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Anon says
I have COVID and my kids will be out of school until Tuesday. (Scream) That is all.
Cb says
Oh no! That was us last week. Fingers crossed its shortlived.
Anon says
Oh no! Hope you have a speedy recovery and no one else gets it.
Anon says
Ahhh. I’m pinkeye and chest cold mom from yesterday, and turns out I have Covid, too! For the first time, which is remarkable since my husband works in NYC. Luckily, my DH is working from home the rest of the week to help with toddler, but he’s leaving on an important work trip Saturday (if he’s testing negative.) Now to see how many of my kids will fall…
Anonymous says
*hunger games salute* Good luck, I hope you have a mild case and no one else gets it. And that the weather allows for extended outdoor time for the kids… I find I go craziest when we’re all just in the house on top of each other.
Anon says
Hugs. My 4 month old has it so I’m just waiting for the rest of us to topple over like dominos.
Anonymous says
I know several people whose babies had it recently and they didn’t catch it. I think there might be something to the idea that infants are less contagious. Fingers crossed for you!
Anonymous says
Question for the group. Are your daycares requiring 10 days out? Mine just said as much and I think it’s absurd. I think they may be following CA licensing guidance but I am not sure.
Not to be purposely inflammatory but it seems that we should learn to live with Covid as we have with the flu. Keep kids out of school until symptoms resolve as you would with any other virus. 10 days out (or even 5 when symptoms have resolved) is bonkers to me.
Anonymous says
I think it should be at least 7 days for flu and RSV and until they test negative for COVID, for day care and for school. My kid has picked up the flu and RSV at school already this year and I am so fed up.
Anon says
That’s a long time. Kids will miss weeks of school every year. This doesn’t seem practical especially for older kids who need to learn academics.
Anonymous says
I keep my kid home when she’s sick. She gets sick more often than she should because other people don’t keep their kids home, and teachers work while sick. Her total absences would be fewer and her learning would be better if she weren’t sick so often.
Anonymous says
They won’t miss weeks of school if they aren’t getting sick as often because other kids aren’t coming in contagious.
Anon says
But there is a lot of pre-symptomatic tr@nsmission for all these viruses – making kids stay home for 7 days isn’t going to prevent people from getting sick.
Anonymous says
It will sure as heck reduce tr@nsmission.
Anon says
Yes. My doctor told me current practice is stay home for 7 days from symptom onset (which is likely before the positive test) then mask in public until you get two negative home tests 48 hours a part. Obviously babies can’t mask, so I can see having a longer isolation period for them. I’d like a policy of one solid week before returning to school.
It’s annoying…but you don’t want to inflict that annoyance on other families (or the poor teachers who must be exposed again and again)
Hmmm says
The realistic impact of this is that no one will test for flu or RSV.
Kids are exposed to germs at daycare. Same goes for school. It’s just life.
Anon says
Our daycare still requires 5 days out, then a mask for another 5 (not sure what they do for kids under 2 who can’t mask – maybe 10 days out?)
Public school has no exclusion for Covid. You can come back as soon as symptoms have resolved and fever has been gone for 24 hrs.
Anon says
What does “symptoms resolved” mean? Coughs can linger for weeks. I’d rather have a concrete day policy, even if long, than have to trust other parents’ view of “resolved”
Anon says
Cough isn’t normally considered a “symptom” for school. Ours has a list of symptoms that mean you need to stay home and it’s fever, vomiting, diarrhea and a rash unless the doctor has looked at the rash and cleared you to return.
Anonymous says
So do you think kids should stay out for weeks while they have a cough? Assuming it’s mild of course.
My kids have coughs and runny noses for probably 50% of the year. If I had to define symptoms resolved as no cough or runny nose they’d be out of school constantly. They are already out constantly with bouts of strep, pink eye, general colds, etc.
When I say symptoms resolve I mean fever free for 24 hours, any major cough or runny nose has turned to mild, and they are acting like themselves. My kids certainly go back at that point per daycare guidelines and I’d like us to reach a similar point with COVID.
I understand that in an ideal world kids would stay home until all symptoms are truly resolved but it’s just not possible. I also think that parents essentially need to accept the fact that their kids will encounter mildly sick kids at daycare. If they don’t want to then they have to figure out how to get a nanny or stop working to care for them.
My coworkers kids with a nanny or a grandparent caring for them are rarely sick. My kids in full time daycare are sick far more often. I’ve accepted daycare is the right choice for our family despite the extra colds. Especially since the kids are supposed to get it either now or elementary school. My kids are not there yet so we’ll see if that remains to be true but that is what I’m banking on.
Anonymous says
No, I don’t want your runny-nosed kids in class with mine. Lingering coughs are a different matter but snot is full of germs.
Anon says
I think it’s very odd to expect kids with runny noses to not be allowed in daycare, although I know it was a policy at some places during the pre-vaccine stage of the pandemic.
We always kept our kid home in accordance with the daycare’s policy (fever and vomit free for 24 hours) or if she was feeling lethargic and just didn’t seem healthy. But a happy, high energy kid with a drippy nose was going to school, and that’s the philosophy of 99% of daycare parents I know. I don’t see how daycare would be practical for working parents otherwise.
Anon says
No I don’t think they should stay out for weeks with a cough, which is why a concrete policy like “five days after positive test” is useful.
I have Covid right now and likely have all week and I haven’t had a fever, so that metric of returning would be useless. I also have a very minor runny nose, but I do have a cough!
Anon says
Serious question: if you are saying kids should stay home with a runny nose, how old is your kid?
Anon says
My Covid cough lasted over a month and I had a pretty mild case. I think if you’re going to treat cough as a symptom that requires staying home, there has to be some time limitation on it. It’s not uncommon for even the common cold to cause a cough that lingers for weeks, way past the point when the person is infectious.
AwayEmily says
I feel like once a month or so we get a question on here asking about having kids further apart. I had two under two, and then a much bigger gap until the third one (who is now almost two). And as I was falling asleep last night I was thinking about some of the great parts about a bigger gap that I hadn’t expected, and I thought I’d write them here:
– When the baby does something cute, the older kids ALSO think it is adorable. Sharing that moment of “awwwww” with them is the best feeling
– Older kids can occupy baby/toddler while you are making dinner, etc
– They do figure out ways to play together! Kids are very inventive when it comes to play.
– Seeing the older kids taking care of the toddler when she gets hurt or is sad
– “Big kid” activities away from the toddler feel special
– And the biggest one of all — actually having the time and bandwidth to truly appreciate the toddler stage as opposed to just being in survival mode. The other night the big kids were doing something in their room on their own and both my husband and I were just sitting at the table with the toddler, watching her adoringly as she had her snack. I love that we have time to do that!!
Anyway there are lots of wonderful magical parts of having kids close together, too — maybe I will do another thread on that sometime soon! But I wanted to give a shout-out to the lovely parts of a bigger gap. There really are no wrong choices when it comes to kid spacing.
TheElms says
I love that you wrote all this out! Mine are only 2 years 9 months apart and as we approach 2 and 5, I can really see how older kids can be so great with toddlers. Mine mostly don’t along (yet, hopefully) but we do catch glimpses of them getting along / playing. Last night my older one pushed the little one around in her indoor car while I was cleaning up dinner for about 5 minutes and it was beyond adorable. And my older one gets so excited when the little one learns a new word.
