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The avalanche of toys is coming — tame the chaos with this simple toy organizer.
This shelf has angled bins so kids can find what they want to (hopefully) clean up after themselves. There are nine bins (six smaller ones and three larger ones) that you can rearrange to suit your needs. Each shelf can hold up to 20 pounds, and the top shelf is perfect for books.
I especially like the simple finish that will work throughout the house long after the kids have outgrown Santa.
This toy organizer with shelf is under $75 at Amazon.
P.S. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!
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Lil says
Great pick. I love the shelf on top! Unfortunately it looks like the link is broken or Staples sold out. Walmart has a similar product though.
Kate says
Thanks for noticing that! Looks like it’s sold out. Will replace!
Anonymous says
What’s your script when your kid comes home and tells you about a classmate’s bad behavior? My kindergartner has been telling me every day about a classmate who calls other kids “babyish”, including an incident where he made fun of a girl on her birthday for her birthday book (every kid gets to bring in a book on their birthday). I want to make clear that the classmate’s behavior is unkind, but without badmouthing the classmate or labeling him a bad kid. What’s the best way to communicate this in a way that a 5yo can understand?
Anon says
Ask questions- how do you think that made the other kids feel etc? And- why do you think he might be doing that? Let your kid conclude that the behavior is unkind rather than you just telling him
Anon says
+1. I also got a lot of mileage at that age from helping a kid realize that a lot of times, kids call other kids a name because someone called the name-caller that name. So, I did a lot of “wonder” questions — “Hmmm, I wonder if someone called Kid that name, and it made him sad?” or “I wonder where Kid learned to call someone that name.”
anon says
Sometimes it helps to point out the silliness of the comments. Like, “Well, that’s a silly thing to say. I don’t think there are any babies in kindergarten. There’s a requirement that everyone is at least 5 yo.” You could also add “It’s okay to like all kinds of books. Sometimes books from when you were smaller have lots of good memories. Do you have any favorite books from when you were smaller?”
An.On. says
Doesn’t answer your question at all, but you might find the Shirley Jackson memoir bit “Charles” – about a similarly poorly behaved child in her son’s kindergarten classroom – amusing.
Anon says
I just say “that wasn’t a very kind thing to say.” I think labeling behavior is different than labeling a person and I have no problem doing the former. I also don’t hesitate to label my own kid’s bad behavior, but again refrain from labeling her.
Anon says
This is kind of a follow up to yesterday’s brief discussion as to whether Santa, red/green, trees, ornaments etc signify Christmas. I realize this has been going on forever and that majority of the people in this country celebrate Christmas (myself included), but our society in recent years has focused a lot on being inclusive- using inclusive language, making sure different races are represented etc but why doesn’t that extend to religion/religious related ethnicities? I was at my kid’s school for a party this week and it was ‘wear your holiday sweater day’ and almost all of the kids and teachers were in red/green with typical Christmas stuff on their shirts, there were a handful of kids in blue for Hanukkah who stuck out like a sore thumb and some kids not dressed up for the day bc they forgot or perhaps sweaters for their holiday don’t exist. My daughter’s bestie this year is Jewish and so my daughter is actually the one who commented on this to me. But it got me thinking that really none of this belongs in public schools and it just seems like a whole category of diversity is being ignored. Thoughts?
AwayEmily says
Personally I’d be fine if we completely dropped all holiday celebrations from school (including not explicitly religious ones). That’s what our kids’ daycare did and it was lovely. No Halloween, no Valentines, no Christmas, no theme days.
There are plenty of non-holiday-related ways to do fun stuff in school. It just seems to introduce a lot of extra hassle for parents and teachers alike, even setting aside the issues you mentioned.
Anonymous says
This is how our district does things. Valentines is the one hold out but I think they call it “friendship day” and it’s pretty minimal. There was an uproar about it but halloween is gone- they celebrate fall but no ghosts, witches, jack-o-lanterns etc. Mother’s day and Father’s day are out too.
Anon says
This is an interesting comment, looking forward to the discussion. From a diversity perspective, a couple things pop to mind:
– If we get rid of representing different holidays and make everything generic winter, that eliminates diversity (kind of like “I don’t see color”)
– Holiday celebrations/religions can be changed and chosen, so it’s a little different than color of skin, etc. Plus, many people culturally celebrate Christmas without any bit of the religious component. And Christmas is a MAJOR Christian holiday, whereas Hanukkah is not the same…maybe the answer is incorporating learning about major holidays across cultures, throughout the year?
I don’t disagree that this may not have a place in public schools, and that Christmas is vastly over-represented, but from a diversity perspective, leaning about more holidays, and having kids wear more sweaters that represent them, is the direction you’d go in
Anonymous says
So I’m from the majority and may not have insight here, but my kids’ private daycare celebrates everything. We’re in an upscale but very diverse area of Southern California. Yes, the parents club pays for Santa to visit, so we are Christmas focused at the end of the day. However, there are weeks and celebrations for Diwali, Kwanza, Lunar New Year, Hanukkah (the gelt has almost converted my daughter), Dia de los Muertos, Eid al-Fitr etc. The daycare has displays and themes for each heritage month. I find myself learning things and my daughter’s classroom is not majority caucasian although it is majority Christmas (probably mostly secular).
In public school, I don’t mind celebrating traditions, especially from a secular lens (Christmas tress vs nativity). I think older children should learn about world traditions and cultural diversity as an academic exercise. I can also imagine that different parts of the country have actual religion in the curriculum to different degrees that’s not appropriate.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Speaking as someone who is not religious and was not raised in any religion, to me, Christmas celebrations are more secular and are about the tree, Santa, the gifts (aka the consumerism). I’m sure not everyone agrees, but I don’t see this as promoting Christianity. Similar to Easter evolving to bunnies and chocolate. With a big caveat that I am not part of a minority religion and thus don’t feel excluded for being non-religious.
