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Cb says
What is everyone doing with the kiddos this weekend? We were on holiday last week (Porto was fab!) so a bit of catch-up this weekend. We’re trialing a new routine where my husband and toddler go to tumbling and grocery shopping on Saturday am and I stay home with a podcast on and organise our lives, leaving the rest of the weekend free for family time. We’ll see how it goes. It’s the festival season in my city which is great or horrific, depending on how much you need to move about town in a timely fashion. Husband and toddler are seeing a show on Sunday and then I’m taking the toddler on Tuesday for another one.
Anon says
We got a membership to our local kid’s science museum, mostly for the ASTC passport privileges (check out this program if you travel a lot!) so we’ll probably go there for the first time with our 17 month old. And we’ll probably go to the public library which is part of our regular weekend routine now. Not doing anything too exciting, because we’re gearing up for a busy month (in-laws are visiting for a week over Labor Day, then we’re accompanying husband on a work trip in mid-September and then we’re going to visit my husband’s sister the first weekend of October…so we need our quiet days at home while we have ’em!)
EP-er says
+1 on the ASTC privileges! I love supporting our local place, but we get so many savings out of town. One trip to the Chicago Museum of Science & Industry costs more than my local membership!
Anon says
Crazy – I just looked and our local membership is $210 a year including ASTC privileges, and we certainly don’t visit enough science museums when we travel to make that worth it.
Anon says
Yeah, it’s definitely a better deal if you live in bumf*ck and can get a really cheap membership somewhere. I’m the person who mentioned this originally (9:28 Anon). My situation isn’t as good as EP-er…it would only cost $50 to take our family to Museum of Science and Industry but the family membership to our local museum is $100. However, we travel a lot – my husband’s trip next month is to Madison, WI and kiddo and I will visit the children’s museum there for free, for example. We’re going to Louisville, KY in the winter and will check out all the museums there that our passport lets us into. Random travels plus occasional visits to our local place make this a good deal for us, I think. Plus I like the fact that it’s all paid for, so you don’t feel bad about dropping into a museum fro 30 minutes. If you pay full price, you feel like you have to stay there all day (or at least I do).
EP-er says
It does depend on your family size & local museums…. we don’t live in BF, but we are in the mid-west. We have 3 or 4 local places that participate in ASTC — some are more expensive. We choose to support the smaller place near our home, which is $75/year. When we went to Chicago, just our family is $70 — when we take grandma with us, they give her a ticket, too, which would bring our total to just under $100. We do lots of weekend trips to ASTC locations within 4-5 hours of our home throughout the year — totally worth it for us!
I also echo the idea that with a membership, we don’t feel bad about popping in for an hour or two!
SC says
+1. Our children’s museum is relocating this summer, and I’m excited about the new building and exhibits! The old one was pretty run down, and we had let our membership expire. We bought another membership in May for the ASTC passport privileges, and our membership has already pretty much paid for itself with entry into the Orlando and Nashville science museums!
EB0220 says
We’ve started doing something similar to your Saturday routine test and it’s awesome. My husband takes the girls to martial arts on Monday night and I pick up the groceries, put them away and do some meal prep for the week in peace. It’s great.
Anon says
We have a kids birthday pool party Saturday afternoon and might check out a classic car meetup Sunday morning – apparently they have brunch and coffee at the location, otherwise I would typically not agree. Also need to catch up on housework (we were out of town last weekend and are heading out for two weeks next week). Our grocery delivery will arrive Saturday morning before we’re even awake (yay for unattended delivery).
Sasha says
Tomorrow I’m hosting a “movie night” for my kids and 3 of their friends. We order pizza, put the movie on in the playroom, and let the kids play for 2 hours, then their parents pick them up at the end of the night. It’s very low-stress for me since the kids entertain themselves, and I don’t care at all if they get pizza and lemonade all over the place.
Sunday will be church, then heading to an open house for my daughter’s dance studio. Which reminds me, I need to have her try on her ballet clothes before we go so I don’t get suckered into buying stuff we don’t need!
Studio open house also says
My daughters dance studio has an open house Sunday after church! You aren’t in Houston are you?
SC says
We’re going to some friends’ house this evening to cook out and swim in the pool. Our family has become pretty good friends with another family we met through daycare, which is great! After everyone is done swimming (and the pool gate is locked), the kids play well together or watch a movie, and the adults drink wine.
SC says
Oh, and no real plans the rest of the weekend. Theoretically, I’d like to take Kiddo to the zoo–there are new lions, but our zoo also has a water park with a lazy river and splash pad in the summer. It would be like a whole-day thing though, and I haven’t checked the weather, and we need groceries.
GCA says
Kid 1 still has vivid memories of the water park at the zoo when we visited NOLA last year! We could have spent the entire day there. Thanks for that recommendation :)
avocado says
We thought we would be bringing home our new dog this weekend, but the placement fell through. I suspect that the foster family decided to keep the dog themselves (they even told us that they were fostering as a way to jump the adoption queue). So instead of doggie snuggles and walks, we will be taking care of errands and chores. Maybe I will repaint that one section of wall I’ve been meaning to get to for the past three months.
AwayEmily says
I am traveling to DC for the weekend with my 3.5yo (leaving her toddler brother and dad at home). I’m so excited to go on a trip just with my big kid (we’ll be seeing friends). She is most looking forward to riding the Metro.
