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A lot of pre-pregnancy clothing can accommodate a growing bump, like this relaxed cardigan.
M.M.LaFleur’s Frederick Cardigan is made from a soft and cozy baby alpaca blend (heads up, it does shed at first). Its lofty yarns are simultaneously warm and breathable.
I have this cardigan in dark taupe (it also comes in “Himalayan salt,” a subdued pink, and “walnut,” a warm beige) and usually pair it with a belt. But it looks equally great without one, especially if you have a growing bump to show off!
This cardigan is $325 and available in three sizes, XS/S, M/L, and XL/XXL.
Sales of note for 11.28.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
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Kid/Family Sales
- BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
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Boston Legal Eagle says
What are you kids going to be tomorrow? Older kid (7) is going as the Screamface dude, with the black robe and mask. Sidenote though, they’re not allowed masks at the school parade – what makeup can we do to make him look more than just a boy in a black robe?! Younger kid (5) is going to be a cupcake. Yes, my kids have different personalities!
Anon2 says
Ha, funny and cute. We are going as a family Star Wars group, a big interest for especially my oldest but also my middle (toddler is trilled to carry a lightsaber and call himself “Yo-da”).
They are wearing different costumes for their school parties, though, both because the Star Wars costumes involve tying and are tricky to get into themselves, and because I don’t want them smeared with cupcake or other school goo right before trick or treating. So they will dig up old costumes from the bin! (Probably a skeleton and Mario)
Anon says
My 5 year old is Princess in Black. I asked for costume advice here, and it came together really well. My mom made the flower out of felt and sewed it onto the dress, but everything else was purchased and it looks great. Not sure how long we’ll last tomorrow night though… it’s going to be cold! Fortunately we’ve had at least a half dozen Halloween events and parties the last two weeks so the costume has gotten plenty of wear and will also be worn at dance class tonight.
Clementine says
7 is Link from Zelda. 3 1/2 is Mirabel from Encanto. Baby is going to be a turtle, a costume all my kids have worn and all I have photos of them wearing it and looking very grumpy.
Spirograph says
hahaha we had a chicken/rooster costume that all my kids wore when they were about a year old, with similar photo evidence!
Anonymous says
Is Scream having a resurgence for some reason? My 5th grader is going as the screamface guy, too, and I wasn’t even sure where he learned of it! The other two are going as Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom characters. My daughter is dressing as “Sage of Time” Zelda, and my son is dressing as Tulin.
Also, I have to brag for just a sec, because I am very proud of how we’ve cobbled these costumes together! I could not find any ready-made costumes for these characters (except expensive cosplay stuff), and my kids were not open to other ideas, so we got crafty.
Zelda: Long green skirt with white nightgown over top, both of which she’ll wear in real life, pinned up with safety pins to make a high-low hemline. (Technically Zelda’s dress should be strapless & sleeveless, but it will be cold.) Elf ears and circlet from Amazon. I got a strip of green fabric and some iron-on gold vinyl for Cricut…but since I don’t have a Cricut, I made a slightly simplified version of the design at the bottom of the sash, freehand, and it looks great if I do say so myself!! Topped off with a bunch of my gold tone costume necklaces kind of looped together. She made her own arm bands and bracelets with Rainbow Loom. :)
Tulin (an eagle): White hooded sweatshirt, white feather boa, a paper bag vest he decorated with markers, $2 worth of light blue/green fabric to make a scarf, and a bow that is just a stick from the backyard that he painted and strung with kitchen twine. I wanted to make a beak with construction paper and a covid mask, but he vetoed that, so instead it’s just facepaint.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
DS #1 – Boba Fett
DS #2 – Storm Trooper (thanks again to the poster about the Hanna Anderson PJ sale
DH – I’ll be thrilled if he wears a Darth Vader T-shirt.
I’m re-using a costume I had last year: Ghost. I did buy face glitter for this occasion, so I am excited :)
Cb says
My mom did an extravagant Viking costume, all from used vinted finds. There’s a linen tunic, a fur vest, a fur lined cape, and amazing felted hat with vintage buttons, a drinking horn. It’s extravagant, and my son is so obsessed with it. Aftercare and scouts had parties tonight so it got its first airing.
School sent a 530pm “costumes are ok” email and the WhatsApp group is losing their minds. We’ve got a Halloween party in the evening so have convinced him to wear a superhero cape for the day, saving the costume (and it’s many accessories) for the evening.
Anon says
I have 2 kids and became pregnant with a 3rd. It was as a result of a birth control failure. I was shocked at first and really overwhelmed and not happy. I’m almost 35 and husband is early 40s. Our kids are 4 and 6. Eventually I started coming around to it and even started feeling happy about this surprise. Was hoping for opposite gender since my two are same gender. I’m a big law parter but have family help and paid help. I was sort of excited to have a bigger family (husband and I are only children). But then I had a miscarriage in the first trimester. Somehow, in all my thoughts about this pregnancy, that possibility didn’t even cross my mind after 2 easy pregnancies. And now I’m sort of stuck. Do all these later happy feelings mean that we should actually try for a third? Or was this some sort of fate proving that our initial reservations were right that a 3rd would overwhelm the delicate balance we have. My doctors say that there’s nothing to stop me from trying for a 3rd. I’m relatively healthy and that this miscarriage was just chance. But idk what to do… it seems like we shouldn’t wait much longer on the decision given our ages and the kids age gap. I thought our decision was already made but then this threw us for a loop. I’m not sure what my question is but maybe just seeking outside perspectives. I haven’t shared with anyone in my real life.
