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Sales of note for 12.5.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; 5x the points on beauty for a limited time
- Ann Taylor – 40% off your purchase & extra 15% off sweaters
- Banana Republic – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything & extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – Extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase with code
- Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Loft – 50% off your purchase with code (ends 12/5)
- Summersalt – Up to 60% off select styles & free scarf with orders $125+ (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Talbots – 40% off your regular-price purchase; extra 50% off all markdowns
- Zappos – 34,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
- Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
- Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price item
- Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more
Anxious kiddo says
How do you support young kids with anxiety? My 6 year old is struggling with anxiety and ruminating about mistakes to the point that it makes her sick. I recognize all of the symptoms because I’ve dealt with anxiety my entire life, and I don’t want it to consume and paralyze her. The only thing that helped me was an SSRI as an adult, but not interested in that for her anytime soon. So what should I do? I’ve tried giving her some tips that have helped me, but have not had any success.
Cb says
Oh no, poor kiddo. Would this be something that play therapy could help with? Perhaps the school has someone on site who can help?
anon. says
Please read the book The Opposite of Worry by Larry Cohen. It’s incredibly helpful if you have an anxious child. We’ve found the lessons from it to be invaluable. It isn’t like an immediate fix but might help in general with an anxious child. Ours is now 7 and it’s gotten us through a lot.
Anon says
Look into Supporting Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE). It’s a technique that has really worked wonders for my kid who struggles iwth anxiety.
Anonymous says
If you’re not interested in medication, is she doing therapy? As you know, she needs and deserves real treatment!
OP says
Not yet, but I plan to enroll her in play therapy. After a particularly tough weekend with lots of anxiety, I want to do what I can as soon as I can until we can get her an appointment.
Anon says
i have not used it myself, but i wrote down to save in case i needed it, someone on here once recommended the workbooks “What to Do When” to work through with your kid and for the parents – Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents
Anon says
link: https://www.amazon.com/What-When-Worry-Much-What/dp/1591473144/?creativeASIN=1591473144&linkCode=w50&tag=wwwcorporette-20&imprToken=6R8Qz.8OZVWLxFesy-5kdA&slotNum=0
anon says
Definitely therapy, but I’ve also found the podcast Flusterclux helpful for learning how to teach emotional management skills.
Anon says
I was an anxious child (surprise, surprise, am now an anxious adult), and SSRIs worked wonders for me as a kid when my anxiety was particularly bad. I think it’s great to explore alternatives before moving onto meds, but I would encourage you to consider them for her if nothing else is making a meaningful enough difference. FWIW, I never had to stay on them for more than 12-18 months and don’t currently take them now as an adult. I think I started them around age 8-9 for the first time and have taken them intermittently since then.
Anonymous says
Aw poor thing!! My daughter trends towards anxious and the struggle is real. Definitely play therapy, but things that made more more anxious as a child (my stuff was catastrophic things like an asteroid hitting the earth or car accidents) was being exposed to the news/adult topics. Have you talked through worse case scenarios with her? In the meantime, things that really keep my anxiety in check are lots of sunlight, outside time, and exercise. Less sugar, way less screen time, really limited caffeine (the effect of caffeine on some adults is really underestimated!). I know that medication can be warranted but these are some things that can help as well!
Cb says
What is topping your childrens’ holiday list this year?
We went down a hilarious regression of 90s toys with my son last night… he is very confused by Furbies and when I tried to explain gak, he said “Yes, that’s slime mummy…”
GCA says
Board games, for once, which we are encouraging! 8yo has Dragonwood on his list, 5yo has Labyrinth (her cousins have a copy and she is surprisingly good at it – has trashed us all several times). Also pleased to see the classic spirograph set is still around, and is on the 5yo’s list.
Slight tangent: what is on YOUR holiday lists?
Cb says
Ooh those seem really good! I’m always on the lookout for quick games I can tolerate (game and puzzle hater….)
anon says
My kids (10+7) have been really into Dixit lately. It’s sort of like a visual version of Apples-to-Apples using cards with weird pictures. It’s great for challenging creative and lateral thinking. My engineer husband isn’t a huge fan, but I could see arts and liberal arts majors loving it. :)
Emma says
Ooh I love Dixit! Literature major :) pretty sure it wouldn’t be my medical husband’s vibe… we’ll have to see what my daughter leans towards when she’s old enough for that sort of thing.
Anonymous says
Omg I LOVED Labyrinth, and I cannot wait until my 3-year-old is old enough to play.
