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Anon says
Warning: pregnancy loss.
Any tips for making it to my first ultrasound (which will be at 8 weeks) when I’m half convinced there is either no baby or something wrong with it? The daily grind of early pregnancy after a previous miscarriage is so hard (last time the 8 week ultrasound went great, but I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks that showed the embryo made it only to 8w4d). I just wish I could get a daily alert from my uterus that things are okay.
Anon says
I reminded myself: today, I am pregnant. There’s nothing I can control about this, but today I am pregnant, and my sweet baby is here inside me. When my nausea hit, just before 6 weeks, that was another reassuring sign. It was still nerve-wracking, but the weeks passed by taking it one day at a time.
Anon says
But the absence of nausea is not concerning. I never had any with either of my healthy pregnancies, and have several friends with the same story. Just mentioning because it stressed me out a little to read comments about how nausea was reassuring.
Anon says
OP here and I’m in that unfortunate phase of over-interpreting any hint of queasiness as a “good sign” even though I know the lack of nausea doesn’t guarantee a bad outcome. Seriously, this sucks!!
Anon says
Have you gone in for a blood draw? The hard numbers may help ease your mine. I had a draw at like 10 dpo and it was 45, and then 8 days later it was 4325. So even though I didn’t have nausea at first, it was reassuring that my doubling rate was fantastic and my progesterone was high. And then I tried to remind myself to enjoy the sickness free days. Because when it did finally hit, it hit hard. Again, not every woman has nausea! But based on my past pregnancies, it is normal for me.
I bet your OB would do a blood draw for you now, given your history, if you ask. You also may be able to order it yourself through Quest.
(But if the numbers would be another thing to worry about, don’t do it!!)
DLC says
Oh hugs. I’ve been there several times. I think what helped me was reminding myself that I had no control over whatever happened. Pregnancy is such a crapshoot – sometimes the cells just decide, “Nope, this fetus thing isn’t for me.” So as hard as it was, I embraced a sense of sang froid, tried to detach myself from the whole process, and let my body do its thing.
Anon says
It’s really hard. I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks and I was so convinced I’d lose my next pregnancy that I avoided getting prenatal care until I was 9-10 weeks along. I’m 35 weeks now and still have a hard time being excited. I’m taking Prozac now, which helps, but I wish I’d done it earlier.
Anon says
Hugs, from someone who had a miscarriage at 11 weeks (which I found out about at the ultrasound with no other warning – I was nauseous, so don’t read into that either way) and is now trying again. I have definite ultrasound ptsd and am really dreading the next one even though I’m not pregnant yet. I’ve been in therapy since the miscarriage and just really working on accepting that I can’t control this and need to put faith in the process and just live with the fear. Sending happy and healthy pregnancy vibes to you.
Anon says
Thanks all who responded. I feel bad that so many of you have also gone through this but I have to say, it does help me feel less isolated.
Same Boat says
Currently in the same boat. I have my first ultrasound tomorrow at 6 weeks – doctor wanted to see me before the holidays to make sure everything is in the right place. And while I‘m very nervous for tomorrow, I also know that the fear will continue until at least the next appointment around 9 or 10 weeks. Only if everything looks good will I be able to relax somewhat. My last pregnancy was a missed miscarriage diagnosed at 8 weeks. I almost don‘t want to think ahead but at the same time I am trying to come up with some planning for my team next year and can‘t help but think about when I‘ll be out. Sorry, I don‘t have any advice about how to make this easier, just commiseration.
Anon says
Good luck!!
Anonymous says
I’m late but I will chime in to say I’ve had four pregnancies and two babies. The MCs were between my kids and it was so, so, so hard to let myself be excited for what turned out to be my daughter. Take it one day at a time, and know you’ve got internet strangers thinking good things for you!
AwayEmily says
This morning on our way to school the 5yo and 7yo started competing to see who could yell out the time first when the dashboard clock changed each minute. And I’m not talking “friendly competition.” There were tears, accusations of cheating, escalation. Sometimes I honestly feel like they are trolling me by trying to find the literal dumbest things to argue about. Although in some ways I like it when it’s so deeply stupid because it’s easier to completely ignore them and carry on imagining the quiet cup of coffee I will drink when I get home.
Anon says
Haha I see how this was very annoying in the moment, but it made me laugh:)
Anonymous says
When I was in college my mother found one of her calendars from when my brothers and I were little, and the poor woman used to write down who got to sit up front, who had to take the first bath, who got to scrape the dregs out of the ice cream container, who got to open the advent calendar, etc. because we bickered about every single thing. My older brother is only 17 months older so we were intense.
