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There are some fabrics and patterns that put me in the mood for fall — soft flannel, nubby corduroy, and of course, plaids and checks!
This Glen check blazer from Ann Taylor will autumn-ify your wardrobe. This tailored blazer has all the traditional features (notched lapel, two-button front, flap pockets), but is completely machine washable. The neutral color and pattern play well with anything from dress slacks to your favorite jeans. Add the matching pants for a fun suit.
The Greenwich Blazer in Glen Check is $198 (Ann Taylor often runs sales or provides coupon codes, so check often!). It’s available in 00–18 as well as petite sizes.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
Alternative to Crocs? says
My 5 year old gets terrible blisters on the backs of her heels from Crocs (both in current size and going up a size). We’re in the South, so we have a few weeks of warmer weather. Anyone know of an alternative to Crocs that might work? Ideally a slip on and breathable/can be worn without socks.
anon says
Natives?
Anon says
My kid got horrible blisters from Old Navy knockoffs of the Natives. Maybe the brand name is better, but that type of shoe always gives me blisters.
anon says
My kids have lived in them for years and years. Obviously it depends on your kid’s feet, but worth a try if you haven’t tried them yet.
Anon says
Is this for all-day wear or just at the pool? I would think pretty much any water shoe would give blisters if worn all day. We’re in the southern Midwest so not the deep south, but it gets to “feels like” 100 pretty regularly in the summer, and my kid just wears sneakers. I think kids are generally a lot less sensitive to hot and cold than adults are. At least mine seems to be.
Anon says
I like the Oscar and Austen water shoes from Target. My kids are prone to blisters and these have been great for us. The Oscar is easier to get on. They also wear them out and about (not just when near water)
Anon says
Joybees! You can get them at Target (the ones my kids have are called “Tatum River Pull-On Sandals”) and it looks like they are on clearance right now. Similar to Crocs but the back is neoprene so waterproof but won’t cause blisters. And the front of the clog flares out a little so they’re less likely to cause blisters on the sides of their feet, too!
OP says
Thank you all! I ordered a pair of Natives and a pair of Joybees Creek Sandals and some spray on blister block to keep on the shoe rack. Fingers crossed!
anon says
Any suggestions for helping a kid learn their 6, 7 and 8s multiplication facts?
Anon says
I would vote for a private tutor if your child is truly behind and needs help, otherwise just letting the teacher teach it. I still remember how unpleasant it was being quizzed by my dad on multiplication tables at the dinner table, even though he did it in a nice way. And I’m someone for whom math comes very easily.
anon says
Kid isn’t behind at all, but her teacher has asked us to reinforce these facts at home. I’m hoping to keep it fun, as I also have negative memories. For addition facts, for example, we played lots of Sleeping Queens.
GCA says
There’s a game called 7 Up where you go around counting in sequence, and for every multiple of 7 you say ‘up!’ instead of the number – that’s a fun one. I don’t have any other good games, but our school recommends Tang Math for grades 3-5. Also, I had a very good memory as a child and basically memorized the times tables in K before I really had a grasp of what multiplication meant – do not recommend as that is rote memorization, not learning!
Anonymous says
Once kids understand the underlying concept of multiplication, rote memorization of multiplication facts is actually needed. Kids who don’t have their facts solidly memorized have a horrible time with fractions, 2-digit multiplication, long division, etc. etc. etc. Skip counting by 6, 7, and 8 and learning the Schoolhouse Rock multiplication songs are helpful. Printing out a bunch of hundred grids and having kids cross off every 6th, 7th, or 8th number is another way to practice skip counting. Some kids do well with a toy called Learning Wrap-Ups, but my kid didn’t like it. 99.9999% of children hate flash cards and being drilled on arithmetic facts at the dinner table.
Anon says
I’m not so sure about that. I have two math professor parents who told me multiplication tables were just something you just had to memorize. Understanding the concept of multiplication in general is important, but I’m not sure there is a way of learning the actual tables that doesn’t involve rote memorization.
