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Since we’re well into the first week of October, I can start wearing turtlenecks, right?
I have a lot of form-fitting layering turtleneck, so this relaxed-fit one from Grey State will be a great addition to my wardrobe. It features elongated cuffs and romantic shirred sleeves. It’s made from a soft viscose/cotton/spandex blend that holds its shape and is wrinkle-resistant.
This is the perfect dress-up/dress-down item for fall. Add a pair of dress slacks or a pencil skirt and you have an easy, work-friendly outfit.
The Vienna Turtleneck is $88 and comes in “deep black” and “prosecco” (pictured). It’s available in sizes 0/XS to 4/XL.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Cb says
Ooh that is lovely and I’ve never thought that about a turtleneck before. It’s gotten chilly here in the UK, I need to bring my heavier coat back with me next week.
Pogo says
Turtlenecks just bring me back to the 90s. I can’t do it. I was wearing a turtleneck in every school picture until I was 12, I think.
Anon says
can anyone recommend any books or shows about moving geared towards a 3 year old? we are moving from a house to an apartment next month and i think my kid is going to completely not understand how her things will be coming with us, etc.
Cb says
We moved at about that age and he kind of got it without much prep, he went to nursery from one place and came “home” to the new place. We made sure to get his room set up first. It wasn’t a massive transition for him, although I do have a hilarious video of him walking in, pointing to the cardboard and packing tape and general moving dust, and declaring “why is this house so messy? there is rubbish on the floor?”
anon says
Daniel Tiger has a board book where the new neighbor Jodi moves into the neighborhood. Helped my kids with our move!
anon says
+1
anon says
Oh, and if you have a change-resistant LO, don’t forget to prep them for leaving old house. We were focused on new house, and then it took a while for him to understand that we can’t go back even to “visit” old house and someone else lives there now.
Realist says
Definitely take 5 minutes to do some sort of goodbye ritual in the old house and thank the old house for keeping you warm, safe, and creating so many happy memories. Possibly let them take a goodbye photo.
Anonymous says
We did this pre-covid. Kids were 3 and 4 at the time. One thing that really helped is each kid got a big box that they got to pack. They got to put their most important things in that box (loveys, blanket, and favorite toys). Each kid packed their box before daycare the morning of the move. That night when we moved into new house their box was waiting in their room – and they got to unpack it. Added bonus, the things kids can’t sleep without were in those boxes and we didn’t to worry about keeping up with those items separately.
The boxes for each kid went in their room as soon as boxes came in the house (like maybe a week before the move?). There was a lot of putting things in a out of the boxes prior to the day of the move, and I think that also helped them see what was going to happen/ have less anxiety about getting packed up.
AwayEmily says
This is such a great idea!
Anon says
does anyone have a kid who tends to play more by themselves and/or with adults? if so, how do you encourage kiddo to play more with other kids? or do you just let the kid be? kiddo is 3.5 and doesn’t seem to feel left out yet, but i am worried that as she gets older she isn’t going to have any buddies
Cb says
I asked this question in March this year and got some fantastic responses (and some hilarious ones). I wouldn’t worry about it too much, between 3.5 and 4, my kid has made quite a few new friends. I think he was waiting for the other kids to catch up to him verbally. I did speak with nursery staff and they did a bit of scaffolding for him, demonstrating how to invite other children into his play etc. They realised he needed a bit of a nudge, he was grumbling about the other children not playing with him while sitting at the nursery secretary’s desk, having a chat.
But some kids are a bit more independent. T doesn’t love really rough and tumble kids, and so will revert to spending time with adults when he feels uncomfortable or overwhelmed.
OP says
thanks. just had parent teacher conferences for our 3 year old twins and for one of them they said she seems to be very bright, but is not so interested in playing with the other kids. not sure she feels left out yet. glad to hear she isn’t the only kid out there like her.
GCA says
Cb, I am cut from the same cloth as your kid – very verbal early, temperamentally kind of a chill and calm kid anyway. The older I got, the more other kids caught up; by middle and high school I had a host of friends close in age. Especially with a happy, stable home life, I don’t think I particularly felt a lack of close friends in the preschool/ K years.
Cb says
I’m an only with an only, so I think that plays into it as well. I realise I’m quite extroverted but only on my own terms. You know those really intensely bonded pals, I never had those, but I know everyone and can have a chat with just about everyone.
Anon. says
Are we twins? I am the same.
I am an extrovert and get along well with most people, but have just 1 close friend from every phase of life.
Pogo says
I remembered responding back then about one of our little daycare buddies – he has opened up a bit more as he turned 3, but he’s just an old man trapped in a toddler’s body: not into taking risks or being rough, very verbal and thoughtful. He is happy to chat with the adults and he has opened up a bit more to the other kids. Our provider also lets him bring a couple of his own toys because he engages in a lot of solo imaginative play. I think some kids just have this temperament!
Anon says
Yep, my 3.5 year old is this way. She is an only, which I suspect is a factor and the one real friend she’s made so far at school is also an only child, which is not surprising to me. I’m an only child and all my close friends have been fellow onlies.