Anon says
We have the junior version, and it is fun starting around age 4! Haven’t upgraded yet
anon says
For younger kids, you can also play Labyrinth as a cooperative game, where you take turns as a team trying to shift the maze to get to a shared goal. We just pass the extra piece around the table taking turns to shift the maze. It’s especially fun to do without talking as you have to try to guess why the person before you made their move.
The cooperative way is a great way for kids to get the concept.
Anonymous says
Tried that a couple of times over a cabin weekend, and kiddo had lots of questions about all the pictures on the cards and game tiles – to the extent we never actually got going with the game, lol. “But what KIND of beetle is that?” “What is she (princess) doing here? Why?” “I WANNA SEE WHAT’S IN THE TREASURE CHEST.”
I’m going to give it a couple months and try again.
Artemis says
My favorite cooperative board game for a wide range of ages is Mole Rats In Space. Love it. And I have a very low tolerance for board games.
Mary Moo Cow says
I have another Stanley cup, a refillable notebook from Mark & Graham, and a flower delivery subscription on my list. I doubt anyone will indulge my Stanley habit but I’m dropping hints about the other two.
Anon says
I recommend Bouqs for the flower delivery! I treated myself to that for the pre-vax pandemic year, and it was lovely.
Anon says
She didn’t really give us a wishlist beyond “lots of presents” but my almost 6 year old’s big gifts are from us are an American Girl doll (mine from childhood) and a dance team outfit from the local university (she does dance and we’ve started going to college basketball games as a family).
octagon says
My 8 yo only wants books, which is great but DH worries that there isn’t enough fun in his life, so I’m poking around for toys. I considered a Turing Tumble (he loves science and coding) but worry that we’ve missed the window for that. We might do an entry level drone? I wish he would get into legos, that would make gifting easier, but so far they haven’t been a hit.
The only thing really on my list is a super-cushioned yoga mat. I guess that’s where I am in life now.
Cb says
What about some sort of book paraphernalia? Reading chair? Library kit?
ElisaR says
along these lines, we bought the kids awesome reading lights last christmas. I liked it so much I bought myself one after christmas too. It goes around the neck and has 2 lights which make reading in bed easy and they come in fun colors. Can be purchased online.
Anon says
what is it called? i think my kids would like this
ElisaR says
it’s called Glocusent LED Neck Reading light
octagon says
Great suggestion, everyone in my house already has one! They make great gifts for anyone else considering it, though!
Anonymous says
bean bag!
Anonymous says
Get a Kindle! (see below)
Anonie says
Barbie dream house!
anon says
We’ve been considering getting them each a Kindle paperwhite (see weekend thread).
My 7 yo wants a balance beam. My 10 yo wants a cell phone, but that’s not happening. Big nope.
Waffles says
The Kindle Paperwhite has been a total hit for my kid.
Anonymous says
I bought my kid a regular (read: suuuuuuper cheap) Kindle and a waterproof pouch for pool time, and it has been a HUGE hit. I also have it connected to the library for ebooks and she reads so much more because we can always get new stuff. Highly recommend.
Anon says
one of my 5.5 year old twins literally had nothing to say she wanted when asked, and her sister said headbands and markers.
Mary Moo Cow says
Oof, the Power Pony. Have y’all seen this?! It’s like a rocking horse on a hoverboard. My 8 year old saw an advertisement for it at her grandparents’ house, which just reinforced my commitment to PBS Kids and Disney plus at our house. She also wants the Hogwarts Express for her AG dolls. Both of these are over $500, would probably gather dust after a month, and neither is happening. Sadly, I think not getting either of these will be the final straw for believing in Santa, but I just can’t justify them.
My 6 year old said it was too early to ask her and she might want nothing, but just give presents to “poor kids.”
Anonymous says
I tell my kids that Santa doesn’t bring presents that parents don’t approve of or have room for.
anon says
My 4-year-old niece asked for a jackhammer. I’m sharing because it was so random, delightful, and funny. When asked why, she said it was so she could “bang it on the floor and annoy Brother.”
The 9-year-old wants all the squishmallows. I’ve already told her that Christmas dream is unlikely to happen because she currently owns way, way too many mallows. To the point she can barely get into bed at night because she wants all her cozy creatures next to her.
The 13-year-old is much harder. So many of his interests don’t lend themselves super well to gift-giving, though we’re trying!
SC says
My 8 year old will not give us specific gift suggestions! Whenever I ask, he switches to his stuffed lamb’s voice and asks for its favorite food (fried grass). So, I did actually a pack of 6×6 “fairy grass” used for crafts. I’ll be vacuuming up pieces of that until June.
