CorporetteMoms

Updated: Sep 12, 2022 158 Comments · by

Makeup & Beauty Monday: Underlined Kajal Waterproof Long-Wear Eyeliner

Recent Recs

This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Parts of three peach-colored eyeliner pencils next to scribbled black lines from the liners

With fall around the corner, I’m looking to change my look, and eyeliner is an easy update.

I’ve used the same eyeliner for years, but this one from new-to-me brand Kulfi literally caught my eye. This waterproof eyeliner goes on smoothly, without any drag or smudging, for a sharp, budge-proof line. It also contains aloe vera extract and vitamin E for creaminess and moisture. It comes in five perfect-for-fall colors and is a “Clean at Sephora” product.

Kulfi’s Underlined Kajal Clean Waterproof Long-Wear Eyeliner is $20 at Sephora.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

Comments

  1. Anon says

    My son’s school wants us to bring in an “indoor recess bag” for rainy days. He’s in second grade. Any ideas that can fit in a gallon-size ziploc bag? It’s going to live at school for the year. I’d rather not send in things like the little beyblade/bakugan toys that he loves, and the intention is solo activity time so the card games we play at home aren’t a possibility.

    • Cb says

      This feels like a tough one. A rubix cube or some sort of puzzle? Or a yoyo?
      Recess is playing alone at their desk? Surely they could put on Cosmic kids or something?

    • Anonymous says

      Also it’s so annoying. When my kid is at school, school needs to be taking care of them. My mom never has to send in recess toys! On rainy day recess we could play quietly in the classroom, read, color, etc. or we’d play 7up or hang man or charades or sing songs.

      • Anonymous says

        Yes, wth? When I was a kid, the recess aides had some indoor recess boxes with board & card games, coloring sheets, etc that they’d bring to the classroom if we had indoor recess. Also everything mentioned above

      • anon says

        Agree completely. We got that request for the first time last year, and it was sort of a head-scratcher. Maybe it’s a newer thing, because I never had to create a recess bag for my now-7th grader when he was in elementary …

        Also, growing up, we had indoor recess in the gym. It was a hot mess of kids, but better than being stuck at your desk quietly playing.

      • Aunt Jamesina says

        Same. I also find the fact that the school is asking for individual activities to be inappropriate for recess, which is supposed to be unstructured time that kids can play with their friends. And what happens to the kid whose parents forget or don’t have the means to send in fun toys for recess?

        I would be the PITA parent calling for a clarification about what exactly kids are doing during indoor recess (and I used to teach, so I’m not unsympathetic to everything that’s on teacher’s plates).

        • Anonymous says

          I would wait and see what actually happens during about the third indoor recess. 90% chance that the individual play idea is abandoned and at least small groups play together.

      • GCA says

        Agreed. Also, kind of heartbreaking (not to mention…impractical??) that they’re supposed to play quietly and on their own during indoor recess. When and how do they learn to interact socially with each other if not at recess?

        • anon says

          Yeah this makes me sad. Recess, even indoor recess, is for kids to run around, burn off steam, and play with each other. Quietly putting a puzzle together is…not it

    • Anon says

      I’ve never heard of being asked to do this!
      But, what about Plus Plus pieces?

    • NYCer says

      Never heard of this and find it a bit odd, but…. Whatever works! A small set of legos? Puzzles? Some sort of activities book with mazes, word games, etc?

    • Clementine says

      A package of kinetic sand and some toy cars? A small Lego Set (they have the like 3 in one sets) that can be manipulated into multiple things?

    • octagon says

      Dice? Activity book with colored pencils? Origami papers plus a small origami how-to book?

    • Anonymous says

      This teacher will quickly learn that s/he needs to get them up and moving during indoor recess or they will be unmanageable for the rest of the day.

      • Anon says

        We had to send in a coloring book for my first grader last year and for indoor recess that’s what they did. Sat and colored. For the whole year.

        (His class did have some hyper kids, so hard to say if it would be better or worse to get them riled up for 20 min inside and then have to settle them back down. Which is another soapbox topic, the abysmally short recess time these days…)

        • SC says

          I have a kid with ADHD. For him, even indoor movement breaks are much better. A couple of years ago, we toured a school where they were having indoor recess due to weather. There were 2 classrooms per grade, and the whole grade had recess together. For indoor recess, they put on a dance video in Classroom A, and made Classroom B a quiet room where kids could play individually or in small groups, but relatively quietly. It seemed like a good compromise that would meet the needs of a lot of kids.

    • anon. says

      I echo this is annoying but buy something called a “magnetic ring game.” We have one in our emergency restaurant bag and it’s fun.

    • Anonymous says

      We had to do this for COVID. Play doh, rubix cube, legos, art set, puzzle book (sodoku, etc), book?

      Sad that they can’t play with other kids inside yet though! We are back to that despite being in a COVID conservative area.

    • OP says

      OP here – thanks everyone for these ideas. I settled on the following: plus plus tiles (so cute! thanks to the ‘rette who recommended), wikki stix (little wax-coated moldable wires), and a scratch-off paper set with wooden styluses and stencils. Amazon FTW.

      Agree with all the comments about how this is a weird request. The school uses the gym as the lunch room due to covid spacing (only three to a big table!), so the gym isn’t usable for play during indoor recess. I agree this is unfortunate because these kiddos NEED to blow off some steam through movement.

      I think the idea is they will have lunch moms in the room with some rainy day activities, but they want some special stuff for kids to look forward to during this time. I went to this school when I was in elementary/middle and remember when indoor recess was announced, we would race to the chalkboard to write our names in a list for a game of solitaire on the classroom computer :)

  3. Bunny says

    One of my kids is desperate for a pet bunny. I thought it would wear off but it’s been months and he is still regularly talking about his desire for a bunny. We don’t have any pets and I have no real desire to get a bunny, but he is adorable with them when we visit them at the pet store so curiosity forces me to ask, do any of you have pet bunnies and if so, will you share your experience?

      • Anonymous says

        lol, this is a plot point in the first Rabbit and Bear book. Only the first kind of poop, never the second kind!

      • Anonymous says

        They’re just not as highly evolved as cows, so they can’t chew their cud.

