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Boden always has a wide selection of washable workwear, and this nice fit and flare dress is a great example. I like the flattering shape, the high neckline, sleeves, and the work-appropriate hem length. It’s sold out in the black and black/ivory stripe but is still available in navy (lucky sizes only), yellow, and a bright blue stripe, in petite, regular, and long sizes 2-18. Boden ‘Maggie’ Ottoman Dress
Two plus-size options are here and here.
(L-4)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
PregLawyer says
Trying for number 2 – and Zika. I live in a pretty much mosquito-free zone. This summer I’m visiting family in the midwest (lots of mosquitos) for a couple of weeks. We were going to pull the goalie and start ttc number 2 in July, but now I’m wondering if I should just wait until summer is over and mosquitos (and any trace of Zika, no matter how small) are gone. Is that completely dumb and an overreaction?
Meg Murry says
I don’t think it’s an overreaction, but as of right now Zika doesn’t seem to have spread north. Honestly, from what I’ve read it’s probably a matter of when, not if, Zika makes it to the US – so honestly, trying this summer might be safer than putting it off until next year when it is more widespread.
But if it makes you feel better, it’s not crazy to wait until fall.
Anon says
I think you can also do a lot to limit your exposure to mosquitos, like avoid being outside at all costs and using a ton of (admittedly toxic) bug spray if you are.
MomAnon4This says
Toxic to mosquitos.
Generally not considered toxic — and even considered safe and desirable — for pregnant women and developing fetuses.
Please be aware!
JJ says
I live in Texas, which is very likely the first place the Zika mosquitoes will spread to (hooray!). There have not been any positive mosquito tests yet in the state, and they test daily for a variety of diseases, including West Nile. I would think it will be several months, at the earliest, before it spreads. If waiting makes you feel better, I think you should do it. But you can also just limit your time outside while it’s dawn and dusk in the Midwest, and wear mosquito repellent if necessary.
Also – where is this magical place without mosquitoes? At any given time, I have at least 3 bites on me somewhere…
Anon says
Small correction – the Zika mosquito bites most during daytime hours, not dawn/dusk. There is lots of info on the cdc’s page (link to follow). I’m currently pregnant in DC (mosquito central) and my midwife is not super concerned – I think it has to do with the density of mosquitos not being high enough to spread diseases.
All that to say, I think the risk is fairly small in DC and northward, and you can take steps to protect yourself. But obviously do whatever you’re comfortable with.
Anon says
http://www.cdc.gov/zika/fs-posters/
JJ says
Thanks for the clarification! I didn’t know that. I’m so used to hearing the advice to avoid West Nile, which is a real concern where I live.
Anonymous says
Also pregnant in the swamps of DC. Aside from my own personal reasons, I’m following the Zika news and research carefully because I’m just interested in epidemiology, and my take-away is that there is really not enough information to narrow down my worry at the moment. At what point in the pregnancy does Zika stop being a huge deal? There’s anecdotal evidence that it can still be a problem even late in the 3rd trimester. It affects brain development, and brain development is still rapid in the first couple years of life. So how much do I need to be worried about infants/toddlers?
And then transmission: I’ll wear bug spray and long sleeves, whatever, but the s3xually transmitted aspect is a little more scary. My husband travels quite a bit to Southern states. I’ve heard recommendations of up to 6+ months of condom use after a man’s confirmed Zika infection, and really that’s just a guess because there isn’t enough research right now to nail down whether this is a persistent virus that can hang out asymptomatically for a period of time but still cause new infections. Then there’s the incubation period, so a week or two no matter what after return from a trip to an area with local transmission.
BUT there is no local transmission identified in the US yet. So yeah, agree with Anon above. I think the risk is small; I wouldn’t avoid pregnancy in your case, but it’s also not crazy to be concerned.
Anon for this says
I am (unexpectedly) pregnant with #2 already and to say that I’m not a bit worried about Zika would be a lie. But I’m no more worried about Zika than I am about Down Syndrome, or other genetic abnormalities, or a whole host of other extremes that could go wrong with this pregnancy. And at least with Zika, I feel like I can control it a bit (limit outdoor time, wear full coverage if outside and use bug spray, avoid places outside with lots of mosquitoes). I guess what I’m saying is – it’s fine to be scared and cautious. But there are so many risks already to worry about, this probably shouldn’t play largely into your decision-making at this point if you live in the US.
Katala says
I found out I was (also unexpectedly) pregnant with #2 literally the day we moved to Texas. So following this thread closely…
Katala says
Meant to say am.. I am pregnant with #2. Still sinking in.
Anne says
Also pregnant in the northeast. Until there is even one locally transmitted case of zika in the US, I don’t see a reason to worry. As soon as there is one I’ll start taking precautions but I feel my chance of being the first locally transmitted case is so low it’s not worth the long sleeves and bug spray yet.
