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We’ve pictured the affordable Pleione wrap shirt that everyone loves for pumping a number of times (and it’s now on sale at Nordstrom in both short-sleeved and sleeveless styles — the long-sleeved version is no longer on the site, alas, and has even sold out at Nordstrom Rack), but if you happen to be that rare woman who wants to wear silk while pumping, this is the one for you. I love the color and the print, which would hide a multitude of stains and other sins, and I think it would look lovely with navy or black. It’s $395 at Bergdorf Goodman. Haute Hippie Tapestry Floral Faux-Wrap Silk Blouse
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Butter says
Okay ladies, does anyone have any tales of successfully negotiating mat leave after announcing? I’m still aways away from doing so, but am trying to prep myself. I know I probably have little room for negotiation, but am curious if anyone has been able to move the dial. Currently the policy is 2 months unpaid, then there’s some language about using sick/vacation days and short-term disability, but the STD sounds like it doesn’t kick in until after 90 days – could that be right?
For context I’m in a small, male-heavy org with an older management staff. Most are parents of teenagers if not grandkids, and there hasn’t been a mat leave for someone at my level (mid-level, but senior in that rank) in 10+ years. We have been through a lot of big transitions lately, so this could be a good time to ask for the rules to be rewritten, or not. Regardless I’d like to approach this reasonably, and would love some anecdata.
mascot says
Short-term disability usually only has a 14 day waiting period in my experience, so the 90 days doesn’t sound right. I’d check on that. Do you already have STD coverage?
One thing I would ask for is a ramp up/reduced workload period following your leave. That might work better for a smaller company and you rather than making a longer leave.
pockets says
I work at a small law firm and I was the only female attorney to have a baby since probably the firm was started (the female receptionist had three kids). The policy used to be 3 months unpaid (NY has STD for 6 weeks but it’s capped at some really low number, and the firm wouldn’t kick in anything), and I asked for 3 months paid. The firm rewrote the policy and now the policy is 6 weeks fully paid (STD + the firm pays the difference), 6 weeks unpaid.
Here is my personal advice (and YMMV): I would frame it as something the firm should do to keep up with the times. Tell them you know the firm doesn’t have the resources to give you 3-4 months paid like a big company, but you think [X] weeks is reasonable. And don’t make it seem like they’re doing you a favor. The way I looked at it, I worked at the firm for 4 years before I took leave. That’s 208 weeks. 6 weeks is not even 3% of the entire time I had spent working here – I shouldn’t feel like they’re doing me a favor by giving me that time off.
My firm did give me pushback on using my vacation days to extend my paid leave because I hadn’t “earned” them yet and there was a concern that I’d use them and then not come back, resulting in what I can only assume would be major financial calamity to the firm (cue major eye roll). But if you already have the days banked, I don’t see how the firm could object to you using them.
anon says
I can’t help but laugh because my employer severely shortened our leave policy based on the market. But given OP’s policy, I would give it a shot.
As for my own leave, I haven’t negotiated yet but plan on seeking 2 extra months unpaid leave. This is fairly standard practice in my office so I don’t expect much push back. Of course, it’s unpaid, but I saved up a lot of money for this purpose.
A couple thoughts for OP–double check on the insurance. 90-day elimination period sounds like l/t disability. And try to figure out who in management will be most amenable to increasing the benefits. (In my office there are two people who can sign off on leave but one is a clear winner if you want extra time.)
Katarina says
I have a STD policy, it had a two week waiting period, but you have to have had coverage for nine months before it would cover maternity leave, so you should get it several months before conceiving, at the latest. I am at a small firm with no real policy, and I was the first attorney to take a maternity leave. I knew they would never agree to paid leave, but they would have been okay with an extended unpaid leave, up to six months or so. I took a much shorter leave because it was cost prohibitive to take longer.
ANP says
I haven’t done this myself but here are some ideas:
+ Go to the right person. You’ll be successful in this if you have someone at the top advocating for you, so figure out who that is. I wouldn’t discount men as advocates — do any of them have working spouses?
+ Think about what you want (ideal world) and where you’re willing to compromise. Knowing this going in is important.
+ Don’t be apologetic! As someone posted upthread, this is a blip on the radar of your career. Not a huge deal for them to give you some PTO to deal with a major life event.
+ Have you considered AFLAC or a similar STD policy? I signed up for AFLAC at a former employer years ago and have used it four times (3 kids and one medical procedure that had me out of work for a few weeks). If you want to use it for a pregnancy you have to have the policy prior to getting pregnant, but the cost is CHEAP and it will pay concurrently with what your employer is paying (so it’s a way to turn some unpaid time into paid time). Highly, highly recommend.
kes says
I was the first associate in my small firm to have a baby in something like 25 years and there was no policy on the books, even STD. I announced around 16 weeks and they didn’t finalize the mat leave policy until about 6 weeks before my due date!
Anyway my first step was to reach out to a woman at a similarly-sized, similarly-situated firm who worked with her firm to rewrite their mat leave policy under similar circumstances. She awesomely agreed to let me take her to lunch and pick her brain. She gave me all of her materials, mostly comprised of her notes from talking to people at different smaller firms in my city to get the general provisions of their mat leave policies and her memo pitching her proposal to her partners. I used that, called a few other women I knew at smaller firms who had babies in the last 5 years, wrote a pitch of my own that was basically the average of the other firms, and got what I asked for – 8 weeks fully paid, 4 weeks at 50%, additional time as agreed between associate and firm at no pay. I also didn’t have to use my vacation time, but I did mention in my pitch the fact that I’ve never used anything close to all of my days (and we’re use-it-or-lose-it) and I think that helped.
FWIW I’m also back at work 80% and my 1 day off a week is totally respected, even now when my kid is almost 2, so I know my firm is kind of a unicorn, but I think for a firm that is so long out of this game it really helps to learn something first about what their peer-firms are doing, and go from there.