Anonymous says
My 3rd grader has been doing Tang (“Tangy Tuesdays!”) since 2nd grade as challenge work. It’s a huge hit. She doesn’t like her new teacher this year but was placated that she also does Tang :)
CHL says
My kids like the game Proof. We mess around with different rules but it’s flexible.
Anon says
Maybe this is not good educational method any more, but we sang the multiples to different familiar tunes when I was growing up. We had a song for each of 2-9, though I don’t remember what they all were, think songs like Yankee Doodle or Old MacDonald had a Farm. When I hear the jeopardy song today, my brain still starts singing 7, 14, 21…
AIMS says
My mom quizzed me on walks and somehow i don’t remember it as being bad, maybe because we were going on a fun walk and it was kind of like a game?
Io says
Have you considered multiplication circles?
Also instead of quizzing, just y’know, repeat them with your kid? That’s really the only way (also, if they know all the reverses, they only need to learn 6×7, 6×8 and 7×8)
Anonymous says
The mnemonic “5, 6, 7, 8” is good for 7 x 8. 56 is 7 times 8.
Anonymous says
Have your kid quiz you back. See if they catch your wrong answers.
Mine loves to throw math equations at me and then have me get them wrong ;)
Kart says
There are songs for these. I can still hear them in my head from elementary school… “6-12-18-24 thiiiiiiiirty 6-12-18-24 thiiiiiirty… thirty six! forty two! forty eight! fifty four! sixty!” “seveneeen fourteeeeen twenty ooooooone twenty eeeeeeeeight…” Ahem, sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, you can probably find these on Youtube. Have your kid listen to them until they memorize them like any other song.
Anon says
Would you intervene in sibling arguments in this scenario. Twin A has started to say to Twin B that she won’t/will play with her on the playground at school (this is their first year in separate classes, but have joint recess) if you do/don’t do X. When X is something like giving a toy i try to stay out of it, but lately Twin A seems to think she is helping me and X is things like trying to get Twin B to take medicine when sick, or trying to get Twin B to stop clinging onto me when I’m trying to leave for work, etc. lots of things that have nothing to do with Twin A at all. In these latter scenarios it feels like Twin A shouldn’t be involved at all and I’ve been trying to figure out what to say. Thoughts?
anon says
I’d remind Twin A that she’s not his mother. That’s your job.
AIMS says
+1. My daughter does this with my son a bite and I just say, “not your job, please leave the parenting to the parents, thank you.”
Anon says
How is Twin B responding? I guess I’d be inclined to ignore it, and/or redirect it so that it’s less demanding. My twins get really upset when the other is struggling, so maybe it’s just misdirected concern. Twin A sees what you are doing, and is trying to replicate it? I’d try to as much as possible say “See Twin A really wants you to feel better, so she’s showing you how to take your medicine!” or “Twin A is worried about how sad you are – Twin A, can you please go get Twin B’s favorite toy?” I would assume good intentions, poor execution for Twin A, and try to bring her in as a helper.
As far as the playing thing, I would lean pretty hard into asking Twin B how that makes him feel, and if he has any suggestions.
OP says
Yes I think Twin A is coming from a good place. She tends to be very empathetic and often cries when her twin cries. There are not enough parenting books out there re twins
Anonymous says
If I were Twin B I would find this commentary very grating and want Twin A to leave me alone and mom to stop harping on how great Twin A was.
HSAL says
Yes, as a mom to four year old twins this would make everything worse.
Anon says
You do you, but I have 4 year old twins and a 6 year old, and this is how I would handle this situation. My kids do not fight. We get comments from daycare workers, strangers, cousins, random folks all the time about how incredibly well my kids get along/how well they support each other.
Twin A wants to help, but doesn’t get it right. Help her redirect. It will also be more successful than asking her to stop something, in my experience. Hunt, Gather, Parent would back me up on this. Similarly shocking advice that I credit as brining my kids together – not against each other, but I have never punished a kid when my kids are playing together, and someone gets hurt. Taking a step back, I’ve watched my friends punish the “aggressor,” and their kids are quick to point fingers when a kid inevitably falls or gets bumped when kids are playing. We just gave the hurt kid a ton of attention, and asked the other kids to check in on the hurt kid. Without a worry of getting in trouble or being yelled at, my kids now instinctively take care of each other – and look out for each other more, rather than taking on a defensive posture (“he started it!!”).