Carrie M says
I actually posted a few weeks ago re my concerns re Zika because I was in an obsessive phase during my first trimester worrying about it. One thing that has calmed me down a little bit is looking at the raw data. For instance, the CDC reports that there are 903 locally-acquired cases in Puerto Rico (meaning they contracted the virus by a mosquito bite in PR, and not from traveling to another area). There are 142 cases in pregnant women. The population of PR is 3.5 million. So 0.026 percent of the population is reported to have Zika; in pregnant women, it’s about 0.004. There’s a good chance there’s under-reporting, but even if we multiply that by 10, it’s not as much or as rampant in PR as it is in other places. It can obviously still spread there, so the numbers may well rise. But looking at those numbers helped me to feel like it’s not inevitable that I will get Zika if/when we begin to see locally-acquired cases in the continental US.
That said, it’s still really scary. So, I don’t think it’s an overreaction to wait if it will make you feel better. Either way, the CDC has some helpful info on its website re precautions to take (though I think they need way more!). For instance: The mosquitoes likely to carry Zika are actually big daytime biters, so precautions shouldn’t be limited to dawn and dusk.
Momata says
I’m reading this to be asking if you should wait one month (from July to the “end of summer,” after your trip). I would wait, just because I know I’d drive myself batty with mosquito precautions and wondering if I was coming down with a fever while potentially also not knowing yet if I was pregnant. It would completely ruin my trip. Perhaps you are better at getting out of your own head than I am. But I’d put it off one more month.
Anon for this says
Did anyone have a baby while in law school? DH just finished his first year and I’m thinking about bringing up the idea of trying to have our first sometime before/during the fall of his 3L year (and if it doesn’t happen quickly, revisiting later rather than risking a bar-study baby). On one hand, I know his schedule should be really flexible by 3L (and he will most likely be in a lot of evening classes whether or not we have a baby) and it might be great for him to have so much time to bond with the baby (and we’d probably figure out a mix of part-time nanny and taking advantage of the 4 in-town retired grandparents so that he can go to school and study). But I’m worried about how he could study for the bar (and then start a new, stressful job) with a baby under a year old. We would probably have the baby in day care while he’s studying for the bar, but that still seems like a lot. Financially we would be fine, but mentally & emotionally, is this crazy?
Maddie Ross says
Honestly, I knew several guys whose wives had babies while they were in law school. I think it would a lot easier to be the spouse than the pregnant woman/mother (probably the biggest difference is breast-feeding there). In reality, it’s not going to be all that different for him to have a baby while in law school and even during bar studying than while working. In fact, it may be easier.
TBK says
Nah. I didn’t have a baby in law school, but I don’t think studying for the bar with a baby would be that hard. While the bar takes lots of prep, it’s not actually very complicated material. It sounds like he’d have a solid 8 hrs of baby-free time each day (assuming baby is in full time daycare), which is as much as anyone needs. If you have the resources for him to decamp to a hotel for the last few nights before the bar, and definitely for the night(s) in between test days, that would be great.
Anonymous says
If you’re ready, I say go for it. I didn’t, but I wished I had. I got pregnant 3L year and had a baby during my first year out of school. Having a baby during law school would have been much easier in a lot of ways, especially if I had grandparents in the city where I went to law school. I’m not sure what your job requires of you and how much maternity leave you’ll get (or are you in law school too?). I started two new stressful jobs with babies under one year old (so I’m probably not the best for giving advice on planning!) and still breastfeeding. It can be done, and plenty of people do it. There is never a right time, and if he’s joining a law firm out of school, it’s probably not going to be getting any easier in terms of work-life balance.
MDMom says
I think it would be easier to have baby in law school than while working as a lawyer.
anon says
I studied for the bar with a three month old (occasional babysitting but otherwise only studying while baby napped/after baby asleep at night). And passed. It’s all totally doable. Don’t overthink these decisions – there’s never a right time to have a baby.
shortperson says
about 10% of the men in my law school class (so about a quarter of the married men) had babies during fall 3L. seemed like a good time to do it and i’m sure you’ll be in good company.
ANP says
Check out the blog Lag Liv. She had a baby while in law school and has written quite a bit on this topic.
Katala says
Several people my year and the year ahead on law review (and likely others but I spent all my time at the journal office) had babies during 2L/3L and it seemed great for the men especially. I agree if you’re ready go for it!
Anon for this says
Thanks everyone!
I’m not positive it’s the best timing for my career and that’s definitely a different hurdle, but it may be worth starting the discussion!
3L mama says
I had a baby in law school – got pregnant right on schedule just before 2L fall exams and delivered at the beginning of 3L fall. I planned for this so I took as many credits as possible 2L year and then kind of took 3L year easy (although it’s going to be my best year, GPA-wise!)