Spirograph says
First, I’m sorry for your loss.
Second, I can see how this brings up some complicated feelings, and I don’t know that there’s a wrong answer here. It’s possible to find happiness in a decision the universe made for you, even if it’s not a path you chose to go down. It’s possible to be sad about the miscarriage and still decide that your family is complete at two kids. 35 is not that old to have a third, so I think you can take a few months and sit with this to decide.
FWIW, I have three and it felt like a big change from two, just in terms of how easy it is to give each one the time and attention that I want to. There are lifestyle considerations — vacations are more expensive, you “need” a bigger car, many people feel like they need more space in their house, if you want to allow your kids to do lots of activities, the logistics get complicated when kids outnumber drivers. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but life is often low-grade chaos these days. How would you feel about that? How would your husband feel about it?
Anonymous says
On gender – once you’ve had two kids of one gender you are much more likely to have a third kid of the same gender. IDK why but those ae the stats.
It’s 50% more kids than a 2 kid family. We each grew up in two kid families and find ourselves really challenged having 3. You can hire a certain amount of help when they are under 5 but when they are older they want you to be there to watch their practice or choir or tell you about their day. Have I finished contracts while tandem babywearing sleeping babies? Absolutely! But you can’t do that while watching skating practice or talking them through the latest friend drama.
Family help is hard to depend on as parents age. My parents’ health when I had the twins 9 years ago was much better than it is now. Currently they drive/drop off at activities twice a week and do the occasional overnight at their lake house once or twice a summer. That is vastly less involvement then they had even 5 years ago. The difference between 60 and 70 can be huge.
We’ve had to upgrade to larger vehicles as 3 across was not working for longer road trips when we went skiing. And even with a 3 row SUV we need a ski rack for all the stuff. We limit each kid to 3 activities but that still makes for a very challenging schedule. We both used to work full time at relatively 9-5 jobs but with my parents’ involvement declining and kids ramping up requests for parental involvement, I had dialed back to 3 days a week. It’s hard emotionally sometimes to feel like I’ve killed my career. They are a joy together and we are very happy even if this was not the life I chose but I likely would not have chosen 3 if I had a choice. (Singleton then twins with no fertility interventions or family history – it was a shock)
Boston Legal Eagle says
There was a thread on the main page a while back that made it sound like 3 kids was the deal breaker for both parents being able to work full time jobs. Obviously, there are exceptions, but I can see how the logistics become more and more difficult with more kids. Not to say that this isn’t worth it if you really want it, and I’m sure you won’t be able to imagine life without the 3rd kiddo, but something to consider. If your spouse can step back, that’s a possibility too.
Anonymous says
I missed this thread, but can speak for myself that I have 3 under 8 and my husband and I work about 100 hours/week between us. For the past few months (since my middle kid started elem and my work really picked up), we’re really feeling like we’re drowning and truly can’t do it all. We already outsource what our budget allows, and constantly feel like we have too many balls in the air. I love my third so much and am very glad we had him, but I expect some difficult decisions about me leaning out (officially, not by being a bad employee) at my job soon.
AwayEmily says
Lots of good points here but the first is a myth and not supported by evidence. It’s basically a coin flip each time. Here’s a peer-reviewed article — happy to send more links, too, it’s such a fascinating topic! https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09332480.2001.10542293
Anon says
I wrote the long comment below you, and I really echo all of what you’ve said here. With less hands on parenting needed for my now nearly 5 year old, I’m more mentally available to my older kids, which is helpful as they navigate tougher social and school issues, but there were times when that wasn’t always the case. There were also games I missed (and finally on the advice of this board when I was struggling), just spent a year getting a babysitter for my third when she was 2 to 3 because I felt like my middle one needed me present and watching at his games more than I was needed at home by a young toddler.
On the other hand….I *loved* having a tween around to bond with over the insanity of toddler antics. My now 12 year old daughter and I used to belly laugh at how ridiculous 2 and 3 year olds can be — my mom was always horrified, as she assumed it would damage their relationship, but I always felt it was easier for my older two to bond with the baby when we acknowledged how hard it was to have a baby or toddler around. Long game, it worked, and the two of them are incredibly close.
Anon says
I agree with Spirograph. I don’t think being devastated about a miscarriage is inconsistent with deciding you want to keep your family size as is, but I also agree that 35 isn’t that old (especially in the context of a third child) and you can see how you feel in the months to come and if you still feel pulled towards a third child maybe it makes sense to try.
Fwiw, with the larger age gap is likely to make the move from 2 kids to 3 kids easier. The people I know who really struggled with it had 3 under 5, which is of course completely overwhelming. I agree with the Anonymous above though about it getting harder to outsource parenting as kids get older and require your presence in a way babies or toddlers didn’t. You probably know that though with your oldest being 6 though.
Anon says
That is so complicated, I’m sorry. My third also came when the older two were 4 and 6 and brought a lot of complicated feelings. It was a big transition. There were lots of times in the first three to four years that I, honestly, really regretted the decision. It was Hard. During COVID, especially, I really struggled with how hard it was to have a toddler, as the older two seemed SO EASY in comparison. I also felt like I couldn’t attend to my older two’s emotional struggles with a toddler underfoot, which is how they really needed me during COVID, and I had a really tough time when my toddler was 3, as I felt like I was holding back the older kids when the world opened back up. Restaurants were still tough for my toddler at that age, as were games and practices (and my husband and I had been coaches for the big kids, which we had to pull way back).
