CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 95 Comments · by

Washable Workwear Wednesday: Cashmere Bardot Sweater

Machine-Washable Work Clothes | ·

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A Cashmere Bardot Sweater.I’m not quite sure how I started getting the Pure Collection catalog, but it has made its way through my door — and I kind of like some of the collection. In addition to sustainable cashmere (which I did not know was a thing), they also have washable cashmere, including this adorable little Bardot top. Even better: it’s pretty affordable. The top was $149, but is now marked to $119; it also comes in other fabrics like jersey for less. Cashmere Bardot Sweater (L-0)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

Comments

  1. No PTO says

    My office has “Vacation Days” and “Sick Days”… we do not get any general PTO. The culture is that vacation days are preferred to be taken in week long blocks. I have been in the habit of taking vacation days for things such as first day of school, or field trips, etc. However, my new boss is not happy with these one-off days. I’m not sure what else to do…I thought I was being proactive using a pre-scheduled vacation day for the first day of school. Is this normal? Am I just supposed to call in sick – which I looked at as the worse option?

    • Anonymous says

      You’re being professional and your boss is being ridiculous. Sorry you have to deal with that.

    • Pearl says

      Are there any written policies you can reference? You say the culture dictates something that is opposed to the normal use of vacation/sick days. That would be the way I broach it with my boss. “This policy says X, but I’m getting the feeling I should be doing Y. I am not sure what to do moving forward.”

      • Anon in NYC says

        Agreed. See what the policy says and clarify with your boss. (Although I would have done the exact same thing as you.)

    • CHL says

      Oh my gosh that is so weird. Do you have HR? You are not doing anything wrong.

    • NewMomAnon says

      Taking PTO only in week long chunks is the definition of male privilege.

      • NewMomAnon says

        Although I suppose you didn’t say your boss was male. Sorry for the assumption.

        • No PTO says

          Definitely a man. Although the only time I worked for a women she was way worse. She once pulled me aside after I had left early for a yearly physical (my only dr. appt in like 6 months) and told me to look for a Dr. with evening hours.

  2. AIMS says

    I too get this catalog! Some of the stuff is intriguing.
    Anyone have any experience with this brand in terms of quality?

  3. CPA Lady says

    I am team no-pants, but this top would look SO cute with skinny ankle pants and pointy toe flats. I would swan around pretending to be Audrey Hepburn.

  4. halp says

    Please check out the book All Joy and No Fun. It’s on Kindle sale this week, and it makes me feel so….normal.

    It’s about parenting.

    • Pigpen's Mama says

      Thanks for the heads up! It’s been on my to-read list – just bought it.

    • Spirograph says

      Yes! I read this a month or so ago and really enjoyed (well, maybe not quite the right word. Appreciated?) it.

    • CHL says

      Loved this – the concept of hanging out with small children basically being the opposite of “flow” really stuck with me and helps explain why being with my children can be so exhausting. It also raised a lot of interesting thoughts about other caregiving jobs and how we value those kinds of roles in society. But I digress:)

  5. Anon for this says

    Shout out to my employer (State Government) – we just made a job offer to our most highly qualified candidate … who happens to be 8 1/2 months pregnant. On the one hand I know this just means we’re following the law, but many (most) other employers would try to find a reason why someone else was more qualified.

    Pregnant job seekers, there is hope!

    • Anon says

      My sister got both of her last two jobs while visibly pregnant. They are both management roles and she lives in a small, rural town.

    • Anon in NYC says

      You don’t know how badly I needed to see this right now.

      I do have a question for the hive: Has anyone had experience job searching while on maternity leave? I desperately want out of my job because of many reasons (mostly my boss has turned into the classic office bully and I now have to convince myself to get out of bed and go to work.) I figured I can tolerate this behavior for a few more months before I go on leave, and hopefully once I leave, I won’t have to come back.