Boston Legal Eagle says
That’s sweet :) Nothing to add from my end as mine are 2.5 years apart, but a bigger age gap probably would have made my time with my oldest’s toddler years easier.
Anon says
I *love* this. I can also chime in from a few years ahead of you of the fun of a bigger age gap. Mine are 11, 9, and a 4 yr old. My 4yr old keeps the big kids “young” — as the older are phasing out of Christmas and the Tooth Fairy, for instance, they have been able to pivot and embrace the joy of keeping the magic alive for the little one, right as the little one is really getting into the fun stage of understanding and believing. All the kids play together really well, and my youngest’s preschool teacher tells me all the time that she hears much more about my son’s older siblings than she does about my husband or me :) Also, in a hilariously sweet moment, my youngest was saying at home that some boys kept knocking over the buildings he made at preschool, and at pick up last week, my 9 year old — very sweetly but firmly — told these boys to stop knocking over my son’s buildings.
The downside is that sometimes I feel like I’ve had a toddler underfoot for like 9 years so I’ve probably been more impatient with him at age 4 than is fair to him (it feels like we should be done with tantrums, even though I intellectually know that’s not true yet), and none of my friends have little kids anymore, so sometimes I feel like there was a spotlight on my son’s toddler antics when he’s around all these older kids (it should make everyone feel better who has parents or in-laws who use revisionist history when recalling raising their children, as my wonderful friends have revisionist history on their kids from like 8 years ago – I was around when their kids were 2 and 3! I remember what they were like! They also totally toddlered and threw tantrums, even if none of them seem to remember that now with their now 10 year olds!!). But both my husband and I didn’t like a toddler and a baby, so we knew we had to wait if we wanted one more. Ultimately, despite these very small complaints, I *love* the big age gaps — and there is very little rivalry between them, which I love.
Anon says
I have friends who have an 8 year relationship between their two kids, and they love it. It’s very different than when the kids are ~3 years apart or less, I don’t think they’ll ever really “play” together the way similar age siblings do, but they are very sweet together and there’s probably just as much chance of a close relationship in adulthood. And much less squabbling.
avocado says
One of my daughter’s good friends has a brother who’s eight years younger and their relationship is adorable. They get along well and genuinely enjoy cheering for each other at events and performances, whereas siblings who are <=4 years apart generally seem to resent being dragged along. He is the “official little brother” of the girls’ entire social circle and they all make efforts to include him. It will be interesting to see how he adjusts to the only child lifestyle when his sister goes away to college in the fall.
Anonymous says
I love this! We are one and done, but if things had worked out so it made sense to have two kids I would have wanted to have the second when the first was around 8 for all of these reasons.
Anon says
Ha, yeah, I have a 6 year old and consider myself 99% one and done but sometimes I wonder ‘what if’ and these threads about larger age gaps are always interesting.
For us I think ~3-3.5 years would have been the “right” age gap. Two under 3 felt too close together for me, but once our kid was 4 she was easy enough that it felt daunting to start over and I didn’t want a new baby to cause me to miss out on all the fun of the early elementary school years, which I (correctly) anticipated would be my favorite parenting stage. But a 3.5 year gap would have required us to try during peak Covid, and with an almost 3 year old who was making me question whether I’d made a huge mistake having even one kid, so it didn’t happen. I wish women weren’t so limited by biology because I can totally see myself wanting a second when my first becomes a tween, but I’ll be almost 45 then.
Anonymous says
I know someone who had a “surprise blessing” third baby at about that age. I just look at her with awe and wonder where she gets all that energy. I think it is actually helpful in her career because her job involves a lot of relating to people and with a preschooler, a high-schooler, and one in college she can connect with every demographic from young parents to empty-nesters.
Anon says
I know someone who had surprise twins when her then-only child was a senior in high school! She must have started much younger than me though.
Anon says
i have twins and didn’t want more than two kids, so this became irrelevant for us, but i always wanted a 5+ year age gap. it seems less competitive to me.
busybee says
haha right? Over here rocking that 13 minute age gap
Anon says
Mine are 6 years apart and while it wasn’t Plan A, it’s actually been great. The older one was more or less able to entertain themselves during the very intensive baby / toddler years, and now that they’re 9 and 3, the 9 year old can (when he wants to) be actually helpful. I see it as they’ll both get a chance to be only kids – he from birth to 6, she from 12 to college. It does stretch out the kid-intensive parts of our lives, as we’ve in young kid mode for almost 10 years now with just a brief gap in between kids, but it’s honestly been fine.
Moreover I don’t know how you parents deal with 3-year-olds if you have more than one kid needing attention at that same time. 3 year olds, God love ’em, are the absolute worst.
Anon says
try having two of them at the same time…ha
Anonymous says
This is part of why we didn’t have #2–because it could very well have been #2 and #3 at the same time and I don’t have the constitution for that.
anon says
We have twins, so our “planned” age gaps clearly went out the window from the beginning, but seconding everything you said about the perks of a big age gap. I always thought 2-3 years was more ideal (same spacing as me and my sibs), but we had toddler foster twins when my bio twins were 6 and it was really awesome how helpful the big kids were, how well they could all 4 play together, how much easier it was to appreciate toddlerhood the second time around, etc.
Anon says
My kids are 4 years apart – it’s all I know and it wasn’t my first choice but I truly love it. Especially now that the baby is closer to 2 and more active, they play together so cutely and the big kid is just so proud to show off her baby to her friends.
Anon for this says
We signed up our 3 year old and our 11 month old for their first swim lessons and start this weekend! Give me all your tips and tricks. They’ve never been in the water, and these are parent/child classes (so my husband and I will both be in with the kids).
We live a 10 minute walk from the pool in the cold Northeast.
What gear do I need? What do you wish you knew?
If relevant – I’m the designated bath giver in our family, so to the extent that the kids need to come into the changing room, I’ll have both of them. My husband can’t help with that (it’s an OCD thing – he changes diapers, does potty training, etc., but some things are just tough for him and so we work around that).
Anon says
My advice is don’t do it unless it actually sounds like a fun thing for you and/or your husband. They aren’t going to learn very much at this age, and it isn’t necessary to learn how to swim this young, especially if you live in the northeast and don’t swim often.
NYCer says
+1. Are you planning to walk to and from the pool? That makes it even more challenging in the winter. I would be strongly tempted to wait until late spring or summer when it is not so cold.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree. We didn’t do swim lessons for our kids until they were out of that required parent-kid swim stage. Kids pick it up so much quicker as they get older. You will be holding them in your pool for a long time anyway. But if it does sound fun for you all, or it gives you an activity to do, then go for it! But know that it’s not for actual swim learning.
Anon says
Ha yah, I don’t mean to pile on but my first thought was this might be a way to burn energy with a toddler, but I would stay home and snuggle that baby! I had my two oldest in swim lessons this summer, while I entertained the toddler on the side (because I’m not paying those fees to make *myself* get into a pool) and there was a class of women with very small babies at the same time. I definitely assumed they are first time moms…it was very cute to see, good for them but not for me!
Anonymous says
The hardest part for me was always getting myself dry and changed while kiddo was crawling or running around the locker room. Our solution was that I’d get kiddo taken care of, DH would wait by the locker room door, I’d hand her off, and then I’d take care of myself. I never showered there – always at home. So I just had to finish drying off and change.