Good luck!! This can be so stressful.
Butter says
Thanks all, this is so incredibly helpful! It sounds like I need to make a plan for what I want, do some research to back it up, and then package it into a sharp proposal. At this point I would be thrilled with any amount paid, but can’t let that dictate what I ask for. The idea of not knowing the plan up until 6 weeks before leave would make me crazy! I really hope we can get it ironed out before then. I also take to heart going to the right person. Hopefully between now and then I can figure out that is. And the AFLAC suggestion is a good one, but I think ship has sailed. It’s clear I need to look into the STD policy more.
Momata says
My employer-offered STD doesn’t kick in until after 4 weeks, and my sense is that is on the longer side.
HSAL says
Same. We have a 30 day “elimination period” and then 60% benefits for either 2 or 4 weeks, depending on type of birth.
Newly pregnant says
Daycare question. Would you spend about $1,000 extra per month for a better daycare? Especially if the money would be very challenging.
My husband and I live in NYC and daycare spots are hard to come by. We are on a number of waitlists. We can’t afford a nanny and grandparents aren’t really an option for full time care. We found one daycare that was by far the most affordable daycare we’ve found which also did not have a waitlist (Daycare A), so our plan was always to wait and see what happened with these lists and use Daycare A if nothing else worked out. Daycare A is ok but the best thing going for it is the price. It’s very no frills (which is ok), but I’ve never loved the place. We’ve toured it twice and it seemed like there were always kids crying or just being left in a bouncer. I’ve never seen the staff reading to the kids or really interacting with them other than feeding them. We’ve never been confident in Daycare A’s ability to teach our daughter at the preschool level so we were planning on finding a preschool for her sooner rather than later. It’s within walking distance of home and has slightly later hours, which is convenient.
Daycare B is part of a chain. The location we toured and wanted isn’t available, but they’re offering us a 6 month deal at another location for the same price (roughly 1k more than Daycare A). Once that deal is done Daycare B will be about $1,200 more per month than Daycare A. Daycare B requires us to get on the subway with her but she would be a 15 minute walk from my office. Once enrolled our daughter will be on the priority list for other locations within the chain and we can try to transfer her to a less expensive location, but no guarantees. We’re going to tour Daycare B in the next few days to confirm whether we still like the chain and this location in particular. When we toured the one location the staff was playing with the kids, doing tummy time, and just generally interacting with the kids.
My gut instinct is to go with Daycare B but it would be insanely tough financially. Thoughts? Please excuse typos – I’m on my phone.
Meg Murry says
Are grandparents an option for part-time care? Could you either pay less for Daycare B by doing only 3 days a week + 2 days grandparents, or do Daycare A + 1 or 2 days grandparents and save some money toward switching to a better center by toddler/preschool time?
What times of day did you tour daycare A? There may be certain times of the day that the babies spend more time in bouncers, but others that they do tummy time and reading and you just weren’t there at those times. Even at my awesome daycare, 8-9 am and 11-12 would probably look less than ideal since they are trying to spoon feed babies then, and aren’t really interacting with the ones they aren’t feeding beyond the bare minimum – but from 9-11 and 1-3 there is a lot more tummy time and reading, etc.
I’d do one more tour before writing off Daycare A, as that is a huge chunk of change to squeeze yourself on.
Newly pregnant says
We might be able to do part time with grandparents. It’s definitely an option I’m going to explore but it is challenging from a schedule and distance perspective. If we can make that work Daycare B becomes more affordable.
Good point about the tour times. We did tour Daycare A once at about 11am, but the other time was around 3pm. It might be worth one more tour.
Famouscait says
Also ask explicitly about how long kiddo can stay in a bouncer, when is reading time, etc. My daycare provided us a sample daily schedule and also was upfront about time limits in bouncer, etc. Their general response to your questions should be as informative as the information itself: i.e. is there a policy in place that they can refer to, or is it an um-gosh-gee type of response (or worse – annoyed you asked at all).
mascot says
I agree with Meg Murray about touring A at a different time. With an extra $1200/month, that’s a lot of gymboree classes you can enroll in on the weekends for extra enrichment. Most states have pretty strict rules about how long kids can spend in bouncers, high chairs, etc. How is the staff with slightly older kids? Is there more interaction once they are up and walking around?
Newly pregnant says
I do think there was more interaction with the 1s room at Daycare A, so that’s a positive. And you’re right that that $1,200 does free up more money for fun weekend activities. If we put her in Daycare B we would have very little free cash.
Anonyc says
NYC daycare vet here–I feel you on this dilemma. This sounds a lot like Bright Horizons stories I’ve heard (ex: friend told me the Pine St. location was quoting $2700/mo., though others are less). I’ve done both: one kid is currently in a no frills, affordable, good hours place. I’ve had other kids in fancier. I’m assuming the no frills place is licensed. Partly my answer depends on the age of the kid; I’m okay with less instruction stuff for <1, and I agree with Meg Murry that at any given moment even the best daycares look like disasters, especially during transitions. I think once kids are up and moving, learning words, starting to feed themselves, that is when to invest in the fancier place.
Can you look into a third way until a spot opens at a more affordable place? Nanny shares might solve the issue. Or go with no frills and switch the minute something opens up. Care costs are just a crusher, I know.
Newly pregnant says
Ha – You hit the nail on the head with Bright Horizons!
Yes, the no frills place is licensed, so I’m not concerned in that front.
My daughter is 7 weeks. She’ll be about 17 weeks when we start daycare. It’s a good point about how she just needs the basics right now. A nanny share is a good idea – I’ll have to look into it.
pockets says
If you are in Brooklyn, I think I know the Bright Horizons & cheap day care you are talking about. FWIW, and if I’m right, my friend sends her kid to the cheap day care. I don’t think she is over the moon thrilled with the situation, but she is OK.
