This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
How is it already August? If you’re a glass-half-full type of person, there’s still over a month of beach outings, backyard gatherings, and dining al fresco.
If you’re expecting, this dress from BB Dakota just screams summer. This tiered, tie-dye maxi dress is perfect for all those outdoor gatherings on your calendar. The light, flowy texture will keep you and baby comfortable during warm summer days — just add a light cardigan or shawl for when the sun goes down.
I’d pair it as pictured with strappy sandals, or even white canvas sneakers.
This dress is available at A Pea in the Pod for $128. It comes in XS–L.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Vaccinated Covid poster from Friday says
I posted on friday about my husband testing positive while I was negative after attending a family party. Well after a weekend of quarantine and multiple tests, it seems very likely it was a false positive. Husband had a rapid test and PCR test on friday which both came back negative. 1 yo had a negative test. I had a second negative test.
Happy we are all healthy, but it was a long weekend being everyone’s butler.
Pogo says
Oh phew! What a nightmare.
Anonymous says
I’m so glad it worked out but gave me a twisted idea. For all the moms desperately needing a break on here . . . maybe it’s time for a COVID scare where you get to isolate in your house while your partner (if you have one) waits on you and does 100% of the childcare since you can’t risk getting the kid sick. Maybe someone had come to work and later found out they were sick….
OP says
It finally convinced him that I need a night at a hotel.
EDAnon says
I am so glad about the result. Only somewhat related, I have wondered if some of the Olympics-related positive have been false just due to the HUGE amount of testing.
Newly suburban mom says
Car seat question: We have a 9mos old who is ready to transition from his infant car seat to a convertible seat. We have one parent car and a nanny who will be driving the baby for short trips around town (library, parks, etc). It seems like older baby/toddler car seats no longer have bases so we can’t just get a second base for her car, which was my initial thought. The nanny would, understandably, prefer not to have a car seat permanently in her car. How have others solved this problem?
Anon says
our nanny has a car seat permanently in her car. some car seats aren’t that hard to transfer, so you could put it in Monday morning and take it out Friday evening, but i believe that it is safest for the car seats to stay in one vehicle for as long as possible
Anon says
The combi coccoro is really easy to take in and out?
Anon says
I would have it permanently installed in the Nanny’s car. I wouldn’t trust the nanny to re-install correctly each time.
Pogo says
Ours is permanently installed in the nanny’s car. I made it clear that was part of the job when I interviewed.
anon says
+1, we have two car seats permanently installed in her car.
Anon says
I think it’s pretty common to have one or even two permanently installed in the nanny’s car. We had that until we had our third kid – at which point we got a third car that the nanny drives.
OP says
Thank you all! Car seat in nanny’s car it is.
Anon says
3 year old has runny nose and a bit of a cough. at home with a vaccinated nanny. how do you decide whether to test for covid? no fever. idk where he got a cold. everyone else in the home feels fine.
AwayEmily says
We test for any sickness at all, even mild (which means we test a fair amount — we probably a test per month). It’s so easy these days, and I feel better knowing for sure.
Anonymous says
+1
EDAnon says
*2 it is easy to test and better to know
Anon says
Wow that’s a lot
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t bother unless the nanny wants you to. Runny nose is not a covid symptom.
Anonymous says
As someone said below, runny nose is a delta symptom. I also wouldn’t put on the nanny whether or not you test — even if you have a great relationship with your nanny, there’s still a huge power imbalance. I would just test.
Anonymous says
Don’t bother unless you register a fever over 100 (or obviously if you have a known exposure)
Anon says
YMMV. With no fever and what I presume is a wet cough due to post-nasal drip, I wouldn’t bother testing. For us, if it sticks around for more than a few days and the cough becomes dry or is unusually bad, I would take DD in. She’s had 2 colds in the covid world and we haven’t bothered testing for either because the symptoms didn’t match up. I am also the mom that doesn’t usually take the kid to the doctor unless something is unusually bad or sticks around a while, if it’s a cold we just self-treat at home (she has never had an ear infection, which would probably change our low intervention strategy if she were prone).
NYCer says
+1.
AnonATL says
Agreed. We don’t worry about runny nose unless there is a proper fever or known exposure. We just turn on the humidifier in the nursery and treat with tylenol until the cold is gone.
anon says
Ditto to all of this. My kiddos are unfortunately ear infection-prone, so we do go in if the cold doesn’t resolve in a few days (but they haven’t even bothered testing for COVID based on the symptoms presented).
Cb says
I’d test just to be sure, but here you just drive through in the car and get your results 12 hours later.
GCA says
Standard employment situation – if my coworker had cold symptoms, I would want them to get a test — even though I’m vaccinated, I don’t want to bring the virus home to my own children. Likewise, the nanny may have vulnerable family members that she doesn’t want to infect. I’d test – even testing for kids is relatively easy and painless these days (we recently did rapid tests before a weekend away with friends, and the 2yo giggled through hers: ‘It’s fluffy!’)