Spirograph says
Bring an extra towel to put on the floor of the locker room so they can sit there while you’re changing. You don’t need any gear beyond swimsuits and a swim diaper, but you do need a full change of dry clothes afterward if you’re planning to walk home in the cold. Divide and conquer the changing — you take one kid, DH takes one kid. Do not bother with the family locker room.
(Also, I agree, don’t do it unless you think it’s fun. Parent-and-me swim lessons are not much different than taking your kid to rec swim.)
Anon says
I’d wait until the weather is warmer to avoid walking home with wet hair, if they won’t tolerate being blow-dried. Otherwise, swimming lessons have been pretty painless for us. I don’t really have any special tips other than the obvious one to wait to put the swim diaper on until right before you get in the pool.
Anonymous says
SO important! Swim diapers DO NOT hold in the pee, just poop. If you want to change into the swim gear at home, put a regular diaper over top of the swim diaper.
Anonymous says
At those ages it’s more about water acclimation than swimming. If you have a bathtub at home, you don’t need to take swim classes unless it’s somehow fun for you (it was not for me).
Anon says
Ack, I admit I also fall on the “don’t do it” unless it gives you great joy at that age. I have always been worried about drowning prevention, so I feel like I have tried every iteration of swim class available. I put my oldest two in the rec classes at that age and it was a total bust. The pool at the local high school was freezing, so they hated it. It took so much time to dress/undress and everyone was miserable. We moved them to one of those swim schools that advertises a super warm pool, and the kids loved the classes — but I swear the business model is to have fun/splash around, but not really teach actual swimming. The kids want to keep coming back bc it’s like bath water, but neither kid actually learned how to swim at this place. For my youngest, at age 3, I invested in the super intensive drowning prevention classes that are supposed to teach toddlers how to swim, as I was worried about him slipping away from me at the pool over the summer if I had all 3 alone. It was every day for a month or two, and he probably would have been able to float if he fell in the pool, but he didn’t even come out of that insanely expensive, very specific program knowing how to swim.
Ultimately, none of the kids actually figured out how to swim independently until around age 5, and it happened for each in the shallow end of a pool where they could “try” out swimming underwater on their own terms. After that, we invested in swimming lessons to refine their strokes and technique. So if your goal is to do something fun with your kids in the winter, and the classes give you joy — definitely go for it. If your goal is to teach your kids to swim, I’d wait a few years :(
Anonymous says
As a counterpoint: both of my kids have been in swim since c. 1 year old. They were fully water safe (could roll over, get to the side, pull themselves out) by age 3. We did 15-minute lessons year-round every Saturday. Fully worth it to us, a CA family with a pool in the backyard (lessons were at a facility with a 92-degree pool, though.)
It just depends on the place and your kid.
Anon for this says
Additional information:
We were planning on walking to/from the pool. I was not planning on blowdrying anyone’s hair – I was going to throw on fleece lined hats and clothes and then bathe everyone when we get back home.
We could drive but it seems silly given how close the Y is to our house.
I know they aren’t going to learn to swim – it’s for water exposure and a family activity. Not a ton of other activities around us in winter so we figured we’d do this since it is indoors anyway.
We can’t divide and conquer the changing. My husband is not going to be okay with taking a kid into the locker room. I’ll have both kids with me.
Anon says
I guess it depends on if you’re like northeast-as-in-Maine or northeast-as-in-DC, but a walk home with wet hair could be pretty brutal in January in many parts of the northeast. I’m in the southern Midwest so our winter is milder than New England, and at this time of year we drive to the pool that’s basically across the street from our house because the walk home would be so unpleasant. And my kid is a lot older than yours.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Boston here and I agree if you’re in the New England area. OP, can you at least stay at the Y for a bit longer after the swim lesson, so kids can dry off (maybe in the daycare while you get some time to yourself!), and you make the trip worth it? Walking to and from in the cold for a 30 min swim lesson wouldn’t be worth it to me, personally.
Anonymous says
Yep, I did swim lessons as a kid in NH and my hair would freeze just from the walk out to the parking lot to get in the car.
Anon says
I grew up in Alaska and was on swim team starting at age 6 and my hair was frozen what felt like half the year. It was fine.
Anonymous says
I have heard stories of frozen ponytails snapping off.
Anonymous says
Then just do it! Wet hair and a hat is fine. I’d have you do the first kid lesson, so then you can take that wet kid and get it changed during the second, hand a dry kid off to him so you can dry off the second.
Anonymous says
We always enjoyed winter swim lessons as a family activity.
Does your pool not have a family change area? That’s standard where I am. Also confused why your DH can’t take one of the kids?
Anonymous says
I’m also confused why the husband can’t take one kid. My kids had a similar age gap and the headache that is trying to change two small children and myself out of swimsuits was why we didn’t go to the pool in the winter much when the kids were little. If he’s physically unable to get a baby/toddler changed that’s one thing but if he’s nope-ing out of this… ymmv but I would not be OK with that.
Anonymous says
She says in her original post that he has OCD and refuses to bathe/change them. That would be enough to make me say “no way” to the idea of swim lessons for two kids at once, but to each her own.
Anon says
Just to add some explanation as someone with a spouse with OCD. Sometimes having a partner with OCD comes with challenges that cannot be easily explained to others or may be viewed by on-lookers as strange. OP says she wants to do this and presumably her husband is on board. As the person who doesn’t have OCD, sometimes you don’t want to just say no to everything just because it will be harder on you than it otherwise would be for others.
OP – I think you have some good suggestions to stagger lesson times if possible or to try to dress each kid and then give them to your husband. Can he wait with one while you change the first and then wait with both while you change? Is the facility large enough that there is an area the dry people can go to while they wait?
Anon says
In this case, I would invest in some really nice warm coverups so that you don’t feel like you need to rush into the locker room to change and you guys can take turns. There are really warm fleece lined robes with a hood that would keep them warm immediately after they get out of the pool. Search Dry Robe to see what I’m referring to — there are lots of iterations of this, depending on how much you are willing to spend. If you absolutely have to take both kids into the locker room, you could put the baby in the robe then put the robed baby in a carrier so both of your hands are free. Help your toddler change, then walk back out to your husband, go back and change your baby and yourself. Or, more likely what I would do is just change your baby right by the pool (no need for a locker room at this age unless you are dealing with #2), while your husband goes into the locker room, then hand him baby when he comes out, and you and the toddler go in to change together while they wait for you.
Anon says
Or, instead of a carrier, a stroller would work too! Kids are pretty freaking resilient, and I’m sure other parents have side eyed me as my toddlers ran into preschool without a coat on (we always bring the coats to school, but I’m not fighting them for the 50 foot walk from the car to the school). I would not have worried about walking home with wet hair and hats, I would just give yourself plenty of time so you can stagger changing with your husband and lots of warm fleecy base and mid layers. Maybe even one of those heavy duty wagons would be good for both kids to get to/from the pool, and a place to stash all your warm clothes once you are actually at the pool. Change the baby in the wagon in a discrete corner, then let your husband hang with the baby while you and the toddler change.
Spirograph says
I agree that a fleece hat is a fine substitute for blow-drying hair, but you don’t mean to throw on clothes over your swimsuits, right? Winters are mild and live a 10 minute walk from the YMCA, but there’s no way I’d walk home with clothes over a wet swimsuit in the winter. It’s uncomfortable!
You’ll have to fully undress the 11 month old anyway to get the swim diaper off. The shower is not the hard part, post- swimming (unless your Y doesn’t have enough showers and they’re all full after the kid swim class). Once everyone’s naked, it’s easy to do a quick soap and rinse. It’s the getting dressed again that’s the pain with babies & toddlers.
