I was recently talking to a coworker about what she should buy for her boyfriend for his birthday. When I was online shopping in the lull at work between Christmas and New Year’s, I noticed that they had Barefoot Dreams sweatshirts for men, and I suggested it to her. I think this brand fits in a great spot in the market for when you want to give someone an expensive gift that they would never buy for themselves but would absolutely love receiving. I know my husband would never ever buy this for himself but would wear it every single day if he owned it. It looks stylish and incredibly comfortable. I gave a Barefoot Dreams blanket to my aunt for the holidays and she loves it. (A hint: Nordstrom Rack often has Barefoot Dreams blankets on deep discount!) This sweater is $114 at Nordstrom. Men’s CozyChic Lite Raglan Sweater
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
I recently learned that my husband’s upcoming business trip is going to be 10 days instead of the 4-5 I was expecting. I will have a 4 1/2 year old and 21 month old twins. He’ll he gone Thursday through the following Saturday. Normally I would make my mom come, but she’s busy with other grandkids during the weekend and it feels silly having her there during the week when they’ll be at daycare all day. I’ll probably hire a couple babysitters to get through the weekend? Or make my dad come. My in-laws would probably offer, but I think I’d rather be solo than have them there without my husband. I could drive to my family for the weekend, but traveling with them is almost more work. Any magic idea I’m not thinking of, or will I just survive with coffee, babysitters, and prayer?
Definitely hire sitters to get through the weekend. Do you have any teenage/college neighbors who might be able to serve as mother’s helpers for an hour or two on the weeknights? Depending on where your parents/in-laws live, could your 4 1/2 year old go to stay with them for the weekend? Then that child could have 1:1 time with grandparents, and it might be less overwhelming for you (although I’d still hire babysitters). Good luck!!!
aauughhh! I actually don’t think it’s silly having her come during the week if it’s not too much of a trip for her. The morning/bedtime grind can be exhausting, and having someone else to help could give you more energy to get through the weekends. My partner is gone Tues – Thurs on many weeks, and I often have my mom come for one of those nights to help out.
Agree with this!
I solo parent for half my life. The real things that help me are:
– have a meal plan and make it as easy as possible. Organic toaster waffles for dinner? Perfect.
– Get all the laundry done ahead of time (put this on him) and then basically put it off until he gets back. (Not feasible when he’s away for months but for 10 days? Sure.)
– Get somebody to help you with pickup one or two days. It really makes the evenings less chaotic.
– Lower your standards.
– Book a massage for the Sunday after husband gets back. Really.
You’ll be fine. It’s the anticipation that’s the worst.
all good advice!
I like the advice to put some of the prep work on him.
You’ll survive. You’ve handled the kids on your own while he’s gone before, right? It just gets easier and easier as they get older, at least IME.
Yes, although last time he was gone my one year old broke her leg. So my standards for success on this next trip are pretty low. Hope the kids enjoy not bathing for ten days, because that’s his job.
Yes! My kids get filthy whenever my husband travels because it’s his job, and in fact I have literally NEVER bathed my 4yo or my 2yo. When he travels I just spot-clean them as needed.
Hahah, yep. I gave my kids showers the other night when my husband was traveling (couldn’t put it off any more; 2 yr old’s hair was sticky) — and they were incredulous that mom could give them a shower. Apparently, it had never occurred to them that I had this ability…unfortunately, I blew my cover.
Do you have a gym with childcare where you could get an hour or two to yourself? Even if you don’t feel like working out, you could take a slow stroll on the treadmill while watching a tv show on a tablet.
Ooh, I do. Haven’t taken them yet but that could really help break up the weekend. Thanks!
I do this. It’s my freedom time. I go to the gym Every. Single. Saturday and Sunday for at least an hour just to be able to watch TV with no guilt.
Yes, this! My LO loves the child care center at our gym so I use it regularly when husband is gone. There are times I’ve just brought a book and coffee and read on a couch at the gym :)
I would have her come for Monday evening (dinner/bedtime) through Friday morning. That way you only have Monday morning and Friday evening to deal with on your own. Sitters for help on the weekend. Ask your mom to help with laundry/dishes during the day when she’s there. I’ve gotten my mom a facial or massage on occasion to say thanks.
It gets easier when they are older. My oldest is 7 and the twins are 5. When DH goes for a week now I’m fine on my own vs when they were small and my mom had to move in for survival.
As others have suggested, I’d get some help for at least a few of the evenings. It would be a good way to test-drive some new sitters and have a deeper sitter roster for date nights etc. if you like some of them!
Do you have the opportunity to WFH one of the days he is gone? If you can, I’d WFH Wed so I could catch up on laundry and have some meals going on the crockpot while I work.
You know your family best, but my mom is the only grandparent who is actually a net positive to bring in if a parent is out of town. DH and I have both found that the other grandparents actually make things more difficult because they throw off routines, the kids act up because there’s someone to “perform” for, and it’s just an extra layer of complexity.