Anonymous says
I’m surprised people are saying a runny nose is not a COVID symptom. My understanding is that Delta infections tend to have more upper respiratory symptoms than other variants, but a runny nose has always been a possible symptom (at least according to our school system). I would definitely get tested for peace of mind.
https://www.bbc.com/news/health-57467051
Anon says
+1. My son had a runny nose this spring (allergies) and required a negative covid test to go back to school
Anonymous says
Could it be allergies?
NewMama says
Any thoughts on short intellectually stimulating activities while on maternity leave? I’m 3 weeks in (this is my first child) and honestly, I’m a little bit bored. In a delicious newborn haze of love and sleep deprivation, but when she’s down for a nap there’s only so much laundry, novel reading and TV I can do. I’m not looking for any big projects or wanting to put pressure on myself- it’d just be nice to use my brain for like 30 minutes a day when I have the energy to do so.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Jigsaw puzzle? Luckily a 3 week old won’t be able to knock it over… Logic puzzles are also supposed to be good for the brain, so you can pick up a book of those to do too.
Anon says
first of all, congrats! how about you take a nap? otherwise, you could work on a jigsaw puzzle, sudoku, crossword puzzle?
Spirograph says
I was also going to suggest logic puzzles or crosswords.
Maybe check out some new podcasts? There’s an informative podcast for everything you could possibly be interested in!
Leatty says
Do you have any interest in learning another language? I did Duolingo while on maternity leave, and it was a great way to use my brain for short periods of time. I also read books, watched foreign films/shows, did crossword puzzles, read the news a lot, and did my CLEs.
Anon says
I read a lot of books that I otherwise had no time to read! Instead of scrolling on my phone during long feeding sessions, I read instead (obv not at night in the dark…)
GCA says
Congrats! And you’re lucky to have a relatively easy time of it! Lots of people do, but my first had both jaundice and colic and our first six weeks were rough (so to everyone who is reading this and thinking ‘what do you mean, bored’ – I see you!). My second kid took these monster 3h naps as a newborn so I played board games with DH, watched entire seasons of Star Trek in a week, and read a gazillion books. What about crosswords, Duolingo, or slowly working through a Coursera course of your choice?
Anonymous says
Thank you for saying this. Between colic, jaundice, and no in-person help thanks to COVID, my maternity leave was AWFUL last fall.
Pogo says
Walk to coffee shop with baby in stroller while listening to podcasts, get a coffee, sit there and read the New Yorker. This was my jam on maternity leave. However, it was fall and such an activity was physically possible – ymmv based on the weather where you are. The combo of getting out of the house + movement + intellectual stimulation from the podcasts and New Yorker really helped me, especially as it was pre-vaccine and I didn’t want to go inside anywhere.
Anon. says
YES! Buy the $20/year or whatever it is NY Times crossword app. I love it, and bought it when I got rid of all the social media on my phone.
Alanna of Trebond says
I would do audio books. I listened to Ron Chernow’s Grant and Jon Meacham’s Franklin and Winston on maternity leave and it was great.
Anon says
I really enjoyed long articles – a print news subscription, the New Yorker, or longhorn.com are good options. Walking or sitting outside with baby on a blanket looking up at the sky while listening to a podcast is also very nice and uses your brain in a new way.
Blueberry says
Duolingo was my maternity leave brain fun! Enjoy the snuggles
AwayEmily says
We decided over the weekend that the best solution for fall after-school care for my soon-to-be kindergartener is hiring a college student (or someone) to watch her from 3:00 – 5:15, Mon – Wed (we have other care on Thurs/Fri). I know a lot of you have done something similar…any tips for hiring? Is care.com the best route, or did you have any success reaching out more directly (we have two early ed degree programs in our area)? The school year starts on Sept 6…when should start looking? Any advice would helpful, we’ve never hired a nanny/babysitter/etc before so we are very new at this. Oh, also cost — would $120 a week be appropriate in a LCOL area? Works out to about $16/hour.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Do you have a fb babysitting group for your area? We have one and I always see both parents and young adults posting on there. I think that would be more effective than care, which will likely get you a lot of hits to wade through. We did find our temporary nanny on care last year, so it’s definitely possible, but something more local would probably be a better start. I’m in a HCOL are so not sure of costs there – I think around here it would be at least 20/hr for a college student and above.
AwayEmily says
Do you know how you find such a FB group? I have a FB account but don’t log in much or use it (I love social media, I’m just more of a Twitter/Instagram person). You just search for “babysitting”? I can’t believe I’m writing this comment, I feel like this is when my mom calls me to ask how to turn on Zoom.
Boston Legal Eagle says
:) Ours is called [Our Town/Town Next Door] Babysitting Page, so hopefully yours is as simple!