Nanny shares are great if you are super laid back. I was in a share for a while, and when it worked, it worked really well.
Pigpen's Mama says
My LO is in a Bright Horizon’s center in the DC area. It’s considerably less than your costs (‘only’ $2,000, as we’re not near a metro and in NoVa), but I think more expensive than some of the other centers. Location wise it was our best option, and I really do like her daycare, and her ‘teachers’ are great and really do seem to care for her, but I don’ t think that’s exclusive to BH.
That being said, the few things that I think are important, beyond the obvious general cleanliness/safety issues, are the ratio of caregivers to infants (we’re at 1:3, more than 3 babies per caregiver seems like a lot to handle) and the turnover of caregivers, especially once baby hits 7/8 months and separation anxiety kicks in. Having caregivers baby is used to makes drop-off so much smoother.
Anonymous says
Are you in the Crystal City location by chance? I am on the wait list now and would love to chat about your experience there.
ETA: Just saw you’re not near a metro, so I’m guessing not CC. Never mind!
CHJ says
This isn’t a direct answer, but is “keep looking” an option? We toured a daycare that sounded a lot like Daycare A, and it gave me the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach and I wanted to run away forever. We also toured several Bright Horizons (precisely like Daycare B), and they were fine but $2800-3500/month. We kept looking and asking everyone we knew for recommendations, and we finally found our lovely, bright, delightful daycare. It’s a Mandarin immersion daycare, which isn’t something we were seeking out, but we love it. And it’s only $1500/month, which was the same as Daycare A. So my advice would be to keep looking and expand your search beyond what you think you might be looking for to see if you can find something you like for less money.
That said, if more searching is not an option, I would choose Daycare B and suck up the cost. Being confident in your childcare option is so critical for success as a working mom, and for me, it’s worth the budget strain for a few years.
Newly pregnant says
Your daycare sounds wonderful! I do have some time to continue looking before my maternity leave ends so I will look for more options. And yes, Daycare A just makes me kind of sad.
AEK says
You saw my comment below, but let me just chime in once more to say that if it makes you sad now, it will not make you any less sad once baby is there…and it could make you very upset. I don’t want to impose my own feelings, but it’s important that you assess what level of sad/worry you can tolerate and still be able to work. I overestimated my own capacity to make peace with the tradeoffs.
Anon says
Yes agree with AEK completely!
Anon says
Have to agree with others–do not discount that sad feeling you get. Do your due diligence (e.g., tour at another time and ask about policies that limit time in bouncers, etc.), but if you still feel that way it will not be worth the savings to send your child there. We initially went with a “fine” daycare but it broke my heart to pick up a spaced-out baby in a swing with eyes glazed over or a crying baby alone in her crib. I started having trouble sleeping and working, and we decided to move her to a Bright Horizons daycare. It was like night and day–just walking in felt completely different. I could tell that her teachers were warm and engaged, the kids were happy, and I was totally content to leave her there. It wasn’t as much of a financial difference for us, but I would have made the switch even if it was.
Newly pregnant says
Thanks – this is my fear. I’m okay with her going to daycare. I’m about to start a great job that I’m really excited about, so it makes it worth it to me. But if I’m going to leave her all day I want it to be a good experience for her (and me!).
AEK says
This is a terrible time for me to reply to your question, because I just had a really sad drop-off with my 6-m0-old at daycare. We chose this one for good reason—it is literally in my office building—but knowing that it was a “Daycare A” situation in terms of quality. And it has been worth it for me to do a daily visit and breastfeeding during lunch (one less pumping session!) But even with that huge perk, after a month there, I cannot wait to get him into a better daycare. It’s pretty much passive care where he is; it’s clean, and they feed and change him regularly, but there is very little interaction (and I know it’s a lot to expect from daycare, but also no affection). I think most of the time he goes from play mat to exersaucer to floor without much human contact; he amuses himself. And they don’t regularly put him down for naps, so whatever sleep he gets is usually not in the crib but just falling asleep on the floor, which I can’t stand, because he gets these 20-minute “naps” instead of real sleep most days.
Anyway, my point is that I spend a lot of time worrying about him because I don’t like his situation. It’s fine for now, but if we didn’t already have a new place lined up for next month, I would be actively trying to move him. It’s hard enough being separated and missing him and pumping and all of that; worrying about his care constantly is too much. The guilt and worry that baby is not in a very good place is absolutely something you should consider before choosing Daycare A. But if it still makes sense to go with it, you will have thought it through, and your baby will be fine. (It’s you that might not be!) Just know yourself and what you will feel OK about.
anon says
Have you spoken to them about naps? Every daycare I have ever visited has pretty good nap routines and nap timing.
AEK says
Yes; they say the babies in his room (8 babies 3-12 months old) are too varied for them to be able to impose set naptimes, and they don’t have the staff for each baby to be put down on his/her own schedule. (Ratio is 4-1 and sometimes lower with extra help 3 days per week). So the result is a very ad hoc system where, if a baby looks tired / has already fallen asleep, they put him/her into the crib or a napper. I think if they can maintain a changing and feeding schedule for each baby (which they do), they should be able to do naps at regular intervals, but there is no effort to do so. It’s nap chaos. Putting a baby down for a nap *before* he/she is overtired is like Baby 101, and I’m just a dumb first-time-mom. (I do feel like we were misled about this on our visits and in the orientation paperwork, which required us to set out a nap schedule for him.)
Anon says
We initially went to a daycare like this. It was really hard, and the only babies that napped well were the ones who came as great sleepers. A good friend sent her kid there – who took 2 to 3 hour naps twice a day at 4 months old. She did great. My daughter did not sleep that well, and I got the exact same response you received. There was no help with scheduling. It was so frustrating and difficult. We also moved to an in-home daycare, and the situation was immediately improved.