      • CLMom says

        Yes. My job was cut the day before I was to return from maternity (legal grey are due to company acquisition), so there I was searching for work at 3 months post-partum because financially I need to work.
        Toughest parts were finding as-needed child care and pumping/nursing to accommodate interviews.
        I did not disclose my new mother status.
        The two jobs with in-person interviews led to offers.
        Before accepting the offer I wanted, I set up a call with the partners (small firm) and told them about my daughter and was upfront about my needs and how it might impact the firm. They responded very much in kind, which solidified that it was the right move.
        The job was an increase in responsibility, title, pay and has better facilities and people. I am on my career track firmly, and have never been happier career-wise.

        Also, my friend made a move from small law to gov law while on maternity leave.

        • Closet Redux says

          I did this, too, though I did come back to my old job for a couple of months before leaving for the new job.

          The interviews we tough in the same way CLMom mentions– finding intermittent childcare with only a few days’ notice, pumping around the interview schedule. Also, I didn’t fit into any of my “confidence suits,” I was so so so tired all the time, and my head felt foggy still from lack of sleep. But, that said, I got the offer, so it must not have been as bad as I thought.

          The other thing that sucked is that my old boss made some awful comment about how I “used my maternity leave to look for a new job.” Um, no, I used my maternity leave to recover from childbirth and take care of a newborn infant.

          • Anon in NYC says

            Thank you both, this makes me feel a lot better.

            I fully expect that my firm will respond with this sort of obnoxious statement. I fully expect not to give a crap if I have an offer in hand. People like that are the worst.

      • Katala says

        I was all set to return to my job after mat leave, but we decided we wanted out of NYC so I started working with a recruiter while on leave. I was able to schedule phone interviews that worked with my husband’s schedule and he stayed home with our then 3-month old while I did an overnight trip for the in-person interview. I was upfront about the kid from the beginning, since they obviously wanted to know why I was looking in a new city. I didn’t want to end up somewhere less family friendly (biglaw, so it’s all relative, but still) so I felt like if it hurt my chances, that was best for everyone.

        I ended up getting the job and moving. BUT, I did not like the job or the city that much after the newness wore off. I feel like I was just desperate for something new and jumped the gun, but DH’s view is it would have been hard for me to know I wouldn’t like it. Anyway, not really what you asked. It was pretty easy to job search during naps etc. and while I didn’t feel 100% on my game, it was apparently good enough. My old firm was only semi-surprised and I don’t think I burned any bridges not coming back.

        • CLMom says

          I did a few phone interviews with a fed and changed baby crying in the crib or swing in the next room with the door shut. I felt like a terrible mom letting her cry, but I don’t know what the alternative would have been.

      • Anonymous says

        Yes, I got my current job while out on leave. I can’t actually recall if I disclosed this during the interviews. You will need a good story one way or the other as to what you’ve been doing with yourself for the past few months and why you are switching now — i.e., you don’t want to look sneaky. Agree that the child-care situation is difficult to navigate, because you wouldn’t have regular care. But it’s important to treat the process seriously and arrange for someone to look after your kid not only during the interviews but also so that you can research, apply, prepare and generally get your head in the game.

      • anon for this says

        Legally you are still employed while on STD, so if new employer were to call and check dates of employment it would match your story (that you were employed during the time you were interviewing). Not sure how it works for other kinds of leave, or how it’d go over if your boss was interviewed specifically as a reference. My current job I got while on STD, but the background check just covered salary, title and dates of employment.

  6. dc mom anon says

    Help me plan my DD’s birthday. She will be 2. Both sets of grandparents and an uncle, aunt, and cousin will be flying in to visit = 8 adults, a 2 year old, and a 5 year old. We’re not doing a huge party or anything. I would like to have a relaxed lunch or dinner. We will have access to a nice rooftop, so I am thinking of having food delivered there. I am struggling with how to make that feel special and not just a meal together. Should there be an activity? What are some fun birthday traditions? This entire group does not get together very often (lives all over the country) so I would like to commemorate the occasion.

    • Momata says

      Photo booth? This can be as easy as a cheap backdrop you tape to the wall and props-on-sticks/hats/etc in whatever simple theme you pick (that then carries over to paper goods and the cake). Fun for all and helps document the occasion.