Anonymous says
Our local groups on FB are all “[town name] mamas” etc etc. Once you find one, FB will recommend others. We have a general group, where people post about babysitting, schools, and all that, and then a free stuff group. I’m guessing you’ll find something similar.
govtattymom says
Fun! We hired a college student to watch our kindergartner this summer and it worked really well! I had the most luck with NextDoor and a local facebook group devoted to college students looking for babysitting gigs. You probably want to start looking now as people are starting to make plans for the fall. I ended up paying $20 an hour. I had to pay more because a lot of businesses are paying servers, cashiers, etc. more than they ever have before. I had to pay more than the smoothie shop to be competitive if that makes sense. Our summer nanny was lovely and exactly what we needed.
Pogo says
I used sittercity (similar to care dot com) to find our pt nanny who basically has these hours. I pay her more because I understand these hours are not super lucrative, and she drives my kids and does light housekeeping. My company pays the fee for sittercity which is why I chose it over care dot com – I dont know the fee but I believe it is nominal; regardless, I liked that sittercity had the ability to see if someone was background checked, had first aid certification, etc. I both posted and reached out to people who were advertising their availability.
AwayEmily says
You are brilliant, I just googled to see if my employer pays for one and it turns out they foot the bill for care.com. Thanks for saving me some money!
Pogo says
yay! My employer kept mentioning it like it was this huge benefit, I don’t know how much $ it really saves, but i’ll take it.
Anonymous says
I would start now and start by contacting the schools with early ed programs. I have had luck with nextdoor, but the best sitters by far were found from college job boards. The schools near me have internal part-time job boards for students. Just make it clear that you would like to post a job for a current student, not posting a full time job for a graduate of the school.
Another option would be to see if you have a sitter referral service in your area. College nannies and tutors is a nationwide chain. But your area may have other options as well. There might be a fee, but they would do the background work for you. Also, some services have a backup component – so if your sitter is out they will help you find backup. Which is nice.
You could also use a nanny placement service if you just want to pay and do no leg work.
Good luck!
Anon4This says
Hi hive – need some…reassurance. I’ve posted before about how DH and I went through a YEAR last year to the point where I almost lost my marriage. We’ve done therapy (together and individually) and things are a lot better, we feel like best friends, a team, all of that stuff. We go on date nights and are a lot more affectionate/snuggly and jokey.
However, our gardening hasn’t exactly bounced back or found a good new rhythm. I brought this up to DH and he said that he’s very interested but he feels like his body is still basically recovering from everything we went through last year, reubuilding trust with mine, and adjusting to our new normal, and that he hopes time will help. He also mentioned that our therapist said this to him to regarding time when they spoke about this.
Additional context: we have a 3.5 year old and 7 month old, I had a parent pass away late last year, DH had a big shift with a parent where he had to set very strict boundaries earlier this year (a huge 180 for their relationship), and we’ve had other sickness/death on DH’s side of the family. Not adding this to justify but just to contextualize. We also moved states in December 2019, and the sh*t hit the fan for us in March-April 2020.
Anonymous says
Sounds like you both want an active intimate life and he proactively is already discussing the issue with his therapist.
Anon says
even without all of the things you’ve gone through in the past year, many couples gardening is not bounced back before their child is even 1, especially when there is another child in the home. i’ve felt stressed/exhausted just reading about everything you’ve posted and to be honest, i’m not sure i’d be prioritizing gardening either. i know we all wish we had a crystal ball, but i kind of agree with the give it time. you have both had SO MUCH on your plate
Anonymous says
We’ve definitely gone through long dry spells related to depression, stress, etc. and are in one now. It doesn’t mean it won’t come back. Lean into cuddling!
anon says
As someone who is really struggling in my marriage right now, I am curious as to what you did for the 180 in yours (other than therapy and date nights)?
OP says
Honestly, it was life. One of my parents passed away (DH is very close to my parents, especially the one that passed away), and then within a month I had DS #2. Things were better but still rocky, and I went on a SSRI. That helped. Then, while DHs parent was staying with us, instead of supporting us during a hard time they just made it about themselves and told DH all that he was doing “wrong”. I think the last one helped DH start working more as a team, which helped me, too.
So…life? Time? My parents were married for 40+ years and I saw intense ups and downs which also helps me.
Sending you love.
Anon says
Just ask if he’s up for it when you both seem to be having a good day. Being straightforward and positive is the way to go. Small steps. Light touch.
Strollerstrike says
Talk to me about big-ish age gaps between kids. We will most likely end up with a min 4 year gap. Most discussion here and IRL are about significantly smaller gaps and the challenges that come with that.
Anyone who can share their experience with bigger gaps? Was it planed that way or just how life happened?
