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I am really loving this adorable shirt dress by Boden. It’s cute on its own and comes in several colors and patterns, but I also really like how they’re styling it with a striped shirt underneath. The website describes the material as “slub cotton,” and it does look more casual in the khaki and denim colors because you can see more of the “slub” (?) element. The description also notes that the loops for the belt are “retractable,” so you can also wear it without it. I’m not sure what “retractable” looks like, but it seems cool! The dress is $98 and is available in regular (2–16), petite (2–10), and tall (4–18) sizes. Tara Jersey Shirt Dress For an option in plus sizes, try this shirt dress from 1.State. Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
In DC says
What gift should I give my baby shower hostesses who are going way above and beyond? I feel like spa gift certificate is the usual suggestion, but then that puts onus on them to have to schedule it and get around to going (I so rarely end up using gift certificates that I am wary of giving them). Honestly, I’d prefer to give them cash to offset the expense of the shower but I’m guessing that’s not on the table. Maybe a gift certificate to Uber Eats, since you can just do that from your own home? Thanks for any suggestions!
Anonymous says
Absolutely not cash. They are giving you a gift don’t turn it into a sale. Do you know them? Get them each a gift you think they’d like.
Anonanonanon says
I 100% agree re: the spa or massage gift certificate suggestion. I have a low success rate with actually using those, I’m embarrassed to say.
Does she have an office job? I find Uber Eats convenient for busy work days, so I’d love a gift certificate to that! I know Starbucks gift certificate is a generic idea, but if she’s a habitual Starbucks drinker she probably has the app and can easily load the gift card into her app and spend out of it while still earning rewards. That would save her a significant, regularly-occurring expense for a while!
If she has a gym membership, do they do gift certificates that she could use to either offset her regular membership fees or try a personal training session if she wants? Does she get a regular service somewhere (eyelash extensions, etc.) that a gift certificate would be helpful for?
tl;dr I agree spa certificates are tough to use, but finding a gift certificate that will cover an existing expense she has may be a great way to indirectly pay her back.
Anonymous says
Starbucks or Sephora gift card with a little treat from the place (bag of coffee/face mask etc)
Anonymous says
Go for mani pedis and lunch together? Flowers? I’m trying to remember and I think I got my hosts flowers and mani pedi gift cards. Then just remember this kindness they’ve done for you and pay it back and pay it forward. For one host, I went on to host her bridal shower. My other host stays at my house whenever she has an early flight because I live near the airport. I didnt do these things because they hosted my baby shower, I do it because I love them and they hosted my shower because they love me. I guess what I’m saying is you don’t need to pay them back for going above and beyond. Just enjoy and accept their love for you.
AwayEmily says
I love this idea. How about flowers, plus a card that says “I want to take both of you out for lunch to say thank you” — and maybe even print out a review of a new restaurant you know they’ll like. Then follow up the day after the shower to schedule it. As a frequent hostess of showers, I would LOVE to be gifted something like this because it would show that they loved spending time with me and valued me as a friend. Plus then we could gossip about everyone who came to the shower! :-)
Anonymous says
“Plus then we could gossip about everyone who came to the shower! :-)”
Can we be friends??? ;)
anon says
Oh my goodness, this is so true! So much time, effort, and love goes into a shower and so often the honored guest is too busy to spend time together after the fact. I would love to get to spend one-on-one or two-on-one time with the guest of honor as a thank you.
IP Attorney says
I got my hostesses a Diptyque candle and a card – something that I knew they’d enjoy but would probably never buy themselves. They seemed to really love them!
AwayEmily says
Bad haircut blues….I took both my kids to get their hair cut yesterday. I wasn’t paying enough attention and my 3yo daughter’s bangs are both crooked and WAY too short, and my son’s hair is also super, super short (he’s 16 months and they gave him a hair cut more suited for a 10-year-old). We have our first ever professional family photographs scheduled a month from now and I’m seriously considering canceling. But that would be crazy, right? I’m so stupidly sad about this and also really mad at myself that I wasn’t more attentive during the cuts.
anon says
I would take lots of pictures now and then give it two weeks and see how much they have both grown out (you’ll have today’s pictures to compare to). Then you can guesstimate how much more it will grow out in the following two weeks. If you’re still going to be pretty unhappy, I’d postpone the pictures six months or so (depending on the season you’re trying for/need to avoid).
Anonymous says
Kids hair grows fast. In a month it will look much better. If the bangs are still crooked, get them evened out a bit then or style them to the side with a bow/clip. I think hairstylists tend towards quite short on boys hair unless specifically told otherwise as getting boys to go along with haircuts is such a hassle, many parents want to go as long as possible in between.
