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Updated: Feb 24, 2019 106 Comments · by

Organizing Thursday: Water-Resistant/Fireproof Document Bag

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Water-Resistant/Fireproof Document BagMy house technically is not in a flood zone, and where I live is not susceptible to forest fires, but accidents happen. Frozen pipes can burst, an appliance could short out, and you could lose a lot of important things in your house. After a few years of extreme weather in the country — hurricanes, fast-burning fires, polar vortexes — I am trying to give myself the illusion of control. One of the ways is making sure some of our important documents are in a fireproof box. I don’t own this particular one by BLOKKD, but it is getting good reviews on Amazon and it is $45.94 and eligible for Prime. What precautions are you taking with your family’s documents, if any? Water-Resistant/Fireproof Document Bag This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5.23…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
  • Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
  • Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price item
  • Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more

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About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. Lana Del Raygun says

    I’m not sure how much good “fireproof for thirty minutes” is — my sense is that a full-blown house fire takes longer than that to be put out, and I’m not going into a burning building for my birth certificate. But most fires start in the kitchen, so maybe by the time they reach your office the FD is there and you don’t need that much time. Anyone who knows more about fires wanna weigh in?

    In any case I really like the idea of being able to grab everything quickly if you’re evacuating.

    • Anonymous says

      I’ve never understood safes for fire purposes, TBH. We have one because it was a random gift from my in-laws. It is nice in the respect that it functions as a location to hold important documents, which we’d need in any event. But nothing that is in there is truly irreplaceable. It would just be an inconvenience to replace. Things that are truly irreplaceable (jewelry and such) should be in a safe deposit box at a bank.

      • Anonymous says

        Adding that jewelry can obviously be replaced…I meant more heirloom pieces like my grandma’s wedding band.

  2. anon in nyc says

    I love love love our nanny for our 14-month old. I’ve seen other nannies in action and I know she is phenomenal and incredibly reliable – literally never been late in almost a year. She has a five-year old who is in pre-k, which is of course getting out for the summer. She’s dropped a few hints about how she’s not sure what she’ll do with him and I know she is feeling us out to see if we would be ok with him coming to work with her. My husband and I are not excited about this prospect. We’ve let her bring him for a few days in the past when school was cancelled for snow, etc. and I was not impressed with his behavior. I know he is five and I don’t think his behavior is crazy out of line for the age or anything, jumping on our couches, not listening to her when she says it is time to leave, throwing toys, etc. So we’d prefer he not be at our house five days a week.

    What can we do to keep our nanny feeling valued and happy but also not have her son come to work for three months? We’ve debated giving her a bonus to help pay for camps but I’m a little annoyed at having to pay for childcare for her kid and my kid. We decided we’d be ok if he came for two days a week but all summer would be too much. Maybe there is cheaper camp option for three days a week? We’re in nyc FWIW.

    • Anonanonanon says

      1. I would be very peeved that this apparently did not occur to her until now. Why is her child not in year-round childcare if she has a year-round job? If she was planning to bring her child in the summer, why didn’t she discuss that during the hiring process? I would be very frustrated if I were you. HOWEVER, I am frequently reminding myself that the type of person who is willing to/enjoy take care of other peoples’ children all day is going to be a VERY different type of person than I am, so I can’t expect them to always think/behave the way I would have in a situation.
      2. Good childcare is so hard to find. I would suggest telling her sooner rather than later something along the lines of “A few things you’ve said here and there regarding your plans for (child) this summer have lead me to believe that you would like to bring (child) to work with you this summer. We’ve talked it over, and we don’t think that is something we can accommodate 5 days a week. However, we are willing to try it out 2 days a week, if 3-day a week camps are a cheaper option for you. Of course, we’re sympathetic to the increased cost of childcare in the summer, and have decided to increase your salary by X for the summer months to help. I wanted to let you know that now so that you have time to make the necessary arrangements. Does this seem like an arrangement that will work for you?”

      Another arrangement that might help (if you’re willing) could be to let her have her son in the morning and early evening at your house. In the DC area, camps for school-age children are a lot easier to find/cheaper from 9-3 or 9-4 than for the entire day. Of course, this means your kid is getting dragged around for drop off and pick up every day, which I would not be thrilled with, but it could be an option.

      Also, someone with more experience may be able to speak to this, but are there insurance/liability concerns you need to explore regarding her child coming into your home? I know nannies are considered household employees, so if her child gets injured in your home/her “workplace”, what kind of liability do you have?

    • Spirograph says

      I’m new to the summer camp game, but my impression is that they are week by week. The options for partial-week care are limited and possibly non-existent outside of babysitters or other informal situations. If you can allow him to come with her for a couple of full weeks throughout the summer, that would probably be a compromise that is more useful for your nanny.

      You certainly don’t need to let another kid in your home if you don’t feel comfortable with that, but I urge you to reconsider because it absolutely is something that will affect your nanny’s happiness with you as an employer. Summer is different than an isolated snow day. The kids will likely be outside more, and there will be a consistent routine an a better opportunity to enforce standards of behavior. Maybe lay some ground rules and give it a test run?