Cora says
My sister and I have a 6 year age gap – I’m older. I was born while my parents were in grad school, so probably a bit too early, and then my sister once they were more settled. I was delighted when she was born, picked out her name (out of 2 my parents pre-approved), thought she was my doll – although the family joke is that I wanted a puppy and got a sister instead. I was always a little bit of a second-mom to her, but not in a I-was-forced-to-parent-way, just that she is my kid sister and I’m protective. We were probably most distant when I first went to college, but now that she’s out of college we are very good friends and get along fantastically.
Anon says
if i’d had the choice, i would’ve preferred a larger age gap (but i had twins, so 1 minute was the age gap we got!). i think that generally there is no perfect age gap. the first few years with the larger age gap are probably hard due to nap schedules, but the older kiddo is so much more independent – you don’t have two in diapers, one kid can get on their own shoes, etc. just like many things in life their are pros/cons to each and both can be wonderful!
anon says
My sibling and I were 4 years apart (I’m older). I recall being angry when he was born. We fought as children but I also remember defending him against a neighborhood bully. We are extremely close now, part of it is that both our parents have passed away.
Anon says
If it had been up to me, I would have had my kids exactly 2 years apart, with one grade between each.
As it happens, there’s a 4/4.5 year age gap between my oldest and youngest. It’s honestly lovely. Kiddo was old enough to not hurt the baby and actually be helpful. From a practical standpoint, we were only paying for one daycare at a time and will only be paying for one college at a time. Kids are close and love playing, but I do also get to do one on one things with each of them.
I think there are pros and cons of everything. Honestly, I laugh at pre-kid me who thought it would be possible to perfectly time and plan every aspect of parenting. Lemme tell ya, there’s a whole universe of people who have had to adjust their ‘plans’ because of infertility, miscarriage, life circumstances, financial reality, relationship changes, and a million other things. I think a lot of it is allowing yourself to grieve the life you thought you would have and move forward with joy in the life you do have.
anon says
Seconding all of this. Mine are 4 years apart and I love it. I can’t imagine caring for two under two or whatever. FWIW, my partner is 7 years older than his sister and they are super close, talk on the phone every week, and have the best sibling relationship I’ve seen.
Mathy says
Currently happy with the gap between my 6.5yo son and 1.5yo daughter. Would have rather had them 2-3 years apart but life happened. My son has been a really spectacular big brother and my daughter adores him and is his biggest fan. There are of course times when my son wants to do non-baby things and sometimes he can be a little too aggressive with her, but in general it is so great to have the gap where it is. I am interested to see if/how that changes as they grow older.
Incidentally, I’m about 10 weeks with baby #3 who will end up being about 2 years younger than our daughter, so we’ll get that desired 2 year gap there.
anon says
My little brother and I are 4.5 years apart and I think it was a wonderful gap for us. I recall always being protective of him as a child, and then we were less close when I was an adolescent, and became close again after I moved back to my hometown after college and he was still in high school. We are now close as adults and he is a wonderful uncle to my kiddos (who are 2 years apart – I would have preferred a bigger gap but didn’t do so because of my age). My mom always comments on how “helpful” I was as a child and I can tell you my older son is absolutely NOT a help, haha.
Mommasgottasleep says
My oldest is four and a half and now I have 6 month old twins. When my oldest turned 3 I was honestly pretty sad that he wouldn’t have siblings close(r) in age. Now that the twins are here I am so so thankful to have an independent little four year old. He’s sweet, understands how to be gentle with them, can sometimes be helpful, and can do things on his own that make my life easier: like dressing himself, grabbing his own snack, playing independently or putting himself down for the very rare weekend nap. I totally understand why people have kids closer together but this is what works for our family. The toddler years are hard but I think early baby days are hardest for me. I need my sleep! I’m also 35 so I just don’t have the energy I did when I was 27. That being said some days I think we could do a fourth…I think DH is totally done so we’re probably a family of five. Definitely won’t wait til the twins are four to start over: I’m sort of dreading having two toddlers.
RR says
We have a 5 1/2 year gap between twins and a third. It was kind of planned–it took me awhile after twins to decide on a third. It’s got its pros and cons just like anything else. It’s sometimes hard for the youngest being the youngest (and not having a twin), but the older two were and are able to help with her. They still play with her, can babysit her (they are 13), they enjoy similar shows and you tubes. I’d say my youngest is maybe a little more mature than the older two at her age. It’s helped her vocabulary to be around older people–she has an amazing ability to express herself and stand up for herself.
My twins were happy when she was born and when she was young (but they were never only children so YMMV). Now at 13/7, my daughters are at a tough age difference. They fight the most of any combination. But they also play together at times, so I like that it lets my 13 year old still be young. She can play dolls with her sister and have an excuse to avoid feeling like she’s too old.
RR says
I was also about 4 1/2 years older than my younger brother. I was very mad that he was born (and not a girl), but I got over it, and we were really close when I was a teenager, less so when I was in college and law school, and then close again as adults.