I’ve bought plenty of other stuff–a puzzle, a couple of Lego sets, a game, an archery set, books. DH is in charge of buying a rock tumbler, after Kiddo went gem mining this summer and is still playing with his stones and asking about a tumbler.
anon. says
Taking my kids from the southeast US who own almost no cold weather gear skiing for several days with family. I have all the ski and cold weather stuff (good quality coats, bibs, etc)… except boots needed just for playing in the snow and generally being in the cold. What are some (hopefully) inexpensive goretex or other winter boots that aren’t full on snow boots so they might use them again? Or if you think I need full on snow boots, hit me with those recs too. Thanks. Kids are 4 and 7.
Spirograph says
We have Kamik snow boots for the kids and like them. I also liked the Tundra boots when my kids were younger, they were easy for preK kids to get on and off with the fold-over + velcro shaft. The velcro eventually gave out, but iirc that was when the 2nd or 3rd kid was wearing them.
If you have a second hand store nearby, it’s worth checking there. I bet there are others in SEUS who bought boots for a vacation or two and the kids outgrew them without too much wear!
GCA says
What about neoprene Bogs? Those are great for mud season, too.
anon. says
The kind with the rubber bottom and neoprene tops? I’m such a newbie at this it’s comical.
GCA says
Yep, exactly! As Anon2 said below, the knockoff Bogs are less pricey than the brand-name ones. (Generically, the style is also called ‘muck boots’, I think.)
anon says
+1 that bogs rated for around 0F +/- are great in snow and for rainy days around 50s/60s F.
Anon2 says
My kids use the D*cks Sporting Goods knockoff version of Bogs and they hold up great (the Snowbound Winter Boot). That’s all they wear for snow boots, and they are easy to put on and relatively comfortable to wear so they’ll also wear them around on slushy or cold days. We are in the Northeast, for reference.
Bogs are great, too, but more expensive
Anonymous says
I learned about these through this site, and I think they are a great solution. The fit is very forgiving too.
Anon says
Have your family ask on their local buy nothing group to borrow some for a week. It’s a common ask in my Minnesota group to help visitors from warmer climates have the gear they need. Most families of young kids have double boots in case a pair gets wet or a pair in the hand me down bin that I am sure they could loan.
Anon says
uch we are in a similar spot – can my 5 year olds get away with rain boots for a 4 day trip and warm socks? it just feels so absurd to get them something they will literally wear for four days. where we live you would NEVER need snow boots
anon says
I do rain boots + warm socks when visiting Minnesota for Christmas. Works great. I like to add is rain pants and gaiters if I’m seriously playing in the snow.
Anon says
I would get waterproof hiking boots or rain boots. Whenever we play in the snow at home, and we do spend a lot of time outside, my kids wear their bogs (the neoprene top kind, which they also wear in the summer) and I wear my Keen hiking boots or rain boots. If they already have regular rain boots that they like you could even get those fuzzy liners to avoid buying new pairs. I have snow boots but I prefer these other options.
anon. says
Thanks, All! I ordered the Bogs with the neoprene tops, they’re on pretty deep sale all over the internet right now. Appreciate everyone’s feedback!
GCA says
Good morning from the start of a 5h hybrid meeting that was announced last week, no agenda has been shared, and the in-room participants have already ceased paying attention to remote participants’ pleas for in-room q&as to be repeated. How is your Monday going? I need a stiff drink already.
Cb says
Yikes, that sounds like a time to take your laptop on the road and clean out a cupboard or something.
Clementine says
Yeah… assuming cameras are off, I think it’s the perfect day for Self Care.
Anon says
This!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Ugh, that sounds terrible! I hope you’re able to do something that needs to get done. I absolutely detest having to do work while in a “required” meeting – maybe you can take care of some other things/life admin while keeping it on? Or, like Clementine said, do some self-care.
Anon says
any other moms struggling with the upcoming holiday season, we are jewish and i feel almost guilty buying my children hanukkah presents and like instead I should be using the money to do what I can (which is basically nothing) to help bring the hostages home, or to help children in Gaza. i’m also wondering my girls should not wear their hanukkah bows to school this year, should i not go into their classrooms as planned to talk about the holiday, we are hosting a large hanukkah party in our backyard, should I be concerned about safety and alert the neighborhood constable to do an extra drive by…
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry to hear this. I think of course you need to prioritize safety and while giving is important so is joy.