Anonymous says
My kids haircuts are always a little wonky. They always move around and the poor hair dresser even though it’s a kids salon is all stressed out. Honestly, if I had a family portrait without a haircut that was a little off, I’d think something was wrong!
AnotherAnon says
First, I’m sorry that this happened. I don’t consider myself super concerned about looks, but my 2 y/o got a horrible haircut and I was devastated. FWIW, we had impromptu family photos scheduled for a week later, and his haircut was fine. I don’t think his hair grows super fast.
AwayEmily says
Thanks for saying this — I feel silly about exactly how devastated I am (it’s just hair, as my husband SO helpfully informed me), so it helps to know I’m not the only one with an outsize reaction to a bad haircut.
Kart says
In 10 years, your sweet family photos will be all about how little their were, their chubby little faces, their sweet smiles. You’re not going to notice their haircuts (hopefully).
Patty Mayonnaise says
Ugh I’ve been there and it totally stinks – I’m sorry. We took my son for a haircut right before a family wedding and it was terrible – very crooked but so short that we couldn’t have it evened out right away. I was so so sad about it and honestly, I still get kind of upset looking back at pictures from right after it happened. But I will say that a month is a pretty decent amount of time – I’d keep the photo appointment and see if you can get the cuts evened out (somewhere else!) right before. FWIW I was also sure to leave an honest review – I feel like that helps people going forward. We also have since found a place that does an incredible job and we’ve reviewed it well and recommended it to all of our friends. It’s hard to find good kids haircuts!
AwayEmily says
Thanks guys. I think I will wait until Friday and see if my feelings even out a bit, and if I still hate the cuts then I will try to reschedule for maybe late August. I think some of my sadness is due to the fact that they made my baby (my last baby!) look like a little boy, which I was not at ALL emotionally ready for.
Need a fitting says
Recommendations for br* fitting in NYC or Westchester? And how long post weaning should I wait? I am SO tired of my worn out nursing br*s, but all of my pre-pregnancy ones are too small (in cup size, not band, so I can’t just use an extender.)
Anonymous says
No advice on location but it will take about 6 months for your size to settle after weaning. But get yourself fitted now for a couple great bras and then refitted about 6 months post weaning.
Anonymous says
In NYC, Linda’s (you can make an appointment online) or Iris Lingerie in Brooklyn. I would just get one now. Mine never did fully go back to pre-preg size.
anon says
good bug spray for toddlers?
ANon says
Similarly, sunscreen?
AwayEmily says
We use the Aveeno SPF 50 baby sunblock, but only because my daughter had an allergy to the Target brand stuff. Otherwise I would have just stuck with that; it’s so much cheaper. We also make our kids wear hats any time they are out in the sun. Caveat, though, we don’t live in a super sunny place so can get away with less heavy-duty sunblock.
Anonymous says
Blue Lizard for sunscreen – much easier to rub in than other zinc oxide-based creams I’ve tried.
blueberries says
ThinkSport/Baby/Kids (all the same—just different packaging) in the stick form. My kids like to use the sticks on themselves.
Anonymous says
Our daycare just recommended babyganics or cutter natural for bug spray.
Redux says
We use Repel brand lemon eucalyptus spray for our kids. We have ticks where we are so we are pretty serious about bug spray but we’re also also anti-DEET unless its for very infrequent deep-woods camping (which we don’t do with our toddlers). The lemon eucalyptus stuff is effective without being toxic. We also have a set of “gardening clothes” treated with permetherin for any time our kids are going to spend lots of time in the garden where we have lots of ticks.
KW says
I was anti-DEET as well, but I read an article on NPR last weekend that bug spray without DEET is basically useless. So now what?
Redux says
Oh really? Will you share the link? I read a peer-reviewed article about the effectiveness of this particular essential oil combination compared with DEET and they were on-par. I will try to find it to share. I know less about the effectiveness of other bug sprays.
KW says
https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/06/30/623865454/a-guide-to-mosquito-repellents-from-deet-to-gin-and-tonic?utm_campaign=npr&utm_medium=social&utm_term=nprnews&utm_source=facebook.com&fbclid=IwAR1p1NOWewcbNWhCIUtjUuPoTbntZEEBCyH9JNy0vW4bHMsarcHOVI_8yeM
Ok, so apparently the oil of lemon eucalyptus is about as effective as DEET, or we could just use VS Bombshell perfume! Ha. It does say, which I had forgotten, that DEET was determined to be safe. But it looks like you’re good with lemon eucalyptus too.
Spirograph says
I like Avon’s bug wipes for little kids. It’s much easier for me to attack them with a wipe than try to get them to hold still and close their eyes and mouth for spray.
Avon also makes a combo bug repellant-sunscreen lotion that is convenient, I send that one to daycare to make the teacher’s lives a bit easier.
