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Road trip says
I’m getting ready to go on a looooong road trip with a toddler and a preschooler. I know this has been asked before, but I can’t find the threads – any tips for easy in car activities that don’t require a lot of prep on my part? We have an iPad and will probably allow some screen time although I’m worried about how that will go in terms of holding it, accidentally turning the show off, fighting, etc. (I’m honestly wondering if I should go get a second iPad.) Any tips appreciated.
Pogo says
There is a feature called “guided access” where they can’t accidentally navigate off of whatever app it is on.
All the snacks.
Make a fun playlist or play our favorite game: Get the album “Truck Tunes” and then as each kid sees a truck they yell it out and we play that song.
For the toddler, I bought one of those busy boards on Amazon that is small/fabric and has a strap so I can hang it around the seat (hes still RF) and he plays with that.
Maybe obvious, but I make sure everyone has their blankey and lovey to facilitate naptime. Nothing like somebody yelling ‘Blankeyyyyyy” and you realize it’s packed under 45 other bags.
Honestly for the toddler, at some point hes just DONE and he whines/cries/makes impossible requests. I try to save the “good snacks” for this, but even then, sometimes he just yells at us and swats things away and screams “OUT! OUT! GET DOWN!” and like … yeah, same, dude. Then it’s time for a break.
Anonymous says
Can I ask you which busy board you got? I’ve been looking for one for my 22 mo for some longer car trips coming up, and I can’t figure out which ones could hang around the seat.
Pogo says
https://a.co/d/en8rOeE
LITTLEFUN Montessori Toddler Busy Board Toys for Kids
Anonymous says
Thank you!
NYCer says
How old is the toddler? If she/he is over or close to 2, I would consider getting a second iPad.
octagon says
+1 second ipad. Also consider getting the mounts that can put it on the back of the driver/passenger headrests. That reduces the chance of motion sickness because they are looking forward instead of down, and also if your kids are in 5-pt harnesses they won’t be able to reach them.
Fidget toys are your friend for trips like this. Look on Am*zon for options. We’ve had great luck with pop-its, pipe cleaners, spinners, etc.
CCLA says
Yes to the mounts and second ipad. That’s our formula for road trips – we don’t use ipads other than when traveling but when we are on long drives there just isn’t anything we’ve found to rival the attention they hold, and the limit on screentime does not exist on those drives. Close to age 2 was when it became workable for the younger one. The mounts we got are velcro based so if you have two adults the one in the passenger seat can detach and reattach pretty easily from their seat. Also big fan of headphones, though those were harder for the little one to keep on until closer to 2.5.
AwayEmily says
We did a couple of these (12 hours). We don’t have ipads, but some things that worked: those little magnetic drawing boards with a pen attached with a string, Water Wow books (I also attached the water marker with a string, my kids drop EVERYTHING), books they have read before (tend to work better than new books), especially “finding” ones like Wimmelbooks. I also went through all their toy bins and just grabbed a whole bunch of small-ish toys that they rarely play with and doled them out periodically. And yes, TONS of snacks. Make sure to bring snack cups. Oh, and audiobooks — again, books they already know work better than new books. Raffi, too.
You didn’t ask about timing but we did 1pm – 1am so the kids slept for the last 4-5 hours.
anon says
I’d suggest either a second iPad or having both kids share the first one (if they’re facing the same direction in the car), rather than giving it only to the preschoolers. For long drives with two FF 3-year-olds we got a tablet mount that attaches to the passenger headrest and puts the ipad between the two front seats where both kids can see it. This means no one can accidentally pause the show by touching the screen and an adult can easily reach it to play a second episode when the first one finishes.
We also try to save screen time for the last part of the drive and encourage other activities first. For no-prep activities (depending on the ages of your kids) we’ve had good luck with reusable sticker books, coloring books, and picture books to flip through. You can also buy felt boards and shapes which have occupied my kids for a surprisingly long period of time.
Anon says
Second felt boards
Anon says
We only have one kid, but we did a 14 hour road trip when my daughter was not quite 2 and she watched tv for 95% of it, so I would definitely suggest a second tablet if the younger kid is over 1.5. Kids Kindle Fires are very cheap and work fine for us if you don’t want to buy another iPad.
OP says
Thanks! This is helpful. Can they watch YouTube videos on the kids fire?
Anon says
I think yes? We haven’t done it but I see instructions online. It might be kind of hard to figure out though. The kids Fire is definitely not the most user friendly device and I remember having trouble installing some other app on it. When we bought it, it came with six free months of Amazon kids content (both books and videos) and we found a lot of good stuff for a toddler in that.
Anon. says
You’re me. We’re leaving for a 10 hour drive with 2 and 5 year olds. Yes, definitely a second screen – we did Kindle Fire tablets with Disney+ and Netflix downloads. Big kid uses headphones, but they just create more things to go wrong for the little one. I also have 7 small toys per kid wrapped that I’ll dole out on the trip. The unwrapping is part of the magic. Wrapped toys include dinosaur and animal figurines from dollar store, stickers, a new book etc. Magna doodles, Water Wow books, etch a sketch all coming with. Alllllll the snacks. When you stop for gas, find a park nearby and have playtime while dad fills up the car.
ElisaR says
we have a 5-6 hour drive to my in laws so we have been doing long drives awhile. we don’t do ipads, but i imagine if we only had one it would make a HUGE fight between my kids. when they were really little we tried to drive at night after dinner so they would be asleep but that’s a pain so now we pop on an audio book. i’m cheap so we did winnie the pooh which i think was free because it’s so old? It’s the original version and quite honestly it sounds BORING to me but the boys are obsessed with it. We switch the speakers to the back so it’s not as loud for us but it will kill a few hours easily. they also like frog and toad on the audio book. my boys are now 4 and 6 yrs old but they have been doing the audio books for 2 years now.
CCLA says
My girls love frog and toad, I did not realize there was an audio book, thanks for that! Going to check it out.
DLC says
We did a ten hour drive with a 10 year old, a 5 and a 3. The ten year old was on her tablet the whole time, but the younger two liked:
-Boogie board LCD tablets.
– audio books/ podcasts
– teaching them to pump their arms to get truck drivers to honk.
– car bingo game.
– not for the toddler, but with the preschooler, playing the alphabet sign game – where you start with A and find it on a road sign and go through the alphabet. Or Eye Spy, the toddler can get into too.
– the singing dog make by Fisher Price
– books.
– all the snacks.
Anon says
My main tip is to leave as early as you can – like 4 or 5 – so you can get in a good chunk while kid is asleep. My kid has never been one to fall asleep in the car if we are driving at night so this works better for us than trying to do a long day on the other end.
Break up the day with stopping at a playground or park to run around for 20-30 minutes. It’s really worth it for everyone’s sanity. Plus during that time everyone can use the bathroom, a grownup can make PBJs to eat when you get back on the road, and if there are two grownups one can go gas up the car while other stays with the kids. If you post your route people may have suggestions.
