CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 50 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Recent Recs

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A woman wearing a Bobeau Maxi Slit SkirtAs the weather finally starts to get nicer (FINALLY!) I’m looking forward to wearing my maxi dresses and skirts on the weekends. I bought this one at Nordstrom a few seasons ago and continue to wear it — it washes nicely, is comfortable to wear, can be dressed up or down. They keep coming out with new colors every year, and the product has 88 positive reviews. It’s $39-59, available in regular and petite sizes, at Nordstrom; the pictured skirt is $44. Bobeau Ruched Waist Side Slit Maxi Skirt (Regular & Petite)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

Comments

  1. CPA Lady says

    So… I’m doing it. I’m making the website about how to combo feed, wean, etc. I got a domain name yesterday, and once I’ve gotten a few more things written, I’ll link to it in my name here. Yay! If anyone has something they want to add to it, email me at cpalady345 at the google email. I’m not going to mention it anymore, since it is so annoying when people are constantly shilling their websites, but I thought I’d let y’all know since we talked about it yesterday.

    • Sfg says

      YES! I have a clogged duct right now and when I was googling and trying to figure out what all I can do for it, some of the sites told me I got it because I’m neglecting my kid. Um, no.

      • quailison says

        Googling breastfeeding stuff is the worst! Results are contradictory and judgmental, a winning combo.

      • EB0220 says

        Have you tried kelly mom? It’s a great resource for breastfeeding questions. I have always found it helpful and neutral.

        • Anon says

          I respectfully disagree. While I think that Kellymom is great for information specifically about breastfeeding, I think there is a strong bias against supplementing. Example: in the instructions for how to deal with a sick infant, they state explicitly that pedialyte is not any more helpful than breastmilk. I learned after several bouts of dehydration with my baby that a few spoonfuls of pedialyte can be the difference between having to go to the hospital and not.

    • Not Your Business says

      Yes please!! Thanks! Weaning from pumping now and it is really hard to find information on the best way to do it comfortably.

  2. Nonny says

    Yay, we get an open thread!

    I had this skirt during my pregnancy – I bought it one size up and wore it every chance I got. I was SO sad after my daughter was born and it became too big for me to wear. I still have a plan to buy one in my non-pregnancy size, but haven’t done it yet. I loved that skirt – it was amazingly comfy and soft.

    • MSJ says

      Old Navy makes a really similar skirt as well. Normally I’m not crazy about the quality but this particular item held up pretty well

      • hoola hoopa says

        The ON ones don’t have a slit, either. (I don’t like slits, although that could be a con for someone else).

  3. Newly pregnant says

    How did you all organize baby clothes in drawers? I’m envisioning clothes getting all jumbled together.

    Also, did anyone ever deal with their knuckles getting bigger during pregnancy? Does it go away? My fingers are starting to swell, and I’ve noticed that it’s really hard to get my rings on/off past my knuckles. I’m worried the larger knuckles are a permanent thing!

    • due in june says

      For now, I have stacked by type in each drawer – short sleeve body suits, long sleeve body suits, long sleeve footed onesies. I hung the dresses for now.

      I haven’t been able to wear my rings since about 4.5 months. #teamadema I went to yoga last night and the perfectly nice woman next to me was 38 weeks and still wearing her rings. I was more than a bit jealous at her jewelry-wearing ability as I attempted to do warrior 2 on my swollen boat feet.

      • Alli says

        I’m just impressed that you went to yoga at all. I’m 10 weeks and already using it as an excuse to skip workouts… oh well.

        • due in june says

          Don’t be impressed in the least. I slept through my first trimester like I had narcolepsy. I managed to get to the gym maybe 6-12 times early in my second trimester, and nothing since. But now I’m facing labor in a few weeks and I’m stiff and my hips are so very tight so I thought maybe I should try doing something, but it honestly feels like too little too late for me.