Anon says
I definitely understand the feeling that bunnies and chocolate are part of a secular Easter, but my issue with them is that even when school has a non-religious Easter party, it still makes my kids come home and ask why everyone else gets to do this super fun holiday with chocolate and baskets of toys and egg hunts and they don’t.
Anonymous says
“Because lots of people are Christian and we aren’t.”
Anon says
Yeah, that’s what we say and they understand that different religions have different traditions and customs, but they don’t get why their fun holidays aren’t also celebrated at school.
Anonymous says
So suggest that the school celebrate those fun holidays too!
Anon says
I get where you are coming from. It is not a fun feeling to feel excluded or not part of something that everyone else is doing.
I grew up as the kid who didn’t celebrate Halloween because my immigrant parents didn’t understand it. They thought it was strange to dress up as ghosts and goblins and forbade me from participating. Everyone dressed up and paraded around school while my parents didn’t let me dress up and so the teachers didn’t know what to do with me and just sat me down in an empty classroom, or once even in the middle of the school library where everyone paraded around me. The few days leading up to Halloween and after were terrible for me as a kid because I didn’t have anything to say about my costume or how much candy I got.
I just share this anecdote because 1) it really sucks to be that kid who feels left out, 2) as a rebuttal to the “Christmas is basically a secular holiday now” (because Halloween is also secular yet I still felt very left out), but 3) I still don’t think the answer is to remove any sort of celebration that could be offensive.
In the end I don’t have an answer to the problem. Just here to share my experience.
Anon says
Yeah, I really appreciate that the class parents this year recognized that there were kids who were not allowed to celebrate Halloween, so there were “fall parties” in early November instead. It really sucks to be the 6-year-old who has to go sit in the guidance counselors office while your other 24 classmates eat treats and play games.
Anon says
Point taken. That is tough. I guess kids would still be talking about it even if it wasn’t celebrated in school, but I see how the parade could be handled differently. Halloween is a weird one because it’s nearly completely secular, and yet perhaps the most problematic of all for deeply religious people with reservations
Anonymous says
If your religion doesn’t allow your child to be around a Halloween celebration, perhaps you need to homeschool. Halloween is a secular American cultural holiday. I can’t think of another country in the world that doesn’t allow its own secular cultural celebrations in schools. What’s next–banning MLK Day because it’s “divisive”?
Anon says
I happened to be in school on Nov. 1 and our K teacher had the kids draw a picture of their Halloween costume and there were two kids who said they didn’t celebrate Halloween and the teacher was like “uh, ok I guess you can draw a picture of whatever you did last night instead of trick-or-treating.” I really got the vibe she thought they were super weird for not celebrating, and I thought the whole thing was pretty awful. As a Jewish person who is used to secular Christmas celebrations in schools and workplaces, I have no problem with a teacher saying “happy Halloween” or handing out jack-o-lantern cookies, but this seemed unnecessarily exclusionary. (Fwiw some very devout Jews don’t celebrate Halloween – my cousins don’t!)
Anon says
Anon at 12:11, Halloween is not completely secular. It has Pagan and Christian origins. Orthodox and some Conservative Jews don’t celebrate it for that reason, although (unlike Christmas) the majority of American Jews do celebrate Halloween and the more liberal Reform branch of Judaism is officially ok with it. But I definitely do not consider it a fully secular holiday even though we celebrate it.
Anon says
This goes both ways though – my Jewish kid has a lot of classmates who are super jealous they don’t get to do Hanukkah. I mean it’s 8 nights of presents, who wouldn’t be jealous!? lol.
I don’t see this as a problem unless the only holidays being talked about are the Christian ones. My kid’s class has talked about mid-autumn festival and Diwali this fall, in addition to Christmas and Hanukkah, and I think it’s great.
Anonymous says
Yeah, in kindergarten and first grade I was envious of the kids who got the Hanukkah coloring sheet instead of the Christmas coloring sheet because Hanukkah was played up as the more interesting, unique, special holiday. Then there were the kids who got both because they had one Jewish parent and one Christian parent; they were the most special kids of all.
Bette says
People who think that Christmas is a secular holiday are those that comes from a Christian faith background.
It’s like white people saying they “don’t see race” because race they’ve never been in the minority and therefore never had to address race.
My company had a “ugly holiday sweater party” and as a jew, I wore a hanukkah sweater (that i had to purchase for this event). I’m proud of being jewish, but i didn;t want to spend my night talking about the Hamas terror attacks with people who were surprised I was jewish.
Anon says
“People who think that Christmas is a secular holiday are those that comes from a Christian faith background.”
That’s actually not true, in my experience. I live in an area with a lot of immigrants, and many people who come from non-religious backgrounds or other faith backgrounds (Buddhist, Hindu, etc.), do secular Christmas because they see it as an American thing like Halloween and Thanksgiving, not a Christian thing. My closest friends are all Asian-Amercians who were born here, and are not from a Christian background by any definition (i.e., it’s not just that they don’t go to church themselves – they don’t have any Christians in their family no matter how far back you go in history) and they all do secular Christmas because it was adopted by their parents or grandparents when they immigrated to America. I’m Jewish and in my experience it is primarily a Jewish thing to see the more secular Christmas symbols as “Christian” and conflicting with other faiths.
Bette says
I agree that there are some that see Xmas as a secular holiday, but I would say that is far from the dominant opinion.