    • Anonymous says

      Don’t recommend. My daughter was obsessed at one stage so i researched. They need a fair bit of space and are not much less work than a cat or dog. maybe fish instead?

    • Spirograph says

      I don’t have one now, but I did when I was a kid. We kept him in a big hutch outside and only had him for one spring/summer and gave it to someone who could keep it indoors once midwest winter was starting to set in. We had various pets when I was a kid — dog, cat, gerbils, rat, parakeet. The rabbit was not the best of them. We couldn’t play with him outside much because he’d hop away (I think we got a leash for him at some point, but he didn’t like it and would just sit there if the leash was on) and we’d have to chase him around in the bushes. And my mom would sometimes let us play with him inside, but we had to put a big sheet down first to avoid excrement on the carpet so it was always a production. To me, a rabbit is more of a novelty than a good long-term pet. They’re easy enough to take care of, though — you need to clean/change the bedding regularly or it stinks, but otherwise they eat dry pellet food supplemented with all your vegetable scraps from the kitchen and refilling the water bottle is nbd.

    • Cb says

      I did as a kid and they were a great pet, I got my first as a baby and spent loads of time holding and socialising the rabbit, and Flopsey (very creative) would just chill on my lap. Later rabbits were adopted as full grown and weren’t as friendly.
      But if you don’t want a pet, don’t get a pet. They live forever, she says, eyeing the 13 year old cat resentfully.

    • Pogo says

      I had them growing up. They don’t live very long and can be expensive (both of mine got sick and ran up high vet bills and then died anyway). I think a cat is easier honestly – bunnies need to have a pen w/ bedding, whereas a cat just needs a litterbox and they do their own thing. Bunnies also don’t really like to be held/played with, so they’re kinda just to look at? When I would pick mine up, it would shake because it was scared and it would pee on me. Probably traumatizing the poor thing.

    • Anonymous says

      My sister had one and it had such a strong odor, despite my mom being an extremely clean person and keeping the enclosure very clean. The bunny also did not seem very happy being kept in an enclosure. IMO, a cat is easier to maintain and a happier companion animal overall.

      • anon says

        Agree on the odor front. Rabbits make your house smell so bad, no matter how clean you are. I would not get one for that reason alone.

    • Anon says

      We had neighbors who had them. It seemed like about the same amount of work as our low maintenance dog, and definitely more work than a cat (we had a fenced yard – obviously if you live in an apartment and have to take the dog on a walk every time it needs to pee a dog is way more work). And yes, dogs and cats are much happier being cuddled by humans. Bunnies hate it.

    • Anonymous says

      I would only get a rabbit if it could be an outdoor pet. Could a pet like a hamster or Guinea pig fill the void? I don’t like either but I’d get one of those before a rabbit.

      • Mary Moo Cow says

        We have 2 guinea pigs that were Santa presents to my oldest, and my youngest is asking for a rabbit, purely to set herself apart from big sister. I am steering her toward 2 more guinea pigs. Our neighbors have a bunny for an older child and …meh. Guinea pigs, though, are pretty easy to take care of, sociable, and have a decent life span of about 7 years.

    • Anon says

      We’ve taken care of our neighbor’s bunny when they travel. I don’t recommend. My experience is similar to the above – as much work as a small dog, not as fun to play with. The only upside I see is that if you are out of the house a fair amount, you don’t have the same obligation to get home to let it out. But in that case, I’d still pick a cat.

    • An.On. says

      We had a bunny that we got when it was older and it had clearly been traumatized, so I assume you wouldn’t have to deal with most of the issues we had, but I do remember that it was a massive PIA to cut its nails – it cut big gouges in my dad. Gerbils, hamsters, and guinea pigs were much easier pets for us, with similar fluff factor.

    • Aunt Jamesina says

      I had one (well, my family did) growing up. They’re a lot more work than cats, although perhaps not as much as dogs. They’re quite social animals any try to chew everything. You can housetrain them.

    • Anonymous says

      I have had two rabbits. The one that thought it was a dog was lots of fun. It was litterbox trained and could hop around the house with supervision and walk on a leash outdoors. It liked to snuggle and play with people and never bit anyone. It lived in a hutch outside, so no odor problems. The second knew it was a rabbit and did not let anyone forget that. It was litterbox trained but did not like to socialize with people. Worst pet ever in terms of effort/benefit ratio.

      Short answer–just get a cat or a dog.

    • Anonymous says

      If you do get a rabbit, get it spayed or neutered. It is supposed to improve their behavior.

      • Anonymous says

        +1, plus most female rabbits will get uterine cancer by age 3-4 if not spayed.

    • Anonymous says

      I have a rabbit. He’s an old man now (9), but he’s great. Loves watching TV with us or sidling up when we’re working on the couch in the evenings. I would HIGHLY encourage you to reach out to your local House Rabbit Society for more information about rabbits as pets. Don’t get one from a pet store, adopt from a shelter that has already done some work to get to know a rabbit’s personality. Rabbits are a lot of work – just as much as a dog or cat. They’re not meant to be cooped up all day. They tend to want to be active in the morning and evening – they sleep a lot during the day. They can be litter box trained, and it’s usually pretty easy. They can’t use cat litter since it can clump up in their digestive tract if they eat any of it, so you’ll need something like paper-based litter or compressed wood pellets. They are often chewers, so you need to have toys that are safe for them to chew on (apple sticks, willow balls, some kinds of wood are ok for them) and be prepared for them to taste your couch. They need a continuous supply of hay, most need high quality pellets once or twice per day (not the junk with colored bits you see in a lot of pet stores), and they need leafy greens. Carrot, banana, berries, etc. can be given as small treats. You’ll also need to find a vet who’s trained to care for exotics. They should not be kept outside, especially now with rabbit hemorrhagic disease circulating in wild rabbits (there’s a vaccine available and an exotics vet should be able to provide it). I’ve never found my rabbits to be any smellier than other pets.

      You didn’t say how old your kid is – rabbits are not always the best pets for children. They’re prey animals, so it’s rare that they like to be picked up, and it’s very important that they’re handled properly – it’s pretty easy for them to be seriously injured if they’re not carried properly or if they’re dropped.