    • Nonny says

      I actually use shelves in my LO’s closet. I separate onesies, tops, bottoms, and sweaters, and have a small box that contains socks and legwarmers. I also hang all dresses.

      I also have three drawers, which I use for upcoming sizes. One drawer is for clothes the next size up (from the size my daughter is currently wearing), the next drawer is for clothes the next two sizes up from that, and the third drawer is for miscellaneous larger items that I am starting to accumulate. It keeps everything pretty organized and the system running more or less smoothly.

    • PinkKeyboard says

      My fingers and feet are like puffy sausages. I *think* the knuckles are only bigger because of the puff around them, so it will go away when I stop impersonating one of those magic foamy bath toys from the 80s.

    • Pigpen's Mama says

      I stopped wearing my rings around month 5 and was able to wear them again comfortably around 2-3 months post-partum (not that I wore them that much).

      As for clothes, I just put them in drawers as neatly as possible — I have a bit of a system — nicer outfits in one drawer, ‘sets’ in another, mix and match in another, sleepers in another, etc. Socks are in their own small drawer.

      Once or twice a week I put 2-4 outfits — onesie or top, pants, socks — into gallon ziplock bags (one outfit per bag) and keep them on the IKEA changing table we have downstairs. That makes it much easier to get her dressed in the morning, or to restock the diaper bag if needed. I started doing that when my husband kept asking what she should wear — now I can just direct him to the bags. And the bags are useful to put dirty clothes in if were out and about.

    • EB0220 says

      I used bins with my first – one for shorts, one for pants, one for tops, etc. etc. Now I have a hanging organizer in her closet, which works really well. There’s a little cubby for everything – sheets, blankets, pajamas, tops, bottoms, outfits, etc. I am more visual so this arrangement appeals to me.

    • NewMomAnon says

      We have a 6 drawer dresser that used to hold our changing pad on top. In it, we have one drawer for tops, one for pants and leggings, one for dresses and “fancy clothes”, and one for pajamas. And then there are two drawers of chaos; one has socks and unused bibs and unused sleepsacks and goodness knows what else, and the other has blankets and burp cloths, maybe? When she was a tiny peanut, we had one drawer for footed sleepers, one drawer for onesies and pants, one drawer for sleepsacks, one drawer for “nice clothes” and one drawer for burp cloths, bibs, etc.

      Also, I keep a large-ish woven basket next to the dresser and throw all the outgrown clothes into it when I realize they are too small (or too dirty/damaged/out of season). When it starts overflowing, I sort through it and donate or sell the contents.

    • quailison says

      I use baskets in the closet and do not fold. One basket for sleepers, one for onesies, one for pants/sweatshirts, and one for socks (so many tiny socks!)

      My knuckles swelled during the last month of pregnancy and stayed swollen for about 6 weeks after birth. After that I wore my wedding ring (the only jewelry I really wear) during the day only because night seemed to be the worst. Now at 14 weeks postpartum I’m back to wearing it full time/never taking it off.

    • pockets says

      I use bins that fit into the drawers in her dresser. And then, I get the nanny to fold/organize the clothing.

    • Not Your Business says

      This might not work when the baby is bigger, but we just have bins under the changing table and all of his clothes fit in one bin. They’re all jumbled together (onesies, footie pjs, pants), but it’s fine because he doesn’t have THAT many clothes so it never takes long to find what you’re looking for. I suppose when he’s larger and/or has more variety of clothes we’ll need a different system. For now, clothes that are waiting for him to grow into them are in a hanging organizer in the closet.

    • Anonymous says

      I rolled tops, so you could see a little of the graphic or whatever. Looked insanely tidy…wish I could maintain that elsewhere in my life!

  4. Carseat Question says

    Any recommendations for a $50-75 range (preferably, can go higher if necessary) car seat for grandparent’s car? I remember seeing a lot of recommendations for the Costco Scenera but can’t find it in non-girly colors for under $100?

    Would be for occasional use, so easy to put in and out and ease of use isimportant. Kiddo is 1, so rear facing but I would like it to be able to grow with him.