Buuuuuut, I remember coming back from a trip when my oldest were 3 and 5, and we were just turning a corner to it being much easier, and I knew in my gut that adding a third was going to be really hard, and yet I really, really, really felt like someone was missing.
Now that my baby is 4.75, I’m beyond thankful we did it (even though we had some super tough years) — and this part might be controversial, but I think if there is a lot of disharmony in your marriage or you already have a lot of sibling rivalry, and you are concerned about the strain of a third with resources, I wouldn’t do it. My older two are, and always have been, exceptionally close, and they welcomed a third into their little group with open arms. This really helped, especially when I was struggling to manage.
It helps that I knew going in I’m not great at the baby or toddler years, but I am AWESOME at big kid years. So I knew it was going to be hard, but that I wasn’t having my third b/c I wanted a baby or a little kid – I wanted another fully formed person in my family, and we just had to gut through the years that are super hard for us.
You don’t mention where your spouse is on the issue – I was the one who wanted a third, and I struggled with a lot of self-imposed guilt that our third really strained our family. Now, this was largely because COVID made things so much tougher during the toddler years than it would have been if we could have stuck to the go-to childcare that we used for our older kids, and hopefully for all of us, that won’t be the case for you. Thankfully, my husband is an amazing partner, and went in as an equal participant once we decided to go for it, and never made me feel guilty. But, it would have been an even harder few years if he resented me while things were really tough.
TL; DR – I had the missing person nagging feeling. I honestly don’t know if it would have gone away with more time and focus on the awesome stuff the big kids were doing. We also had some really hard years, but on the other side, I’m so happy with the three awesome people who are in my family.
Anon says
[Edit to avoid mod]
That is so complicated, I’m sorry. My third also came when the older two were 4 and 6 and brought a lot of complicated feelings. It was a big transition. There were lots of times in the first three to four years that I, honestly, really regret ted the decision. It was Hard. During COVID, especially, I really struggled with how hard it was to have a toddler, as the older two seemed SO EASY in comparison. I also felt like I couldn’t attend to my older two’s emotional struggles with a toddler underfoot, which is how they really needed me during COVID, and I had a really tough time when my toddler was 3, as I felt like I was holding back the older kids when the world opened back up. Restaurants were still tough for my toddler at that age, as were games and practices (and my husband and I had been coaches for the big kids, which we had to pull way back).
Buuuuuut, I remember coming back from a trip when my oldest were 3 and 5, and we were just turning a corner to it being much easier, and I knew in my gut that adding a third was going to be really hard, and yet I really, really, really felt like someone was missing.
Now that my baby is 4.75, I’m beyond thankful we did it (even though we had some super tough years) — and this part might be controversial, but I think if there is a lot of disharmony in your marriage or you already have a lot of sibling rivalry, and you are concerned about the strain of a third with resources, I wouldn’t do it. My older two are, and always have been, exceptionally close, and they welcomed a third into their little group with open arms. This really helped, especially when I was struggling to manage.
It helps that I knew going in I’m not great at the baby or toddler years, but I am AWESOME at big kid years. So I knew it was going to be hard, but that I wasn’t having my third b/c I wanted a baby or a little kid – I wanted another fully formed person in my family, and we just had to gut through the years that are super hard for us.
You don’t mention where your spouse is on the issue – I was the one who wanted a third, and I struggled with a lot of self-imposed guilt that our third really strained our family. Now, this was largely because COVID made things so much tougher during the toddler years than it would have been if we could have stuck to the go-to childcare that we used for our older kids, and hopefully for all of us, that won’t be the case for you. Thankfully, my husband is an amazing partner, and went in as an equal participant once we decided to go for it, and never made me feel guilty. But, it would have been an even harder few years if he resented me while things were really tough.
TL; DR – I had the missing person nagging feeling. I honestly don’t know if it would have gone away with more time and focus on the awesome stuff the big kids were doing. We also had some really hard years, but on the other side, I’m so happy with the three awesome people who are in my family.
Anon says
Are you ready to exit the little kid stage? (Aka are you excited by the idea of everyone being able to sit at a restaurant and enjoy it, or do you have a twinge of longing and willingness to be in the trenches another 5 years?).
I am currently pregnant with my fourth, after a miscarriage (and three kids of the same sex, lol). I have dropped out of the workforce, which is the right choice for us right now, but I do agree that 3 is the breaking point for big careers. Unless you are very wealthy someone will have to take a step back.
Three kids is fun because I feel like I’ve totally hit my stride with the third. I get so much more joy out of his baby and toddlerhood than I did with the others. I don’t have to worry about “figuring it out”, I know age 2 is still very much a baby, and I can relax and enjoy him. But also three kids, esp of the same sex (I was one of three girls), can easily feel like someone is left out, and that was one of the reasons I went for 4! (I also truly want another kid, obvi.)
For me, I can totally see the joy in moving to that big kid stage, but I’m not ready to close out these baby years. After this I will be, though!
Anon says
Hugs. it’s not exactly the same, but I go pregnant with my second when my first was 9 months old. I felt really conflicted and overwhelmed, it was too soon, and then I came around and got excited and then… I miscarried at 11 weeks. And I’m really struggling with it. So, I don’t have any perfect advice, but this is really hard and it’s normal to feel conflicted. I know this is a tired trope but I recently started therapy with a great therapist who specializes in perinatal loss and it’s been helping me process.