RDC says
We’ve gotten the same response from two different (chain, otherwise good) daycares. Nap schedules start in the toddler room.
anon says
Our daycare is very similar (nap schedules start in toddler room, ratio is 1:4), but babies always nap in a crib, and they get to know each kid’s rough schedule and can put them in the crib when they are sleepy. This strikes me as kind of lazy on their part.
mascot says
A strict nap schedule was huge at our daycare at that age. Hopefully the next place is better.
Newly pregnant says
Thanks. I’m glad you have a better daycare situation lined up!
fdd says
is a home daycare an option? In the DC metro area, our home daycare is considerably cheaper than a big center, but it’s basically the same thing on a smaller scale. Two women there full time for 8 kids. We are using a more expensive home daycare because it was SO MUCH BETTER than the one that was $50/week cheaper, but still cheaper than Bright Horizons. Granted, the daycare is in the burbs and even a home daycare would be more expensive right downtown.
Newly pregnant says
Interesting. I hadn’t given at home care much consideration. How can you check licensing and all that?
Anon says
Start by finding the entity that regulates in-home childcare centers. For instance, here’s the Arlington website: http://family.arlingtonva.us/child-care/parent-and-family-resources/
Note that licensing is not necessarily an endorsement of the caregiver. I found that visiting was even more important for in-home centers (the set-ups will vary tremendously), as are the local parent listserve where opinions flow freely. You could even start by asking the local listserve for recommendations, then check the licensing of the recommended providers, then call and tour the facilities.
anon says
fdd from above. In Maryland, there is a website that lists every licensed home daycare by zip code — just name, license number and location. There’s another site that gives you a select list if you tell it the age of the child, location, hours. We ended up in one we found randomly through these sites — after visiting and talking to multiple parents. We also visited some that were NOT GOOD, so you may need to visit several.
Spirograph says
Another plug for home daycare. Unfortunately, ours recently closed and now we’re at a center, but the home daycare was great. 2-3 teachers for 6-8 kids, depending on the day. It was fully licensed, cheaper, more personal, and just as high of quality, instruction-wise, as our current center (which is also great, just ~$500/month more for two kids).
$1000 is a lot to spend for marginally better care. If you’re concerned that Daycare A will neglect your child, absolutely shell out for the better center, but if the difference is a couple stories and snuggles per day, I’d probably go with the cheaper option now with an eye toward an upgrade once your child is preschool age.
JEB says
Another +1 on the home daycare. We found ours through recommendations of two other neighbors and checked her license and inspection reports online (Northern Virginia). She has two helpers, and they keep 9-10 kids. It’s definitely not fancy, but we instantly felt comfortable when we visited her. There’s an obvious genuine affection for the kids that makes me really happy. And it’s so much more affordable than a big center. The trade off is that it’s not as structured as a center. They have a schedule with “reading time” and whatnot, but I think it’s mostly just play. We’ll probably switch our daughter into a more structured, educational environment at age 2, but right now (7 months), it’s perfect.
My best advice: go with your gut. And it sounds like your gut is telling you to keep looking. I had a really easy transition back to work because deep down, I was very comfortable with the care provider and knew my daughter would be safe and happy there. I had enough manufactured anxiety that I created in my mind, I don’t think I could have survived the transition if my gut told me it wasn’t right. Reach out to others, or if you don’t know people with kids, make use of neighborhood mom/parent message boards. They seem to be great resources for home daycares, nanny shares, etc.
Other says
Chiming in to say that a working parent is only as good as the care the child receives. If you don’t feel confident about your child’s placement, it will be extremely difficult to focus on working, and I’ve seen more than one working parent (usually the mom) quit if the care set-up fails. Go with your gut. If you don’t like daycare A now, you probably won’t like it much more later. I would take the spot in the pricey daycare, and keep your eyes open for Option C. Is it a nanny-share? An in-home daycare? Another daycare option? I gave a long-winded discussion of all the childcare set-ups we’ve cycled through, and really, don’t be afraid to keep looking until you find an option you feel great about. They are out there! Even if it feels like a logistical CF to get there.
Finally, possibly a minority opinion, but my husband and I have always been willing to spend seriously for childcare, even if it makes things extremely tight. We’ve forgone vacations, eating out, professional wardrobe additions, college savings, and retirement savings (terrible!) at times during the last 5 years. Our theory is that childcare costs will significantly decline in the coming years, and we can increase our savings goals commensurately. Also, it’s still financially better long-term for me keep me working, and I only feel good about continuing to work if I’m happy with my kids’ care. It’s a different story if the more expensive daycare means you can’t pay your bills, but having had both good and bad care for the kiddos – I can think of very few non-essential items that were “worth” the cost of feeling sick/worrying every minute after dropping my kid off.
Good luck!! That you are already thinking critically about it means you’ll figure it out.
Momata says
This is basically exactly what I was going to write. We have one kid in a top of the market daycare and another one on the way. We shopped around when faced with the outrageous numbers of having two in this top of the market daycare, and the other places just made me sad. The bigger bang for the buck seems to go toward above-required ratios (which in the infant room translates to somebody actually playing with / loving on the kids – at-ratio, it seems difficult for staff to do more than feed/change/provide the necessities), lower staff turnover and staff who are in that job because they want that job because they actually like children, and lighter/brighter/space and toys.
I feel like the extra money I spend to know that my kids are in as good of an environment I can put them in, when I can’t be with them, is some of the best money that I spend. We figured we’re not able to go on vacation anyway, don’t go out to eat, and I basically have stopped reading the main site because I have no budget for new clothes. We have some deferred house maintenance and aren’t contributing to college savings as much as I would like. But my kid LOVES going to daycare, is very attached to her teachers (which to me means they are attached to her), and is learning so much – the marginal cost is worth it to me to work guilt-free. Especially since these lean years won’t last forever.