I vote for babysitters or maybe a mother’s helper a couple of nights. Order grocery delivery or takeout, meal plan all the easiest things, and lower your standards for cleaning and keeping up with laundry.
Whew. Did anyone else see this article (linked on TheSHUbox?): https://www.physicianonfire.com/financial-mistake/
It’s basically a man’s review of his wife’s decision to give up her career as a physician to stay home with their kids. Spoiler alert: HE thinks it worked out great!
There’s a lot to dislike in the article, from the very first premise that the MAN giving up his career was never a consideration, nor was it possible that he would solo parent their son or that they would switch off long distance. No, the only two choices were: live separately for a year with her solo parenting, or she gives up her career. Not great, Dan.
Also, the analysis of estimating her take-home pay and what they would have yielded had then invested 100% of it over time is obviously severely flawed. Working has its costs, which would have come out, not to mention lifestyle inflation is a thing. It’s a lot easier to think you would save 100% of your income if you don’t actually have it at your disposal. I get that it’s a thought exercise, but still.
Also, this guy is a trip. Rather than take on childcare responsibilities so his wife can work and have a career: “I do a lot of moonlighting, partly to maintain procedural skills but partly to supplement my income. That takes me away from family some weekend mornings.” So, on one hand, he waxes on about how their cheap lifestyle allows his wife to afford to stay home. On the other hand, oops, he has to be away from home on weekend mornings so he can make more money for the family! Man earning more money = positive for family; woman giving up earning money = positive for family. Got it.
Eh, I find his tone (and the whole FIRE movement, tbh) kind of smug, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what was presumably a joint decision for her to stay home. Nothing in the article suggests he coerced her into this or she wasn’t fully on board with it, and we don’t know what went on in their discussions and what alternatives they considered besides her quitting or solo parenting. For all we know, she thinks it worked out great too. I know lots of SAHMs who are perfectly happy with their decision to stay home.
I don’t like the SAHM-shaming that goes on here anymore than any of us like the working mom shaming we sometimes experience.
I don’t have any interest in hearing from men how great it works out for them when their wives leave careers, lose them ability to financially support themselves and their families, and become servants. This isn’t new, it isn’t news, it’s just the same old patriarchal nonsense we’ve always had.
I like your perspective to an extent but “become servents” is a little extreme. Willingly choosing to care for your family and do unpaid labor on a daily basis is not the same as being a servent. Let’s give a little worth and dignity to the work of SAHMs or SAHDs. It’s ok to make sacrifices if that’s what you want to do and it makes sense for your situation.
Just on this point, “what alternatives they considered besides her quitting or solo parenting,” he describes what they considered in the article. Someone in the comments pointed out that he might have a statutory obligation to report for duty as ordered, so he perhaps didn’t have the ability to consider an alternative career, but that still doesn’t address the possibility that he would take the baby, a relative could have stayed with either of the parents to help with childcare, hiring one or two full-time nannies to help out for that year, the wife switching to a fellowship maybe not right in the same town but close enough that weekend visits would have been more feasible, etc.
But lots of people wouldn’t want to live apart from their 7 month old baby! That’s a perfectly valid life choice, even if it’s not the one you would make.
True, maybe separating mom from baby was never even an option, so it wasn’t considered in the analysis. Fair point!
But this also seemingly lessens the “choice” the wife had in the matter. If it was unacceptable for her to be separated from her husband for a year, and not being separated necessitated her giving up her career, that’s quite a bit different from hey, my wife had this amazing opportunity to continue in her physician career but deliberately and consciously gave it up to be a SAHM. It’s more like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place and chose the lesser of two evils.
The tone is different. But I don’t necessarily think the decision is. One physician makes plenty of money to support a family, if that’s the lifestyle they want.
My mother is a physician. She’s a bad-ass career woman, but she also chose a family-friendly specialty with regular hours over something like surgery or obstetrics. My dad had a feel-good, low-paying job that required 80 hours per week and whole-family participation for one full weekend day every weekend. In all honesty, he should have stayed home. I remember growing up in a family that was always busy and stressed out, and I was a ball of perfectionism and anxiety. Everything–making money, childcare, cooking, cleaning, emotional labor–fell on my mom’s shoulders while my dad floated around his job helping everybody but us. (This is probably unfair to my dad, who I’m close with now, but whatever.)
My parents also did the long-distance thing for a year for my mom’s fellowship when I was 7. It was only 3 hours away from where we lived, so my mom came home every weekend. My dad kept his job, which they probably needed financially at that point. Still, it was a pretty traumatic year for me, and both of them say it was the worst year of their lives.
Is your dad a pastor? Whole-family all-day participation on the weekend sounds like it, so just curious.
had the same question!
