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I haven’t really subscribed to the oxford trend before, but if you’re on the hunt for a flat shoe with laces that you can wear to work, these are very highly rated and they’re only $88.95 at Nordstrom. (Amazon has a few lucky sizes as low as $70.) Reviewers are talking about wearing them with cropped pants and cropped jeans, and I think it would be a cute look for the right woman. They’re available in the pictured black suede and also a two-tone natural suede, both in sizes 5.5–11. TOMS Kiltie Oxford
(L-all)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
POSITA says
Any suggestions for helping a parent through a hip replacement?
My mother is a particularly terrible patient. She has zero trust for doctors and often does too much too soon and reinjures herself. She also has a tendency towards depression and lives a very solitary life in the middle of nowhere. There won’t be anyone to check on her in person so I will have to trust what she tells me, which isn’t always accurate. I could probably go down for a few days to help, but I’m not sure if I’d be more help or trouble with a baby and preschooler in tow. I’m particularly concerned about her pain management since doctors are being weird about pain meds in view of the opioid epidemic.
Anon says
Can you or a family member be there for a short period while she is hospitalized? I would try to speak privately with her doctor at that time and let them know that you have significant concerns about her self-care when released and encourage them to keep her as long as possible. If you can/her insurance covers it, arrange for some home care when she is discharged. Aim for less hours per day but visits every day vs. a full day twice a week. When you visit, I would visit on your own if possible. Go for two shorter visits vs. one longer visit if possible.
POSITA says
I think her sister is going to fly in for the week of the surgery, so she should be well cared for during that time. I’m most concerned about the following 2-3 months of recovery. She’s young-ish (early 60s) with no other health issues so I don’t think they’re going to want to give her home care for long, if at all. The dr is actually encouraging her to go home the day of the surgery, though they will let her stay overnight for pain managment.
I still have a nursing infant and the drive is about 7 hours (no local airport), so it’s hard to go alone or even just with the baby.
mascot says
+1 on speaking to the doctor. My MIL (75+, lives alone) has broken both hips. After both surgeries she was discharged from the hospital to a rehab unit in a nursing home to help her get her strength and confidence back and to make sure that she got all the physical and occupational therapy she needed. I’d ask about similar options for your mom (the hospital/surgeon does not want her to get re- injured and have to be re-admitted so they are usually prepared for this). Also ask about home health. If she doesn’t qualify for home health when she’s discharged home, look at private duty nursing or sitters while she gets back on her feet. It’s out of pocket, but can give you some reassurance. Getting her confidence back was a big deal for my MIL and it took her some time. Does she have a group of friends or church group that can help stock her kitchen with easy to eat meals? She may even qualify for meals on wheels or similar since she is probably not going to be able to drive. Also talk to the doctor/therapist about modifications she may need in the home- install grab bars in bathroom, removing throw rugs and other tripping hazards, learning to use a walker or cane, getting a lift chair (they make nice looking ones) if she has a hard time getting up every now and then. Some of this you can probably do when you go down. Also, look into one of those emergency call necklaces for peace of mind for you both.
Good luck. This is doable , but it takes some time.
Marilla says
+2 with reaching out to the doctor or hospital (there may be a care coordinator or someone else who can deal with discharge planning and home care). I don’t know what the set-up is in the US in terms of home care and follow-up physio, but if nothing is available from the hospital, I would look into hiring someone privately. In a smaller town, you may need to go through a big agency since there may not be a big pool of individuals you can personally hire (similar to hiring a nanny).
I would hire a PSW (Personal Support Worker) to go over for an hour or two a day. They can help her shower, prepare a light lunch, even prepare a light dinner and put it in the fridge for her to microwave later. In my city you can often find a PSW who is actually trained as a nurse before moving to Canada – not recognized here but sort of gives you a little added confidence in their competence and judgment. Depending on the agency, they may handle house cleaning as well.
Definitely look at the accessibility of her home. Is it all one level or is her shower, for example, on a second storey? Will she need a stairlift? These can be rented for a month or two as needed (not cheap unfortunately).