Anonymous says
Silly to drive for such a short walk is true for you, but for two little kids, just too much.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Not to pile on but don’t feel pressure to do it unless you want to. I had DS #2 (currently 3) in swim classes from 17 months to just shy of 2 and…it was more of an annoyance to get in/out of the water with him, deal with swim diapers (ew), changing, etc. I do plan to put him in a class at ~4 for fun without ME having to join.
Anonymous says
Why can’t he get one child changed into their bathing suit? You don’t have to give them a bath at the pool?
A baby is just for fun. So unless taking your infant swimming sounds fun to you skip it.
You don’t need gear. Just towels and bathing suits.
Anonymous says
So. Are they in the same class? Surely not? So will he just hold a cold wet kid waiting for you to finish with the other or something?
Anon says
They’re probably in the same class. Parent-child classes are often 0-3, and the parents have to be in the water too.
Anon for this says
Same class. 9-930am.
Oh, which brings to mind another thing. Do you feed kids before swim class? I’m assuming yes…but ours generally wake up 8-815am, so we’ll obviously be waking them up earlier for class. I was thinking 7am, breakfast, then head to pool?
Mary Moo Cow says
I would either do a light breakfast and make a morning outing of it with a stop for a special snack on the way home or regular breakfast when you wake them up. YMMV but my kids do better when there’s less downtime (e.g., time to stall and get into playing mode) so I would get myself up and have the bag packed and then get them up around 8 to leave at 8:40-ish.
Anonymous says
Yeah that sounds fine!
Anon says
I don’t see the need to wake up kids for an activity like this. They wake at 8:15 (at the latest) you immediately dress them in swimsuits, give them a cup of milk and a granola bar, and walk out the door at by 8:45. If you wake them up, then you have an extra hour to fill (with cranky kids?) just to have a half hour of “fun” and that doesn’t seem like a good trade off! Maybe wake them at 8, at the earliest.
Anon says
Yeah, I wouldn’t wake them up over an hour early! Both because it’s unnecessary and because kids this age need sleep more than they need swim lessons. I’d do what the 11:08 poster suggests. They can even eat on the go, assuming you’re pushing them in a stroller to class. I have a night owl kid too and we did breakfast in the car on the way to preschool many times.
Anonymous says
So I live in NYC and always took transit to/from the pool; I don’t think a 10 min walk with wet hair is a big deal. Just bring a hat for everyone. I liked to have my son put on his suit at home then clothes over it, bringing underwear and a towel to change after. You can’t do that for the baby due to swim diapers of course. After the lesson, I never showered either of us when he was little – too hard – but I know some people feel strongly about that. You may need a way to contain the baby while you get dressed after the lesson; can you bring a stroller into the changing room? If you have 2 parents, I would be tempted to dress both kids while you stay in your suit, pass them off to your spouse, and then get dressed yourself. I loved a towel poncho from post swim lesson dry off – we had one from IKEA.
Anon says
As a counterpoint: I signed my then almost two year old up for swim classes, and we had an AMAZING time, although obviously no, she did not learn how to swim after six half hour sessions in the pool, haha. She loved being in the water, but definitely not all the kids in her class did, so just be mindful – if your kids hate it, I don’t think there’s a need to push them. At our gym, it was very easy to get into the family lockers to change into swim stuff before class, but a much longer wait afterwards (since all the classes let out at the same time). I tried the women’s locker room a few times which was faster, but less privacy unless I again, wanted to wait for a bathroom with a lockable door. For us, the exercise exhausted my kid so she always fell asleep in the car on the way home, not necessarily all that convenient. Have a bag for wet stuff. If husband can’t help with the dressing room stuff, then it’ll be more of a pain in the butt – I agree if you can hand off one or both kids at some point it will be SO much easier when trying to get yourself dried and dressed. We always changed at the pool into the swim diapers since we had a longer car ride, but when I asked for advice, some suggestions were to wear a swim diaper and then a regular diaper on top that you could just take off easy peasy.
Mary Moo Cow says
We wear our bathing suits under clothes and pack undergarments. I store the dry clothes in a wet bag because my kids inevitably dig through the family bag while they are dripping wet. Echoing what others have said: bring a towel for the floor, know that it will be a circus. I skip the shower at the Y and spray on leave in conditioner/detangler (like Honest Co. and SoCozy Swim). Also bring pool/locker room shoes: DD6 recently chose to wear her Ugg boots instead of Crocs and was crying once she put her damp feet in them. I drive so I wear my pool shoes, but if you’re walking, you’ll probably want to bring them along. Also low expectations: someone will open the changing room door while you are half dressed, they’ll whine and shiver, you will be wet because you are the last to get dressed, etc.
Just a voice for do it if you want! It gets everyone out of the house, and yeah, it’s messy and cold and they’re not learning how to swim, but you have to fill the time somehow.
DLC says
Goodness! Ignore all the naysayers! If you’ve signed up and you’re going to do it, then don’t let the negative comments here get you down. I think swim lessons fall firmly in the “good for you, not for me!” camp, particularly in the winter.
On my end, I like winter pool time, whether it’s lessons or just going to open swim – it gets us out of the house in an active way at a time of year when just getting outside seems like a heavy lift. And having it scheduled, like swim lessons, makes me more likely to go.
Anon at 10:33 has similar advice to what I would say. Although I’m a “shower at the pool” type of person so that I don’t have to worry about it once we get home – we’re going to rinse off afterwards anyway so it’s just as easy to shower too. My kids don’t love showering, but I tell them it’s part of going swimming so they put up with it.
A snack for after the pool is essential for us – also works as a bribe to get the kids in and out, showered, and dressed. Hot chocolate in a Thermos?
In my swim bag we had: Towel ponchos for the kids (a must!), towel for me, an extra towel to stand on while changing, shampoo/soap, lotion (especially during winter), googles. If your kid has long hair, maybe a turbie twist or some kind of hair towel.
You got this! It will probably be super chaotic the first time, but I’m sure you’ll figure out what works for you.
Anonymous says
+1 for turbie twist for you and/or kiddos. Put it on immediately after getting out of the pool.
Anonymous says
First, “swim lessons” for a 3 year old and an 11 month old are….just playing in the water with kids. I would say 4.5 is the magic age to really learn to swim, and they can do it quickly! So if you won’t enjoy being in the pool as a family, then you might want a different approach. Similarly, I’d advise to just skip the lessons and just go swimming as a family for now.
But…since you’ve signed up, then I say (1) make sure you have swim diapers on the kid(s) that need them (2) have them shower after the pool and call it bath; don’t make them bathe again especially on a weeknight. Most swimming places have family locker rooms/showers so there’s a good chance you’ll end up in one of those with or without your husband. If he can’t manage the showering aspect, give him something he can do- pack/dry the swimsuits, get the kids dressed after they rinse off, etc.
anonM says
Don’t forget what YOU need to be comfortable for showering/on the walk home. :) Maybe for week one DH sits with one kid while you shower/change the other, and then swap. Showering/changing both at once, and getting yourself changed too may be a lot. Even if it takes longer, week 1 might be smoother that way. Also, bring kid shampoo so it’s familiar/doesn’t sting.
Anon says
Ignore the naysayers, sounds like fun. If you hate it, just don’t go but my kids loved having something fun to do inside during the long midwest winters and they’re champion swimmers now.