DLC says
My two oldest are five years apart. Not planned, just how things shook out (3 miscarriages in between). My second and third are 2.5 years apart. They are now 9, 4 and 1. I will say the 5 year age gap was a much easier transition than the 2.5 year age gap. My oldest was pretty independent by the time her first sibling was born and understood that babies take a lot of attention. She also was super helpful – she was changing diapers by the time she was six. I don’t know if that is common or just her.
As for the challenges: I will say, it’s hard to have kids who are constantly in different stages of development and interest. We will always have to navigate multiple drop offs and pick ups. There aren’t a whole lot of things we can do that all the kids want to do together; for example I can take the two little kids to a playground but the oldest is aging out of that. And the oldest gets screen time, but the youngest don’t and they get upset. And I do think oldest feels the burden of being the first sibling- this might be just her personality, but she is constantly looking out for her siblings and trying to make sure things are going okay and at the same time resentful because she has chores and homework and responsibilities. I also find older kids more challenging mentally and younger kids are tough physically. I’m probably a better baby/toddler parent than and older kid parent… so having to switch back and forth between problem solving by handing a kid a cracker and problem solving by sitting down and having a deep talk, is a little hard for me to manage. And really, I don’t often get the time to sit and talk with my oldest like she really needs. I feel like this will probably all even out when the kids all get older, though, and I am really heartened by everyone’s stories of having big age gaps with their siblings.
Also with the bigger gap… I never imagined I would be still nursing at 42. I know this isn’t specific to age gap, but… I was pregnant with my first in 2012 and I kinda just want my body back.
BlueAlma says
My kids are one and a half and seven. It’s a wonderful gap. The seven year old has been genuinely helpful from the beginning, and they have been playing well together since the baby was about 6 months.
We had a stillbirth in between these two, and it took a while to know if we were up for another baby. While I would give anything to have all three, I did appreciate not parenting two tiny ones at once. I’m an introvert and easily overwhelmed by noise and chaos.
Curious says
I am sorry for your loss.
Allie says
My friend has a six year age difference between her kids and it’s nice — one kid is out in the world off at summer camp and hanging out with his friends while the other one is still cuddle with mommy age.
Anon says
My brother & I are exactly 4 years apart (4 years and one week, specifically), and it was fine. The plan was two two years apart, but my mom had a 2nd trimester miscarriage in between us.
I think it was easier on my parents physically – I was out of diapers, and moderately helpful when he was born (apparently) and they only ever had one college tuition at once. I would note that you should lower your sibling closeness expectations – my brother & I are still not very close, into my early 30s. We’re in different stages in life (would be true if we were two years apart, but being 4 years apart meant we were never at the same schools/experiencing the same things). Perhaps we’ll get closer as we age, but that’s the main drawback – less shared sibling experience. I don’t think that’s a dealbreaker though, at all, and not always true, especially for same gender siblings.
Age Gap Advice? says
Talk to me about a potential age gap between siblings. DH and I are on the fence about trying for a third, and if it happened, there would be a 7 year and 5 year gap between kids. This feels doable or even nice in the first few years, but the thought of parenting a 14 year old and a 7 year old at the same time makes me want to lay my head down on the desk. Any thoughts — positive and negative — would be appreciated!
Anonymous says
As a sibling, it’s really fun. There’s a 9-year gap between my youngest two siblings. We had a lot of fun with the baby when we were kids (I was a teenager when she was born), and now that we’re adults it’s great as well. As far as the parenting experience… I know my mom sometimes had a hard time being the “old” mom. It was hard for her to manage the baby’s sleep in conjunction with older kids’ busy schedules, which made that first year especially rough. It also got a lot harder for us to travel as one big family because of cost, logistics, and all that. Hope that helps!
Anonymous says
A good friend of mine has kids that are 3,5,6, and 15. The oldest was a teen pregnancy; my friend is 38 now. She says the hardest part is that her friends either have young kids or older kids- not both. Also she has both the teen drama and the PK drama at the same time, when most people go through one then the other.
That said, her oldest is a wonderful girl and has always been extremely helpful with the younger kids.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My sibling and I are 6 years apart, I’m older. When I speak to my Mom about it, she actually liked that age gap since I was able to be so independent and helpful. Plus, my sibling and I are still super close!
Flying with four year old says
What do you do for safety restraint while flying with a four year old? Car seat, CARES harness, something else?
NYCer says
We just used the airplane seatbelt. YMMV.
Anonymous says
I use the seat belt that comes with the plane.
Anonymous says
This
Anon says
+1
Jeffiner says
If we had to take the carseat with us to our destination, we used the carseat on the plane. We had the Gogo Babyz roller wheels to make it easy to drag though the airport, we didn’t have to worry about it getting banged up with the checked luggage, and my daughter sat higher in the plane and could see out the window. I remember one trip where we decided we didn’t need a carseat at the destination, so we didn’t take it, and used the airplane seatbelts.