I am studying for the bar now. (Thanks for the advice I received here previously!) It is going fine. I study in the morning and then hang out with my baby after her second nap, and study again after she goes to bed. My husband and baby are coming with me to the bar exam because we co-sleep and I don’t think I could sleep without the baby nearby.
A bunch of my married male classmates had wives who had babies – largely during the spring of 2L it seemed – it was way easier for them than it was for me, largely because they didn’t have to plan around pumping and just the very consuming physical and emotional labor of pregnancy/postpartum/nursing. Although many (most?) of their wives stay home. But it was still pretty easy for me. I am very pro-law school babies.
FWIW, my husband and I were long-distance during my 2L summer (26-36 weeks pregnant) so I could work at my firm. I did a journal, clinic, and moot court while pregnant but just did the journal after I had a baby, and while I didn’t graduate with honors I did just fine overall.
3L mama says
just for more details – my husband took one day off per week for the first six months, and we also had a part-time nanny start immediately after the baby was born (since I had to go back to class). At first she came ~12-16 hours per week and now she comes ~20-26 hrs./week, so I’ve only ever had ~20-30 hours of childcare, and it’s been a little stressful but basically fine.
Meg Murry says
This is a “know your husband” thing, but I think you should plan for full-time care and only go the part-time nanny route if the grandparents are willing to firmly commit to a sitting schedule (like one set takes every Tuesday and the other every Thursday) because you don’t know if you’ll wind up with an easy baby who will sleep all the time so your husband can study or a needy baby who will need lots of hands on care. My husband is the primary caregiver for our kids when daycare isn’t available, and he feels guilty “dropping our kids” on our parents regularly, so having a set schedule where he doesn’t always have to say “can you take kid tomorrow? what about you, other grandparent?” and negotiate and feel rushed can make a big difference.
But that is cart before the horse. I’m not a lawyer, but there is almost never a “good” time to have a baby – there will always be school, or important moments in your career, or starts of new jobs or stressful periods at work, etc. But it seems to me that it might be easier to start a family now when he’s in school than when he’s a relatively new lawyer – but that’s a decision only the 2 of you can make (and even once you’ve made it, you’ll second guess yourself constantly, but that’s just the nature of life).
Carine says
Not crazy. I had our first during 3L and studied for the bar with a six month old while working. A supportive partner and reliable childcare is really helpful, if not critical, but it’s totally doable. I necessarily had to be very organized and regimented with my schedule, so I think it might have actually helped me (and I was very aware of the sacrifices everyone was making for me–didn’t want to let them down by failing!). I chose to wean at six months so my husband could take care of night feedings, I studied every morning for two hours before work, had family time after work until bedtime routine at 7, and studied until 11 or 12. I can’t remember my weekend schedule that well, but I think I did a larger block of study time in the morning and took the rest of the day off until the final few weeks (I took two weeks off work before the exam and studied like it was my full-time job at that point).
It really wasn’t that bad. I won’t say it wasn’t stressful, but I can tell you having my second while working as a lawyer has been harder. Go for it!
Super Preg says
I’m 39 weeks 5 days pregnant. Babe is not showing any interest in budging or even dropping. Any hints/tricks/words of wisdom or commiseration? Each day is getting harder!
In House Lobbyist says
A trip around Home Depot looking at items for a bathroom remodel – baby was supposed to stay put for another 3 weeks – for the first worked. And a trip around Target worked for the second one. They were both 3 weeks early so maybe I have early babies but lots of walking is worth a shot.
Boston Legal Eagle says
No tips but some commiseration – I went up to almost 42 weeks and was induced as they wouldn’t let me go past that. Hopefully your baby comes sooner but I’ve heard it’s common for the first to be “late”. FWIW, the pushing was very quick for me in the end, and my baby was born very healthy and at the top of the height/weight scales!
MDMom says
It’s hard. Stop giving friends/ family daily updates if you haven’t already. They need to assume no news until they hear otherwise. By that time I basically responded to every text with “leave me alone.” I think the constant harassment is part of what makes it so hard. They make you feel like baby is late. Baby is not late! If you had it today, it would be 2 days early! Avoid these people. They are well meaning and excited but they will drive you over the edge.
Distractions are good- go to the movies, read a novel, go out to dinner, get a massage. All those nice things will be harder when baby is here anyway. Are you still working? Working til the end was really helpful for me mentally and also physically- Our elevators went out and I walked down 12 flights of stairs, went into labor 6 hr later. My midwife had also done a membrane sweep that day and im sure that didn’t hurt the cause. In the end baby was only 3 days “late” but it definitely felt longer.