He was a minister, but not a pastor, in a very large church. We had Sunday school, church, visitors’ reception, lunch with people, afternoon activities, Sunday night church, and dinner out with different people. Homework had to be done on Saturday. We also had church activities every Wednesday night and sometimes Thursday afternoons. And my mom would help set up weddings some Saturdays, or bake cakes for fundraisers, or make dishes for church potlucks. It was . . . a lot. And 99% of those people turned out to be a**holes.
Unrelated question – what’s the difference between a minister and a pastor?
+1 to your last paragraph. The “duh, just live apart” takes are so flippant to me. Even with older kids, long distance is ridiculously hard on a family, and this is an INFANT. Even in divorce cases, infants don’t get shuttled back and forth between homes because stability and routine are so important at that age, and courts default to custody for the mother because of biological differences like breastfeeding. In my state, it’s only around age 3-4 that a child of divorced parents would begin spending time at both parents’ houses equally.
I’m in academia and because there are a lot of dual-academic couples, there are a lot of families where one partner has a job far away. This was my situation when I had my first — my husband worked in another state for her entire first year. Was it ideal? No, it sucked in many ways. But we knew it was temporary, so we called in help as much as we could, and we made do. It’s one thing if they’d be living apart for a decade but in my opinion it’s not worth abandoning an entire career to avoid a year of hardship.
That’s great you could handle that, but not everyone could.
yes, and the people in that article have no idea if they could handle it, because they never tried.
Get off your high horse. Not everyone needs to make the same decisions as you.
Divorced when my kid was 2.5 and she started spending time in two households at that point, 50/50. She’s fine.
I’m sure your child is fine. 2.5 is much closer to 3 (which is when courts in my state typically start doing dual custody) than 7 months. Regardless, my point was not that it’s terrible for people to be long-distance (or get divorced) with young kids, even babies, but that it’s understandable why someone would not want to do long-distance with a baby that young, or why they would default to the mother being the primary caregiver.
Thanks for sharing – this article irked me too (as does much of the FIRE blogging world, but that’s another rant.) Even if this was totally a joint decision, the wife was constrained in her choices by the fact that the husband had armed services obligations that were beyond what most of us would face when making dual career decisions. They had to know that was coming down the road. How was that addressed when they got married, decided to have the kid, etc? It’s just not representative of 99% of couples who make this decision.
Plus, I don’t like the answer “we won’t get divorced.” One, it’s all well and good coming from the guy who has stable income. Two, I find it hard to believe the mom would be able to just jump right back into the work force as a single parent, especially if her geographic options are limited by his location. Three, the truly equal option would be to say we don’t plan on getting divorced, it’s not an option, blah blah blah – but we both have equal accounts in our own names that the household income contributes equally to that we will never have to use, but it is there.
And while I believe women who say that they do enjoy staying home, I just know that for me that would never be the case. Would my life and our household life be easier? Yes, 100%. Would I have more time to exercise, volunteer, do other things I enjoy? Yes. But I get satisfaction from work that would not be replaced by being the best SAHP. And that satisfaction from intellectual work, challenge, etc has been gratifying ever since I was in elementary school – it’s part of who I am, and I imagine that’s the same for lots of us moms, including doctors. You don’t follow through all the way to fellowship because it’s just a job. That sacrifice is not really addressed in the article. Plus I do all the things that mom does just to a lesser extent – it’s not all or nothing in terms of contributing to your kids’ growth in exchange for the sacrifice of professional growth.
And finally – if anyone should be moonlighting on weekends to bring in extra cash, it should be the mom! Really keep up the skills and networks, plus give dad some quality one-on-one kid time!
Agree completely about the moonlighting (that she should be doing it) and that it’s absurd for him to insist he knows they won’t get divorced. But I don’t think you can say that a woman won’t be satisfied staying home just because she has a lot of education. I have a PhD and I’d stay home in a heartbeat if my husband earned enough for us and I knew he wouldn’t lose his job or divorce me. Once kids are toddlers, it’s not just whipping out b00bs and wiping butts – a stay at home parent of kids under 5 is basically a preschool teacher for their own kids, and I personally think teaching young kids can be a very fulfilling career, even for someone who’s smart and driven (my kids and I would do all the home science experiments!).
I think a lot of us are high-acheivers simply because we’re smart and school comes easily to us, and we’re always reaching for the next level of educational/professional achievement because that’s what we’re told we’re supposed to do. I know there are doctors and lawyers and PhDs who derive tremendous fulfillment from their careers and can’t imagine not having that career, but I don’t think that’s all of us by any means. I know a lot of women with really impressive resumes who love staying home, at least until the divorce or their husband’s job loss (but that’s a separate issue).
I completely agree that being a SAHP is not just total slog work, especially once kids are more preschoolers than toddlers/babies. I just don’t have the personality for it – I thrive on competition, deadlines, etc (I’m a litigator, ha!). I know lots of high achieving people are different from me in this regard, and that’s awesome for them. But I do think that I could unhealthily channel my competitiveness through my kids if I were a SAHP. I’m all for finding fulfillment in different avenues and that often we end up doing “what we are supposed to do” in terms of career progression, so I definitely agree that some people can essentially switch careers from a doctor to a happy and awesome SAHP.