Jeffiner says
We used to travel a lot, so we actually chose a carseat that was light weight and would fit in airplane seats. Some of them may not be so easy to take with you.
Masks says
Any recommendations for a mask for four year olds that is more protective than a cloth mask? Like a KN95 equivalent?
Anon says
We like the Bluna FaceFit KF94s. They fit my 3 and 4yos snuggly because the ear loops adjust.
LittleBigLaw says
We’ve also had good luck with the Blue Industry KF94, which doesn’t have adjustable ear loops but seems softer and more comfortable than other brands we’ve tried for our first grader and preschooler.
Anonymous says
We’re about to start house hunting in earnest (toddler in an 800 square foot condo is starting to be too tight for us). I’m weirdly nervous about it! When we bought our condo it felt like, well, we can sell in 5 years so it’s like picking out a longer-term apartment. But now, I feel like whatever we buy should be our house for the next 20 years. Plus the market is being ridiculous right now. And neither of us has lived in the suburbs in 20+ years, so that will be a big adjustment. Do y’all have any advice? Should we consider renting for a year in our chosen suburban town to see if we like it? Would that be worth TWO moves with a toddler?
Anonymous says
It would be nice if your house worked well for you for 20 years, but I’d focus on finding something that works well for you for the next 5-10. Is there a chance you may have more kids? Is there a chance you or your partner will change jobs? Life changes; don’t put so much pressure on a house to be “forever.” I don’t think you necessarily need to rent (although if you might hate the burbs and want to move back to the city after a year or two, maybe consider it), just adjust your mindset so that you’re ok with “good enough for now.”
Anonymous says
A) Be as picky as you can be with your budget
B) You probably aren’t buying your 20-year home – your needs may change, you may move, you may find a better deal, you may like something else. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Buy for your current need and your anticipated 5-year needs.
C) I would not do two moves, if you can avoid it. I recently did three moves (long cross-country haul + 1 month in a fully furnished rental + 2 months in a non-furnished rental + purchased new home) and it was a mess. Even after 2 months and knowing we were going to move out, the stress of the rental was high. Inevitably, if you hate your chosen suburb, wouldn’t you just try another one, requiring another “trial” move anyway?
Best of luck.
Anon says
are you moving to a suburb of the city you are currently in? my parents back in the day moved from NYC to Montgomery County, MD (suburb of DC) without having lived in a suburb well for my dad, ever. They knew where they wanted to send us kids to school (a private school) and where my dad would be working, but my mom’s job was totally up in air. they bought a house and have been there for 25+ years.
Anonymous says
Yes, DC -> MD suburbs (I’m the poster that was looking at basements in Silver Spring/Kensington recently).
Spirograph says
Oh yeah, the market here IS crazy right now. Honestly, I wouldn’t bet on it cooling off much. I thought the market was crazy when I bought my house in 2012, and there weren’t many lulls in the intervening time.
In case it helps: I love my neighborhood (chosen based on commuter routes with a glance to make sure the public schools were adequate), and I love my house… but it is not as perfect as it was when my kids were babies and toddlers. We have a really clear idea of our wants & needs for our next house and neighborhood, and that’s the kind of thing that you only learn by seeing how your family uses the space and community day in and day out. We’ll probably move again in a year or two, with the plan to stay in that new house at least until the kids are out of high school, but if we have to move sooner, it’s ok! The DC area real estate market is pretty stable. Moving is a pain, but you’re unlikely to lose money on any house around here, even if you need to sell in just a few years.
Been there says
In the VA suburbs and I can tell you the market has gotten better. You still have to move quickly, but cheap flips even in nice neighborhoods are sitting. People aren’t waiving as many contingencies. We moved (bought a single family and sold a townhouse) during the pandemic so I still track real estate cause why not. The harder part will be timing the selling and the buying, but it’s doable. Work with a trusted and good team of realtors who can help you sequence properly (and avoid a seller’s contingency). Also, we put an end date on our search, by which point we’d just take a break and invest more in the townhouse and in various investment vehicles. In our case, we got the house we really liked, so it worked out. But the timeline plan might be work for you. Best of luck!
anonamouse says
A friend just got an offer accepted in a close-in MD suburb for slightly under asking – a lovely, mostly renovated SFH. Her realtor said that things are cooling somewhat in general, and that there’s less competition right now because many prospective buyers are on vacation, trying to squeeze one in before we get lockdowns again.
AnotherAnon says
We moved from the city (Houston) to the suburbs when our kid was 18 months. We rented for a year, then bought. We earnestly hunted with a realtor for that entire year and lucked into finding our current house (DH said it was too expensive but I convinced him). I didn’t mind moving twice but we’ve moved 9 times in 11 years so I’m used to it. Our current house is fantastic: I don’t want to live here for 20 years (see moving 9 times lol) but I really like the house and neighborhood and it’s in a decent school district. We thought the market was crazy two years ago. IMHO it might be worth renting to see what happens with the market but I’m not optimistic.