Momofthree says
I’m so sorry for your loss. That must be particularly blindsiding after having two relatively easy pregnancies.
The best course is probably to give yourself some time to mourn the loss and the future you imagined. After that, you can start thinking about whether adding a third would make sense. Would you be ok with another loss? Do you want to go back to diapers again? What would adding another child at this stage look like? (your kids would now be older as well). Do you want 3 school drop-offs, etc.
I have 3, and after my second, we were pretty sure we wanted a third. After my third, I knew we were done. I’ve had some health challenges since then & we’ve had some neurodiversity pop up in our older kid that makes them difficult to parent. We absolutely do not have the capacity for another child.
It’s wonderful that you were able to accept and embrace an unexpected twist in life due to unforeseen circumstances. It’s normal to mourn the loss even if it wasn’t one you expected. There was a reason though you chose to stop at 2, and it’s important to reflect on if the situation has changed since then.
Anonymous says
I was surprised how much different drop off times for the first time this year blew up our morning routines. Currently just spread across two schools.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry for your loss. It just sucks. My perspective on your concerns about a third – my parents had me (the surprise 3rd child) at 36. The age gap with my older siblings is 10yrs and 6.5yrs! I’m actually very close with the sibling who is 10yrs older than me, but wasn’t until I was an adult. Their perspective is that my parents were very happy to have me (there was also a miscarriage between #2 and me, which anecdotally, seems common). My siblings could be legitimately helpful when I was little and babysit me when they were older. They did have local grandparent help as well. My perspective is that a LOT of my childhood was spent at older kid activities, I played with other siblings there when I could, but my parents couldn’t really focus on my stuff until my siblings were in college. If we hadn’t had local grandparents I’m certain I wouldn’t have been able to do extracurriculars. Frankly, without the grandparents I don’t think my mom could’ve worked (just due to cost of childcare and the logistics). So overall, I think my addition to the family was a net positive and I don’t think you’re too old to have a baby.
Anon says
any other Jewish mothers out there struggling? Even though my grandparents are Holocaust survivors, I am not sure I realized how many people there are who still seem to wish my entire family didn’t exist. I am definitely not perfect and I am sure that despite my efforts, I have biases towards some groups of people, but there is most certainly not anyone that I despise or wish didn’t exist.
Anonymous says
Not Jewish but wanted to send support. I see what my Jewish friends are going through and it is very hard.
OP says
thank you. and for the record I personally do not agree with everything the Israeli government does/has done in the past and likely will do in the future. and i think it is ok and important to criticize governments! but so much of what is going on right now is a lot more than that
Anon says
this is helpful to caveat, I’ve struggled because speaking out against Israel actions is characterized as anti Semitic sometimes and that’s heartbreaking and not helpful.
Anon says
speaking out against actions of the Israeli government is not in and of itself anti semitic. aying things like you are “anti-Israel”(which means you think the entire country shouldn’t exist), chanting “From the river to the sea,” etc. are.
Anon says
One thing I hate is when people say “it’s not about Jews, it’s about the government” in response to people pointing out that Jews in cities around the world are being attacked on the streets. If it was about the government only, then Jews in other counties would be totally safe.
Anon says
Not Jewish but sending support too. It’s been sobering to realize how many people in my network have a deep, vicious antisemitism that was waiting for a chance for expression.
Anon says
thank you! please talk with your friends. encourage them to educate themselves. ask why they hate Jewish people so much. what makes us worse than anyone else? we often don’t hear the word ally in this context, but we could use more allies.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I have some Jewish ancestry (grandmother and mother have birthright I believe), though wasn’t raised in the culture. I don’t understand all of the hate and violence in the world. We are all human beings at the end of the day. I’m sorry and know that you have a lot of support out there.
Anon says
Not Jewish, but I can definitely empathize. I hate what is happening.
Anonymous says
Not Jewish, but sending support. It is horrific that anyone should believe a whole group of people shouldn’t exist. And…well…Americans of all people ought to understand that there are nuances and differences between the (range of) views + actions of Jewish people, the Israeli public, and the Israeli government. But of course that doesn’t happen and people everywhere conflate these for any culture that they see as Other.
Spirograph says
+1
Also not Jewish (although I have many extended family members who are), and sending support. What Hamas did is unconscionable, and while I disagree with a lot of the Israeli government’s response, I ascribe them specifically to the government and hate that Jewish people worldwide are suffering more for it. It’s so sad when people lose sight of the humanity of those who have different beliefs.
Emma says
I feel like a fraud answering this because I’m not Jewish myself, but my husband is and my daughter has an extremely Jewish name. I’ve always been aware that antisemitism existed on an abstract level, but the last few weeks have been such a punch in the gut, like I’m discovering how much she’s going to have to face in life all of a sudden, and I’m really, really, angry and scared about it. And I’m trying to tune out the hateful stuff out there and focus on everyone’s humanity, but it’s hard sometimes.
Anon says
You’re not a fraud! Any partially Jewish family is affected by this.
anon says
My husband is jewish. We are raising our son secular but I’m still terrified he might be considered “jewish enough” for the hate and violence.
Anonymous says
Emma, I’m feeling the same way and could’ve written the exact same thing.