I would put on your shopping list: raised toilet seat (installs right on the regular toilet and can be removed when no longer needed), shower chair, grab bars (have to be installed but don’t hurt and can only help – Moen also makes a line of things like toilet paper holders and towel bars that can act as grab bars that may be an easier sell if your mom is very resistant), and a walker. There are also those grabby gripper things that help her reach things without having to bend down or stretch up. If she has private insurance, at least some of this should be covered. Some of it you can buy second-hand or rent.
Can you and your aunt collaborate to get this organized? Or will she need you to handle most of it, drive down for a few days with the baby to get things set up. You would be surprised how much elder care you can manage while also juggling a baby. Most of the time it works out OK. The worst is that usually baby + elderly or sick relative are not on the same nap schedule, so you don’t get any personal break really, but it is survivable temporarily. Bring an exersaucer and a pack and play if you go.
If you can fill her freezer with ready to eat meals, and her pantry with easy snacks that she’ll eat, that will help also.
I would get everyone in her life as well to put a lot of pressure on her regarding physio and at-home exercises (they will give her a list) after the surgery. It makes a huge difference in recovering mobility. Early 60s is young and she should recover well – it is such a routine surgery by now and the hospitals and surgeons are well experienced – but the follow-up really makes a difference. Maybe you can do them with her by Skype or Facetime?
Good luck – I know this is so unbelievably hard – and you can also decide for yourself how much you’re prepared to do and give and set your own personal boundaries. I apologize for writing such a novel. Unfortunately I have a lot of experience with old and sick parents and my dad is actually in surgery right now for his second hip replacement after a fall. The sandwich generation phase of life is tough.
Anon says
Ugh. Family in the middle of nowhere is so hard. Get her home care as a hospitalization present, and explain it to her as “someone to do all the things you don’t want to do”. She’ll still probably reject it, but insist. And second the idea to do it as 30-60 min once a day rather than 4 hours every Tues. My relative ended up having the person bring milk or whatever misc grocery she needed, and then do things like reach an item on a top shelf or shovel the driveway or help her with a bracelet. And I think the company helped.
Depends on you and your kids, but there was no way I could be of help with a baby and toddler in tow, esp without a spouse along. Houses aren’t baby-proofed and the kids aren’t used to the layout, so you spend way too much time saying things like “stop playing with the glass bowl in the bathroom” and “please don’t touch the pill bottles on the kitchen counter”.
In addition to that, call her church or friends or just the town gossip and arrange a meal dropoff plan. Try to get someone to stop by every other day or every few days with a meal or a snack or whatever, just to have some company visiting in those first few weeks. That will encourage her to get out of bed and stick to her routine, and plus you have people checking in on her, and you know it’ll get back to the organizer (who will get back to you) about any concerns. And this is what small towns are good at – they’d likely do it anyway, but this way you establish yourself as the Loving Family Member to Call with Issues.
POSITA says
Ugh. I wish she had a local network. She only moved to the area a few years ago and hasn’t gotten out much. She has horses, so her regular social contact is with a veterinarian, ferrier, horse trainer and hay guy. Not really folks you can call on in this situation. They’re friendly, but not friends.
Anon says
Is she a member of a church? And not locally, I just mean would she say she’s Catholic? Methodist? Or would she say she was raised as one of those? Let’s say she’s Methodist. Call the local Methodist church. Explain that your mother is a Methodist, moved to the area in the last few years, is an introvert and hasn’t established herself yet in the community, but she’s having this surgery and you’d feel so much better if there was a local community supporting her. They know what to do, but if you have to, spell out your request for a visitor every few days. At a minimum I bet the priest/pastor would add her to his weekly rounds.
POSITA says
She quit her local Methodist church because of the racist and anti-immigrant talk during the election last fall. She was particularly offended by a couple of the sermons by the pastor. She’s not on good terms and has no interest in making amends.
Meg Murry says
Are the horses at her property or does she board them? Has she hired someone to care for them while she is recovering?
If the horses are at her property, could you find out who will be checking on the horses and find out if they will let you pay them extra to also check on your mother and keep you updated or run errands for her? Or, not to stereotype, but perhaps the vet or horse trainer have spouses or other family members that would be willing to “help out” with meals or errands for her (that you can pay them for and not tell her you are paying for it).