Anonymous says
I remember that once we were both old enough to sit in the front seat my sister and I had to trade off!
Lyssa says
My mom loves to remind us about the time(s?) that I complained that my brother was looking out my window in the car.
Anon says
Talk to me about how to deal (emotionally) when you and your partner are not on the same page on number of kids.
We have one from my first marriage, and my partner is an amazing stepdad. Earlier in our relationship, we both thought that we would try to have another one. But now partner decided that he does not want any more kids, just at the time that I got really really excited to start trying. I’m not going to try to convince him otherwise — both parties should be enthusiastically on board IMO — but I am frankly heartbroken at the idea of not having one more. And he knows this and as a result is halfheartedly saying, well maybe I’m coming around to it… but it’s the opposite of helpful because it gets my hopes up but I can tell it’s only because he loves me and not because he actually wants to do this. So in addition to being heartbroken, I feel like I can’t talk to him about my feelings because then it feels like I’m pressuring him. I don’t feel comfortable talking to any of my friends about this, and my therapist just quit and I haven’t found another one yet. Every time I see a baby (multiple times a day) or talk to a pregnant friend (I have a few), I just want to cry. Is this going to get better at some point? I’m 39, so there’s not much time for us to think about it — it’s either we start trying now or we’re done, and it seems like we’re done.
Anon says
Maybe I’m an outlier, but I think it’s okay to try to convince (and even “pressure” to an extent). But I also don’t subscribe to the notion that the person who wants fewer kids should automatically win. This is something you badly want, this is your one precious life, too, and it is okay to let your partner know that this is critically important to you. You can also try to get a read on what exactly he is nervous about, and maybe there are ways to plan for or reframe those elements.
And if you are a spiritual person, pray. (If not, skip this.) I was in a situation of wanting another and my husband being firmly done. I prayed hard, for a long time, that one of us would have a genuine change of heart. We had yet another conversation about it, and he said he didn’t think he could ever get there. Then, one week later, he sat down and said he has no idea how it happened, but he is starting to come around, and since it’s clearly important to me he is open to trying again. I don’t really know that it was the prayer, or my “convincing” but I am glad I did both. We are expecting again and are both on board. The baby/young child years are so short in the overall picture of a life.
AwayEmily says
I kind of agree. I think if your partner was like “ABSOLUTELY not, I feel VERY strongly about this” then yes, it’s probably not worth further discussion. But it seems like he is somewhat on the fence — which means to my mind it’s worth continuing to talk through — not in a “I am trying to convince you” way but in a “let’s talk through your worries/concerns” way.
I was a bit more pro a third kid than my husband, and one of the things that really got him on board was talking through how to make the first year (which TBH neither of us really like) less stressful. For example: with the first two, we split night duties, and he struggled a lot with the lack of sleep. So for our third we decided I would sleep in the guest room with the baby for the first few months, and in exchange he would be 100% on big kid duty during the day. Anyway, I don’t know what your husband’s reservations are and I’m sure some of them aren’t “solvable” but some of them might be and they are worth discussing further.
Anon says
As always, I agree with you AwayEmily. I wanted a third more than my husband, and I really felt deeply like someone was missing from our family. He ultimately felt that my feeling of deep regret at not having one more was more harmful than his not wanting one more. We did have the same conversations around responsibilities — we hired a night nurse and I had downshifted my job, so was able to take on more responsibility when the 3rd was a baby. In full honesty, when things are really chaotic, I sometimes feel a little guilty that life would be much calmer without three kids, which he prefers calmness (at least at the age of our kids – the older two are 7 and 9, so we would be at a pretty easy phase if we didn’t have a 2.5 year old running around). But he said he would have had similar feelings of being a little guilty knowing that I really felt like I wanted one more. In other words, he landed on knowing that the chaos goes away, the deep regret would not.
It’s different because my husband was already a father and knew what he was getting himself into, but I also take issue with your husband being on board with having a child – then just changing his mind after you all are married and your time to have another is limited. Seems like a cruel thing to do to a person you love.
Anon says
“The chaos goes away, the deep regret would not.”
This nails it. And it takes a lot of empathy and compassion for the partner to be able to understand that…but I think you can ask for that attempt, in a loving marriage.
Anonymous says
On the other hand, if I’d given in and agreed to have a second child, the deep regret over having that child and wrecking our lives would never have gone away. I am not sure our marriage, or I, would have survived that.