Mary Moo Cow says
Oof. I’m so sorry these are concerns this year. I’m not Jewish but have Jewish friends who are feeling pretty isolated right now. I’ve tried to let them know I’m here, I would love to celebrate with them, and I’ll stand up for them. I don’t know what the right answer is in your situation, but I’d consider celebrating the holiday and sending support (financial, in kind, cards, etc., whatever you can do).
Sara says
This post really resonated with me as a Jewish mother of young kids. Thank you for sharing it. It is so hard to not feel guilty when planning celebrations and gifts while people we care for are experiencing so much horror. It is also hard to constantly engage in the mental gymnastics, weighing where we should go and what we should do as antisemitism spikes here in the US and abroad.
I would say, though, that Jewish pride and Jewish joy are more important now than ever. Creating happy, meaningful Jewish memories with your children will give them strength now and throughout their lives, whatever the future holds. And while I don’t believe it is the responsibility of Jews to end antisemitism, if you would find meaning and feel up to speaking about the holiday at your kids’ school, you are putting a human face on Jews for many who don’t know where to turn for accurate info on who we are.
This is a marathon, not a sprint, and I send you so much love and encouragement as you continue to feel all of this so deeply, holding empathy for all people affected, and raising proud, giving children who give me hope for a better world.
Anonymous says
I think this is very much know your area. We are in a Boston suburb, which has fewer Jews per capita than the NYC burb I grew up in, but still– my daughter’s BFF is Jewish, we have several family friends that are Jewish and I’d say in each of my kids’ classes of 18-20 kids there are 3-4 Jewish kids and another few that are non-Christian.
In our area I think they could wear the bows and you could and should go in and talk about the holiday in class. I think you should alert the neighborhood constable because it would make you and the party goers feel more at ease, not because it is strictly necessary.
Anonymous says
I should add, our family doesn’t do religion, but we do gift on Christmas. I tell our kids we celebrate x-mas not Christmas- we are not Christians, though I was raised one, but I do like presents.
Anon says
I’m pretty sure my daughter is the only Jewish kid in her grade in our deep red state, and I feel completely comfortable sending her in Hanukkah clothing. Just because there aren’t many Jews doesn’t mean people are hateful or intolerant. To the extent we feel othered it’s because we’re not really religious – being non-religious here is more isolating than being ethnically Jewish.
Anonymous says
“Alert the neighborhood constable”?!? Tell me you’re foreign without telling me
OP says
So actually I’m not foreign, I live in Texas and we have a constable. I’m not originally from here and I also think it’s strange
Anonymous says
This is fake pot-stirring. The neighborhood constable?
GCA says
there are Jewish people in the UK too. I’ve been speaking with my UK colleagues – a handful of whom are Jewish – about this. Sadly the US doesn’t have a monopoly on antisemitism or hate crimes.
no matter where you are, OP, I’m sorry this is such a heavy weight to carry this year. I would try and prioritize your children’s joy but also their safety.
Anon says
+1 to GCA
Anonymous says
I am feeling similarly about presents this year for sure. And then I would like to do a little Hannukah open house/party, I agree celebrating is weird but I love the idea of building community and finding joy in being Jewish and being with Jews.
Anon says
At what age do you think your kid “graduated” from needing assistance with basic living skills to being independent?
I have b/g twins who turned 4 in August, and one twin is almost completely independent with the basic life skills — she goes upstairs alone in the morning, gets her clothes out of her drawer, gets dressed (occasionally needs a nudge from me to wear something weather appropriate), and is completely toilet trained. Same thing with evening “stuff” – can get her clothing off, pick out and put on her own PJs after a bath, etc. My other twin needs assistance with literally every step of the above. Can’t get his clothes out of his drawer, needs me to lay out his pants/underwear/shirts in a very organized fashion or he gets stuck, and he still struggles with learning to go 2 in the potty, etc. I’m at a loss — is she advanced? Or is he behind? I know there is a continuum of normal, and she’s hit most milestones ahead of him, but I’m completely perplexed at their different stages right now. I will admit that it’s really frustrating because I feel like I should be at the more hands off stage, based on how she is able to perform these tasks, but he is still extremely hands on. Teachers/pediatrician don’t seem concerned about any developmental milestones, but it’s honestly like having two different aged kids.
Anon says
There is a huge spectrum on this. My oldest could get himself dressed for preschool at age four, but I am still accompanying my 6yo on nearly the whole routine (he *can* put on his own clothes on weekends, but we don’t have hours of time on weekdays so it’s best that I help). Same on toilet training – while both were completely trained as toddlers, my younger one still needed frequent reminders until like last year.