And a giant +1 to the part above about discharging her to the rehab unit of a nursing home for the first week, not straight home if at all possible. At the nursing home they will make sure she does her physical and occupational therapy 2X a day and stay on top of her pain meds, without her having to get in and out of the car to drive somewhere for therapy.
avocado says
What about visiting before the surgery to get everything set up (grab bars, toilet seat, etc.), cook some freezer meals, attend a doctor’s appointment to voice your concerns, and get home care arranged? That could be easier with kids than a post-surgery visit.
POSITA says
She’s still very competent. I think she’s planning to do these things herself. She’s getting the hip replacement so that she can continue riding her horses. I could go down before the surgery, but I don’t know how much she’d let me do. She’d probably rather play with the grandkids during the visit and do the other stuff herself when we’re not there.
NewMomAnon says
I was hospitalized for an emergency surgery shortly after kiddo was born, and the doctor offered up a rehab facility as an option because my husband at the time wasn’t in a great place to be caring for me. So age doesn’t necessarily indicate eligibility for post-surgical care.
For hip replacements, there is a lot of post-surgical physical therapy, both in the dr office and at home. There are a lot of pain meds, that need to be managed by someone not taking the pain meds. Your MIL will need help for weeks, and I think it would be a huge stretch for you to be the primary caregiver.
TBK says
Please tell me that the second winter of daycare/preschool is better than the first wrt sickness. My twins started preschool two mornings per week this fall and I swear there have been maybe ten days total since then when they’ve both been well. We’re doing double stomach bug + croup at the moment. Which last night involved asking the nighttime on-call nurse to “hang on for a second” when she called back (1) just after A had barfed in his crib, again; (2) while B was wailing at the top of his lungs because I think he had gas pain,; and (3) I had just backed into and knocked over the humidifier. Then I took the call while wiping down A, trying to hear the nurse over B’s screams, and trying to keep A from smashing his face into his barfed-on but much beloved blanket (he was screaming “bwanket bwanket” by the end , like I was just being evil keeping it from him). It was as awesome as you’d expect. Oh did I mention husband is on travel? Yeah.
Anonymous says
It is in my experience! Hang tight!
EB0220 says
Yes, it’s much better. Kiddo #1 had an awful 1st year but smooth sailing since.
Anon in NYC says
UGH. You have my sympathy! That sounds terrible.
POSITA says
We had a terrible winter last year. So so so bad. This one has been better so far.
anon says
It’s definitely better in year 2 and beyond.
TBK says
Thanks. Part of our reason for sending them to preschool was to get them sick. They’re otherwise home with their au pair so we thought in addition to the socialization and everything else, a little sickness would be good for them. We got all we wanted and more. Hopefully they’re just getting built up for next year! At least the adults in the house have, for the most part, escaped illness. We only seem to get it if it’s an adult who gets sick first.
Meg Murry says
Yes, it will be better next year. I have friends that teach pre-k and kindergarten and she said you could tell which kids were at home with a parent or babysitter vs which were in preschool simply by looking at their attendance records – kids that who were in their first year of schooling missed tons more school than those that had attended preschool.
And for sympathy, a friend with twins said that they had a grand total of 5 full days of daycare for their twins in the entire month of February the first year the babies were in daycare. So yes, it gets better.
anon says
Our first daycare year, when my son was an infant, unfortunately coincided with my husband’s first year teaching high school. It was a dark time – we were all so sick. But 4 years later, husband basically never gets sick. I’m still catching a few things, as is my son, but it’s much better.
ChiLaw says
Ugh I’m glad to hear it gets better. This is our first daycare winter and there hasn’t been a day since Thanksgiving, I swear, where no one in our family has been un-sick.
CPA Lady says
My pediatrician said that every year they are in daycare they get sick half as often as the year before. It has been true for us, knock on wood. The first winter it was every ten minutes. The next winter was pretty often. This winter, hardly at all.
Patty Mayonnaise says
Anyone have experience with acupuncture during pregnancy? I’m 32 weeks and the baby is transverse (and has been for a few weeks). I’ve been seeing a chiropractor, but I’d like to feel like I’m doing everything I can to get this baby into the correct position. My doula has suggested looking into acupuncture as well. I’d really appreciate any advice you ladies might have. Thanks!!!
anon says
I did it for positional issues and to move labor along when I was past due. No idea if it helped (my baby was flipped manually by external version) but it felt good and my acupuncturist was very knowledgeable about various medical aspects I wasn’t thinking about. It definitely did help for stuff you didn’t mention, like headaches and nausea. I’d go in feeling terrible and come out 100% better. It would only last a day, but worth it for that alone.