    • Anon says

      Could you sway the kid towards a Guinea pig instead? I had both a bunny and a guinea pig growing up (and a gaggle of hamsters and mice, in succession). The guinea pig was the best at being a pet. It was sociable, talkative, and enjoyed human contact. She would sit on our laps (admittedly, when she got really cozy she would pee on us) and would talk loudly when we opened the fridge door. The bunny, on the other hand, was a bit of a sociopath. And not fun at all.

  4. Anonymous says

    A take on the pet theme–WWYD?
    We have had a cat since 2016 (pre-kids), adopted from a local animal shelter. I have always slightly regretted the cat, but I am in the camp of once you get a pet they are yours forever. Kid 1 was born in 2017 and kid 2 was born this year, and now I am not exaggerating when I say I loathe the cat. I am her favorite human, and I cannot sit in my own living room without her wanting to sit in my lap and knead me. Two issues there: (1) the kneading thing annoys me to no end and destroys my clothes, but we are managing this part fine enough with frequent trips to the vet for nail trims; and (2) the bigger issue I am always in demand/being touched in my household, and I can hardly handle another thing touching me after I get the kids to bed at night, but the moment I actually sit down the cat comes running for pets (no matter whether DH has been sitting in the living room for an hour). This cat is ~7-9 years old and could have a lot of life left. She does not really endear herself to the family as she bites a lot when not petted on demand (and also bites when not petted “properly,” however she deems proper at the moment). I want the cat to have a good life (and she obviously has a much better life at my house than she would at a shelter). But I am overwhelmed with all the living things that need/want my attention, and the cat is last on that list. Any advice/commiseration?

    • Spirograph says

      In this situation, I think you’re justified in asking around to see if you can find her a more suitable home. She sounds like she might do better in a household without kids (I can imagine that young kids and a cat that bites if she’s petted “wrong” might be a bad combination!), and with someone who sits more and can give her the attention she wants. I wouldn’t return her to a shelter if you can possibly avoid it, but I would absolutely post on the neighborhood listserv and ask around at work to see if there’s someone who’d like to adopt her.

      If you’re not able to re-home her, though, just know that you may not be as “touched-out” in a year or so once your youngest is weaned and walking. I absolutely relate to that feeling, and want to reassure you there’s a light at the end of that tunnel.

      • Spirograph says

        As a practical thing re: the kneading, though … keep a folded throw blanket near all the spots you sit most often. That way you have some padding between the claws and your clothes/legs.

    • Anonymous says

      I think the first thing I’d do would be to try training the cat not to bite and not to sit in my lap. I don’t know how you deal with the biting, but I’d stand up and dump the cat on the floor every time she got in my lap. She will learn quickly.

      We did once have to rehome a pet that was dangerous and it was a horrible experience. Sometimes it’s necessary, but it will go better if you’ve explored all other possible options first.

    • anon says

      1. Put a blanket over your clothes/lap for the kneading issue.
      2. If possible, try to watch her behavior and watch for cues on what might cause her to bite. Check out Jackson Galaxy or YouTube videos related to cat behavior. There are certain common signs that indicate that a cat is getting overstimulated.
      3. I volunteer at an animal shelter and it always tough seeing animals returned. They are extremely confused and scared.
      4. Check out rehome dot adoptapet dot com if you want to rehome her. It would be better for her to go directly into another home rather than back to the shelter. You can also post on NextDoor and social media. If you contact a shelter they can also do a courtesy post on PetFinder to get her more exposure.

    • Cb says

      Confessional – I HATE our cat. She sounds like the perfect cat for a lonely elderly person, I’d invite all my elderly neighbours over and see who falls in love with her.

    • Anon says

      Commiseration. We had a dog we adored, and as soon as my child was born the dog was just an annoyance that I wanted gone. I am also in the camp that you don’t give away an animal unless you’re really not in a position to care for it, and we are giving the dog a fine life, but I will not be I devastated when she dies and have less than zero interest in replacing her.

    • OP says

      Thanks everyone! I do get up (or put the cat on the floor) immediately upon any biting, but she is stubborn/starved for attention so even after years of this “training,” she doesn’t get it. Also, although I sometimes recognize her cues for biting, the kids (understandably) don’t. The older one now mostly understands to leave her alone but I dread the long process of teaching the baby. I’ve got some thinking to do about re-homing but have no plans to take her to a shelter. I do really appreciate knowing I’m not alone in this!

    • Marshmallow says

      Does she need more attention during the day? Can other members of the family (husband, kids?) make it a daily “chore” to play with her? It seems counter intuitive but some cats can really benefit from dedicated high activity play time. It helps them be more calm the rest of the day and stop attention seeking.

      It seems like a lot of the work/burden of the cat is falling on you, which I empathize with. Totally understand being touched out. I have three cats and love them dearly, but one of them gets super knead-y, head-butt-y at the end of the day if we’ve been out of the house or haven’t played with him. I will sometimes close him out of the room that I’m in because I just can’t deal. And I love him to bits! Just, give me thirty minutes alone please.

    • Anonymous says

      I would get over it. Rehoming a cat cause you’re annoyed be live in wildly cruel.

      Talk to
      Your doctor. Get a therapist. Stop situation all of your annoyance in one cat.

      • Anonymous says

        Ignore this comment. You don’t owe it to an animal to make your life miserable 24/7. If you can find a more compatible home for the cat, rehoming may be the kindest thing to do for your family and for the cat.

  5. clueless in the snow says

    Help? We are Californians newly transplanted to New England with a 3yo. I am trying to outfit him for fall and winter. I have the obvious things — midweight waterproof jacket for fall, heavy winter coat rated for below zero, snowboots, hats, mittens. But I am stuck on pants. Do kids put on snowpants for every trip out into the snow? Are snowbibs actually useful? Should I be getting him heavy warm sweatpants for daily wear, or would that just be too hot inside? For context, his daycare prides itself on taking the kids outside all winter unless it is actively storming, so I expect he will get a fair amount of snow playtime. I assume I send him to school in his snowboots (we have a walk of a couple hundred feet to get from our front door to our garage) and maybe store a pair of sneakers there for him to change into when he’s inside?

    • Anon says

      Ask the daycare, they can tell you what is easiest for them to manage and has worked well for other kids.