And even if a kid is physically capable, many want the company and connection. It’s a little unusual for a 4yo to always and without dawdling get herself ready for school and bed! It seems your daughter is on the high side of “normal” and your son on the low end, but I agree nothing jumps out as concerning. Four is so, so young still.
anonM says
+1 to this being a large spectrum, even with kids with age differences. My almost 4-yo could probably do the whole morning routine alone, but my almost 6 yo who was recently diagnosed with ADHD cannot. It could just be two different kids, it could be she is advanced, it could also be that he has less focusing abilities right now for whatever reason. I’ve also noted my son asks for/needs more help on days where he also seems to need more attention. For some reason, some days he still just wants to sit on my lap and have me help him. It is easier to be patient when I see it with that outlook (not trying to act like I do this perfectly, as I certainly do not, but just sharing something that helps me get less annoyed!). I also find that things go better if they do all the “getting ready” steps before breakfast because once they leave their bedroom and bathroom, there are so many more distractions. Good luck!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I have two kids, almost 3 and almost 6, boys, and I’m still very hands-on. It could be gender (which I don’t like to blame, but I do see a pattern in the younger years from my own life experience/anecdata), it could be my parenting style, who knows.
My soon-to-be 6 year old son is still dressed by me on school mornings (he does it himself on weekends, but it’s a time thing). I potty trained this kid between 3.25-3.5, and there are still times where he needs some, ahem, reminders. I remember a pediatrician telling me that sometimes it takes boys until they are ~5 to really stop having accidents and whatnot during the day.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Maybe we coddle our kids, but they are still not fully independent at this stuff at ages 7.5 and 5. Older kid can dress himself, do his own shower, make his own lunch, etc., but whether he is willing to do so in an appropriate amount of time is a different question! So we help move him along. Younger kiddo likes the closeness and he’s our baby, so there’s that. I’m guessing they won’t want us there at age 12, so we’ll take the closeness now.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – “I’ll take the closeness now” – I think about this a lot.
AwayEmily says
Totally. We have a very “let them come to it on their own” attitude towards most things and it’s worked out fine. My 7.5yo just switched from getting bathed to taking showers, which I know is horrifically late for some families. She also only started brushing her own hair a few months ago — I’m sure she was capable of it much earlier, but I didn’t mind doing it. I still take off my 5.5yo’s pullups for him some mornings (yep, we also let them figure that out on their own) because he comes down all sleepy and it’s one little way I can baby him before he wakes up completely and turns into a grown-up kindergartener. I know this approach wouldn’t work for all families, but I’m just pretty confident they will figure it out on their own eventually and I’m not in a rush.
Anon says
This has been our attitude as well. My 5.5 year old has only started getting herself fully dressed recently and still likes our physical presence while she’s doing it. She showers, but we go in the shower with her to help her wash her hair. I don’t see the need to rush stuff like this in the name of independence. No one goes to college not knowing how to dress themself or take a shower, it’s fine to let them be little while they still want your help.
Anon says
i have twins as well and i think one of the blessings/curses of twins, is that sometimes it’s hard to know whats “normal,” but it is also an in your face reminder that there is a wide range of “normal.” i have fraternal twin girls. one is super independent like yours, and the other requires a lot more assistance (she is also in OT for help with fine/gross motor skills). i am just trying to roll with it, treat them as individuals and help as needed. for one twin I think it requires a lot more physical and mental energy to put her shoes on for example, than the other one and i am happy to help her rather than get frustrated/fight about it. and if the other one then wants help too, i do. i am not concerned that my kids will need me with them to go off to college. my more “advanced” twin still wears pull ups at night, whereas the other one doesn’t. they are 5.5. this is more about you readjusting your expectations than anything being wrong/advanced/behind with either of your kids
Anon says
Thanks all. This is good reframing. My girl just started doing all of this stuff of her own volition, which I think made it feel like these were all things that kids their age are doing naturally.
Anon says
My 4 year old can only dress himself when he’s angry at me. Otherwise, he doesn’t know how to take off his shirt. I think it’s going to be a couple years.
Anon says
LOL
Anonymous says
A crowdsourcing request. My husband and two of his best friends from high school want to do a family trip with all three families in 2025. There will be five kids in total (3 boys, two girls) ranging in age from 5-8. We are tying to find a place that is (1) direct flight from each of San Fran, Philly, and Charlotte, (2) has a great “kids camp” where we can send the kids at least one or two days, (3) is not in Mexico (that location is a non starter for all of us for personal reasons), and (4) the accommodations are actually nice, and the hotel is high quality. Current budget is $1200 per night per family for an accommodations. Exact time of year is TBD. Thanks for any suggestions you have!!!