Cb says
My son’s takeaway from our trip was that there were ‘bootiful trains!’
rosie says
Not sure you familiar you are with DC (although actually this didn’t occur to me & I live here), but if you metro to zoo, get off at Cleveland Park instead of Woodley. Walk is the same or shorter but it’s downhill to the zoo from CP and uphill from Woodley. Enjoy!
anon says
I also super recommend going to Duke’s Counter across the street from the zoo. Delicious food and they have Etch-a-Sketches for the kids.
Ifiknew says
Our preschool wants us to apply sunscreen daily because the kids will go outside daily and we live in the south where it’s super hot. What is the most efficient way to apply sunscreen on my 2 year old every am? This sounds like a huge pain right now because we don’t do playground time when it’s hot so only apply sunscreen for pool etc.
Em says
I apply it right after I get him dressed. My son is 3 and potty trained so we do our morning routine in the bathroom and I keep it in a drawer there. He knows it is just one more step in the process – go potty, brush teeth, get dressed, put on sunscreen, go downstairs to eat breakfast.
Anonymous says
I often do it when mine is strapped into the car seat. I just grab a handful and slather it on. Some people use spray but I don’t love it (one of my friends just sprays it on her kids face which obvi makes the child cry because it hurts which I find shocking).
Anonymous says
I actually find it much easier before we put clothes on. That way I make sure I go up high enough on legs/arms and don’t have to worry about getting white goo all over kiddo’s clothes. It’s basically just like putting lotion on after a bath or something.
rosie says
+1. I do it before clothes and let toddler “help.” She can rub it onto her arms or I might let her put some on my face while I do her face. Also, keep tubes of sunscreen everywhere.
AwayEmily says
Yup. we have them stashed in the bathroom, right by the door, outside on the porch, in the diaper bag. Basically at the beginning of the summer I order a whole bunch from target so that I can always have some on hand.
Ashley says
+1 to this
Anon says
I apply sunscreen whenever my daughter will be going outside at daycare (which means March-November since I live in the Midwest). Sun intensity and temperature aren’t very correlated – if you live in the south the sun may be strong enough for sunscreen year-round.
As far as how to do it, it’s just a matter of routine and consistency. A 2 year old will likely fight you hard for a few days or weeks but once they realize it’s part of their routine it will get a lot easier. My 17 month old now rubs the sunscreen into her arms herself, because she’s seen us do it so many times. Telling them it’s necessary for going outside helps, most kids love going outside and even from a young age they can understand “We have to do X before we can do Y.”
anon says
We do it as the last step before getting in the stroller for the walk to preschool. Kids love the routine and will remind me if I’ve forgotten to do it. What really helped was switching to spray sunscreen. I know it generally isn’t as safe, but search safe spray sunscreen for kids and you’ll find several options, including Babyganics spray lotion.
AwayEmily says
We split the difference and do spray for arms/legs and regular sunscreen for face. Definitely makes things easier.
SG says
I have a 2yo too. We use a mineral suncreen stick everywhere – not just her face. I also do it when she’s strapped into her carseat, she knows her job is to “hod the lid”
anon says
Spray for the body and stick for the face. We’ve done this for ages, so it’s part of our routine – the shoes and sunscreen timer goes off ten minutes before we have to leave. I can’t remember at what age they started doing it by themselves (older helping younger), but the spray made it a lot easier for us. Also, I totally bought Frozen spray sunscreen as incentive…
CCLA says
Once you and kiddo get used to it it won’t be so bad at that age. I put DD (almost 3) in leggings almost every day so usually we are just doing face/neck/arms. She doesn’t fight it now and likes to help apply it, but it took a month or so of doing it every day for her to be cool with it as part of the morning routine. We do it after breakfast because I still have to wipe her face off after she eats. Also she wears a sunday afternoons hat every day outside at school, which helps a ton. Lastly, definitely try a few sunscreens and stock up on something that you find not a total PITA to apply. We like the physical block creams and after some trial settled on blue lizard.
Anonymous says
I made it a game. 3/3 of my kids love sunscreen and now the older 2 do it themselves with me coming into check/do faces and backs.
Sometimes I “painted” them and sometimes I put on lotion and they wanted some so they got sunscreen.
MNF says
Vacation packing update – first thanks for tips (especially dish towels – def did not think of those!). My DH came home last night and said he doesn’t think we need the highchair. He wanted me to report back that he independently came to the r-e-t-t-e recommended conclusion but also that it would be a harder decision for y’all if you knew how adorable DD is in her highchair lol (clearly first time, over obsessed with our child, parents)
Anon says
p.s. for later travel, I would highly recommend getting some sort of clip on high chair. We swore by this one (it’s actually what we used in real life at our normal table as well): https://www.amazon.com/Inglesina-Fast-Table-Chair-Award-Winning/dp/B00IOGIM9S/ref=asc_df_B00IOGIM9S/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312111868490&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16655420391889879101&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1014221&hvtargid=pla-381700246542&psc=1
It folds up & goes into an attached bag very compactly. We always kept one in our car as we even brought it into restaurants – when they were super small they were just happier in it than the restaurant high chair. Plus, when we did travel via car then we would just automatically have it (and it fits in a suitcase if flying). (I only bring this up b/c when you talk about bringing the high chair I’m imagining you are talking about a full set up high chair, but maybe you mean a travel one already in which case, never mind!).
Anon says
Yes, I was going to recommend this too! It’s better than a restaurant high chair for really small babies, and is an absolute essential if you want to eat meals in your hotel/apartment rental. Once your baby is eating solids, it’s very messy to eat at home without a high chair. We didn’t buy it until we went to Paris with our 14 month old (fun fact: restaurants in Europe don’t have high chairs!) but I wish we’d had it sooner. We’ve used it a lot in the last year. It has a 37 pound weight limit so you can probably use it for 2-3 years.
