Accessory Tuesday: Tess Pump

I’m pretty sure my summer sitter sucks, but I don’t know how or if I can fix it, or I cut bait and find someone else.

I have 3 kids. They can be a handful if not properly watched, because they are 1, 3 and 6. They need an experienced sitter. They need an engaged sitter who can do “crowd control” type stuff and keep track of all 3 at once. I work from home a lot this summer and generally stay out of the way (my office is in another part of the house). But i’m around enough to watch that:
1. my 3 year old walks all over the sitter, bossing her around and generally being bratty. I’ve talked to the sitter 5+ times about correcting this behavior and making sure she is the adult in the relationship, telling her how we do discipline (time outs) etc. this hasn’t changed at all. Totally fair that my 3 y/o is the brat here (but no worse than the average 3 year old), but I’m comparing to other sitters who can say “you need to use nice words” or “you get what you get and you don’t get upset” etc.
2. My six year old has TWICE in the past two weeks BITTEN my 3 year old while this sitter is here. I have no idea how this happens. It never NEVER has happened with other sitters, and never with me or my husband around. From what I gather, the two kids are too close, fighting (today it was apparently over whose turn it was at aboard game and the little one stole the piece), and the sitter cannot/does not keep them separate. I know 3 kids is hard, but this last incident happened when the baby was asleep, so she was just dealing with a 3 and 6 year old.

I’m so torn- I can’t teach this person how to be a babysitter. She shows up when she says she will. She cleans up (enough). My kids don’t particularly like her– in that when she sits, they are like “eh, ok.” vs their eyes lighting up when other sitters come over. But I’m starting to feel like my kids aren’t entirely safe (from eachother). Is this valid?

FWIW, the sitter is ~20 and home from college. We’ve had many college aged sitters before but they’ve all been great with the kids. Heck, my 13 year old neighbor mothers’ helpers and she’s a million times better.

Ugh, I really don’t want to find a new sitter this far into the summer but I feel like I may have to. I straight up told her (when i heard the screaming across the house today and went to see what happened) that I need her to be able to keep my kids safe, and that when they are biting each other, they are not safe.

My son’s 9mo pediatrician appt is tomorrow. Anyone have insight into what milestones the doctor is going to ask about? Also any recommendations for questions I should ask? Just like to be as prepared as possible. Thanks!

I came back from maternity leave to my biglaw job a couple months ago. I’m supposed to be 80%, but am billing over 100% with people asking me to do even more. My husband (who has a government job) is picking up a lot of slack because I haven’t been able to get home before bedtime most days. I’m overwhelmed and feel like my previously under-control ppd is starting to spiral out of control again. I have applied to one government position, but don’t expect to hear back for a while. The thought of sticking it out in this job while I continue to job search makes me get a pit in my stomach. I think I want to give my notice and then job search while taking a little time off, but I’m scared. I want to keep working, so I don’t want to do this if it will tank my career. FWIW, I have several years experience in biglaw, went to HYS, and am not looking to land a particularly prestigious job. So wise hive, what do you think? Can I leave now, get a new job later, or do I need to stick it out through long hours and worsening mental health?

I recently read The Crane Wife essay and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve reread it twice now and I just keep finding new things to reflect on. Just thought I’d share.
https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2019/07/16/the-crane-wife/

To piggyback off of yesterday’s post on rising kindergarteners, I’d be curious to hear how others have handled the after school situation. Our oldest will be starting kindergarten in a few weeks, and her school has before and after care for a very reasonable price. We were originally leaning toward getting a sitter to pick up both her and her little brother (from daycare) and bring them home for a couple of hours before we’re done with work. My husband and I both have relatively flexible jobs and may be able to swing an early day a couple of times a week, meaning we could pick up the kids between 4/4:30. Otherwise, she’ll be there until 5:30 or so. Will my daughter be exhausted? She’s been in full-time daycare for years and regularly spends 10 hours there, but I know kindergarten is a different animal.