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What do you think about Marie Kondo’s admission that after three kids she’s sort of given up on tidying?
Not at all surprising. I think most people get there before 3 kids. I definitely did.
It sparked joy in me
I have to wonder whether she was actually tidying the way she was telling others to in the first place, because it was all just so unrealistic.
The only part I found unrealistic was emptying your purse daily. The rest is kind of necessary if you live in a small home and don’t want it to be a pile of junk.
I do live in a small home and don’t want it to be a junk pile, and for me it was all just so unrealistic.
"school incident" - then nothing? says
TL;DR: Teacher informed us of “incident” but has not followed up. Would you reach out to the school again or let it go? Would you assume the best or worst case?
2nd grade DS had serious behavior issues at the beginning of the school year. Not physical misbehavior but lots of talking out of turn, talking back / extreme rudeness to the teacher, etc. The teacher addressed it with us immediately, we addressed it with DS (ie came down hard with immediate and repeated consequences) immediately, and the issue seemed to resolve. Incidentally, we know through conversations with other parents that pretty much all boys in the class were having behavior issues. By the time PT conferences rolled around in Nov, the teacher’s feedback was “He’s doing much much better, I really don’t have concerns, thanks for support.” As no more negative feedback was coming home, this kind of fell off the OMG-Parent-Radar.
FF to this week… DS came home yesterday and self-reported an issue. Apparently they were setting up to play a game in class and the boys got overly competitive in a joking way but then just lost their minds. Several of them, including my DS, wound up on the floor and then in the principal’s office. We did get a possibly-group-bcc’ed email from the teacher last night saying “There was an incident at school, your son was involved, we’ll be in touch.”
The few details in the email do line up with what DS told us. First thing this AM I replied to the teacher and the principal, thanking them for letting us know and that we are available to discuss at their convenience, we know this kind of behavior is not acceptable, etc. We are happy to come to school, have a phone call, anything. Since then (and we’re east coast so it’s almost 3p) – crickets. No phone call, no email, nothing.
Would you, at this point, continue with the “DS is grounded and screenless and has no fun” through the weekend?
Would you ease up a bit (maybe not grounded, but no iPad)?
Would you call the school on Monday to check in?
I want to feel that, if the school was SERIOUSLY concerned, they would have reached out today. But… are they saving the hardest conversations for last? I mean, if DS was a constant behavior problem I feel like we would have had other conversations before this, right? We don’t know what to think. And I’m hesitant to reach out to other parents, bc of not knowing exactly who got that email. Also, two kids whose parents probably got the same email… their parents work at the school.
It’s so hard because schools sometimes are slow to follow up. No joke – my nephew got expelled and it took them 2 weeks to do it! And it was serious (obv).
I think consequences are totally up to you. I would probably ease up a little since he self-reported (the truth) before you heard anything and you want him to do that. If you know the other parents, I would contact them with a light “did you get an email?” text, especially if they work at the school since they likely do know what’s up. That should help fill in some gaps.
No, I would not be imposing harsh home consequences without knowing what the issue was.
It’s also my experience that that kind of behavior, while disruptive, is pretty normal for second grade and while I would be talking to my child I would not be doing separate consequences at home.
No consequences at home until you know what happened. I would try to support and connect with your son this weekend; school sounds rough and you want home to be a haven.
I also have a 2nd grade son and boy, does his class sound rowdy. A friend had a teacher tell her that second grade boys are out of control this year (as a group) and “she has never seen them like this” in decades of teaching. Seems like a Covid hangover.
That’s not to say you don’t listen to and respect the teachers and deal with the issues as you have facts. But perhaps you need to rethink your approach to your son – this behavior is not out of the ordinary for this age, and maybe he needs more physical activity, practice socializing and connection at home, instead of grounding.
Ugh. I just have to vent. After a referral from a pre-K teacher, my 5 year old had a speech therapy evaluation and they said she’s in the 1st percentile for her age and needs weekly speech therapy. They also said she performed really badly on the hearing screening so we have to set up an appointment with an audiologist for a full round of hearing testing. We did almost a year of weekly occupational therapy last year for unrelated issues. All of these appointments are in the middle of the work day, of course. I don’t have a fancy, high powered career but people have no sympathy for me missing work for this stuff and I’m starting to feel like I should just give up and stay home because it’s getting so hard to juggle it all. But then I feel silly for feeling that way because I only have one child and her needs aren’t *that* severe, so why do I feel SO overwhelmed? Blerghhh.
Also I hate hate hate hate healthcare in the US. We have “good” (state government) health insurance, but we have a high deductible and apparently there’s a carve out for “developmental disorders” so speech therapy isn’t covered anyway, so we have to pay for all of this therapy out of pocket to the tune of hundreds of dollars per week. I know it’s a privilege that we don’t have to choose between getting therapy and putting food on the table, but still, we’re not doing this for fun and it just sucks that we have to pay the entire cost.
1000% worthy of venting. I’m so sorry. US Healthcare does suck.
This is a lot to juggle. The US healthcare system along with our system of expecting workers to not have children or have stay at home spouses to handle everything are broken.
One practical tip: in my school district, there are speech experts who help with speech issues for school age and younger children, free of charge. I suspect that this kind of help only exists because it’s required by law. I’m in California and don’t know whether it would be a state or federal requirement, but you might want to check with your local school district to see if they provide this service.
OP, I’m sorry, that’s a lot to handle. I would also encourage you to look into preschool special education services in your state because it definitely sounds like she is eligible. It is handled by different agencies in different places; in my state it is the “intermediate unit” rather than the school district. And in my state, it is free and the therapists can come to preschool to deliver the services.
Hi. I felt this way when my then 2YO had speech therapy (along with relief that we now had a plan for what I definitely knew was not “normal” speech compared to her peers). It is so, so overwhelming and considering I had zero experience with delays of any sort very much like being dropped in a foreign universe.
Another thing to consider is our county public school system starts early intervention at 3YO, so you might be able to access their services even though your kid is not yet in K. My then toddler did therapy through the county’s infant toddler program (for which we had to pay $200 a week because it was a sliding scale and we made too much), and then transitioned at 3 to a preschool resource program through the (free! except for, you know, tax dollars) public school system where a teacher came to the house (or if she had been at a preschool in county, would have come to her school) weekly, then later added a second session per week at the local elementary school and now is getting twice-weekly speech sessions as a kindergartener in the public school system. Might be worth calling your local school and see what resources they offer. It’s weird to get an IEP as a preschooler, but it was so positive for us (and made the kindergarten transition so much smoother).
You may also consider whether you are able to take intermittent FMLA leave to attend appointments for your daughter.
The good (?) news is she will likely qualify for in-school speech next year in K! It’s free, during the day, and you don’t have to do it!!
In my city, there is a university that has a preschool where they provide these services on-site as part of the school day. It is also a research center. You could look around and see if there is something similar.