Anon says
i’m not the OP, but as another jew, I want to thank all those who’ve posted for expressing their support. the other thing i don’t understand is why so many people seem to struggle to condemn Hamas’ attacks. Rape, brutally killing people, kidnapping, etc. should never be part of any sort of ‘resistance.’ you can disagree with the Israeli government AND think Hamas’ actions are deplorable. you can support the people of Gaza, want a ceasefire, AND want the hostages to be released. People are allowed to have different opinions, but I am also truly concerned for humanity by the fact that there seem to be many people who’ve found a way to justify rape
Anonymous says
Agreed. There are lots of ways to resist, even violently resist, that don’t require going anywhere near where Hamas went.
Anonymous says
Absolutely. I’m having a very hard time. Three of my family members are in an obviously Jewish building all day every day and I’m freaking out, worrying about mezuzot on our house, etc. and I’m also freaking out about how much vitriol and violence is headed at our Muslim or middle eastern looking neighbors because you know white supremacists are just looking for the opportunity. Navigating all of this is exhausting and terrifying and unfortunately people in our circle are repeating very anti semitic info without understanding. I’m personally very lefty, anti occupation generally but I’m seeing people post really bad stuff.
Covid booster for kids says
Has anyone been able to get the updated Covid booster for young kids yet? Our pediatrician (NYC burbs) still doesn’t have it, and I’m super frustrated at this point (two kids 3 and under).
Anon says
We are in LI and no one in Nassau County has it. I called the Nassau County public health dept.
I saw some places in NJ has it (NJ city and Elizabeth). Tribeca Pediatrics has limited supplies of it. You can check the CDC website for the exact addresses of the pharmacies that carry it. I heard all of NY state is having trouble acquiring it. Good luck to us both!
TheElms says
Yes, I was able to 2 weeks ago in DC (kids are 4 and 1 1/2) but my pediatrician was one of the first in the area I think.
Anon says
neither does mine, we are in Houston, TX and our ped is affiliated with Texas Childrens, which is one of the largest childrens hospitals in the country
Anon says
Also in Houston, get our care at Kelsey which also does affiliations with Texas Children’s – and no dice.
Anon says
My pediatrician (Fairfield County, CT) got a limited supply of the 6-35 month dose last week. Unfortunately all were spoken for by the time I called (we’d received an email). They think it’s possible they’ll get more but aren’t sure.
The pharmacies around me also just got the doses for older kids, so I’m hopeful the supply will increase soon. Seems like the pediatric rollout is just beginning now.
Anon says
CVS Minute Clinic has it in my area.
OOO says
We got it from our local health department here in MI
anon says
Have you asked around on parenting groups? Our ped has it, but we also just got it this weekend at a local pharmacy chain that’s well-known for having consistent covid doses.
Anonymous says
We got ours with a flu shot last week (Chicago) at the pediatrician
Anonymous says
Our pediatrician has it in stock again (but their website is not updated yet). I was all set to do flu-shot only at our appt this morning, but they surprised me on check-in saying that they have covid vaccines, too. It’s worth calling to double-check!
FVNC says
Walgreens and CVS in my area (Northern Virginia) have doses, but our pediatrician does not yet. My kids got their boosters at Walgreens a couple weeks ago.
FYI, my younger kid (age 6) had a reaction for the first time to a vaccine of any kind. Upset stomach, fever, fatigue…totally fine within 12 hours, but we did have to alter weekend plans unexpectedly. Our ped said they are seeing more side effects with this one, but obviously that is anecdotal.
anon says
My 6yos were also both sick 24 hours after getting flu and covid boosters, despite never reacting previously.
Anonymous says
anecdotally, i’ve heard the flu vaccine is nastier than normal this year.
Anon says
It is. I had Covid vax-like systemic side effects from it (fever, fatigue, dizziness), when I’ve previously only had a sore arm.
My 6 year old was unbothered by both Covid and flu vax though, fwiw.
anon says
My 5.5 year old got COVID and flu at the same time. She ran a very low fever (100?) and said she was achy. Got the shot at 9:30am and all of this seemed to set in by dinner time. It was gone by the time she woke up Sunday. Previously, she didn’t have reactions to either but unsure which was the culprit this time given she got them together.
Anonymous says
Curious what others spend on clothing per child per year?
-signed “just had to buy 8 year old almost an entirely new cold weather wardrobe due to several inches of growth in the last year”
Anon says
I don’t keep track exactly, but I would guess in the $500 region for one 5 year old.
She doesn’t have strong opinions about clothes yet, and I mostly shop at Target and Old Navy. She’s very tall but we buy things really big and wear them until they’re small (even to the point of dresses becoming tunics) so we usually get several years of wear out of most tops and dresses. She has some size 6 dresses she still wears that we purchased when she was 2. Leggings get holes in the knees, and need to be replaced often but aren’t a big expense (I get them at Old Navy on sale for $5/pair). Shoes need to be replaced more often than I’d like…the Cat & Jack sneakers we bought for back to school in August have holes already. The only brand I’ve found that actually lasts is Adidas, which I don’t want to buy for moral reasons. If anyone has another rec for shoes that last, please share. Her feet don’t seem to grow that fast, I think she’s been in the same size shoe for two years, but we’ve had at least half a dozen pairs in that time due to them wearing out.