    • Anonymous says

      What if you hired a photographer to do one of the cheesy dress up photo session things they have at weddings sometimes? Like with the funny hats and signs/boas etc? The kids would have a blast and it would be a fun not serious way to get some pictures of the family in different combinations and all together. Maybe photographer could do one or two serious group pictures too.

    • Em says

      You could hire a photographer to take some family photos. If you don’t want to spend a ton of money, you can probably find someone who does it as a hobby or someone new to the business who would do it at a bargain. Also, cake.

    • MSJ says

      I think youd be set with a birthday cake (rather than or in addition to other dessert) and some balloons.

    • NewMomAnon says

      Well, my daughter thought french fries and a balloon were pretty awesome commemoration of her second birthday, and she still talks about it….so there’s that idea.

      But assuming you want something more formal, how about getting a photographer to take some good family photos while everyone is together? It sounds like you want to commemorate the gathering of people moreso than the daughter’s birthday (which I think is totally cool, btw).

    • Anon in NYC says

      Like Momata said, I think a theme in terms of paper goods and the cake is a very easy way to make it a birthday meal. I also think balloons (like maybe a big “2”) would be good. In terms of food, have your daughter’s favorite foods represented. If you have a spare table, can you set up a table with activities? Like, crayons and coloring books, or paper party hats with the string (or paper crowns?) that people can decorate and then wear.

    • Maddie Ross says

      At age 2 (and honestly still at 3 and probably beyond), the item that makes a party feel most like a party to my kiddo are balloons. She’s also super in to tiaras. I would do a lunch/dinner that involved those and take lots of pics. Or hire a photog as suggested above if that’s in your budget. Family photos are super fun to have.

    • rakma says

      My 2.5 year old is already planning her birthday party, and her definition of a party is hats, cupcakes and balloons.

      I think when you have that many people together, and they don’t usually see each other, even a simple meal can take on a party atmosphere since it’s an unusual situation. Definitely document it with a designated photographer (professional or just a family member who will remember to take pictures of everything)

    • No PTO says

      I bought my kids birthday crowns on Etsy… I keep them hidden and they only get work on birthdays!

    • POSITA says

      For my daughter’s second birthday I bought and decorated a bunch of fancy hats for everyone to wear. That, coupled with lots of balloons and streamers, really made her face light up. She spent the whole night putting hats onto and off of people’s heads. I think it can be really easy to overwhelm a 2 yo. I’d keep it pretty simple.

      If you want something to occupy the 2 yo so that you can talk to other adults, you might consider doing a ball pit. That would have kept my 2 yo busy for a long time. Amazon sells the balls and you can put them in a small swimming pool.

    • In House Lobbyist says

      For the 2 year old – balloons and a cake or cupcakes will be enough for her. Maybe a special outfit or birthday shirt. For the family, the photographer idea is great. You could also make snapfish photo books for everyone as presents. I love snapfish and grandparents eat up those books. I do a holiday one, a year of each kid and a vacation one. They are easy to do and family and kiddos love looking at them.

    • PhilanthropyGirl says

      I’m in the 2-year-party-planning phase myself. We’ll be 8 adults and two cousins ages 1 and 3.

      We’re doing taco bar and some sort of cake or cupcakes. I’m doing a car theme for my wheels-obsessed boy. I’m thinking of playing pin-the-wheel-on-the-car and a making a punch box. Decorations will probably be some streamers or balloons. Opening presents is a big enough deal for a 2 year old, so other activities will be super low key.

      My nephew had a construction party – the two boys played outside with construction trucks in a make-shift sandbox. I think my sister’s only decor were caution tape streamers.

    • PatsyStone says

      Pinatas are cheap fun for all ages, make for great photos, and give an unmistakable “it’s a party” vibe with minimal effort.

  7. Famouscait says

    Cross-posting from main site: All of a sudden I have a 12 hour layover in London – tomorrow. I know I can take the Heathrow Express train to Paddington station, but what would be a good museum to visit nearby? Other ideas?

    • Anon in NYC says

      How fun! You could go to the National Gallery. It’s about 20 minutes from Paddington station on the tube.

