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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 54 Comments · by

Everyone Thursday: ‘Claire’ Pump

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Gray Work Pump: Vince 'Claire' PumpIf you’re looking for a more modern heel to update your wardrobe, do consider the popular Vince Claire pump from Nordstrom, currently on sale. The straight-across-the-vamp cut is very trendy, while the 3.25″ heel is still mostly walkable. The pump was $375 but is now marked to $187, with several sizes still left. Vince ‘Claire’ Pump (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    Immediate threadjack:

    We have a two year old and a one year old. I’m ready to move the one year old to the table and out of the highchair. Can anyone recommend a seat (I’d be into buying two matching, if necessary) or a booster for sitting at the table?
    Second, what are everyone’s tips for minimizing the dinner routine/messes/organization? Right now, it feels like it takes us 20 minutes to get to the table and 20 minutes to leave the table between high chairs, bibs, sippy cups, etc. I’m pretty open to anything that allows us to minimize the equipment on the table and the number of surfaces that have to be wiped up. 40 minutes of table prep/cleaning a night is only mild hyperbole.

    Thanks!

    • EP-er says

      We bought these junior chairs from IKEA for my kids when they were ready to move out of the high chair. (We didn’t really use boosters.)

      http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/70253541/

      They are awesome because they sit higher at the table, but they are normal wooden chairs. They don’t have any straps, though — so the kids need to be pretty independent sitters. I think we started maybe around 2?

      What is your current routine that takes so long? I think that if you have plastic ware for the kids, the two year old can start setting the table for the kids & the silverware for the grown ups while you are finish up prep. Do you keep the bibs/wipes in the dining room? We did this & then it was easy to wipe off the kids & the table right there at the end of dinner.

    • mascot says

      We really liked the Kekaroo chair. Easy to clean and will hold an adult. Also, it’s great for that stage where they are too big for a booster, but too short for normal dining chairs.

  2. Philanthropy Girl says

    We use the fisher-price space saver chair – which attaches on to a chair, eliminating the highchair foot print. It has a tray, but at the right table in the right chair, it should push up to the table (our chairs are too high). I have friends who use an older version of the Summer Infant Sit ‘n’ Style – with tray for the little ones, without tray at the table for the older ones. I prefer keeping the tray for my LO – it can go in the dishwasher or be washed with the dishes, rather than having a giant mess on my table; that has been faster/easier for me.

    I’ve never timed our prep/clean up time – DH ends up doing a lot of it, as our LO has an early bed time and I’m typically overseeing bathtime while DH cleans up after meals. I’ve found division of duties and keeping LO out from underfoot seems to be the most sure way to reduce prep time. If I can, I let LO carry non-breakable/spillable things to the table (he’s 18 mos), otherwise he sits in his seat and watches. I ditched the bib; if we eat anything that stains, he eats without a shirt. We keep a sippy cup of milk in the fridge so we’re not rinsing out and refilling cups at meal times. Your 2 YO may be ready to start making the transition to a regular cup, which would help with stuff on the table. We also don’t do kiddie plates – we use Corell and let him have a dessert plate for his dinner.

    Not a ton of helpful tips, but that’s what we’ve done

    • Anonymous says

      Thanks. We have the space saver too, but our chairs are too high/table is too low and so we can’t push it up. We also can’t fit the tray into our dishwasher by about 1″ (we’ve tried for hours) and so we have to wash it by hand after every meal. This is what’s killing me. In a first world way.

      • Philanthropy Girl says

        We don’t have a dishwasher, so I feel you on the handwashing thing.

      • pockets says

        This might gross you (and many other people) out but I rarely wash my high chair tray – I usually just wipe it down with a Clorox wipe.

  3. Famouscait says

    I commented recently at how delighted I am that my 16m old is obedient. Example: he loves to climb the stairs. He got two steps up when he wasn’t supposed to, and from across the room he obeyed our command to come back down and back to the kitchen. Someone commented that I should “enjoy that while it lasts!”.

    I know testing boundaries is a phase of development for children, but I’d also like to think that obedience is something I can cultivate and instill in my child (while he’s actually a child; this all sounds very harsh [i.e. “obey” and “command”] but I do not agree with negotiating or asking a child to do things that are in fact mandatory). How much do you think this is decided by child temperament vs. by parenting style?

    • CHJ says

      I hate to be an “enjoy it while it lasts” person, but my son was the same way at that age. Now he’s 2.5 and has a very strong mind of his own. For something like climbing the stairs, he will cackle with glee if I tell him to stop. Developmentally, they start to see themselves as separate from their parents and will start developing their own opinions about what they want. My son is still very sweet and a “good kid,” but he definitely requires different parenting techniques than he did at 16 months.