    • MSJ says

      Check Walmart’s website for the Cosco carseat. I see it online now for $34 in the giraffe pattern, which I have and like. I bought the seat for travel but haven’t had to use it yet (trip got cancelled) so can’t speak to ease of use. But it looks nice and you really can’t beat the price

  5. shortperson says

    the big dressers with 2 or 3 wide drawers are designed to be changing tables but not to hold baby clothes. we set up a changing table in the bathroom (took out a sink to do it) and use an idea dresser with small drawers that’s been working perfectly (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60218015/) we also had the container store install elfa shelves and rods for tiny clothes. this means that her insanely extensive wardrobe fits in half her closet with room in the rest for toys.

  6. EB0220 says

    This might be silly, but I’m torn. My company is having a spring festival next week, and I’ll be attending with my family. At outdoor events, I typically wear my baby (9 months) in a wrap or soft structured carrier and nurse her on demand. I feel a little weird about doing this at a work event. It’s pretty discreet – I can cover up with the hood of the carrier – but I have been surprised by how many people try to pull it back to get a look (not realizing what I’m doing). Anything I should think about in this scenario, or should I just go about my business as usual?

    • NewMomAnon says

      I don’t think it’s silly – I opted out of a company retreat with families invited because I thought it would be too hard to be the “primary” parent of an infant and a “professional worker bee” at the same time. If my husband had been more involved, I might have made a different decision and asked him to run point on all childcare. So I guess that’s what I would suggest; have husband wear baby as much as possible, and see if there is a quiet place to nurse baby at regular intervals. At 9 months, my kiddo would not have tolerated nursing with a hood up in a busy/social environment, and might not have nursed in that environment anyway.

      • R says

        +1. I think it depends on how much you want to (or think you’ll be able to) balance mom vs co-worker. I would probably skip, or attend for a short while without the kids. I just don’t want to have to be the one soothing an over-stimulated infant who is crying because she wants to crawl/cruise everywhere and slobber all over everyone’s dress pants. If you’re confident your husband can take that role, or you don’t mind your chat with the VP interrupted by screams for your boob, then do you.

        (And I fully realize it shouldn’t be this way, and it’s unfair that guys wouldn’t have the same dilemma. But my corporate culture is one where I’d be better off skipping entirely than dealing with the above.)

  7. Anon says

    So, I’m pregnant with my nth and last child. I’ve been practicing law for 15 years in a demanding niche litigation field. Something clicked in my mind last week after a conversation with my husband about wanting to take a loooong maternity leave this time, and I’ve been ruminating, and I think I’ve decided I’m going to leave my firm (though I love the people and the work) and stay home with my kids when I have this baby. For various reasons I won’t go into for fear of outing myself, I have no concerns about returning to legal practice when I’m ready in a few years (or 3 or 5). I have sort-of-not-really considered doing this when I had my others, but I’ve never really come close to actually wanting to do it. So I’m surprising myself with these feelings.

    Now that my mindset has shifted, I’m daydreaming about all the productive things I’ll get done for the household (organizing! Better budgeting! Not always feeling behind on everything!) and quality time I’ll get with my kiddos.

    Financially it’s not a problem at all and I’ll still have the ability to work a tiny bit if I want to – and I think I do (enough to max out a 401k each year with everything I earn).

    I recognize this may be pregnancy-induced insanity, so I’m going to set up a 6-month maternity leave and tell my firm 3 months before I’m due to come back if I haven’t changed my mind by then. We get no paid maternity leave (don’t get me started), so I am not concerned this presents any sort of ethical dilemma.

    I guess the reason I’m posting is to ask if anyone here has done something similar/had these feelings. I imagine many (most?) of you will think this is a completely terrible idea. But people take a year off from work to travel Europe, and I’m ready for a sabbatical from my demanding job and more time with my family for awhile. And suddenly I feel certain about where I’ve never been inclined to be a SAHM before.