Yes to two screens or one mounted in the middle where they have joint screen time.
Headphones help a lot. TV is good, so are audio books. There are tons on Audible if you have a subscription. You can also find podcasts on Spotify of someone reading like 15 board books, which might be nice for the littler one.
I Spy and 20 questions are fun.
If a grownup can read in the car without getting nauseous, you can read books to the kids. I have also considered getting a joke book.
There are magnetic drawing tablets that you draw on with a stylus and can erase with a push of a button (basically fancy etch a sketch). My kid will do that for a long time.
Anon says
Timing is highly kid dependent. My kid has never slept in a car since newborn days, so we leave as soon as she wakes and just accept bedtime will be an hour or two late if we’re doing 13+ hours of driving. Waking her up at 5 am would make her a total rage monster (understandably!) but intentionally leaving mid-day to do more driving at night would also result in her being more tired than necessary. Overlapping with her natural awake time as much as possible is definitely right for us.
Pogo says
How do you balance what % of your wardrobe (particularly new stuff) is work-appropriate vs weekend wear? I used to pretty much only have workwear, and things like dark skinny jeans were equally appropriate at work w/ a blazer and wearing to a date or weekend outing w/ friends. I feel like the trendy stuff now – the stonewashed high-waisted vintage jeans, boho crop tops, nap dresses – are so incredibly NOT work appropriate, it seems silly to spend any money on them? But I also am sick of wearing 10 year old maxi dresses to every bbq.
Maybe I’m just looking for permission to have my mid-life crisis early and spend money on trendy things. hmmm.
Anonymous says
I’d say right now my wardrobe is about 80% casual clothes and 20% workwear, but that is because I’m about to go back to the office after 2+ years of remote work. In the Before Times, it was probably more like 60% workwear, 40% casual wear.
I usually get trendy, casual weekend wear at Old Navy or one of the “factory” stores, and spend more on higher quality workwear.
Anonymous says
I’m in the same boat. I just decided to go ahead and spend the money.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Caveat that I always dressed differently at work vs. personal life in the before-times, but this internet stranger gives you permission to lean into a few pieces that are trendy right now to update/modernize your wardrobe to your liking. Sometimes just a few accessories and jewelry can do the trick.
Also, as someone who has two nap dresses and wears them with aplomb – they’re just smocked sundresses with extra ruffles and/or puffier sleeves. I had a few iterations of these in my closet before and I find it’s just a warm weather style that I’ve always enjoyed.
Mary Moo Cow says
Buzzfeed recently featured a 30-something blogger of Tik tock-er who posts great photos of how to update your older clothes to look more current and how old people like us can wear trendy stuff without looking silly (I, personally, will never be able to pull off cropped kick flare jeans and a crop top but more power to you if you can.) I’m blanking on the name; anyone else see that? The name was something like dressing trendy in your 30’s.
I’m back in the office 3 days a week, business casual, but also go to court a few times a month, so over the past two years, I ditched a lot of business casual and casual pieces that I wasn’t in love with and upgraded my casual wardrobe with a lot of Boden and Nordstrom pieces. My workwear is mostly Banana Republic washable suits with Nordstrom blouses or J.Crew dresses and blazers. My wardrobe is probably 50/50 work to casual. It is hard to find super trendy stuff second hand, but try to shop second hand for higher quality wardrobe refreshers (I recently bought a Tommy Bahama maxi dress because I wanted one after sitting out the trend for years, but I plan on wearing it for years to come.) I like J.Crew factory for trendy pieces, and I buy a few a season.
Anon says
Tommy Bahama maxi dresses are not trendy, but I agree they will be a good summer piece for years to come.
Lydia says
beingjulia and sketchymandy both have series that do this (on TikTok)…. I’ve found both really helpful for thinking about “updating classically millennial outfits.”
Pogo says
OK these were super helpful!! Love it.
Anon says
Most of my wardrobe that is new is work-appropriate (back in the office 2-3 days per week but still a social hermit unless outdoors because high risk), but I have a business casual workplace and so there is a lot that does double-duty. I’ve been pairing (new and old!) maxi dresses (from boden, old navy and target) with jackets or cardigans and they’ve been really well-received (and complimented on) so that was a surprise (something that never would have flown in our before times business casual). I have even worn what I would have called a nap dress to the office (green and white print, no smocking but definitely blousy) with a white blazer and people raved about it. I do not have the confidence in my body for “mom jeans”, high-waist jeans or crop tops (and frankly that all sounds super structured to me).
Anonymous says
I recently bit the bullet and have been completely revamping my wardrobe. Between the pandemic and two pregnancies I’ve completely missed 3-4 years of trends, and I suddenly realized that I had nothing to wear.
It took me a while to figure out how to navigate the new trends, given that I’m approaching 40 and have zero interest in crop tops. I ended up deciding to really lean into classics. I found a brand that makes striped sort of French-style shirts that I like, I bought some jeans that are non-skinny but also not insane, and I’m currently shopping for casual dresses. My advice is to find some influencers that you like on Instagram, and aim for timeless but still current. It was overwhelming at first but it’s actually been really nice to have things that really feel like me.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Ok update from the PT – DS #2 is…fine. The PT said they could work on building muscle in his foot but there are not muscle tone issues, hip issues, etc. We’re planning on doing PT 1x/week with DS #2 and see how it goes.
Interestingly, the PT said that Medicaid is actually moving the milestone for walking to 24 months, and likely other authorities will follow. He said while it will give kids more time without sending up yellow flags, it will also delay access to treatment for many.
Thank you all for virtually holding my hand through my anxiety around this.
Anonymous says
Really interesting on moving the milestone for walking! I’m not seeing that in Canada or in Europe where DH’s sister is a ped.
I wish there were more like a scale – early normal, normal, late normal, then ‘ there’s a problem get the kid seen’. The ‘late normal’ crowd often don’t need intervention and it causes unnecessary stress.
Anon says
Agree with this, as someone with a kid who has been “late normal” at pretty much everything but always got there on her own.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Interesting! I don’t have direct CA/EU knowledge, but when I was reading about this milestone online, I felt like they were a bit gentler – like up to ~20 months vs. 18. But they also have the NHS/Home Visitor situation so I think they are delivering care so differently they can be more gentle.
I agree with your scale wholeheartedly and also wish it would apply to the growth curves. Both my kids were small for gestational age when born (no complications…it’s just how I grow babies). With DS #1, we had a fantastic pediatrician that was just focused on progress between appointments (e.g. is he eating, did he gain weight, great!). For DS #2 (different state, so different doctors), we had a pediatrician who was only metric-based, didn’t care that he was gaining and hitting milestones, and just wanted us “on the curve” and gave pretty bad advice (told me I should wake him up for a 3 AM feed when I was back at work…). I am thankful I knew enough not to listen the second time and switched pediatricians.