There’s not a ton that I can say I have done really well in my life, but I’m proud of how well my kids get along. If you have a kid who is “helping,” embrace the help – just have her do it in way that Twin B feels supported by. The “controlling” stuff just says to me that she needs to feel some power over something, so just figure out how to empower her. Much more constructive and likely to achieve your desired result than telling her to just bu++ out of the conversation.
anon says
I wouldn’t let the playground thing go on. It feels too manipulative and gets awfully close to bullying. If Twin A doesn’t want to play with Twin B, then she doesn’t have to, but she shouldn’t be using it to manipulate Twin B. It’s especially bad if Twin B is struggling a bit at school and wants to play with Twin A for emotional support–I don’t know if that’s happening, but it has that flavor.
For my kids, my policy is that we’re kind to our sibling and treat them with respect. That doesn’t mean they always have to play together, but they aren’t allowed to be affirmatively mean. It’s fine for Twin A to say “I’m upset that you wont’ share X so I don’t want to play right now” but she shouldn’t say “I want you to share X and if you don’t I won’t play with you at recess (implied: so you’ll be all alone).”
Pogo says
Little Pogo at Kinder update: He has been bringing his doll (lovey/comfort item) and keeping her in the very bottom of his bag since they technically aren’t allowed to bring stuffies to school. But, he told me, “Even if I can’t take Baby out, when I go near my cubby I feel her love and I’m not sad.” 😭
Cb says
Aww, that’s so sweet! T is warming up to breakfast club and is Mr Social at the playpark on non-aftercare days. He finished his 2nd of 4 judo free trial sessions and wants to continue, maybe just for the outfit.
He did horrify his dad this am:
“A teacher bumped into me at breaktime and I spilled my snackbox on the ground! It’s funny how the dirty snacks don’t taste any different than the snacks that haven’t been on the ground?!”
My husband has been felled by a horrible flu and is annoying all of us with his Victorian invalid with an iphone routine. But not sure T’s “Mama says a little dirt makes you stronger, maybe you should have had more dirt!” assertion helped.
Anonymous says
That is hilarious. I’d lean in to the joke and make the dirt and worms dessert.
AwayEmily says
Oh man that is adorable. Yesterday my 4yo came home with a picture he had drawn of me, my husband, and both his sisters, each one of us with a thought bubble over their head containing a tiny drawing of his lovey. He told me matter-of-factly “Everyone in our family is thinking about my lovey.” The kid/lovey bond is no joke!
Pogo says
omg that is PRECIOUS.
Anon says
Hahaha I can see my 4 year old doing this too.
Anon says
Bereavement Leave — how long did you take/would you give?
My beloved nanny – who is dependable and a wonderful part of our family – lost her father over the weekend. We gave her the week off prior to his death, and are giving her this week off as well. Should we give more time? He was sick for a very long time, and she was assisting in supporting his care in her home country. We also helped her to fly home so that she was able to be with him and her family without jeopardizing the financial support she was providing the family. I know she is having a really hard time, but I’m not really sure what the right thing to do is. I’m leaning toward having her come back as planned next (unless she requests more time), and then see how she seems to be doing.
Anon says
That seems plenty generous to me. 3 days of paid leave is pretty standard in the corporate world.
Anon says
Which is absurd. I think what the OP had done for their nanny is perfect and doesn’t need to be more unless she asks. A nanny who works in your home is not the same as the corporate world. In my office you can get up to a week with some manager discretion. When I lost my mom, 3 days would not have been close to enough and I’m Jewish and you are supposed to not work/be in initial mourning for a week.
Anon says
I agree the corporate world isn’t a perfect comparison but it goes both ways. On the one hand, a nanny is more like a family member than an employee of a large corporation is and should be treated better. But on the other hand a corporation can better absorb the temporary loss of an employee than a family can. I do agree 3 days is not enough time off, but I think at most employers there’s an option to supplement with vacation leave or unpaid leave and many people I know did that.