Hang in there! The waiting is really hard. I had in my mind the whole time that baby was going to be late (and had informed everyone of this) but it was still tough. That said, sh*t will be tough and unpredictable in a different way as soon as you go into labor and lasting for about 3 months (in some ways, forever?). You’re sort of sitting on the roller coaster at very the top of the first hill. Try to take a deep breath and enjoy the view. Good luck!
mascot says
Things can change dramatically in 24-36 hours. I went from zero cms at the doctor’s appointment at 39w2d to baby in my arms at 39w5d (went into labor on my own). Hang in there.
ChiLaw says
I swear my baby/body knew when I really took a deep breath and relaxed. It was a “yay last day of work before maternity leave” dinner, a long walk, and ice cream, and then baby was like “ah, she seems ready” (NB, I was not). I know that being told “RELAX!” never helps, but when I actually did relax, baby showed up. It’s going to be so great, meeting your little one soon!
ANP says
Lots of sympathy from this corner! My first was 8 days late, #2 was 8 days early, and they induced #3 at 40w4d and she came at 40w5d. Babies, man…they have minds of their own! I tell you all of this to illustrate that there really is no good rhyme/reason. I know this sounds bananas (b/c all you can focus on, probably, is GETTING BABY OUT) but try to do the fun stuff you won’t have time for once the wee one arrives: movie in a theater, last dinner with spouse or partner, pedicure, long phone calls with friends. Good luck!
Anonymous says
Ugh, I went to 41+6. Even worse, a good friend of mine shared my due date and she delivered at 37 +5. So our kids were almost a full month apart!
Go about your life to the extent you can. I stopped working at 40 weeks and had a bunch of really boring days after that. We spent $500+ on last minute baby stuff because I had nothing but time to waddle around and shop. It’s hot, so go see some movies in the theater. Pre address birth announcements, if you are doing them. I even pre designed mine with everything but the date and weight :-).
Do all the laundry in your house (inc sheets). Wash your windows. Queue up your Netflix for good shows to watch while nursing.
Best of luck and no matter what your baby will be here by July!!!
Anonymous says
Fwiw I had a super fast and easy delivery (no induction).
AwayEmily says
My baby was ten days late and is a super easy baby — latched well, very chill. I like to think the extra time in there contributed to that! (And I think it may actually be true that later babies take to breastfeeding more easily).
Maggie says
Hi, Moms. I am expecting my first child this month and need to buy a breast pump. I need some advice!
I’ll be returning to work in the fall, commuting by public transportation, with the baby, to bring her to day care. I intend to pump at work.
For anyone who has been in this position: Would you recommend that I buy one of the lighter-weight, but possibly less-efficient pumps (such as the Evenflo Advanced Deluxe, or Ameda Ultra); or should I go for the heavier but more efficient (such as the Medela Pump-in-Style or the Spectra S2)?
The heavier pumps seem to get better reviews, but my gut is telling me to go with something more lightweight.
Thanks for any insights!
Maddie Ross says
Two pumps! If you can swing it financially, I cannot recommend having two pumps enough – one to keep at work and one at home. I used the PIS, so that’s my only point of reference and I was happy with it.
Anonymous says
+1 to this. Either way, definitely get the more efficient one. It may be that you can just leave it at work if you don’t end up needing to pump at home. I had a Hygeia, which worked for me.
RDC says
Another +1 to having 2. I got my second pump (which stayed at home) used thru our moms group. Then you only have to shlep bottles (key for public transit) and are much less likely to forget essential parts at home.
Sarabeth says
Get the Spectra, keep it at work, only carry bottles/tubing/etc to and from. If you find yourself pumping at home occasionally as well, get a second cheap pump (could even be a hand pump) for home. Seriously, though, get the most efficient pump you can.
MDMom says
Keep the pump at work, get the better one. You can get a cheap (even manual) pump for backup.
NOVA Anon says
+1 to having two pumps, and I highly recommend that one of them be a rented hospital grade pump that you keep wherever you pump most often, if you can swing that financially as well. I would not get a more lightweight pump that is less effective – the time spent pumping adds up over many pumps.
I was in a slightly different situation than most because I was exclusively pumping for the first couple months then combo of pumping and nursing for the next year, but it was SO worth it to me to have the hospital grade over the Madela PIS for most of my pumping sessions. I kept hospital grade (Symphony) at my office and brought it home on weekends, including on public transit sometimes – it was that worth it to me.
CLMom says
Non-efficient pumps are entirely frustrating!
That said, I am porting my Medela around, but mostly because I use the Freemie adapters and pump during my long commute to/from work. If I weren’t doing that, two pumps would be ideal.
rakma says
Two thoughts: 1) unless your Health Insurance is grandfathered, you should be able to get a free one through insurance. This could help you with the two pump option listed above.
2) I left my pump at work, and had a manual at home for the odd time I needed it. If you’ve got a set up that could allow that, it’s one less thing to cart around, and the weight wouldn’t be such an issue.