Her teachers aren’t too concerned, they say she plays fine with all the other kids at school, but at at a gathering with both adults and children, she definitely shows a lot of interest in talking to the adults. Her verbal skills aren’t especially advanced (she’s not behind, but doesn’t seem super advanced) so I don’t know if that’s a factor, I think she just spends so much time with adults at home that it comes naturally to her. Even when we’ve seen her daycare bestie outside of school, she’s so excited to see him and runs up to him and gives him a hug but then wants to talk to us and his parents as much or more than she talks to him (and he’s the same way).
I think being in a larger classroom is helping. Last year she was in a class of 8 with 3-4 teachers there most of the times, so kids like my daughter who wanted one on one adult attention could get it very regularly. Now she’s in a class of 16 with 2-3 teachers so there just isn’t the same opportunity for extended adult interaction. It was a ROUGH transition (the first month involved her crying that she ddin’t want to go to school for the first time ever), but she’s adjusting well and I think long term it’s good for her. Although she definitely still plays on her own a lot. I would say in about half the photos we get there are other kids and in the other half the photos she is alone or with a teacher.
Thanks for the words of wisdom re: breastfeeding & weaning says
I just wanted to thank everyone who provided me with some needed words of wisdom a few weeks ago regarding breastfeeding and weaning. The short version is that my daughter will be turning 1 this month and my milk supply starting tanking when I got my period back ~ 2 months ago, and so I was looking for advice on how to build it back up so that I didn’t have to deplete the stash of milk that I have frozen for post-weaning. I got a lot of very kind reality checks, encouraging me to stop stressing about it, dip into the freezer as needed, and enjoy these last few weeks of nursing.
You were all so right. I turned off my anxiety that day and have really enjoyed not feeling frantic about how many ounces I’m producing or freezing, and just focusing on the lovely journey it’s been and how grateful I am to my body (and to hers) for making this possible. And I absolutely wouldn’t have gotten to that mental space on my own without the (needed) reality checks you all provided, so THANK YOU. This is a good community.
Boston Legal Eagle says
What a great update! Thanks for posting back. Glad you’re feeling better.
AwayEmily says
This almost made me cry — I went through a similar journey with my first (stressing about supply, etc) but had a much more relaxed attitude with my second, and I attribute a lot of that improved attitude to the kind people on here who offered support and advice. I’m just SO happy for you and glad you are feeling great about this. Congrats.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I’m so glad to hear that!!!! Congratulations.
I want to echo – this community has always been pretty fantastic when it has come to nursing/feeding!
No Face says
Congrats! Such an important lesson for motherhood, and life in general. Learn to enjoy the journey instead of stressing about the destination that you picked before you even started.
Spirograph says
Hooray, what a great update! I’m so glad you were able to get to a happy space on this, congratulations!
anonamama says
What a great update. Thank you for sharing!! This group helped me at that point, too. I took a video (very darkened) and a couple photos of my last nursing session, then put them in a locked folder. It gives me a sense of pride for what we accomplished together, as you said. Amazing work, and cheers to YOU on baby’s first year.
Anon says
So great and thank you for sharing. Such a good reminder to try to enjoy the moment.
Pogo says
This makes me so happy! Weaning is so incredibly emotional, I don’t think people realize that, and you can’t always be 100% rational about it. The hormones are REAL. Give yourself lots of love throughout the process!!
Anoano says
Another scheduling question, our preschool suggested that it would be confusing for our 3 yo to sometimes get picked up at 3 and sometimes at 5. I am planning on going part time soon and want the option to have care till 5 if I need it (I expect it will be about 50/50 where she stays till 5). I could try to frontload work in the week so it’s more like MT till 5, WThF till 3, would that help with consistency? I just really don’t want to commit to 5 or 3 every single day and unfortunately I can’t just take off full days every week without care.
Cb says
Ugh, nurseries can be annoying about this stuff. We figured out the schedule of the day and use that as a marker, ie. we’ll pick you up before together time (3pm) or after together time (5pm)
EDAnon says
We do the same thing. Before nap, after nap, on the playground. We always tell them in the morning and it is fine.
For us, the problem tends to be more that if we wait too long, they don’t want to leave because it’s playground time!
Anonymous says
Yes, I would work with them for a schedule. I worked part time and had a similar preK arrangement and it was so nice to have the care until 5 when I needed it. My daycare didn’t care if I didn’t have a consistent schedule, but I tried to let little one know the days I would be late. She focused on the snack, which only the aftercare kids got. So I would say, “Today you have afternoon snack at school” if I would be late. I don’t think they care if it is inconsistent, as long as they know day by day when you will be there to pick them up. So my suggestion would be to set a schedule with the daycare and tell the 3 year old each morning when they will be picked up.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Does tuition change with the time? If not, why I would plan on picking him up at 5 PM everyday, and on my PT days use the “extra” time for a workout, errands, etc…or an afternoon coffee/book time.
Anonymous says
This.
Spirograph says
A million times this, I’m now daydreaming about how amazing that flex time would be for my mental and physical health…
Also, I doubt this is terribly confusing for your child (but I like the morning reminder that you get afternoon snack at school, or whatever); rather, I suspect that your daycare wants to be able to have consistent schedules for their staff.