    • Oil in Houston says

      you could also spend some time in Hyde Park and Notting Hill, both walking distance to Paddington station

  8. Clothes purging says

    Ladies, how long did you hang onto baby clothes and your maternity clothes “just in case?” I would like 1 more kid, H really wouldnt. Obviously we need to discuss, but latest baby is only a month old and I’m not quite clear-headed, hormonally speaking. Meanwhile, H is encouraging me to get rid of the baby boy clothes and maternity stuff we “don’t need” but I just can’t with how final that feels. It sounds stupid when I type it out. I can buy more clothes. Ugh. Hormones.

    • NewMomAnon says

      No, that is way too soon – not only is it too soon for either of you to decide, but you are dealing with a ONE MONTH OLD BABY. You do not have the capacity to purge all of that right now, even if you wanted to. Hubby is being irrational.

      If you have the luxury of space, stick it all in a big rubbermaid container and come back to it at baby’s first birthday, when you’ll hopefully have come up for air.

      • Em says

        Yes, all this. I am all about purging all the things and H and I are leaning toward only having one kid, but there is no way I would get rid of any maternity or baby stuff until my kid was at least a year old (probably closer to 2).

      • NewMomAnon says

        And if he says, “Oh, I’ll do it then” – give him a list of all the million other things you need him to do first. Like take the baby and give you two hours to sleep or shower.

        Funny “dad coping” story; when my kiddo was a week old, my ex announced that he needed to make an “emergency” run to Target and left me home alone with the new baby. He came home two hours later with 100 plastic clothes hangers and a jumbo box of dog treats. A panicking new dad will do all sorts of strange things.

      • Katala says

        +1 Not the time to discuss this! And not stupid to be having lots of feelings about baby and pregnancy related things. It’s not a rational time.

    • Lyssa says

      I agree with NewMomAnon; this is definitely early. Also, I’m 15 months past my tubal ligation (so, obviously we both already agreed to stop and it’s not even a choice at this point), and I still haven’t managed to get rid of this stuff. What if the tubal somehow didn’t take and we have an oops? I mean, giving all the stuff away would surely trigger that sort of thing, right?

    • rakma says

      Agree that one month is too soon to do anything, you’re still recovering and don’t need to purge anything right now. (Also, you may still want to wear some of your maternity clothes! Says the person who was sad to see her maternity leggings get holes when DD was 2)

      I did get rid of the bulk of my maternity clothes, but it was about a year later, and my cousin was expecting, so they all went to her. I was so sick and tired of most of the maternity clothes I had, I didn’t want them back, and bought new ones for my second pregnancy.

    • CPA Lady says

      I think your husband needs to chill. I would probably have a conversation along the lines of “I’m keeping everything for now, we need to drop this conversation at the moment, just because I’m keeping things for now doesn’t mean I’m going to force you to have another child, I just can’t deal with making any final decisions right now.”

      That said, I got rid of everything basically immediately. Even though I still have some occasional lingering doubts about whether one and done is really it for me. My husband is emphatically 100% one and done. I am about 90% one and done. That 10% is enough to make me cry hysterically at the thought of him having the snip snip operation, which he has not done yet because he is incapable of making a doctors appointment, and I’m not going to push him. Even though I’d be perfectly happy to have only one child, there is something about the finality of something like that that is very emotional.

      But yeah, I got rid of my maternity clothes, which I was ready to burn at that point, and all the baby stuff as soon as she outgrew it. It helped that one of my good friends got pregnant when my daughter was 6 months old, and so I offloaded a ton of stuff onto her. I figure if I ever get pregnant again, I can just buy stuff then. I also hate having a bunch of crap in my house that I’m not using. I think I’d be irritated storing it even if I were planning to have a second.

      • Edna Mazur says

        Agree on the storage thing, we are hoping for one more and storing ALL the baby junk is beyond irritating.

    • anon says

      I got rid of baby clothes and gear more or less as they were outgrown as we were in a 1 bedroom apartment in NYC, had no storage, and I knew I could easily get more free or low-cost if we had another child since people are constantly giving them away. I did keep my maternity clothes for several (okay 4) years, as those seemed harder/more expensive to replace. But I think you could very justifyably say we are not even having this conversation until the new baby is 3 months old (as a MINIMUM)! Or maybe sleeping through the night…ha!