Bette says
Also, real curious question- does your family anon 12:09 celebrate secular Xmas?
Anon says
Nope, my husband and I are both ethnically Jewish (though not very religious) and we don’t celebrate Christmas. The only families I know personally who don’t do Christmas at all are Jewish. We know tons of families from non-Christian faiths who have a Christmas tree, even if it’s not the big deal to them that it is to people from the Christian tradition. I think some of it may be related to what your religion says about observing other holidays? I know halacha prohibits observant Jews from observing other religion’s holidays and I’m not sure other religions have the same rule? I don’t know enough about them.
Bette says
I wonder if this is also regional within?
I was talking to some colleagues in the South last week and they were suggesting that i celebrate Xmas in a secular way (in a very friendly convo.)
I’ve predominantly lived in the northeast/upper midwest and it’s not a thing that i’ve encountered much. I’m jewish obvi, and i’ve lived in communities where there have been large hindu communities (middlesex nj) and large muslim communities (detroit suburbs) and it just never struck me in those areas that there were like large populations of non-christians celebrating Xmas?
Anon says
Perhaps – I grew up in and currently live in the Midwest, but many of my close non-Christian friends who do secular Christmas are in Mass. and California.
Anon says
I get what you’re saying, but I really don’t agree that none of this belongs in public school. Public school is where most kids spend most of their lives -it’s not reasonable to expect that they won’t reflect the dominant culture. Kids don’t go to elementary school just to be little robots where they leave everything else in their lives at the door. I’m not sure how that doesn’t amount to an answer that says “the existence of a few people who are different means that everyone is now not able to do these fun things.” I don’t think that’s the society we need or want.
Better to embrace the fact that some people do things differently, (and sometimes you’re going to be the person who isn’t following the prevailing norm), and that’s OK. Celebrate and learn from those differences, rather than trying to hide them.
Anonymous says
Agreed
Anonymous says
I think it’s very clear from your comment that you are part of the prevailing norm.
anon says
I think there’s a wide range, though. You can have winter/holiday classroom parties that have Santa plates and snowflake napkins and snowman crafts and that’s not perfect, but not awful, but I have been in situations where parents are very adamant that the job of the public school system is to help their child celebrate holidays and therefore it must be a Christmas party or else, because their kid needs to feel like they’re celebrating Christmas at school.
AwayEmily says
I’m all for (1) having fun and (2) learning about differences, and I think both have a place in school. I just think there are better ways to do both than through holiday celebrations.
For the having fun part — throw a big fall party! Celebrate “Kindness Day” where everyone does something nice for each other! Have a musical celebration!
For the “learning about differences” part — teach about world religions in class! Have presentations from groups representing different cultures!
Anon says
Agreed.
Anon NYC says
Agreed.
Anonymous says
Apologies if this posts twice, but I agree as well. I think our elementary school does a good job- themes this week were fun sweater, winter characters (so many Elsas walking around), flannel, and PJ day. Yes there was a lot of Christmas stuff mixed in because that’s the majority celebration in our very diverse area. Celebrations are fun! School should be fun! Some religions don’t celebrate birthdays; should we take birthday celebrations out of school too?
Anonymous says
That’s not how schools present it though. I was wildly wildly uncomfortable being forced to sing Christmas carols at school or make Christmas themed crafts (or event St Patrick’s Day crafts which … why is that even a thing in school??). It’s not “let’s learn about this cultural tradition.”
The othering was so extreme we are sending our kids to Jewish school. And I say this as someone whose undergrad major was comparative religion so it’s not like I don’t think we should be learning about different religions.
Anonymous says
As a music major I find this an interesting take. I am deeply opposed to the Catholic church but I have sung so many masses that I’ve lost count. I’ve also sung sacred music in Hebrew. Neither is othering to me even though it comes from a religious tradition that is not mine. It’s all part of our shared musical and cultural heritage.
The answer to exclusion is not to exclude even more. It’s to include more.
Anonymous says
As a kid, one difference was it was mandatory and not something I was choosing to do, and it was in furtherance of a public school Christmas celebration. But just because you (and many people) are comfortable singing other religions’ religious music doesn’t mean everyone is. As a religious adult sure I’ll sing Rudolph along with the radio, but I’m still very uncomfortable singing about the birth of Christ, and I’m definitely not alone in that. As a government run school I really see no reason that people should be required to sing overtly religious songs of any religion.
Anon says
I think the issue is that many/most schools aren’t that inclusive. I know we sang Christmas carols all the time in elementary school. Maybe a throw away “Dreidel Dreidel” was included if we were lucky. Nothing that was meaningful to devout Jews or people from other faiths.
avocado says
This year my daughter’s school choir is required to sing a Hebrew piece in a synagogue during services. This is an annual tradition that many of the girls and parents who are Christian find incredibly eye-opening and meaningful. Anonymous at 1:23, would you ban this performance?