Anonymous says
+1 to staffing reasons. Especially right now with the huge staffing shortage.
Op says
OP here, Oh yeah I am allllll about this. the “part time plan” is for my actual work hours to be 9-2 usually, and the rest is building in time to do anything else I want (including a little extra work if needed). I bill hours so at least I’ll get credit for it. Tuition does change for after school but not hugely.
TheElms says
How did you find this job / negotiate it with your current employer? I’d be really interested in an arrangement like this.
OP says
I work for a VERY flexible and family friendly firm. Really I am continuing to work as insurance for the future. Granted, I am going to be taking a huuuge paycut and this will delay promotions, but as the special needs of my other kid come to light, I just need the time more than money right now (and I have an insanely supportive partner willing to downgrade our lifestyle to do so). I kind of was like “I’m doing this or leaving” I guess the push from my family needs drove my dgaf attitude and it worked out (in theory)
Anonymous says
This. My 4 yo actually has a harder time when I pick him up early, so he stays til 4:30 every day and sometimes I can get an errand done before I pick him up.
Anonymous says
No ignore this. It’s easier for them that’s why they are pushing it.
NYCer says
+1. Your kid will be fine getting picked up earlier on some days. Just tell her in the morning what the plan is.
anon says
+100, has nothing to do with your kid. keep on keepin’ on.
Anon says
This. It’s total BS about your kid being confused. They want a schedule so it’s easier for them. Your kid will be fine. We normally pick up between 4:30 and 5 but I do early (3-3:30 pm) pickups once every week or two to have special one-on-one time with my kiddo and when my parents are in town we typically pick up by 4 pm every day so she can have more time with them. We give teachers and kiddo a heads up and nobody is confused. If the school absolutely wouldn’t allow your pickup time to vary, it would be a dealbreaker for me, but my husband and I have more flexibility in our jobs than many people.
Anonymous says
Honestly I would not worry about this. It’s not THAT confusing.
anon says
I’d just try the 3-5 range and see if your kiddo has a hard time or not. If you’re paying for till-5 care, they should still be staffed for that. Our 3.5 yo does not like change, but he is fine with weeks of being picked up at 4:30 and weeks of getting picked up at 5:30. With him, I’d just try to let him know if possible at drop-off (ie. see you after nap! or see you after nap + snack + free time!). Daughter wouldn’t care at all honestly.
anon says
My kids were fine with this. If we knew we were going to pick them up early we’d tell them in the morning “we’ll come get you right after snack!” but otherwise they knew we’d get them during afternoon outside time and the randomness was never an issue.
Anonymous says
counter-point. I think picking up at different times can be a disruption to a daycare schedule. I think it is less about your child and more about the fact that part of the job is keeping the kids focused. If your child is picked up, the other kids are now wondering when his/her parent is arriving. That does not mean I do not pick my child up when it works for my schedule.
Anonymous says
Disagree. After naptime, structured activities are done at most day cares and it’s free play time until pickup.
Anon says
I disagree. We always avoided snack and nap time (now it’s a requirement that you can’t pick up then because kids are unmasked to eat and sleep) and I avoid coming in the middle of group time as well. Beyond that, I will pick up my child when it works for my schedule. I’m not going to sacrifice time with my kid or grandparents’ time with kid because other kids might get jealous seeing my kid leave half an hour early. Your reasoning (about other children getting upset) would also seem to apply to picking up a child up early every day, even if it was consistent. Daycare teachers are used to managing a group of children with varying pickup times and fwiw, kids in my child’s class have never seemed fazed when she’s picked up early (“___ your mom is here!” [goes right back to playing]). I think there’s enough randomness to pickup times between doctor’s appointments, vacations, extracurricular activities etc. that most kids really don’t think another child being picked up is a single that their parents are coming soon.
Anon says
*sign, not single
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Nursing question :) DS #2 is 9 months. I only nurse AM/PM. PM he…barely nurses. Like 3 seconds each side. I usually top him off with 2 oz of formula in a bottle which he guzzles down, maybe even wants more. I’m not worried about supply or anything at this point, whatever happens, happens.
Is it possible to ONLY nurse in the AM, and wean the PM feeds? Selfishly, I’m going on a girls trip this weekend so this will also make pumping even simpler while away…
Anonymous says
Yeah clearly since you’re basically doing it now!
OP says
BAHAHAHA – I totally realized this once I typed it, neat.
No Face says
Lol, your body solved this problem for you.
Pogo says
This behavior was what my first was like when he weaned and it was very easy. I would lean into it if you’re ready to!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, I think by the end of nursing my kids, I mostly had supply in the mornings and nighttime was for the ritual/comfort as I didn’t have much left. This seems like it’ll help with the weaning in general, as you hopefully won’t have too much supply left when you stop.
Anon says
Yes but I will add that this sort of very slow, gradual weaning (in hindsight) really drew out the emotional comedown for me… I was pretty crabby/blue with nursing at only 1x day at the very end there, and (again, in hindsight only was this visible) much better after full weaning.