    • Anonymous says

      I would offer that he can come part-time. Either 2 days a week or if the camp ends at 3-4pm, for a couple hours each day. If she has family helping/nearby then she may be able to swing part-time family care when she couldn’t get enough family coverage for 5 days a week or she may find it useful to be able to participate in camps that end earlier and not have to figure out after camp care.

    • Anonymous says

      Maybe you can be a resource for her and help her find some lower cost options? This is an interesting list:
      https://mommypoppins.com/ny-kids/free-and-cheap-summer-camps
      Of note, the NYC parks dept has a super cheap camp open by lottery, and the lottery opens tomorrow.
      I get why this is annoying but try to be compassionate. A lot of NYC camps are $500+ a week for coverage from 9-3, so she may be having sticker shock if her son was in daycare previously.

    • Anonymous says

      1- wait until she asks

      2- say no, that doesn’t work for us

      3- don’t pay her any more money.

      She’s trying to see how much she can get out of you. That’s not cool. Her full time job is providing childcare to your child. In turn, she needs to make a plan for her child.

      Don’t give in on 2 days a week. All of a sudden it will be 5

      • Anonymous says

        You can try this but you have to be prepared that she may quit. Day camps, especially to arrange for more coverage than 40 hours a week for a younger child, really expensive and if it costs her as much to keep her kid in daycamps as she earns (or close to it), she could easily decide to quit.

        • Anonymous says

          She might. To me, that’s kind of an oh well. I’m paying for one on one care of my child. If I wanted a provider caring for my kid and her kid, I’d be using an inhome day care. I’m not for a reason.

          Like, is she offering to take a pay cut since now she’s dividing her attention between her kid and mine?

          • Anonymous says

            But OP is asking specifically what she can do to make the nanny feel valued and happy because she is phenomenal. OP is not ‘oh well’ about the nanny quitting.

    • anne-on says

      Curious – what is she going to do once her son is in full time school (which as we all know, does NOT match with full time working hours as daycare does)? If she hasn’t planned for camp…which…um, that’s a BIG thing not to think about or just assume you can leverage your employer’s goodwill, I’d also want to have a conversation about her plans for school and after school care.

      • Anonymous says

        If he’s in free public preK in NYC he is likely already is on the public school schedule.

        • anne-on says

          Good point! I was/am SO jealous of free full day public pre-K in NY, man I wish that was universal already!

    • Anon says

      Personally, I don’t see much difference between him being there a couple days a week vs. everyday. Are you home when he’s there? If not, what are your specific concerns about him being there? (in other words, is his behavior simply irritating or is he leaving a mess, or is it a concern about him hurting your LO, etc.)

    • anon in nyc says

      OP here – thank you all for your thoughtful responses! Our nanny’s son is currently in the free pre-k and in after-school care for a little while. We 100% want to keep our nanny and want her to be happy. It is a nightmare finding good childcare and we have it and I don’t want to mess it up!

      I’m trying to pinpoint exactly why we don’t want him there and it is combination of things. I prefer to have her focused on my daughter – that’s why we went with a nanny in the first place – and I worry that she won’t have as much time/energy/attention to devote to our daughter, and that her needs will necessarily take somewhat of a backseat. Her son, from the little we’ve seen, is either demanding or on his ipad. I guess I don’t want my daughter to act like him or be influenced by his behavior either. I’m just not sure what we’ll end up doing. Right now, I guess we may offer a modified schedule (I can be home by 330 everyday if I get in by 7) and a bonus to help offset any camp costs, as well as have him come in with her when the camp schedule doesn’t offer coverage. We may offer to have him come for the whole summer even if that is not our top choice, I just keep going back and forth…

      • Anonymous says

        I don’t have a nanny, and I don’t live in an area where nannies are prevalent. So I very admittedly do not know the norms for nanny accommodations and schedules. But if this were me, I’d feel a lot like I was being taken advantage of. I’d really struggle getting past that feeling. I’d probably be willing to look for a new nanny if she quit after I said no, TBH.

        • Boston Legal Eagle says

          Yes, this. I also don’t have a nanny and am sympathetic to the need to keep good childcare, but this seems like a lot of accommodations you’d be making for an already very expensive childcare arrangement that’s supposed to convenience you.

        • Anon says

          I don’t see how it’s taking advantage given that the nanny hasn’t asked for these things. I think it make sense to offer great benefits to help keep a nanny you don’t want to lose – but it isn’t required

        • Anonymous says

          Maybe my view is colored by the fact that we’ve had several nannies and I haven’t been enthusiastic about any of them, but I think an excellent nanny is generally incredibly hard to find and is worth her (or his) weight in gold. I don’t think this is an unreasonable ask, although OP is obviously within her rights to say no, but even if it were…the nanny hasn’t asked!! On what planet is the nanny trying to take advantage?