Anon says
I have had the opposite experience. In the 6-15 month range if we traveled somewhere we thought we might need a high chair and were going by car, we took the booster that came with our Graco Blossom high chair. And a Summer infant portable dining mat (ahhmazing), which I highly recommend aside from the high chair for the year or so very messy eating and will toss a plate if you let me phase. But unless we’re staying with family (who already have high chairs because favorite (and only) grandkid), we typically eat out in restaurants that have high chairs, or we can sit her in a regular chair or on our laps. After 15 months, my super active child started actively resisting high chairs, so while we have the chicco clip on one, I think the only time it has been used is when we have visiting younger kids at our house! One of our neighbors also has a folding camp chair that’s a highchair, and if I had a younger kiddo and we were more outdoorsy, that would be awesome.
shortperson says
we bought this for our first and have hardly used it with two babies. it does not work on tables that have anything other than flat wood under them, and on the rare occasions we have remembered to bring it with us usually the table ended up not being the right kind.
we also packed it for a trip to paris and berlin. berlin restaurants all had high chairs, and in paris it would have been useful but we were running around all day and going straight to dinner and did not want to drag it with us. so it ended up being a large waste of space in our luggage.
i think if you can get a deal it’s ok. usually i am happy to spend money to get the fancier/better version of something but not this. a fisher price booster seat would serve the function for every time we’ve actually used it.
Anon says
It doesn’t work on glass top tables, but we’ve used this in dozens if not hundreds of restaurants without issue and I’m not sure what you mean by “anything other than flat wood underneath them.” I agree it can be a pain to lug around if you’re seeing a city on foot (that was a problem for us in Paris too), but if you’re driving to your destination or renting a car, it’s not that big a deal to leave it in the car. We now use it as our primary high chair, even at restaurants in the US. It gets the baby way closer to the table and gives them way less space to move around than traditional high chairs do, which is good for both tiny infants who can’t support their bodies that well and active toddlers who want to climb out and explore.
shortperson says
a lot of tables, including the tables of most of our friends and the airbnbs we have brought it to, have a little piece of vertical wood underneath, an inch or two away from the end of the table. it does not work with those.
AwayEmily says
awwww
Meghan says
My MIL just bought us a Bombol pop-up booster seat because we have a lot of travel coming up with our 16-month soon. (?) It’s a bit pricey, but it folds down completely flat, which makes it very portable. The seat is like an origami pop up with a 5-point harness that you can strap onto any standard chair. We used it when our toddler nieces visited, and they loved it. I think it also lasts longer for when kids are a bit older/heavier than the clip-ons. https://www.bombol.com/products/pop-up-booster
IHeartBacon says
This is adorable.
anon says
How did you teach your kids about personal safety and boundaries? DD is starting kindergarten soon and I want to give her a refresher. We have always talked about good/bad touch, privacy, and strangers. We also read the Berenstain Bear book about strangers. Do you have any favorite books or resources on this topic?
Buddy Holly says
The book “Super Duper Safety School” is pretty good. It talks about tricky strangers.
daycare turnover followup says
Soooo I chatted with the teacher yesterday and she said the administration isn’t supporting the teachers the way they should, and another teacher I know (one of our kid’s original teachers who got promoted and left his classroom) is also leaving because of it.
What exactly that means, I don’t really know and I’m not inclined to leave the daycare over it (the location cannot be beat) but I do want to talk to the director. To say what though? Unsure. Maybe without bringing the teacher into it, I can say that the lack of stability is concerning me and I hope they are talking to the people who are leaving to understand why and what needs to be improved? Not sure if it’ll seem totally out of my lane, but it is concerning!
Emily S. says
A friend of mine is going through something similar, and she teamed up with other parents so the concerns and complaints would have more weight for the director. They had a meeting and decided on creating a parent steering committee, with identifiable areas of need, like, compensation, adequate scheduling/leave time available, etc. The director was receptive, perhaps because it was framed as a business problem (staff turnover) and it was clear that it wasn’t just one parent’s gripe. Could you reach out to other families and voice your concerns as a group?
Quail says
Parents did this at my kid’s daycare/preschool right around the time we started and it was very effective. The center had only been open a year and almost all the teachers left after that first year due to lack of support, vacation time, etc. The administration really took the comments to heart and made major improvements in supporting the teachers, and it also increased awareness of the problem for parents like me who were newer, which allowed us to better support the teachers.
Legally Brunette says
We did this as well and ultimately it was not at all effective because the director didn’t want to change. A ton of teachers left, and we also left after a year. In retrospect, I wish we had left earlier, but it is next to impossible to find infant daycare slots in DC.
Anonymous says
I think you can absolutely say the truth “Director, in the past x months there have been y different teachers in my child’s room. I’m concerned about the high turnover and lack of stability and would like to know what steps the center is taking to fix this problem.” Dress it up with niceties however you want but it’s a reasonable question.
CPA Lady says
So, I’m on the board of my kid’s not for profit daycare. I’m sure a for-profit daycare has a different system, but basically from what I’ve seen behind the scenes, the problem is that daycare teachers make like $12 per hour with no benefits. The only way to pay them more is to raise tuition by a lot. Our director is hesitant to do this. Despite this low pay, there is fairly low turnover at my kid’s daycare because of the following:
– the staffing ratios are kept higher than they need to be, so a teacher who needs to step out to use the bathroom or to take a moment to collect themselves if they are getting frustrated is able to do so. Apparently staffing above the minimum is rare. This might be what the teacher is talking about in lack of administrative support.