NewMomAnon says
Have you tried spinning babies? There is a website that includes a bunch of exercises. I did acupuncture during pregnancy, but I think you kind of have to believe in it for it to work, and I didn’t see how a needle in between my shoulder blades could fix the issues I was having….so I didn’t find it helpful.
Patty Mayonnaise says
I have been trying the stretches/exercises from Spinning Babies too. Thanks!
rosie says
I did acupuncture throughout fertility treatments, first tri, and miscarriages, and definitely found it beneficial. My acupuncturist has patients return beginning around 35w, and I am not there yet, but I will reach out to her sooner if I have specific concerns. I would suggest finding someone who has a focus on fertility/pregnancy, if possible in your area (maybe your doula has a recommendation).
Anonymous says
You also still have time — My OB told me not to worry about it until 36 weeks. I do bounce on an exercise ball (and rotating your hips in a circle on an exercise ball helps them drill down into correct position).
Anonymous says
If you’re in NYC, I highly recommend Dr. Yan. Works out of his home on the UWS through word of mouth. Specializes in inductions and turning babies. I went two days before my due date when my OB threatened me with a C section if the baby got any bigger (she was only half joking), and 24 hours later, was in labor. Maybe a coincidence, maybe placebo, but I was thrilled!
Butter says
Talk to me about professional baby/family photos. This was not a thing in my family growing up, and I don’t really know how to do it. I see all kinds of things – staged/posed photos of kids in buckets/wagons/trees; families wearing matching clothes frolicking on a beach; and what look like really expensive candid family photos. What do you all do? Where do I start? LO is turning one soon and I feel like this is Something We Should Do.
Also, any great non-Pinterest-y ideas for celebrating the one year mark would be appreciated. We’re not doing a big party – just moved and don’t have our village yet – but I am looking for nice ways to mark the milestone.
Anonymous says
What pictures do you like? All those options are out there. What is your goal with the photos: Do you want them on Facebook, hanging around your house, or in an album? Do you roll your eyes at any of them? Think any of them are amazing?
Personally, I go for the “expensive candid family photos” because they’re the most representative of my actual life with my child– and I think the other styles look dated faster.
Find a few photographers in your area, flip through their portfolios on their blog or Facebook. Picture your family in there– does it look silly? Or heartwarming?
Mrs. Jones says
Twice a year we go to JC Penney portrait studio. It’s cheap (there’s always a coupon out) and gives us things to frame for us and relatives.
For son’s first birthday, we invited grandparents and a handful of friends. We had cake and snacks and champagne while son and two other day care kids played with toys.
Sarabeth says
Each year on our daughter’s birthday, my husband and I stay up late after her bedtime and write a long list of all the things we remember about her from that year – cute stuff, difficult stuff, all of her catch phrases or random obsessions from the year. It started on her first birthday as a way to help us process what was a really difficult year, but it’s become my most treasured family tradition. Can’t wait to start doing it for my son as well.
Anon in NYC says
That is a sweet tradition!
Butter says
Love this!
ChiLaw says
This is SO sweet.
Anon in NYC says
We get professional photos taken for holiday cards. We do a “mini session” which is usually about 30 minutes and less expensive than the standard 3-4 hours. Ours would fall under the bucket of expensive candid family photos. We didn’t do the staged photos or a 1 year old / smash cake photo shoot.
I’d start by finding family photographers in your area, checking out their websites/portfolio and seeing if you like their work. A lot of times you’ll have to contact them for services / rates. Just contact them through their website and ask them about packages and rates. If they don’t say that they offer a mini session, ask them if they’d be willing to do one and how much they’d charge.
In terms of first birthday celebrations, we threw a big party. But my LO loved the balloons we had. It mattered to me to make her birthday cake, so I went all out and figured out how to use a piping bag (which did not matter to her at all, haha).
Alexandria VA says
We have only done formal pictures once. Otherwise we tend to take an abundance of pictures and narrow it down to the select few that are memorable. I would like to get in the tradition of having pictures taken more often, simply so that we have pictures of the three of us.