Trader Joe’s sunscreen is excellent, and I use it for myself and the kids. I think it may only be SPF 30, but we reapply and wear hats, so it’s good enough for us!
Use DEET! says
Our pediatrician told us to always use DEET on kids– his exact words were “sprays without DEET are bull**it”–even when they were babies, because it was the most effective. Just bathe them afterwards. We use the OFF deep woods stuff– I had lyme disease as a kid and tick borne illnesses are no joke.
Anonymous says
This is correct. When I worked at a medical research lab I did a lit review on this. Anyone who tries to tell you that bug spray without DEET is effective has not done adequate research. DEET gets a bad name due to some case studies where those exposed to high concentrations of DEET experienced seizures. When you look into the details there were very few cases (I don’t remember the exact number but I want to say it was less than 10) and the people were basically consistently dousing themselves in bug spray for many days at a time. When I approached the head of toxicology at our university for my research, he was so annoyed that this was even a topic of discussion he refused to talk to me at length and when I pressed him about whether we should discontinue sale of DEET products, he said, “Don’t drink a bottle of it.” So, I use regular OFF on my kids.
Emily S. says
Natrapel — it comes in spray and wipes. The smell isn’t offensive and it really works (at least, it’s worked for me at the beach, in the backyard, and at daycare (near woods.)
+1 to Blue Lizard sunscreen!
Anonymous says
Cutter skinsations. Has DEET but about 7% and it works on me and I’m an insane mosquito magnet. Like I’m the person that has to wear bug spray every evening in the summer for a walk.it also actually smells good.
fallen says
People with IUDs- do you have your husband pull out? I know the effectiveness is 99+% but the fear of another kid is real. Wondering what everyone else does!
Anonymous says
I do when I’m ovulating but we also got pregnant the first or second month trying on both pregnancies so I’m paranoid because of that. Once I’m over 40 I’ll probably be less paranoid as my fertility is likely much lower then.
Anonymous says
Certainly not! What’s the point of even having one if you don’t trust it? You’re not getting pregnant with an IUD. You’re just not.
Anonymous says
No people get pregnant with IUDs in all the time. It’s a very effective birth control method but not 100%.
Anonymous says
No they really don’t get pregnant with IUDs “all the time.” That is not true.
Anonymous says
Not an IUD, but my husband had a V and we still use condoms when I’m ovulating. We got pregnant twice on the first try and are terrified of our superfertility.
Anonymous says
That’s insane. Absolutely insane.
Anonymous says
If it sounds insane to you, fine, don’t do it. A lot of people here have a pretty casual attitude toward abortion and would have no hesitation having one if they had an oops baby. I’m pro-choice in the sense that I believe women should have the legal right to make whatever choice they want, but I’m morally opposed to abortion and would not have one myself. And I have health issues that would make a third pregnancy dangerous to my health, so we feel more comfortable taking every precaution we can to ensure I’m here and healthy for our two existing kids.
Pogo says
I think Anonymous has a good point – if it makes her feel better, why is it insane? I do know someone IRL who got pregnant with an IUD after two kids and they thought they were “done”. It does happen, and you have to either be ok with an abortion or having another kid – which I don’t see as being different than back in the day when I was young and in college (and before I knew I had fertility issues) – we always used both bc and cond*ms, and agreed that we would not continue any pregnancy.
Anonymous says
Lots of insane things make crazy people feel better!
Anonymous says
I know someone with twins, a singleton, and twins. The twins were NOT science-related and only the first pregnancy was deliberate.
I know so many “but I was on the pill” etc. pregnancies that I believe s*x can lead to babies. Which isn’t remarkable.
So a .1% pregnancy risk (or even .01%) over a large enough population = some people will still get pregnant. And being pregnant with an IUD scares the tar out of me.
FWIW, I got pregnant at 37 after 1 month of trying, at 37 again, at 38, and at 39. So not all of those eggs were good, but I was shocked at how easy it was to get pregnant even with some crazy post-miscarriage hormones in there an pregnancies 3 and 4 were while I was nursing still.
HSAL says
I’ve got 11 month old twins and a 3.5 year old. I got a tubal during my csection, and my husband still got a vasectomy, and we still used cond*ms until his results came back. Is it likely that we could still get pregnant? Nope. Is it theoretically possible? Yep. I’m perfectly fine being insane if it means I don’t have any more kids.
anon says
Have you had his count checked since the V at the intervals recommended?
CPA Lady says
This is so surprising to me. I’ve never had DH pull out ever.
And I’m one of those people who got pregnant on the first try.
OP, if you are this scared of getting pregnant again, perhaps it’s time to look into more permanent options?