Anon says
@12:33 – I get that, completely, and if my husband was an “absolutely not; it’s our marriage or this child,” we would not have had a 3rd. But his position was that our lives were fine with 2, another child would be more money and more upheaval, but ultimately, those things are circumstantial and go away, but deep regret would not. I also stand by my feeling that it’s cruel to marry someone knowing that they are nearing the end of their childbearing years agreeing to have kids, then changing your mind when the window is closing after marriage.
Anon says
I don’t think it’s “cruel” to change your mind about kids. External factors really affect what you can handle, and realizing you don’t have capacity for more after having one, or realizing you don’t have the capacity for a child because of eldercare responsibilities isn’t unreasonable. It is still heartbreaking for the spouse who wants a(n additional) child, I’m not trying to minimize that, but it doesn’t make the partner saying no to more kids cruel.
Spirograph says
I also agree it’s OK to try to convince, or at least very thoroughly talk through his concerns to see if they’re solve-able. I strongly wanted a third, my husband was on the fence leaning no but after a lot of discussion we compromised: yes, to third kid, on the condition that I pause on going back to school for a big career change. Neither of us has any regrets (I don’t like my field any better than I did 8 years ago, but I love my son much more than I dislike my job). I would have been happy to have a fourth, too, but at that point DH was like “ABSOLUTELY not, I feel VERY strongly about this” and I let it go.
Anonymous says
Trying to convince a man to have his first child with you is much different from trying to convince a husband who already has at least one child to have another, though. If this is an unmarried partnership or a remarriage, he may be resistant to parenthood because he is not certain about the long-term viability of the relationship. It is not a good idea to conceive a child with someone who does not intend to remain married until the child is done with college.
Anonymous says
Are you married? If not, I would take this as a red flag and seriously re-evaluate the relationship.
OP says
We are married; second marriage for both of us. His concerns are valid — that we won’t have as much time for us, that the early years are exhausting, and that it would be stressful in terms of money — he is behind on retirement savings and very worried about that. Also, his parents are doing badly health wise, so he’s feeling overwhelmed with eldercare and at the same time not enthusiastic about being an older parent himself (he’s mid-40s). He says that he loves being a (step)parent and if we didn’t have the one kid we already do, he might feel differently, but he thinks one is enough. All of his concerns are valid, but for me, wanting one more overrides them, and for him it does not.
Anonymous says
Oh, that is really tough because both of your perspectives make a lot of sense. I agree with the advice above to continue discussing your concerns together without pressure and, if you are the praying type, pray over the decision. It might help him to have a change of heart or you to come to a sense of peace with having only one child.
FWIW, I was the one who refused to have a second child. It took my husband several years, but eventually he came to the realization that what he’d really wanted was to recreate his own Norman Rockwell childhood. That was never going to be possible no matter how many kids we had, because we didn’t have the same advantages his parents did and we faced many challenges his parents could never even have imagined. One child was the best choice for us given our situation. For him, letting go of the idea of a large family was really about letting go of a whole fantasy life that we never could have achieved. It was difficult but he finally came to accept it and is now content with our little family of three.
AwayEmily says
They are definitely valid concerns — and also worth talking through concretely rather than abstractly. For us, five years of daycare is about $70k in total ($14k per year). How would that impact your retirement savings? Are there other areas you’d be able to save on to make up part of the difference? In terms of the “time for us” — are there ways you can “lock in” that time, or at least make a dual commitment to prioritize it?
Maybe the answer is that another kid *IS* too costly (in terms of money and/or time) but I think often our worries about possible future down sides become less overwhelming when we actually talk them through.
Colorado says
I originally read through the comments and agreed with pushing for it but with this additional context, I would not push this man to have a baby. He’s in the prime of his midlife, presumably knows himself well, and all of his concerns are extremely valid.
Anon says
I agree.
Anon says
In particular don’t underestimate the eldercare piece. That can be as much or more demanding than a baby/toddler and often goes on for much longer.
OP says
OP here, and I agree that I should not push and that his concerns are totally valid. Which is why I’m just asking advice on dealing with the feelings I have about it.
Anon says
I also agree.
Anon says
Agreed. OP I feel for you. Wanting a child and not having one is terribly painful. I think you need to give yourself time and space to feel sad – it’s like grieving the loss of an idea for your life that you had. That Ghost Ships article is good at times like these.