Spirograph says
Yes to 2 pumps and to calling your insurance company before making a decision. Get the “best” one your insurance covers and keep it at work, and at least a manual one of the same brand – so that all the parts are compatible – for home. I got a Medela Pump-in-Style paid 100% by insurance. I bought a little one on Amazon (just the pump without the tote/backpack) for about $100 after baby #2 so I could keep one at home and one at work, and it was the best money I spent.
Butter says
Recommend two pumps as well. For the first few months I had a hospital grade (Symphony) at home, and a Medela Pump in Style at work. I then bought the Spectra 2 (such an awesome pump, and a great price), and now keep that at work and use the PIS or the hand pump at home. I really wouldn’t carry back and forth – pumping is stress enough with remembering all the parts and packing your milk, etc, let alone lugging even a couple of extra pounds everywhere you go with you.
And for the record, Spectra > PIS.
ChiLaw says
Yeah, adding to the chorus re: leaving the pump at work. Depending on everything, you might even be able to get away with a hand pump at home — that’ll only set you back $30 or so.
I called my insurance company and got a Madela PIS (Thanks, Obama!) after baby was born, and they told me I really should have called before, so maybe do it while you aren’t dealing with a newborn?
SoCalAtty says
I’ll second / third this! I got my PISA through insurance and I’ve rented the hospital pump, Medela Symphony, to leave at work since that is mostly where I pump.
Meg Murry says
Honestly, the pump itself isn’t all that big (the Medela PISA is only about 6″ x 6″ x 6″, it’s the carrying bags they come built into that are so big and bulky – and I still couldn’t fit all my pumping stuff into the bag, so I wound up carrying a half empty pumping tote and a separate bag with the bottles and pieces.
If you do wind up carrying the pump back and forth, i would at least recommend buying 2 wall plugs and/or 2 sets of tubing, because that’s an easy thing not to carry back and forth. You can also pump into the bottles, then pour the milk into storage bags and wash the bottles by hand at work as another way to lighten the load of what you carry back and forth.
I’d get a single, good pump now, and if BF is working out for you consider buying a second pump in the fall. Don’t buy 2 now, and don’t get a crappy one now – you may need it to help you in the early days if BF doesn’t go smoothly right away. Come back when you are a couple of weeks away from returning to work and we’ll give you alllll the advice then :-)
You can also ask around – you may be able to find a close friend that got a free pump through insurance and only was able to use it for a few weeks (or not at all) to use as your second pump like my sister, who BF never worked out for. I personally wouldn’t use a pump from an unknown person like on Craigslist, but I’d take a barely used hand-me-down from a good friend.
Katala says
I got the Ameda for weight and liked it fine. Not as effective as the hospital grade pump in the pumping room in that I used a setting closer to full suction but it was totally fine. Once I went back to work and pumped in the rooms (glass office ugh) I barely touched the Ameda I kept at home, so I think a manual at home would have been plenty.
Anonymous says
MEDELA. Whatever you do, get a Medela pump.
EB0220 says
Definitely two pumps – one free one from insurance and one that you buy, or just a hand pump at home if you don’t plan to pump that much at home.
In House Lobbyist says
I loved my Medela Freestyle for travel – which I do a lot of. It was super lightweight and the battery lasted for several days. I also kept the Pump in Style in the big bag at home. Two pumps is worth the investment.
hoola hoopa says
Definitely two pumps. Get the PISA for work and a less expensive one for home (I liked the manual medela a lot, actually. I also liked the avent PY).
I initially got the Freestyle when I thought I’d be dragging it on transit everyday, and honestly, I didn’t like it. And then I figured out that I didn’t need to carry the pump anyway.
Pumped at work for one year says
If you can afford it, I would rent a hospital grade medela pump and keep it at work and then have a medela freestyle at home. It’s hard enough keeping up your supply when you start pumping at work so you need the best possible pump you can have. The freestyle I would recommend because it can help if you have to travel or go to other offices (for example, I am an attorney and have to go to other law firms for depositions and freestyle comes in handy then).
I would definitely recommend medela because it works great and you can buy spare flanges and parts from Amazon for cheap. When I went back to work, I had about 7 sets so I did not have to wash the sets at work. I would just wash them once when I got back home. I also kept a spare set in my office just in case.
(was) due in June says
Just to add a counterpoint – I commute by car. I took my Medela PISA back and forth every day, plus all pump parts and the milk cooler. I was pumping twice at work and once at home. It was inconvenient but it really wasn’t a big deal to bring it back and forth every day given that I drive to work. I would have wanted two pumps if I used public transit.
Anonymama says
Get the better pump. Really, pumping can be torturous enough as it is, you will be glad to have a good pump so you can spend that many fewer minutes pumping and stressing about how much milk you are getting. I carried mine back and forth on public transport and didn’t find the weight too overwhelming, but I would streamline other stuff before sacrificing a really efficient pump.