OOO says
I’ve actually been looking for this type of destination too. Broadmoor in Colorado Springs is sort of midway to all of you. Fly into Denver
Anonymous says
Okay, so this is one of those nonhelpful answers…but you need a travel agent. It’ll be so much easier with coordinating families coming from all over. And they’ll have great recommendations. Happy to suggest someone who is perfect for this if you have a burner email.
NYCer says
+1. I also think a travel agent would be very helpful here. The direct flight requirement is going to limit your options I think. For example, needing a direct flight from SFO rules out a lot of the Caribbean which tends to be a popular destinations for resorts with kids clubs. I was going to suggest checking dude ranches in Wyoming, but then realized there are probably not direct flights from Philly or Charlotte to Jackson.
I agree with an earlier poster that somewhere in Colorado might be your best bet. I think some of the resorts in Snowmass and Vail have kids clubs, though I am not certain. The Broadmoor is also gorgeous, but I have never been with kids.
Anon says
+1 I was going to say there are tons of options in the Caribbean and lots of direct flights from Philly and Charlotte on AA, but it’s really hard to get direct flights there from SF.
Anonymous says
What about Whistler? Maybe in summer? Everyone always forgets about Canada!
Anonymous says
This sounds like the perfect scenario for “family camp.”
octagon says
Would you consider a cruise out of Miami or Houston? It doesn’t check the hotel box, but could be a nice mix of things for everyone to enjoy.
Anon says
I would also consider a cruise. It’s a great multi-family activity since there is a lot of room for togetherness but also a chance to break into smaller groups (each family, adults vs kids) and do your own thing for part of the time. Many cruise lines have great kids programs. Celebrity is really nice and feels upscale compared to many other mainstream cruise lines and is super kid-friendly. I wouldn’t do Disney unless you really care about the characters, otherwise it’s a waste of money (mid-range food and facilities at very high-end prices).
Anonymous says
Someone threw out the idea of a Disney cruise today on the group text. None of us have ever done a cruise of any kind or a Disney trip with any of the kids, so we’re really wading into the unknown with this option. I hear (but not from anyone I know personally) that Disney cruises are great, but I don’t know if that’s great compared to other cruises with kids on massive boats with 6000 other people, or great compared to the stress of planning a Disney parks trip (which seems to be so much work these days!!) or great compared to the vacations we’re all used to taking – which are nicer hotels and have gotten suites/separate rooms for our kids so that it actually feels like a vacation. On the other hand, I just have heard absolute horror stories about people getting sick with norovirus on cruises!!!! So, if anyone has insight into a Disney cruise, would appreciate it!
Anon says
I’ve done both Disney and non-Disney cruises with kids. Disney’s main advantage is the characters and themed branding. If you don’t much care about that, Disney is pretty comparable to Royal Caribbean, and last time I looked was about 3-4 times the price. I know you have a very big budget, but Disney feels like a waste of money to me unless you’re going specifically for the branded stuff. YMMV.
Definitely don’t do a 6,000 person boat. Both Disney and other cruise lines have smaller boats (like 2,000-3,000). The extra few thousand people make a big difference. Sickness (both gastro and Covid) is a real risk on any cruise, especially the giant megaships.
Anon says
Sarah Hart-Unger (The SHUbox) – blogger/podcaster on planning and work/family balance took one several years ago when her youngest was still in diapers. Caveat that her lifestyle is NOT aspirational for me – or many here – but that may be a good place to get some thoughts from an internet stranger.
I’m not in this moment interested in a cruise, but I have friends that swear by them for easy, multi-generational fun.
Anonymous says
My husband and I were anti-cruise and had a surprisingly great time on a Disney cruise with a large multigenerational family group. This was right before COVID hit and my big worry was norovirus. Everyone I know since then who’s been on a cruise has come home with COVID, but so has nearly everyone I know who has traveled at all in the past few months.
anon says
Beaches Turks & Caicos
Anon says
That was almost my recommendation too, but there are no nonstop flights from SF to Provo. It checks literally all the other boxes though (including direct flights to Philly and Charlotte) and is a really special place that the grownups loved as much as the kids. My family is going there for the third time next year.