– we have a very active parents council that on an ongoing basis makes a concerted effort to show appreciation to the teachers. We have a snack cart that we keep stocked for them in their break room on a weekly basis, we bring them coffee and donuts on state assessment day, we make sure they can attend any events and school fundraisers for free, each class has a wish list and we regularly buy them things for their classrooms, we keep a bulletin board of teacher compliments, we give them gift cards at Christmas, each class has a room parent to help keep other parents informed, and we go all out on teacher appreciation week.
Do you know if your daycare has a parents council? Are you willing to be on it or start one?
Anonymous says
I agree with others that you can and should talk to the Director. Ultimately, though, there may be cost implications to making the changes needed to help retention, and that may mean a tuition increase.
Is there a Board for your preschool that you could join? My husband was on the advisory board for our nonprofit daycare/preschool and it was good insight into the budget, policies, etc, and was the real forum where changes could be made. In our case, the board did need to approve a tuition increase to make sure teachers’ pay increased proportionate to minimum wage increases in our state and head off potential turnover issues.
Mini Backpack says
Any recs for a bag for the post-diaper bag stage? My 2.5 year old is potty trained so the full diaper bag is too much these days. This would be for the zoo, etc., so I’d prefer a backpack style so I can comfortably wear it all day. All I need to carry is extra pants and undies, sunscreen, water bottle, some snacks, and my wallet and sunglasses. A full size backpack has way too much space, which encourages my husband to put in everything we own. :)
I’m having flashbacks to the mini backpack from Limited Too I carried in middle school (SO COOL), but I don’t remember it being especially comfortable.
Cb says
Maybe one of those mini fjallravens?
Clementine says
We have a regular sized Fjallraven Kanken and it’s still a great size for this. We used ours as a diaper bag with a diaper clutch inside and now use it as just an out and about backpack. Super practical and durable.
(Also, recommendation for a diaper bag: a Kanken with a diaper clutch! It’s honestly the perfect size, even for 2 kids.)
Cb says
Yep, agreed. I used it on mat leave and it was perfect with the diaper clutch.
Emily S. says
The main site just did a round-up of stylish backpacks for work: https://corporette.com/stylish-backpacks-for-work/
Maybe one of these?
Anonymous says
We usually split this stuff between my every day purse (cheapie tote style) and kiddo’s small PB Kids backpack. We’re pretty minimalist and leave everything we can in the car whenever we go anywhere.
I had been planning to order an Everlane backpack for stuff like this now that we rarely ever use the stroller (which we used to throw kiddo’s backpack underneath). But the one I wanted isn’t on their website right now. Boo. I’ll have to check back.
rosie says
FWIW I have the Everlane backpack I think you’re talking about and I find it a little hard to get waterbottles in and out of the side pockets. They’re fine for leaving a small umbrella in or taking my phone in and out, but if you intend to use for larger waterbottles, I don’t find them as easy as the more elastic side pockets on an athletic backpack.
Anonymous says
Let you husband pack whatever he wants, also let your husband be exclusively responsible for packing and carrying the bag
Mini Backpack says
I do this as much as possible, but it usually means we leave home without sunscreen, which he doesn’t like to wear and therefore completely forgets that it’s essential for the rest of us.
Anonymous says
Get an extra sunscreen that can stay in the bag! My bag concept is that it should require minimal packing – everything should stay in it, and only food and water need to be added (this is somewhat aspirational more than my reality). I even have fantasies about leaving nonperishable food in the bag, but in reality it is often moldy apple slices I forgot were in there.
AwayEmily says
Baggu canvas backpack!
anon says
We just stick with a regular backpack (the Under Armour Hustle 2.0, according to my Amazon order history). It’s lightweight and not that large when not full. Besides the things you mention, we carry wipes, activities for restaurants, and swim clothes in the summer. It’s worked great for us since 2016 (again, according to my Amazon order history).
JTM says
I’m using an Everlane backpack for this – I got it on Poshmark and it was too small to transport my laptop & other work stuff, but its perfect to carry folding potty seat, extra pants & underwear, waterbottle, etc.
Easy and quick dinners says
Favorite easy and quick dinner recipes? I don’t enjoy cooking. My in-laws are coming this week, and I’d like to have a few dinners pre-made or prepped for them. Baby will be asleep by then.
Anonymous says
1- pasta with tomatoes, basil, corn, and shrimp
2- grilled chicken with a caprese salad
3- burgers and corn on the cob
Anon says
Tacos with upgraded (or not) toppings – sauteed peppers and onions, quick-pickled onions, pico, avocado (or guac), lime juice, a nicer cheese, etc. I might consider doing smitten kitchen’s cornmeal fried porkchops with the goat cheese smashed potatoes (all in same recipe – which coaches you on timing too so it’s all done together). Pretty quick, super tasty, and really all you need to do to prep is soak the porkchops in buttermilk. I also wouldn’t hesitate to serve my inlaws hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill (patties can be pre-made in advance), but YMMV.
Anonymous says
For upgraded toppings:
I stole this from a Plated recipe, but my new favorite taco topping is red onions or red cabbage slaw marinated for 10 min or so in 1/2 lime worth of juice, a tsp or so of brown sugar, and TBS of canola oil. Slice them up and put them in the bowl to marinate while you get the rest of the taco fixings out. It is delicious
Cb says
Some sort of stirfry or pad thai. Or smitten kitchen one pot pasta?