Anon says
What’s up with adidas? Those are the only athletic pants that don’t immediately get holes through the knees. For sneakers, I’ve found See Kai Run to be the most durable for the little kid set (the ones from the website, not the Target basics line). We’ve also been getting more into minimalist/barefoot sneakers and those are pretty good. My boys get one pair of sneakers per size (their only shoes other than boots) that they wear every day.
Anon says
I’m Jewish and stopped buying from the after the CEO defended Kanye West’s horrifyingly anti-semitic comments. https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/sep/20/adidas-chief-exec-kanye-west-didnt-mean-what-he-said-with-antisemitic-comments
They did eventually backtrack from this, but only under a great deal of public pressure. I guess with everything going on in the world, Adidas is the least of our problems :/, but I still feel kind of icky about supporting them. They make very good shoes though!
Spirograph says
I did not know this, and thank you for educating me.
Anon says
if you care about antisemitism you don’t buy from adidas
Anonymous says
A lot. $2-3k/year? More? Across all 3. Another $500+ if we are talking sport related clothes. But I have 3 girls so what I buy usually gets a lot of wears, even if it isn’t the same kid.
I buy all outerwear used, high quality. I can often even re sell it after my youngest is done with it.
Caveat that we have a pretty high income and I tend to buy trendier stuff for my kids if they want it (often they don’t care). My 10 y/o has $120 Nikes, my youngest has $12 zip off shoes she got on clearance at target that are her #1 fave. We don’t usually buy much from Target because it doesn’t last. I’d say we have a some filler pieces and single-use holiday dress type stuff from there. Or shoes I know will only last a season and won’t be passed down.
Also, I bought basically nothing for my oldest until she was in preschool. She lived in hand me downs.
Anonymous says
My kids get a TON of hand me downs, so I’d say I spend $200-500 per year per kid (we have 3). My kids don’t grow that fast. I think if I had girls I’d spend a lot more. They get two pair of shoes. They also basically live in Walmart or Old Navy, and it’s warm 9 months out of the year so I don’t spend anything on ski gear, snow boots or heavy winter coats. I’m actually about to pop by the resale shop to see if there are any sweaters or jackets for my twins. They could also use more pants. Oldest is 7 and lives in ON t-shirts and athletic shorts. It’s 50 degrees today and I had to force him to wear leggings under his shorts and a sweatshirt over his tee. Lol kids.
HSAL says
I am incredibly lucky that my mom, the ultimate shopper and deal-finder, buys clothes for all three of mine. She actually just dropped off their winter wardrobes yesterday. I buy gap-fillers, like if a kid is low on pants. Probably $300/year total? Left to my own devices I would probably buy two weeks worth of seasonally-appropriate clothes from Target, add in a few cuter outfits from Hanna, and call it a day.
Cb says
My mom does the same, and thank goodness! She is visiting and went through his wardrobe, she said “he’s low on pjs and sweats, I’ll order more”. I buy uniform tops and jumpers, but I also run the school uniform sale so can normally snag used ones in good condition.
Anonymous says
A lot! I have one boy and one girl, we experience all four seasons, and one of them wears a uniform. My one hack has been to buy coats quite large, and hope they last 2-3 years. DS has a winter coat from JCrew and I think he might be able to wear it for a third year. DD is on her second year with a Boden coat. We do the same with raincoats, etc.
Generally my strategy is to wait for sales on nice stuff from Tea/ Boden/ JCrew/ Gap and supplement with Target/ Carters/ Primary for basics. Right now DS has three pairs of jeans from Gap and three pairs of corduroys from JCrew, but all were purchased on sale for $20-30.
Clementine says
So with us it’s hugely variable from year to year depending on kid growth. Like, normally I would say we spend $100 on shoes per kid for my older two, but somehow my kid went through 4 pair of sneakers in a 6 month period this year…
We do something similar to what Anon at 2:50 does and buy on-sale stuff from Hanna (Baby and Pajamas), Tea (Daughter), and JCrew Factory (Oldest), filling in with Gap Sale, Target, and Nordstrom Rack. We spend more on outdoor clothing but also – one of my kids is wearing a Patagonia jacket which is on it’s 5th winter and still looks and works great. So yes, the coat was $100 on sale but it’s working out to $20/year. All in for all 3 kids, it’s looking like we spend around $1200 including outerwear and shoes, so… $400/kid? Unevenly spread so it’s more like $500 oldest, $450 middle (and the only girl), $250 baby?
anon says
Have you asked around on parenting groups? Our ped has it, but we also just got it this weekend at a local pharmacy chain that’s well-known for having consistent covid doses.
TheElms says
Having never quit a job, how do you quit? (I’ve left jobs at predetermined times but it was always known / expected and I never gave formal notice — just sent an email with an anticipated last day.) Do I just write a letter giving my 2 weeks notice and give it to HR? For reasons that are too long to explain I don’t have a day to day manager. I have partners I work with and a group head that I don’t work with and have almost never spoken to and an office head that I know socially but don’t work with or report to except in a geographical sense. Do I tell the partners before or after I give notice to HR. I haven’t decided but I’m just trying to think it through. I’d be leaving a lot of people I genuinely like in a significantly difficult position.
Anon says
Is this a law firm or something else? When I left Big Law, I started by telling the partner I worked with most closely (he assigned me 95% of my work) and then I think he advised me to talk to the office head (in a totally different area, we never worked together) who had me submit a written letter of resignation. I think soon after that I spoke with other partners and senior associates I’d worked with in the past year or so, and then word kind of spread from there. I don’t recall ever directly communicating with my group or department head.