ifiknew says
I posted last week about my son being on “probation” at his current program because hes hitting, pushing etc. Last week, we had one or more incidents tuesday, wednesday, thursday and they told me this at conference Friday morning. Friday was a good day with no aggressive behaviors. I observed the class this morning for an hour (through a window where he cant see me) and he had no issues during this time. However, the kids are all constantly touching each other. like dancing, singing and the teacher is doing a big group lesson and there are multiple kids putting their hands on another kids face, back, etc. At one point, two boys were on the ground tackling each other during dancing/singing time. Is this normal?? my son is definitely prone to this type of behavior when he was 2 and early 3’s, but we had seen a large pause in the touching anyone etc until these very recent incidents at school. I hate to pull him from the school if he’s going to encounter this at any preschool, but I know hands and feet to yourself is strictly enforced in elementary (right or am i misremembering from my childhood??)
Anonymous says
Seeking advice! My 6 and 4-year-olds have epic meltdowns during cleanup. For example the 4 year old played outside for a bit and left his toys out. I asked him to put them away and he melted down. My 6 year old played in her room for quiet time and that clean up involved a meltdown. I ensure it’s not an overwhelming amount to clean up but meltdowns persist. I’m wondering if my expectations for them to tidy up after themselves are too high at their age. I know ideally I get in and cleanup alongside them but that often results in just me cleaning up. Any insights or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Anonymous says
My 8 year old also throws a fit about it. Nevertheless, we require it. Such is life.
Spirograph says
This. My kids rarely clean up without a reminder, but they know that there is no screen time unless/until their room, the family room, and the entryway are tidy. Sometimes they stomp about it, and I just point out that they’re only delaying their screen time, and *I* don’t care whether or not they get to play on the computer before dinner/bed/whatever, so by all means, keep throwing a fit. Then I walk away. It’s effective about 90% of the time.
I had a cleanup playlist when my kids were younger. I’d put it on and make a game of how many songs would play before they had it all done. Literally all the songs were about cleaning up… there are a surprising number of them.
CCLA says
Yeah I’ve leaned into the “you don’t have to like it, but it has to get done, if you don’t do it now that means less time for [TV or other motivator]”. I think basic tidying at that age is super reasonable. My 7yo still needs reminders but if I do remind her she’s quite good at completing the task. 5 yo grumbles or melts down but does OK with assigned tasks like find all the magnets and put them away, find all the legos, etc. rather than just “clean up”.
Other things that help smooth the process for us: blasting music while we tidy, setting them up for success with a clear place for everything so they know where it goes (I labeled a bunch of trofast bins with both words and pictures so even at age 4 the younger one could see which is for cars, which is for animals, etc), sometimes when it’s a very small mess we challenge them to how quickly they can get it put away.
Anonymous says
We’ve tied it to their screen time and that completely eliminated any meltdowns or argument. At this point they know if they want to watch their cartoons at the end of the day on the weekend (they get two episodes on Saturday and Sunday at the end of the day while the adults make dinner), they need to clean up, and are very motivated to do so. During the week, we just don’t.
Anon says
i struggle with this because sometimes i feel like the screen time is as much for me as it is for them, and i once recall reading on this site, not to make a consequence something that will make my (the parent’s life) worse
anon says
Preach. We nixed screentime on Sunday after an epicccc midday meltdown (about nothing obvi) from our 5.5 year old. It was a very, very long late afternoon and night.
Anon says
We threaten to not schedule play dates if she doesn’t clean up. It feels like a more logical consequence (if your house is a mess, it’s in no condition to have guests over) and also doesn’t punish us as much.
Infant Daycare says
Starting to low key freak out about daycare for my to be born infant. I’m due in 2 weeks and we’ll need care starting sometime in March. I’m in suburban Boston. I have a 5 year old and we had a spot secured by now for her – maybe that was just dumb luck and my current experience is totally normal?
I’m on wait lists at 4 places, have been since June. 2 basically just told me we won’t get a spot. One isn’t calling me back since submitting paperwork and the fourth was all non-committal and saying call back after Jan 1.
Someone tell me it’ll be ok?!
We’re going to investigate some other centers but I can’t imagine the outcome will be any different. We COULD foot a nanny bill for a finite amount of time while waiting for a spot, but wow that would not be ideal. Thoughts?
Anon says
I think it’ll be ok. Daycares don’t usually offer you a spot nearly six months in advance, in my experience. I bet something will open up by March, and if not, you can get a nanny on short notice to cover the gap. If it’s a very short term situation, you don’t need to find the perfect nanny, just someone decent.