Sasha says
Mains:
1. Baked chicken: Set oven to 350. Spray Pam on a cookie sheet. Place thawed chicken tenders or chicken thighs or breasts cut in quarters on a cookie sheet (salt n pepper if u fancy). Bake for 12-15 minutes. Serve with ketchup, BBQ, ranch, whatever other dips people might like.
2. Crock pot pork loin — take a 2 lb pork loin, dump a pack of onion soup mix on top, add 3/4 cup water, cook on low for 4 hours.
3. Forgot to defrost chicken breasts? Put frozen chicken breasts in Crock Pot for 8 hours on low with a can of salsa on top. Spicy tomato chicken. Shred with forks and offer plain, with tortillas, or on top of bagged rice or riced cauliflower.
Sides:
1. Steam in bag microwave veggies. Top with salt, pepper, and butter or olive oil as appropriate.
2. Steam in bag rice or pasta if your family will want a carb on the side. Or make a full box of pasta and store the leftovers in the fridge for following days.
3. Bagged salad and dump in 1/2 a bag (1 cup) of shredded cheese and croutons (or cheese crisps if you’re low carb). Offer an assortment of dressings.
Anonymous says
Or just get takeout
Sasha says
How is this helpful?
Anon says
It’s not. Thank you for your suggestions.
Anonymous says
Omg because I too hate cooking and get takeout all the time and think it’s a perfectly good option?
Anon says
I think it’s helpful. Takeout is the only way I survive my in-laws!
Anonymous says
Same. At least one night of any visit from my in-laws involves pizza.
Spirograph says
It sounds like you may feel pressured to have home-cooked meals, even if they are pre-made… but if you are not, there are tons of good heat-and-eat options out there. Lasagna is usually a very safe bet if you have an hour for it to bake, and basically the entire freezer section of Trader Joe’s has options that are delicious and much faster.
Favorites in my house include the vegetable fried rice, gyoza, battered halibut (serve with fresh lemon slices).
Otherwise, I agree with Sasha’s suggestion to have rice and pasta handy, and to cook some chicken or pork in the crock pot. I do this every few weeks, freeze extra in quart-sized bags and defrost one a week. It’s endlessly versatile, and we use it with pasta, in tacos or sandwiches, on salads, etc. Trim some green beans (or buy them that way), chop some broccoli, and you have quick vegetable sides. Green beans are amazing sauteed with minced garlic and a little salt ~5 min, and broccoli steams in ~10 including the time for the water to boil. Or get steamer vegetable bags.
anon says
If you have a crockpot, this has been a crowdpleaser with my extended family: https://www.pink-parsley.com/2013/10/crockpot-spanish-chicken-saffron-stew.html
You can leave out the saffron if you don’t have it. Check for salt levels–I usually add more at the end. I always make ahead and reheat in a skillet, then I serve it over rice or pasta.
Marinate chicken breasts for at least one day in storebought pesto, then grill.
Make this pasta, but instead of all the steps, just toss shredded rotisserie chicken, storebought pesto, spinach, and cooked pasta together. http://www.dinneralovestory.com/potuss-lucky-pasta/
SG says
My grocery store has started to have meal-kits in the produce section. They’re definitely less expensive than blue apron etc. Also like homemade pizza (pre-made dough, sauce, etc) everyone can pick toppings.
One of my favs is Iowa Girl Eats Summer Pasta Skillet.
Anonanonanon says
-Trader Joe’s microwavable pulled chicken (or pork) BBQ, TJ’s brioche buns, TJ’s sliced smoked gouda. Bam, bbq sandwiches! (I’m sure there’s some kind of pre-made slaw for those who like slaw). Mac and cheese is always an easy side too.
-Stouffer’s lasagna baked in the oven, garlic bread (from the freezer section, bake in the oven), bagged salad
-Pork tenderloin (I marinate in Trader Joe’s Soyaki sauce, or they have them pre-seasoned) baked in the oven. Serve with sister schubert rolls (from the freezer section) and whatever veggie side you like (steam in the bag veggies?)
-Trader Joe’s orange chicken from the frozen section (you bake the chicken and then toss with the sauce). I also love their microwavable bags of rice from the frozen section. Could serve with steam in the bag broccoli.
Anon says
I have the Friday sads. A co-worker and I do similar job functions for different areas. My area is objectively way more interesting, and she’s made it clear from the beginning that she wants to “steal” my area (her words). When I was out on medical leave (complicated pregnancy) and maternity leave last year, she was my cover and got to know everyone in my area. Since then, she’s continued leveraging those connections, working more and more directly with people in my area, pitching them ideas, and cutting me out of projects that we were officially assigned to be on jointly. Now it seems like the wheels are in motion for her to officially take over my area. I’m very good at my job, but haven’t been as productive since having a baby and even when I was at my most productive I was never as slick as her – she’s extremely confident and is able to make other people look totally stupid in meetings. I feel really dumb for letting her do this to me, but I don’t know how to stop it. Thanks for letting me vent.
Sasha says
How much do you actually care about being relegated to the less interesting area? If your focus in life is on your child now, it’s more than fine for your job to be just a job. Don’t let the idea that this “slick” operator somehow “stole” something from you be the reason you’re upset if the actual changing of your job function doesn’t matter that much to you.
OP says
It matters to me a lot. I have subject matter expertise in the area and it’s the reason I was drawn to the job. We’re also not switching areas, exactly, she’s just taking over mine. I suspect I will pick up some of the more menial parts of her job because she’ll have a lot more on her plate, but it’s not like I’m now entirely responsible for her area. I suspect I’m not going to have a lot to do and will be let go in the next round of layoffs, which are probably not far off if the predictions about the economy tanking are correct.