Concerned says
I have a coworker whose 4 year old son is in the hospital (going on a week now) being monitored for failure of an organ. While he’s feeling much better than when he was first admitted (when he also had another very uncomfortable ailment), it seems like the his organ function is heading in the wrong direction and he’ll be in the hospital a while longer.
The family is fairly well off, relatives are in town and helping out around the house/with the sibling, but I’d like to send a little something – either directly to the hospital or to their home. I was thinking coloring books/stickers/crayon. Yes/no? Other ideas? Should they go to the hospital (is it even possible to send an Amazon box to a hospital?) or to their home? My coworker has also been stopping by the office for brief stints – perhaps a gift bag handed to him at the office?
mascot says
Check with the hospital and see what the protocol is for patient mail. You may be able to send a gift basket from the hospital gift shop since they often have toys/balloons/magazines, etc. I’m sure some volunteer would be happy to put one together with a toy, snacks and maybe some reading material for the parents.
hoola hoopa says
I would just hand it to him (or leave it on his chair) if he’s in and out. It is a thoughtful gift. Some similar suggestions: playdough, Melissa and dough mess-free glitter kits, go fish card deck, picture dominos, legos.
Meg Murry says
If there isn’t a younger sibling at home, the Lego Creator 3-in-1 or the Lego Junior sets are good for a 4 year old to do with adult help. But I wouldn’t get them if there is a younger kid at home because it’s stressful to have to keep a toddler out of big brother/sister’s Legos.
I’d put in a gift bag so he can peek to see if it’s a good thing to take to the hospital or if it would be better for when kiddo is at home (I’m assuming there will be a post hospital at-home recovery period).
If you get crayons, markers etc, make sure they say “washable” but not the kind that have to be used on special paper. So for Crayola – the ones that say “washable” or “ultra-clean washable” are a good choice, but the ones that say “Mess Free” or “Color Wonder” require special paper and are a pain (sorry if you already knew this – lots of people without kids this age don’t know).
What if you got a couple coloring and/or activity books for the kid and one or two of the adult ones for the parents and some colored pencils? Adult coloring books are soothing, and it would be a good activity for the person at the hospital to do with the kid. [and by adult coloring books, I mean the ones with geometric patterns or Mandalas, not the ones with swear words, even if the parents probably would appreciate it :-) ]
Has there been any kind of coordinated effort from the office to do a gift or a card? Would it be better to take up a collection and/or pass around a card rather than have everyone do little things on their own?
Concerned says
Belated thanks to all! Ended up with a gift bag full of goodies, hitting on many of the suggestions above, and some edibles (can be for nurses/visitors if kid is not up for them). Handed to him in the office.
We’re not much of a group gift/collection bunch. I’m actually due with my first any day now and coworkers, as friendly as we all are, have done nothing thus far. My husband’s office did a HUGE shower and his large group put in what must have averaged $25/pp. They practically cleaned out our registry!
Frozen Peach says
Today for the first time I didn’t go to my LO’s well baby appointment with her and my husband. He just texted to tell me that she has a heart murmur (that sounds “innocent”), and we’re being referred for a cardiac workup. I know these are common, and that she’s probably fine.
But I took a lot of zofran during my pregnancy due to HG and am now sitting here feeling 100% responsible for what is probably a hole in my kid’s heart. I’m trying to hold it together and get through the rest of this day, but I’m destroyed. I’m going to start by going outside and away from my office building and crying it out for a few minutes. Any other tips for getting through a day like a mature adult are most welcome.
anon says
One in six adults has a hole in their heart, if it helps. It’s really not considered a big deal, so I am hoping the same is true for your LO! (I have a hole in my heart – I found the fact that so many people walk around with them all the time not knowing they have them comforting since it really does sound ominous!)
Also, totally feel you on missing well baby appointments. I feel like everything happens when you can’t make it. Leave work if it will make you feel better!
Anon says
HUGS. You did nothing wrong – Zofran helped you stay healthy and bring this little one into the world, and almost certainly did not cause what is (apparently) a relatively common issue. You are working to get her medical care and missed the appointment because you are a good mom, provider, and care about baby. You are a great mom. All that said, definitely have a cry. But know that you are awesome and giving baby everything she needs.
Anon in NYC says
100% agree. Huge hugs!!
pockets says
I have a heart murmur and it affects my life zero. In fact, I didn’t even know I had one until my gyn pointed it out to me when I was 22. When I told my mom, she said, Oh yeah, they told me about that when you were a baby. So: it’s not a big deal, and as long as you remember to tell your child when she’s older, you’re one step ahead of my mom.
Love you says
No, that’s not what happened.
#1. Not a big deal, they usually resolve on their own.