OP says
100% understand. My body does not respond until I’m fully weaned. My hormones are active, weight stays on…until I’m DONE with nursing. I learned this with DS #1, and even with only nursing 2x/day with DS #2, seeing that it makes no difference on these fronts.
Anon says
recs for storing kid outdoor toys? do people keep them in the garage? in a bin outside? moving to a house for the first time and have never had a backyard or garage
Anon says
What kind of toys? In our yard mud kitchen stuff lives in the mud kitchen and balls just roam loose in the yard. Summer stuff (water table, wading poo) live in the shed and just come out when we use them. The plastic slide mostly lives outside, though we put it away in the shed when we don’t anticipate using it for a while. Chalk lives in a box next to the front door. Bikes/scooters live either in the garage or the shed, depending on how popular they currently are.
Mary Moo Cow says
We do both. A shed for a laundry basket full of balls, bats, etc. and the garage for bikes, scooters, wagon, etc. If you have a tall raised deck, you can store some weatherproof stuff under that (we covered the ground underneath with landscape fabric, covered it with small gravel, and store the hose box, outdoor chairs, and outdoor bins with toys under it.)
Spirograph says
We do not have a garage. Bikes, scooters and the tennis bag are in the garden shed. We have a big box — the kind with a hinged lid intended to store outdoor furniture cushions — where we throw all the shovels, soccer balls, baseball bats, etc. My kids were pretty young when I first got it and I was concerned about them slamming their hands or getting trapped inside, so I focused on getting one with a non-latching lid that stays open and slow-closes. (The problem now is that they often forget to close the lid, and then everything gets soaked when it rains… but you can’t win them all.)
Pogo says
In theory they live in the garage but in practice “the crew” is always “working on a road” or something and we have trucks scattered around the garden constantly. We have some plastic shelving from Costco in the garage as well as bins for corralling smaller stuff.
Anon says
I feel like it should be kept in our garage, but our garage is gross and needs to be redone so they’re around the yard or on the porch.
Anon says
bday gift for a 2 year old boy who is child number 3. any ideas?
Anon says
A new Duplo set to add to their existing collection? Ones with transportation pieces (trains, cars, planes) are the biggest hit with my kids around 2.
Cb says
Ooh there is a new camping duplo set that I think is very, very cool.
NYCer says
His own scooter?
anon says
Personalized pillow or nap mat/sleeping bag. If daycare kid, there are great all-in-one sleep mats with built-in pillow for daycare cots. My LOs love DD’s and play “naptime” with it all weekend. Plus, #3 probably would appreciate that it is THEIRS specifically.
Anon says
depending on price and ages of older ones, a scooter if there aren’t right-sized hand me downs available?
AwayEmily says
Does anyone have specific workbook/coloring book/sticker book recommendations for an (average, non-genius) 5yo? They do not have to be at all educational. Ideally something that doesn’t require reading — I have really fond memories of the “Anti Coloring Book” as a kid but it requires literacy, as do many of the (honestly kind of boring) workbooks designed for kids. I feel like there are a kabillion options and I have no idea what she will actually enjoy. Asking because she found an old Pre-K workbook recently that I got at the beginning of the pandemic and was into it but I didn’t love having to read her the instructions for each page (e.g. “find the matching whatever”).
anon in brooklyn says
My 5yo really enjoys the Brain Games Sticker by letter books and the Melissa and Doug scissor skills activity books.
Mary Moo Cow says
Paint by Sticker for Kids by Workman is pretty good. My 5 year old loved them it but really got into it around 5.5 (and at 6 and some change, still loves them.) It requires recognizing numbers, but no words. I like these more than the Crayola and MindGames/Brain Game versions because there are no instructions to read. DD also really likes the Kumon mazes and numbers workbooks but she’s 6. They don’t have much instruction but do require literacy.
anon says
Seconding the Paint by Sticker. My 4yos can do it pretty independently and even if your kid doesn’t know that 63 is sixty-three, she just needs to be able to match 63 on the sticker to 63 on the picture page.
SC says
My son really liked color-by-number books when he was 5. At first, we had to help him read the color names, but we did that and drew a line under or through the key so he’d remember which color it was. After a few pages, he could sight read all the colors that book used. (Some were less familiar, like “magenta” and “turquoise.”)
Spirograph says
My daughter has an Usborne sticker book that she really likes. There are some words on each page, but they’re not the point… Basically, there’s a pretty illustration and you can stick the themed unicorns all over it to make your own scene. They probably have ones other than Unicorns… She also was gifted some Scratch and Sketch books. They have a (not great) story, but the real point is to color in the illustrations / do the scratch-off on the facing picture.
All my kids like Highlights Hidden Picture books.
Anonymous says
Dot to dot books, color by number, hidden picture books, books of mazes, spot the difference books. Lots of the ones we have are just one type of book (all spot the difference, etc.) so kiddo just knows which books are which after a while.
govtattymom says
I know lots of people are looking for this dream setup, but any suggestions for work-at-home attorney jobs? I’ve primarily worked for the federal government doing ethics, FOIA, and decision writing. I moved during the pandemic due to childcare issues and may need to find a new job when my boss calls people back to the office. Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
anon says
If you don’t need it to be 100% remote (like, you can do an occasional hearing/client meeting, etc.), one indicator might be a recently down-sized office. My labor/employment firm has downsized and is keeping us all WFH. I’m still available to go in person as needed, but 99% of the time it is from my home office. I also have a friend who is doing doc review and that’s shifted much more remote and looks like it will stay that way.