Other says
Yes – agree! It’s a limited time expense, and again, another personal opinion, but I think it’s especially important to find a really amazing center for infants. As Momata says, extra cost is usually a reflection of staff, and a low ratio/better paid employees/low turnover are really important when it is hands-on care. When the kids get a little older, I think it’s easier to find more reasonably priced centers that still can provide a really fun, enriching environment.
Clementine says
I’m following this very closely-
Now a related question- I have two choices, same price. One is pretty good. One is AMAZING. Both are close enough to my office that I can go visit during the day and drop off/pick up is basically the same distance-wise.
Only major difference: Pretty Good daycare closes at 6. AMAZING daycare closes at 5:30. My office is here until 5:30 (with lots of ‘oh, I just need 5 minutes for x that keeps you here much later); however, for probably 75% of the time, I’m fairly certain that I can leave the 15 minutes early I need to pick up kiddo. Husband can handle 50% of drop offs/pick ups, but travels for work. I have friends/family who are willing to do emergency kiddo pickup duty as needed.
I feel like it’s going to be more of an issue for me to stand firm on my leave time than anything and as you can see from above, I really want to go with the one I find amazing. Am I nuts for not choosing the daycare that is open another 30 minutes??
(former) preg 3L says
30 minutes I don’t think will make or break you — especially if your H can do drop offs, and you can do pick ups, and whenever someone at work bothers you, you can tell them that you come in 30 minutes early to “make up” for the last 30 minutes of the day. Also, daycare will not leave your kid on the street at 5:30. Someone will stay. They’ll charge you an arm and a leg and give you dirty looks if you’re late, but they’ll care for your baby.
RDC says
Caution on this – read the fine print. Some daycares will kick you out if you’re repeatedly late for pickup.
That said, I’d go with the amazing one and consider it a benefit that you have a firm 5:15 departure time. It’ll give you a wee bit more time with baby in the evenings and you can log in after bedtime if necessary.
Momata says
This – 5:15 is a good thing for you! Nobody will push back against leaving for daycare pickup, and those extra 15 minutes – not a huge deal at work – will be a huge deal at home in the evenings, when that precious time before bedtime seems to just fly by.
Anon says
Do the 5:30 one. As a partner told me when I came back from mat leave, if you have to leave at 5:15 every day, the most important thing you’ll do each day is leave by 5:15. One of the busiest attorneys I worked with left every day at 5:30 to eat with his kids. Every person who worked with him knew he (a) would not be at his desk at 5:30, and (b) would get you whatever you needed after 8.
JJ says
I agree. Make it a hard and fast rule that you will leave by a certain time. It will take a few months for everyone to adjust to it, but once they do (and you’re still performing well and getting things done), it will just become part of the office culture that you leave at that certain time every day.
CHJ says
I agree – pick the Amazing Daycare. One of the first things you learn to say as a working mom is “I have to go get my kid from daycare.” Full stop, no apologies. It’s awkward at first, especially as a high-achieving person who is accustomed to doing the little extras to excel at work, but you get used to it and it’s so worth it. Plus having a hard stop at 5:30 will be nice anyway!
mascot says
+1. People don’t argue when it comes to having to leave to pick up a child. Most places are $1/minute for every minute you are late after pickup so there is real incentive to get there on time.
Meg Murry says
I think it depends on what your field is (I can’t remember if you are a lawyer or not), and how hard that 5:30 timeline is. If you are in a position where the office is open to clients or the public until 5:30, leaving every day at 5:15 could be problematic if you don’t have the support of your boss.
If it’s more that almost everyone sticks around to between 5:30 and 6:00 but you have flexibility to set your schedule (to a point) I think should go with the 5:30 – but set your regular leaving time at 5:00, not 5:15, so you aren’t making a mad dash to daycare daily.
Another option that helps is to have an alternating schedule with your husband – so on weeks he’s not traveling, he does pickup Tues-Thurs and you do MWF. That way you aren’t always seen as the one rushing out the door every day before everyone else – and that way, if you want to do a yoga class, pick up groceries on the way home, etc, you know that you can do it Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Clementine says
Thanks all! I have some time before kiddo is even born, but this is a decision that has really been weighing on me. Also, around here it’s not uncommon to get the actual offer off the waitlist like as soon as the kid is born. Thanks for the confirmation that I wouldn’t be insane to choose the daycare that I prefer.
To clear up a few details:
My office doesn’t see clients and I’m not a lawyer, but work in an office that has a bizarre culture where ‘lack of work-life balance’ is a badge of honor. There is NOTHING that we do that can’t wait 20 minutes, but my particular office within my organization seems to lack this understanding. We have a busy season and a slow season, and I feel like it would be no problem to have a hard leave time at 5:15 during the slow season.
Husband’s work schedule is such that 50% of the time, he can handle every single pickup. We’re planning to sync that up with my busy season as much as possible. In the absence of that, I have a pretty great network of people who are willing to help out and provide a plan B, C, D, E, and F for pickup.
I actually think this might help me maintain my personal sanity and will really encourage my coworkers to take less abuse.
Meg Murry says
When I was choosing between 2 daycare centers that were pretty much comperable but each had a few different pros, I basically went with the one that had space available the day I needed it, and stayed on the wait list for the other. That way, I had a plan B, so if the place I originally picked wasn’t working out so well, I could switch to the other place when/if they offered me a spot off the wait list. If there isn’t a big cost to you, I’d put yourself on the wait list for both, and re-evaluate once you are on mat leave in case something major changes. In our case, one of the other daycares in town closed their infant program, and the wait list at my first choice got much longer very quickly – so I was glad I had gone ahead and put myself on the wait list for both since they only charged a minimal amount (like $25 or $50) to be on the wait list.