      • Carrie M says

        +1.

        I see what you’re saying, Famouscait, and I also like when my toddler listens to us. But I also like when she tests us. I mean, I don’t like it in the moment and I hate that it takes us 2 hours to get out of the house in the morning! But I like that I am watching her develop her personality and confidence, I like that she has ideas of her own, is starting to articulate them to us, and is starting to use logic and be (somewhat) rational. I like that she’s pushing us and forcing us to be consistent on what matters. Like CHJ, my toddler overall is a “good kid” but it is totally different from 16 months or even 20 months.

        So to answer your question, it’s a combo of temperament and parenting style. If there are rules that are important to you (for us, it’s basically safety things and manners), then enforce them consistently. But, as my pediatrician told us at the 2 year appointment, for everything else that does not really matter – choose your battles, let the child make decisions and feel like she has a voice and you’re listening to it and respecting it.

        • DC Mom anon says

          This is beautiful – I want to print it out and put it where I can see it everyday.
          We are in the blissful (mostly) 18month stage where our toddler is helpful and sweet and listens, but I know there will be moments that will test me. When that happens I will reread your post. Thank you.

    • Anons says

      Eh, I think parenting is a years long marathon. You may have gotten that special unicorn child that will never test limits, but frankly it is healthy for a child to do so. Constantly. Starting at age 2 or 3 or so and lasting a good while. So I guess I am in the “enjoy it while it lasts” crowd. My kiddo is about the same age, but I’ve been reading a bunch of toddler books to prepare for the next stage.

    • pockets says

      I’m so sorry about this, but I almost snorted when I read this. You can’t cultivate obedience (OK, you probably can, but not with methods you’d want to employ). At some point they realize that they don’t have to do everything you tell them to do, and that no great harm will befall them if they don’t get off the stairs. You will never win a power struggle with a toddler because they are willing to do things that you are not (lay facedown on the sidewalk and refuse to move, pee on the floor, scream for 15 minutes over a pretzel) and even if you were willing to do them, they don’t care.

      • TBK says

        My husband and I have never peed on the floor in response to a toddler tantrum, but we do play the “I can scream, too” game. Not in public. But after having someone scream in your face for an hour because you turned off Elmo, screaming back can feel really good. Not yelling at the kid. Just going “ahhhhh!” really loud. Usually they stop angry screaming and we all just practice screaming loudly until one of the kids giggles. That said, I could totally scream over a pretzel for 15 min some days.

        • JTX says

          This is actually a method described in Dr. Karp’s “Happiest Toddler on the Block.” Mirroring back the emotions the kid is feeling so they know you understand.

      • JJ says

        pockets, this made me laugh. You’re so right. Sometimes when I’m in a battle of wills with my toddler/preschooler, I have to give myself little pep talks. “I will not be bested by a 2.5 year old! I’m a lawyer!”

        • pockets says

          Oh my god do not even get me started. I frequently think to myself, I went to an Ivy League school. I have a JD. Why am I arguing with a 2 year old over a pretzel????? AND WHY AM I LOSING????

          • Anonymous says

            I routinely say to my husband that I argue with adults all day, and I will not be bested by a smaller version of myself. To my husband’s credit (or in recognition of his strong impulse for self-preservation), he has yet to point out the many times I have lost to our child.

          • Carrie M says

            + millions

            Your comments are so spot on!

            Similar to the mirroring emotions point – I’ve had luck in two recent incidents verbalizing her emotions. I think she likes that I understand what’s going on with her. I’ve been letting her scream, throw herself to the floor, etc. while I walk away. After a few minutes, I went back, crouched down and said very softly, Are you sad/angry? She stopped screaming and answered yet. Then I said, I understand you’re sad/angry that you have to get dressed / can’t watch Elmo etc. But right now, we have to be good listeners and put clothes on so we can go do X fun thing (or boring thing that I try to make sound fun). Then we do a little snuggling and we move on. I have no faith that this will continue to work, or work every time. But I will take a win when I can get it!!

    • Famouscait says

      Thanks all for so many great viewpoints! And also, my favorite quote, from Anonymous:

      “…I will not be bested by a smaller version of myself.”

      I understand this may not (always) be true, but it is an adorable thought!! The person I was originally discussing with “negotiates” A LOT with her kids, so I was curious to see if it was more her personal viewpoint,or a larger truth. I grew up in a fairly strict household, and there’s a lot I want to emulate there. But I do realize 16m is a whole different world than 24m. Also, maybe we’ll just never introduce pretzels….