– Dress kids in the swimwear before you go
– Change yourself first after swimming – the three year old will want to run out immediately after getting dressed and you don’t want to be half-naked as they wander off
– Try on goggles for the 3yo beforehand at home so it won’t be totally foreign to them. Doubtful the 11 mo will wear them
– bring plastic bags for wet clothes and throw it all in the wash immediately when you get home so you don’t forget
Anon says
Check and see if your pool also requires rubber pants over the swim diaper. Ours did and were actually pretty specific as to the kind.
I pack all the clothes and diapers in a separate space bag so they are easy to find afterwards. And just be calm and patient. Post swim will take as long as it’s going to take. Give yourself lots of time.
Anonymous says
Wow, so many swimming haters! I love swimming (swim for exercise myself, love the beach and the pool, etc.) so I’ve had my son in lessons since six months. We are also a 10 minute walk from the pool in the cold Northeast right now. We have one kids so logistics are a bit different but here’s what I’d suggest in your circumstance:
1. 3 year old walks there; baby wear 11 month old
2. Everyone wears swimsuit + swim diaper under clothes on the way there
3. When you arrive, go straight to the pool. Not the locker room – don’t waste time with that. Everyone takes off clothes and puts them into the family bag you brought for after. You leave them on the bench or designated watching area while swim lessons are happening if possible.
4. Take out towels and lay them out on the bench so you are ready. Bring waterproof flip flops (eg crocs) and lay them out for you to wear.
5. Exit swim class, wrap baby/3 year old in towel first, get towels for yourself. Grab bag, put on shoes, proceed to locker room.
6. What happens next probably depends on if you have a family locker room. Kids wear swim diapers and you wear swim suit into shower for traction for holding baby. 3 year old rinses off, you hold baby and briefly shower them off. Take them out and use diaper changing station (if available – otherwise, use extra towel to change on the floor) to change baby while 3 year old gets dressed. Then, if you are in the family locker room, dad comes in and takes dry baby and occupies 3 year old while you change OR 3 year old entertains the baby if dad isn’t there OR you send 3 year old out to dad right outside locker room.
I would bring a towel for each family member, a plastic bag to keep wet stuff in, a bottle in case baby gets super hungry after swimming (mine did), a snack for the 3 year old in case he gets super hungry after swimming, and an extra towel or 2. Don’t forget diapers for after class.
Have fun! It’s the highlight of my week with my toddler!
Anon says
I loved doing swim lessons with my 3 year old and we continue to do them now that she is 5. I wanted her to be comfortable with being in the water, getting her face wet, and as a way to burn off some energy. Real lessons didn’t start until age 4 at the YMCA when they did the classes without parents. I’ve seen a number of kids at those classes screaming in terror at having to get into the water because they had not done the parent and kid classes and were not comfortable at all with the pool. My daughter only has access to a pool if it is on vacation, so I wasn’t worried about the “lessons” giving her false confidence. However, swim lessons in the cold are a hard no for me. Even if you are okay with the wet hair outside, you have to wrangle them back into their clothes first. They never really get all the way dry because their hair is wet and dripping everywhere. So, you are trying to get wet/damp kids into underwear/diaper, pants, shirt, socks, shoes, hat, gloves, coat. It was too much of a struggle for me.
Atlien says
bring stroller into locker room so as soon as you get baby dry and in to jammies/jacket you can strap her in and focus on you and the older child. or even roll her out/go hand her to dad and then go back in to locker room. repeat until you are dressed
Anonymous says
I live in the cold northeast, and hike to my car in the parking lot after swimming at the Y. It is a lot! Drive to the pool, and in fact, when you leave, one of you could go ahead and warm up the car and pick the kids up at the door so they do not need to walk with cold heads. These things matter. Gear–swim diapers for the little guy, swim suits and towels, sweats for clothing, easy on and off boots. the pool and instructors will have swim gear and such. I don’t think you will need goggles yet, but you might. Ask on the first day.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Paging SC (I think!) and/or anyone else with ideas!
NOLA is one of mine and DH’s favorite cities, and I’d love to introduce DS #1 (6) to it over a long weekend – thinking using part of spring break in Mid-March for this. DH and I have visited together and separately as adults, but I’ve never gone with a kid.
Can you share your recommendations? Will it be too crowded due to regional spring break? We don’t live too far, so I am familiar with the weather at that time. DS #1 loves eating/bakeries, animals (I’d love to take him on a swamp tour)…I don’t think the idea of jazz, second line, etc. would excite him but I hope he changes his mind once he sees it. :)
Anon says
I’ve been to NOLA twice in mid-March and it was fine. Mardi Gras is the thing you really need to avoid and that’s in February this year.
Definitely do a swamp tour and all the food, including Cafe du Monde. Riding in a horse drawn carriage would be fun. The children’s museum is really nice, WWII museum is great but would probably go over a 6 year old’s head. The aquarium is good. It’s a surprisingly good city for kids, IMO.
Anonymous says
I think it depends on the 6-year-old. I could see the earlier “home front” and strategy exhibits being boring for some younger kids, but the planes and the submarine simulator would probably appeal to most kids, as well as the battlefield displays with jeeps etc. It would probably help to read some books about WWII first; at around that age I was very interested in WWII because of the American Girl Molly books.
My kid loved riding the streetcar. We found the aquarium kind of meh but good as a rainy day activity. With a 6-year-old, the hotel pool will also be a big draw.
Anon says
Yes, great idea about the Molly books! My 6 year old got my Molly doll for Hanukkah and loves the books and it’s opened up a lot of conversations about WWII and war in general. And yes, hotel pool will definitely be a hit too.
Anonymous says
Not SC but we took our four year old a few years ago. We stayed in the garden district, close to Magazine. You obviously can’t bar hop, but most restaurants are accommodating to kids. We spent a day at Audubon Zoo, a day at Audubon park and a day riding the trolley car and eating beignets (DH visited the WWII museum that day so kiddo and I were on our own). We also visited the quarter but I’d skip that if I had it to do over again.
SC says
Yay! You can have a great time in New Orleans with kids!
– I doubt it will be particularly crowded. Our crowds are largely driven by events–conventions, sports, big tourist events. I don’t know of any major events this March that will draw out-of-town crowds. South Louisiana schools have breaks at Mardi Gras and Easter, neither of which falls in mid-March this year. I don’t know about northern LA and surrounding states, but I wouldn’t worry about it much.
– The Audubon Zoo is great for animal lovers. I recommend buying tickets for the train and taking it around to Louisiana swamp section, which is all the way at the back. There are lots of alligators there. The zoo also has a baby orangutang right now. I’d recommend this over a swamp tour, which is a ways out of the city and which, in my son’s words, is “really just sitting on a boat.”
– The Audubon Aquarium and Insectarium are pretty good. The building has been remodeled recently, mostly for the better. If the weather is nice and you have access to a decent aquarium where you live, I’d still pick the zoo over the aquarium and insectarium. But the aquarium and insectarium are more convenient if you’re staying downtown, and they’re a good choice in bad weather.
– The street car is always fun for kids. There is also a ferry that goes across the river and back!
– City Park is wonderful. There’s a lovely playground next to a Cafe du Monde. There are huge, old oak trees to climb (branches are low to the ground), paths and even trails to explore. If you want something more structured, you can pay for putt-putt, swan boat or bike rentals, an amusement park with a beautiful, antique carousel and a train ride around the park, and other state-fair type rides. There’s also a free sculpture garden if you have a few minutes to walk through.