Govt Anon Today says
Fed atty here. I think that under the current administration, the government is actively trying to reduce its’ physical footprint. The rumor at my agency is that our entire OGC will be work-from-home within a year or two in order to save money on office space. Things are more remote-work friendly than before the pandemic. So I think there are opportunities in the federal government.
Realist says
Melissa and Doug Make a Face Sticker Pad
The DK Ultimate Sticker books
Melissa and Doug Puffy Sticker Activity Books (reusable)
Anonymous says
Consider working for yourself, possibly as more of a contract attorney to other attorneys. You could do some networking to gauge who in your area might give you work. This may not work if you need a steady income or benefits, but it is the best way to set your own hours. Also, if you will have to get a new job anyway, don’t be afraid to throw an ultimatum at your current boss. They may let you work remote. Of course, have a Plan B for your transition if the ultimatum fails and you have to quit.
Anonymous says
Threading fail. This is for govtattymom.
Anon says
What is etiquette on preschool fundraisers? This is my first and she’s been a student there for 3 weeks. I’m not slinging pies. They’re trying to raise “at least $500.” I would happily write check for the whole dang thing. Experienced moms, what do I do?
Anonymous says
Nothing. I do not participate at all. I pay for my for profit preschool I am not fundraising for them too.
anon says
I write a generous check once a year to my children’s nonprofit preschool. They don’t do fundraisers like this because no one has time and, frankly, many families are happy to write generous checks.
I wouldn’t participate in or donate to a for-profit preschool unless there were extenuating circumstances (for example, it’s a home daycare with an unexpected need or trying to upgrade something).
anon says
I’ll add that it’s common in my community to give as generously as one would to other worthwhile nonprofits. Daycare tuition is expensive because quality teachers and good staffing ratios are expensive, but more money can fund worthwhile improvements. Pricing everything into tuition means more families are priced out of very high quality childcare, so it’s better to have a donation model so families for whom it’s not a burden can give more.
Before I get off my soapbox, I’ll say I have no clue what the use is of asking parents to sell pies to raise a small amount of money, though.
Anon says
They’ll be happy if you write a check. I usually give $50-100.
anon says
This drives me nuts. Our old daycare did this too. I’d write a $50 check and call it a day. We were at our daycare a while before their fundraiser and donated like $100 and they were thrilled. I know these places have slim profit margins but it seems like basic updates should be part of tuition? At any rate, I felt like ok they need new toilets at the end of the day, and I want my kid in a safe bathroom so whatever. I do think this is different for coops, preschools, etc. that are not traditional Mon-Fri 9-5 daycare. Really for any fundraiser, I prefer writing a check than buying overpriced stuff I don’t like for the school/whatever to only make a few cents on the dollar. The exception is girl scout cookies.
Hmmm says
Write a check for however much you want to give and call it a day. I hate fundraisers but I donate because the profit margins at daycares are so slim.
EDAnon says
I also just write a check and don’t participate in things (except the fun ones!).
Anon says
Kids have Thanksgiving and Christmas adjacent birthdays. DH’s side of the family is big on gift-giving. I know the request for what to get is coming soon given supply chain issues.
Any ideas? Kids will be 1 and 4. I don’t think college donations will happen as that side of the family likes to give something tangible. We have plenty of books (plus we go to the library regularly), and I don’t like too many “big” toys/clutter. We’re already members at a museum, and I don’t want another membership. Older kid will need clothes but other than that…I’m stumped.
anon says
Are you anti all toys? If there are categories you already have (dress up, wooden blocks, magnatiles, trains and tracks, legos, etc) can you ask for something to supplement those? I find that means I don’t need to find a place to store something new and my kids still think it’s fun and exciting.
Or consumables like art supplies or stickers?
OP says
Wooden blocks would be a great idea – we don’t have them, and both kids could play with them for a while! Dress-up, we also don’t have much in that vein, so that could be fun.
I asked for Magnatiles years ago, and we got an off-brand version that I don’t know if compatible with the additional build-ons…
Anon says
Are you somewhere that snows? Would your kids like a sled? It’s the kind of thing that can be a family gift or they can each have one. It does have a large footprint, and you can only use it a couple times a year, but i think the fun factor is pretty high. I always forget to buy one until it’s too late, and then the kids are sad.
OP says
The opposite – in a sub-tropical climate, but I think something like an inflatable splash pad could be great and your post made me think of it!
Anonymous says
My oldest is 4 and the twins will be 1 just after the holidays. I’ve asked for Duplos: 4 y/o will need to put the legos away soon so little mouths can’t get to them and I thought this was a decent compromise (I realize 1 year olds will not play with Duplos but they can at least be out). We already have: play food, Brio trains, magnatiles, and stacking cups but those are other good gifts. I’m debating getting the babies personalized loveys so that’s another baby gift option.