What do you feel you should do for a first birthday? The first birthday party is more for the parents than the child. I think my son’s favorite part was not what we did or the gifts he received, but the paper crown he was given at daycare on his birthday.
Butter says
Um, I love the paper crown idea! I’m totally making him one of those just for the visual. At the very least he will have fun ripping it off!
October says
Can I just say how much I hate the “smash cake” phenomenon? No one wants to see your baby make a mess, with a face smeared in frosting, in a tutu! Plus it seems so wasteful…. that’s my mini-rant for the day.
Meg Murry says
Yes, I agree. If you want to do it because you love it, ok whatever, I’m not going to judge you because I’m trying to do less of that – but it’s not something I want to do, partially because it did feel wasteful to me.
We did cupcakes for both my kids’ first birthdays, so that way they got their own thing to destroy, but it wasn’t as large or elaborated decorated as a mini-cake.
Edna Mazur says
Ummm…I love seeing that. I think it is freaking adorable. Our grocery store provides a free slightly larger than a cupcake sized smash cake with all first birthday cake orders so the kid isn’t destroying the cake the adults are eating.
I also love the pics of friends kids with frosting all over. I do want to see your baby in a tutu, smeared in frosting. It is one of my favorite things :)
Butter says
I like the idea of going all out and baking a cake from scratch or something, and that you learned how to use a piping bag for the occasion. Not that mine will particularly enjoy cake that much more than a pouch, but it’s more the sentimental factor – literally a labor of love – and would be a cute tradition on its own.
Anon in NYC says
My LO hated the cake and refused to eat it. She didn’t want frosting on her hands and stuck her hands out to me to clean them. Kids. Now she has developed a stronger preference for sweet foods and I think she’ll love her next birthday cake.
NewMomAnon says
Daycare does pictures twice a year, and twice a year I take kiddo to a local store that has a photographer on site for 5 minute individual shoots. Really, all I want is a high quality black and white portrait of kiddo now and then to give to the grandparents and put in her photo album. The less work I have to put in, the better.
SC says
I’ll start off by saying that you don’t have to do it just because it’s Something You Should Do. There are too many of those things in life. But we’ve had photos taken each fall, and I enjoy it. I put some photos in my office and on our walls at home, used them in Christmas cards, and given them to the grandparents as Christmas presents with frames from the dollar store. Also, I had to drag DH to the photo session the first year, and the second year he said it was “definitely” something he wanted to do.
I started by asking a friend whose newborn photos I liked who she used as a photographer. We ended up not doing a newborn session for a variety of reasons, but we used that photographer for family photos when he was around 6-7 months, in time for Christmas. And we did it again this past year.
Our photographer schedules 30-minute slots at our city’s park, which is beautiful. We spend some time choosing what we are all wearing and try to coordinate but not match. We also wear what I’d call “brunch” clothes from our closet because we want to look like us. The photographer brings some minimal props (a blanket or chair, not a bucket or wagon) and picks out specific locations and poses ahead of time. She takes both posed and candid photos, and in various combinations of parents and kid. DH and I tend to dislike candid photos of ourselves, so I appreciate the posed photos and tend to print those out.
You didn’t ask, but we’re in a MCOL area, and our photographer charges $125 for the 30-minute session, allows us to purchase digital copies of all of the photos she gives us for $100, and links to a printer that has good-quality prints for pretty reasonable prices (I think 25 cents for a 4×6 and 99 cents for a 5×7.
Anonymous says
My thought is, don’t do it because you feel pressured to. I’ve done this once so far, when my kids were three and one. I’m glad for the pictures, but it wasn’t necessary. I looked around on websites of photographers recommended on my local moms listserve and picked one who had more “natural” shots — e.g., no jumping in the air all together, no sitting in buckets, etc (not that those are bad — just not our thing). Also, make sure to schedule it not during baby’s naptime, regardless of how good the light is! (oops. Most of our pictures include a sleepy baby.)