    • AwayEmily says

      We live in an extremely snowy area. At that age, Target snowpants should be fine for school (and honestly, we never bother with a super intense winter coat either — kids run so hot that a Patagonia down sweater is usually sufficient…if it’s extra wet snow we will add a shell on top). We also don’t put our kids in boots for the trip to school; we just make sure the walk is shoveled and they wear their sneakers to the car. Boots live at school.

      Personally I prefer getting cheaper stuff and/or used, and then having one of each at school and at home. Otherwise we invariably forget something.

    • Bostonian here! says

      Life-long Bostonian here with a 4 year old. Snow pants that are bib-style are your friend with a little one. Target’s brand are completely acceptable. I bet you’ll find a ton go up for sale on the local FB community yard sale pages soon.

      DD wears fleece lined leggings and jeans out and about – to school, on weekend errands, but we do snowpants only when the activity involves directly playing in snow and ice – skiing, skating, general sledding and playing in the snow. I think your son will be fine in school with sweat pants or just jeans, and then the snow pants/bibs go over the clothes. Sometimes we even just do normal-weight leggings to school, which can involve 5 minutes waiting outside for them to let us in in the morning, but DD never complains about cold legs in those instances. It’s always hands, face, nose and feet first.

      Re: snowboots, we send DD in regular shoes except for snowy and slushy days, which is when snowboots show up. We put a change of shoes in her backpack those days though we’ve seen kiddo’s classmates stay in snowboots all day and not change, too. I find she rarely complains about cold legs.

    • Clementine says

      Okay, so. Normally if you’re going out with kid you’re going to want to just put them in something like a fleece for the car and snow boots.

      When the kids go out to play in the snow and/or cold, you put them in snow pants (waterproof is critical here), boots, hat, mittens, the whole getup.

      I would suggest making sure you have a Fleece, at least 2 pair of waterproof, gauntlet style mittens which open up with velcro to shove their hands in (I have LL Bean and Northface, both are great), and at least 2 hats. Also make sure kiddo can put on his own snow boots (I like Bogs for this) as it’s a huge PITA if they can’t.

    • Pogo says

      We sent a snowpants/jacket, boots, mittens to daycare and it all lived there for the winter. I had a separate set for at home. We are lucky that we get hand me downs from cousins, but I would a local buy-nothing would be great for this too.

    • So Anon says

      Welcome to New England! A few thoughts: Get multiple pair of mittens – some that are waterproof for snow and a few light pair for just walking around outside. There are discount retail chains local to most states where you can buy the light gloves for a couple of bucks per pair. Buy some for adults and kids. Yes to snow bibs. At that age, we had two pair – one that lived at preschool and one that lived at home, and rotate on a weekly basis so you can make sure they are drying out at some point. Kids get very good at putting on and taking off their snow gear. We put on boots to go from home to car, car to preschool, or to ride the bus when they get older. They take their sneakers in their backpacks. For us, there are snowdrifts and melting snow that would get sneakers wet. At my kids’ preschool, they took in a pair of slippers to wear inside in the winter. It was adorable to see a class of 3 year olds padding around their room in slippers. This brings me to a point about backpacks – you will either need a bigger kid backpack or a secondary bag to transport some of the snow gear.

      • anon says

        We found that the big Trader Joe’s reusable shopping bags make good winter gear bags for the preschool set. :)

    • anon says

      They usually dress kids in their snow pants if there’s any snow on the ground, otherwise they end up soaking wet and cold. YMMV on the super-heavy sweatpants. Those are nice for dry days, but those layered under snow pants end up getting really hot.

      I like the bibs, as opposed to pants, because they stay put. Agree with the other commenters that it’s very helpful to have a backup pair.

    • Anon says

      Minnesotan here. During the daycare years, we got two sets of bibs per year – one live at school, one at home. We only get one pair of boots that lived at school and we took home weekends. We drove to school, so kids wore sneakers and normal clothes + coat to/from, but had boots at school so they could play outside.

      During elem. years, kiddo usually had to wear coat / bibs / boots to school sine he has to wait outside for the bus (school isn’t cancelled unless it’s 35 below).

      Quality snow stuff can get pricy so when we had to double up on sets, one set is often second-hand, from Goodwill or similar (usually the home stuff, days are short during the winter so the home stuff doesn’t get a ton of use).

    • Anonymous says

      I’m in the Boston area. My kids wore snow pants outside well into March, from daycare through elem school. They are waterproof as well as insulating so teachers like them for the muddy drippy season.

      My older elem kids play outside all winter. Hat, boots, gloves & ski pants and jacket. If it’s 20 or warmer, they go outside!

      • So Anon says

        Great point. Mud season (melting snow + mud) is when I tend to find that snow gear needs to be washed on a more regular basis.

    • Chl says

      In chicago. Reasonable people may disagree but I loved our Hanna andersson snowsuit at that age both for snow and warmth. It was a hand me down, both of my kids wore it and then 2 more after our family. You still need a separate winter coat for some occasions but it was so nice to have a one piece.

    • Anon says

      If it’s above freezing, my little kids tend to prefer rain pants. We get them at LL Bean, they are actually waterproof, and they are much more flexible/easier to move in than snow pants. They are great for mud, too, plus they take up barely any storage space and are easy to wash.

      When it’s very cold/there’s a ton of snow on the ground we’ll do snow pants. (We’ve lived in NY and CT, as reference for cold and snow levels.)

    • Anonymous says

      Sweatpants are terrible. They are too hot in overheated classrooms and under snow pants, and if they fall out of the snowpant cuffs they get soggy and never dry. I always sent my girls in leggings in winter. Maybe the boy equivalent is lightweight joggers.

    • Anon says

      Maybe I’m the outlier but I live in the Midwest and my kid has never worn snowpants or snow boots anywhere but daycare. She’s not super outdoorsy, and when she does want to go out in snowy weather she’s been fine in warm pants and regular sneakers. I highly recommend fleece lined leggings for winter (regardless of whether or not it’s snowy). Old Navy has cheap ones.

      • Anonymous says

        How old is your kid? Once we got past daycare, my kids went sledding, skiing, ice skating outside, always in snow pants. After school I’m the snow = snow pants. Snow day= snow pants while playing with neighbors.