Tea/Coffee says
Are any of the family local (and trustworthy)? At 4, my kids would have gone gaga for a 1:1 ice cream date with Auntie Sue or whatever.
Otherwise, consumables. Art supplies, kinetic sand, Color Wonder stuff.
Small activity kits, coloring books, sticker packs… that you can hide and then dole out slowly for rainy days, car rides, sick days etc?
The baby is harder… do you have snow boots, snowsuit, etc (if needed)? Puzzles? Bath toys / bath crayons / etc? Do you need new toddler friendly plates, sippies, etc?
OP says
My side of the family is local, and I can see my older one LOVING this idea with my brother.
This also inspired me to put the Ahimsa stainless steel sets on the list – I’ve been coveting for a bit but can’t justify the price since I just re-heat on the microwave in glass or stove before serving.
No Face says
Magnatiles are fun and easy to store. My kids love bathtime consumables – bath crayons, tablets that change the color, bath soap that is “slime.” My mother in law likes buying my kids’ winter coats. We have a giant thing of kinetic sand that we keep outside.
Spirograph says
If you don’t have wooden train tracks, I highly recommend them. 1. *I* think they’re fun. 2. Longevity: we got our first set when oldest was 2, and he’s now almost 9 and still likes it, as do the younger kids. 3. you don’t need a ton for them to be fun, but train sets are almost infinitely expandable… people can get you extra bridges, or paint-your-own trains, or a turntable, or tunnels, etc etc. 4. They’re often at garage sales, so if your family is so inclined, they can get a bunch for a reasonable price. 5. No organization or careful storage needed, just dump them all in a box/basket.
You do not need a train table; that’s a higher degree of difficulty and requires more planning than just making the trains go all over the floor.
Pogo says
This thread is helpful to me because mine are the same ages!
One expected thing I bought and love is a visual schedule chart from Etsy. I got a kit that velcros (so the 4yo can do it himself) with a morning, afternoon and night option with like 12 spots on it. I got it originally to help with transitions and getting through the routine but what we love is to use it on weekends to decide what to do. It has little cards for EVERYTHING, and 4yo will pick out what he wants to do that day. Last week before we had even come downstairs at 7am he had the whole day planned, including baking, sensory play, and dress up. He was already in a dinosaur costume and I was like, why are you a dinosaur and he goes “Oh, see – dress up is right after breakfast!” and points at his schedule. They have REALLY nice ones that are upwards of $100 but I think this one was like $45?
Pogo says
*unexpected, duh. lol. I can post an actual link if you are interested!
OP says
Sure! It sounds like a nice-to-have :) Also…..the dino costume….BAHAHHAHAHAHA
Pogo says
https://www.etsy.com/shop/TinyTotRewardCharts
This is the shop I used. Like I said, truly did not intend for the 4yo to enjoy it as much as he does.
Anonymous says
lol we have so many dino costumes…. Ranging from a headband with spikes + velcro belt with a tail + claw mittens to a mask that goes over your head (looking out of the dino’s mouth) to a full body-zip up with a hood. I never know when a dinosaur might show up for a meal.
Anonymous says
You don’t want a zoo membership (with matching animal t-shirts or stuffies)?
Ask for art supplies.
Anon says
I posted a while back asking about booster seats for three elementary school-aged brothers we’re adopting. We don’t have any kids, and we’ll be getting the boys in about a month, and I’m kinda starting to freak out haha! Can you tell me what things I’d need for them that I haven’t thought of yet?
Their rooms are done – they have sheets and blankets and towels. They each have a stuffed animal. We have lots of books for them and a cozy reading corner. Lots of crayons and coloring books since two are big artists. (I was waiting to buy more supplies until I learn more about what they like.) Grandparents are buying them bikes for Christmas, and we plan to get a little ropes course thing and a trampoline. We have some legos and board games – ditto on waiting to get to know them before buying more. Tons of clothes, though no PJs, underwear or socks yet since that seemed so intimate I needed to wait (but what am I waiting for?).
We have a pediatrician and I’ve talked to their school. I bought all their school supplies when the lists came out this summer (they’ll start with the new semester in January).
What am I missing? What should we have but I haven’t thought of?
Anon says
i’m sure you have lots of nervous energy! this all sounds wonderful! maybe you can take them to pick out a backpack for school before they start. i’m not sure how old the kids are, but do you have cups/plates/utensils that are age appropriate? same thing with toiletries. where are they coming from? will they be bringing some stuff with them? i am not an expert on adoption at all and i’m sure there are lots of more qualified people who can give you tips on how to make them feel like part of the family. also- even though they are older elementary, you might want to childproof certain areas (like with cleaning supplies, etc.). Not sure what the weather is like where you live, but do they need cold weather gear? i am very excited for you and your growing family. please report back on how it is going. i’m sure there will be bumps along the way like every parenting journey and also many special magical moments.
Anon says
This comment is seriously the sweetest. Maybe it’s strange to say to a total internet stranger, but my heart feels so full for you and these three boys coming into such a loving and generous home. Congratulations – this is so exciting!