#2. Tons of things can/do cause heart murmurs, mostly genetics. NOT zofran (never heard this before, know several folks with heart murmurs).
Please talk to your ob/gyne about your anxiety and guilt — this is a sign of PPD.
(It’s also a sign of… I don’t know what. My father-in-law said that he shouldn’t have given my sister-in-law a family name because that branch of the family had mental illness and I was like, What?! I don’t think that’s how family names and/or mental illness even work.)
JJ says
If you had HG, you literally did nothing wrong. You followed doctor’s orders.
I have a heart murmur. It’s benign. I didn’t even find out I had one until I had a required physical when I started playing a collegiate sport my freshman year. I made it 19 years before someone actually diagnosed it, and other than having to occasionally mark it on medical forms, it has made no difference in my life.
Meg Murry says
If it makes you feel any better, somehow all of our major medical issues have been discovered when my husband takes the kiddo to the doctor, never me (even though we split up appointments generally 50-50) and I always beat myself up over them, as if somehow me being there would have made a difference.
You almost definitely didn’t cause this based on something you did or didn’t do during your pregnancy. And if you hadn’t taken Zofran, maybe you would have wound up with a baby with low birth weight or some other issue because she didn’t get the nutrition she needed. Don’t beat yourself up over this. And whatever you do, step away from the Google and listen to what the specialist has to say to you – that’s all you can do right now.
But as everyone else has mentioned, minor heart defects are actually really common, and the specialist appointment is probably a CYA move on behalf of your pediatrician.
Depending on your office, can you let one or two trusted people know “hey, I might be distracted for a little while? There were some medical concerns found at my baby’s last appointment that are probably minor, but still distracting. While she’s probably fine it’s going to be weighing on my mind until I get more information at her next appointment, so sorry if I seem a little spacy.” Obviously that depends on whether you work in a family friendly office or whether that would be a strike against working parents at your place – but if you have a sympathetic office, use it. If it’s not a family friendly office, it would probably be a good time for “allergies are hitting me extra hard today, please excuse my red eyes, I’ve got a headache so I’m going to close the door”.
sunblock advice says
Any suggestions for a sunblock for kids with eczema? UGH I’ve tried a few drugstore brands and he’s broken out everytime.
MDMom says
My kid has some eczema like spots on his legs at times that go away with aquaphor. Never formally diagnosed because so mild, but we are pretty vigilant because my husband has it. All that to say we aren’t in your situation exactly but are mindful of these things. We have had no problems with burnout kids physical sunscreen. Avail on Amazon and well rated by ewg.
Meg Murry says
The National Eczema Association recommends a few products by Aveeno, Cerave and Neutrogena (the links are on the left hand side of the page). I don’t have eczema, but I’ve used the Neutrogena Sensitive Skin version as my facial sunscreen because it’s oil free and doesn’t have a scent – so if you try that one and it doesn’t wind up working for him, at least you could use it yourself?
https://nationaleczema.org/eczema-products/sunscreens/ (links are on the left hand side)
You can also look at the generic/store brand prodcuts on the shelf near the name brands and compare ingredients – often there is a cheaper version of name brand products, although not always for the sensitive skin versions.
Does he break out immediately or later in the day or after a couple of days of use? Could it be heat rash that you’re seeing, not eczema? Or a reaction to more vigorous scrubbing to get the sunscreen off? It took me a little while to realize that my kids problem wasn’t directly the sunscreen itself but rather the fact that days wearing sunscreen = several more baths a week than no sunscreen season = dry skin. Switching to a more moisturizing soap and adding lotion post bath helped with that.
layered bob says
My baby has eczema, although it’s not severe. Badger, California Baby, and CeraVe all work for us.
JJ says
Aveeno sunblock works for my kid that has reactions to most sunscreen. California Baby also works. I have yet to find a spray sunscreen that won’t cause a rash, though (sigh).
CLMom says
Organic baby cereal recommendations? I’d like to buy Healthy Times, but I can’t seem to find it.
hoola hoopa says
Earth’s Best
Airplane! says
Any tips to distract a 14 month old on a relatively short flight (2 hrs)? She will have her own seat but is mobile and doesn’t like staying in there. Flight is short enough that the aisles will be full with the service carts so walking isn’t a great option. She also (like all children her age) has a 2 minute attention span.
ANP says
What constitutes a treat for her? For a short flight, I wouldn’t hold back. iPad/screen time is always a hit with mine, even that young. Fruit snacks or other “forbidden” foods. Stickers, peekaboo with mom and dad. Band-Aids are always a hit with my kids and I remember someone here recommending a roll of painter’s tape. At that age, I did a lot of holding/playing/entertaining.
Meg Murry says
Do you have an older phone or tablet? Load it up with a bunch of pictures of her, family members, pets, etc. My kiddos always loved seeing their pictures. Turning on the front facing camera also bought a few minutes of entertainment. Just make sure it’s in a secure case for when it gets dropped/thrown.