Anon says
I feel like my kid’s pediatrician has always been pretty good about the early normal vs. late normal and contextualizes milestones in a really helpful way. It’s the Internet that gives me anxiety and I’m bad about not googling.
Anonymous says
Re: Medicaid, I’m not surprised, and it’s so frustrating for families who need care and don’t have private insurance/can’t afford to pay out-of-pocket. I used to work with kids who needed advocacy help in getting Medicaid coverage, and it’s like squeezing blood from a stone.
anon says
Yes delaying the milestones has nothing to do with children’s development and everything to do with the government trying to penny pinch.
Anon says
that is really sad about Medicaid moving the milestone. How do they get to decide that on their own? Shouldn’t that be coming from the American Association of Pediatrics or something? I have a feeling your DS #2 will be walking in no time. I’ve shared this before, but my best friend is a pediatrician and her son was almost 19 months when he started walking and even though she reminds parents daily that there is a wide range of normal as part of her job, it is harder to internalize for her own kid
OP says
Yes and I think of your anecdote often :)
Eh, as someone who works with CMS (agency over Medicaid) and under their regulations, I think they can use APA as a data point but they can set their own standards based on data, trends, etc.
Anonymous says
Let’s be real. I also work with CMS, but on the Medicare side. They’re setting standards based on money.
OP says
Sigh – agreed. I’d like to think it wasn’t so highly based on insurer contracts, but having worked for an insurer I know the truth. That’s why I said CMS “can” set their own standards based on APA, data, etc. but you’re right – it all comes down to who they contract out with and $$$. The goals for incentive payments are slightly better depending on the administration (IMHO) in place.
Anonymous @ 12:20 says
Completely agree that the goals change at least a little bit depending on the administration.
Double stroller rec's for tall children says
We’re expecting our second child in January, and will not be able to use our Vista as a double stroller, as we’d planned, because our 20 month old is an inch or two away from the height max. Any recommendations for good double strollers with high height maximums? I’m okay if the double doesn’t work for a very young baby b/c I can babywear while pushing the toddler. In case relevant – we live in a NYC burb and have a car, but walk frequently around our town/to the playground & park/etc. Neither my husband or I have mobility issues that have impacted ability to push a heavy stroller, lift it into the car, etc.
Anon says
I had a joovy qool that I liked – it looks like it’s max height is 44″ with a max weight of 55 pounds per kid.
I also have a Zoe Double that I really like.
NYCer says
Everyone I know who has used a double stroller vastly prefers side by side vs stacked like the Vista. Not a personal rec, but my BFF swears by the Valco Snap Duo Trend double stroller.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Our City Mini Double Jogger is still going strong with a 6 year old and 3.5 year old (although we only bring it if we’re going to walk a lot, as 3.5 year old can walk reasonably short distances now). It’s side by side but fits through doorways. If you think you will be doing a lot of trails or actually running with them, get a Bob double.
Double stroller rec's for tall children says
Adding in case it helps – the Vista height max is 40 inches, and she’s almost there (yes, I know that this is incredibly tall for a 20 month old). So looking for something with a significantly taller height max.
anonM says
We got a cheap Graco sit n stand stroller secondhand on marketplace. It served us well for the year or so we needed it, then switched to a foldable wagon because they get in/out so much more now. It is bulky to put in/out of car but doable based on your description. You might want to consider one of the nicer foldable wagons where you can attach the carseat, instead of doing both.
AwayEmily says
Wagons forever! Our kids are 19 months apart. We made do with babywearing + regular stroller until both kids were old enough to go in the wagon. I do kind of regret not getting a fancier wagon (we just had a basic foldable one from costco) — there are some that have seats with straps in them.
Anon says
Side-by-side strollers won’t have the same sort of height limits, I think. We like our Zoe double or City Mini GT for when we needed something sturdier.
Anon says
i’m a twin mom and researched ALL the strollers. I would agree with these recommendations. we ended up with a Zoe Double and a Thule bc the terrain is really uneven in our neighborhood, but we almost never put the Thule in the car. If you want sturdier that is easier to put in car I’d go with the City Mini
Anonymous says
I liked the Stroll Air Duo and Mountain Buggy Nano Duo
Anon says
I too had hoped to use our uppababy as a double and couldn’t. We love our city mini GT
Anon says
Also NYC burbs with a similar age gap. We are getting a BOB double when second comes along. We love our single BOB. Pushes like a dream but quite big and bulky. It’s nice for areas without sidewalks.
Also considering bumbleride indie.
Anonymous says
YESSSSS on the bumbleride indie. Super smooth ride with its air filled tires and shocks but much smaller and nimbler than a BOB.
Anon says
We have Bugaboo Donkey for our 20 month old (36 inches 34 lbs) and newborn. Love it. Love that I can have toddler seat and bassinet side by side. Vista was not an option due to weight limits of rumble seat. I was concerned that toddler wouldn’t fit in the donkey seat due to width (it’s height and max weight limits are high) but he’s fine in it and as he gets older
we will add on a ride on board. It’s not cheap but very well made and easy to push/handle. Only con is it folds large takes up a lot of room in car.
Anonymous says
Tall kid mom. I had your same problem and I ended up buying a Keenz wagon as my double stroller. (Then the pandemic hit and we went nowhere, but alas….) This was a few years ago so we just propped the infant carrier on top when needed, but there are some now that have attachments. (The propping was…precarious, so I would def look into that.)
Anonymous says
Huh. Today I learned there are height limits on the Vista (maybe this is a new thing?) Back in 2018, my then 4 YO sat in both the Rumble seat and Toddler seat after sibling came along even though he was 3 or 4 lbs over the Rumble seat’s supposed weight limit. It was fine. We walked on the sidewalks of our suburban neighborhood or indoors at a store.
My thinking, that others may disagree with, is that it’s fine to ignore the height “limit” in a stroller. It’s likely based perceived comfort / fit (i.e. head at the canopy) for the rider rather than a safety standard. Unlike a car seat, where you need kiddo’s head or shoulders below the top of seat or whatever for protection in an accident—they don’t crash test strollers. Or perhaps part marketing ploy to entice you to buy their next stroller model—time to upgrade to the UB Minu or the UB G-Lite!
(Weight limit in strollers are likely more legit—too heavy of a load can overstress components like those plastic connectors between the seat and frame or the seat fabric stitches)
TBH, I often only do the lap belt very loosely and leave off the shoulder harnesses in the stroller. Don’t worry I always buckle car seats correctly ;-p
Senior Parent changes says
Anyone have experience with personality changes in a senior parent. One of my parents was typically super friendly, outgoing, chatty, etc. and in the past month or so, I’ve noticed a distinct personality shift. How do you approach it with them? Any attempts so far have been met with hostile silence. I’m not sure if I’ve given offense or if there is something else going on and I don’t know how to find out. We used to speak daily and visit monthly and now, though I reach out daily, it’s basically silence or one word answers.