Anonymous says
I’m anon at 1:23. Ideally, I don’t think public schools should be doing religious performances of any kind. More realistically, I like to talk about actual better well rounded religious education. I am all for learning about important beliefs and holidays of major religions. However, with Judaism as an example, that doesn’t mean singing one Chanukah song, it might mean learning about the high holidays instead. From your example, just because a song is in Hebrew doesn’t mean much about whether it is religious. In my middle school, they put a random Jewish song (Gesher Tzar Me’od) into a Christmas program and was really bizarre and seemed like someone had just randomly picked a song from a list without any context? I saw someone else note on this thread that different religious do say different things about celebrating holidays from other religions- so I would assume there could easily be people who weee really uncomfortable singing the song you mentioned if that Hebrew song is actually a liturgical song. I don’t think that’s appropriate for a public school necessarily. There are a lot of Hebrew songs that are more like folk songs, which I might equate more to Jingle Bells, and I’d feel differently about that (just like I would sing Jingle Bells but was and am very uncomfortable singing hymns due to my own religious beliefs). And all that said the context is so important- is the school doing actual world religions learning where they are studying liturgical music in context? Or celebrating one religion’s holiday and throwing in other random “representation?”
avocado says
The piece in question has a sacred text and they are singing it as part of a worship service. The school choir director is also the music director at the synagogue. He brings the kids to be part of the worship service for the express purpose of exposing them to a religion and culture that the majority of them do not share, in a red state where there is a lot of prejudice and de facto segregation. To my knowledge no one has ever complained.
This year they’re also performing a mass in a church, but not during a worship service. As a parent I support both of these endeavors, but the mass less so simply because I don’t care for the composer (Rutter) and think it’s a waste of their time to prepare this dreck when there are much better masses they could learn.
Spirograph says
haha I appreciate your strong opinions about Rutter, avocado.
I agree with Anonymous at 1:06 There is so much wonderful sacred choral music (from many traditions, though Christianitythat I appreciate on its musical merits… I don’t really see it through the lens of religion. I don’t shun music in foreign languages or folk traditions that are not my own, and it never occurred to me to shun music from other religions.
Anonymous says
Hard to thread responses here but – for me and others I know, there is a difference between music that specifically has words stating that Jesus is the son of god/savior and general religious or cultural music of other religions. Because of my own beliefs I’m really just not comfortable saying those words and I strongly believe a public school should not be requiring that of any student. There is other music from the Christian tradition that doesn’t bother me as much. This has been a fascinating discussion and it’s been really surprising to see some of these responses!!!
Anonymous says
And as a further follow up as anon at 1:23, a performance choir in my mind could potentially be a different context than “the entire public school class is singing these explicitly religious hymns for a month in music class and then for a Christmas themed performance,” which was my own experience.
Anonymous says
I think in pressing for perfect on this you prompt backlash. It is our culture in this country. It is fun. Is this really the most important thing.
Eek says
Honestly, I tend to agree with this. We can focus on completely removing holidays from schools—which I don’t have a huge problem with personally, but it will create backlash—or we can focus on bigger things. This isn’t the hill I choose at this point, personally.
AwayEmily says
Sure, though the OP’s question was not “are you going to go to the mat for this,” it was “what is your opinion?” I’m on our school’s PTO, and I also think holiday celebrations should be eliminated. But that is not even in the top 50 things on my priority list. My focus is on getting teachers resources, getting kids warm coats, keeping our after-school program afloat, funding field trips, etc etc etc. Maybe once those are all done (ha, as if) I will burn all my capital on my anti-Valentine rampage.
Anonymous says
It isn’t fun for everyone, though.
Anon says
Serious question: what kids wouldn’t have fun playing games and eating cookies, if they happen to be off Santa plates?
I risk sounding obtuse here because clearly we celebrate Christmas, but my son loved painting a dreidel and singing Hanukkah songs and coming home and showing us how to play. They’ve also learned about Kwanzaa recently.
So, is this really an issue of kids not having fun, or parents projecting? (I am open to being told I’m wrong)
Anon says
I too believe that it’s more parent projection. I agree it wouldn’t be fun if the teachers said things like “we’re all going to have Santa come!” or whatever but kids like reindeer, Santa cookies, dreidel crafts, and other holiday traditions.
Anonymous says
I posted above that our school district doesn’t celebrate holidays. They do learn about them though. My kindergartener floored me last night. Looking at the calendar, “Hey mom, if you say ‘Eve’ quickly it sounds like ‘Eid’ which is a different holiday!” She then went on to say she couldn’t quite remember what Eid celebrated, but “I’ll ask [classmate] tomorrow. She celebrates it with her family and can tell me all about.” She also knew a LOT about Hanukah, like the full story. They celebrate winter with snowmen and snowflakes, fall with pumpkins and apples, and spring with flowers and animals.
Anon says
my kid came home sad during the first week of school that they are the only one in their class that doesn’t celebrate Christmas. why that was being discussed in August I’m not sure. yesterday, i was in my other kid’s class for the winter party and one parent asked why there is no Christmas performance. I also maybe don’t know how to explain it, but as someone Jewish, i have zero issue with my kids learning about Christmas, and i in fact LOVE watching hallmark christmas movies, seeing lights, etc. but it does feel very othered to be the one in blue in a sea of red.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 I’m Hindu, and we grew up celebrating Christmas in the secular way because guess what? People were off of work (or at least slower in most cases), it is fun, etc. Also my parents celebrated in India before moving to the U.S. in a very informal, secular way. I was never offended when wished “Merry Christmas” growing up, but I do appreciate the appeal of the more modern “Happy Holidays”. And for one of the holiday dress up days this week at DS #1’s school, it was dress-your-culture and he wore a kurta.
I had a longer post that I wrote and deleted, but this is where I land. It is fun for many/most, you can opt out, and I think there are proverbial bigger fish to fry in early and public education.
Anonymous says
I agree with this. Make the holiday celebrations inclusive. Parents can opt out, and when they do so they need to understand that they and their kids bear the consequences of their parental choices. It’s not fair for those parents to impose their extremist views on the majority of families that want their kids to learn about and enjoy other cultures.