Anon says
OP here. Thanks to all of you who have responded. I asked in part because I needed to mentally gear myself up if others have needed/taken longer leaves! Sounds like the time given should be enough to feel okay about having her come back and get back into a routine.
Regarding corporate America – even reading yesterday about how terrible most US companies are for maternity leave, I am not comfortable as a employer using corporate America as a guide for what is right/fair/just.
But, also as a practical matter, she’s also driving my kids, taking care of them out in public, etc. If she’s not emotionally ready to be back to work, my kids are less safe. So, doing the right thing here feels like a win/win/win.
Anonymous says
Probably not a ton of state laws would apply in this digested worker situation, but worth reviewing. Our state does allow (for qualifying employers) significant protected bereavement leave separate from paid bereavement leave (so, similar to unpaid fmla). Most states don’t include a single family domestic worker situation in that, but some might. You could also just talk to her. If she is really not ready return and she’s otherwise a very good employee it would be crummy to lose her over this.
Anonymous says
DOMESTIC worker – digested was a horrible auto correct.
EDAnon says
We get 5 days at my job and expect people take all of it for a parent. With international travel, I think two weeks is really nice if you. I think your plan is really kind and makes sense.
Pogo says
I think you’re being very supportive and that the time you’ve given is sufficient. Has she asked for anything else? Consider how she is feeling too, even if she’s having a hard time, working might take her mind off and she may not WANT to be off any longer.
Anonymous says
I think two weeks is plenty of time. I lost my dad at age 24. Everyone grieves differently, but it helped a bit to get back to my “new normal” routine sooner rather than later. Not that you asked, but keep checking on her. It was so awkward when people tiptoed around me/acted like my dad never existed.
anonM says
+1. I lost my dad in my 20s too. I think I went to work after like a week, but I was very emotional still so be gentle and make sure to leave written reminders for anything important. If this is a long-term employee, calendar a reminder to yourself on November 1 to check in (especially if the nanny celebrates Christmas) – first holiday season is hard, and the 1 year anniversary. Depending on your relationship, you can at least acknowledge it and/or be aware if they seem “off” that week you can assume it is grief and just move on. If you have no idea the 1 year mark is coming up, it could be confusing.
Anonymous says
This seems like enough time. If you want to make another gesture, you could remind her that she should take advantage of personal days/ vacation days to help her cope going forward. For example, I know people who have taken a personal day on a deceased parent’s birthday, and that kind of thing.
anon says
I posted this on the main board but my comments take forever to go through there. I’m feeling guilty about giving my notice because it will further burden my already overburdened coworkers, whom I really like a lot. I’ll be doubling my salary and eliminating my long commute. Work will be less stressful and the additional time at home will be good for me and my family. We have had a LOT of turnover lately due to our abysmally low salaries. I know it’s management’s problem to solve but I still feel guilty.
An.On. says
Don’t feel guilty! It would be weird to say you’re keeping your low pay, long hours and stressful job so your boss and co-workers aren’t unhappy. And when my co-worker friends start leaving, that’s usually the kick in the pants for me to start looking too, and it’s always ended in a better situation for me as well!
Anon says
Don’t feel guilty! Your employer is getting the natural consequences of their actions.
Anonymous says
Have a few shots. It will pass.
Anon says
This is such a random response, but I am here for it.
Bean74 says
I kind of want a coffee mug with this saying on it! So applicable to so many situations!
Pogo says
it’s solid advice
Anonymous says
Shots Shots Shots, are you visiting from the main page? If so, please hang around a while.
EDAnon says
Feel guilty for a bit but know it will pass. It isn’t your problem and you can be as nice as is reasonable in this situation. Once you start your new job, I think that guilt will fade quickly especially if you were grossly underpaid.
My husband did the same thing and while he misses his good boss, he doesn’t regret leaving at all. It’s the orgs fault he left.
Anonymous says
Please try not to feel guilty. I’ve been on the leaving side and on the “oh sh!t she’s leaving?!” side too. You never know: your departure may be the kick in the pants your colleagues need to ramp up their job searches too.
EDAnon says
True. I mentioned my husband above. When he left, they hired two more people and promoted his super talented colleague so she was making a lot more than she had been. I don’t think that would have happened if he stayed.