Anonymous says
Who hired you? Or who is in the role that hired you? That’s where I’d start. In a normal office environment, you tell your direct supervisor in person/video call, then follow up immediately with a formal resignation email that copies HR. After you’ve given written notice to HR and your supervisor, you tell all your partners and work out transition plans.
Anonymous says
I would tell the partners before you tell HR. I’d do a phone call if possible, but email is probably acceptable. Then, yes just send an email to HR stating “I am resigning effective x date.” Do not give a long reason or too much detail. Would love to know more if you feel like sharing. I quit once with nothing lined up and it was stressful but ended up being really good for me.
NYCer says
I think you have said previously that you work in a big law firm. If not, you can disregard this advice. Assuming that is the case, I would tell the partner or partners you primarily work with first. They will presumably tell the head of your group, though you can also ask them if you should reach out to the head of the group. After you have done that, then I would reach out to HR about next steps. This is what I did when I changed big law jobs, and it was fine. I am sure there are other ways to do it too.
TheElms says
Its a law firm. I was hired as a summer associate. I guess I’d go to the partner I work with most frequently. I’m senior enough that I don’t really work “for” him in the traditional sense.
Chl says
Do you have a practice or office head? When I was in big law HR usually that’s who it would go to and then they would contact me about the admin piece.
Anon says
When I left public accounting I had an mentor but not a day to day boss either, and a partner and manager that I worked with the most. You’ll want to tell people you work with yourself and send notice to HR the same day.
If you know your final date type up a written notice for HR and have a draft ready to go from your email to HR and the head of the office. Like 3 sentences: I’m providing notice that I’ve decided to leave Firm. My planned last day is X and I’m providing X week notice. Thanks/Let me know the next steps/I’ve learned and enjoyed my time with Firm/etc. HR will reach out to you with next steps and offboarding process.
For the partner(s) you work with the most (and maybe the head of office) ask to jump on the phone/zoom/get 5 minute of his(their) time in the office and break the news that you are leaving. Send the email to HR just before or just after those conversation.
My notice went out to HR and the head of our office/practice group with just my mentor cc’d. I had a few conversations with the partner and manager I worked with that day.
Anonymous says
Is this just me? My 3rd grader is in an “inclusive” classroom and thus has 3 main teachers plus teachers for special subjects. There are 3 feeds on google classroom, and 2 on Remind, plus one for the PTA. I also get emails from the school itself. A lot of information is duplicated in multiple places and some just appears in one. I’m constantly confused and missing things. My kid is a bit disorganized and cannot keep track of these things on her own — we’re working on it, but I have to double check that she’s not forgetting about assignments and tests and forms all the time. Is this the new normal? Are other parents able to keep up?
Spirograph says
I don’t attempt to keep track of my kids’ assignments. I ask them “do you have any homework? did you do it? Is there anything you want help with or want me to check for you?” and take them at their word. I’ll ask the teachers at conferences whether my kids are consistently missing assignments and might change tack if they say yes.
But as for the multi-channel communication, this is definitely not just you. Our school has weekly newsletters from each grade-level teaching team that are sent out via both email and the class dojo app (these often mention any homework), plus occasional additional messages on class dojo from specials teachers. PTA email distro is separate, as is the monthly-ish newsletter from the principal. There are also weekly recorded phone messages from the principal. And a “Thursday folder” where things are sent home (including a lot of info that is duplicated in one of the other comms channels). We get district-level announcements via email and text message.
Anon says
My kid just started public Prek3 and same. Emails from school, emails from superintendent, emails from teacher, messages in school app… and often the information conflicts each other (like 3 different times listed in 3 places for the start of the Halloween parade!).
Anonymous says
Two of my 3 are in an inclusive classroom but do not get services themselves. Our elem district has a no homework policy. We get one email from the main classroom teacher in all 3 classrooms biweekly, though our K teacher sends stuff on the fly.
The principal sends a biweekly all school bulletin. The PTO sends a newsletter every week.
What things are you missing? My kids don’t have homework but they do have days each week where they need a library book, gym clothes, or a musical instrument, which they are responsible for remembering but I also have on a post-it by the door.
Anonymous says
It’s too much: we have a weekly teacher email, weekly principal email, occasional PTO blasts and two apps, in addition to the 1400 flyers that get sent home with kiddo. District email/text is only quarterly. I don’t even pay attention to the social media posts. Last year my kid was in Kinder and I read the weekly principal email. This year I just text the teacher (her preferred method of communication). I don’t think we’ve missed anything yet.
Clementine says
Ugh, yes. As someone who felt like worst mom ever when kid had to sit out of gym because he wore Crocs on a gym day last week, yeah. Not as bad as when I forgot ‘wacky hair or hat day’ though.
Our ‘system’ is that I get a newsletter weekly from Teacher. I hang that up in the same spot. Husband and I both try and check all the ‘activities’ messages and put anything we need to remember in the ‘Kids’ iCalendar which is shared with the Au Pair. So – everyone knows that tomorrow is Pajama Day for One Kid, Halloween Party wear a Costume for other kid and ‘we’re not allowed to talk about halloween but we’re making a craft this afternoon’ for Kid #1.