      • Anonymous says

        It depends on how you deal with negotiation and what is being negotiated. I actually don’t mind when my 4 year old tries to negotiate but we can talk about what the end goal is and if there is another way she can get want she wants. Obviously having time for those discussions isn’t always possible but when it is and she’s a good negotiator it kind of makes me think of her as a mini-lawyer advocating for herself. My favorite one lately was when she had to eat four more bites of asparagus before she got her strawberries for dessert and she offered to eat a fifth bite in exchange for extra strawberries.

      • Philanthropy Girl says

        These are good viewpoints.

        My LO is 18 months, and one minute he is super sweet, throwing his own diapers in the trash and putting his toys away. The next he is wildly throwing his toys around the room and hiding under the dining room table when it’s time for a diaper change. One night he obediently eats his dinner to get his fruit, the next night he’s throwing dinner on the floor and demanding fruit instead. One day I’m thinking “gosh, we’ve finally turned a corner on the come when you’re called issue” and the next day I’m certain this child will never learn to be obedient and he’s probably going to get hit by a car in the parking lot. Parenting is so much up and down and up and down!

        I feel like there are moments I see his little brain processing, trying to control his impulses – so I think that in that 18-36 month range, they’re learning so much about choosing to listen, or wildly running after their own thing. And it’s going to happen at different rates and different stages for different kids, probably pending both temperament and parenting styles.

        So, maybe you just have a really obedient kiddo. And maybe it’s just a phase. Either way – enjoy it!

      • Spirograph says

        Yup. I don’t negotiate with my almost-3 year old, but I will be happy to negotiate with him when he’s a older. Within reason, of course.

        I absolutely think it’s possible to parent yourself into a *less* obedient child than you would have otherwise had, but I’m not convinced it’s possible to parent yourself into a more-obedient child. Kids test limits (at a rate and with stubbornness directly related to temperament). A parent’s job is to make sure that they know which limits are firm and which are flexible. My son is obedient about 85% of the time, except when he’s tired, hungry, or it’s Tuesday. It’s always a crapshoot; I just have to be ready to stand my ground or redirect as appropriate. Sometimes what’s important to me is that kiddo understands I’m the boss and he is going to do XYZ because I said so. Sometimes what’s important to me is getting to work on time, so if won’t stop playing with his trains, I just say “I bet I can get my coat on before you do!” and we don’t talk about following directions.

        My daughter is a little younger than yours, Famouscait, and I was sooo tickled the other day when she obeyed my instruction to take her book back to the shelf and put it away. It was really tempting to think that’s just how she is and aren’t I lucky to have such a good kid? But she is feisty, and I have her brother to remind me that it’s almost certainly just a phase. :) Still, I’m going to enjoy every second of it.

        • Famouscait says

          This rings so true with me, about parenting yourself into a less obedient child (but not more so).

        • anne-on says

          Ha, yes to the tired or hungry. There are times I just stop talking/arguing because I know that all the strum und drag is because of exhaustion and low blood sugar. My son has actually apologized sometimes (at 3.5) after eating something for his behavior when he was hungry.

          My husband does not appreciate the hangry gene but its all my fault, so I do sympathize with my son.

          • Spirograph says

            My kids get their hangry gene from me, too. :) That’s adorable that your son apologizes afterward occasionally. *I* apologize to my husband for my hanger-induced rage, but it took me about 25 years to become that self-aware.

    • Momata says

      You are in what I like to call the cuddly koala bear phase; I think most kids that age in a stable environment regardless of temperament are pretty compliant. I agree with previous posters that assertions of independence at around 18m-3y are age appropriate and necessary. I reserve requirements for strict obedience (and any raised voice and strict tone of voice) for matters of safety and family routine, e.g., holding hands or being carried in a parking lot, sitting down to eat when it’s dinner time, diaper changes when dirty, etc etc. I’m currently trying to decide whether screaming (joyfully, but extremely high-pitched and loud) in the car is a matter of safety.

  4. Sarabeth says

    At this age? Parenting definitely matters, but 80% temperament. And your friend is right – unless your kid is REALLY unusual, he is going to start to test your boundaries much more frequently in the next year. My kid is at the more compliant end of the spectrum, but she is a thousand times more likely to test limits now (at 2.5) than she was a year ago. Which is totally normal development, and I would strongly encourage you to make your peace with it in advance. You still can (and should) set firm boundaries, but if you judge your parenting by whether your 2-3 year-old happily accepts those boundaries, you are setting yourself up to feel like a failure.