CCLA says
Yeah I think having a spot secured and guaranteed 4 months out is atypical, but IME the ones that were realistic were communicative about how the list was moving and what timeline was reasonable as you got close to where you are so I’d push on the communication. I’d follow up on the two that said no spot – do they mean no spot in March but realistically could be June, or are they like the bright horizons that I signed up for in my first trimester and they didn’t call me with a spot until she was 3 YEARS old? If the former, stay in touch and maybe plan for a short term nanny. In my area with crazy long wait lists, there were a lot of in home daycares that had quick availability but hours were like 9-5 which is not great for dual working parents, but maybe something that could be doable for a few months as an alternative if the nanny solution isn’t palatable. And it WILL work out but definitely requires persistence. I feel for you, childcare is just so hard, good luck.
octagon says
You definitely want to be the squeaky (polite) wheel here – check in with them starting early January, weekly or every two weeks. Ask if they move kids to rooms on any sort of set timeframe or if it is rolling. In our daycare, they moved kids twice a year, May and September, so the only way to get in off-cycle was if someone left the area. Once you have a better idea of their pipeline, you can decide if you need to think about a short-term nanny or look for other daycare options. Good luck, it’s so stressful!
Anon says
What does your local mom’s network say? How have they made it work?
We have a neighborhood place that says they are full and then if you call every day for weeks you get the spot when someone moves. It’s the only way. People are always amazed that people get spots there and ask how and they all say “I just called non stop”. So tips like that would be helpful for your local places.
I would 100% reach out to your local networks to find about typical sign up time frame and ask if anyone has connections at any of your favorite facilities.
Anon says
I’m currently on leave and returning to work in late January. No one will commit that I will have a spot, and said they will have updates for me in late December (so a month out). And three of the centers currently have openings in their infant rooms!
At least in DC, it seems centers don’t want to commit to having a spot because it could end up with them having to keep it open for a while. Since multiple centers currently have openings, I’ve decided to not worry about it. But I did find a few other centers that say they currently have opening as backups. (I somehow stumbled in to the perfect time to find infant care in downtown DC and in federal daycares since so many people still work from home at least part time)
Anon says
Gently, I don’t get this take. WFH does not negate the need childcare. Is this understood differently in the DMV? I used to live there pre-2020 and even on remote days, federal workers with kids had childcare.
I’m hybrid and that does not change my childcare needs.
FVNC says
They’re probably looking for care in the suburbs where they live, rather than DC, if they’re not commuting full time to their downtown offices. I’m guessing that’s what Anon at 2:35 meant.
Anon says
Exactly! I’ve heard it’s hard to find care in the suburbs. But since people aren’t commuting into DC every day, the DC daycare’s have lots of openings compared to pre-Covid. Instead of competing with commuting workers and people living downtown, you’re only competing with people living downtown for spots. .
Anon says
I know every market (including city vs suburb) are different, but if you’re looking for a datapoint: in Boston proper we got off the waitlist when baby was 8 weeks, ~8 weeks before we needed the spot. This was about a year ago.
Anon says
If a nanny is expensive, you might start looking for a good home daycare. They tend to fill spots later than large daycares and can have fewer germs, as there are fewer kids.
OP says
Thanks, all. This is helping my nerves. Sounds like the situation with DD #1 was unique so we’re not entirely out of luck this time around.
We could afford a nanny but we just have a number of other Big Life Things happening this week, including finding out of DH has a job after February (his company is being acquired – ughhh). That variability in income is unnerving, esp when thinking of committing to a nanny. Appreciate all the (fast) perspective!
Anon says
I’m very big on saving, but you can definitely rob Peter to pay Paul in a short term situation like this. My husband and I are comfortable but have modest incomes compared to many here and we cut way back on retirement savings for the four months we had a nanny to bridge the gap between paternity leave and daycare. I wouldn’t have wanted to do that for years but as a very short term thing it was fine.
Anonymous says
Ugh we are potty training and my husband is terrified of p**p accidents. He’s a SAHD right now, but he basically is doing as little as possible with potty training because he hates germs/bathroom stuff. I’ve been fine being the bathroom person for the last 3 years (he does a lot of other stuff, like bath/food/bedtime), but now it’s getting annoying.
Anon says
Speaking from experience… that stress creeps down to the kids, and then they have their own hangups about 2, which makes training take ever longer.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Poop is just part of parenting. I think he’s just going to have to get over this! I’m no fan of vomit, but if it’s my kid, then it’s part of the job.
Anonymous says
With potty training, the only way out is through.
Anonymous says
“Babe get it together. You’re a stay at home dad. This is your job.” Don’t let him suck