Every night, we check the homework folder together and the teacher’s app. I also figured out which secretary sends the important information and pay attention to those alerts. Every couple days (usually when I’m on a boring conference call) I go through and review and read the rest of the messages. Is it 5 apps + 3 Remind text notification streams + emails + flyers? 100% a nightmare. Oh, and husband fully manages all the lunch account/tuition reminder notifications solo.
Anon says
Yes, I scan all the messages and put anything with a relevant date (theme day, field trip, book drive, etc.) on a shared Asana calendar with that day as the due date. A lot of what’s in these messages can just be ignored, and I think it helps to get anything important on the calendar ASAP.
Anon says
We do get emails from a variety of different sources, but I don’t feel like it conflicts and TBH I kind of appreciate getting multiple reminders about certain things. Mine is in K though, so we don’t have homework to manage. I’m sure that’s a whole different thing.
Anon says
Throwing a rant into the universe about the fact that I am pregnant and have been sick with a cold for almost three weeks now. I was just getting over morning sickness when the cold hit, so it really feels like I’ve been sick forever. I knew getting sick was worse when you were pregnant, but I didn’t realize how much worse it was! I just can’t seem to kick this. Trying to get through days of work on just tea and cough drops instead of DayQuil is getting really rough.
Anon says
Yea it’s the worst. It’s even more fun in second pregnancy when you’re watching another kid :) and not being able to take Advil or decongestants when pregnant or breastfeeding adds to the fun. Hope you’re feeling better soon!
Anon says
Any fellow Midwestern parents dreading trick or treating in the cold? It was 80 on Friday but of course it’s going to be in the low-mid 30s tomorrow evening.
Anon says
Yes. My husband wants us to drive 45 min so our toddler can trick or treat with her cousins. The cold is adding another reason for me to hate this plan and I feel like a Halloween grinch.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Will be similar here. We went trick or treating with several inches of snow on the ground a few years back. Older kid was a firefighter so wearing snow pants worked! I think we will just have to bundle up again.
Anon says
Yes it snowed here in 2019, but my kid was young enough that we could just skip and we’re not getting away with that anymore. We’ll still go out but a lot of her friends’ families have opted out and she’s sad about that.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Opted out because of the weather? That’s too bad. I would be more miserable in rain (but would probably still do it) and would only say no if there was a blizzard. My kids would not want to miss this for anything.
Anon says
They’re mostly recent immigrant families so I don’t think trick or treating has the same significance for them that it does for people that grew up with it.
Anonymous says
I grew up in the Midwest and I have fond memories of wearing a snowpants+ boots under my hula dancer costume to trick-or-treat in the snow. :D
Anonymous says
Yes! My 3-year-old is skeptical about wearing all her winter gear under her costume, and I explained to her last night that part of Halloween in the upper Midwest is having a costume that fits over your snowpants and also won’t be too hot if it’s a really nice day.
GCA says
It’s been in the 30s for us all weekend, and yes – brr. I think long underwear under the costumes is part of our answer.
OOO says
Yes it’s going to be so cold on Halloween here. DS is 3 and just starting to be interested in trick or treating. Hoping he will go to a couple houses and call it a night. (Doubtful.)
Anonymous says
I complain about DH a fair amount so I thought I’d share this. He’s committed to baking one pie every week to practice for Thanksgiving. Adorable! My kids are going to be over the moon about having pie every week.
Anon says
I love that!
Anonymous says
I love this! Does he make his own pie crust, too? My second-favorite thing about pie (after, y’know, having pie to eat) is making little cinnamon roll-ups with the “extra” pie crust. It’s not really extra, I just always make an extra crust worth. Roll it out, then smear it with butter, sprinkle liberally with cinnamon sugar, and roll up strips an inch or two long. bake 10 minutes. it’s delicious!
(Pie crust recipe in case anyone needs one:
1C + 1 or 2 TBS flour (depending on humidity)
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 C vegetable oil
2 TBS ice water
Anon says
Halloween costumes in elementary school – we haven’t heard anything about costumes from the teacher or school and (as alluded to above, they send us a lot of emails!). Does this mean costumes are not a thing at this school? I don’t want my kid to be the only one without a costume, but also would prefer not to have her wear a costume all day if possible.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Ours noted the Halloween parade in multiple emails/newsletters so maybe it’s not a thing at your school? Are you on your town’s mom/parent fb page? I find that to be a very useful source of information.
Clementine says
I’d message the teacher with this. Like, a quick ‘Hey! Just confirming – no costumes tomorrow at school, correct? Just don’t want kiddo to be the only one.’
Spirograph says
Our school explicitly does *not* observe Halloween, and costumes are not allowed/welcome so definitely ask around. Or just send a quick costume in her backpack she can put on over her clothes if needed.
Anonymous says
Ask the teacher or it is too late, the room parent, or any parent with a kid older than yours.
Our school doesn’t allow costumes and occasionally someone misses the memo and eveyone feels terrible.
OP says
Thanks guys. I asked a couple moms with older kids and they all said they weren’t 100% sure but that costumes seem to be neither banned nor encouraged. So I’m sending my daughter in street clothes, but I put cat ears in her backpack and told her she can put them on if other kids in her class have costumes and the teacher says it’s ok.
Anon says
I posted a week or so ago about an interview for a job that would likely be “bigger”/more high potential than my current job.
Well, turns out I’m a finalist! More interviews this week, and decision probably next week. I’m terrified and exhilarated. And of course, classic me, I just want to lay down.
Thank you all for your good vibes.