    • anonM says

      I think everyone has covered the basics already, but I’m glad you ask this because it will really help you this winter! And yay for daycare taking kids out every day, that is GREAT. You might not really appreciate how awesome that is, but by the end of winter you will. Since it is your first winter, I’d try to adopt a family mantra now of “no bad weather only inappropriate clothing.” I’m in the midwest, and see a huge difference in my own happiness sticking to this approach and getting the kids outside each weekend day, too. I’d also make sure you have good rain gear for the kdis – I like the one-piece rainsuits, but you can do rain pants as well. Finally, make sure YOU have some good gear! I promise it will make it so much better for you taking the kids out. I have rain pants that I love, much lighter and also break the wind a lot. Last year I picked up a cheap pair of relatively thin snow pants too. It just made me less resistant to going outside for long periods with the kids — I can handle the midwest cold most days with just thick sweats, but why stand there freezing and cranky when I can just be comfortable! It is a lot to buy all at once, I know, but getting yourself rain or snow pants and a good pair of ski mittens will make a winter walk fun instead of miserable.

  6. anon says

    Baby 2 is coming in a few months and our kids will be 24 months apart. I have 4-6 months of maternity leave and kiddo is in daycare full-time. What kind of help should I get for the first few months? I will have a postpartum doula 8am-4pm for the first four weeks and my mom will be there as well. After that my in laws will come to help with daycare pickup/drop off as well as some meals. We will amp up our cleaning service to weekly and possibly will add laundry pickup/drop off.

    My concern is nights. DH unfortunately has zero paternity leave (surgeon, most junior in his private practice) and due to the nature of his job, he will not be able to help out much in the evenings/overnight. Is a night nurse helpful? Should I find a nanny who can come from 5pm-midnight?

    • Anon says

      Bedtime with two is the toughest part of the day. Can the doula come in the afternoon/evening instead of the morning?

      • AwayEmily says

        Yeah, I would switch the doula to a time when the big kid is NOT in daycare. that is when you will need the help most.

      • Pogo says

        I agree with this 100% esp as a surgeon I’m guessing he misses bedtime a fair amount. Literally just someone to hold the baby while you put the older one to bed, in the early weeks that evening time babies tend to be fussiest an they don’t actually “go to bed” until like 10pm.

        Personally w/ my second I didn’t need much during the day, maybe companionship and someone to help with bottles/pumping stuff is helpful (though w/ my second i had oversupply and pretty much never pumped, which was awesome from a dishes perspective). Someone to help prep food for you – my DH was able to do this, he’d bring me breakfast in bed and prep my lunch, so maybe have the doula help w/ that? Laundry and emergency Target runs might help too – crap, I’m all out of clean burp clothes, these paci’s aren’t working, etc.

        At night I also didn’t need much help as I bf’d and roomshared. But I would never have been able to do 6pm-10pm solo. My toddler was in a STRONG mommy phase and needed me.

    • anon says

      Personally I don’t think you’d need any more help. You already have quite a lot

    • Anonymous says

      I mean you already have tons and tons of help! Way more than most of us have access to or can afford. But sure if it’s in your budget absolutely get a night nurse it will be very helpful.

    • NYCer says

      If you can afford it, I 100% recommend a night nurse (and just so no one jumps down my throat, I know that they are not actually nurses). It was the best money we spent with both of our kids. I would the spend money on night time help vs. a postpartum doula from 8am-4pm, especially if your mom will also be there. Otherwise, like someone else suggested, I think you will probably prefer to have help at toddler bedtime vs. the morning, so maybe you could shift her hours if you don’t want to dispense with her entirely?

      • Anon says

        Yeah, just had our fourth! And honestly could afford a lot of help and I’m not sure what the postpartum doula will be doing? But evening help would be great and a night nurse is awesome.

      • Anonymous says

        They are nurses in the old sense of the word–baby nurse or nursemaid.

    • Anonymous sydneysarradet@gmail, says

      It sounds like you have pretty good coverage, but everyone has different capacity for this stuff. If you can afford it, I’d go ahead and get a night nanny. We used an agency and had a great experience. I literally googled agencies, called 3 and then went with whoever could start first. They are expensive, but we had twins so I couldn’t really imagine surviving without one, although I know lots of people do it. She came from 10PM-6AM 5 days a week, so 40 hours. That’s really all we could afford. She fed them every 3 hours, then washed their bottles before she left for the day. She offered to do laundry but I had that covered. She also clued me in that they had reflux. Looking back, I don’t think I cools have done it without her, but I had no daytime help.

    • Marshmallow says

      Sounds like you already have a lot of help. I understand wanting the doula for at least part of the time your older one is in daycare, though, so you can have some time to yourself to nap or exercise. I might shift the doula’s hours to 12-8 so you’re getting help with the baby during family dinner and your toddler’s bedtime.

      Can your mom help with overnights, even a little? It was helpful with our first for my husband to pick up baby, change her diaper, re-swaddle, and hand her to me all ready to breastfeed. I would doze through that process, feed baby while husband went back to sleep, and put baby back in the bassinet. That way we each kind of only had to do half of each wakeup. Maybe your mom could do that for you a few nights a week, or give a bottle for one feeding.

      • Anon says

        yes, i agree with this. you will want help that time when your older one is at home post daycare until the older one goes to bed. it sounds like initially your mom will be there and the doula will be there? i would say the doula might be more helpful from 12-8. i had a night nurse and she was WONDERFUL. i would say that might actually be more helpful than a doula depending on how helpful you think your mom might be.

    • Lily says

      I kind of think this is a joke post… I have never heard of anyone having as much help as you’ve described! Your toddler will be in full time daycare, you’ll be on maternity leave, and have a doula all morning and afternoon… I guess my only suggestion would be to shift doula’s hours to like 10-6 so that you can go pick up your toddler from school and spend some time playing with them before dinner. Otherwise, seems like you’ll be able to get in a long nap during the day so I wouldn’t worry as much about nights.

      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        I think is a situation where Laura Vanderkam’s advice can actually be relevant!

      • OP says

        OP here. Thanks everyone for your responses. I agree that bedtime will be the worst of it and what I am dreading

        Not a joke post but can see how that comes across. To add more detail: I had a traumatic birth/difficult recovery/no help/height of pandemic/severe PPD/lots of doctors appointments with my first so we are doing everything we can to make this second postpartum period a little easier on me. I realize we have a lot of help lined up and privileged to have the means to afford it (even if it is a stretch on our budget).