Anon says
Not to freak you out– but a personality change was one of the first symptoms of dementia for my grandmother.
Anon says
+1 I also have a family member with Behavioral variant FTD. People tend to think of dementia as forgetfulness or short term memory loss to start. But with this variant and several others, it can specifically look like a big behavior swing. Best of luck, it’s unsettling when you suspect something might be wrong and there is lack of communication.
Anon says
+1 (for Alzheimers, not regular dementia, although can manifest in both). You can take several approaches. If you know who their doctor is (and you go with to appointments or I think you can call), let the doctor know you’ve noticed a change and ask them to consider that information at the next appointment. If your parent will be receptive, you can also say “look, I’ve noticed some personality changes the past few months. It would make me feel better if you discuss that with your doctor (or tell them to ask the doctor for a dementia or alzheimers screening if you think that wouldn’t cause alarm), but this only works if the patient is willing and able to convey that information. My guess is the hostility is because they too have noticed something different and it scares the living daylights out of them, particularly if there is a family history and they know what they are getting into.
Anon says
I don’t know how to ensure this gets done, but this should absolutely be brought up with a competent medical provider for your parent.
Anonanonanon says
I’m not joking even if it sounds like I might be, but friends I know that have lost parents to Fox News/facebook radicalization have started this way. Now, that may be a symptom of a larger issue (dementia, etc.) but Fox News and internet certainly sped the process along.
Anonymous says
Does this parent have a spouse that you can approach?
Anon says
This is 100% Silly snark, but I just listened to the BoBW episode with the stylists (which was great!), and I was like eyerolling a lot at LVK not knowing that eyebrow makeup was a “thing” or that this other beauty option was available. Again, I get everyone has their own interests and not everyone is into certain things – no shade to that – but I feel like someone with her job that does speaking engagements, videos, news segments, etc. has their head in the sand by not knowing about some basic beauty tips.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I stopped listening to BOBW because I got really annoyed with LVK’s entitlement and dismissiveness of anyone who did anything differently than her (including her cohost!) I recently listened to an episode and yep, there she was again, being dismissive of SHU. And even though it’s a working mom podcast, it’s really only for the top 0.1% of income earners (nothing wrong with that, just not super relatable).
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Yeah the whole “Well you may have kids but you also have X amount of hours for work and yourself!!!” that she peddles, while factually accurate, is a bit dismissive to the load most people carry.
Anonymous says
I’ve found a lot of what LVK’s written to be really helpful over the years but I can’t anymore with the podcast or blog, and won’t read any more of her books, because she keeps drumming the whole “if you have a Big Job, you can afford to outsource.” No, actually, I can’t — I’m a government lawyer and a single parent, and my salary does not allow me to have more than basic childcare, and a house cleaner every 2 weeks. Getting an extra sitter who will also make dinner and do our laundry is not in the budget if I want to retire or help out with college costs or take a vacation every year. Take out, premade food, and sending the laundry out is saved for the really rough times but is not an every day reality. It feels like an insult to my very important work (which impacts the lives of actual people) when she says what sounds to me like, if your job was THAT important, you would be getting paid enough to have a staff.
Amy says
LVK definitely comes off as a “pick me girl” sometimes, and this is a perfect example. Oh I just dye my hair out of the box and don’t bother with makeup! Ok…
I have to be in a very specific mood to listen to her. She is suuuuuuuuper smug. And honestly, doesn’t she have multiple retained childcare providers, AND most of her kids are in school full time? I mean yeah duh obviously balancing work and “family” and “time for fun” is easy if you hire multiple full time staff. SHU at least is a lot more relatable in that she has one (1) nanny and that seems to be about it.
Anonymous says
Yes, I seriously doubt that she had no idea that eyebrow makeup existed.
Anon says
It’s surprisingly hard to google to figure out what BOBW is or who LVK is!
Anonymous says
It’s been a long time since I’ve applied to an open, advertised position as opposed to moving with a team or being individually recruited. What is the general timeline for expecting a response after an interview?
Anon says
the short answer is that there is such variance that i almost don’t know if you can say there is a ‘general timeline’
Anonanonanon says
REALLY varies. Anywhere from a day to three weeks I’d say is within the realm of normal?
Anon says
It can definitely be more than 3 weeks in my industry (higher ed, staff side).
daycare choices says
looking for some advice about choosing a new daycare… is a more convenient location worth the inconvenience of having to pack lunch and snacks?
Option A is 5 minutes from home and 2 minutes from work but doesn’t provide food; Option B is 10 minutes from home and 10 minutes from work, but provides food.
I like the vibe of Option B a bit more, but A is more convenient. The cost, class sizes, etc are comparable.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
We have a daycare/preschool around the block that did not offer food when we looked into it. We’re happily a ~10 minute drive to a place that offers all meals. If actual quality and cost is equal – go where the food is.
We’re moving our kids to another preschool in September that is a 5 minute drive away – and yes, they offer all the foods.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We went with the food. It saved so much mental energy of having to figure out what a picky toddler would eat, and then packing 2 snacks + lunch. Our daycare does it all, and it’s great (I think the kids eat more variety there anyway from peer pressure). We also did school lunch for our K-er, so just had one snack to pack, and now with camp requiring all food from us – I forgot how much of a pain it is.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My 4.5 year old – who has eaten at daycare/pre-school his entire life – was telling me how he’s going to have a lunchbox someday in our lunchbox cabinet (???) and that I’m going to pack quesadillas for him daily (I do not like this idea) because he “doesn’t like the menu” at public school (???)
He’s in private pre-school and will be for another year so not sure where this idea is coming from but I DISSENT.
Anon318 says
Related story: my rising 1st grader goes to a pre-k through 12 school where elementary students are brought their lunches on trays while middle and high schoolers have a traditional cafeteria buffet-style set up. He is in a camp at the school this week where lunch is provided in the middle/high school cafeteria and he came home in awe saying, “Mom, they must really trust older kids not to waste food. I can’t believe they just let them get whatever they want!”
Anonymous says
If the time difference was big – like 20 mins vs 5 mins, I would weigh it differently but I would 100% take an extra 5 minutes in the car vs. having to pack lunches and snacks every day.
Mine are in elementary school now and packing lunches is the worst. I miss the daycare days so much for that reason alone. Breakfast is an easy meal and only having to figure out what to feed them for supper was the best.
Anonymous says
+1. 5 minutes is nothing.
anon says
Option B is a no brainer. it sounds like it’s only slightly less convenient.
Anonymous says
Better vibe and food for just a few more minutes of driving? Option B for sure.