    • Katala says

      And re just buying new stuff, I got rid of all but my 2 favorite pairs of maternity pants and a few shirts. Along comes surprise pregnancy #2, and I am so happy I have them. Gap doesn’t have the pants in stock and hasn’t for a month, and the shirts I got to supplement are not the same this season. So it’s not really crazy to keep your favorites, at least. So happy I moved those things cross country. Twice. Now if we hadn’t gotten rid of all the baby clothes, we’d be set…

  9. RR says

    I had never looked at this site before, but wow. Gorgeous clothes in a wide range of sizes. Where have you been all my life?

  10. Betty says

    Childcare Update: After our first au pair left within 10 days of her arrival due to severe homesickness, we found a rematch au pair!! And she seems lovely, engaged and excited to join our family! But man, it has been a horrid week in the meantime trying to juggle finding an au pair with back up care and deadlines at work. And to top it all off, I now have a raging cold. Today is a day I am grateful that I can sit at my desk, review my contracts/deals and sip tea all day long. Here’s hoping there are better days ahead!

    • anne-on says

      So glad it all seems to be working out for you!! We just got an au pair last month as well, and while she’s been lovely, its a hard transition for all of us. I can’t imagine having to deal with that level of homesickness plus back up care. Ugh. Hopefully things start to look up and in the mean time – rest, tea, and enjoy the long weekend :)

  11. ChiLaw says

    Talk to me about kids shoes?

    Lately my girl has been saying “owie!” when we put her shoes on. (She’s 19 months.) The shoes seem to fit ok, like there’s a little room in the toes, and they go on ok, but… “owie!” or “owie foot!” or “owie shoes!” She points to either foot to show me where the pain is, about equally. And this is the case with both the pairs of shoes we’ve been using. I don’t know if she just doesn’t WANT to wear them (she sometimes yells “owie” when it’s time for a diaper change, or when it’s time to say goodbye to a friend, so…) but it’s pretty consistent, sometimes even when she’s having fun. But sometimes when she’s having fun she totally forgets it.

    Any advice?

    • EB0220 says

      What kind of closure do the shoes have? My 2 year old often complains that I tighten the velcro strap too much across the top of her foot. I know that I have the same issue when I overtighten my laces.

      • ChiLaw says

        OK interesting! One pair is maryjane style, with velcro straps across the top. Maybe I’ll try putting them on more loosely. The others are like, slip on sneaker types, nothing to tighten. But if she’s irritated from the maryjanes, maybe?

    • Anon in NYC says

      Are the shoes the same brand? Maybe the brand is no longer working for her. Have you taken her to a shoe store to get fitted recently?

      • ChiLaw says

        oh my goodness! i didn’t even think of taking her to a shoe store! her shoes have been hand-me-downs from her cousins or ones i’ve ordered online for specific things (daycare had a lot of rules about what kind of shoes she could wear for water play). How does that work? Probably just like I remember from being a kid, eh?

        the shoes she’s currently wearing are two different brands.

        maybe I will add visiting a shoe store to this weekend’s to do list…

        • PhilanthropyGirl says

          So shoes are my weirdo-freak-out parent thing, because I have terrible feet. The only new things my kid ever gets to wear are shoes.

          Is it possible the hand-me-down shoes have a wear pattern in them that would make them uncomfortable?

          • Anonymous says

            +1 to this – Shoes are the only thing I really spend any money on or buy in a brick-and-mortar store for my kids, and the only thing that doesn’t get handed down from the older to the younger one. I also have no idea to properly measure my kids’ feet and am terrified of getting it wrong.

        • Anon in NYC says

          Yeah, just search for a kids shoe store in your area! It will be exactly like you remember from being a kid.

    • PhilanthropyGirl says

      Yes – I wondered if maybe they were too narrow across the widest part of the foot. DS has enormous feet, and they’re often too tight through the ball of the foot before they’re too short from heel to toe.

      Are you checking for room when she’s standing in her shoes? I neglected to do that with DS’s first pair and waited longer than I should have to size up.