Anon says
Favorite maternity brands or specific clothes? Last time I was pregnant it was the beginning of the pandemic and I somehow survived off of leggings and big shirts. I also never got very big so got away with wearing non maternity clothes for a longgg time. I’m only 5 months and as big as I was at 40 weeks the last time (carried super small).
I go in occasionally for work and office is casual/business casual (jeans OK) and I have a few court appearances before I deliver (where I plan on wearing the same thing each time). Seraphine, pea in the pod, what else am I missing? Im in NYC if that matters.
AIMS says
Honestly, I really liked Old Navy and Loft for maternity clothes. I think I had a dress or two from Seraphine for when I needed to be dressed up for work but separates from ON and Loft pretty much got me thru just fine and I actually really liked the stuff I got.
And this was pre-pandemic so I was going in full time.
anon says
I’ll agree with this. Loft was a go to. I’ll also add that Seraphine dresses got too short for me late in my pregnancy with my second as I carried larger making the dress appear shorter (I’m 5’8″).
I also did Le Tote maternity for dresses when seasons were changing and I needed work dresses to cover just a few more weeks.
AwayEmily says
I think Loft has mostly gotten out of the maternity game — I relied on them a lot during my first pregnancies (2016 and 2018) but when I was pregnant a year ago there was almost nothing on their website. Looks like it’s still super sparse.
Anonymous says
Any pieces you specifically remember that might be drifting about on Poshmark? I drool over Seraphine, but Loft is more my price point (there’s a joke here about Princess of Wales taste on a Kate Middleton budget or something).
Anon says
I’m 5’11” but wore Seraphine dresses until the end. However I was heavily pregnant in the winter and I think you can get away with shorter hemlines when you’re wearing tights.
anon says
It may have been how I carried. I was both large and carried high. By my last month if the dress blew you could see my hoo-ha. Not a good look, even with tights.
Wallflower says
I rented my maternity clothes for work from Le Tote
AwayEmily says
Honestly I had great luck with Target maternity (plus, easy returns!). I’m an academic so also business-casual, and like 90% of my maternity wardrobe was Target (accumulated over three pregnancies). Generally went with black pants or jeans/top/blazer or cardigan. For more formal occasions, dress + blazer.
Mary Moo Cow says
I loved Isabella Oliver but it’s been 5 yeas for me, so I can’t speak to the quality now. I bought a few dresses and t-shirts, a mix of new and thrifted (poshmark, thredup.) I wore the dresses for months post-partum (nursing friendly and insanely flattering and comfortable.) When I was done, I sold them (worth every penny, imo, but recoup some of the expense was nice.)
Anonymous says
Any advice on waking my 3 year old up earlier in the mornings? Now that I have to go back to my office in-person, we need to get out of the house about 45 minutes earlier in the morning in order for me to be on time. My kid has been really unhappy with being woken up earlier (around 7, he used to get to sleep in until 7:45-8 ish). I’ve been trying to put him to bed slightly earlier, but he’s just chatted with his stuffed animals for a while rather than falling asleep earlier.
AwayEmily says
The earlier bedtime takes awhile to kick in if his body is programmed to fall asleep later. I’d keep trying with the earlier bedtime, and take a week where you give him a small dose of melatonin + run him hard during the day. I bet he’ll get there.
Anonymous says
Honestly we used melotonin for a few days to set bedtime an hour earlier, at the beginning of the school year. There was no way the kids would have just gone to sleep an hour earlier, but like 0.3 MG did the trick. The other alternative is just wake them up earlier and in a week or so they’ll start getting tired earlier. Be aware it will definitely cut into your evening (I had not missed starting to get ready for bed at 7 pm particularly when all the other kids on the block apparently go to bed two hours later than mine and he’s jealous but, dude, you are super high sleep needs and I need you to make it through the school day).
Anonymous says
Not an immediate fix, but don’t tell him when daylight saving ends.
EDAnon says
We have been going through this since kindergarten starts a lot earlier than we would arrive at daycare. We had to move to up and out of the house. There is no downtime in the morning – no playing, no TV. It’s been hard on all of us but especially my nearly 4yo. So know that you have to do it and then also that it will take time for you all to adjust. (We are still adjusting and it has been 2 weeks).