Anon says
So, I have two kids in an Episcopalian school and one in public school (each kid is in the best school fit for them; we are technically Episcopalian but that’s not why we chose the Episcopal school). I will say the kids in the religious school have a way more comprehensive understanding of world religions and customs than my kid in public school. While the Episcopal school has chapel and religion class, there is always a chapel service and a unit in the religion class (and in social studies) about the major holidays and beliefs of the major religions (Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism) as well as any religion or beliefs of any students in the grade. There’s also been shorter lessons on other religions such as Zoroastrianism, Sikhism, Shinto, and Jainism (and maybe a few others I’m forgetting).
I have a high schooler who has been at this school since K and it’s been taught in an age appropriate way at each unit but overall, I’m really, really impressed with her education in not only Christianity but in so many religions.
Also, despite being a Christian school there’s a decent population of Jews, Muslims, and Hindus among both the student body and the teachers. So, in the lower grades the religion is taught “academically” AND with someone’s parent coming in to share their family customs, traditions, and food with the students.
The school does a good job of offering options for students of all backgrounds: holiday parties offer Christmas and non-Christmas options (Hanukkah and also general winter). There are always vegetarian options in the cafeteria for the Hindu students, but also for Catholic students on Fridays in Lent. There’s several non-leavened options during Passover.
Also, I’d say most of the Christian students are not Episcopalian (lots of Catholics, Lutherans, Presbyterians), and of course, its 2023 – there are lots of families that are not observing any religion. I’m also impressed with how much my kids have learned about other Christian traditions.
All this to say – I’m blown away at how the religious school handles other faiths and traditions and it’s heads and shoulders above the public school’s way of handling things.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Again, Hindu here – this is why I’d be OK with an Episcopalian, Jesuit, or similar if we ever went the private school route.
Anonymous says
I think this comment gets to the heart of my concern about holidays in school, which is that public schools don’t actually teach you the holiday. They erase all the God references and secularize something that is not secular. Kids end up with this weird sanitized version of multiculturalism that is not a reflection of people’s actual beliefs or the world outside of school.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I’m curious and asking honestly and respectfully – do you think it’s better to be exposed to a) Some imperfect version of multiculturalism, b) Just generic things like “friendship days”, “Fall days” (could also argue a lot of the country/world doesn’t really have an “autumn” season), etc., or c) just no celebrations all together?
Because for me, again, a Hindu, I prefer (a) all the way. And (a) was not a thing growing up, but I love that it is now.
AwayEmily says
I think this to some extent a false choice. I would *love* for my kids to never again celebrate holidays in school and switch to generic days. I would also love for them to have an entire unit on world religions where they learned in-depth about belief systems and culture. Holidays are not the only pathway to get to what I think is both of our preferred outcomes of learning respectfully about others’ beliefs and cultures.
Anon says
Yeah, I believe to be a good “global citizen” that we all need to have at least a baseline understanding of major religions and cultures, as well as any religions or cultures that are common in our area. It’s really shocking how ignorant some people in my circles are about Judaism (which is very common in our area). I went to a similar school and learned a lot about Judiasm at my Episcopal school. I had several Jewish friends in college and now a coworker of mine is not only Jewish but is a veteran of the IDF – these friends were pleasantly shocked at how much I knew about Judaism (both about the religion itself and about the customs and way that holidays are observed). I really credit my (christian!) school for giving me a great understanding of other religions.
I also thing that ignorance breeds contempt; it’s so easy to hate a group that you don’t understand. It’s so easy to spread falsehoods about a group you don’t understand. I think a LOT of awful things said about Jews, for example, is due to the fact that so few Americans (especially in areas without a large Jewish population) understand the religion and thus resort to lazy, incorrect, and harmful stereotypes. A friend of mine grew up in North Jersey but went to college in the rural Midwest; so many people told her she was the first Jew they met and some asked some really ignorant questions (like asking her if she had horns???).
Anon says
On the other hand, I grew up in the small town Midwest and was the only Jewish person many people had ever met but no one was hateful to me. The most overt anti-semitism I encountered was in college in a major Northeast city where my otherwise progressive group of friends thought it was acceptable to make jokes about Jews being cheap and having big noses, and casually used phrases like “jew-ed me down.” Things are different now with the rise of Trump and MAGA and the hold those toxic views have on rural white Americans, but I found the Midwest very tolerant when I was growing up – and not just to Jews. My home state legalized marriage equality well before it was the law everywhere.
Anon says
this is fantastic and if public schools did this i think it would be great. otherwise, i see no reason to have santa clause in a public school. my daughters each made an ornament in their public school to hang on our Christmas tree and are upset for their friend who does’t have a tree bc “what is she supposed to do with the ornament?” they are in kindergarten so still take directions kind of literally, but i also see their point. why can’t they make something in school that isn’t associated with a christmas tree? that can’t be that hard? as a society we talk a lot about how it is important for kids to see people like them in positions of power and leadership etc. and while i’m not suggesting we need to go around hiring teachers or administrators from every religion/background because that is probably impractical, i do think there is good reason to not do christmassy stuff at school. there is plenty of opportunity and events for us to celebrate christmas outside of schooll
anonM says
Both our public school and preschool/daycare do a pretty good job I think of teaching kids about holiday traditions from various cultures/religions. Ex- our daycare has a fair amount of families that celebrate Diwali, so our whole family has learned a lot about the traditions. I’m sure it is not perfect, but I’m glad my kids are learning about more than just Christmas. The elementary school did an activity where kids could fill out what their family celebrates (any tradition, it was clear it didn’t have to be a religious holiday) and the school displayed many of the responses. I like this approach – not just renaming Christmas Break to Holiday Break but also trying to actively and actually celebrate the fact that families are different and have unique traditions.