AIMS says
We’ve had both. Daycare on our literal street was the best thing ever even though I had to pack lunch and snack. Now we are a 10 min walk and they have lunch and it’s fine but it is not the same. Caveat is this was all walking – if you’re driving I am not sure it matters as much since you’re putting kid in a car either way. I also think that vibe matters a lot. I liked the vibe of our closer place a lot. I am not sure I would feel the same if I didn’t.
Anonymous says
I don’t think 5 minutes of driving vs 10 minutes of driving is significant, but I also think vibe is more important than food, so I vote option B.
Anon says
For me, I would choose 10 minute of extra driving for the convenience of not packing food in a heartbeat. You’ll spend >10 minutes a day packing food. I would also trust your gut and go with the one whose vibe you liked better unless it’s horribly inconvenient.
Anon says
You will spend at least the difference in travel time planning, buying, prepping, and packing the food.
anonM says
If your kids are younger than preschool, another dealbreaker might be how the school does preschool. Do they offer summer “camp” for preschool age? How active is it? How long do they expect preschoolers to sit with worksheets, etc.? Looking ahead a bit might tip the scale for you.
childcare choices says
thanks, this is helpful too! both seem pretty play-oriented, but maybe I should push a bit more and make sure they aren’t doing worksheets (one is called a “playschool”?)
anonM says
Oh that sounds like some great options then!! I overlook my kiddo’s worksheets because the staff is great, but ugh it drives me bonkers and wish I lived near a “playschool”! I was surprised that the same center shifted so much from daycare to preschool, complete with more breaks “spring break” etc and worksheets.
daycare choices says
Thanks, this is super helpful! A is potentially walking distance and has a bigger outside area, which are points in its favor. I also have friends who send their kids there and are happy… my husband thinks the convenience is worth it; I just liked B a bit better…
Anonymous says
Did your husband volunteer to pack all lunches and snacks?
daycare choices says
also, I may have misstated the time difference a bit: work –> daycare –> home is about 6 minutes with option A, 20 minutes with option B (basically have to pass home on the way to daycare B from work, then double back). I might be overthinking the annoyance of this and underthinking the annoyance of packing food!
Amy says
Ok, a 14 (essentially 15) minute difference is WAY different from a 5 minute difference. The closer option is clearly better in that case. Packing food is not a big deal, esp. if you’re fine with sending prepackaged foods.
It doesn’t have to be that confusing – just pack what you want to pack, and it’s up to the teachers to have the kids eat it. My go-to lunch selections are: peanut butter crackers, string cheese, fruit cup, applesauce packet, dried cranberries. Greek yogurt is also a good option for protein.
Anon says
I totally disagree. I really hate packing lunches and would give a lot of weight to the daycare providing food, but more importantly I don’t think you should ignore your gut. If your gut says option B I would definitely go with that. It’s not like it’s an hour away. 20 minutes is still objectively a pretty short commute (and I live in the middle of nowhere where everyone has relatively short commutes).
Anon says
I wouldn’t put much weight on walkabilty, personally. Unless you live in a place like the Bay Area with unicorn weather (and I’m guessing not if you have a 5 minute commute to work!) it’s usually going to be too hot or cold to walk. It’s also hard to wrangle kids in strollers and even harder to wrangle kids on foot. Even though I’d love to walk, I suspect we’ll be driving the 0.7 miles to elementary most days next year and from talking to other moms in the neighborhood we’re not alone.
Anon says
Hmm, I don’t think most places in this country are usually too hot or too cold for a walking commute.
Anonymous says
This is kind of crazy to me. I’m in the DC area and we walked to the bus stop (0.6 miles) with my 5-year-olds probably 90% of the time this year. We would drive on days it was pouring so hard the kids would be soaked by the time they got there, but that’s about the only weather that’s miserable to walk in. On cold days you just make sure to wear layers and on hot days maybe you walk a little slower, but it’s still only 15 minutes so you can deal.
Anon says
Maybe it’s just me but I really don’t enjoy being outside for an extended period of time if the temperature is above 85 or below 30, which it is for at least part of the day most days from May to September and December to March in my area. Probably depends on your kid too, mine is not a good walker. Three quarters of a mile would probably take us 40-50 minutes. We’re always rushing in the mornings and I just can’t imagine spending that long walking and having to be constantly nagging her to move faster. Not to mention we’d have to wake her at least half an hour earlier than we otherwise would, and that half hour of sleep is precious.
Anonymous says
Option B was the only one we could get into for our pandemic baby. It’s about 15 min away from home, older building, up to code but older outdoor space, onsite cook with all food/snacks provided (and local CSA veggies in season). Option A had a wait list spot open up last fall, and it’s 5-10 min away from home, newer building, flashy new-ish outdoor space, no food/snacks. (One of us is always WFH these days.) We seriously thought about it, but we realized that we’d spend so much more time planning/shopping for meals and snacks and cleaning food containers that it was a no brainer to stick with B.
And now B has completely revamped their outdoor space because of some extra ARPA funds, and it’s really nice, so it’d be a completely no brainer now.
DLC says
I picked walking distance over provided meals for my current pre-schooler. My son eats the same thing every single day, so the mental energy of packing his lunch is pretty low and I love being able to start and wind down the day with a walk. That said, closer would not have been a bigger factor if it weren’t a nice walk. But if you like the vibe of B better, that probably would be a deciding factor for me. With my first child I chose “vibe” over distance and food and didn’t regret it.
I always found choosing daycares very stressful, so I hear you on this! It would be almost easier if there were only one choice!
Anon says
That sounds like a pretty modest difference in terms of time. But if it also changes mode of transportation— like one is a walking commute and the other is a driving commute — that would make a big difference to me. I would LOVE to not have to drive to and from pickup and instead be able to have a solo walk each way, it’s such a refreshing way to transition the day.
Spirograph says
Option B for sure. My kingdom to not pack lunches.
Anonymous says
I’m on day 2 of not having to pack lunch FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER my school age child at a camp that provides lunch and snacks and it is literally lifechanging. Option B for sure.
Scilady says
Anyone had an IUD expelled and got a second one that didn’t? Got my first IUD and I’m done with babies (1.5 and 3.5, both vaginal births) . Was really excited for my IUD (Mirena) and then turns out it had expelled by my 4 week check-in. Trying to figure out what I should do next. Would love to have set it and forget it birth control, and likely will try again, but would love to hear any anecdotes.
AIMS says
I would recommend a vasectomy.
Anon says
+1 million
Ifiknew says
+1
Anonanonanon says
This.
I had the arm implant about a decade ago (now it has a different name so maybe it changed) and it was awful. I spotted for a year and the hormones made me crazy. Also I have an “exit wound” scar from when it was removed. 0/10 on that one.