Anon says
How long have you guys been married? I have two stepchildren, one with my husband, and another on the way. It was hard to think about adding a new baby when our marriage itself felt new – we did it, bc my age was an issue (I was 39 when our first was born), but we both had a lot of anxiety about it.
Anon says
I think it depends on how much he contributes. My best friend has a deadbeat husband whom she cajoled into a second kid (due any day now) and I’m worried for how it’s going to go for them, but I’ve heard of other cases where the husband is not a deadbeat and it seems like life goes on. How much does he contribute around the house and to the mental labor of having a child?
Anon says
I think it’s worse to pressure him into a second if he’s not a deadbeat! Then you’re actually adding work to his plate. I can’t muster up much sympathy for dead beat dads and if mom is doing all the work the decision about kids should be hers alone, but I think if the husband is an equal partner (or close) he deserves say in the decision.
Anon says
Regular poster, but posting Anon. DH was onboard for #2 and then wasn’t. We weren’t actively trying and I got pregnant. It was the among the worst times in my life. I went forward with the pregnancy without any support (and yes, we both thought about divorce – just thinking about those times brings tears to my eyes), it was COVID times, etc. DH and I went through some of the worst times of our marriage through my pregnancy and through Kid #2’s first 1.5 years or so, including the loss of 2 very close family members. Thankfully we were in therapy and it helped…a lot.
Kid #2 was a healthy baby with some (in hindsight) minor issues we had to navigate, and really I felt super alone and as if I couldn’t rely on DH…fortunately I have a “village” of emotional support which saved me through those years. Truly, I am still standing because of those people in my life.
Now Kid #2 is a full on threenager, DH and I are in an awesome place in our marriage, our family feels complete, and he’s a better father than he ever was. But man, the years to get to this, I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Give your DH grace, pray on it (if that’s your thing), and see if y’all can re-evaluate in a few months or 6 months. My big mistake was not being clear on how I felt, and not understanding where he was coming from – I feel like if we had those open, honest conversations, we could have avoided a lot of heartache and pain.
Anonymous says
This seems like a situation that would benefit from some marriage counseling and/or you need to find a new therapist ASAP. You both need a safe way to communicate very openly about how you feel. And it may be that you just need to grieve this to move on. I’m so sorry you are in this difficult place.
Now that I am getting caught up in eldercare myself, I have especially deep empathy for him – it is hard to imagine how overwhelming it is until you are in it. And being in my late 40s and seeing my parents start to decline is also making me face my own aging and see how my health and abilities will decline over time much more than I could in my 30s. Your age difference is similar to mine and my husband’s, so I know it isn’t huge, but you are in a slightly different place than him right now.
Anonymous says
OP, since you asked for help on how to deal with this emotionally, it sounds like a large part of what you’re going through is grieving a loss. What you’re losing is genuine and multi-faceted, and it’s normal to grieve that. Grieving any loss happens over time, shows up in unexpected ways, and eases over time. I’m not going to list the different ways to press into that grieving and allow it to happen, because it’s the week before Christmas and this isn’t the week to dive deeply into grieving. But just know that the loss and sorrow is normal, that it’s going to need time and expression, and that it will change shape and ease over time.
Anonymous says
Exactly this–you are grieving a loss. The loss probably isn’t just the idea of having another child. It’s tied up in all the other circumstances of your life that didn’t turn out how you might have wished but that make this a very logical decision. It’s okay to be sad and to grieve even if you are making the decision that’s right for you and your family.
Betsy says
You said that you feel like you can’t discuss your feelings with him because it would be pressuring him, and I want to push back on that gently. This is your husband, the person who is supposed to be by your side through thick and thin. It might be hard to talk about, and it sounds like you might need to tell him at the outset that you aren’t trying to change his mind but also need his support in navigating this emotionally. But just deciding unilaterally that he can’t handle hearing how you feel doesn’t sound healthy for your marriage in the long term.
Anon says
Slightly different scenario: I had to have an emergency hysterectomy after my 2nd when we weren’t sure we were done. What’s helped me is to completely close the door- no what if’s, no casual conversations about surrogacy. Our family is complete, period. We can talk about our sadness regarding that fact, but it is a fact for us and I’m more comfortable there than with the small amount of uncertainty. I also try to focus on the benefits of our family size. It is hard though and I feel like there will already be a little bit of longing, but not a deep regret.