Anon says
We’re Jewish in an area where almost everyone celebrates Christmas, and my kid is often the only one wearing blue and white at the holiday parties. We enjoy holiday celebrations and would be disappointed (but understanding) if our school completely eliminated them. Maybe it’s just the age (she’s only 6) but my kid does feel left out by things being called “Christmas party” but isn’t yet fazed by being the only kid in Hanukkah PJs at the holiday party.
Anonymous says
When I was a kid in the ’80s and ’90s, we celebrated all the holidays and cultures in school. Parents would come in throughout the year to teach the class about their family’s holidays and culture. We got to make crafts, learn phrases in different languages, play games, and taste different foods. It was fun and inclusive. I would like to see schools go back to teaching about and celebrating differences, rather than erasing holidays and celebrations that are fun for kids.
That said, I am really sick of the meaningless “celebrations” that are just extra work and hassle for parents and teachers. Instead of “everyone spend hours finding a non-holiday-themed seasonal snack or game that can only involve nut-free gluten-free vegan genderless snow people to send in, and we will waste an hour of instructional time on the party,” incorporate seasonal and holiday themes into instruction. Even my high school teachers and college professors used to do this. We had holiday-themed word problems in high school calculus, we read and discussed “The Gift of the Magi” in high school freshman English, and in one of my college music courses we sight-sang silly Halloween songs instead of our usual material.
Anon says
This.
Anon says
You summed it up for me really well. I was in choir from elementary through high school and I LOVED learning all the different Christmas songs and choral traditions. As a non-Christian/WOC, I never once felt left out because of the holidays – and trust me I have PLENTY of other examples where I was left out, but the holiday season was never one of them.
Leone says
My kids go to an overtly Christian school where close to 100% of the families are devout Christians – and they celebrate NO holidays at school. No Halloween, no Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, nothing.
Because school is for *school* not about observing holidays, and even among devout Christians there is a big range of how families observe holidays (e.g. some Christian families do not participate in Halloween, some celebrate Halloween as a Catholic holiday, some do the “standard” American version… many families observe the Feast of St. Nicholas on Dec. 6 or 19 but not at Christmas, some observe Advent strictly and do not participate in any Christmas-related activities prior to Christmas Eve, some do the “standard” American Christmas celebrations and see any saints’ days and feasts/fasts as idolatry).
I think it is inappropriate and unnecessary to do theme days or holidays in a school setting. Holidays are very individual to a family/culture and holidays often have religious components even if you personally are not religious and think your celebration of them is “secular”. My kids learn about many different religions and cultures in school but in the context of other topics (history, literature, geography…) not as standalone topics.
Anonymous says
You school sounds super sad
Anon says
That’s rude!
anon says
No Thanksgiving sounds extreme?
Leone says
They are off school for it, but don’t do any, like, turkey crafts at school. They learn about Pilgrims, the Wampanoag and Franklin Roosevelt at the appropriate times during history and literature.
Anon says
That seems fine to me…I personally feel like the crafts get really excessive, even for the holidays we celebrate.
Clementine says
I am generally a pretty low key person about this – like, most places my kids have gone have been fairly diverse so attention was paid to lots of holidays with Christmas being not explicitly spoken but more of a ‘year end celebration’ vibe.
For the first time though, I’m actually very annoyed at my kid’s elementary school. A new and trying not to offend anyone so accidentally offending most people administrator in the district declared an aggressive war on any holiday considered ‘offensive’. So my kid gets to learn about and celebrate Diwali, Chinese New Year, Eid, etc….. but Halloween was on absolute lockdown. Think literally books pulled from the library, pumpkins taken off bulletin boards. Similarly, there was a session on Rosh Hashannah and yet… Christmas is such a no-go that the elementary school band couldn’t do an instrumental of ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’.
Our principal is… annoyed. His feeling is that there are so many things that ACTUALLY matter that they should be focusing on instead. Direct quote ‘No Halloween parties? Sure! No issue. Aggressively pulling Witch Switch off the bookshelf because of concerns it was ‘Satanic’? REALLY?’So. My thought is that we should embrace the positive with clear non-punitive options for parents to opt out.
Anonymous says
I find it terrifying that schools are deferring to authoritarian, fundamentalist right-wing “Christian” groups by erasing Halloween. That plays right into the hands of those who seek to undermine the Constitution.
Anon says
That is…not what’s happening? The only people I know who don’t celebrate Halloween are immigrants (like the poster above) and very religious Jews who don’t celebrate because of the Christian/Pagan origins of the holiday. I live in a very red state and the right-wing evangelical Christians here loooove Halloween. No one is trying to erase it from schools. The people who don’t celebrate it just opt out.
Anon says
There are definitely conservative Christians who don’t celebrate Halloween and are very against any outward signs of it. Some because it’s related to paganism and thus is heretical to them and some because it welcomes the “devil” into our world.
Removing Halloween in schools isn’t necessarily due to the influence of these groups on school boards (though it certainly can be), but there’s definitely a population of Evangelicals who are vocally against Halloween.
In 3rd grade there was a Jehovahs Witness girl in my class and my (Jewish) teacher did a good job of making things inclusive for her, but I do remember that it took a lot of work and no matter what, this girl was being othered. For example, on Halloween our teacher gave everyone a themed Halloween pencil, but this girl got a fall themed pencil.
Though, I can only imagine that being a JW in most schools will be “othering”.