Anonymous says
Lots of snacks. And an iPad. And if she has her own seat, definitely strap her into her car seat.
AEK says
Just traveled with mine who is 2 months older. He had a lot of fun with play-dough on the tray table (I gave him a spoon too). I got some picture flashcards that he liked, too—both for looking out and for taking out of the box and putting back in, over and over again. Snacks and snacks. His favorite book. And I finally did let him play with my phone to avert shrieking.
But yeah, wow. It was exhausting. (Worth it, though!!) Pray for naps:)
Airplane! says
Thanks all! I had considered the iPad but wasn’t sure if it would be useful without wifi. Maybe I can figure out how to download from Amazon instead of streaming. Now I just have to go find an indestructible case…
I’m open to any other suggestions!
dc mom says
I’m taking a 6 hour flight with my 20 month old tomorrow. She will have her own seat and be in her car seat. Any tips on how to use the tray table for games? Does she have to be rear-facing?
Anon in NYC says
On my last flight I asked the flight attendant about rear or front facing, and he didn’t know. We put her rear facing on the first leg of the trip and I felt really bad for the person in front of her because she couldn’t really recline her seat. On the return flight we did front facing to avoid that issue.
Katala says
Just finished a bunch of air travel with my 13 month old. iPad/phone helped some, snacks, he napped some in his car seat.
He was forward facing all flights. The seat fit better, he could see what was going on a bit, and I figure the risk is not a head-on impact like the car but more of an up-down issue so the straps will work either way.
mascot says
There are a lot of kids apps for free/cheap on itunes, including coloring apps where they can just drag their fingers on the page to create sparkly magic. I also saw a suggestion of a roll of blue painters tape to play with since it is easy to remove. Aquadoodle makes a travel pad that my son loved. He also liked to suck the water out of the pen so be warned.
pockets says
ipad all the way, you can definitely download amazon movies/tv shows onto an ipad. Although be warned that my 22 month old refused to wear the headphones, but she was content to watch without listening.
There is also the “peekaboo” series of apps that babies love (peekaboo barn is a classic and we also got peekaboo sesame street) that you can buy on itunes (I think they are $1-$3). There is sound but I think it would still be pretty enjoyable to kids without sound.
anon says
The Melissa and Doug Water wow books are just perfect for you.
Cell phone organization? says
This is one of those just-for-your-own-sanity questions, not a “how professional is it” questions for the mainpage —
But do you have work email/calendar on your main cell phone homepage or do you have it on a side thing where you scroll to?
I am setting up a new cell phone and this is befuddling me. It’s important for my sanity to have the calendars together, but do I really want to see work email in my off-hours (I am encouraged to have strict off-hours and reimbursed accordingly, so I do focus on self/family when not at work.) Thoughts?
Meg Murry says
I have the calendars together, but not email. I have an android and my company uses Outlook/Exchange. In my case, I almost never check work email from my phone (and my co-workers know it, if something is truly an emergency they text me, and that only happens every few months). I also have a work laptop I take with me to most meetings, so I don’t need to worry about getting emails during meetings, etc.
I set up my work email on my phone to auto-sync the calendar only, so that I see both calendars together (and I use an app that colors my personal calendar items one color and work another, I can also filter it to just see personal). If I need to check or send my work email from my phone, I do it from the browser in our webmail. The webmail via mobile browser is a little slower, but that’s ok with me because it helps me think “do I really need to be checking work email right now?” and the answer is almost always no.
I think some people have mentioned that they set-up their email not to auto-sync after work hours, but I haven’t been able to find a way to turn off sync to only my work account for a few hours and not my personal accounts.
pockets says
This is more or less what I do as well, albeit in a slightly different way. I definitely do not get paid enough to be on call outside of normal business hours. I have an android, my office uses Outlook, and I use a program I downloaded on my work computer called Outlook Google Calendar Sync (a life-changing program) to sync my work and google calendars (so that my Outlook calendar gets transferred to my google calendar, labeled in a different color). The calendar is two screen swipes to the side.
I use my phone to access the web based system if I’m away from my desk during business hours and feel the need to check email. I’ve been toying with the idea of setting up my work email on my phone but turning off the push notifications.
Navy Attorney says
I am downloading this now!!! I have always wished for this app. Hopefully it gets through all of our security features.
MDMom says
I have a work phone and a personal phone and keep them separate. Before my work offered work phones, I did not have work stuff on my personal phone because I reasoned if they required that level of access, they’d provide a phone. I did have my calendar because I put everything work and personal on one Google calendar. I don’t use my work provided outlook calendar. That was for my sanity.
Many of my colleagues have always had work email on their personal phones though, for their own convenience.
Does that answer your question?