AwayEmily says
Any ideas for relatively high-fat baked goods/snacks? Either pre-made or recipes. My 4yo seems to be in a much better mood when he gets some fat in him (though he would love to live off of goldfish alone). I make the “superhero muffins” a lot but need to rotate some other things in.
Anon says
YummyToddlerFood is good for this. Recent hits with my toddler have been the yogurt muffins with blueberries and peanut butter muffins.
Anonymous says
Tortilla chips with guacamole. Anything with peanut butter. Full-fat cheese sticks.
Anon says
My banana bread recipe requires a full stick of butter. Recently made scones with a full stick of butter too.
AnonATL says
Peanut butter banana baked oatmeal? One of my faves. It’s got like 2 cups of peanut butter in it.
Anon says
If you have a Costco membership, their Aussie Bites are high in fat and delicious. Other go-to’s are a whole fat yogurt pouch, smoothie with chia seeds, or a cheese stick with crackers (my kids like the buttery club crackers that nutritionally don’t offer much but are higher in fat).
AwayEmily says
What kind of full-fat yogurt pouches do you get? I can only ever find low-fat ones at the store.
EDAnon says
Not the same poster but we get Stonyfield. Strawberry beet berry is the favorite. I have started buying it at Walmart because the per unit price at the grocery store is crazy high.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
All the suggestions are solid. Here are a few that haven’t been mentioned:
– 5% F*ge Greek Yogurt! If you want to sweeten it, honey, granola, and bananas are all great options.
– Sheera (indian dessert) is a really popular fatty, sweet option for kids. Add extra butter or ghee. Plus it has nuts, so extra fat. Seeing this shows me how easy it is to make, and that I should stop relying on my Mom to make this for kids…
https://www.thespruceeats.com/semolina-halwa-dessert-1957814
Anon says
We freeze yogurt into popsicle molds – usually plain greek yogurt with a little bit of honey or jam mixed in. Can add some fruit for texture. It’s a great breakfast or snack and somehow more exciting than just eating yogurt from a bowl.
Scilady says
My friend recently found out that her husband took out a $150k loan and used it on a risky investment. It seems like he lost everything. Understandably, my friend is furious, especially since this not the first time he has done something like this. Apparently she already was responsible for all the accounts, but this still happened.
She seems to think that divorce in name only is the answer – she reasons that at least she will not be responsible for future financial losses. However, she envisions him still living in their family home with her and their two young children.
I’m trying to figure out how to support my friend without getting too entangled. We also regularly hang out with their family. To me there are two issues here a) financial loss of $150k and b) trust issues with husband doing something behind her back. I can totally understand if she wants to divorce, but I’m worried that even if she divorces she’ll still basically be on the hook since she’ll be supporting her husband and kids if they live in the same house.
Thoughts on how to manage this or what her next steps should be? Anyone aware of a) how debts are split in MA upon divorce and b) good divorce attorneys in greater Boston?
Anonymous says
Try to find a way to be supportive without getting involved or advising her: leave that to the professionals. In fact, suggesting professionals you trust to advise on this could be the best way for you to help her. One of my closest friends got divorced recently. Her ex still runs her life and their kid’s life. Honestly the friendship has faded because of it. I wish I had just stayed out of it but they had both been my friends for two decades so I naively thought I should give her advice. That was wrong on my part and I’d do it differently if I had it to do over again.
Pogo says
This is super yikes to me and I would have a hard time supporting someone who wanted to keep this person in their life. I would try to convince her to go to therapy and at least work through what she’s dealing with.
Anonymous says
The thing is all of your questions are about getting in tangled. Obviously she needs a real divorce. But that’s on her for being still focused on the fairy tale. Not yours to solve and frankly doesn’t sound like she’s asked you to meddle.
I think you can stick with “you need to speak to a lawyer to protect your self and your kids.”
anon says
She should pull and review all credit reports for the family. If she hasn’t, she should also consider putting a credit freeze in place for both of them, as well as their kids. Basically, make it harder for him to take out credit without her knowing about it.