        I should also explain that toddler is…spirited, so both sets of grandparents have already made clear they will not be helping with him except for daycare pickup drop off. At least they are honest? Both sets also work full time so they will physically be at home but of no help to me during the day. Postpartum doula is a Korean postpartum doula and so provides a slightly different type of service/there is a cultural aspect to it.

        • Anon says

          Lots of love to you!

          I echo – find somebody to help out a few bedtimes a week… even if it’s just ‘hold the baby while I put toddler to bed’. Also, baby wearing will help you. It will help a LOT.

          I personally like a woven wrap (like a storchenweige) for newborns but many people like other options… but being able to snuggle my newborn while I read to my toddler is clutch.

        • GCA says

          Lots of love and care, and hoping you have an easier go of it the second time around. Thankfully, that was my experience after a jaundiced then colicky first baby – second kid was a champion eater and napper as a newborn.

          TIL the Korean postpartum customs are probably not unlike the Chinese ones with which I’m familiar (those are for a whole month – you basically do nothing but nurse and snuggle a baby while healing from childbirth). I echo others that bedtime with two kids will probably be most challenging and to shift the doula hours to 12-8, they can still make all the food and do the baby care in those hours. Also, definitely feel free to pick and choose the postpartum customs that work best for you and your family in modern times! I would’ve gone completely stir-crazy if I couldn’t leave the house or wash my hair for weeks.

        • Anon says

          Hi – I want to say I had TERRIBLE PPA with my first kid, and in hindsight had a difficult recovery and pretty intense birth. When I was pregnant with kid #2 it was 2020, my marriage was on the rocks, and a parent just died 1 month before baby was due. Although I didn’t hire out, we had…a lot of help. So, you do you girl. I will say I filled a rx for a SSRI before giving birth “in case” I needed it, and I started it roughly 2 months pp and it has changed my life for the better. May be something you think about.

          Also, I’m Indian so there’s a similar belief that the mum should rest & recover, with specific foods/ingredients used to help the mum with her recovery, and family (if local) is happy to help with that. My Korean friend’s mum made me that awesome chicken/seaweed soup, which was clutch for recovery. Bring on the Asian traditions!

        • No Face says

          How dare you address your own needs as if they matter! Just kidding, gets as much help as you want or need. Women taking care of children while being completely and utterly isolated is actually not how most babies were raised!

          I am not familiar with Korean doulas, but can switching her schedule make sense? I would want help from 1pm to 9pm or 2pm to 10pm way more than 8am to 4pm, especially with a spirited toddler for you to manage!

      • Anon says

        this is such an obnoxious response. what do you mean it is a joke post. and i have heard of many people having that much help or more (be it paid or unpaid help). plus each person’s and each family’s needs are so individual. i have twins and don’t plan on being pregnant again, but i had such a terrible delivery and physical recovery the first time and such bad ppa/ppd, i could see myself planning for more help if i were to do it again.

    • CCLA says

      If it’s in your budget, I say get the night nurse too, and I would even prioritize that in the first few weeks if you had to pick. Family seems to be better at day time unless they are really there to HELP – presumably grandma can watch the baby while you shower during the day but may not be up at 3am to assist.

      I had both daytime and night time help for our first after a truly awful first three weeks – DH was in residency so got like 5 days of time off and I hate having people up in my space so thought I’d just be independent, lol, bad idea. Night nurse was like buying sleep, that was amazing, but daytime help was super crucial too flor me to just get out of the house, nap, gym, whatever (or sometimes she ran errands depending on what I felt like doing).

  7. Anonymous says

    Who has an everyday purse that they love? I’ve learned that crossbody works best for me running around doing mom stuff so I have my hands free and crossbody styles are small enough that I don’t lose things in it like I do with tote bags. I have the lulu lemon festival bag and it’s great for travel, but I want something that is a bit nicer looking, that I could take to a nicer lunch date. Ideally will hold full sized wallet, iPhone, keys AirPods, and a few kid snacks and if needed, could cram the kiddo’s water bottle in there. Doesn’t have to be leather. I like the look of the madewell crossbody camera bag, but am worried that the second I purchase anything it’s going to be and look EXTREMELY dated and maKe me appear extremely out of touch…. I don’t need to be on the cutting edge, just not stuck 3 at decades ago. Ideally budget up to $250. TIA!

    • Pogo says

      I have a Tory Burch Frida Satchel Medium Crossbody that I love, but it’s several years old and I don’t think they sell it anymore. Looks like there are a bunch on Poshmark tho! I can (and do) fit a diaper clutch in mine when needed.

    • Marshmallow says

      Lo and Sons Pearl. For a little larger/fancier looking, Mansur Gavriel Tulipano (comes in several sizes).

    • drpepperesq says

      ok so this might be considered dated, but i personally overlooked it because of convenience/versatility. i bought the nylon longchamp with the cross body strap in black. it is large enough that i can fit a kids water bottle, snacks, my wallet, etc but small enough that things don’t get too lost inside. since it is nylon, it wipes clean. it’s also super light since the only leather are the handle straps and the flap that goes over the zipper. i know probably THE MOMENT for the nylon longchamp has passed, but when i saw they make it with a crossbody strap i went for it.

    • Anon says

      I have a kate spade medium polly leather shoulder bag from 3 years ago. It has a crossbody strap which I use on occasion (I prefer the shoulder strap but also have a wild child, so sometimes I need both hands). Might be bigger than what you are looking for, but I love it.

      The Cary Shoulder or Soft Tabby Hobo bags from Coach looks similar but will be on the pricier end unless you can find them on sale.

    • Anon says

      Check out Annabel Ingall totes. I bought her Isabella tote during a friends & family sale years ago at Bloomingdales years ago and it has held up beautifully, despite being used as a psuedo diaperbag. I know it’s a bit above budget but highly recommend.

    • Anonymous says

      Cuyana gets a lot of love here. You might look at one of their crossbody bags.

      For that amount of money, I bought a nice crossbody from The REal Real. It’s not Chanel, but it’s a designer I like that makes quality stuff. I find the best deals on TRR are smaller brands and relatively classic styles.