Anony says
I had a different situation with a similar outcome. We weren’t sure originally how many children we wanted to have, and then medical issues around the birth of our first, now only, pushed us very hard in the direction of one. Having a second wouldn’t technically have been impossible (probably), but it just did not seem like the right decision for the three of us who already existed. I wasn’t unsure about that decision, really, but I also had some really difficult, complicated feelings about it. This wasn’t the main reason I started therapy after a few years, but it’s probably the area where processing in therapy helped me the most. I didn’t really want to talk about it endlessly with my husband – it was too fraught and it made me sad, when at home I really wanted to focus on enjoying our family of three. But the feelings didn’t go away, and having space to process them with my therapist turned out to be invaluable. I would definitely recommend finding someone new to talk to if you can.
Anon says
If you have kids in an in-home daycare, what are you planning for a Christmas gift for the owner? We are new to this daycare & have heard wildly different things from the few other families we’ve asked. I’m worried about either giving way too much or offensively too little. Would love an outside perspective. We’re in a MCOL city.
Anonymous says
Ours was technically in-home but that was just the form of license; there were multiple caregivers. We generally gave the equivalent of a week’s fee divided among them. As my husband once pointed out, it is hard to be too generous with people taking care of your kid.
Anon says
I give one weeks pay as a Christmas gift. We adore our dayhome provider and this feels right for us. We also give her a card thanking her for her support, kindness and generosity throughout the year and detail how and why our kids love her so much
Anon says
OP here – these responses are super helpful. Such a good point that it is difficult to be too generous. I was definitely overthinking this. Thank you!
Anon says
OP here – These responses are super helpful. It’s a really good point that it’s hard to be too generous. I was definitely overthinking this. Thank you!
Anon says
I posted yesterday and didn’t get any comments, so trying again. Do any of you financially savvy people have insights into expected 529 growth? It seems like our (state run) 529 account is vastly underperforming our retirement accounts. I guess this makes some sense since it would be more conservatively invested since we need the money sooner, but the growth seems really small to me – unless I’m doing the math wrong it’s only grown about 10% since early 2020, excluding contributions.
Spirograph says
You’re right that 10% since early 2020 is underperforming the market overall. How is it invested? I’m in a state run 529, but still have several fund options. If you are able to choose your investments, consider rebalancing… It may have defaulted to a target date allocation that is more conservative than you would have chosen.
Personally, I’m comfortable with 100% of the closest approximation of total market index until about 3rd grade, and then start mixing in more bonds incrementally (figuring my time horizon is 3 years past HS graduation), but that’s a lot more growth-oriented than the target date funds tend to be.
Anon says
Thanks, I think this is probably the issue. I had both 529 & retirement set to target date investment, but it seems like the 529 has way more bonds than I would have expected at this age (our only child is in K, so we have a minimum of 12.5 years before we’d use the money). I will move it to something more aggressive.
Spirograph says
Just a note that if you are going to deviate from the target date fund, I’d pull ALL the money out of target date. You will have to remember to rebalance every year or so, but it’s much easier to see your overall asset allocation and keep it in line with your goals and risk tolerance.
Momofthree’s point below about fees is a good one, too. Last I checked, my target date option has higher fees than many of the others.
Anon says
Thanks, yeah I moved all of it. The “expense ratio” is the fee, right? There’s not a huge difference between the index fund option and the target date option (0.16 vs 0.20), but the index fund is slightly lower. It seems like there are no flat fees since we are state residents.
Anonymous says
Are you comparing apples to apples? Did you contribute one lump sum in 2020 or are you contributing individual amounts?
Momofthree says
Have you looked at the fees associated with the account? Some times the fund manager may be taking a more significant share of the gains/ value or their expense ratio may be higher than average.
Your 529 plan should produce an annual statement comparing their performance to the market (I believe) so could be worthwhile trying to track that down.
The other thing to remember (and I may not be explaining this correctly) but growth will only accrue on the amount in the account, so if you put 30k in over the past 3 years, only 10k would have benefitted from 3 years of growth while the money you put in this year wouldn’t have seen much growth yet.
Anonymous says
I just took a look.
For our 529 in Fidelity (state of MA) it has a 1-year return of 6.17% vs the S&P which is 13.84%. This is my current 2nd grader’s.
It’s up 18% overall but that’s not really informative as we’ve contributed to it for the past 3-4 years at different rates.
My other two are in Utah’s plan and up 16% and 19% YTD. Interestingly the one up 19% is for my kindergartener so I’m assuming more stock heavy? The 16% is my 4th grader.