Anonymous says
Some groups need to be othered. When I was very young my parents took me to a restorationist church that banned, among other things, the celebration of Christmas and the use of musical instruments. Seeing how out of step this group was with mainstream American society helped to validate my intuition that something wasn’t right about the church at a very young age, and I believe it was part of the reason my mother eventually left the church, in which she herself had been raised.
anonM says
+1 – I know a handful of conservative Christians who don’t celebrate Halloween at all, and of course Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Anon says
What’s stopping the class from having both a Haunkkah presentation / party AND a Christmas presentation / party? Or a presentation on each, with one party that has decorations, activities, and food for each holiday?
anon says
I just wish people would realize how minor Hanukkah is to most Jewish families. its kind of like saying Easter and Pentecost Sunday hold the same value. Its such a minor holiday! Schools never talk about the holidays that actually hold value for the Jewish community (passover, Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah) but have to talk about Hanukkah because it is convenient for those who celebrate Christmas.
Anon says
One of the issues with this plan is that in practice the burden to teach the minority holidays falls on the minority parents, while the teacher teaches about Christmas. It’s kind of frustrating to always have to do the work yourself if you want your holidays included, while the Christian holidays are included by default.
It’s a blurry line – as a Jewish person I sincerely do appreciate the efforts to be inclusive and if the class is going to be doing a Christmas unit I would rather be given the option to include a Hanukkah unit than nothing, but at the same time it also gets exhausting to the be the “Hanukkah expert” in every class my kid has. I’ve talked to some Hindu and Muslim parents who feel the same way.
Anon says
I remember being in a Protestant school in the 90s/00s and singing Christmas songs in music class as well as Hanukkah songs (specifically remember Light One Candle, but there were others). We had two Jewish students in a grade of ~30 and every year their parents came to do a presentation on Jewish holidays (I recall presentations on Hanukkah, Passover, Purim, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur).
If a Christian school 20-30 years ago can figure out ways to include Jewish songs or traditions into school I don’t know why public schools can’t.
Anon says
For the commenter above who said you can change your religion – some religions are also an ethnicity and if you take Jews for example and look at WWII even those who converted were considered Jewish and there are plenty of people who still believe that today so idk if it’s fair to say that everyone has a choice
AwayEmily says
Also, just wanted to say that I cannot imagine another internet forum in existence where a discussion this potentially fraught could be so civil. This place is special.
anonM says
Advice please? I’m in my second trimester, and having some trouble sleeping – particularly waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep for long stretches/hours. I fall asleep fine. And, I’m usually a very sound sleeper. Any tips? Obviously with pregnancy most sleep aid type things are off the table. This is my 3rd pregnancy, and I don’t remember having this issue in prior pregnancies until the very end.
AwayEmily says
Unisom is NOT off the table! In fact it is specifically suggested during pregnancy for nausea. It was a lifesaver in my third pregnancy — I started taking it (with B6) in the first trimester for nausea then kept taking it every few days through the rest of pregnancy because I was SO much happier and healthier when I was well-rested.
Anonymous says
I like a middle of the night orgasm to fall back asleep!
Anonymous says
This is easy, unisom
Anon says
I had this in both of my pregnancies and just got up and watched tv/movies during that time. I was often (but not always!) really tired the next day, but at least it meant it didn’t usually happen multiple nights in a row.
Anonymous says
Honestly I got up and got some billable hours in. It was awful and I don’t have any suggestions. It was totally hormonal for me and no sleep recommendations worked.
An.On. says
My dr suggested benadryl for me.
Anon says
In both pregnancies, I got up, and either read a book in the living room until sleepy or got work done and stayed up. Either of those is better than lying awake in bed.
anonM says
Thank you all! I did not know about unisom/it being pregnancy safe. I’ll ask my dr next week.
And props to all of you who get up and do something productive. I prefer to lay there hoping to fall asleep but instead worry about my to-do list ;)
Betsy says
I get up and journal. Usually if I’m not falling back asleep it’s because I’m worried about something, and journaling helps me let that go.
Anonymous says
I’m ISO some advice on a Disney trip for just me and my 3 year old. Husband is not a Disney person and will gladly stay home with our baby so I’m trying to plan a 3 day trip or less with just me and my son. I’ve been in touch with a planner and she priced out contemporary and it’s $4K just hotel and park tickets and I’m having sticker shock! I dragged my husband to the parks a few years ago and we stayed off property and just Ubered and it was perfect so I’m having trouble deciding if it’s truly necessary to stay on property and on the monorail? Appreciate any other hotel recommendations. Honestly I’m not thrilled about taking buses and waiting endlessly to get around either but perhaps I need to just pay up or wait for buses.
Tea/Coffee says
I think it depends on what is most Important for YOU.
When we had a 4YO, staying on the monorail was priceless. It was (ahem) his favorite part of the whole trip. LOL. Also, sooooo much simpler and since you won’t have another adult to trade off worth, etc, it might be nice.
However – monorail properties are expensive! Some of the other properties that have bus service are slightly less convenient but way cheaper and have theming that might really appeal to a 3YO.
Also, since you aren’t dealing with school calendars yet can you change the date of the trip?
My #2 tip for saving money at Disney is do not get the meal plan unless you really really think you will use it. YMMV – we did the meal plan twice. Once it was totally worth it and the second time it was a bust.
And, my #1 tip for saving money at Disney – if you have any time at all before the trip, get a Disney visa. We put daycare on the card – just passed it through instead of paying out of pocket directly – and the points after four years basically cut the cost of our very nice monorail property trip in half
Anon says
I don’t miss paying for daycare, but I do miss the credit card points from paying for daycare, lol. My husband and I got a free trip to Europe from those points.
Anonymous says
You can ride the monorail for fun without staying at one of the hotels.
Anonymous says
Of course it isn’t necessary to stay at a monorail resort. They are the highest end luxury option. Stay at Carribean Beach or Port Orleans, enjoy the nice pools and atmosphere, take the bus.