I really hope that the doctor wife in the blog post is one of those who doesn’t feel like it’s as much of a sacrifice as I imagine. And this is not to say that on a terrible work day that I don’t fantasize about staying home. I guess my point is, I could see staying home and being happy – just not as happy as I would have been in the workforce. That’s a sacrifice that isn’t addressed by the piece, and obviously the amount of difference in happiness would be different for everyone ( and I think most men could be happy at home too, and yet we don’t have equity in who stays home.) I just worry that men get to maximize happiness and women are encouraged to reimagine happiness so that men can do so.
Boston Legal Eagle says
One of many reasons that I stay in the workforce, in Corporate America, is because I value caregiving and know how hard it is to be a SAHP, particularly of small kids. I think all parents should have to strike that balance of working for pay and then also fulfilling your caregiving duties at home (whether it is you personally doing this or getting help from the outside to make it happen). I work with a lot of higher ups (mainly men, but some women too) who have SAH spouses and you can tell that they don’t value the work that is caregiving and taking care of a house. It’s fine if you stay married forever, but the problem lies in a couple separating – usually it is the SAHP spouse that ends up screwed.
Basically, everyone needs to value caregiving more and maybe paradoxically, one way I do that is to stay in the workforce, to strike a better work life balance.
Haha, right, the “we won’t get divorced” thing is so juvenile. Like, oh, dang, why didn’t I think of that?? My husband and I were standing around on our wedding day commenting on how we’d likely be divorced within weeks!!
Coach Laura says
I have a child in medical school and one who debated on whether or not to apply, so I’ve done a lot of research about med school applications, getting through, residency (his starts July 1) and fellowship. I see a lot of commenters (male) on studentdoctornetwork who look down on women in medicine who go part time or stop practicing and use it as an excuse not to admit women to medical school because it “wastes” a spot for a man, who – they presume – would never think to stay home or go part time. The fact that doctors and administrators think that really bothers me. But then, some women do stay home and while I support that for anyone, I can’t imagine going through the 12 year slog that is applying for, completing medical school and residency and fellowship and then to just quit. I would have been a terrible SAHM, could never have done it and I think most of the women doctors that I’ve met would agree.
I’m also risk-adverse and though they may have enough saved and live in a community property state and/or have a pre- or post-nup but I’ve seen too many doctors try to cheat their wives out of balanced divorce settlements. The fact that she could most likely not return to work even as a not-board-certified family medicine doctor adds to the concern. She would have had to keep her licenses current plus have some friends to hire her, as no one else would after 10+ years out of medicine. I’ve read stories (also on studentdoctornetwork) of women who wanted to come back who were unable to and it is heartbreaking.
And then there are studies that show that women graduates, first year out of residency, earned $17,000 less than men in 2016. This is apparently adjusted for specialties. There’s the age old argument that men work more overtime or call to support families, work in higher paying specialties and so on, similar to the reasons for the wage gap in the general economy. But you have to ask yourself if it is a reflection of the implicit discount women are forced to take on because authorities view them as more likely to quit and/or stay home or work part-time. I could write a thesis on it (and wish that I had become an employment/discrimination economist).
Sending non-food treats into daycare for a kid’s birthday, in this case stickers. Do I have to make goodie bags for each kid in the class, or can I just give the teachers the appropriate number of sticker sheets? I don’t want to make more work for the teachers but I’m thinking that if the kids can use the stickers during school it might be ok from the teacher’s perspective?
Asking the teacher to pass one one sticker sheet to each kid doesn’t seem like more work than passing out one cupcake to each kid, in my opinion!
Just give them the sticker sheets, for sure.
Is this a thing now? You don’t need to send something in because it’s your kid’s birthday. If you must, definitely go with the giving sticker sheets to the teachers for the kids to use during the day route.
Hasn’t it always been a thing to bring in cupcakes or something like that? My mom definitely did that at my preschool in the 80s. Our school doesn’t allow desserts and discourages any kind of food. They have a list of non-food items they suggest instead, and stickers are on the list. I don’t think it’s necessary at my daughter’s age (2) but she loves stickers (and trips to Target), so I think she’ll enjoy it, and it’s not a big cost.
Must be regional. I don’t remember birthday celebrations at daycare when I was a kid beyond singing to the birthday child and didn’t send stuff in for my kids or hear them talk about others doing stuff. Lots of birthday invites sent out at daycare so maybe that’s why as everyone went to the parties outside daycare time?
No goodie bags. I just sent the “treat” (swirly straws) in a bag and my kid passed them out to each friend. Same for valentine’s day – just sent the cards and a bag of novelty erasers.