Honestly, it sounds like you mostly have it covered. Maybe a few soccer/basketballs/footballs for outdoor play, and/or recommendations for local activities to get them into once everyone feels settled? I would also maybe set aside a budget to take them to Target or somewhere to pick out a piece of art or toy to make their room feel like “theirs”? It really sounds like you’re in great shape, though. Congratulations again!
Spirograph says
I echo absolutely all of this. I’m sure these boys have had a tough time that’s resulting in their placement, but their luck is taking a turn for the better in joining your family!
It sounds like you have the basics well-covered, and elementary kids start to have lots of opinions, so the suggestion to have a budget for each of them to personalize their space is a great one.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 million to this. It sounds like they will be well-loved in your home.
strategy mom says
Really excited for you and your family!!
Anonymous says
Are you part of a foster parent group? If not, I encourage you to join one ASAP. Other foster parents are a huge resource. They’ve seen it all.
Specific advice: Buy all the snacks! Be prepared (you or your husband) to teach them how to bathe and groom themselves. That’s a great instinct to let them pick their own undies, socks and pjs. I’d have a few on hand for when they arrive but then try to take them to choose their own if you can. Can you also take them light grocery shopping? Let them pick a few foods they enjoy (and don’t sweat if it’s total junk). Make sure you have all the paperwork to enroll them in school: immunization records, proof of ID, etc. Make sure their pediatrician knows you need an appointment a day or two after they arrive: I’d go ahead and make the appointments if they let you. Be prepared for them to be a bit reticent at least at first: this is a big change for them. You’re going to do great!
anon says
Sound machine, nightlights for room and bathroom (new place, don’t know way around), range of food/snacks/comfort foods.
Maybe clear a kid-height cupboard for them to put their cups/plates, an accessible snack bin, a kid-height hook for coat/backpack. (but I have toddlers so not sure this is necessary at that age???)
Good luck!
Pogo says
One thing that might be nice is to get them library cards right away so they can pick their own library books, too.
anonamama says
Oh wow, this is so exciting! Maybe you can do 1-1 shopping dates in the next couple months with each to pick out the things they might want to have preference over. Without knowing the backstory, I can only imagine they will be excited at the prospect of new rooms, new toys, and the huge surprises coming at Christmas. My heart is full for you!!
Anonymous says
Things to think about:
-a trusted babysitter for a regular date night or weekend afternoon for you and DH (every week or every other week)
-lean into all the things that will make the transition easier for you and the kids. This might mean play therapy, a positive parenting class, a family yoga class, whatever would seem to work for you. I imagine the situation could be complicated, so embrace the messy human aspects and muddle your way through them. These are the parts where it seems there is no guidebook, so trust yourself and bring in the resources you need to empower you and the kids to be your best selves (and forgive them and yourself when you and they are inevitably your worst selves at times). If they have trauma, give them the time and space and resources to work through that.
Good luck! What an amazing time you have ahead of you!
anon says
You’ve got this!
I don’t have adoption experience, but I think every parent would benefit from knowing where to get help for common issues before their children arrive so it’s not a scramble to find support. Hopefully the agency you’re working with can provide adoption-specific referrals, but you might also check with friends/colleagues on whom they’ve used. Where I am, there’s a nonprofit with parenting consultants that many families have used and loved.
I think it’s likely that the kids will want to pick out their own clothes, but I think it’s great that you have clothes to get started. I’d also have some pajamas, underwear, and socks on hand to get them started so there’s no rush.
anon a mouse says
I love this so much and am so happy for your growing family!
Consider how you may want to celebrate birthdays — it’s easy now to grab a “Happy Birthday” banner, and a 100-pack of balloons, and candles, etc. In my family the birthday celebrant always had a special plate and cup. (Also, balloons are great to have on hand for rainy days in general.)
What about picture frames in case they have photos of people who are important to them?
Also cold weather gear if you live somewhere that gets a lot of snow — snow bibs, snow boots, snow gloves, etc.
Anonymous says
Agree with others that foster parent groups would be a great resource for adding elementary aged kids to your family, especially if there is a history of trauma.
Anonymous says
Do you have after-school care lined up?
Anonymous says
There’s a furniture shortage, so if you’re considering desks, kid size chairs and tables or rocking chairs, I’d start looking now.
I second the kid size dishes. Each one will need waterbottles and get a whole bunch of clothing and lunchbox labels.
Also maybe some small safe/lockboxes? I had one with a coin slot on the top as a kid I kept my allowance and “treasures” in one. They sometimes have name plates that can be engraved. I feel like having “private” things is a must have in a family with multiple kids.
Anon Lawyer says
WWYD – should i just give up on having a non-family birthday party for my soon-to-be 2-year-old’s November birthday? We’re in the Pacific Northwest so there’s a very high chance it’ll be cold and rainy on whatever day I chose so outside is probably just not fun for anyone, and I’m not sure people are going to want to do inside or if it’s responsible. There’s a neighborhood play space with a big ‘gross motor’ play area I could rent that would allow us to spread out more than my house, but is it just a bad idea?