    • Anonymous says

      I bought the Longchamp “Small Le Foulonné Leather Crossbody Bag” this summer for this exact purpose! I use a Lululemon bag belt on the weekend and needed something polished for a nice lunch or dinner out. It’s sleek, minimalist, and not too trendy—hopefully won’t look outdated in five years. I can fit in two giant iPhone Max’s (mine + one for work), sunglasses, keys, AirPods, and small wallet without distorting the shape. Got mine on sale for around $200.

  8. Anon says

    A vent out into the void. We are all crusty/have colds (no fevers) at my house. DH was gone on a quick work trip last week, and came back and was sick as well. Everyone’s dragging and whiny and DH (who is more particular than me) has been constantly mumbling about the cleanliness of the house/how he understands its been a lot on me I’ve been busy managing while he’s out/he feels he’s just been cleaning up messes since coming home/hasn’t been able to relax. Yes, we have a cleaning service, coming this week. He also leaves tomorrow for another work trip and I’m just so annoyed on multiple levels and I know it’s the situation but ughhhh

    • Anon says

      When my husband does stuff like that mature anon goes out the window and I become very reactive. Stop whining and start cleaning.
      Sorry OP. I know that’s not helpful but commiseration.

      • OP says

        Yup – we’ve done a lot of work/therapy on our communication styles, so I know his mumbling isn’t personal to me but I GET SO ANNOYED.

        Like my dude, if you wanted a perfect home upon your return from a trip, you should have a SAHW. Or hire a touch-up cleaning service. Between working, being sick, taking care of two (sick) kids, and regular house stuff (laundry, groceries, cooking/getting food, cleaning) – something’s gotta give and I am not going to run myself ragged by doing a full sweep of the house before you return.

        • Anonymous says

          Right there with you. If you want the life of a man with a SAHW, then let me quit my job and do the full-time job of tending the house and kids (which I’d happily do at this point since I hate both my job and life as a working mom). Otherwise, shut up and put in another load of laundry, dude.

        • SC says

          I have a SAH husband, and the house is not perfectly clean all the time. I can guarantee you that if I were out of town, and he and Kiddo were both sick, the house would be a disaster. The expectation would be that people were clean, fed, and taken care of.

    • Anon says

      Dude, if my DH came home after I’d been solo parenting and complained about about how the house looked I would tell him to F off.

      • Cb says

        Yeah, I occasionally grumble about food rotting in the fridge, but otherwise, I shut up!
        My husband has some sort of flu and is a Victorian invalid with an iphone, so commiseration.

    • Anon says

      Commiseration. My husband started humming the music from cinderella last night while cleaning even though he was gone three days last week (and we have four kids 7 and under). We do have a cleaning service but things pile up. I was… not happy. Although I have to admit he does way more cleaning than I do so maybe that was unfair of me! But we all bring something to the table and just parenting while your partner is gone is a lot!

      • OP says

        THIS!!! The fact that I manage as much as I do, I give myself a LOT of props.

        My DH is borderline OCD on his neatness preferences, so for his standards/perspective, he has relaxed a lot about the state of our house…but compared to the average family with 2 big jobs and 2 kids <5, our house is pristine (IMHO)…and sh*t just happens. There will be a few crumbs missed on the counter or floor. Maybe even some rice smashed on the rug from when one of our sons went to go play in the living room after dinner. I'm not going to like do a white glove inspection of the house before you return.

    • Anon says

      Hah! I posted last week about needing motivation to be nicer to my husband.

      I had been solo parenting while he was sick in bed with COVID (I had to push through…) while working and getting everything ready for back to school.

      Honestly, I told him how frustrated I was. Explained that he needed to deal – I was handing a lot Aaaaand then the second he was well enough to juggle children, I did one of those ‘out for errands’ days where I basically got a fancy coffee and wandered around HomeGoods for far too long. It was therapeutic.

    • Pogo says

      I finally got so sick of DH whining about not sleeping well I told him to sleep in the guest bedroom away from all of us (we’re all sick, but me and the oldest are the most cough-y).

      • SC says

        I’ve basically moved into our guest bedroom, and tbh it’s been great for our marriage. DH visits before bed, then goes to the primary bedroom to sleep.

  9. Pregnancy Vent says

    I need to share this somewhere and I definitely can’t say it in real life so here it goes.

    Am I the only one who does not enjoy being pregnant? I’m 4 months with my third child and wow, I just hate hate hate being pregnant. I’m in my late late 30s and thanks to many years of infertility and loss, we are doing this parenting thing both later in life and with kids much closer together than planned. I love my kids so much and I’m so excited to have another, but I just am so tired of feeling awful in the meantime. I hate the way people treat me, I hate how it impacts my career and credibility at work, and I hate the constant fear and anxiety that something is going to go wrong and this will all be for nothing. Everyone around me, including other moms who are much younger than I am, seems to have moved on from the pregnancy/baby stage. Everyone I work with has kids who are high school age or older. I guess I just feel very alone.

    I feel so guilty that after everything we went through to have our first, I can’t just enjoy this and be one of those happy pregnant ladies. But I can’t seem to get there.

    • Anon says

      I too hated being pregnant for many reasons (daily vomiting until the end being one of them, but not the only one) and love my kid. It’s perfectly OK!

    • Anon says

      Wait, Katie – is that you??

      No, in all seriousness: you are not alone. I would say my friends are about evenly split between ‘loved being pregnant’, ‘tolerated it but not my fav’, and ‘I hate being pregnant’. It’s also so different how it impacts different people.

      You are not alone. You’re also allowed to love your kids and being a mom and hate the things you need to deal with to be one. That includes career setbacks, feeling isolated, and the physical impacts of pregnancy.

    • octagon says

      I hated being pregnant. I hated the way my body felt, hated my shifting center of gravity, hated that I didn’t sleep well for months, hated the constant indigestion (which never went away). It’s not just you. My husband, bless his heart, told me I was beautiful and glowing and I just wanted to fast forward to the birth after about 8 weeks.

    • Anonymous says

      Nope. I hated it. I had healthy normal pregnancies and I just was so over it. Only bonus is having a spot to balance a bowl of ice cream.

      • Anonymous says

        I hated every second of it and couldn’t even enjoy the ice cream part because I had hyperemesis and sugar made me puke. Once you let go of the idea that you should be “cherishing this special time” and accept that it’s okay to feel lousy while your body is being invaded by a parasitic being that wants to kill you, some of the guilt lifts.