– The Louisiana Children’s Museum is also in City Park. It’s not huge, but the upstairs exhibit on the MS River makes a visit well worth your time. The outdoor area is awesome too.
– Vue Orleans offers 360 views of the city and the river, plus a small but really thoughtful, interactive museum about the city. We went with my parents and son over the summer, and everyone enjoyed it.
– If your trip is a little longer and you want to see a real swamp (not just the zoo), we enjoy hiking in Barataria Preserve. It’s about 30 minutes from New Orleans but feels much farther when you’re there. It’s part of the National Park System and is mostly boardwalk hiking. The office has a little scavenger hunt for kids to see different animals. You’re almost guaranteed to see alligators, and we’ve seen rabbits, small snakes, all kinds of birds, frogs, etc. If you’re very lucky, the Louisiana blue irises will be blooming.
– The weekend of the 16th and 17th will be St. Joseph’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day. These are all local celebrations. The Italian Americans celebrate St. Joseph’s Day with elaborate altars, which you can walk in and see, and there’s a small parade that starts near the Convention Center and goes through the Quarter on the 16th. The Irish Americans have a medium-sized parade in the Garden District, which is accessible by street car. Assuming the weather is good (it usually is!), I love these parades with kids because they are smaller and less raucous than Mardi Gras.
– Food recommendations really depend on where you’re staying and what your family likes. For bakeries, Cafe du Monde, of course, and I’ve heard good things about Croissant d’Or. Happy to give more specific recommendations!
– You’ll hear jazz music almost anywhere you go–in the street in the French Quarter, at the museums I recommended, in the cafe at the zoo, etc. I’d also recommend finding a “jazz brunch” on the weekend if you have time. Second lines are more spontaneous. Traditionally, they’re a funeral procession, but now they’ve been culturally appropriated into weddings, marching between the church and reception. There will be 100 weddings downtown any weekend in March, so if you stay in or near the Quarter, you won’t be able to avoid them.
Anon says
What have your favorite spring break trips with elementary age kids been? Our spring break trip was just canceled and I’m trying to plan something quickly to replace it. We’ve gone to southern Europe and to Florida/Caribbean beach resorts in the past and I would love to do something a little more adventurous now that my youngest is in kindergarten. I thought about a Galapagos cruise but it’s so expensive and my kids have never been on a regular cruise, which I feel like we should probably do first to make sure they don’t hate it.
Anonymous says
My kids are 5 (kindergarten), 7 and 10 and there is no way I would consider a galapagos cruise! Good for you though! We LOVED the florida keys/key west last Feb break.
If you are thinking spring break and your 5 year old is the adventuring kind, what about grand canyon? Or if you want to do international, Portugal? Spain? Italy? Greece? Again, we are only just now considering dipping our toes into international travel and I think we are starting with Ireland or London but my middle one is not an easy traveler.
Anonymous says
Grand Canyon?
I agree with waiting with Galapagos until older. I did a horseback riding vacation in the Rockies as a kid that I loved but my sister was only 11 and she would have been borderline too young if she wasn’t an experienced rider.
Skiing is always fun as well. That’s our ‘go to’.
anon says
Grand Canyon is wonderful, but can be legitimately cold in March and April.
NYCer says
This does not really answer your question, but a Galapagos cruise is very, very different than a regular cruise, so I don’t think you necessarily need to do a regular cruise first to make sure your kids like it. It might be helpful to know if they are prone to sea sickness, but beyond that, they really aren’t that comparable.
NYCer says
I will add…. I would wait until your youngest is a bit older to do the Galapagos though!
Anonymous says
A Disney cruise. It was surprisingly relaxing for the adults and just straight up magical for the kids.
Mary Moo Cow says
Charleston, SC! You probably couldn’t make a full week of it because it won’t be warm enough for the beach, tho. We went last spring with an 7 and 5 year old and to my surprise, they loved it. Excellent food (including dessert cafes and ice cream), the aquarium, and window shopping on King St. were highlights. Patriots Point is fun to explore, especially if you have a kid who would like to explore a battleship.
Anon says
DH & I are actually going there for a couples getaway soon, but maybe we’ll have to go back with the kids!
Spirograph says
I would not consider a Galapagos cruise with kids that age. That trip IS on my bucket list, but when the kids are old enough that they don’t necessarily have to come with me.
We have enjoyed spring break cruises, though. We sail out of Baltimore and NYC, which are both easy drives (extra day in NYC to do city stuff is also fun). The kids love kids’ club, which gives me and DH some time to relax, and there’s plenty of family fun to be had at whatever port calls and onboard at the pool, cheesy shows, and just dressing up for dinner.
I want to do Grand Canyon and other Western US national parks in the next few years, but unless you do a lot of hiking, I’d be worried that a K kid doesn’t have quite enough stamina to do everything I’d want to do.
Anon says
Thanks. It was actually a Caribbean cruise that got canceled. I picked it for the ports and was having a hard time finding an alternative itinerary that grabbed me the same way, but maybe we should go just for the onboard experience even if the ports are blah.
Anonymous says
I think the Disney cruise idea is a good one. Caribbean ports are mostly blah but Disney’s island is fun.
Momofthree says
We just got back from the Occidental Xcaret in Mexico and had an awesome time! It’s an all-inclusive right next to the Xcaret eco-park which is amazing & was the right level to spend a few days with my 8 & 6 year old (and my 3 year old also enjoyed it). We also spent a few days traveling around the interior of the Yucatan peninsula where we would visit a Mayan ruin in the morning & then go to a cenote in the afternoon. Our kids had an awesome time & most cenotes also had rappelling or ziplining available. There was a great blog that I used called mexicocassie dot com. She also wrote a book about traveling with kids in the Yucatan that I found super helpful! The biggest pain of the trip was getting a rental car in Cancun, but otherwise we had an awesome time & would have spent even longer there if we could. Besides Chichen Itza, you can actually climb on the Mayan ruins & the book/ blog do a great job of mentioning different activities that you can do for a variety of fear/ adventure levels.
anon says
What about Costa Rica?
Anonymous says
All of the following were in April:
Olympic Peninsula and Victoria, BC – we stayed in Port Townsend and Victoria but I would stay in Port Angeles for the WA portion if I had to do it again due to driving distances. Might be too cold/wet earlier in the spring.
Venice, Italy and Rovinj, Croatia
Phoenix (very briefly), Sedona and Grand Canyon
This year we are going to Morocco, which I am excited about. A friend with kids went last year and said Moroccans LOVE children; they plied her 6 year old with gifts constantly and her family had a blast.
DCSMC says
My four month old will be starting daycare later this month, about a week before I return to work. I have two questions.
First, how should I use that last week of my leave? I’m planning to have the baby at daycare for shorter days that week. So far, I’m planning to nap, organize my closet and figure out what I have for work clothes, probably shop for some new clothes, and grocery shop. Other ideas?
Second, any advice on starting daycare and returning to work? This is my first and I have very mixed feelings about the return to work.
Anonymous says
Re. your last question, the day I dropped my 4-month-off at day care and went to the office was a happy and exciting day for both of us. I got to eat and use the bathroom whenever I wanted, and she got to spend the entire day scooting around on a padded floor with other babies and her awesome teachers. The only hard part was the frequent illness (I always got much sicker than baby) and if you go into it prepared to roll with the punches it’s much easier to deal with.