Aunt Jamesina says
Sums that large makes me think of my in-laws’ friend who has a gambling addiction. He has done things like this over and over. She has stayed (they’re now in the sixties). Frankly, it has ruined their lives. My FIL even stupidly gave him thousands that he would pay back “soon” and of course they haven’t seen a cent of it.
I would tread very carefully as I would in any other friend’s divorce, but if she asks for input, encourage her to speak frankly with a lawyer about protecting herself and any kids financially. I’d bet a ton of money (hah) that this isn’t the first or the last time he’s done something like this.
anonM says
+1, my thought too. And anon above is right about credit monitoring for friend and the kids!
Anon says
I don’t think divorce in name only is a solution. I remember from tax law in school that if you get legally divorced to avoid the marriage penalty, but you stay living together in the same house and clearly are still a couple, you can get in big trouble with the IRS. So I imagine this same logic would apply to this situation.
Toddler dress shoes says
Help! Where do I find non-painful shoes for a toddler boy to wear with a ring-bearer suit? He has very wide feet and a very low tolerance for any kind of pinching.
Kart says
I’d do a super-simple slip on, something like this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D3XGDYL/ref=twister_B0859HF2R3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1. The canvas will be flexible and comfortable, and no one is going to care what shoes a toddler is wearing.
NYCer says
I would probably just go with dark colored sneakers or Adidas white leather sneakers and call it a day.
anonM says
Children’s Place uniform shoes.
Anonymous says
Late, but we got our toddler white velcro Vans in this situation. I think kids’ shoes for stuff like this need to be clean (probably new) and probably not flashy (though for being a wedding guest, we got him some squeaky penguin (the most formal animal) sneakers that were a big hit). I agree with another commenter that no one will be unhappy your toddler is insufficiently formal, you just want to be relatively low key, clean, and look like you made an effort within the constraints of having to dress a preschooler.
Anon says
My 4.5 year old doesn’t like loud noises (e.g. pressure cooker, blender) except for the TV of course, complains often of things “that light is too bright!”, “My leg hurts!”. Is this standard behavior or a yellow flag for minor sensory stuff? He’s also a bit of a whiner (ugh) so I’m not sure if this is part and parcel of that behavior.
Anonymous says
I thought all kids don’t like that kind of loud noise? At least that’s tru for both of mine and most kids at my younger kid’s preschool are scared of the toilet flushing. Otherwise temperamentally I have one kid who is more likely to complain of how things feel, lights, leg hurting etc than the other; he was evaluated but still in the abnormal range for sensory issues. Some people are just more sensitive.
Anonymous says
Still in the NORMAL range
NYCer says
Both of my kids disliked “loud” noises (blender, vacuum, automatic flush toilets, etc, etc) – I use quotes, because I am talking about things that would never phase an adult. Seems normal to me.
Anon says
Hey, this adult doesn’t really like the blender or vacuum either. Those are objectively loud noises.
AIMS says
One of my kids used to cry when I brought out the vaccum.
AIMS says
My 4.5 year old has all the same complaints and also that he gets cold randomly (no problem if he is playing outside even if it cold but if he just woke up or is bored then he wants a blanket). Funny enough he never complains when it’s something he likes doing. I think it’s all normal.
Anon says
I think it is sensory-related but also extremely normal at this age. Many young kids have trouble using public toilets because of the loud automatic flush.
OP says
Thank you all! Yeah I didn’t think it was much above the threshold of regular age-appropriate behavior but just wanted to get a gut check.
And I’m pretty sure my son is still scared of the public restroom toilet…
Colorado says
I’m traveling to Charlottesville, VA in October and looking for a babysitter. Any thoughts on where to find one? Any local Charlottesville people who know of nanny services I could call etc? TIA!
Anon says
This is what our reunion page recommends:
https://www.law.virginia.edu/reunions/child-care-reunions
FVNC says
Hopefully not too late in the day for you to see…
You could try emailing the nursing school; years ago they kept a list of students who babysat. Also, there is a Charlottesville Grad Student Babysitting group on FB (I don’t have personal experience with it; friends have recommended).