Anon says
I realize this would be late notice, but could you move up the birthday to October when there is a better likelihood of decent weather so that you could still do outside?
Anonymous says
Yeah I’d just skip it
Pogo says
+1 especially since at 2 they don’t get it. I only started doing “friend” birthday parties at 4, regardless of pandemic status, and even then, if it was winter I would not have invited people. We have only been invited to outdoor parties here so far so that seems to be the trend.
Anon says
We’re not doing indoor birthday places (especially at a public playplace – they were petri dishes before Covid) until kids can get vaccinated, and most people I know feel the same way. But I definitely run in cautious Covid circles, I’m sure there are people who would be fine with this. It just depends on how your guests feel. I would be inclined to skip it and just plan a big party for next year. 3 or even 4 is when they really start to see birthdays as social events. A 2 year old will be delighted with presents, cake and a balloon at home. My daughter turned 2 pre-Covid and we didn’t do anything outside the family.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I wouldn’t do or go to an indoor birthday party right now (or the next few months) with non-family. A 2 year old won’t really have friends or care about a traditional party so it would just be for you to meet other parents. And I’m not sure that other parents would have much fun with Covid still out there. You could try outdoors, but honestly it sounds more stressful than it’s worth for, again, a 2 year old who won’t care.
FWIW, my youngest is turning 3 soon and we haven’t had a non-family party for him yet nor plan to this year.
Anon says
at age 2, the birthday party is more for you than the kid. for my twins at age 2 they were just so excited to eat cake and get a balloon
Anon Lawyer says
Thanks, sounds like it’s unanimous. I agree she won’t care – I just felt momentarily bad because she’s been really into this book about a kid who turns two and has a party lately but she is also 2 so it’s totally abstract to her. Also I think I have a lot of Covid mom guilt in general.
Anon says
I get it, my daughter will likely not be able to have a 4th birthday party this year (darn winter birthdays), despite knowing what a birthday party is and attending several outdoor parties this summer and fall and it makes me sad. In the big scheme of things I know this is not going to scar her for life, but it’s still ok to be sad about it.
Anonymous says
You can call it a party and literally invite 1 person outside of immediate family (keep it bubbled). Have balloons (helium!!) a cake. That will be special for a 2 year old.
Anonymous says
I would hold off and if there is a weekend day where the weather looks good, do a last minute playground party. Donuts, coffee, balloons, done.
Anon says
Great idea – 1 or 2 friends or neighbors with a treat and balloon is plenty for a two year old bday, they will love it!
Anon says
I’m having friends over and the six kids will range from 3.5 to 7.5. Any suggestions for activities or games to entertain the age 3-7 kids?
Spirograph says
Are any of these kids yours? If so, you have everything you need; Other People’s Toys are sufficiently entertaining that you don’t need to plan anything else.
Otherwise, blocks. Bubbles and balls if outdoors.
Anonymous says
+1 my daughter is 4.5 and any kid in that age range plays at any of our houses with zero adult interaction. Like we check if they’re safe and doors need to stay open, but they are fully immersed in play and it’s AWESOME. Unless you know there’s a particularly quiet kid that may prefer coloring, just let them run wild. We love parties at this age now.
Anon says
Sidewalk chalk, bubbles.
Hobby Lobby also sells little seasonal craft kits – like a scarecrow form with stickers of clothes to “dress” the scarecrow (repeat for turkeys, pilgrims, snowmen, gingerbread people, elves, etc). The kids can take them home when they’re done. They’ve been big hits at parties. The fall ones are in the fall aisle; the winter ones are always on those little individual floating displays in the middle of the main aisles.
Anon says
stomp rocket and soccer balls go over really well when we have that age group hanging out in our backyard.
Nerf guns too.
Anon says
My 2 year old has decided that he wants to sleep on the floor. I figured maybe it was a sign to convert his crib to a toddler bed, which we did. He likes climbing in and out of it but is still a firmly committed floor sleeper. Is this a common phase? I don’t really care that he’s doing it but it seems so uncomfortable.
Toddler tenacity says
I feel like this isn’t out of the norm. Maybe get him a sleeping bag for padding? My kiddo has a pottery barn kids one that he loves. Or, let him be and figure out that the bed is more comfy. Or, use the sleeping bag as a transition. But if your kid is as strong-willed as mine, I’d just roll with it.
Anonymous says
I did the same thing for the same reason two weeks ago with my toddler and … he has been sleeping on the floor for two weeks.
Anon says
I think it’s somewhat normal. My 3 year old recently decided to spend ~2 weeks sleeping in the corner of her room in a pile of stuffed animals. She went back to sleeping in her bed on her own. As long as they sleep, I think it’s okay?
Pogo says
+1 when mine is a dinosaur (see above) he makes a dino ‘nest’ on the floor and sleeps there. He goes back to the bed when he’s ready.
Anonymous says
Put his mattress on the floor. It’s really not a problem.
DLC says
Our two oldest kids had a phase like this. We even put the mattress on the floor for the middle one and he still slept on the floor next to the mattress. The oldest on would sleep on her camping mat on the floor. They sleep in beds now, though (now 4 and 9)