn’t get along very well with the doula we chose. That was our fault. She got more and more difficult and pissy as the (loooong) labor went on and actually didn’t do or say much. We nearly asked to leave at one point and probably should have. We also felt like the staff gave us more space and less attention because we had a doula, which was a shame because our assigned labor nurse was great. However, she was the only one involved who knew how to turn the baby, who was coming out at an odd angle (head first, but turned to one side) and would have been a more difficult delivery, so I have to give her credit there.
We interviewed three and ‘clicked’ with two of them. We went with the third because she said the right things and seem to have better ‘stats’ and materials. That was our bad. My biggest advice is to go with your gut over marketing.
Carrie M says
I had a doula for my first birth earlier this year and am happy I hired her. I also delivered at a hospital, with a midwife (which was coincidental – she happened to be the on call person from my OBGYN practice that day, but I’m so, so happy it was her). The midwife was fantastic, but I think it was still worth it to have a doula.
I don’t consider myself high maintenance but I think we benefited from having a doula for reasons that may resonate with you: (1) it was our first child so we wanted reassurance that things happening during labor were normal, (2) my husband and I are totally different in how we manage pain and even communicate about it, so we thought having some there who could “translate” my feelings/status into action items for him would help, (3) it’s nice to have someone in the hospital room with you the whole time; nurses/doctors are in and out, and they change shifts; and I liked having her input on what the midwife recommended in terms of drugs and how to get the baby in the right position.
I ended up laboring at home – in back labor – for a day. We called my doula throughout the day to check in, and she would suggest things to try: take a walk, take a shower, try to nap, eat, rest, bounce on your exercise ball, etc. She finally came to our house when I thought I could be in mid labor. To be honest, at that point, my husband and I were in a good rhythm, so she kind of hung back. But having her there meant my husband could eventually take a quick shower and eat, which I know helped give him stamina.
We went to the hospital a few hours later, and I was 7cm dilated. I don’t know that I could have gotten that far – esp outside of the hospital – on my own. I liked having her guidance re what was normal and how to try coping with the pain.
On the modesty thing: I am the most modest woman you’ll meet. I think V-neck shirts can be a little racy even when nothing is shown:) But when I was in pain and focused on managing it, nothing happening around me mattered. Seriously. Also, remember that the nurses and doctors have other patients – they aren’t in your room the whole time anyway. When it finally came time to deliver, there were all kinds of people in my room – my midwife, nurse, a nurse-in-training, NICU doctor and nurse, my husband, doula, etc. And I was not aware of any of it. In fact, a few days later, the same NICU nurse took care of my baby and said – oh I was there when you delivered. I didn’t recognize her and neither did my husband!
The nurses and midwife at the hospital were totally fine with me having a doula. In fact, I think they left us alone MORE because they knew she was in there with me. She and my husband took turns taking naps (it was the middle of the night), which was a little annoying to watch while I was working so hard, but that also meant that whoever was helping me was really ON. They did whatever I asked and did it well.
I totally agree with ANP – you do you. Do whatever you think will make you (and your partner) feel comfortable.
I’ll also add: In some ways, I think I over-obsessed about the labor and birth. It was 2 days of my life….all the truly hard stuff comes afterwards!
Good luck with whatever you decide!!
Meg Murry says
I didn’t have a doula, but I did have both my mother and my husband in the delivery room with me both times. I liked having my mother there because:
-she stayed with me while my husband took breaks to go to the cafeteria, get coffee etc
-she handled making and taking phone calls to my dad and in-laws to keep them up to date so my husband could stay with me
-she went out in the hallway and physically found a nurse while my husband stayed with me when we needed someone rightnow and no one was answering our call button
-when things got a little scary and I was so out-of-it I couldn’t make decisions she helped my husband make some medical decisions for me (he knew what I wanted but he felt better having someone else agree with the decision for me since I couldn’t)
-overall, she’d been through this before and had a clue what was going on, while my husband and I didn’t.
In general, I am all for a second support person (or support to the support person). I was lucky enough to have the kind of relationship with my mom where it worked for us, but I would recommend hiring a doula if that will work better for you. Can you ask your midwife for a recommendation? Chances are she’s worked with some that she got along with better than others, and if you like and are comfortable with your midwife you’ll probably also be comfortable with her recommended person.
ANP says
No opinions or experience with a doula, but as with all things parenting my advice is: you do you. Don’t worry about it feeling high maintenance or not! If it makes you more comfortable and you can find someone you like, go for it.
Edited: this was meant as a reply to Famouscait.
(former) preg 3L says
+1. You do you. I had a doula because everyone I knew in my city who had had a baby since I knew them, ended up with an emergency C-section. I wanted an unmedicated delivery because I was so scared of the possibility of a C. Statistics I’ve read say that having a doula lowers your chances of emergency medical intervention by a very significant percentage (I don’t remember the latest stats). Our doula came to our apartment the morning of the birth and really helped me stay calm; reassured us that we were doing the right thing and helped us get everything we needed to the hospital. Once at the hospital, our doula wasn’t terribly helpful but only because I delivered so quickly. I would highly recommend one based on my experience!
AEK says
Aargh, this jacket would look SO much better with the print dress I’m wearing today than the boring navy cardigan I have on!