When our kids turned one, we gave them a special dinner with their favorite food with the family and a cupcake. Not particularly creative, but everyone was happy. Speaking of photos, I have no photos of my sons with such an expression of joy that rival those taken on their birthdays when they are presented with their birthday cake!
shortperson says
we’ve been using a local person but now that we have hit up all the photogenic local spots, my plan is to use flytographer to book photo sessions when we travel going forward. that way we’ll have nice memories of our trips and capture kiddo each year professionally, which i do care about. i havent used it yet but i stumbled upon it recently and it’s exactly what i was hoping existed.
H says
Agree that you should not do this because it is something you feel pressured to do, especially if it is not something you particularly care about. I personally love having beautiful photos of my family; my smart phone photos just don’t cut it. I have a 2 year old and for the past 2 years, I’ve hired a photographer to take family photos. We usually go somewhere outdoors (golf courses are great) for a couple hours. And we’ve gotten a great photo out of these sessions for holiday cards as well (but that’s not the primary intent of the photo session).
ChiLaw says
We don’t do professional photos, but I keep a scrapbook/baby book. I kept the book really well up to her first birthday, and now I’m doing updates for major things (first steps, trips, etc.). I use that Free Prints app to print photos directly off my phone. Every six months I try to do an interesting update, writing to her about the kind of music she likes, her nicknames, what she’s interested in, etc. We do an annual Christmas card with a family photo and that goes in the scrapbook as well.
Funnily, my kid is *obsessed* with the scrapbook “Mama read fragile book!?”
Photo postet says
Our day care asked for a photo collage for the school birthday celebration. We printed pictures from our phones (1 per month) and glued them to a poster board. Wrote happy birthday on the poster using markers. What we didn’t expect is how much our daughter (age 2) would love the poster! She loved talking about what she did over the past year and friends and family in the pictures. The poster is still hanging in her room 6 months later. Believe me, it is not a work of art, and definitely not pinterest worthy, but it was good enough for a 2 yrs old :)
EB0220 says
I’ve done two mini-sessions with my kids and it’s been great. I have a photo of myself nursing my younger child that is one of my favorite photos ever. Definitely in the prettier candid category. So I think it’s worthwhile but not something I’d spend a ton on.
Meg Murry says
On the list for mental/emotional/logistical labor –
I asked my husband to make a follow up appointment for our son with a specialist and follow up on it all including taking the kid (because *he* flaked on the last appointment and *I* had to cancel at the last minute).
So he did. I put it in my calendar and reminded him, but he had still already remembered – so far so good.
*However*, 2 months ago I gave him our new health insurance cards and told him to throw out the old one in his wallet. 1 month ago I reminded him that the new one was still sitting on his dresser.
This morning I remembered that he probably didn’t have the new insurance card, and sure enough, he doesn’t and they are already on their way to the appointment. So I’m emailing it to him now, and if there are any problems with getting it paid, *HE* is going to deal with it. Except he probably can’t, because it’s my name on the insurance, and we all know how easy insurance companies are to deal with.
Giant sighs. Baby steps. My husband is great about so much of the day to day, but is so not detail oriented about this kind of thing.
avocado says
Ugh. I really, really hate the whole “only the parent whose name is on the insurance can deal with the insurance company” issue, along with the “at some doctors’ offices only the parent whose name is on the insurance can be the responsible party.” It wasn’t as much of a problem when I was on my husband’s insurance along with the kid, but now that she is on his policy and I have my own it’s a hassle because I am the one who pays all the bills. My favorite was the time the doctor’s office wouldn’t let me pay a bill until they looked up the HIPAA form to verify that I was authorized to obtain personal health information because I wasn’t listed as the responsible party. Guess who filled out that form in the first place? Me, because I am the child’s parent! If I am legally responsible for the child, then I should automatically have the right to all of the information and to deal directly with the health insurance company. This has got to be a huge problem for single moms whose children’s health insurance is provided through the father. /End rant.
I just put the insurance cards in my husband’s wallet for him. Otherwise they never make it in there. But I never have to think about taking out the garbage, so I guess it balances out.
Em says
If it helps, as long as he is a named beneficiary on the policy he might be able to handle stuff. I handled several issues when our insurance was through my husband.
S says
+1. My mom did all of that growing up and we were on my dad’s policy.