Anonymous says
Even the more permanent options won’t be much better percentage wise. Assuming we’re talking about Mirena, not copper, the Mirena IUD is slightly more effective than a tubal, and about the same as a vasectomy.
I will admit DH and I currently use both Mirena and condoms, but that’s because I just got the IUD placed recently and am only 3.5 months postpartum after a rough pregnancy. Want to make sure the IUD stays put the first few months at least (when there’s greater chance of it shifting) before relying solely on it.
Anonymous says
Or therapy for her anxiety.
NYCer says
Same here.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I believe IUDs are more effective than the pill and condoms, right? I mean, of course there’s a chance that you can get pregnant, but it’s really really unlikely. I too got pregnant easily twice, but before TTCing, I was on the pill for years and never got pregnant with just that and no other protection.
anon says
What? No. I’m shocked people are this conservative. To each her own but if you’re actually worried about this I would be more inclined to research the cause of failure (quick google search shows that one is improper placement, which can be identified by ultrasound) and address those causes.
Knope says
No, I don’t. IUDs are 99%+ effective. Yes, sometimes people get pregnant, but it’s really really rare. Life involves some inherent risk-taking – I still drive a car even though there’s a small chance I might be killed in a car wreck.
anon says
I’m anon at 10:21. This addresses the risk aspect better than I was able to form words about.
Fertile Myrtle says
As someone who is currently pregnant with an oops baby conceived while on birth control, I get it. There’s a failure rate for just about everything. Apparently DH and I are extra at making babies.
grey falcon says
This looks great but seems pretty slim fitting. Any recs for a more A-line shirt dress (e.g.: hiding the pooch but not gaping at the top) that would be a good summer weekend casual option?
ElisaR says
https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=468794002&cid=1008444&pcid=13658
ElisaR says
I just bought this and love it from the Gap.
ElisaR says
kind of more Summery-work dress for me than a weekend dress. But they have more casual ones too.
grey falcon says
Thanks!
Dlc says
Uniqlo has a linen- cotton shirt dress that I’m loving. Very soft and comfy and you can wear it with or without the belt. And budget friendly.
https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/women/linen-collection?quickView=417906
grey falcon says
Thanks!
Anon says
What does everyone wear around the house during the summer? I’m about 4 months postpartum and don’t know what to wear for days where I’m just going to be at home with the baby. We don’t have AC, so it needs to be cool. I’ve been living in leggings so far, but it is going to be hot soon (hopefully!) and I may roast alive in leggings. I have jean shorts but was hoping for something more comfortable than that. Prior years I lived in a few pairs of shorts that were close to a decade old and were super soft and broken in. Sadly, I’m no longer able to wear them due to my new body shape after baby (already lost the baby weight but my shape is just different now). Capri leggings? Suck it up and wear the jean shorts?
anon says
Old Navy has linen drawstring waist shorts that I love for the summer heat. Reasonable price too.
Cute Kid Things says
I’d get some work out shorts; they’ll be much more comfortable than leggings or denim shorts. Unfortunately I don’t have any recommendations and Gap stopped carrying the ones I really love, but since your body is still changing, maybe check out old navy or target.
Anonymous says
+1. I like Under Armour’s shorts a lot. At least a few of the types have nice, big pockets. These shorts with a Target v-neck tee or tank top is my uniform.
Redux says
Elastic-waisted shorts and skirts! Actually on-trend right now and so easy to find in places like ON or Target. They are super forgiving and flattering and actually make me feel like I’m following a trend.
Redux says
https://www.target.com/p/women-s-pull-on-knit-shorts-a-new-day-153/-/A-54204094?preselect=54080413#lnk=sametab
Anon says
I bought a bunch of stretchy skorts last year from Talbots to act as a summer version of yoga pants for my maternity leave. I loved them, and they are also working well this summer.
Old Navy Linen Shorts says
These are my around-the-house shorts (and I will wear them out of the house too for errands/pool/super casual stuff):
https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=137577002
Very comfortable, much lighter than jean shorts.
Anonymous says
I have pajama shorts with pockets from Target. They are the best!
Anonymous says
Linen drawstring-waist shorts and a loose tee or tank top. Anything tight, such as leggings, will be hotter.
GCA says
+1 to the linen-blend shorts from Old Navy, or workout shorts!
Anonymous says
Buy new shorts that fit and are comfortable
ElisaR says
post partum I loved my patagonia baggies shorts. They were comfy and had pockets that held tissues, pacis, whatever.
Emily S. says
I wore loose fitting jersey or knit t-shirt dresses (mostly Old Navy nursing dresses) or t-shirts and running shorts after my summer babies were born. Super se*y but totally comfortable. J.Crew Factory and Patagonia both have linen or hemp drawstring pants that would be my uniform of choice, post-partum or not.