      • Anonymous says

        Food for thought because you mentioned you want the nanny focused on your daughter and don’t think she’ll be as able to do that with her son around.
        Gently, people successfully care for more than one kid all. the. time. I rarely give 100% of my attention to one kid when the others are also physically present, but most children don’t need 100% of anyone’s attention. Even 1-2 year olds who are just mobile enough to get themselves into a ton of trouble. Unless your child or your nanny’s 5 year old is truly high needs, I don’t think it is a disservice to your child to have your nanny dividing her attention. If it means she can’t take your kid to group activities you want her to go to, that’s a fair criticism. But 5 year olds really don’t require much hands-on care or exceptionally close supervision in an averagely child-proofed home. I get that it might feel like you’re paying for her time and undivided attention and you won’t be getting your money’s worth if she’s also caring for her own kid, but I would be very surprised if the actual quality of care declined.

  3. Need votes says

    Hey ladies! I posted on the regular site, but I realized as a working mom (I have a 19 month old), I should post here, too! I am up for an award in my industry (semiconductors and electronics packaging) and voting ends today. If you are so inclined, I would love your support. You do have to vote in every category for it to count, so if you don’t feel comfortable, I totally understand. My name is Amy Lujan in the Engineer of the Year category. =3

    https://www.3dincites.com/3d-incites-awards/2019-3d-incites-awards-vote/

    • Anon says

      I’m voting but I hate industry awards that are just popularity contests, particularly if anyone can vote. It seems so unfair. You shouldn’t have to go out soliciting votes to win.

      • Need votes says

        I’ve never encountered this before, either because it doesn’t happen otherwise in my industry or because I’m oblivious. I do think it skews the results that people can vote more than once. Then again, I didn’t make the rules, I only play by ’em.

        • Anon says

          It’s not the voting more than once that is weird, or at least it’s not just that. It’s that any odd person off the street can vote regardless of whether they are in the industry or know anything about it

      • Need votes says

        Sorry! I only posted asking for votes once on the main site, and once on this site. Yesterday and today I only thanked the people who voted, because I thought it was sweet. But I will indeed shut up about it now!

  4. Sleep training? says

    My twins are approaching the 4 month mark and I’m thinking about sleep training. There are so many resources that it can be overwhelming to start. For those who sleep trained around 4-5 months, what did sleep training mean to you? Teaching baby how to fall asleep and stay asleep independently (unswaddled?)? Eliminating any remaining night feedings for a full 12 hours of sleep? Are there any particular books or methods you’d recommend? If anyone has experience sleep training twins I’d love to hear that, too.

    • Anonymous says

      Are they EBF, combo fed or formula fed? If EBF, do they tandem nurse or nurse individually? In my experience, how they sleep before 4-6 months is a good indication of how they will be in the future – like do they both wake and feed on a regular schedule or does one sleep longer than the other?

      I found twins easier than my singleton because their lives are so busy and stimulating, that they usually fell asleep feeding and just had to transfer to the crib. Usually left our hands on their tummies for a couple minutes after putting them in the crib. They slept together swaddled in one crib until 8 months. Our biggest issue was timing the overnight feeds. Because mine were borderline pre-mature (exactly 37 weeks), neither I nor my doctor were comfortable going more than 6-7 hours overnight between feeds unless they slept longer on their own without fussing. One of the twins would sleep an 8 hour chunk overnight a few times a week and I didn’t wake him to feed. We combo fed, timed their feeds and DH and I went to bed at slightly different times so that we usually each managed to get a 6 hour stretch of sleep most nights. Sleeping with an eye mask really helped me sleep through when DH got up to feed one during my 6 hour sleep period.

      Based on other twin moms, the biggest challenge is figuring out what works for each baby because they are individuals so like CIO may work for one but not the other.
      One may be able to go a long stretch overnight without feeding but the other may need to nurse. Sometimes they sleep best in one crib, sometimes two cribs in one room, sometimes they need their own room either for sleep training period or for longer term. We did one crib in the master bedroom until 8 months and then two cribs next to each other in their own bedroom.

      • Anonymous says

        Yeah, during CIO phases we move one twin into a pack-n-play in the office.

    • fallen says

      Good luck! I have had a lot of trouble doing nights only – it led to a ton more crying than necessary and didn’t really work (baby would regress every few months). I know a lot of people do that and that’s what our ped recommended but I to this day feel so guilty for doing nights only because it led to unnecessary crying and was miserable for everyone involved. I am sure it works for some babies but didn’t work for ours.

      I ended up doing this with both of my kids and they have slept 8-7 with practically no crying since, the comments have a lot of details too: http://www.babykerf.com/baby-sleep-training/

      I highly recommend, but the downside is you have to do it once you are sure they don’t need to eat at night (so probably at 6-8 months).