Anon says
It’s normal for it not to be a happy and exciting day though. It doesn’t mean it will always be this hard.
Anonymous says
It’s normal for it to be hard, but there is also a lot of social pressure on moms to feel guilty about leaving kids in day care and not a lot of messaging that it’s OK to love day care. Moms are expected to psych themselves up to be tearful and miserable. You can be happy about sending your child to day care and still be a good mom!
Anonymous says
I’ll give you the advice that I got here almost seven years ago: do not make any major changes (quit your job, take a promotion, move companies) until you’ve been back to work for a year. This might be a challenging time for you but your baby will be fine: day care means more people who love your child. You can do this!
Anonymous says
This is good advice. I actually did leave my job 1yr (to the day) that I came back from maternity leave. I’ve been a SAHM for 6yrs now, but I’m really glad I did give it that time to see how it worked. (it did not work – I truely don’t know how 2 people with in office jobs and kids do it year after year)
Anon says
I did something similar (plus also took one day a week off for the first two or three full weeks back) and really did not want to go back initially though I was never considering not going back. I was surprised by how quickly it made me feel like myself – I hadn’t even realized I wasn’t feeling that way! It was like I brought back an identity I had briefly quieted. It also emphasized my intelligence and management skills over my appearance, so I quickly felt a lot better about my post-baby body (which admittedly was fine but just a little softer). No tactical advice but will be keeping my fingers crossed that you find some unexpected silver linings like I did!
On how to use that week, I did short daycare days which really only gave me enough time for a workout or walk, brief errand, and nap before picking up baby. I did spend one day trying on all my work clothing to see what looked good vs. passably fit, and another day to go buy a few new outfits – between those two things it helped a lot getting out the door the first few weeks back at work because I knew which outfits to go for. Sounds very similar to what you have planned!
Good luck!
Anon says
Hugs, having mixed feelings is totally normal. It gets easier. Your plans for your last week of leave sound good to me!
Anon says
Block time on your calendar to pump (if you will be pumping). If you have flexibility, I maximized awake time with baby by picking up as early as I could (430/5) and log back on for a few hours after baby went to sleep.
Be prepared for baby to get sick. Try to line up backup care (grandparents, etc) and/or strategize with your husband now how you’ll deal with sick days.
Good luck! It’s hard to leave baby but I really enjoyed the adult time and having another purpose beside taking care of a newborn.
Anonymous says
Good luck!
I went back just a little over a month ago and was really dreading it- however once I was back it was great. It helps if you like your job- I would try to focus on the positive aspects of your job that you like and the people that you like that you didn’t see for a while.
In the first week I went to lunch with coworkers every day and relished being able to finish my meal without interruption.
To make things smoother in the first week at work, I did some dry runs where I got up and ready as if I had to leave the house. Also packed as much as I could the day before.
Brought some headphones for pumping (if you’re planning to do that).
Generally brought lot of stuff (snacks, extra shirt in case the baby vomits on me, breast pads in case I leak etc) – having all these items made it much more comfortable to be in the office environment.
Also bought a big pack of bottled water for my car in case I forget to bring my water bottle- hydration helps a lot with tiredness/exhaustion.
Good luck- you got this!
SC says
I think your plan of organizing your closet and figuring out what you have for work clothes and shopping to fill any gaps is perfect. I’ll specify shopping for new bras if needed. Also, if needed, drop clothes off at the dry cleaners, shoes at the shoe repair shop, etc. And get a haircut if it’s been a minute, restock any makeup or beauty products you use in your work routine, etc.
If you’ll be pumping at work, make sure you have all the parts you need, duplicates of the parts you need for when the originals get lost, and a way to carry everything.
ifiknew says
Birthday gift ideas for a 7 year old that loves art? We got her the crayola tracing pad in the past which was a big hit, but looking for some more creative options..
Anonymous says
My art-loving kid really enjoys getting a bunch of fancy papers, googly eyes, doilies, popsicle sticks, washi tape, cardstock, pipe cleaners, etc. to make random stuff out of. She also liked the book “Let’s Draw Happy People” by Sachiko Umoto.
Anon says
Mine is a bit younger, but likes most of the arts & crafts boxed kits she’s received. I’ll link a few specifically that were hits with her or her friends.
Anon says
https://www.target.com/p/paint-your-own-ceramic-butterfly-craft-kit-mondo-llama-8482/-/A-83914756 (and really any paint-your-own thing in general)
https://www.target.com/p/word-wear-personalized-jewelry-making-set-it-39-s-so-me/-/A-14432909 (fun fact, my kid cut out the picture of this girl and put her on the kitchen wall so she’s been staring at me every day for the last ~two years!)
https://www.target.com/p/window-art-kit-make-it-mine/-/A-79899272
https://www.target.com/p/creativity-for-kids-quick-knit-loom-craft-kit/-/A-79783509
https://www.target.com/p/creativity-for-kids-glow-in-the-dark-rock-painting-kit/-/A-79783504 (we’ve given this to a few friends, both boy and girl, and it got rave reviews from all of them)
Mary Moo Cow says
Kid Made Modern Kits from Michael’s, pencils and kits from Ooly, the flower STEAM kit from Crayola, or a Kiwi Crate. I like to go to Michaels and just browse for things like this. For an 8 year old that loves art, we recently gave the book The Hundred Dresses and a set of nice coloring pencils.
Anon says
there is the flycatcher smart sketcher. my kids got the less tech savy lakeshore learning version for their hanukkah. but it also depends what kind of art she likes – does she like drawing, painting, crafting, etc.? bc i feel like not all art stuff is the same depending on her interests
DLC says
Fashion plates were a big hit with my kid at that age.
Also for my kid a big empty drawing pad and markers got the most use. Sparkly or gel glitter pens, smelly markers. Also those scissors that cut things with decorative edges are fun. I preferred the open end stuff to kits. Though window cling/sun catcher kits are fun.
Anon says
Tattoo marker kit (comes with stencils).
https://www.amazon.com/BIC-BodyMark-Temporary-Assorted-8-Count/dp/B07MMZ8Y1V/ref=sr_1_6?crid=3FSPSIBWKHZE&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wTwoM6-Yu7PAV3G34zjfpJgDbc5IXzvq-kzl92ewDziLch3w750pmNMuEUngfHgIP5C7SaH-7jTWO-w0x-lAtw.T7ykPMLwrGvUcC8sLuFwhpDIdiJa0VVY8Ovi8OIDZa0&dib_tag=se&keywords=tattoo+markers&qid=1704921331&sprefix=tattoo+markers%2Caps%2C122&sr=8-6
Anonymous says
how-to-draw book. especially if she has another interest like animals, vehicles, etc. I feel like there’s a how-to-draw book for just about everything!
CCLA says
Book or podcast recs for helping super shy kids in early elementary? My sweet first grader has had such a hard time this year and is in tears from feeling too shy to participate in class and not finding friends. We’re looking into therapy but also looking for resources. I have pulled some of Dr Lisa’s stuff but most of that skews older. TIA
Anon says
Aw, poor kiddo. Not a podcast or book, but I’d suggest setting up one on one play dates since shy kids tend to find the group dynamics overwhelming. I’d treat it like dating honestly and just to try set up a ton of first play dates and then see who she clicks best with and might want to have over again.