Anonymous says
I also had spotting with the arm implant and had it removed. Then I got my second IUD — first was copper T, which caused bleeding for 2 weeks a month, but it had stayed in place for years until I had it removed due to all the bleeding. The second IUD was a Mirena. But it expelled within a week without me noticing. In hindsight the timing was terrible – it was placed immediately before my period started and I use a mensural cup – but I was so fed up at that point we switched to condoms. I’m over 40 and not particularly frisky so am willing to accept the risks of this. If you try again, talk to the provider about optimal timing, whether you can use a menstrual cup, and whether they will recheck and trim the strings after a few weeks. My provider did with my first IUD, but the second–placed at Planned Parenthood–didn’t do any of those things.
Anonymous says
Oh sorry re-reading – glad your provider does do a 4 week check!
Mrs. Jones says
Definitely a vasectomy.
Scilady says
I do appreciate these comments about having my male partner be responsible and it may come down to that. I jealously also don’t really enjoy getting my period and since I was pregnant or nursing for 3 years, am not super excited about having it every 28 days until it stops.
AIMS says
I didn’t mean to be glib. But I had kids in my mid thirties and didn’t want to be on hormonal birth control in my forties and we definitely were done having kids so it just made sense. Now that Roe has been overturned I am honestly extra glad about it, as is Mr. AIMS.
I also can’t help but privately judge men who know they are “done” having kids but won’t do this and instead expect their female partner to bear the brunt of birth control, again and still. Sorry, men, but I just don’t think it’s “manly.”
Anon says
💯
EDAnon says
I have both (IUD and vasectomy) but also recommend a vasectomy if you’re done.
Anon says
Pre-kids, I had a copper IUD that expelled and got a second one that didn’t. I had it for about seven years and I loved the non-hormonal, set-it-and-forget-it option. After my first pregnancy, I got another IUD and it expelled TWICE. That involved cramps and bleeding for about five or six week straight, which was awful just a few months post-partum. I think my anatomy doesn’t line up well with the mechanics of the t-shape of the IUD.
Anon says
How long do you guys wait to see family and friends after your kid is sick? A few days after they’re recovered? Next day?
Anonanonanon says
Depends on what kind of sick, but usually 24 hours fever free with no medication or 48 hours after starting antibiotics.
Anonymous says
Agree with this as a general rule. Also depends on who we’re seeing. Other families with young kids tend to have lower standards in that regard (especially if we’re talking non-fever cold symptoms – if we waited for all the kids to not have those at the same time, we’d be waiting like 8 months). My husband’s 90-some year old Grandma, longer.
Spirograph says
It depends on a lot of things. I’d err on the side of caution to hang out with an infant indoors, but if my kid woke up the next morning feeling fine I wouldn’t think twice about meeting people at a park. If we had specific plans committed and the kid got sick the day before, I would let the host know and feel out their comfort level / let them know we’re playing by ear. A couple of my friends are likely to tell us to come on over anyway, and a couple others are likely to not chance it.
Our family’s not local, so they’re either here or they’re not and we probably wouldn’t change plans for minor illness. For friends, usually it goes something like this: “do you all want to come over for dinner Friday?” “Sorry, Susie’s been under the weather and I don’t want to push it with a late night. [suggest alternative]”
Anon says
Cold/flu we usually try to stay away for 5 days or until kid is fully recovered (except for maybe a post-viral cough, which can linger). If it’s anything bacterial like an ear infection, my kid is usually completely fine after 24 hours on antibiotics (they work very fast on her, for whatever reason) and that stuff isn’t usually catch-y anyway, so I would be fine seeing family once my kid has started antibiotics and appears healthy. We fortunately haven’t had stomach bugs but I’d probably try to stay away longer for that. You can be infectious for weeks with those.
For friends, unless my kid is obviously at the beginning of an illness or sick enough to need to rest (in which case I’d cancel), I usually just disclose the illness, but since most of the people we see are school friends and she catches all her germs at daycare, their kid probably already had the same thing or will soon and no one really cares. In our circles, it is common to do rapid tests at home if your kid has any symptoms that could be Covid, and to disclose the negative test results when mentioning an illness.
Not disclosing illness before a playdate and giving the other person a chance to cancel is one of my biggest parenting pet peeves. We have one friend-of-a-friend (not in my kid’s school) who always brings her 2 yo to things with a full-on streaming nose. She said “oh he’s always sick so if we waited until his nose stopped running, then we’d never have play dates.” Then maybe you shouldn’t have play dates! He’s 2 and in daycare! He doesn’t need the extra socialization. She also never Covid tests him so I always worry this kid is going to be the one who finally gives our family Covid.
Anon says
My first paragraph was about my 70 something parents. We’re more cautious with them. For friends we disclose and let them make the decision.
Anon says
Minimum of 24 hours symptom free and please be open and communicate with your family and friends. I know it can be awkward, but you don’t know who has hidden health issues or is planning a weekend visit to their friend undergoing chemo. The morally right thing to do is to let people know so they can let you know if something is outside of their comfort zone.
Anon says
24 hours after antibiotics (with full disclosure); 24 hours fever free or, if not a fever illness, when my kid is acting back to normal and is not a firehose of mucus or coughing, also with full disclosure. Friends with little kids in daycare are obviously way less sensitive; my mother who is immunosuppressed (like me) and a cancer patient does not want us anywhere near her (and is still griping that she caught DD’s last cold even though the doctor swore up and down that DD could not have been contagious). Friends are also super open with us, because it lets me evaluate whether it’s something I want to risk (e.g., mostly outdoor gathering, tail end of a cold but still a little snotty or recovering from an ear infection well into the antibiotics, I’ll probably say yes, but otherwise I’ll probably reschedule).
Anonymous says
I don’t often venture over to the main page anymore, and that 100-reply thread to someone’s very nice and reasonable PSA that many parents would be really thankful if other adults they’re vacationing with would chip in with the kids for short stints occasionally reminds me why…
Anonymous says
Oh no — I’m the one who vented about that issue over here (and got some really thoughtful responses and discussion), so glad I didn’t do it there!
Anonymous says
And yes, I definitely should have asked my husband for help first, and then others to a lesser extent. It was my own fault that I felt put-upon; I kind of appointed myself the kid-watcher for the whole trip. Lesson learned!
Anon says
That place is so toxic when it comes to anything kid-related.
Anonymous says
Wow. I too thought it was a reasonable request and am shocked by the responses.
Anon says
Lol, that was me.
I tried to be super low key and frame as a suggestion not an obligation.
FWIW, not written based on my personal experiences. My 6 year old actually excitedly tried to invite his aunt (my sister) on a vacation (think totally normal beach/lake house type week away at a decent destination. Not Bali but not Disney) and my sister straight up said to him, ‘that sounds awful. I wouldn’t waste my vacation like that.’ I obviously don’t expect her to provide any help or do a joint vacation because she has made it clear that it sounds awful to her. (There’s a lot of other stuff there too…
I obviously never expect anyone to help me, but it has been really hard to have people say, ‘oh, I would totally help’ and then when you ask for it they’re horrified you asked… but If you don’t ask, then you’re putting the emotional burden on them to read your mind.