Anon says
Ugh – Covid. I haven’t seen my dad and other family from my home state in 2 years since he’s a 3.5 hour flight away, and we were so excited about a summer trip where he gets to meet the baby born in July 2020 and for her big brother to play with all of the cousins. Now, with the Delta variant and worries about flying with a baby who can’t be masked … we just made the decision to cancel the trip. I was super bummed all weekend. I rescheduled everything to now make the treck out in December, but who knows. Maybe this never ends? We’ll get Delta under control but then it’s going to be something else? I’m just feeling very discouraged, and angry at all of the morons who refuse to take the simple step of getting a free and widely available vaccine.
Anonymous says
Can he fly to you? Or drive?
OP says
We did think about it, but since he’s disabled, flying (wheelchair, etc.) is challenging, plus my home is not super accessible once he gets here. We did think about driving, but it’d 2-3 days in the car each way (with a 12 mo old and 7 year old [he’d be easy]), through mostly low-vacced states.
Anon says
I’d reconsider driving! It’s pretty easy to have a safe two day drive – we did it recently with a 6, 4, and 2 year old. The 12 month old is tougher, but we did it last year with a 15 month old (both ways) and it was fine. I think Covid has forced more long car trips on a lot of us…
Also FWIW my OB and my kids pediatrician were both okay with me flying with unvaxxed kids recently despite the delta variant. One 2.5 hour flight – maybe 3.5 would be different. We ended up driving obviously, but I thought that was interesting. And I’m in Texas. I think airlines are being very strict still (or that was their impression).
I actually don’t know any unvaccinated adults in my Texas city, so my frustration is more that it seems like this IS going to be our new normal a bit so I am trying to adjust. I do know two people who are vaccinated who have gotten break through infections…
IHeartBacon says
“ I’m just feeling very discouraged, and angry at all of the morons who refuse to take the simple step of getting a free and widely available vaccine.”
I’m feeling this so so hard. I was angry at Covid in 2020 because there was no fix. In late Winter/early Spring 2021 we got a fix, but there are too many selfish and irresponsible people who refused to get the vaccine that it gave the virus plenty of time to mutate into Delta. Right or wrong, I 10000000000% blame all the a-holes who are refusing to get vaccinated. One idiot (an intelligent, white collar professional ADULT!!!!!!!) I know said he didn’t want to get the vaccine because he was “scared of needles.” Scared of needles!?!?!?!? WTF!?!??!?!!?!? Over 600k people have died in the US alone, and people are continuing to die every day, and he thinks “I’m scared of needles” is a viable excuse? I put every death from here on out in the U.S. due to Delta in the hands on those idiots. My god have mercy on their souls.
IHeartBacon says
Oof — just re-read my post. Clearly I have *feelings* about this.
Pogo says
I think we need to get back to screaming into the void. Our last company covid call was focused all about how safe the vaccine was, how it works, why you should get it, the $200 healthcare bonus you get if you get the vaccine, etc. I was like, whyyy are we trying to convince people of this still? But, then I saw a coworker post on LinkedIn about why he doesnt want to get it (he had COVID and doesn’t feel it’s necessary). It’s just exhausting. I am in a very pro-vaccine bubble so I have a really hard time understanding.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry. I feel similarly. If nothing else, your baby will be eligible to be vaccinated eventually, so at least you can look forward to that.
Post Baby Visitors says
We’re expecting baby #4 in October. I’ve always been pretty parinoid about sickness around new babies, but COVID has certainly heightened that. What type of restrictions would you put around visitors? Older kids are 7, 5, and 2 – so they will be bringing germs from school/daycare – so I want to keep outsider germs to a minimum.
Here is what I was thinking:
-only those that are vaccinated can visit (this means no kids under age 12)
– those traveling from out of town on an airplane (my mom) need to wait X number of days and test negative before visiting (what would the proper amount of days here?). She is vaccinated, but I know that does not keep her from spreading. She’s also the worst post-baby visitor, so I am happy to limit her visits to an hour or two with a mask on.
-vaccinated adults must be completely symptom free.
Thoughts? Suggestions?
IHeartBacon says
At this point, I would wait to see what the atmosphere is like in your city by October. I know this will be inconvenient for anyone who would have to make travel plans, if any, but I think everyone understands at this point that all plans are tentative. If anyone asks, I would just say something like, “well, the current plan is [what you wrote above], but who knows it everything will be different by October.”
This is me! says
Ah! This is me except September? How strange! Kids are 6, 5 and 2.
-I think we’re going to limit a lot of visits to outdoors.