(My kid is 5 and wanted to give his friends a treat since they gave him one on their birthdays. I wouldn’t bother sending anything if my kid was younger and didn’t care. I understand why we can’t send food, but this is just contributing to plastic junk in our house!)
Anyone have three car seats across the back seat of an SUV or car that does NOT have three rows? We already have a minivan and are not interested in adding another extra big vehicle to the garage. But we need a second vehicle that can hold all three kids. It would be a booster, front facing car seat, and infant car seat.
Does this unicorn vehicle exist?
No advice but following. For some reason I think the Tesla SUV fits three car seats across. I honestly do not know how many rows it has.
Posting a link below.
FWIW, I have found that the key is to get the narrowest possible carseats you can. As a car seat conniseur (I have 6… ), I aim for a 17 inch wide carseat. I currently have 3 across in a Volvo XC90, but have done 3 across in a variety of vehicles provided they’re narrow enough carseats.
It’s the cupholders. That’s what adds the width. What makes it worse is that in my experience, no good comes of giving kids under 3 any type of liquids in the car.
Yep, aim for 17″ seats and put the booster rider on the outside so they don’t have to wedge their hands between seats to buckle. You night not be able to get a infant base in, so think about whether you’re willing to put the bucket seat in baseless or just use a convertible.
I have a really old Subaru Legacy Wagon (2003), and I have a booster (driver side for the 8 year old ), a Diono Radian Front facing (in the middle for the 3 year old ), and. Chicco keyfit 30 (on the passenger side for the baby). The Diono and the Chicco are installed with the car’s seat belts – I couldn’t make the latch work three across- there is a little bit more wiggle room for positioning when you use the seatbelt . The hardest part is making sure the seatbelt latch for the booster is accessible so that the 8 year old can do it herself. I had to wedge it up to keep it from falling into the seat- and even now she is the only one who can buckle her because you have to have small hands to get the seatbelt into the buckle.
I have also managed this car seat configuration with my husband’s 2011 Subaru Impreza, but it is even harder to make sure the booster buckle stays upright and accessible.
I am contemplating either a Forester or a Mazda 5 when my car dies (which I think is imminent)- if anyone has opinions on those cars, I would love to hear!
We do! We have a BMW X5. FWIW I don’t think the issue is most cars (although our nanny’s RAV4 won’t work). We had two clek foonfs (both tear and forward facing) and an uppababy mesa across for a long time.
Yes, you can get 3 across in the 2nd row of an acrua MDX, which you can get without a third row. Also a Honda Pilot and Honda CRV.
I have been trying to figure this out for my CRV as baby #3 is on the horizon. Do you/anyone have specific recommendations? We currently have a chicco keyfit and a graco slimfit we’d love to make work…for the third we could do a FF combo seat (that kid will be five). Or I can get three brand new seats…cheaper than a new car!
I’m the poster above. The CRV is my moms car. She has a RF cosco seat, a graco nautilus FF with the 5 pt harness and a backless booster in the CRV. My older two are 4 and 6. My 4 y/o sometimes uses a high backed booster but not in the CRV- having the 5 point is easier to deal with than a normal buckle.
Try putting a narrow FF seat in the middle (Graco Tranzitions/Wayz, Chicco MyFit, Cosco Finale) and install them all with seatbelts so you can scooch them over towards the doors. (LATCH makes them have to be directly centered on the seat, so you lose some room.) The KeyFit and SlimFit are reasonably narrow, so it might work, but you also might need to replace the SlimFit with something narrower.
We have a 2014 Passat that fits 2 convertibles and a infant seat. We do have the slim convertibles (clek), and the chicco infant seat. We figured investing in the slim seats was cheaper than a new car.
It’s a tight fit, but our main vehicle is a mini van, so we don’t use it for 3 across much.
Marion Cateau says
Booster+infant seat+rear facing seat worked in my 2010 Lexus RX 350. We changed to a car with 3 rows when a few weeks after baby#3 was born but the Lexus was really spacious!
What is the going rate for the tooth fairy these days?
Has anyone’s kids ever “caught” them being the tooth fairy? What did you do? (Mine hasn’t, I’m just worried).
Mrs. Jones says
We give a dollar coin per tooth. No we haven’t been caught yet.
Emily S. says
The national average is $3.70, per tooth! That seems absurd to me, but I think the most I got in the late 80’s-early 90’s was $0.25. This article is amusing/educational: https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/5/31/18644508/tooth-fairy-rate-kids-traditions
We’re waffling between a quarter and a dollar gold coin. Curious what others do.
We do $5 per tooth but kiddo also knows that the money is coming from mom & dad, not the tooth fairy. My husband does put it under his pillow though.
$5 per tooth in Canada.
Hilariously one kid in my oldest kid’s class is apparently saving all his teeth so he can trade them in all at once for an Ipad. No idea if the parents are aware of this plan.
hahaha this is amazing. I hope he has a creepy jar of teeth just sitting on his dresser or something.