      • Sleep training? says

        Thank you both. They are formula fed and scheduled during the day. They were full term and I’ve always let them do their natural long stretches at night; at first waking the other when one woke up. Now, twin A seems ready and able to sleep through the night so I usually do not wake her when twin B occasionally wakes up to eat. So far their sleep has taken a pretty natural progression to sleeping through the night so I’m not even sure they will need to be sleep trained. But, we never sleep trained my toddler as a baby and kind of regret it as we eventually had to do cry it out when he was older.

        • Anonymous says

          I wouldn’t sleep train unless you need to. Don’t try to fix what isn’t broken.Lots of times CIO has to happen more than once anyway – after illness, vacations etc have through the usual schedule out.

          FWIW, my twins have always slept better and longer than my oldest. I think a house with three kids is just so busy and chaotic that they are worn out by bedtime. Like my 7 year old gets up at night more often than the twins at age 4.

    • RR says

      I didn’t “sleep train” my twins until they were about 7 months, then we did full extinction CIO, which worked great (but is not for everyone and should not be tried if it’s not really for you, because it can make things worse). At 4 months, we were working on getting them to fall asleep in their cribs. Honestly, until 7 months, they would fall asleep in their cribs, then when they’d wake up, we’d put them in swings for the rest of the night. Desperate times! I did like the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book–there’s a twin version that I tried to follow.

    • anon says

      i guess we were lucky with our twins and also tried very hard to avoid props in the beginning other than swaddles, so ours never really had a problem falling asleep, except for on occasion when we relied on the rock n play until the 10pm feed. is your issue falling asleep or night wakings? by 4 months one of my twins was basically sleeping 12 hours a night, swaddled, and we were phasing out waking her for the dream feed. we unswaddled each once they could roll onto their stomachs because it isn’t safe and just switched to sleep sacks. it took each one a couple of nights to sort out sleeping on their stomachs, but then they were ok. for my other daughter, who is smaller, at 4 months she was having a dream feed at 10pm, but still waking once in the night to eat. since the dream feed wasn’t really doing anything to help her sleep longer we cut that out, but kept feeding her once during the night. she basically just grew out of that around 5 months. sleep begets sleep so you want to make sure they have a good daytime schedule with appropriate wake times. i actually found the files in the facebook group ‘respectful sleep training/learning’ really helpful and there is a twin group as well. good luck! it is sooo much better once they sleep.

    • Anonymous says

      Honestly my daughter needed to eat at night (once) until she was 6 months old. Then she magically started sleeping 12hrs a night. When she had regressions later on due to teething/illness is when we had to do the Ferber method which worked like a charm. I know with the next baby we’ll wait until 6-9 months to sleep train as well.

    • Anonymous says

      Especially with twins 4 months is probably too soon to eliminate night feedings.

      • anon says

        By 4 months, my (full-term) twins were no longer having night feedings. As they grew, their bedtime bottle size grew. That was really the extent of our “sleep training” at that point. They didn’t get food. If they woke up, one of us would give a cuddle and put the baby back in the crib, but they didn’t get a morning bottle until at least 5 am. They learned to ignore each other really fast and now they’re five and will sleep through almost anything during the night, although we have always relied on a white noise machine all night long.

    • anon says

      We sleep trained our twins at 3 months right before I went back to work. We did full extinction/CIO because that’s what worked for the worse sleeper of the two. We also did CIO for overnight wake ups.

      At the same time we started to sleep train, we also added a dream feed. Bedtime was 7pm and then spouse went in right before we went to bed (usually around 10/11pm) and gave them each a bottle, one at a time, without fully waking them. That way, when they woke overnight, we knew they weren’t truly hungry.

      We opted to eliminate the dream feed by slowing reducing the amount in the bottle until we dropped it altogether, but if you prefer to keep an overnight feed, the dream feed was pretty painless compared to the unknown of overnight wake ups.

      • Anon says

        How did you know they weren’t actually hungry? 3 months seems young to expect a baby to not feed at night

        • Anonymous says

          Not the person you’re replying too, but presumably because the wake-ups were soon enough after the dream feed that it was obvious from the timing that it wasn’t hunger. A 3 month old can’t be expected to go 12 hours without food, but if they’re getting a dream feed at 11 pm and waking up crying at 1 am, it’s safe to assume they’re not hungry at that point.

          • Anonymous says

            Not anon above but how can you assume that? If they are EBF and CIO at bedtime then they may miss an evening cluster feed and need to eat more frequently overnight. Eating every two hours might not be common but definitely happened when my kids where in a growth spurt phase and under a year.

          • Anonymous says

            Well if they’re constantly eating every two hours that’s a different story, but she said they’re formula fed and on a regular schedule. If they go 4 hours between feeds during the day, it’s fine to make them go at least that long at night. And I don’t think anyone is talking about leaving an infant to cry it out for hours. Even if it’s hunger that initially causes the wake-up, if they quickly resettle and go back to sleep, what’s the big deal? It’s good for them to learn that nighttime is for sleeping, not eating.