SC says
I hear you. Four or five months ago, DH and I got pulled over, allegedly because I was not wearing my seatbelt. I was in the back seat of an SUV with dark windows, so I’m not sure how they could tell whether I was wearing my seatbelt, but whatever. Anyways, the seatbelt fine was $40, no big deal. Except DH didn’t have his insurance or registration in the car, and his inspection sticker was expired. I had put the registration on the side table by the door, and when we got home, it was sitting exactly where it had been for a year. The ticket ended up being $962. I represented him in traffic court last month and got it down to $40 for me not having my seat belt on.
HSAL says
So I had thought that 2015 would be the end of me getting prints of photos and putting them in albums, and instead we’d start doing an annual photobook with all the best pictures since all of ours are online somewhere. But making a book for 2016 just seems daunting, and so I’m tempted to just order all the pictures anyway and put them in albums. Anyone else struggling? I made a book for the grandparents for Baby HSAL’s first year and it was such a pain, even with Mixbook.
avocado says
I find ordering prints to be just as much work as making photo books. Which is why I am currently four years behind.
AwayEmily says
A plug for Chatbooks — you just “favorite” the photos that you like on your phone, and every 60 photos that you favorite you get sent a little book of them all printed out. They are $8 each and you have to do NOTHING. No choosing, no rearranging, nothing. The book just automatically makes itself and sends (you do get the option to make changes before it sends, but I never bother). It is so great. We have ended up getting one about every 3-4 months.
Anonymous says
+1. I have chatbooks set up to pull everything on my Instagram with a certain hashtag. I get a complete photobook in the mail (with dates, captions, etc., from Instagram) whenever there are enough to fill up a book (60 photos). It’s amazing.
October says
I am pretty committed to prints for sentimental reasons (loved looking through photo albums as a kid), but have fallen way behind. I think part of the problem is we take SO MANY phone pictures. I am going to try limiting prints mainly to photos from our real camera (which we pull out for special occasions, so those highlights will be documented) as well as a select smattering of phone pictures to fill in gaps. I figure that having some pictures printed is better than being so overwhelmed I never get to it.
anon says
I’m super impressed you do either! (My own baby book is blank and my parents camera was broken for much of my younger brother’s childhood). Do the old fashioned route if that is what works for you.
EBMom says
I haven’t done this yet, but I think I am resolving to let Shutterfly auto-arrange photos and order the 2 annual baby books that I am behind on. We use Shutterfly to share photos with family, so they are all on there and roughly organized by date. I’d like to put together a nice album that is carefully arranged with beautiful and detailed captions, but it just isn’t happening. I think perfect is being the enemy of good enough here. So maybe this weekend I will just sit down and let Shutterfly auto-arrange an album with no captions and just order it. Then at least we will have something. I also plan to do Chatbooks.
shortperson says
if you’re willing to shell out $399, tweedwolf will select the best photos out of the gazillion photo dump from your computer and a real person will make the book and communicate with you on the edits. personally, i am not willing, even though the number of hours i spend making photo books means that i really should be willing. but i know people who have admitted that it’s tweedwolf or nothing and use it.
EBMom says
Huh. Good to know about this service! It sounds pricey, but for the value they are providing I could see this being worth it. For my situation, we only uploaded the very best photos to Shutterfly (maybe averaging about 1 photo a day). So I don’t need as much help curating the photos as I otherwise might.
One of my New Year’s resolutions is to keep better curated photos, so I’m trying to instantaneously delete all but the very best photos on a daily basis. It is helping a lot and I enjoy looking through the photos a lot more when I just have 1 or 2 from each event.
AnonMN says
Shutterfly just revamped their photobooks. You can now allow it to autoarrange, but also do a storyboard where you slide over the photos on the pages you want them. It then autos the layout and you can update it if wanted. I’ve found it be 100% easier than the previous “auto-arrange” especially since I am a little picky about which pictures go on which page. I don’t do any captions or special anything, just put the photos where I want, and order (or save it for a free book code).
Another vote for chatbooks. We have them autosent to us and it’s great.
TBK says
I cannot find the time for a photobook. So I order prints and put them in old fashioned albums. There are no fancy layouts, no photos that aren’t the right resolution for a particular size, no worries about it getting saved properly. And it’s cheaper.
Vasectomy Question says
For those of you whose husbands have had a vasectomy, how long does that whole process take? This is what I’m imagining in my mind– he goes to some kind of initial appointment, schedules the actual procedure. The procedure is done at some point, and then after that there are several months where I still have to be on birth control. So from the initial appointment to the point where I get to stop taking birth control is going to be several months?