    • JJ says

      I agree completely. And it’s also a “pick your battles” situation. My oldest is (generally) very obedient and willing to please. My youngest is a boundary-pusher. If I set limits and didn’t give in on everything he does, we would literally never get out the door and get to daycare/go to bed/etc. So, somethings that aren’t that important in the long run, I just let him do whatever. Safety and long-term precedent setting decisions are where I focus my attention.

      • Anonymous says

        +1 This is us. We try to say yes when we can (want to wear your red Christmas dress and orange tights to daycare – nbd) but as a result the kids understand that when we say no we mean it. We are strict on safety issues – they have to hold our hands in parking lots. We tend to use the term “listen” and talk about doing good listening instead of ‘obey’. Consistency in boundaries is really important for kids feeling secure and feeling that they understand the ‘rules’ of the world and what is expected over them. When expectations are clear I find we get better behavior. Hardest part is when they are acting out for attention to not reward that behavior.

    • CPA Lady says

      Also, from what I’ve noticed, it’s possible to ask stupid questions that lead to unnecessary and frustrating negotiations. Like asking a 3 year old “do you want to put on sunscreen?” Obviously her answer is going to be no. So dont ask a child’s opinion on something when there is only one right answer. Say “we have to put on sunscreen before we go outside” or whatever. Ask questions only when you can live with the answer.

      • Anons says

        This! My favorite is the false choice: Would you like to put on your sunscreen first or your shoes first? (Ha ha, I win either way!) Or, would you like to put on your sunscreen now, or 30 seconds from now? (Again, I win with either choice!)

  5. Anonymous says

    For those of us with multiple children and too many balls in the air (spouse, no spouse, spouse works two jobs, whatever) there seem to be three schools of thought (other than the lean in school of thought – also valid and appropriate at the right time) for those who need to lean out:
    1. Stay full time employed, but lower your hours/quantity of performance/social/extra obligations, and see if anyone says anything;
    2. take part time hours for a few years. Short term cut vs. long term investment.

    It seems the biggest con of each of these is brought up regularly – on (1) you don’t want to get a reputation for not being a hard worker; on (2) once you go part time you have to “re-prove” yourself to get back to a full time salary and maybe having your employer think ill of you for a few years but be satisfied enough to keep paying you FT is better than having your employer like you but at half the salary and no guarantee of ever getting back to FT.

    From those who have tried either, what are the other pros and cons? Would you make the same choice again?

    • CHJ says

      There’s never going to be a perfect, one size fits all solution that works for every person/family/career. It’s all about finding the trade offs that work for you.

      For me personally, after DS was born, I went back to work at a law firm full time. Between the commute and my hours, I was away from home for 11-12 hours each day. But I still wasn’t doing “enough” in the eyes of my employer. So I felt like a slacker AND I felt overworked AND I missed my kid. It didn’t work for me.

      I ended up taking a 3 day/week position at another firm, and it’s so much better. I enjoy my days at work and I have more time for life. Because I’m only part time, I’m able to meet my employer’s expectations in the hours that I am at work. The prestige/success of my job has taken a hit, but that’s a hit I’m willing to take.

      • anon says

        Can I ask how the 3 days/ week works? Is it a litigation position? I am trying to figure out how to do this but can’t quite see how I could manage to be out of the office so much. For me, having to squeeze work in on those days would make me more unhappy than just knowing I’d be at work, I think.

        • CHJ says

          I think it helps that I was hired into a part-time job. The firm had enough work for a 60% position, but not more than that. If I came in 5 days a week, I would literally not have anything to do.

          And I am a litigator. My employer is flexible enough that if I have something, like a hearing, on a day that I would not normally be in the office, I will work that day and take a different day off that week. We still pay for full-time daycare in case I need to send DS in on a day I would normally be off.

          And you’d be surprised at how few true emergencies come up. I might send an email or two on a day off, but it will usually be something like booking a conference call for the following day to discuss an issue.

        • pockets says

          I’m also a litigator with a 3 days a week job. I was hired into a part time job. I have a commensurately reduced caseload. Agree that there are almost no emergencies that are actually emergencies (vs. people thinking they’re emergencies). I work in a big enough place that if I have a court date on a day I’m not supposed to work, someone else can cover for me (and I’m encouraged to schedule/adjourn as I see fit, but sometimes a judge only hears motions on a particular day, so I have no choice). If I have to get something done on a day off (usually phone calls to reschedule things), I’ll do it during my kid’s nap or put on Elmo or something.