This is why it’s so much easier to have mom friends some days….
Anon says
I commented on the main page but I’m so sorry she said that to your kid, that’s just horrible! Of course she can choose to spend her vacation time how she wants, but what a needlessly cruel thing to say to a child.
Anon says
This is somebody who I have done a lot for in their life and will continue to help… but for some kind of baffling reasons she turned rabidly anti-child a few years ago… like I asked her to watch a kid for 90 minutes because I was literally out of options (sitters weren’t available, grandparents weren’t available, spouse had a work trip) 3 years ago (she lives 5 minutes away), she agreed, and then she made sure to tell everyone that it was because I was cheap.
It’s hard because my children absolutely adore her. They have seen her for an hour in the last 6 months and constantly ask to send her pictures or see her dog or invite her over. I have accepted that this is the relationship I have, but that doesn’t make it not hard.
anon says
I feel this.
Yea the vibes are not great but the thread was also kind of enlightening for me with respect to one particular relationship.
I don’t have siblings but I do have a bunch of friends who are usually delighted to hang out with my kid on group vacations (most of them single and childless). I would never ask them to change a diaper or put them to sleep but like, read a book? It’s not even ever an ask. And I love that they have a relationship with him.
But I do have the one staunchly anti-kid friend who was one of my best friends. I’ve struggled with that relationship since having a kid. She refuses to do anything with or for the kid but is fine being “amused” by my son who she says is adorable. I had hoped that she would make an exception because of our relationship but that was my bad. But as a result, I’m just going to have less time to hang out with her or see her. Anyway because she’s the exception I have just really struggled but it seems like there are a lot more of her than I realized!
Lucky says
Your sister’s response must have been really tough on you and your kid. I’m sorry you have to deal with that! My family is known for being very blunt (for better or worse!) and I straight up tell my family members when they will be on duty and they are always really happy to pitch in and hang out with my kids. And my in-laws don’t even need to be told, they just assume they will be constantly on duty! I don’t know how I got so lucky but I will try to appreciate it even more.
Anonymous says
I think you need to ask. If they are horrified that you asked, then you need to take your next vacation with other people. It really IS a lot to expect people to read your mind and spontaneously offer exactly what you want. People who care about you will be happy to help if the request is reasonable. People who won’t help don’t really care about you, and you shouldn’t be wasting your time on them anyway.
Anonanonanon says
All she had to do is say “awww I’d love that sweetie, but I don’t get a lot of time off work and I already booked a different vacation! Have your mom send me pictures though, ok?” even if it’s a lie. why are people like this.
Anon says
OP from the morning – YUP. She gets to live her life, but the outwardly insulting comments she makes while she’s around these children (who also worship her) make it really difficult. They’re still little enough that they think she’s funny…
Anonymous says
Yup.
This thread is making very grateful that my kid’s only bio aunt enjoys visiting us and traveling with us. I don’t like my SIL on a personal level but this thread is making me realize I should be really grateful for how much she cares about my kid.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Didn’t read it, but I can imagine. Was it along the lines of, “well you chose to have kids, why should I do anything at all to help you?” This came up a lot during the pandemic when parents were literally juggling two jobs at once (“but you chose it…”)
Spirograph says
Yeah, that’s basically the gist of it. :)
Anon says
Yeah that made me sad. It can be lonely being a parent and that example really shows why.
Anonanonanon says
They’re toxic about almost everything over there. They also haven’t learned the art of just scrolling past something you disagree with/irritates you.
Anon says
They can definitely be mean and snarky about any topic, but there’s a uniquely toxic attitude towards kids and moms over there. I too remember the “you chose to reproduce, stop complaining!!!” threads at the beginning of the pandemic.
Anonymous says
This. Between jumping on people who dare to ask about fitness/weight loss, anyone who has thoughts on college, and parenting stuff – the vibe is really not great. I’ve been reading since 2007 and hope it improves again.
anonM says
Shoootttt I just read a few comments and that was enough. Sometimes societal attitudes of individualism are so frustrating. I don’t get people who feel like they never have to help or contribute toward any type of community — you really do not know when you might need help yourself, whether illness/grief/kids/aging parents, etc. Ugh.
Anonymous says
These same people who don’t want to watch a kid for 30 minutes are telling another poster that she shouldn’t pay a teenager to dog-sit. So apparently it is totally OK for a childless person to get free labor from someone else’s kid, but not for the childless person to help out.
Anon says
Yeah the hypocrisy of that was just stunning.
AIMS says
I think everyone brings soooooooo much baggage to posts lately. Not sure why people can’t just presume good intentions. Happens here too sometimes, although thankfully less. My best reading of the comments on today’s post is maybe this is partly the result of family vacations where all siblings are expected to go but people are upset that things having to do with kids take any sort of priority. Still seems like an overreaction though.
Anon says
Super thankful I have to fight for time to see my kid on vacation because all the grandparent, great aunt and auntie time means I barely see her (plus young fun aunts are way more cool than boring old mom), but I tend to get a real vacation!
Anon says
OP from the morning here.
I don’t have that experience, but I actually am one of the rare people who finds it easier to parent on vacation than at home. So many activities! We always do so much exercise and swimming! We eat as many meals as possible outside so I am not doing dishes!
That’s so so nice that they get to hang out with your kiddo in that way!
Anonanonanon says
The thread above about vamping up non-work wardrobe got me thinking: what are we wearing to work now? My workwear hasn’t changed significantly since 2018…
Anon says
Athleisure. I still work at home. But my office was super casual before and even more casual now.
Anonymous says
Mine hasn’t either! My company is limping back in person, but I’m in a satellite location so my office, such that it is, is sparsely populated and very casual. Today I’m wearing a knit Boden dress (probably from 2018) and brought a blazer to throw on when I get cold. Yesterday I wore dark skinny jeans and a button down. Flats both days, accessories that look good on Zoom.
I am almost certainly going to need to travel to other offices soon, and I have no clue what to wear in NYC and LA headquarters buildings. I assume they are slightly less casual, but it’s a creative industry so real businesswear would be out of place. I’m a VP and need to look like I’m in charge, so eyeing the “power casual” type looks and thinking that dark jeans + t shirt and blazer + heels might be appropriate?
Anonanonanon says
I have so many good Boden dresses from 2018! I wish they still made them like that! The ones I have are the perfect amount of “fit and flare” but still professional. Good fabric, perfect mid-knee length, elbow length sleeves, I love them.