Anonymous says
Ok when are you starting to fight back then?
anonanony says
ohhh man. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing, it makes me feel a little less lonely in my situation. I am currently feeling like I am just terrible at my job and will fail at managing several large projects in the next year. I’m a new working mom as well and the adjustment is just rough. I try to: go home, get some sleep, take care of myself, and try again tomorrow? Or in this case on Monday? I am fortunate in that a few years ago I took a role that was probably objectively a reach for me and so I am used to feeling like things might not work out (not exactly your situation, I know). So I am used to wondering whether or not things will work out and not feeling like I have complete agency in the situation. I try to do the best I can and leave the rest; in my situation I truly wonder if that is going to be enough. Hugs.
Anon says
Wow! That is upsetting.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m sorry. That’s a sucky situation and unfortunately common in the business world. In my office, I see time and time again promotions going to those who are always available and always at the office (generally without kids or with SAH spouses). I don’t want that to be my life, but at the same time, it’s hard to see the opposite of what I personally value (balance) be constantly promoted and praised.
EB0220 says
I personally hate crap like this and fight back. Is it possible that the decision makers don’t know that you want to keep your area? Make it widely know. Remind people of the deep expertise and long experience you have in the area. Round up some supporters. If this person enjoys making people look stupid in meetings, she probably isn’t very popular. I think you have to decide to fight hard on this if it’s important to you to keep your area.
anonanony says
+1 those are all such good ideas.
fight fight fight says
+1
If she’s pushing to be in this area and you’re silent, it will look like you don’t care. Feel your sads (important first step), then start advocating for yourself. Go to whoever assigns this work on Monday and emphasize your expertise and passion for this area.
If she ultimately takes over your area, I would look for another job. I switched after I didn’t like what happened to my career trajectory after my first maternity leave and I am so much happier.
Anonymous says
Thanks for the comments on baby shampoo/ curls yesterday. I actually didn’t know we weren’t supposed to brush them or dry with a t-shirt (facepalm). My hair is fine and straight and my dad/ brother had curly hair, but didn’t do any special care and kept it short.
Anon says
Solidarity (I’m the mom to the annie look-a-like). I have slightly wavy hair, my husband’s hair is apparently super curly but he keeps it so short you can’t tell, and it’s definitely been a learning process. I found Hair Care 101 for Curly Haired Tots by alpha mom and How to Care for Your Daughter’s Curly Hair from babes in hairland as two articles that were helpful to me as I started this learning journey.
Redux says
What are your go-to activities when rain ruins your vacation? We have friends with kids visiting from across the country and had planned to spend our 3 days together doing outdoorsy things– a hike, the pool, an outdoor festival. But now the weather is predicted to be rainy all weekend. Arrrggghh. What would you do? Kids are between 2 y.o. and 14 y.o., which is what is making this harder for me.
Anon says
Indoor pool/waterpark if there’s one within driving distance. Aquarium. Science museum. Children’s museum. Public library. Mall.
I would let the 14 year old stay home when you do stuff that’s really aimed at the 5-and-under crowd, like a children’s museum.
Anonymous says
Movies (you could even pick two different ones for the different ages in the same time frame).
Anonymous says
Aside from the great suggestions already, maybe try the hike in the rain, assuming it isn’t unsafe due to lightning?
NYCer says
Same with swimming…I used to love to swim in the rain when I was a kid! Assuming you are in a city where it is still warm when it rains in the summer.
Anonymous says
All of the above, plus bowling (bonus points for a fun independent one, candle pin, craft beer on tap, etc). Outlet shopping was a surprisingly good way to spend one of our rainy vacation days. With really young kids, the local public library is usually a safe bet too (toy area, different books, sometimes cool events). I also check Macaroni kid for whatever area I’m in, often there are festivals or similar, sometimes indoors.
Anonymous says
Art museum, science museum, aquarium, brewery with live music, botanical garden with conservatory.
Anonymous says
Trampoline park. Ours has a ropes course and rock climbing for older kids, and a fancy playground for younger kids.
Introverted Extrovert says
Want to get thoughts from the hive on having different things “recharge” you vs. your partner.
DH works long hours (counsel at Big Law). We have a good divide of things at home generally, with a normal ebb and flow. DH is MUCH more of an extrovert than me. This has been true generally, but it’s been clearer to me since DS is born. Even with DH’s crazy work schedule, family stuff, etc. for his “self time” his ideal is to go to pub to catch up with buddies over beers 1x/week, or go to a pub with a book and chat with neighborhood folks. Again, this isn’t new – it’s been this way since we met in our 20s. I think if DH lived in a country where pub culture was more common, it would be a perfect match.
I should say his pub time (for lack of better term) is always done in a way we’re on the same page/passing the baton, and he never shirks responsibilities. For example, my Sunday morning workout time is now a given in our home, and he loves that him and DS get to go to breakfast and hang out solo for a few hours. I just feel a way about our different interests, and not sure why, since what recharges me is…working out, reading, and cooking. DH and I still manage to have good quality time just us 2, and as a family (for two working professionals). I’m guessing I’m team overthink on this one but would like to hear other thoughts.
Anon says
I don’t understand what the problem is if you’re happy with the balance of responsibilities at home. Let him do what recharges him and you do what recharges you.