Anonymous says
Linen shorts and I just ordered maternity/nursing dresses from amazon. Basically a “house dress”. I like being able to unbutton the top to nurse but it’s still presentable for visitors in the first few weeks. Found this super simple for DD. I live in the DC area and am due this July. Ask me how happy I am to be having a summer baby….
Dog and Baby says
I’m due in 9 weeks, and my husband and I are finishing up our preparations for our baby! We’re so excited, but I was wondering – do you guys have any dog/baby advice? We have a 5 year old golden retriever that is generally extremely well behave – passed her AKC Canine Good Citizen test, super good with every kid she’s ever met, doesn’t growl, etc, but we’re wondering what the best way to introduce them is? She loves laying on my stomach (new during pregnancy) so I expect her to be excited, but what else am I missing here?
Other than making sure to watch them (more because as sweet as she is, she’s still 60 pounds) together, what else should I be thinking about?
Anonymous says
Hi, I’m also 9 weeks away from my due date! :) No advice on dogs, but talk to your vet — our vet had some good tips for introducing our cat to the baby, mostly in setting up all the furniture ahead of time so she’s used to it, giving her clothes that smell like the baby to sniff before she meets him, and just generally watching them together.
Anonymous says
Do not count on being able to bring home a baby blanket or hat from the hospital for the dog to sniff. That’s what our trainer advised, and the hospital wouldn’t let us keep anything. Bring your own blanket or clothing to the hospital and put the baby in it for a few hours before you check out.
Anon says
This is so surprising to me. When we left the hospital the nurses were loading us up with extras of everything.
ElisaR says
yeah we did too – took everything even the extra diapers.
Quail says
We don’t have a dog, but I noticed that our hospital offers a “Bowser and Baby” class – maybe check to see if your hospital offers a similar class? Or maybe a local pet store or dog trainer?
Our cat was entirely indifferent to the kid (and still keeps his distance). The main change was that my phone is now full of pictures of my kid rather than my cat.
ElisaR says
My golden was SO good with our babies. So good. One time when she was 13 years old (and I thought deaf) she was barking barking barking at us in the backyard. I realized the baby was crying mid-nap inside. She told us. I know this is a sweeping statement but goldens are just so sweet. I am tearing up here now bc she’s gone….
HSAL says
My parents just lost their 13 year old golden this year. Three years ago I was changing my infant daughter and got up to go get something. I told the dog to watch the baby and he got up and went and laid right next to her while I was gone. Goldens forever!
anon says
Another point of anecdata: my very very hyper two year old beagle is great with my 18 month old niece. The worst he does is get too close (sniffing her face, usually) while she’s standing. She stiff arms him, loses her balance, and falls on her bum. Before she could do the stiff arm she would yell and he’d back off a bit. She, on the other hand, will grasp his ear with her sharp little kid nails and he just yelps and moves away. They are really cute together. (Side story because I can’t help myself: my niece’s first word, by far, was dog. And she can identify her two dogs and mine by name. So cute.) My sister’s two dogs have been good with her, too. I think they brought something home from the hospital a day early to introduce her smell and then let them sniff her pretty well in the car seat when they brought baby home.
Emily S. says
Gently, and I don’t think you can really prepare for it, but be aware that your feelings toward your dog might change, especially in those first few days home. I remember being shocked when I read an article called something like, “I hate my dog after having a baby,” but after baby, I understood the sentiment. Sometimes your beloved dog is underfoot or whining when the baby is crying, etc., and you lose your temper and then feel so.bad because you just yelled at beloved dog! So while your question was ostensibly about your dog adjusting, remember that your feelings toward your dog may fluctuate and you’ll eventually find harmony and dog and kiddo will be best buds.
Anonymous says
+1000 our dog became one more thing to take care of. Learning how to care for a newborn plus having to still take the dog out was not great.
IHeartBacon says
+Infinity.
Anonymous says
xInfinityxInfinity, but with the added notation that your dog might not like your kid no matter how great it seems right now. For years and years pre-kids, I thought that my Newfie’s personality would make her the best baby loving dog on the whole planet. In reality, the dog wants almost nothing to do with the baby. It made the dog hate feelings that much stronger, fair or not. We had all of the obligations of dog ownership during that difficult first year and none of the expected rewards of an awesome dog-baby relationship.