Anon says
Just a vent. I’m one of the two class moms for my daughter’s kindergarten class. People were supposed to sign up to bring things for the class winter party with clear instructions to keep everything winter themed and not for a specific holiday…well one person brought Christmas themed bingo, another Santa Clause cookies to decorate etc. is it so hard to follow instructions?!?
Anonymous says
Here’s how I feel about class moms assigning people to bring in stuff for a party–if you are going to police the contributions, you need to do it all yourself. Or just don’t have a party.
Anon NYC says
I mostly agree with this. As an alternative, you could ask everyone to contribute $$ and then buy all the supplies yourself.
Anonymous says
I’m also a room parent and have been for many years (3 kids!). Let it go. People are doing their best. I don’t like it but I appreciate that they are doing something. And the rest of the people followed instructions!
Anon says
Yeah, I mostly agree. I do sympathize with the constant Christmas stuff this time of year (I’m the poster with the Jewish kid who was sad about aftercare having “Christmas week”) but I also try to assume good intentions for the most part. We are actually bringing Christmas tree plates to our class’s “winter party,” because I delegated this task to my husband and he said these were the only winter plates in the store. If it were me, I would probably have bought generic non-winter plates over the Christmas tree plates, but I also don’t care enough to return them because that’s 30+ minutes I really don’t have at this time of year.
I will also say that I think a lot of Christmas-celebrating people don’t see Santa and trees as “Christian,” because they have little or nothing to do with the religious celebration of the holiday. I totally understand why you feel differently – I do too, as do most Jews I know – but I also can see why people feel differently, and these families may have just thought they were supposed to avoid the more religious symbols.
Anon says
Yeah – I agree that many people DON’T see Santa, trees, red & green, or the like as “Christmas” AND that many people DO see those things as “Christmas”
Anon says
I was at the store today and all the candy has switched over to Valentines themed. On Dec 20. So I believe your husband! It’s slim pickings out there for any holiday stuff
Anon says
If this was a hw assignment for school, the kids would fail…why can’t the parents be held to the same standard
Anon says
Because kids have to do homework, but parents are going above and beyond by offering to contribute to class parties? This analogy doesn’t track for me at all (even if you assume a kid would “fail” for bringing in something that didn’t follow the instructions perfectly, which I don’t think is the case…)
Anon says
Fail, as in kick the kid out of school? Seems a bit harsh.
Anonymous says
Our school doesn’t allow anything Halloween in theme (pumpkins OK, Jack o lanterns no). As a room parent I just ask people to donate $ and buy it myself. Nobody has time to find the one leaf Pencil for sale in a sea of witches.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry. That’s really frustrating, especially considering you’re volunteering your own free time to organize something special for everyone else’s kids. The winter theme should be easily understood and easy to execute at this point.
Anon says
Yep, our class chats around holiday parties are always “we’ll only have trees and Santa” and “it’s a spring party, not Easter, so nothing religious, just bunnies and eggs”. There’s probably a combination of not having time to care and not realizing that Santa is a symbol of Christmas, not just December.
Anon says
We live in a community with a lot of immigrants and I really struggled explaining to a Chinese friend why my Jewish family does Halloween and Thanksgiving but not the secular (Santa/trees) parts of Christmas. It got me thinking about how there isn’t really a solid explanation beyond “it doesn’t feel right to us.” We know a lot of non-religious families and Buddhist and Hindu families that adopted secular Christmas traditions as part of assimilating to America. And even among Jewish families, which tend to be the least likely to adopt Christmas traditions, it’s not unheard of to have a Christmas tree/Hanukkah bush, or to take kids to see Santa. We don’t celebrate Christmas and Easter at home but we take our kids to community egg hunts because they love it and it’s a fun social thing to do. So it’s hard for me to fault people who are confused about what “counts” as a Christmas or Easter symbol, because unless you’re talking about a Nativity scene or something like that it does get pretty blurry.
Sara says
What shoes are people wearing with c0cktail dresses to winter weddings this year? I’ve been out of the game too long.
Cb says
We are staying at the airport hotel for an early flight tomorrow. My husband had a work thing so it’s just me and kiddo until he arrives, and kid is crashed out on my shoulder, snoring away… not sure how I’m going to move my 50lb child?
Should I worry about his snoring? It’s quite loud but maybe just seasonal sniffles.
Anon says
My daughter always snores loudly when she has any kind of congestion or sniffles. Falling asleep in weird positions can increase snoring too. I don’t think it’s a big deal.