    • JJ says

      No practical advice, but honestly? Good for you if this will make you happy! If you feel certain about it and your husband supports the decision, why not? We worry so much about our careers and what affect having children will have on them, but if I could financially swing taking a couple years off to raise my kids, I would do it in a heartbeat.

      I also know a lot of large law firms have signed on to “on-ramp” programs that are aimed at reintegrating lawyer moms who left the workforce to raise kids and have decided to come back to work. In several years, these on-ramp programs may be even more prevalent.

      Practical considerations: are your benefits through your job or your husband’s job? Obviously, once you let your firm know that you don’t intend to come back, they can cancel your benefits immediately.

    • NewMomAnon says

      I had similar feelings, but it was my first kiddo and I didn’t have the certainty that I could back to work or that we could afford for me to be a SAHM. I was really on the fence about it, and decided that I could always quit if I went back and hated working but it would be hard to quit and come back if I hated being a SAHM. I dropped to a significantly reduced billable goal instead and went back to work, and have not regretted going back to work. Although I sometimes wish I had gone into the reduced goal with a better plan for how to fill my hours.

      It sounds like you’ve put a lot more thought into this than I did, and that you’ve had these thoughts before. You’ve also had other pregnancies (?) and have some idea what you’re going to jump into. It sounds to me like a reasonable decision.

      This might be a silly suggestion, but can you draw up a business plan for your proposed course of action and pitch it to yourself? That might help you really analyze what might be holding you back from just jumping for it.

    • Nonny says

      I think this is great. And honestly, much as I like my work, if we could afford it I would stay home in a heartbeat, at least for a few years. Good for you.

    • Newly pregnant says

      Good for you for knowing what you want and also having the financial security to do it!

    • Sarabeth says

      I think this is great, actually. I think more women (and men) would take this route if the “no concerns about returning to legal practice” piece were true. I’m not a lawyer, but I’m in a career where I absolutely would not be able to get back in the door at anything approaching the same level if I were to take time off. It sucks that it’s just not an option for me, because I would totally consider it. But I am not willing to give up the next 30+ years of my career, which is what it would amount to for me.

    • Anon OP says

      Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement and the practical advice. It’s nice to know that some smart internet strangers I’ve come to rely on for all sorts of advice don’t all think I’m nuts. I like the idea of making a “business plan” on paper to make sure I’ve thought through everything. I am the one who carries the health insurance and we’ll have to deal with that obviously. We’ll probably get it through my husband’s company. I’m not due for 5 more months, so I have time to sort these things out.

      I switched to a reduced schedule after my other kids were born, and at the time it worked great and I was happy going back, but it’s litigation, so some weeks and months are just insane no matter what based on the trial and briefing schedule. I feel differently this time, like even a reduced schedule is more hectic and exhausting than I want to take on, and I am more established in my field, as is my husband, and that means more financial security, so perhaps I feel more freedom to make this choice this time. Of course we’ll have to tighten up the budget a bit, but we’re pretty frugal and the numbers work out fine.

      The more I think about, the more I think I want to do this. And I’m getting a little excited for the change of pace. Please keep the suggestions coming!

  8. rakma says

    I used to look forward to Friday nights as a night out, and the end of the work week. I had the whole weekend ahead of me, and didn’t have to spend too much time keeping my life in order.
    Now I look forward to Friday nights because that’s when the lawn guys come, and when I usually schedule grocery delivery. I feel so accomplished, yet I haven’t really done anything but eat tacos for dinner. Which is a good start, since I’ll be working most of the weekend so I can stay caught up, in addition to that whole keeping a small human alive and healthy thing.

    Anyone else have more interesting plans for the weekend?

  9. Merabella says

    Someone was asking about websites for fathers the other day and I saw this on nyt. Thought I’d share.

    Also, I have my induction tomorrow night and am totally having pregame jitters along with allergies/pregnancy stuffed nose and am completely unable to sleep. Yay?

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