I hope his parents save them all in their filing cabinet until he’s 30.
We do $1 per tooth, and haven’t been caught yet. Last night we couldn’t find the tooth but left a gold coin anyway… I’m wfh today and this just reminded me to go look for the tooth in his bed, so thanks!!
The Bernstein Bears tooth fairy book has a funny bit about inflation, but luckily it was written a long time ago, so the “new” price is a dollar. My son apparently hasn’t benchmarked against other friends, because he is totally happy with dollar gold coins.
My big question these days is HOW did my kid find out about the tooth fairy?? We never did the tooth fairy growing up in my house and haven’t introduced the concept. TV? Kids in school? I was hoping to skip the whole thing… alas.
Re: getting caught. I regularly go up and kiss my kids goodnight before I go to bed, after they are asleep. It’s rare that they wake up (sometimes I trip over some toy they left out) but they know I do it. So, if I ever get caught being the tooth fairy, good-night kisses are my cover story.
Guys, I want a utility jumpsuit. I feel like it would be so easy for chasing kids on the weekends. Like Madewell style or there’s one at Alex Mill I really like. Enable me or talk me down.
For context I live in a large Texas city so these are more something I see on blogs than on my local playground… I’d definitely be the only one.
I definitely couldn’t pull it off, but you do you!
Personally, I hate undressing to pee. It’s chilly, and also uncomfortable in a public stall.
I usually wear at least a tank under a jumpsuit so I’m not super freezing when I pull it down to pee, but also consider that it may drag on the floor when you go to the bathroom unless you are paying attention to holding it up (not ideal in a public stall). Also, if you are wearing a jacket over it, you won’t be able to pee without removing your jacket.
I didn’t realize how polarizing this would be! (Or maybe I did and that’s why I asked?)
I actually rarely use public bathrooms – like my 5 yo I can hold it! – so that hadn’t occurred to me! Don’t wear jackets much down here for much of the year either… which means maybe I should go for it? Haha
You should! Happy to enable as well as point out potential issues. You wouldn’t have to worry about wearing a long enough top to cover pants that ride down — def a positive for kid-chasing.
I couldn’t pull it off, but I’d think you were very cool if I saw you out and about!
I personally find tunics (or shorter casual dress) + leggings + slip on sneakers or comfy shoes is just easier for me to re-purpose as a slightly more put together dinner out/brunch with friends outfit (add nicer jewlery, a scarf, real shoes, tights, etc.). A jumpsuit would very much be a ‘single use only’ outfit for me.
I live in the ‘burbs of a large Texas city (albeit one that is pretty fashion-obsessed), and I LOVE jumpsuits for running around after kids–so easy (one piece! no spanx!), and I don’t have to worry about any wardrobe of the malfunctions that can happen with dresses while running around the playground. The going to the bathroom part can be a pain, but honestly I don’t think it adds any time from dress/spanx. I thought I would look ridiculous when I tried on my first jumpsuit, but I fell in love and plan on buying more for spring/summer. So, I say go for it!
I was in the Air Force and wore a flight suit every day for a few years. It remains my favorite outfit ever, and now I’m curious whether I can pull off this civilian version…
Kids Menus says
Can I just take a minute to complain about kids’ menus? How many different forms of breaded chicken can you fit on a single menu? Seriously. I feel like every kids menu is: mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, and chicken fingers. Guess what, my kiddo wants none of that. (She loves mac and cheese at home, but hates restaurant mac and cheese.) I mean we deal, but seriously. Can’t you just have smaller portions of regular menu items?
I usually order one of the adult meals and take half home.
Right, seems pretty straightforward. Or, TBH, order an adult meal and split it with your kid. Because even an adult doesn’t usually need the adult portion size.
The whole point of a kid’s menu is to offer alternatives for picky eaters, which is a lot – not all, but a lot – of kids. If you want something on the adult menu, just order from the adult menu and take leftovers home.
+1. We love kids menu chicken fingers over here! (And mac and cheese FWIW.)
It’s not that I don’t understand that, and often we end up just sharing or ordering her something different. But to me the menu should also serve the purpose of offering smaller portions of a variety of foods at a corresponding price.
Kids can eat for cheap because they’re with paying adults, and restaurants would lose money if they offered smaller portions at corresponding prices to everyone who came in the door. If they offered a menu like this, could elderly people order off of it? Middle aged adults who say they have smaller appetites? Some restaurants do “lunch portions” at lower price points as part of their business model, but they’re nowhere near as cheap as kids meals usually are – it’s usually something like a 20% discount for half the food. The only way I could see this working is if they did the same thing on the kids menu. If you want to pay $16 instead of $20 for a half an entree, be my guest, but most of us would rather pay the full $20 and have the other half to take home.
I feel like this is changing? Most menus these days I see also have a ‘simply’ chicken(grilled plain chicken breast)/salmon(same)/steak option with steamed veggies on the side. We also frequently ask to sub in a small green salad or raw veggies for the fries, which helps get some actual nutrition into them.