      • ChiLaw says

        Oh this is a good point too! I had really only been checking for length, where she’s very small, but she’s probably got wide-feet genes (both H and I have them). I wonder if the balls of her feet are getting squished! Poor girlie.

        • Anon S says

          ChiLaw, I assume you’re in Chicago? I recommend taking her to Nordstrom for a shoe fitting. We did that for my now 16 month old around 13 months at the recommendation of some of our other parent friends. They did a great job. What brand of shoes are the ones that your daughter has? Could be that maybe they are the same size but maybe they’re just not comfortable for her? I really like the See Kai Run line.

          • ChiLaw says

            I’m actually not in Chicago anymore (and am very sad about that) but I am near a mall with a Stride Rite (??? or something? some kind of kids shoe store) AND a Nordstroms (and a Macys where I have to make a return anyway) so I guess BabyChi and I are gonna have some quality mall time together this weekend!

        • Pigpen's Mama says

          Payless has some good toddler sneakers for wide feet (Champion) — so far my fat footed little one seems to be more comfortable in them than some other fancier/more expensive shoes. The vamp of the shoe is pretty flexible, but there’s a nice cushy/solid sole.

      • NewMomAnon says

        My mom always tells the story of my brother – she forgot to check his shoes when he was standing, and they got so small that he just stopped walking and reverted to crawling. My grandma finally suggested they get him some new shoes, and hey voila, up and running again.

        • PhilanthropyGirl says

          My poor kid wore them until I literally could not stuff his feet in. I knew they were snug – but he’d only worn them about 3 months and I thought there was no way he could have outgrown them so fast. Needless to say he’s in his third size in a year and probably headed toward a new size soon….

    • AnonMN says

      +1 for going to a shoe store. My son was in hand me downs (size 6) and I had new pairs in the next two sizes up (7 and 7.5). The hand me downs looked too small so I kept trying to put him in the new ones, which he deemed “too small” . I thought he meant too big, because, he’s a toddler and mixes those things up. Finally the hand me downs were looking rediculous so I took him to Stride Rite for a fitting. He was a size 8.5!! I felt terrible, expecially when he tried some on in the right size and decared loudly for all to hear “these are not too small mommy!!”. Apparently the hand me downs were stretched from so much wear and so were more comfortable than the too small new ones, but all of the above were technically too small. We’ve bought new ever since.

    • Anon S says

      P.S. you say there’s a “little” room in the toe, she could need a bigger size, b/c her foot probably moves around when she starts walking and running around so when you put the shoe on her, it may not be a good indication of how the shoe actually fits her when she’s moving around

    • Anonymous says

      Have her toenails been trimmed recently? I have had hiking boots that put all the stress on my toenails unless I had just trimmed them. Not really a thing a kid could explain.

  13. Pumped for Trial says

    I wanna thank everyone that gave me tips on how to handle pumping during trial last week. We had the final status conference today and I brought it up with the courtroom clerk. She was very understanding and will let me use the jury room during trial (the jurors don’t use it until deliberation). The judge takes 15-min morning and afternoon breaks in addition to a lunch break. I plan on bringing extra parts to save time on set up/clean up. Thanks for all your suggestions!

  14. Baby pants says

    Posted this too late yesterday. Need some life advice on pants!
    Mamas,
    What do you do for pants? Change into sweatpants when you get home? I seem to get every single pair of work pants dirty with mysterious smears as soon as I pick up my 7 month old from daycare. I can’t wash my work pants this often and drycleaners is a chore and an expense. Are there things I can do to avoid getting dirty or should I just change right away? I feel so frumpy in sweat pants though. If you do wear sweatpants for the rest of the day – do you have recommendations for something that looks decent?

    • Yoga pants! says

      I have 3 pairs of black yoga like pants – 1 is actual yoga pants, 2 are more presentable something between leggings and ponte pants – slim legs but feel like yoga pants. I change into these as soon as I walk in the door. I also have some comfy tees for at home. Pants are from Lands End a few years ago.

      • Anonymous says

        ponte pants. They can be worn to work, are as comfy as yoga pants, and do not need to be dry cleaned

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