Anon says
Yep. I laughed when people told me “before kids your dog is your baby, and after kids your dog is just a dog” but it happened instantaneously for me. I think I just don’t have infinite love to give and now it goes to the baby. Honestly it makes me scared of having a second kid because the dog’s space as my baby was so quickly and fully replaced by the actual baby.
umbr says
I felt overstretched when I brought my baby home to my dog and resented the dog’s needs, AT FIRST. Those feelings faded. Now kid is 13 months old and much more self sufficient and I’m remembering how much fun dogs are. Having a newborn is incredibly stressful, and I think I would have felt resentment during that time, but the dog gave it something to focus on.
umbr says
One thing I was not prepared for – how unresponsive newborns are to almost everything. In the first few weeks babies can only focus on an object ~12 inches away (about the distance of your face to your breast). My kid noticed human faces, but that was about it. My kid didn’t even track the dog until she was several months old (around 6 months, I think).
IHeartBacon says
Yep.
And I’ll also add one more comment to the OP. Even if at first your relationship with your dog, and how you feel about your dog, dramatically changes, your dog will still love you through it all and once you come out the other side. That’s one of the best things about dogs: their unconditional love.
Anonymous says
So another piece of anecdata: we had a dog that had to be rehomed. However, the clues were all there and we just kept trying to make it work and t would not work in the end. We are really lucky nothing serious happened.
But our dog was always high strung, always suspicious of “not her people,” difficult to adjust to situations, somewhat territorial, had once had a fight with another dog that was at least 50% her fault, hard to train and also 65lbs and black. The baby was “tolerated” in that as long as baby didn’t bother the dog, things were fine. Where it got bad was as the baby got a bit older (walking, talking) and started getting physical with us- she became true competition for lap-time (eg baby would climb into our lap if the dog was hanging out by us).
Anyhow, ex dog is now 11 (rehomed at 6, when our first was 20 months- we really did try!!) and living with her old dog walker. It broke our hearts but it had to be done. Now that we have 2 more kids I cannot imagine still owning that dog. It would be constant fear of what might happen if my head was turned.
Anonymous says
I’m debating hosting my soo-to-be 3 y/o’s birthday at our house. We have some major construction that should be wrapped up by then, but there is a *chance* it won’t be.
How much notice would you need for a party? His birthday weekend is 8/2. Would sending invites the first week of July be too late? By then I’ll know for sure on the venue.
Redux says
I’ve seen everything from a month to two-weeks notice for birthday parties. I would not bat an eyelash on the notice you are planning. I think you’re fine.
Anonymous says
For preschool birthday parties, two weeks’ notice seemed to be standard, and invitations the week of the party were not unheard of.
Kart says
I think a month is good.
Emily S. says
2 weeks or a month seems standard in my area. Most invitations we get are 2 weeks out, but I send about a month out because I can’t help myself.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We sent our evites for our 3 year old’s birthday party about a month before.
Machine washable shirts to wear with leggings says
Any suggestions on shirts to wear with leggings? It seems like it shouldn’t be so hard, but I’m struggling to find shirts that cover my crotch, are machine washable, not too tight around the midsection. I’m open to sleeveless, short sleeve, 3/4 length, baseball/raglan style. I’m 5’5, on the thinner side but with big boobs (sounds great but it’s a pain to find clothes sometimes!). I have a 3 year old and due with my second in the next couple weeks. I want comfortable machine washable tops for the summer and fall. I’ve ordered a bunch of small tall shirts from Old Navy, but haven’t received them yet. I’m open to paying a little more for the right shirt but just can’t seem to find what I’m looking for. I realize crop tops are in, but no one wants to see that from me right now lol. I’ve looked at Nordstrom, Z Supply, Lululemon, Athleta, Banana Republic, Old Navy, Amazon, Evereve, Everlane, and Able. Where else?? Thanks!!
Redux says
I like to wear button down shirts with leggings. Gap’s fitted boyfriend shirts are my go to in the fall.
https://www.gap.com/products/womens-button-down-shirts.jsp
Shirts OP says
This is a great idea! Do they wash well? Do you machine dry them or hang them after washing? If you can’t tell, I’m looking for low effort options haha.
Redux says
They do wash well! I particularly like the chambray and flannel ones (available in the fall). I tumble dry everything and am pretty good about taking things out of the dryer fairly immediately.
AwayEmily says
Old Navy Luxe tunics. They are long enough to cover your butt/crotch and they are super stretchy so pull down easily for nursing. I lived in them for the first six months post-baby. And they are on sale for $10 right now!
Shirts OP says
I must have missed those on my search – I’ll look again since I’ll be buying the button down shirts from the Gap link above! Thank you!!
octagon says
Boden tunics. They post garment measurements, so you can make sure they are long enough for you.
Shirts OP says
Ordered some! Thanks for the suggestion!
Anonymous says
I have recently gotten some longer t-shirt type tops from Anthro.
Anonymous says
Express One Eleven London tees – they are meant to go with leggings and come in various sleeve length/tank options. They are machine washable. The fabric does start to pill after a while – I’ve had mine about a year and they will probably last one more.