Legally Brunette says
I think it’s very very common to see couples where one is an extrovert and the other is an introvert. I’m the extrovert and it’s very important to me to go out with friends on a regular basis. In my ideal world, I would go out twice during the work week and at least once during the weekend. Meanwhile, my husband would love nothing better than putting the kids to bed and watching a movie. As long as you are both on the same page and he’s not shirking his duties at home, I don’t see any problem. It sounds like you have a great set up!
OP says
Okay so you are totally my DH, and I’m yours. This was super helpful.
Legally Brunette says
I’m so glad. If I’m being honest, I think sometimes my husband would prefer that I go out less with friends (I don’t know if you feel this way). But over time, he has come to see that spending time with my friends is incredibly important and happiness boosting for me. I keep reminding him that he should also make social plans, but he has very little interest.
Spirograph says
Team overthink. My ways to recharge are similar to yours, and my husband relaxes/recharges with video games. I go through phases where it drives me crazy that he’s just sitting in the basement staring at his computer for hours in the evening and ignoring me, but… he handles his responsibilities, we do spend time together, and I’m totally OK with him taking the time to himself, it’s just the activity (and the fact that it’s visible to me) that’s annoying.
My solution is to read or go for a run while he’s on the computer. I’ve found that if I’m doing chores, or watching TV + folding laundry in the next room, I’m too aware of what he’s doing and it bothers me. But if I’m zoned out doing my own thing, everyone’s happy. You don’t need to share everything!
OP says
I think this is just it! It drives. me. nuts. that he’s not doing something more traditionally self-care focused (like…working out haha), even though I see that it gives him joy and happiness overall…and makes him a better partner! TY.
Anonymous says
I mean to me, your self care activities of cooking and working out are chores. And I don’t relax by doing more work.
IHeartBacon says
I don’t think his activities are meant to be “self-care.” I think he’s just doing activities that he enjoys. Nothing wrong with that.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We’re probably both on the more introverted side. I would prefer my me-time to involve books, exercise, maybe a pedicure or a massage. His preferred relaxing time is browsing online, video games/movie and exercise. We both enjoy date nights or just doing something else out of the house and away from the kids over the weekends. And we both do mostly everything together when we’re doing family stuff, and on the weekdays after the kids are in bed. So I guess we’re introverts who also just prefer to be with each other? That sounds a little sappy but it works for us. I like spending time with friends and other people too, I just don’t need it on a consistent basis.
Agree with everyone else that if it works for you both, then the introvert-extrovert match sounds fine.
rosie says
This sounds like a great balance. I think one thing that can be difficult with 1 introvert & 1 extrovert is being ok with having that alone time to do your own thing. Like if the extrovert wanted to do social things with the introvert, which would require more planning (babysitter to go out) and likely be very draining for the introvert. Don’t try to fix what isn’t broken!
Anonymous says
I agree that it sounds as if you and your husband have arrived at a great balance. It’s healthy for spouses to spend time pursuing separate interests, and it seems that you and your husband have figured out how to do this in an equitable way. Where extrovert-introvert couples can run into trouble is when only one partner (usually the extrovert) gets”me time,” or where the extrovert partner is clingy or demands that the introvert participate in all of his social activities.
govtattymom says
I’m in a very similar situation! My husband loves hanging out with his friends and does a happy hour nearly every Friday evening. I take a barre class every Saturday morning and usual stop for a Starbucks on the way home. They take roughly the same amount of time. I sometimes feel like he is getting the “better deal,” but it’s pretty fair. We’re just picking the things that suit our personalities and interests.
OP says
Thank you for this. Ah the post workout coffee is also something I love. Even better is when I can sit and read my book du jour with it. Heaven!
Anon says
My husband is way more extroverted than me. He has an official weekend block of time for playing sports with friends and almost never misses that unless we’re out of town. I don’t have a similar dedicated block of time off, but will frequently go get a pedicure or go to a movie on the other weekend day. He also does more than his share on a day-to-day basis, and lets me sleep in on weekends, so I’m happy to be the weekend ‘primary parent’ once I’m awake.
Anonymous says
I don’t see the problem, it sounds like you’re both living in a way that makes you happy.
Anonymous says
I don’t understand at all what the problem is here and I hate the “feel a way” phrasing. What way do you feel?
Anon says
I assumed that was a typo. Is ‘feel a way’ a phrase now?
Anonymous says
There are many grammatical oddities in the original post that make me suspicious.
OP says
Whoops sorry – it’s a phrase I have heard here and there in pop culture. I was also likely typing too fast. Not a troll. :)
Spirited Children says
Saw a bunch of comments today in my mom’s group about how their toddlers just play quietly in their rooms until they fall asleep. My toddler has never once played quietly in her room at bedtime. If we attempt to leave her in a room separated from us while she is still awake (for bedtime, shower, use the restroom, etc.) mass freak-out occurs. I call her my barnacle. Ped assured us while not average, this is not out of the range of normal and should get significantly better within a year or so. Sometimes I really forget how different (super intelligent, intense, energetic, etc.) my kiddo is from “normal.” All of her stubbornness, independence (aside from physical separation of course) and energy will serve her well when she is older, but it makes her really tough to parent at this age (and I imagine at later ages too). We spend a fair amount of time with many friends that have kids who are more middle of the road in temperament and constantly marvel at “wow, this is what normal parenting looks like.” — Signed one tired working mama.
Anon says
When they say toddlers do they mean 4 year olds? Because that seems really odd for any 1 or 2 year old, regardless of how smart and spirited they are. Fwiw, my 1.5 year old is better than average at independent play I think, but would freak out after about 10 minutes (and definitely never sleep) if we just left her crib with toys at bedtime. We have a simple but strict bedtime routine and I think routine is really good for kids.