    • Anon says

      No, I think many many people don’t enjoy being pregnant? I think among people I know (and I’m in my late thirties with three kids) more people didn’t enjoy being pregnant than did. Morning sickness, sciatica, swollen feet. I’m not sure who enjoys that. And I had serious complications with two of my three so I was constantly at the doctor.

      Why can’t you say it in real life? I totally complained. I think you’d be more alone if you DID enjoy being pregnant!

    • Anon says

      It’s very normal to not like being pregnant. I actually loved it (only had to do it once though, which definitely helped) but I think most people see it as an unpleasant thing they have to do to get kids.

    • Anon says

      Two pregnancies and the only things I ever enjoyed about them were a) eating unlimited ice cream without feeling guilt and b) wearing body con dresses (not normally my thing) without feeling self conscious. I had awful nausea/vomiting and severe food aversions with both kids. My second kid was over 9 pounds and I think my pelvis will never recover. It’s a lot, and I really love being a mom. NEVER AGAIN.

    • Spirograph says

      I did not enjoy being pregnant, and I enjoyed it the least when I was pregnant with my 3rd. I was younger, but had kids close together, too and by #3 I was going on 5 years straight of pregnancy & breastfeeding without ever having much chance to go back to “normal” in the middle. It’s a means to an end. Is it amazing that I made babies out of food? yes! Did I enjoy feeling tired, uncomfortable, unattractive and generally like my body was a vessel, up for public comment, and a billboard to have the same insipid small talk conversations over and over again for several months? no!

      While I had normal, healthy, “easy” pregnancies, being pregnant was just not fun for me. I love the result, though. It’s just a (comparatively) short phase to get through to make it to the main event. Congrats and best wishes for a smooth pregnancy and healthy baby! Three kids is the wildest, best adventure I’ve ever been on.

    • Anon says

      I think the people who enjoy being pregnant are the oddballs! Yes in an abstract way I “enjoy” creating new life, it’s cool, etc, but how can you actually like nausea, insomnia, heartburn, giving up alcohol, getting larger, and peeing 20x a day?!

      Even during the brief periods of second trimester when I felt almost “normal” I would never say I enjoyed it. Pregnancy is the necessary slog to get to the goal.

    • anon says

      I loved being pregnant and when I tell people that they are surprised. I think people who enjoy pregnancy are very much a minority

      • Anon says

        Completely agree! Loved the first one (age 40) and loving the second one (age 42) and people are very surprised. I think it’s really normal (and totally fine, and not at all a sign of the kind of mother you are!) to not love or to hate being pregnant.

    • Anonymous says

      I hated my first pregnancy – girl, sort of liked my second -boy- (I had a lot of energy) until 36 weeks. I had horribly nausea with my first and never felt good. My second was a big baby so weeks 36-40 carrying around a full term baby were miserable. I also like newborns but hate postpartum

    • Anon says

      After two weeks with my my baby, I concluded that people only like being pregnant in retrospect. I had an easy pregnancy and was kinda meh about it, but once I had a screaming demon ripping up my n*pples and no clue what I was doing, pregnancy seemed pretty rosy.

    • Aunt Jamesina says

      I had a pretty “easy” pregnancy and I still hated it. You can love the outcome and hate the process to get there, but I feel like some people have this warped view that women should “enjoy” pregnancy as some sort of proof of how much they care about motherhood. It’s bullsh!t

    • Leatty says

      Nope, I hated it too! I hated the way I looked, the way I felt, the loss of bodily autonomy, etc. DH and I were each one of three kids, but we are stopping at two. Even if we had the mental bandwidth to care for a third kid (we definitely don’t!), I refuse to be pregnant again.

    • DLC says

      I found being pregnant physically fine and kind of fascinating, but mentally and emotionally it was really really hard. I’m also a very private person, so it was hard to navigate not wanting to share a lot with others, but also feeling very lonely.

    • OP says

      Thank you for these kind responses! I literally teared up with relief that it isn’t just me.

      I’m not sure where the idea that I’m supposed to “enjoy” this came from — maybe from the fact that we spent so many years trying to achieve it? Or from some social messaging that I internalized without realizing it? Anyway, thank you for making me feel less alone.

  10. An.On. says

    Is there a way to search comments? I feel like I’ve known how to do this in the past, but now I can’t pull up anything but posts which have the keywords in them.

    • Anon says

      I’ve never been able to search the site for comment threads. I always google “[thing i want to find]” and site:corporettemoms.com or something similar.

    • Pogo says

      I use g o o g l e and just put in name of this s1te and the topic. All of this is difficult to do while avoiding mod, but something like “c0rpor3ttem0ms sleeping training” in the search bar usually does it.

  11. Snowpants says

    The question about snow gear earlier and today’s definitely fall-ish weather reminded me that I need to start shopping for winter clothes for my kiddo. She just turned 2. We’re hoping to do potty training in a couple months if she’s up for it. At what age did you start doing separate bibs and winter coat v. a one-piece snowsuit?

    • ElisaR says

      i think we moved over to bib/jacket combo as soon as mine could walk. We only had a full snowsuit when they were infants and we never used it. last year i bought pants on sale instead of a bib, that resulted in a lot of snow up the back but they worked well enough.

    • Anonymous says

      Thanks, that’s what I was thinking. Kiddo figured out walking in the middle of last winter, but happily spent a couple months belly flopping all over the snow. I’m hoping she’s more interested in staying upright this year, lol!

      • Vicky Austin says

        Can’t lie, I would like to spend a couple months belly flopping all over the snow!

        • Anonymous says

          I know, right? I’d like to sign myself up for daycare. Breakfast, lunch, and two snacks/day, a nap, and then I can spend the rest of the time for 5 months of the year belly flopping in the snow outside!

    • Anonymous says

      Age 1, but that was partly because we had a long skinny kid who didn’t fit into one-piece snowsuits and needed bibs with adjustable straps.

    • DLC says

      We had my five year old in a one piece snow suit for those snow days when he was playing in the snow. I found it easier to put him and and kept him warmer.

ABOUT

WORK WITH US

SERIOUS STUFF