Shirts OP says
Ordered some of these too! Thanks for the suggestion. A year or more is pretty good, especially considering the price of them.
AnotherAnon says
This is an odd, very specific question but I really value this community’s input. We have a 2 y/o (adopted) and just got approved for private infant adoption (so we’d be taking a newborn). We may have several weeks to prepare for baby’s arrival but there’s a slim chance we might only have a few hours to prepare. Would you set up a nursery in advance? Would you move the 2 y/o out of his current location in the nursery in advance of the baby? With our first, we set up a crib in a spare bedroom and the parent doing night feedings just slept in there with the baby until about 5 months when he moved into the nursery. I’m debating whether I just want to do that again. I know there are lots of factors but just wanted to get your thoughts. TIA
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t set up a nursery or move toddler in advance. I also would not have one parent sleep in a separate bedroom for 5 months! You’ll need minimal supplies night one and it’s easy to get baby stuff. The wait will feel much longer with an empty nursery staring you in the face
Anonymous says
Isn’t the recommendation now to keep the baby in the parents’ room for a full year? So either one parent sleeps with baby, or both parents do and no one gets any sleep.
Anonymous says
Yeah I personally think this is a great idea. After having a bassinet in our master bedroom for the first few weeks with our first, we’ll definitely be switching that up for any future babies. The newborn will go straight into the crib and a parent will sleep in there on a bed for a few weeks.
Anonymous says
Just throwing this out there: or, you do not abide by this recommendation. This is an acceptable alternative for many people (including me).
For the original question, though, +1 to the suggestion below to not worry about doing anything in advance, and ask for help if you end up in a last-minute situation. I know someone who got notice they’d been matched with a new baby out-of-state. Parents took off immediately, and their local friends had everything set up for them by the time they got home a few weeks later
Anonymous says
Rooming in for at least 6 months has been the recommendation in Canada for 8-10 years. I don’t know anyone that dealt with it via moving a parent out to the baby room through. Most people seem to put the crib in the master, and whoever isn’t getting up with the baby sleeps with eyemask and earplugs or goes to guest room on nights baby is super fussy.
A year is a really long time, I thought the incidence of SIDS dropped off fairly significantly after 6-8 months?
Anonymous says
I would do what you did last time for sleeping arrangements. Do you have a pack n play? Baby can safely sleep in that for one night and you can amazon prime the sh*t out of everything else you need. Maybe set up a registry so you have exactly what you need to order (and make sure it’s all Prime delivery) and can order it in one foul swoop. Really one of you could go out and buy a crib/mattress/sheets/etc… on the spot the next morning at Target or Buy Buy Baby and it would be fine. The only thing you would need immediately is diapers, bottles, formula, safe place to sleep, and a few outfits.
Is there anyone close to you geographically you could loop in on the situation? My cousin adopted with a few hours notice (got the call, picked up the baby that afternoon) and they had family available to sterilize bottles, set up a crib, etc…
Anon says
I would either do what you did last time or get a bassinet or pack n play to put in your room for a while. We didn’t use our nursery (or finish setting it up) for 5.5 months after baby was born. Since you didn’t last time, I would not prioritize that particular preparation. But I agree with PP that having a list of everything you need to buy when baby arrives could be helpful when you are tired and delirious and don’t want to have to do research after baby is in the house.
Cb says
And ask for help! If a friend gave me a list, I’d happily go shopping, get everything washed and prepped etc. I would really feel honoured to help out in this way.
OP says
This is such a sweet comment – thank you! I definitely have friends looped in and they are prepared to help out again just like last time. I’ve learned to ask for what I need. It really does take a village!
Anonymous says
I’d move the 2 y/o to his new room now, unless there is some big reason not to do so. Then you are separating the New Room Move from New Baby. It can just be a cool new adventure that takes a few weeks to get used to.
It’s not the same, but my kids were in room A and room B. I moved them into room C before baby #3 was born, because baby was moving into room A. Room B turned into my office. Having the bigger kids (18 months and 4 at the time) moved and settled before the baby came was critical.
I’ll say that when I moved the kids around, the two moving in together each brought pieces of their own furniture/decor, plus they both got new beds. So it felt like their own room because one’s curtains were on the new room windows and the other’s dresser and mirror and rug were in there.
Anon says
+1 to move 2 y/o now to separate the two events as much as possible – that way, 2 y/o feels like the move to the new room is cool and a privilege rather than feeling like he is getting displaced by new baby sibling. We got my son a big boy bed a couple months before baby sister arrived, and I wish we had done it sooner (like before we told him baby sister was on the way), and not framed it as “we’re doing this b/c we need your crib for baby sister.” (It’s probably obvious to everyone reading this that it was a dumb idea to have framed it this way.) He was extremely possessive about “HIS” crib and it took much convincing from my husband, who is better at reasoning with him, that he was also getting the bed b/c he’s a big boy; had we framed it as “you’re a big boy now and you’re getting a new bed” from the get-go, it’s obvious to me now that he would have taken it better.