Anonymous says
I have extremely fond memories for Port Orleans from the 2x I went as a child. I also loved taking the bus because I grew up in a school district that was so small we don’t have bussing – it felt like the kids in the movies going to school, haha.
We did a character breakfast at one of the monorail properties one morning and took the monorail to the park, so we still had the monorail experience. I don’t know if that’s still possible anymore.
Anon says
We usually stay off property but still very close (some good Hilton options!) and do a rental car. I think it depends on how much you’ll really be park hopping – we do it a ton so being able to just go on our own schedule was great but may not make as much sense if you’re spending all day at 1 spot. We also liked having the car to leave extra changes of clothes and snacks in.
Anonymous says
It really depends on the experience you want to have. If you want to go go go from early park entry to close every day and get on as many rides as possible, it seems necessary to fork over the $$$ for a Disney hotel and all the fast pass lightning lane genie plus park hopper stuff. I prefer a more moderate approach where we stay in a cheaper non-Disney hotel, drive to the parks to avoid the massive hassle and delays of Disney tr@n$portation, pay for the fast pass stuff to get on our high-priority rides, and get to the park mid-afternoon on hot or crowded days and stay until closing time instead of wasting the early, crowded part of the day getting worn out waiting in endless lines. I think we still paid close to $1,000 for three people for a single day this past summer, but that included splurging on a light saber.
Also try different dates. Off-peak dates will be cheaper and less crowded = more pleasant.
Another option–have you considered Disneyland? I prefer it to Disney World. There are plenty of hotels within walking distance, the landscaping is much prettier, the weather is better, it has a more laid-back vibe, and there aren’t as many lame filler attractions as there are at Disney World.
SC says
I know it’s expensive, but I love the Contemporary with little kids. The best thing about the Contemporary is that it’s a 10-minute walk to the Magic Kingdom, and the walking path skips the main security line. (There is a security checkpoint, but there’s never a line.) You don’t have to worry about the monorail breaking down, and you don’t have to drive in and park and walk to the front and wait in security. Since it’s so easy to get to and from the park, it’s also easy to return to the hotel room for a mid-day nap, then leave again.
The second-best thing about the Contemporary is that you can see the fireworks from the hotel. There are a few specific viewing spots where you can hear the music from the fireworks. That means you can return to your hotel room, get ready for bed, watch the fireworks in pajamas, and go straight to bed. Again, you’re not in a throng of people leaving the park, and you’re not waiting in line for the monorail or a bus, or sitting in the car in the parking lot trying to get back to wherever you’re staying.
If you’re looking to save money, I’d suggest cutting back the number of park days and only doing 1-2 days in Magic Kingdom. My kid was pretty underwhelmed by the other parks when he was 3. And there are plenty of fun things to do–breakfast at Chef Mickey’s, hotel pool, monorail, boat ride to the playground at Fort Wilderness (and you can see the horses), Disney Springs.
Anon says
Low stakes question – anyone taken elementary aged kids to Cophenhagen and have advice on what to do? We’ll be there over a long weekend in March with a 6yo and a 8yo.
Anon says
Tivoli Gardens, if it’s open then (I forget when it opens for the season). The boat cruise on the canal is fun. There’s a changing of the guard at the palace that’s cool. There are lots of nice playgrounds.
Anan says
The lady who writes the blog Mom of Children took her two kids earlier this year for Spring Break and wrote a recap:
https://momofchildren.wordpress.com/2023/04/04/spring-break-2023-denmark/
anon says
How much of a raise did you give your nanny when you had a second child? We are expecting our second in January. Nanny works 8:30-6 PM. The oldest is 3.5 and is in school until 12:30 PM every day. (Right now the nanny runs errands and does light housework for us for the first part of the day, but once the baby arrives she’ll be helping with him.)
We pay our nanny hourly, on books, time and a half for overtime, 2 weeks paid vacation. Should we be doing a flat hourly raise, or do we pay more for the hours when she’d have both kids (only half the day right now, and less than that in the fall when the oldest will be in school or extended day enrichment until 4 every day)? How have others handled that?
CCLA says
I don’t think you can distinguish different wages for hours when there are two kids vs just one (esp when paying on the books), so I’d focus on how much you want to raise per hour period and go from there. Plus there will certainly be times when it’s meant to be one kid but she has both, maybe b/c school is closed for the day or something. I think I read somewhere about a dollar an hour raise for an added kid, but we didn’t hire ours until we had both kids already so I’m no help there. I would think about whether/how much you expect her to keep up with house assistance when baby comes, and make sure you and she are on the same page. Congrats on the new arrival!
Momofthree says
I agree- I wouldn’t try to differentiate wages based on how many kids she’s taking care of. If I recall correctly, we did a $1 raise when we added a kid. I think it depends more on what the going rate is in your area. For mine, it was ~$19-$20 for 1 kid and $24-$25 for two kids, so could be worthwhile asking around to friends. I also think it’s relevant that your other kid will not be in her care most of the time, so that in my mind would justify a closer to $1 raise.
Anon says
We have a 3 year old and an almost-1 year old. Nanny made $35/hour when we only had the one kid, and makes $38.50/hour once she started taking care of both. On the books. She will stay at that rate next year when the 3 year old starts nursery school in September, even though she’ll only have 1 of them for most of the hours of each day. 9am-5pm, 5 days a week. Rare overtime but we pay time and a half when it happens. 2 weeks vacation plus 1 week sick/personal, plus all of the extra days that I take off (so really, ends up being 3-4 weeks vacation plus sick/personal).