Clementine says
Great minds think alike! I was planning on doing that.
Better to get to choose than have no choices at all.
Jen says
I’ve had our child in 2 daycares (we moved) and both allowed the teachers to babysit on teh side. One parent had a situation like you described and used one of the teachers as her regular pick-up. It wasn’t an emergency option, but rather, “i’m going to be working late Tues and Fri- can you take Baby home and I’ll be there by 6:30”.
Obviously YMMV on this but if you don’t have this option, you might be able to hire a sitter/neighbor/other party for scheduled or emergency daycare pickups. Our last daycare had a LOT of babysitter pickups (and they closed at 6:30!)
Jdubs says
As a NYC mom with 2 kids in daycare here are my thoughts…
I originally had child #1 registered and ready to go in a “Daycare B”… however last minute something fishy happened with my communication with the owner and I didn’t have a good feeling about it. So scrambling to find something else, I found an in-home option which was like 1/2 the cost. To be honest, you aren’t “wowed” when you walk through the door, but my kids have been there for 4+ years now and it has been great! The owner and her daughters are like 2nd family to us at this point. It is great that they have so much flexibility, now that my 4 year old is in school she is able to go back to the daycare on breaks and days off. Here is the link to find an “in-home” option in NYC:
http://ocfs.ny.gov/main/childcare/ccfs_template.asp
Newly pregnant says
Thanks, all! You’ve definitely given me and my husband some things to think about. I appreciate all of the responses and perspective.
Samantha says
(1) Did you compare teacher:child ratios between daycare A and B, as a smaller ratio is preferable, all else equal. (2) The individual teachers in the classroom matter a great deal. Go again to Daycare A and watch them closely. See how they respond to a crying baby, or to a baby who is tussling with another one – that might help you make your decision.
Jen says
For an extra $1k-$1200/month, you could consider keeping baby in daycare A 3-4 days/week and getting a sitter or nanny 1 day / week. Even at $15-$20/hour….then one day per week your kid gets 1:1 time all day long and all kinds of extra enrichment.
We do 3 days/week at a good enough but not knock your socks off daycare, 2 days with a sitter. Our other daycare options are more like an A- when our current is a B+ (no “A” or “A+” options available nearby, at any price). Our daycare is safe, our daughter is happy. But like you we aren’t wow’d by the preschool curriculum. She’s a fall baby so we have a bit of time to figure things out- at 21 months, she’s got at least 2-3 more years until she’s ready for the 4 year old class. At that point we’ll likely have a second kid and the childcare situation may be completely different.
PhillyAnon says
Long-time lurker and first-time poster (used to be in a very different time zone) with a bit of a long-shot question here… Does anyone have any recommendations for or experience with childcare and preschool options in the Manayunk or Roxborough areas of Philadelphia? We have an almost 3 yo son and 8 mo old daughter, and moved here from overseas last month. My husband is home with the kids due to immigration stuff and job hunting for the next month or two, but we will be needing at least part-time care starting in September, and our son would probably benefit from preschool to help his expressive English if nothing else (he understands English but speaks toddler Franglais). Thanks in advance for any advice!
anon says
Join this great moms’ group—tons of info and great feedback
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!forum/pennsymoms
PhillyAnon says
Thanks!
Anony says
I’ve just made it to 35 weeks, and I am exhausted. I feel like I’ve been run over by a semi. I dragged myself into the office today, but I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the day. I don’t remember feeling quite this tired with my first, but that was 6 years ago.
Any tips/tricks on making it through an entire day of meetings? I’m in the homestretch of finishing up projects before I go out on leave, so I need these to be productive and I need to be on my game.
anonyc says
I might get shot down h-core for this but: a power nap at your desk, then a small cup of coffee, caffeinated soda, or tea. I was always a heavy coffee drinker, and detoxed totally for most of my first, but definitely had a cup of coffee every day with subsequent pregnancies. For one, my doctor okayed the one-cup-a-day regime, and for two, I needed it. I had a lot of my plate work-wise with all pregnancies, and also needed to just power through. I otherwise had normal/easy pregnancies and healthy babies.
AEK says
Oh yes, I think some caffeine is pretty much required in this situation.
Anon says
I’m pregnant and still drink a cup a day. I thought the understanding was that anything up to two cups a day was fine by most of the medical community (and I think most of the risk is in the first trimester with miscarriage)? I would second a short nap and an 8 oz. cup of something with caffeine (if you are comfortable with it).
Marilla says
Same here – I am sticking with one cup a day, confident in the knowledge that Emily Oster thinks up to 4 is ok!
Momata says
I still drink one cup a day as well – I think the advice is keeping it below 200mg caffeine. (Some days I cheat and make a second cup out of the same K-cup, on the theory that K-cup cups of coffee are small to begin with and the second one is weaker.)
layered bob says
yep I’m at this stage right now and a “caffeine nap” is the only thing that gets me through an afternoon. A grande iced coffee followed by a 15 minute nap at my desk. And 10 minute mid-afternoon walk outside, or at least five minutes around the office. I always want the cookies at the meetings but they only make me more sleepy – although sometimes I grab one in case of true falling-asleep emergency, when I can eat to stay awake.
My midwife tells me increasing my vitamin D and iron intake will also help.
quailison says
In addition to caffeine – I found practicing good posture while sitting to be very important for both obtaining and faking alertness while in my third trimester.
Katarina says
If it is not oppressively hot out, I have found a short walk outdoors to be helpful (on top of caffeine).
pockets says
Gear q: looking to transition my baby from bottle to sippy for her morning milk (afternoon milk is already in a sippy). She gets 9 oz in the morning. Recommendation for a 9 oz + sippy cup? Preferably one that the Amazon fairy can bring me.