    • Anon says

      We did sleep training with my daughter at 4 months and it was very successful. We put her down totally awake after a nice bedtime routine with no swaddle or pacifier (she could roll by that point anyway, but had previously loved the swaddle) and let her figure out how to fall asleep without any bouncing, rocking, etc. We did Ferber-style check ins but honestly she only amped up the crying when we went in there to pat her. She was small for her age and I wasn’t comfortable with her not eating for 12 hours, but I didn’t want to “reward” wake ups with milk. Solution for this was a dream feed at like 2am (I had to set an alarm for this, which seems crazy), but she went right back down after eating with no complaints. The key was that no other wake ups were answered, but the dream feed made me feel better because I knew that if she did wake, it wasn’t because she was starving (and she had previously done longer shifts without eating before the dreaded 4 month regression hit). Once they learn how to fall asleep 100% independently, they are able to put themselves back down throughout the night. It got better for us very quickly. I really liked the 3 part series on sleeping through the night by the Precious Little Sleep blog: https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/ although she recommends waiting until 6 months, which we didn’t. Good luck! Can’t imagine it with twins!

    • Sarabeth says

      I did not have twins, so take this with that enormous caveat. We sleep trained both our kids between 5 and 6 months. We did not eliminate all overnight feedings at that age; my kids were small babies, so I wasn’t comfortable with that. We did CIO at the baby’s bedtime, then a dreamfeed at my bedtime, then I would feed them again if they woke up after 2 am.
      I’ll say, though, that CIO sucks. It was 100% the right choice for our kids, who were both disastrous sleepers at that point. But if you’re kids are sleeping ok, I’d go with that for as long as possible. Some babies learn to sleep without any sleep training! Maybe you’ll get lucky!

    • Anonymous says

      We didn’t formally sleep train so much as naturally let them figure it out, but we also got lucky with very good sleepers.

      They were NICU babies, so at 3 months were on a bottle-feeding schedule of every 3 hours during the day and every 4 hours at night (8pm, midnight, 4am). At 3 months (2 adjusted) they started sleeping through their midnight bottle, but we’d still feed them both the first time one twin woke up. Around 4 months (3 adjusted) we stopped ever offering milk before 4am (and slowly pushed that to 5:30am). If they woke up between midnight and 4 we’d offer them a pacifier, since we were pretty sure they weren’t actually hungry. If they woke up after 4 they got a bottle and we’d wake their sister up to feed her, too. We kept the 8:30pm dream feed until 6.5 months, because we figured it increased the chances of them sleeping until morning.

    • AwayEmily says

      I really like The Good Sleeper by Janet Kennedy because it takes a very science-driven, even-handed approach that gives different strategies depending on your comfort level with CIO, but I don’t think she has a specific twin section. Good luck!

      • Sleep says

        This has all been really helpful and given me some useful strategies to help them sleep without worrying they’re hungry. Thank you!

      • Sleep training? says

        This was all really helpful and has given me some strategies to help them sleep without worrying they’re hungry. Thank you!

  5. clothes says

    How often do your clothes wear out? I have noticed mine wear out super quickly, which is driving me nuts (I don’t have time to buy new clothes!). I know we should be washing clothes on delicates and air drying which should help, but it doesn’t always happen.

    • Lyssa says

      I feel like its really, really variable, and not always predictable based on brand/cost. But in general, I’d say that I get 3+ years out of knit tops, more if they’re a sort of smoother fabric (not like a sweater, I mean), and I’ve always found that I get a lot of time out of work skirts and pants. (I’m wearing a skirt today I bought around 2010, and it doesn’t seem worn at all IMO, and I still have suits from law school, which was 10 years ago.) (Yes, I try to make sure I’m buying basics, not trends, and these are mostly from mall stores (BR, AT, The Limited)).

      I habitually wash almost everything on the delicate/handwash cycle, with Woolite, and air dry, which I think helps a lot.

    • anne-on says

      Totally wear out or become dingy enough that work tops become weekend tops? I’d say about every 3-4 years? More with nicer brands (3-4 years is for like Banana/Ann Taylor/Jcrew, less for Gap/OldNavy). Skirts/dresses/etc. I tend to give away or age out of before they wear out (5+ years at least). My mom only ever washed on cold/air dried school/work clothes so that’s what I’ve always done. Underwear/socks/pjs/towels/sheets still get washed normally and dried warm/hot, so doing one load in gentle with woolite and handing dry doesn’t seem all that onerous to me. It also helps that we have a hamper just for delicates so things are already separated for me before I do laundry.

    • TheElms says

      This partly depends on how large your wardrobe is because it affects how often you actually wear your clothes. When I was younger and had a smaller work wardrobe, stuff wore out faster because it was in constant rotation and likely worn weekly. Now I have a much bigger wardrobe its more common for items to be worn every other week or once a month. Stuff lasts longer.

      Also, I have no luck with knit tops that are sweater material. I’m lucky if I get a season or two out of those. Its a shame because they are comfy to wear and work well for me under suits or blazers.