Also adopting says
I’m also approved to adopt a newborn and waiting for placement. I have nothing. I couldn’t deal with seeing it all. One bff has kept all her baby stuff for me. Another is willing to take my credit card and go wild if I call. I have no doubt that if I had to fly across the country today to get a baby, I would return home to all of the basics set up for me. I would also have to buy some supplies in whatever state we got the baby to get through those first few days but it would all be part of the adventure.
Was your first adoption private as well? How long did you wait for placement? Agency or attorney search?
OP says
Our first was an emergency foster placement, so we weren’t sure if he would stay (happily, he did). It was about four months from being licensed to receiving the call for him. We’re still a licensed foster home but haven’t had a single call in two years so we opted to try for private adoption. We’re using the same agency we’re licensed with to foster because they also do private adoptions. How long have you been licensed? I hope you get a call soon! I can post a burner email if you want to talk more.
Also adopting says
Connecting via email would be great. Our home study was in January or February and approved in March. It feels like it has been forever but we have probably had 10(?) expectant mom profiles shown to us and said yes to having our profile shown to at least 6 of them but as far as we know, known were a match.
OP says
My burner email is can i give you some advice (no spaces) at the mail of g. If you email me there I’ll switch to my personal account and we can chat more.
Anonymous says
Can confirm that setting up a registry/wishlist and prime delivering after the baby comes for most things works fine. I had a 34 week preemie. We had the big stuff like crib and carseat and a few bottles and clothes but had a lot of stuff still to buy. I remember ordering a bunch of things from our registry from her NICU room a couple days before she came home, and stopping by a big box store the day before she was discharged for things like diapers and wipes.
LittleBigLaw says
What are your go-to coping methods for days when everything goes sideways? Even though I love my job and know that my kids are generally thriving, the mommy/ideal worker guilt still rears its ugly head every once in a while. Like this morning when everyone was late and the laundry didn’t get done and work assignments are piled high after a trial last week. How do you reset your perspective and solider on when you feel crummy on all fronts?
anon says
I have to actively remind myself that it doesn’t always feel this hard. Repeatedly. :) I know I’m on top of my sh!t most of the time, and I’m betting you are, too.
As far as practical matters, do a load of kid laundry tonight (because you probably have more clothes than they do) and pick 1-2 priorities at work to address first. You will get the rest done, in time.
Anonymous says
For my son’s first year, my answer was giant chocolate chip cookies from Jacque Torres.
LittleBigLaw says
LOL, yes, all the chocolate for sure!
Anonymous says
Chocolate and an evening to myself watching tv after the kiddos go to bed.
Anonymous says
Oof. Having a trial last week (unless you are say a prosecutor who has a trial basically every week – in which case, go you!) is hard enough to come down and back from, even without the additions of family and home responsibilities. I need some time to re-enter after that. Can you take half a day (or even a couple hours) of mental health time? Leave at 3 instead of 5, start the laundry, get the kids early and do dinner al fresco if it’s not too hot, then deal with work tomorrow?
Anon says
I boil down my to-do list to the absolute essentials and focus on one day at a time. And remind myself that everyone is still alive and no one is presumably doing without basic necessities. And toddler season for me is all about survival – so if everyone’s alive and kicking, it is a good day. Cancel anything extra that you don’t need to do – non-critical BD (i.e., a general event vs. a pitch), summer events, bar association, etc. and use that time to do something that re-energizes you, whether getting home at a decent hour to play with the kids in the yard or going and getting a pedicure before picking up the kids.
Lawyermom says
Trial is hard even if it is a three day trial. I have had two trials since having baby and I know exactly where you are coming from. Sit down and write out a list of the things that need to get down at home and a separate list of things that need to get done at work. Then prioritize the assignments for both. Before you leave the house do the top home priority or two and once you get in the office start with the most pressing. It takes a couple of days, but you will get caught back up. If you work in the civil world, just start every email with my apologizes for the delay I just got out of a trial. Everyone immediately understands and no one will hold it against you. I constantly struggle with my type a personality and being used to giving 100 percent in every thing that I did. I know have to accept that while I am giving 80 or 90 percent it is still the best i can do at this stage. Be kind to yourself.
Anonymous says
I remind myself that things aren’t hard because I’m doing anything wrong, things are hard because I have a lot of responsibilities and that No One can handle all this than me. I am the most qualified person for this job of being a working mom and mom to my family.