I will also HIGHLY recommend BGood if there is one by you, their food is great/real and kids eat free some nights of the week.
Check the nutritional info though! I was horrified to discover that at one chain restaurant we go to occasionally the broccoli had way more (I think 4x?) as much sodium as the fries (to be fair, the broccoli tasted ridiculously salty, which is why we looked it up). We now order applesauce at that restaurant, which maybe doesn’t sound as healthy as broccoli, but I think is a lot healthier when you factor in the sodium content, especially for babies and young toddlers who really can’t have much sodium. I feel like restaurants can make even the healthiest-sounding things unhealthy.
Yes, agree. Take the salads that have as many calories as a giant hamburger with lots of fixings. At that point, just give me the burger!
100% agree!! BUT that only matters if you only care about calories. “unhealthy” veggies might still have more vitamins etc. that I care about for my kiddo who frankly needs to eat more calories. (e.g. you have to eat a lot of strawberries for dinner to totally ignore the calories and steak / pasta etc. little buddy… please for the love of G put some food in your mouth….)
I have one adventurous eater (4.5) and one normal-picky toddler (1.5). we just order adult meals and anticipate a to-go box. quite often we order ‘family style’ (a couple of entrees and a few appetizers to share), or you could go to one of those small-plates places that were all the rage a few years ago. also, my kids literally always prefer whatever is on my plate to whatever we have actually ordered for them, so there’s that!
Car shopping help! I’m currently driving a minivan and while it’s worked great for our lifestyle, I am SO OVER driving around a giant vehicle. By this time next year, both of my kids will be in elementary school. What should I graduate to next? I do not want a giant SUV — something the size of a Pilot is probably the max. Or maybe we should just go back to car life, although that would hinder our ability to participate in carpools (we’re about 1.5 years away from that, when older kid goes to middle school).
DH will not be super enthused about getting rid of the minivan (he loathes car buying in general) so I want to come armed with some decent options.
If you hate the size of a minivan, I would go small-medium SUV not large SUV. Maybe a VW Tiguan, Toyota Rav4, Honda CRV? Tiguan is my fav of those and on my list to replace the minivan in a couple years. There’s a third row option now as well.
Hmm, will have to check out the Tiguan. We had a RAV4 back when we had one kid. Liked the car, but dealing with that particular dealership (not to mention the recalls) was such a nightmare that we’ve forever crossed Toyotas off the list.
We love our CRV. But if you’re aiming to transport 2 of your own kids plus carpool kids, it’s not the way to go.
I’m team station wagon, rather than small SUV. I drove a Tiguan for a week on a business trip recently and it did not dee small to me! Conversely I drive our Mercedes wagon all the time and have no issues.
Emily S. says
My co-worker drives a Civic and his wife a 2-row SUV specifically so that he doesn’t have to do carpool. I’m laughing but I think I want to be involved in carpool, so when my beloved Mercury Mariner died, I got a Hyundai Sante Fe Limited Ultimate which has a 3rd row that folds flat. It is the biggest SUV I’d ever want to drive — I think it is about the Pilot size. It’s smaller than my sister’s Yukon. The Sante Fe Sport does not have a 3rd row option, I think. My FIL drives a Ford Escape that I like. There are so many small and medium SUV options!
Haha, believe me, the idea of carpool does not fill me with great joy. But without it, I don’t know how we’ll overcome the scheduling issues of actually getting our kid to school in a few years. (He’s currently in a before care program that offers early drop-off but is aging out of that option.)
DH just did a bunch of car shopping, and we ended up leasing a VW Atlas, which I like a lot so far. I did not tag along for any of the test driving, but I know he also considered the Pilot (runner up, but the Atlas was a lot nicer for only about $15 more per month), GMC Acadia, and Hyundai Santa Fe. He did comment that if budget weren’t an issue he would have picked the BMW X-whatever. Or the Tesla SUV, for that matter, but a $800+ car payment is decidedly NOT in the cards right now.
I’m looking around for the next year or two to replace (currently driving an 8-year old lincoln MKX) and without having test driven anything, my top “paper” picks are the BMW x5 and Infiniti QX60 (both of which have third rows), heavily leaning toward the BMW but struggling with the price point (from a “principle of the thing” perspective, not budget). Outside of the luxury market, I would be looking at the Ford Explorer, Jeep Grand Cherokee or Nissan Rogue, but by the time I get the upgraded engine and all the cushy stuff my spoiled commuter self wants, the prices are at luxury price point, so DH is pushing me to go luxury for the better value on the back end (vs a non-luxury with all the options). Friends of ours just bought an Explorer and a VW Atlas though and both of them have rave reviews (they are each 2-kid families).