    • Cb says

      My wardrobe is pretty small – about 10-14 work outfits on rotation, and I do find that things wear out pretty quickly. However, it doesn’t appear to be brand or price dependent. I have fancier things that look shabby and no-name Ross leggings that I’ve been wearing for 7 years and look new.

  6. Anonymous says

    I know this has been discussed before, but talk to me about spacing your kids. Here is a whole bunch of information about my specific situation – looking for your thoughts on what would work. My daughter is 16 months and still nursing about 4 times a day. I don’t really want to wean her to nothing, but I require fertility treatments to get pregnant so Clomid may kill my supply to that point. My ideal would be to start trying when she’s around 18 months, but we are moving in July (20 months) so I was going to just wait and avoid switching from one RE to another. The kicker is that we are moving for a one year position for my husband. So he’ll be starting a new job next July or August which means we could be moving with a super newborn, or I could be delivering in his first month or two at a new place. I am probably just borrowing trouble because it took 15 months of off/on treatment to get pregnant last time but the uncertainty is driving me crazy.

    • Anonymous says

      I haven’t had fertility issues, so forgive me if this is oversimplifying, but couldn’t you try now without any intervention and if it happens, it happens? And then you can do Clomid, etc. when you feel more ready to wean and/or you’re settled in the new place?

    • Anonymous says

      You have no idea when you’ll get pregnant stop picking this scab and making yourself crazy. I’d wean now and try and get at least one cycle in with the RE I know and had success with.

    • anon says

      No advice on spacing, just wanted to suggest that you check with your RE to see if your clinic will allow you to move forward with treatment while nursing. My clinic requires that you wean fully before doing medicated cycles, even just Clomid, so that may influence your decision about when to start trying again. Good luck!

    • Anonymous says

      Just pull the goalie at 18 months. After you’ve moved and settled, find an RE you like. 2/4 couples I know who needed Clomid for their first, got pregnant with baby #2 without any interventions.

    • Anonymous says

      I mean, I’m not religious at all, but this is a “people plan/ god laughs” situation IMO. I wanted to be done having kids by 35, and had my first when I was 29.5. It took me 9 months to get pregnant. I had my second 2.9 years later, took 6 months to get pregnant. We started trying when #2 was 14 months so we could hopefully have the 3rd before I turned 35 figuring it could take almost a year, and hey, I got pregnant the first month and ended up with 3 under 5 (and missed the kindergarten cutoff so all at home/in daycare) and 2 under 2. That first year was crazy. We paid for a lot of support. But now? There is a light. Youngest is 18 months. Middle is in preschool. Oldest is in kindergarten. They all play well with each other and together. They are 2 “grades” apart in school even though the younger 2 are 22 months apart and the older 2 are 2.9 mi this apart.

      There are pros and cons to everything. They are super adaptable and can deal with whatever life/space issues you have. My older 2 share a room by choice and my youngest is desperate to move in. We have 5BRs.

    • rosie says

      Talk to your RE. A conversation does not mean you’re going to start cycling right away. You may not be able to start treatments until you’ve been weaned for a certain amount of time. You could also get an opinion from your RE about whether waiting will hurt your chances or not. Hugs, these are not easy things to figure out. I know that no one can predict when they will get pregnant, but fertility treatments add a whole other level of uncertainty.

      • Anonymous says

        Thanks, I guess this really is where I need to go next. I should talk with her even if I don’t end up pursuing treatment before we move. Part of my hangup is that this is RE-specific, so some will “let” you breastfeed while undergoing treatment and others are more restrictive.

    • Anonymous says

      Trying to plan pregnancies with any specificity is a fool’s errand, irrespective of whether fertility treatments are in play. You have a lot going on for the next 2 years with the move and the existing toddler. An infant + other kid is always a lot of work. Life is going to be a little hectic, and no amount of planning is going to change that. My advice is to make the decision right now that you will roll with it, whatever happens. If your ideal spacing is 2-3 years, I’d talk to your RE, then potentially pull the goalie now, and wait to consult an RE for further treatment after you move. If you are ok with wider spacing, you could wait until your husband’s 1 year assignment is well underway so it will be several months behind you when the new baby comes. Does he know what the next move after that is? Do any of the potential outcomes there change your decision to have another child?

    • lawsuited says

      My mom’s comment when I found out I was pregnant with #2 much sooner than planned is the best I’ve heard on the subject: there’s no good time to have a baby, there’s no bad time to have a baby.

      My general feeling is that if you and your partner are ready for #2, start trying now. Don’t wait for life to be ready because it never will be. There will always be logistical challenges; just as you solve a bunch new ones will crop up. My experience is that the joy the new baby brings eases whatever inconvenience he/she causes.

  7. Anonymous says

    How long do you let your kids work on a sippy cup of milk for? DD just turned 1 and we’re transitioning from formula to milk during the workday. She still nurses morning & night so getting her to drink any kind of milk during the day is a bit of a struggle, but that’s probably another topic. With formula, we strictly followed the “discard 1 hour after feeding begins” rule, even though I realize that’s aimed at newborns and probably not as relevant to young toddlers with much more robust immune systems. If it matters, we buy organic, ultra-pasteurized milk that is shelf stable until opened.