    • NewMomAnon says

      Ok, I know I kvetch about my part-time status all the time, but here’s the thing – I need a part time arrangement. I just wish my firm had been a bit more flexible in the calculation of compensation, instead of saying, “60% of billable hours means 60% of salary, locked at the salary you were at when you dropped from 100%, and no benefits.”

      Here is my advice: know the math when you commit to a part-time status, and don’t assume it will be flexible to move up and down. If the math makes you angry at the FTE you want, then don’t do it.

      Your employer has an incentive to start you at a low FTE with the promise that you can come back up to a higher FTE, because they will likely get more hours out of you for less money. When I asked for 80% time, my employer said to start with 60% and that it would be “easy” to move back up to 80% later. I don’t think it was bad faith, but they knew the economics would be in their favor. I’m generating 90% of the revenues of the average full time associate, working 75% of the hours, and being paid 40% of the compensation (in part because I don’t qualify for benefits). They knew that math and I didn’t.

  6. TK says

    I have a problem that may not have a solution.

    My just-turned-2 year old sleeps until 7 a.m. about 3 days a week, which is the perfect time for him to sleep to, as he wakes up refreshed and delightful. The other 4 days a week (with no correlation to weekday vs. weekend), he wakes up around 5 or 5:15 because he’s pooped himself awake. He is still very tired when this happens, and it’s hard for him to fall back asleep after a diaper change, so he sleeps (if at all) only fitfully until 7, and he ‘wakes up’ cranky and tired.

    So here is the possibly unanswerable question: how do I stop those early morning poops? Different food for dinners? Feed him 2 hours later that he currently eats? Or alternatively, can anyone offer any tips on how to get him back into sounder sleep after a diaper change?

    • mascot says

      I think the ultimate solution is time and potty-training when he’s ready. Until then, low-light quiet diaper changes which I am sure you are already doing. We went through a period around age 3-4 where my son reliably pooped in the morning. Now it is mostly in the evening. I’m not sure how you can “reset” his clock though. Could you keep a food diary and see if there is any correlation? (eg lots of fruit at dinner means an early wake-up?)

    • Anonymous says

      Keep an eye on his diet and see if you can figure out anything that might be causing it. My son will wake up earlier on days where he didn’t eat as much for dinner. Is he pooping because he has been awaken by something? Maybe a garage truck with a new route/loud neighbor’s car leaving? If it’s noise then a white noise machine might help.

  7. LSC says

    Got a call that our daughter got into a great preschool for the Fall. She will be two at the time. The school is lovely and fairly convenient, but I am still waiting to hear from another school that is closer to our house and several hundred dollars less per month. I have to decide on school 1 and pay a hefty deposit before I will hear from school 2. What would you do?

    • Wow says

      can you call school 2 and tell them the situation and ask if there in any way to find out earlier? Barring that, I would go with school 1. If it’s a great preschool and you have a guaranteed spot I think that is all you can ask for. Or you can register for school 1 and drop out (and lose some tuition) if school 2 opens up.

    • NewMomAnon says

      I would call the second school and let them know that you need an answer sooner. They will understand.

    • Jdubs says

      What is the calculation of “hefty deposit” vs. how much you save over a month or a year at school 2? Can you make that back in a few months of going to school 2 if that comes through? That would be my first consideration.

    • MomAnon4This says

      Such is life, as we’ve just decided at our public school that has a great program with a late notification date that is angering some parents.
      For pre-k, our private preschool deposit was due before the results of the public pre-k lottery were known.
      For college… well, remember early application/early decision/financial aid packages/etc.? Only 16 more years! There’s always trade-offs.
      Sorry, no advice, just commiseration.

  8. Anonymous says

    I just booked a last minute trip to the Caribbean with my husband and 8 month old. I know this has been discussed a million times but any must-have items for travel with baby? Flight is 5 hours. Baby will have a crib there and she is formula fed. Happily we have a kitchen which should make making bottles easier. TIA!

    • AIMS says

      Either a bottle or a pacifier for take off and landing to help with ear congestion. Also, babies need a lot of sun protection – we just took a trip with our 3 mo. old and I found a muslin cover for her car seat/stroller was very helpful as was a mosquito net thingie for going out at dusk.

      Not a must have, but I also found a cover for the stroller/car seat was nice for gate check because it protects your stuff from all the elements.

  9. Anonymous says

    I want these shoes so badly, but the heel does not seem walkable to me, and I’m not sure what I would wear them with to get enough use out of them. Anyone have thoughts or own these?

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