-I think we will allow kid visits (playdates with friends of older kids, but again, try to limit interactions to outdoors and it’s not like they’ll be holding the baby – big kids are really excited to show her off and I want them to feel positive about the whole thing)
-I think we’re going to wait until baby is 8 weeks for out of town inlaws to visit. I need to clear that with them and my husband but they won’t have the vacation days to quarantine, and I’m also paranoid about RSV and other viruses this fall.
-avoid all people with all symptoms
-be really strict with the big kids about hand washing as soon as they come in the door and maybe even have them change clothes as soon as they come home from school/sports or whatever
I don’t think we know any unvaccinated adults? So that part is easy – I’m in a big Texas city. I’m most nervous about RSV actually. And regular colds and flu and all the stuff that will be spreading more now that people are being worse about masking.
Same poster says
Is it sad that I kind of don’t expect terribly many visitors with everyone being back to school and busy with their kids this fall? And the whole fourth kid thing? I think it’ll be easy to make all visits just hanging out in our backyard or at a playground while big kids play. Certainly through the holidays. Holidays are going to be their own challenge but I’m going to cross that bridge when we come to it.
OP says
So fun, congrats on adding your 4th!
We’re in Minnesota, so by the time baby gets here outdoor visits will be more complicated for a newborn (the big kids are fine in fall, but newborns still need bundling). I am also most concerned about RSV. It seems like every time we hang out with the cousins we come home with some germs – not blaming them, I just think it is the nature of getting small kids together. So I want to avoid that. Plus none of the parents (my sister and SIL) are vaccinated – so it makes me want to exclude them even more.
My mom gets flight benefits bc my brother is a pilot, so she can come any time. She also has a bunch of very part time/flexible jobs, so she will regularly come and stay for weeks – so I feel like I can require her to quarantine?
Anonymous says
No unvaccinated adults get to see my baby. Flu. Covid. Whooping cough.
Same poster says
You can totally require quarantine! And vaccination! That’s tough you’ve got so much unvaccinated family. We have cousins (under 12) who aren’t vaccinated too but I think my 2 and 5 year olds are the ones I worry about most. The only upside to having minimal family in town and not really getting along with my SIL. My great plan of “all baby interactions outdoors because it’s easy and we can” does not work as well in Minnesota!
I feel like so much advice I’m reading (here, from doctors, anywhere on the internet) ignores older kids going to school and coming home with germs or involves situations where parents will have a lot more control. I COULD keep my older three home all fall, but I’m definitely not going to do that to them. We didn’t have strep, ear infections, flu, anything last year and it was so amazing. Maybe this year will be the same?! But the RSV prevalence makes me worry it will be the opposite! Anyway, GOOD LUCK!
Anonymous says
They do not need to change clothes! This is wildly unnecessary, pointless, and just adds stress and drama.
OP says
Our pediatrician actually recommended this when we added our third. RSV can live on surfaces for hours . . .
Earliier poster says
Aaand I’m back to adding this to the routine (or at least planning to talk to our ped!) Thanks for the info OP!
Earlier poster says
Okay, helpful! It’s what one of my friends does – but I don’t think it’s super dramatic? They just keep a bin by of play clothes by the backdoor for each of them. Heavy handwashing only? Oh and we’re a no shoes house already…
Anonymous says
It’s just wildly unnecessary. Just wash their hands normally.
Anonymous says
That’s what most households w/ an essential worker did during lockdown. My husband would get home from work, dump his clothes in the washer, walk upstairs, shower and put on fresh clothes.
Anonymous says
Right. Last March. Before we all new it was not necessary.
Curious says
I think the point is it’s not necessary for COVID, but helps with other viruses. Seems like a good tip.
Anonymous says
Flu lives on fabrics for 8-12 hours. So I think this is fine advice. It’s not a huge deal. My DH changes every day after work because of construction (asbestos or lead dust). I used to change after the metro because of germs/new baby.
Pogo says
Our baby was born pre-vax so we required negative tests before seeing the baby and limited to grandparents only. Now, I would require vaccine and would still ask that someone travelling get a negative test. It’s easy enough to do.
Anon says
Just need to vent. I’ve been back at work for six weeks from mat leave. I was really proud of ourselves that we’d found reliable childcare before I went back to work. We had DS at an in-home daycare for the past month, and things were going pretty well. Then, the past two weeks, we had to keep him home for 3 days– 2 because nanny was sick, 1 because other kids were sick. (He hasn’t gotten sick yet.) I was so excited to start our formal daycare today. Today, school was closed for a power outage from a storm on Saturday. So, now I’ve had to stay home with DS for three days in the past week… for things that are completely out of our control. And DS hasn’t even been sick yet.
IHeartBacon says
How frustrating. I hate when anything new starts off like this… it makes the new thing feel so ominous.
Anonymous says
I sympathize. My LO had a snow day after just two days of daycare this past winter.