Spirited Children says
My impression is that it was 2-2.5 year olds.
Anonymous says
My 2.5 year old has played independently in her crib at night before falling asleep (sometimes up to an hour) for the last 6 months at least. She takes a doll or two to bed with her, plays with them, sings to herself, etc. I’ve even caught her doing the hand motions for wheels on the bus on the monitor. It just seems to take her a while to wind down. I don’t think it’s that surprising that others are doing it too. I assume your friends don’t mean they have the lights on and are playing until they decide to get in bed on their own.
Anonymous says
I find it very hard to believe that these kids are actually playing quietly in their rooms until they just fall asleep. Play wakes kids up. Maybe they are lying quietly in bed with their lovies?
FWIW, an unusually intense personality is characteristic of highly/exceptionally gifted kids. If that’s what you’ve got on your hands, buckle your seatbelt.
Anon says
My daughter is 20 months and she is also a barnacle. I can count on one hand the number of times she’s let me leave her in her room for a few minutes of independent play without freaking out.
That being said, she will happily roll around in her crib with a few loveys for 15-30 minutes at bedtime after we do her nighttime routine, but a) she’s still contained in her crib and b) she LOVES her crib and would sleep in it until she’s college if we allowed it (she literally asks to get in it at nap and nighttime). Other than that, she never allows me to leave her alone.
Spirited Children says
Mine climbed out at 17 months, so we’ve been in a toddler bed since (with a gate on her room). Out of curiosity, how did your children develop loveys? Our ped suggested a lovey might help with separation anxiety, and we’ve offered blankets, stuffed animals, etc. She also has a baby doll, but no particular attachment to any of them (and I don’t remember the last time she even touched a stuffed animal – they’re mostly just decorating the toy bin and her bed). Any thoughts on how to encourage one?
anon says
i have 15 month old twins and we just started putting a stuffed animal in the crib at nap time and bedtime. i rotate which one i put in bc i would prefer not a serious attachment to one in case it gets lost/so it is easy to substitute. a part of me feels like by introducing a stuffed animal im creating a problem. i was hoping it would help twin A when she wakes up early in the morning but so far it doesn’t seem to be doing anything, though she does love having something to cuddle with in her crib, so i guess i’ll keep giving it to her even though i’d prefer not to
Anonymous says
You are not creating a problem! Our pediatrician strongly advocated for comfort objects! A special lovey can be such a great tool to help kids learn to sooth themselves and they can use it throughout their childhood. You can’t decide for them which one will be special nor can you decide that they won’t have one in particular that is special… they’ll decide for themselves. Our older kid loved them all equally until about 20 months when a couple because THE SPECIAL ONES and has stayed that way through early elementary. They give him so much comfort. We don’t allow them out of the house unless we are traveling, which I think has helped with not losing them. On a generational note- my grandma just threw away my dad’s special animal when she decided he was too old for it and he is STILL upset by it 65 years later.
Anon says
Hi – I’m the one with the 20 month old above. My daughter didn’t really develop an attachment to any one item, and she still hasn’t seemed to, but she likes them enough and will play with them in the mornings before I go in to get her and at night before she falls asleep (yet they don’t seem to keep her awake, fortunately!). She LOVES Elmo in general, so she has a stuffed Elmo in her crib (this is the one she’s the most into). I also picked a few other cuddly ones from her stuffed animal/cozy box to throw into the mix (a small soft thin square of blanket, a stuffed monkey, and a stuffed bunny), in the hopes she’d attach to something. The attachment really hasn’t kicked in but she does seem to notice if one is missing (particularly Elmo).
Sometimes at night or in the morning I’ll ask if she wants Elmo or Bunny or one of them to read or drink milk with us. Her answer varies but I think little “bonding” moments like that might help?
Anonymous says
We don’t really let kiddo play at bedtime. She has stuffed animals in her crib, but bedtime is bedtime. If she takes longer than 15-20 minutes to fall asleep, we go in to remind her that she needs to try to fall asleep to be healthy and have a good day tomorrow. And rock her to help her get more sleepy and wind down. So it’s honestly kind of strange to me that parents are okay with their kids ignoring bedtime to this extent.
SC says
DS is 4, but we’ve suggested/encouraged him to read if he’s not sleepy since he was about 3. (By read, I mean look at books and turn pages. Sometimes, he “reads” what he’s memorized or describes the story/pictures to his lovies.) A few days ago, I woke up to find that DS had gotten out of bed, gone into the playroom, and stayed up late playing–I could tell he had moved all his cars and trains around. I have no idea how late because DH and I were in our bedroom asleep. The next night, I just reminded DS that bedtime was for sleeping and that he could read a book if he wasn’t sleepy, and I suggested a particular book he likes. He said “OK, mommy,” and if he got up and played, I couldn’t tell.
Do we have the same child? says
Wow OP, this is my dd in every way you’ve described. She’s 27 months and is all of these things and has never done anything quietly in her bed or room since she was born. Naps and bedtime typically involve screaming unless she’s dead tired and she has such intense seperation anxiety. She’s ahead of all physical and mental milestones and yes I identify so so so strongly with looking at other parents and seeing how much easier parenting a different temperament could be.
Ashley says
No advice, just solidarity. Rarely if ever has my “spirited child” quietly played at any time, much less bedtime. I keep telling myself these traits will serve him well as an adult if we can teach him to harness them. But for now–phew!
Coach Laura says
We liked the book Raising your Spirited Child, and there is an updated edition. Both my kids were super intense and gifted so the book helped a lot.