I’m going off one form of birth control next week, and have an appointment to discuss what to do between now and whenever I no longer need contraception. Could we just do c*ndoms? Or is that dumb? I’m really over hormonal birth control. Everything I’ve taken during the last two years has had some kind of awful side effect and I’m counting down the days til I don’t have to be on anything.
Anon in NYC says
No advise on the vasectomy, but we use condoms so I don’t think it’s dumb! Pre-marriage, I took hormonal birth control and we also used condoms. Post-marriage I couldn’t be bothered to take hormonal birth control because I never remembered to take it at the same time, and we just used condoms until we were ready to TTC. Now we’re back to using condoms.
ChiLaw says
We’ve been using ’em for years — HBC doesn’t agree with me, and my body just rejects IUDs, so here we go.
It’s not nearly as annoying as the physical pain of the IUD or the mental health issues with HBC (and frankly I’m glad to have a break from being the one in charge of birth control). We’re planning on using ’em for the next 5-7 years, to make sure we’re really one-and-done, before he gets the snip.
ChiLaw says
Oh! I should’ve said: don’t give up if you hate the first brand you try. It took some trial and error for us to find the one that worked best for us.
Anon says
Our good friend had a vasectomy (and told us about it during a hilarious drunken conversation) and I believe it is only one month you have to wait after the procedure. They tested him after a month to make sure it worked and then gave him the green light.
Anon says
My husband had his initial appointment and then the vasectomy a week later. We had to use a back-up method for a couple of months while the alive sperm die off or something like that. After a few months he took a sample back to the dr and the dr confirmed no more live sperm. I had an IUD in and we timed the vasectomy so that it was completely done around the time I needed to have my IUD removed. If we hadn’t have done that I would have just used condoms in the meantime. A few months is not bad in the long run.
Betty says
Just went through this. Initial consult followed by a procedure appointment. Doc recommended husband be off his feet for a day or two, which my husband ignored and was fine (sore, but fine). Its 8-12 weeks following the procedure that you need to use back-up.
My unsolicited advice: Be very sure that you are done. It can be reversed, but the reversal is not covered by insurance and is rather expensive.
Pogo says
If used corrective, condoms are very effective. Totally not silly!
Anonymous says
Super late but in case you are following…just went through this because after 4 years of relying on c n d ms we had a stupid moment (what are we teenagers?) and a year later here we are w baby #3.
So this finally convinced DH to get the v. In theory the amount of time matters less than the number of ej cu la tions and he is supposed to go in w a fresh sample after at least 10 to confirm no more swimmers. Once that test comes back positive no need for backup. Apparently most guys never go back to get that clearance though.
Ymmv but if you are really done the v is awesome. I hate hormonal bc and relying on the cnd ms that DH hated honestly meant we did less gardening than I would have liked during those years.
AnonMN says
Another Threenager commiseration post, seriously, what it is with 3 year olds?? Our daycare has cameras and I just wached my son hit his classmate with a train track, get a warning, hit her again, then go to sit in a time-out. His teacher had to physically remove his ragey three year old self and then hold him in the chair, where my son then SMACKED HIM IN THE FACE. His teacher was totally calm cool and collected; let him calm himself down, then sent him off to play.
He’s been showing these behaviors at home too (ragey tantrums, hitting).
This is totally normal right? Or should we look into it further?
TBK says
I would ask the teacher. It seems like s/he is fairly cool-headed and has lots of experience with this age group. You can get a sense of whether the behavior is normal or a bit off, and can find out what seems to work in the classroom and consider reinforcing the same discipline at home.
anon says
I would also ask the teacher, but it doesn’t sound all that abnormal for a three year old to me…
mascot says
+1. Little kids can be real jerks at times.
Betty says
Version of frequently heard commentary in our house:
Parent who did not deal with 3 year old’s latest meltdown over the fact that her favorite puddle froze overnight and took it out by hitting parent: “Are you ok?”
Parent who was hit, rubbing shin: “Yeah, [3 year old] is just an A$$hole right now.”
Famouscait says
May favorite part of this is that your kiddo has a “favorite puddle”. =)