Anonymous says
I agree here. Does your kid have previous daycare experience? My kids are quite shy but I daycare was pretty much exposure therapy. They are still not super comfortable out the gate but they’ve learned to accept it and adapt until they find their place.
So recreating that with play dates if possible seems helpful.
CCLA says
Yeah it’s weird. She was in daycare from the age of 4 months, in fact went through 3 daycares! Spent the last 3 years at the same one though, and was super tight with those kids and not shy at all. Not shy at parks. Nothing like this until middle of last year in K, we tried play dates and they were going OK but then she got into her first grade class where not a single one of the kids she was getting to know better was in her class this year, ugh. She was a little timid, we talked to the teacher, he reported she was participating well…and it’s just spiraled and came to a tipping point last night where she let out a bunch of things that were bottled up for a couple of months it seems. My heart is just breaking, sorry for the long reply. We’ll def try more play dates but it’s so tough since she’s timid to ask the kids and there isn’t a class contact list.
Anon says
Ugh yes, the lack of class contact info in elementary school is hard! When’s her birthday? I think in first grade it’s still decently common to invite the whole class to a party, and you can get a lot of contact info that way. You could also go through the teacher – they probably can’t give out other people’s contact info, but can forward a note to either the whole class or to specific parents you privately identify. I’m also pretty shameless about asking moms I know for the contact info of mutual acquaintances if my kid is interested in playing with the other person’s kid.
What kinds of activities does she do? Girl Scouts has been by far the best thing so far for making friends for my daughter. Our troop is school-based, so it’s a way to meet more kids in her grade, and you could invite some of the girls she clicked with last year to join even if they’re not in her class this year. The meetings (at least in our troop – I know it varies) are very casual and more like a big play date than a class.
TheElms says
It is not exactly what you are looking for but the book series Upside Down Magic has a lot of great language on being different, feeling like you don’t fit in, being a good friend, and discusses a lot of social situation stuff in the school context while also managing to be a fun, engaging story. I’m listening to it with my almost 5 year old as an audiobook in the car and we both really enjoy it.
CCLA says
Thank you, she loves reading so will check this out
Anonymous says
Poor baby. First grade is so young – could the teacher discreetly help to facilitate some friendships?
Allie AB says
Aww, that can be so tough. I think it’s worth trying to tease out why she is feeling shy. Does she have a worry about something? Is the class too loud/overwhelming? Does she need help connecting with another students?
My 3rd grader has struggled with some anxiety off and on for the past two years and when we finally figured out it was because the class was overwhelming we could come up with strategies that helped. Books like Ruby Finds a Worry and Violet Shrink helped.
My kindergartener has a very shy student in her class that is too scared to ask to play/join. The teacher has determined who that student would like to be able to play with and change seating arrangements to put those kids together to help them build relationships without putting the shy kid on the spot.
Anon says
have you talked to the teacher yet? if you have a good teacher i’d imagine he/she would want to know and probably has some ideas for you. i would also maybe play school at home, let your kid be the teacher and you be too scared to answer the question, get some books from the library about being shy/finding your voice, etc. there is also a good episode of the disney channel show princess sofia called “the shy princess,” which might speak to your daughter. and i can relate – one of my twins in kindergarten who has no trouble speaking up at home, lost her first tooth in the middle of class earlier this year, was bleeding, and was too scared to tell the teacher (mind you she lost her second tooth earlier this week and was bleeding and i think the whole neighborhood could hear her), the teacher was glad i told him and said that half the kids come in each day making up that they’ve lost a tooth because they keep a tally as one way to learn about numbers and want to be on the board.
CCLA says
Yeah, we have a couple of times but are planning on another one. Basically she told us a bunch of things yesterday that made it clear this was a much bigger problem than we initially thought. She’s a smart sweet kid that listens to rules and does well with academics so I think she just flies under the radar as not being a problem kid (which she’s not, but she’s not getting much support). I like her teacher and we’re setting up another conference soon.
Thanks all for the kind words and suggestions.
Anonymous says
Anyone have any Ireland travel recs with kids? Planning on Dublin and Killarney.
Lily says
We went to Dublin (following Edinburgh) in June with a 2 and 4 year old. We stayed at the Conrad Dublin and got adjoining rooms with my mom, who accompanied us. It’s a very nice hotel near St Stephen’s Green, but in hindsight I wish we’d gotten a nice Airbnb, which is what we did in Edinburgh and was great with kids (having a living room, separate bedrooms, and a kitchen, plus washing machine, was really great).
We spent at least an hour a day in St Stephen’s Green just wandering around, looking at the ducks and swans and playing in the playground, which is fairly basic but the girls loved and it was contained and secure.
If your kids are older than 6 or 7, I suggest doing the tour at the Little Museum of Dublin (near st Stephen’s Green also). Our kids were too little to enjoy it so I didn’t really get to enjoy it either, but the bits I did get to listen to/see were amazing).
We enjoyed walking around the area near St Stephen’s Green, going in and out of shops. We spent an hour or so at the Hodges Figgis bookstore. We also checked out both cathedrals (near one another) which was semi-interesting for the girls.
We hired a private driver with a nice 3-row van to drive us to the countryside (Wicklow mountains, Glendalough, some fancy estates) which was very convenient and low-stress. We had 2 car seats and strollers with us so it just made our day easier than trying to rent our own car or take a bus or train or group tour.
Three things we did not do (recommended here) but would have done if kids were older/we had more time:
-Zoo
-Malahide Castle
-Viking splash tour boat
Anonymous says
Thank you – this is helpful! We are doing a hotel in Dublin (airbnbs didn’t look that great for our dates) but a nice Airbnb in Killarney. We figure we can do laundry there!
Anonymous says
Late in the day but I need some birthday party ideas for a 7th birthday (end of February in Texas: so it could rain, snow, or be 80 and sunny). In the past we’ve done party in the park with everyone he knows, and bowling with a few friends. Is 7 too young for an sleepover? Any ideas appreciated.
Mary Moo Cow says
My DD is too young/immature for a sleepover at 8, and all the parents of all the friends I’ve polled are waiting until 4th grade for sleepovers, but YMMV.
7 year old bday parties my kids enjoyed: bowling, roller skating (renting out the rink for a private party and during open skate), ice skating, indoor rock climbing, trampoline park, animal shelter (activities, tour, snacks), cooking class, mad science (at home and parent-led, but we have a local company that does it at their facility). We were invited to but didn’t attend a private showing of Super Mario Bros.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t want to host a sleepover for a bunch of 7-year-olds. A pajama party where they get dropped off in late afternoon wearing their PJs, have pizza and watch a movie and play classic sleepover games like Twister and Mad Libs, then get picked up at 8 p.m., is a whole lot more fun for everyone.
Rock climbing and indoor swimming parties are fun if you don’t want to host at home. Our YMCA does both, and most climbing gyms will offer parties as well.
Anon says
I think this is probably dependent on your circles, but I’ve found most parents would not be ok with sleepovers at this age (I would! But I think I’m very much in the minority). If you do it, I think you should have a “sleepunder”option, so kids can join the party without actually spending the night.
+1 to the suggestions for locations above, also swimming pools. Honestly, I think most of the places that are popular in preschool still work for 6-7, but you just have more added options for big kid stuff like rock climbing and skating. My kid really wanted her 6th at MyGym and I was nervous people would think it was too baby-ish because I really think of it as a toddler place, but the kids all seemed to have a great time. So just do what he wants, I would say.