Anonymous says
For business formal I am still wearing my sheath dresses, short fitted blazers and jardigans, and block-heel pumps from 2019. For the actual office, I am wearing straight-leg jeans and a longer blazer with a plain tee. If I could find a pair that fit, I’d be wearing that outfit with chunky loafers.
Anonanonanon says
I’d like to do… middle-aged moneyed elegance (think Mary Orton on instagram) but alas I do not have the hair or fillers or wardrobe or time or money LOL
Anonymous says
I had not heard of her so I looked her up. Her “interview” look is basically my business casual look, down to the gray jeans and white v-neck tee, except that my blazer is probably less expensive and I don’t wear heels for business casual (even though I have those exact ones for business formal). I wouldn’t wear jeans to an interview, but maybe people are doing that in more casual industries now?
Anon says
Technically no current dress code (carrot to come back to the office) but will be going back to business casual at some point (hopefully still with jeans the whole week rather than just on Friday, and our business casual before was on the formal side, TBD how that resolves), so the office is all over the place, but it’s summer and too hot for jeans so I’m a little dressier than my coworkers. A lot of boden jersey wrap dresses with or without cotton jackets. A lot of maxi (or at least midi) dresses with jackets. Dark rinse skinny jeans (whether un-trendy or not) or pull-on black (or colored, green and pink being my favorite) straight-leg but slim pants with blousy v-neck shells and cardigans. I’ve just accepted I’m not going to wear structured pieces (other than jackets which help denote my seniority as long as they are not matching) unless it’s a business formal occasion, and my newly plus-size shaped post-pandemic body (which is still changing given 8 months of personal training sessions have resulted in a lot of muscle and strength gain even if the dress size and scale numbers haven’t budged) is not at all flattered by sheath dresses, so all the stretch and all the a-line for me, and I’m loving all the longer hemlines too.
My general perception is that people are dressing one “level” down than they did pre-pandemic. For some people that means they have dropped from formal suiting separates to simple black pants and non-matching jackets, for others they have gone from business casual to straight casual.
Also all flats all the time, because I’ve hit the age where I refuse to have painful feet. Rothys most of the time, but I have a few leather pointy toed flats for business formal days. Trying a new tailor to fashion at least one formal suit dress that I don’t feel frumpy in, TBD how that goes.
Anonanonanon says
I’m a pear so I feel you on sheaths. I could technically get them on sale and tailor them but for some reason tailoring is an insurmountable task for me, along with returning anything I order online and going to a store for one thing.
Anonymous says
I feel you on the hassle of tailoring, but it is so very worthwhile. I could buy the most expensive dresses in the world and they would still look frumpy on me without alterations. With alterations, I feel put-together and in charge.
Anon says
Is anyone else getting a blocked by firewall message when they try to comment?
Anon says
DC area ladies. Someone suggested the Navy Yards area as fun to check out with kids and it looks like there is some kind of splash pad/fountain there but online it looks like it might be closed. does anyone know if it is open?
Anonymous says
Check kidfriendlydc
Anonymous says
It’s apparently open now per some kids insta page I follow. Let us know how it is if you go!
Anon says
That’s a fun area. Good ice cream shop nearby and La Famosa is a really good Puerto riven restaurant with outside seating.
Anon says
So I live in that area – it is indeed open, but it gets *wild* on the weekends – it draws kids from all over the metro area, and it just gets super packed and there are a lot of folks that don’t keep an eye on their kids at all. I’d look elsewhere honestly.
Anon says
i would go during the week. like on a tuesday
Anonanonanon says
I’d avoid the splashpad but I do enjoy the area with kids! They can watch the water, there is lots of green space, you could reasonably get food from a good restaurant and have a “picnic” outdoors right there.
It’s so close to the Nats stadium that it can be a pita to go sometimes. I can never keep track of when baseball season is (always it seems?)
Anon says
Baseball season is now :) April to October.
Anon says
My husband and I are having officemate problems. Advice welcome.
I work from home 100% of the time. He’s about 60% WFH home in the school year and 100% in the summers. We have a 5 bedroom house and we both have dedicated home offices with doors. The other three bedrooms are master bedroom, guest bedroom, child’s bedroom. I have basically no meetings. He has meetings all day most days and is extremely loud (not angry at all – just very very loud). In the winter, we’re mostly in our dedicated offices on separate floors and things are fine. In the summer, his office tends to get hot very quickly, I think due to its second floor location and large picture windows. We bought blackout curtains for that room, but they haven’t helped much. We turn down the thermostat to the point that the rest of the house is frigid, but he says that room is still too warm for him to be in. I’ve suggested he go to the basement (which is too cold for me, but the right temperature for him) but he rejects that idea. Our bedrooms are not large and there’s really not much space in there for a desk, so that’s not a place either of us want to work. So his only solution is working in the main floor living area (kitchen/dining room) near my home office, which makes it impossible for me to concentrate even with my door closed. So this setup is not sustainable. I know the obvious solution is probably us switching offices because I don’t mind the heat as much as him, but that makes me so sad. My home office has a really unique layout with a bump out window seat. I love it, and it’s a huge reason why we bought the house. It’s the only room in our entire house that’s “finished” from a decor perspective and it wouldn’t translate to another room because of the unique shape. I know it’s probably silly but I feel very resentful about having to give up this room I love because he can’t have meetings at a normal decibel but I don’t know what else to do.
Anonymous says
A few options – 1) push the basement harder, that actually sounds perfect, if you make it more comfortable there; 2) have a tech come in to evaluate if the vents can be adjusted to improve cooling in that room; 3) whats the air flow situation? add fans to the room, I always feel much hotter when the air is still. maybe add an AC unit to run during the hottest part of the day; 4) switch his office with the guest bedroom, or get a smaller/pullout bed for the guest bedroom so that it can also be a backup office
Anonymous says
But no, do not give up your office or accept him being loud and distracting nearby when he has alternatives.
Anonymous says
As the fellow spouse of a Zoom yeller, I feel your pain. We don’t have enough bedrooms for two home offices, so he gets the office and I am stuck in the bedroom. I can still hear the yelling with two closed doors between us. He wants to convert our dining room into an office for one of us and I am refusing because of the noise.
My vote is that your husband can suck it up or go to the basement. He doesn’t get to displace you or yell in an open area.
Anonymous says
Swap guest room and his office?
Anon says
Can you get a mini split to cool down that office? Have you tried adding a fan?
anonM says
window AC unit in his office. Seriously. Check the WireCutter for Portable Air Conditioner, but there are cheaper units too.
anon says
First you should try adjusting the dampers on your AC. Close them in cold rooms. Open them more in warm rooms. If you don’t have dampers on your AC grates, you could install grates with dampers. to adjust the flow of air.
Next talk to an AC person about adding more AC output to that room. There may be an issue that could be solved.
As a bandaid, if all else fails, you could get a mini split AC for his office. It will cost something, but is better than losing that square footage for half the year.