    • anne-on says

      If it helps, we had much better luck getting with straw cups as opposed to sippy cups for faster drinking. My kid would take forever to finish a sippy cup but straws sped up the entire process. We also do ultra-pasteurized milk and I’d be comfortable with it out for a few hours (say breakfast into lunch). Or just set it back in the fridge and serve it again at lunch/dinner?

    • anon says

      Um…24 hours? Just kidding, kinda, but we serve milk with meals only and if there’s a significant amount left in the cup at the end of the meal, we put the cup in the fridge and bring it out at the next meal. Then I often end up adding more milk into the same cup, so it only gets washed if it a) happens to be empty at the end of mealtime or b) it’s been 24 hours because that’s my cutoff.

      • Anonymous says

        This. We’ve been doing it for 2 years now and my kids are still alive, but milk is never out of the fridge for more than 30-45 minutes.

        On weekdays we pour a fresh cup of milk at breakfast and then it goes back into the fridge for the day. We pull it out again at dinner and either add more or just let them finish the morning milk, depending on how much is left. If there’s still milk left after dinner the cups will go back in the fridge and I’ll usually dump the old milk into a fresh cup at breakfast time, but I also keep a mental note of how old it is and won’t top it up with “new” milk until the old stuff is drunk (and on the rare occasion it’s been more than 30ish hours since that milk was first offered I’ll just dump it).

      • Em says

        +1 except I think we’ve kept the same cup in the fridge for up to 48 hours. We typically only offer milk 1-2 times per day though, and the cup is never out for more than 20-30 minutes at a time because I am very diligent about putting it back in the fridge. If it stays out longer than 30 minutes then whatever is left gets dumped and the cup gets washed.

    • Cb says

      We offer the shelf-stable oat milk so I’m pretty comfortable with topping it up when necessary / putting it back in the fridge if he doesn’t finish it.

    • Anonymous says

      My kid would not drink cow’s milk that had turned sour, so I never worried much about germs, but we didn’t let him carry it around all day. We served milk at meals and then put it back in the fridge between meals.

    • Anonymous says

      This is such a reminder to me that all kids are different. Kid is 4 and I can count one one hand the number of times he did not suck down the entire cup of milk (or before that, bottle) in one go. Only when sick.

  8. anon says

    Does anyone have kids that are nearing 2 that still wake up 1-2x nightly? Our DD has slept through the night maybe 10% of the time since she was born and we’re expecting another baby in 3 months. I just don’t know when this will end and how we’ll manage with two kids.

    We go in when she calls for us, and spend about 30 seconds telling her to lie back down. She does and then sometimes she doesn’t wake until the morning. Other nights, like last night, she’s up every 30 minutes from 2:30-4:00 am, where I finally gave her some milk and motrin. I have no earthly idea what the issue is. She just wants us to hold her, but if we tell her to lie down, she does. Her teeth have come in much slower than normal, so maybe that’s the issue, but sleep has been generally much worse from 12 months onward than when she was a baby. She takes about a 1.5 hour nap and sleeps at 7:30 pm and wakes around 6:30-7:00 am.

    Just so depressing to have a high-energy toddler during the day, a spouse in a super demanding job, and then get such interrupted sleep while pregnant. I have such anxiety about a newborn, primarily because the older one is still not a good sleeper. Also, if she can’t sleep in the crib, I don’t know how we’ll ever manage in a toddler bed. I don’t even know what to do.

    • Anonymous says

      Leave her in the crib and get a new one for the new baby. If she’s around two and doesn’t have her molars, that is probably a big factor. We saw a noticeable improvement in sleep once teething was 100% finished. Lean into the phyiscal contact in the evenings to fill up her tank of snuggles/cuddles while she is awake. Keep her in childcare full time if you can afford it so that you can nap when the baby naps during the day. Take turns with the nighttime wake ups and sleep with earplugs when it is DH’s turn to get up.

      • Anonymous says

        Agree. We also had a slow teether, and the stretch from 19-24 months was really rough on her. Canines were the worst (and took like 2 months to come in), and molars were rough too. The teething made her cough a bunch. It was awful. Does she already have a pillow in the crib? If not maybe try that or a more substantial one. And maybe a water bottle in the crib so she can get drinks when she wakes up?

      • Anonymous says

        Maybe also give her a stuffed animal in her crib, if you’re okay with that. My kids started wanting hugs from her animals when she was upset right before she turned 2, so we let her take her current favorite to bed with her each night and I think it helps.

    • Anonymous says

      Have you tried offering a bedtime snack (peanut butter, calorie-dense pouch, etc.) and pre-emptive motrin? If you do that and she still wakes up, you can at least rule out hungry or teething pain.