ADE says
Along these lines, anyone deal with a 14-month old who refuses to drink milk out of anything other than a bottle (but will drink water out of a sippy/straw cup)?? I think I’ve tried every cup that Amazon will send me. Is it worth stressing about?
pockets says
I asked the pediatrician the same thing and his advice was basically, Force it. Just only offer milk in a sippy and if your child doesn’t want it, s/he doesn’t have to drink it. After a few days your child will start drinking out of a sippy. In that time you can give extra yogurt or cheese to make up the calcium. It worked for us (although I cheated a little, I deputized the nanny to handle it).
anne-on says
We did the think baby bottle/sippy cup/straw cups. It has a conversion kit for the top, but the body shape is the same clear plastic that most bottles have. That and the ‘soft’ sippy spout were enough to convince my kid to drink milk out of them. And yes, we forced the issue by literally tossing (putting in the attic) every single bottle we had in the house. If my son saw a bottle, game over, he flat out refused a sippy cup. After 2-3 days of a milk strike he gave in.
Meg Murry says
Do you warm the bottles, and are you warming the sippy/straw cups of milk? My older son is 8 and still prefers his morning milk warmed up to room temperature instead of cold from the fridge.
Otherwise, I’m with everyone else that you just go cold turkey and make the bottles disappear. Hand him the sippy of milk and walk away. No cajoling, no begging, no indulging of a temper tantrum. If he doesn’t drink it at all or only a few sips, put back in the fridge to try again later that day. And offer string cheese or yogurt in the meantime.
anon says
Yes. I kept giving my kids the bottles until they were 2. It made them happy. Their dentist says there are no problems with their teeth. They drank water out of sippy cups. At 2, we did the cold turkey.
kc esq says
There are Nuk sippy cup tops that fit on the Nuk bottles.
Bedtime says
Advice on bedtimes for toddlers and babies? I’m in a bind: Currently a single mom at least 80% of the time for husband’s work (so really, this is me here). I have a just 2 year old and a 6 month old. Our 2 year old barely sleeps – he no longer naps during the day. Right now he sleeps from about 9PM until 7AM. Our 6 month old is also sleeping from 9PM until 7AM.
What this means is that basically around 8:30 everyone gets changed into PJs and all three of us lay in my bed while I nurse the 6 month old until everyone is asleep, then I put them in their respective beds. This worked. It is no longer working for me.
I would like to be able to put the 2 year old to bed on his own, but every time he goes into his room and the door shuts, he freaks out. He went through a fairly significant trauma earlier this year and so I am not okay just putting him in his room and shutting the door.
Can anyone share tips/routine/schedule for bedtime that could help my 2-year old be able to go to sleep in his own room?
NYC_tech says
Put him in the room with a gate across the doorway, and the door open? This makes a huge difference in terms of his comfort level, if he can hear and/or see you. When he starts crying at the gate, drop in every 5 minutes or so to pat his head, give a kiss, guide back to bed, and leave again. Rinse and repeat until he sleeps. A few nights of this and he might just pop off happily to bed.
We resisted the gate at first because it seemed so… zoo-like. But it worked like magic, and after the first week, my son refused to sleep without it. He somehow saw it as a comforting part of his routine.
kc esq says
Wow — my twins are still in cribs, but this is a great idea if it comes to that down the road. Thanks!
anon says
What part of this isn’t working for you? (For example, if you are nursing while he is sleeping, I’m not sure how you are doing to drop in every 5 minutes to pat him on the head).
A couple of ideas –
You sit and nurse the baby in his room, at least as a transition.
You offer to stay for X amount of minutes (we do 10), and then leave. Sometimes they are so sleepy and settled by then that it’s OK.
Fancy nightlight
Spirograph says
I hope other people have advice, because I am in the same. exact. position. and I’m going nuts. 2 year old was great about bedtime until about a month ago, and now – for no discernable reason – he refuses to sleep. He’ll wander out of his room looking for me/DH (gates don’t help, he climbs them), or bounce around his room “reading” or singing in the dark, playing with toys, or screaming that he needs water/a hug/the cat/whatever until after 10pm (he still naps; maybe this is part of the problem). My kids share a room, and it’s hit or miss whether the 6 month old sleeps through this commotion. He eventually tires himself out and falls asleep on the floor; I honestly wouldn’t care what he did before that if he’d just stay in his room and be fairly quiet. We’ve tried everything from “logic” to yelling to threats to take away favorite toy the next day… nothing works.
So here’s what used to work for us, in case it works for you: Everyone gets changed into PJs. I sit in bed and read two stories of 2-year-old’s choosing while nursing the baby. I turn off the light, move to the rocking chair next to the bed (still holding baby, 2 year old lies down) and sing two songs also of 2-year-old’s choosing. On a good day, baby’s alseep by the end of the songs, and I put her in bed, give son a kiss, and tiptoe out, leaving the door open and a gate across the door. We keep all the lights off in the immediate vicinity except for a small night light in the kids’ room. Occasionally son would come to the gate and yell within the first half hour, but a quick hug and reminder that nighttime is for sleeping would send him right back to bed. This never happened more than once on any given night.
Most frequently now, baby and I relocate to a chair outside the bedroom where I can intercept 2-year-old as he leaves his room and tell him to go back to bed, and I sit vigil there until he gives up or my husband takes over. Or if the baby’s asleep and 2 year old is mostly sleepy, I’ll put the baby in bed and lie down next to the toddler bed so my son can’t escape. This is not ideal, but I keep hoping it will be temporary.
Meg Murry says
In our case, what happened was that it started getting dark later and later, so that kept my son up later and later since he could still see to play.