Ugh, the lousy gas mileage of the VW Atlas and the Jeep Grand Cherokee (though the others aren’t much better) makes me so uncomfortable. There has to be a more fuel efficient option that works for your family. #climatechange
Also, if OP is concerned about size, these are both unwieldly. Between vacation car rentals and owned vehicles, I’ve driven an Atlas, Cherokee, Grand Caravan and Honda Odyssey. Odyssey was much less ‘large’ feeling compared to Atlas or Cherokee.
Thanks for your concern. I have a family of 5 and we need an all wheel drive vehicle. Unfortunately, as I mentioned, a Tesla is just not in the budget, since we’re prioritizing saving for retirement, college, and you know, luxuries like food, shelter, childcare and insurance. Rest assured I’m as concerned about the climate as anyone, and take all the steps to reduce my carbon footprint that I can while still balancing the reality of living in a car-dependent society. And before you ask, no, I will not consider disposing of my kids because of their climate impact.
If you have 3 kids there are a million car and suv options that are more fuel efficient than either of those. I know because I have three kids. It’s like the family across the street from me who ‘had’ to get a suburban when they had their third kid. Not necessary. If that’s your choice, fine but don’t pretend there weren’t alternatives at the same price point.
I will go one step further and add that one of the reasons I am getting pushed toward the luxury market is that I actually want my SUV to, you know, accelerate. With 300 hp and at least a V-6 engine. So that when I have to punch the accelerator to merge into crazy traffic, I can rest assured that the vehicle will actually go. Charging stations are not yet prolific enough that I’m willing to go all electric, and certainly not without a whole home (gas) generator (tack on another $5K) to deal with our frequent power outages. Hybrid options are on the table for discussion, but I’m still on the fence as to whether I want to go that route. As for the “large” feeling, I have driven a minivan (although it’s been a decade since) and they essentially drive like a boat. Even bulky SUVs have more a “truck” feeling than the bulky floating feeling of a minivan, in my experience.
I’m so glad to hear that you’re considering gas mileage in your decision. I’m surprised to hear that you need all wheel drive since you are coming from a minivan and it wasn’t mentioned as one of your criteria (hence the Honda Civic comments above). But since you are considering fuel economy, then at least I’m assured that you’re immediately crossing some of these terrible emitters off the list, as there are better options in all wheel drive for three kids, esp if you’re looking for something smaller.
Electric engines (including all electric and plug in hybrids, as well as normal hybrids in “sport mode”) have more torque than gas engines so you get more acceleration, not less from a car with a fuel efficient electric engine.
Many all electric cars now get 300 miles on a charge, so it’s unlikely that your power would be out long enough to run out of charge. And even then it sounds like you do have a second vehicle already if there is such an emergency. A whole home generator as back up is really unnecessary in any normal circumstance.
I hear you on climate change – although when I looked at the stats when we purchased the vehicle, I felt like a bunch of the margin would be eliminated when you took actual driving into account. (i.e. I am driving to work not in “perfect” conditions and I am a far from perfect driver).
I would TOTALLY plug the VW Atlas (or all VW for the matter) for anyone with long legs in the family. We sat in a million SUVs and the Atlas was one of two where my husband can comfortably sit it front of the car seat. I can sit behind him super comfortably to tend to kiddo too.
I don’t like driving large cars and I didn’t find it to be the boat I was expecting.
The Tiguan is also very spacious in the back seat (we had a rental this year). The trunk was also much more spacious than I expected (Compared to other SUV rentals we have had in the past in the same category).
The Kia Niro is a small-mid sized SUV. The best part is the gas milage. Mine gets 48-52 mpg, but the plug in version does even better. Depending on how far you drive, you might never need to get gas. Also, it’s super affordable.
PP Jeans says
My PP waist size is way bigger than my ankle size and I cannot find jeans that fit my waist and aren’t huge in my ankles. The huge in the ankles is a problem because they rise up all day long.
Has anyone found some jeans that I should try?
I should note that I am 6 mo PP with my 3rd. So I anticipate loosing some of the weight when he is done BFing, but I still have some time before that will happen.
The straight or true skinny from gap is my solution in a size that mostly fits my PP waist.
Old Navy Rockstar Jeggings
This is a problem that has plagued me greatly in the skinny jeans era. Athletic thighs + wide hips = much larger jean size than I need for my lower legs. You may want to try different fits for comparison: curvy vs. straight, or vice versa. I’ve had better luck with jeggings than just plan jeans. (Or look into some tailoring for the ankle area.)
I just bought a Subaru Crosstrek. I wouldn’t take it on a family roadtrip, but it’s great for running around town with my three kids (one in a booster) across the back seat. It’s so fun to drive a zippy smaller crossover instead of the giant 3rd row crossover I used to drive.
Obvs, in response to the car question!
Marion Cateau says
Booster+infant seat+front facing seat worked in my 2010 Lexus RX 350. We changed to a car with 3 rows when a few weeks after baby#3 was born but the Lexus was really spacious!