      Do you go in as soon as she calls or wait a bit? My almost 2-year-old will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and call for Mommy, but if we wait 5-10 minutes she almost always puts herself back to sleep. She also then tells us in the morning that she slept “really good!” so I figure she’s fine being ignored.

    • Anonymous says

      Yes and t is the worst. She finally stared STTN At 2.5 at which point she started potty training at night and waking to pee and having a heck of a time going back to sleep. I have never had so much coffee.

      • OP says

        You guys are the best, thank you. I don’t know anyone IRL that has a child close to 2 that still has issues sleeping, but I’m so glad there are people out there and my parenting isn’t a total fail.

        Great idea on snack. I have tried tylenol/motrin, but hate to give it for more than 2 days in a row when she’s not sick. Some nights it helps and others not.. We do go in pretty quickly. I’ll wait 10 minutes before going in. It already wakes me up so much when she wakes up and while I could get back to sleep easily before getting pregnant, I now have the hardest time falling back asleep once she’s up.

        • Anonymous says

          Fwiw, my daughter is a horrible teether (though thankfully at least a relatively fast one – she is 14 months and has 10 teeth). We have typically had to give Tylenol (before bed only) for several weeks straight for each tooth. Our ped ok-ed it. Round the clock medicine for a month straight is very different than once daily medicine for a month straight.

          • Anon says

            We had the 12 month molars and the canines back to back and were also doing motrin nightly for a month or two, and ped and dentist both okayed it.

    • GCA says

      I did, but that’s why my kids are 3.5 years apart! This sounds a lot like my first kid, who has never, ever been a good sleeper in his entire life. For the few months before and after age 2, I’m pretty sure the issue was teeth, so agree with the pre-emptive meds.
      I wouldn’t assume that keeping her in a crib will mean better sleep – I *might* consider a toddler bed or big girl bed. My son actually slept better when we moved him to a toddler bed.

      • OP says

        I wish we had waited but it wasnt that bad when I got pregnant and has progressively gotten worse, where the nights she sleeps all night are more rare. Does your son sleep through the night now? I just have this idea she’ll be waking up nightly for years and years ugh.

        • GCA says

          Hugs! If it is any comfort (it varies so much kid to kid!) he does sleep through the night now. And gets himself down out of his junior loft bed and goes potty on his own. I’m still greeted with a little voice in my face going ‘mama? i’m hungry! mama?’ at 6am every morning, but we generally don’t hear from him between 8.30pm and 6am.
          Also, who knows – the baby might be a great sleeper! We had incredibly low expectations for baby sister, but since ~2 months she’s woken up once or twice at night to eat, tops. (I definitely have lower standards/ expectations than other parents due to kid 1 sleep training us, but I feel like my kids tend to be a little hungrier at night around 6-9 months, once they start crawling and before solids are really firmly established.)

    • EP-er says

      I’ll just say my first was not a good sleeper until… 3.5? About the time I was so miserably pregnant with number 2 I couldn’t sleep. And then number 2 also wasn’t a good sleeper until…. 3? 5? At 7 she still gets up occasionally. Looking back, I wonder if I should have done things differently. (and the answer is yes. but what? I had my reasons for what I did at the time…)

      So no advice from me — just a whole bunch of sympathy. And try what ever these other moms suggest!

    • Anonymous says

      I think it’s pretty normal for humans of all ages to wake up during the night for any number of reasons. You can’t always prevent that, but you can teach her to go back to sleep without interacting with anyone else. So maybe don’t pop up the second she does and start trying to troubleshoot- let her fuss around a little bit and see what happens.

  9. anonymous says

    Anyone have a recommendation for a good leak proof sippy cup for milk? Looking to transition our 1.5 year old away from bottles but I need something that will not leak in her lunchbag (so it needs to seal shut and stay that way). Preference for something non plastic. Does this exist????

      • Leatty says

        We like this, but be warned that while they won’t leak when tipped over, they will when thrown on the floor or beaten against a surface. Ugh

        • anonymous says

          Have you had luck with the lids staying on? I like them in theory, it they seem to fall off as soon as the cup gets knocked sideways in a bag.

    • Anonymous says

      I’d lean towards a typical Thermos type container. We have the Thermos Funtainer for water and really like it. It’s bigger than you need for milk (probably), but you don’t have to fill it all the way. The cap is plastic, but the container is stainless. The straw is plastic + silicone. They’re great for cleaning – it all comes apart and goes through the dishwasher well.

      • Anonymous says

        +1 for Funtainer. It will keep milk cold until lunchtime, never leaks if you install the straw correctly, and holds up well in the dishwasher. I also love the fact that you can easily purchase replacement straws.

      • Anonymous says

        Not the OP, but does anyone know of something similar that’s smaller/would fit in a lunchbox? This would be perfect for my kid, but since we only need to send 4 oz of milk, a 12 oz thermos is overkill.

  10. Anonymous says

    Why would you get this instead of a normal fireproof lockbox? I can’t believe that something made out of fabric would hold up as well as a hard-sided fireproof box.

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