What (sort of) works for us:
-1 Good quality blackout blinds under the curtains
-2 Removing all interesting toys and books from the bedroom. We put bookshelves in the hallway outside the bedroom for these things, and I considered moving the bed to a closet and gating him off in there (more for naptime distractions than bedtime)
-2 Following the “supernanny” advice of making getting out of bed less exciting. First time out of bed – hug, goodnight, I love you, say “It’s time for sleeping, stay in bed”. Second time, just “Goodnight, time to sleep.” Third time- lead/carry back to bed and only say “Go to sleep”. Fourth time and up – Just pick up and put back in bed, don’t say anything. Note – we only did this if he left the room or was otherwise thumping around or yelling – if he was quietly walking around the room talking to his stuffed animals and crashed out on the floor we didn’t really care.
If the 6 month old isn’t sleeping through the commotion, could you put him back in a pack and play in your room for bedtime and then move to the crib when you go to bed?
Other says
I would start with a routine that ends in the 2 yr old’s room. Bath, the jammies/teeth brushing, then a book in 2 yr old’s room, then lights out and end with a special song, poem, prayer, whatever. Just pick something and stick to it every night. You can stay in his room rocking/nursing 6 month old until he falls asleep. After a few days when he has the new routine down, you can work on the Sleep Lady Shuffle – you can google, but it’s basically, you sit next to his bed for 3 days, then move the chair across the room for 3 days, then chair in the door for 3 days, until you are out of the room after the special song/poem, etc. that signifies it’s bedtime. I would also consider moving bedtime up a little after you have the new routine down. I put my 2 yr old down between 7:30 and 8, and that seemed to work well (I think she still napped then, so maybe even earlier for th enon-napping set?)
hoola hoopa says
+1
...j says
I swear by dutch doors for the kids rooms, and turn the handles so lock is on the outside. Easier to DIY than I expected, but if you are willing to invest you can buy them at Home Depot. I would suggest that you pick up some cheap doors to DIY, if you have solid wood doors to rehang once the kids are a bit older.
For the first few nights when we hit the 2 year tantrum stage, I would put the kid down to bed, read a story, hug/kiss goodnight, and walk out. Every time their feet hit the floor, I would go back in, put the kid back in bed, rub their back until they stop trying to get up, and leave the room (no smiles, no talking other than “back to bed,” etc). Took roughly 30 minutes and 20 trips the first night, and by the end of the week they’d crawl into bed without complaint. There were some tears, but more tears of frustration than scared/sad.
Jen says
I have a 21 month old that has been in her own bed since ~19 months. When we moved (~20 months) she started freaking out if we left the room after she went to bed. Our solution has been to sit in a chair and read/work silently, or sit outside her (half open) door and read/work silently. I could see this scenario working well with an infant that needs nursing.
Or, and/or, could the older one help tuck in baby? Make it more of a routine?
FWIW our 21 month old sleeps ~8:30/9- ~7/7:30 and naps from 1-3 every day. She’s in daycare and runs herself ragged, apparently- they often have to wake her up because she’s still sleeping at 3:30.
NYC_tech says
I hope this comment is acceptable – I’m a regular commenter – but if not, my apologies and please delete. I am selling all of my cloth diaper supplies (prefolds, FuzziBunz, and BumGenius). I’ve learned so much from the wisdom of the commenters on this site that I’m willing to offer a discount if anyone here wants to buy them. Email me at the address in the profile for more info. Pickup in metro NYC area.
HSAL says
There’s no link in the profile, just NYC_tech (at least on Chrome).
NYC_tech says
Sorry about that, and thanks for pointing it out. I thought my email address would show up but I guess not. Email is huis.huuren.amsterdam at google mail. I’ll send the full set of links by email to anyone interested.
I also put one of the links in the profile for this comment (I think) – this is one lot of the diapers. The others can be found by clicking “see more ads by this user”.
anon says
Any recommendations for a household employee payroll tax service (or, alternatively, if you do it yourself, how hard is it)?
pockets says
payprep.com
Carrie M says
Sorry if this appears twice. I haven’t needed to do this, but moms in my area use Breedlove, Sure Payroll, and Intuit. Some also do it themselves and rely on an online calculator from ADP to help extrapolate from the hourly pay rate to figure out taxes. I’ve heard it can be tricky to figure out at first, but once you’ve got a spreadsheet set up, it’s really easy.
sfg says
Sure Payroll. Works well for us at half the cost of Breedlove.
anonyc says
Speaking of daycares and transitions, there is really nothing worse than “phase-ins.” Just the worst. Sure, I’m available for 30 minutes of school one day, two hours another, and on, and on. Got my latest schedule for a new daycare this morning and I think the universe is conspiring so that I don’t work in September. I’ve kvetched loudly about how June is the worst, schedule-wise, but this September might be a total banner month for us (late Labor Day, two!!! phase-in periods to handle for daycare and preschool, tons of holidays that mean days off, no after care, etc.). /end vent
HSAL says
I won’t be dealing with daycare until December, so I had to google “phase-in”. This is seriously a thing? I’m semi-willing to be convinced otherwise by moms who have been there before, but from where I sit now, that’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard.
ETA: I do plan on taking her for a couple short days before I officially go back to work, but that’s more for me than for her.
EP-er says
What? Even if your child is already at the facility, you still need to transition them again in September? For weeks? I’m really curious about this — where my son went to preschool, they purposefully closed the blinds the first few weeks so that parents weren’t peeking in. You left them at the door, in the care of the preschool, and that was it!
anonyc says
Oy, it is a thing, and I also didn’t believe it at first–I’d been shielded because our old daycare didn’t have it. It. is. the. worst. My daycare kiddo, for example, will have been in FT care (9-6) for a year by the time we start our “phase-in” at the new place. I can almost understand why kids who are coming from a SAHParent or nanny situation might need some extra adjustment time, but my kids have been FT since the get-go and, honestly, are pretty much ready to roll. I wish at least that it was optional so those of us who work FT and who don’t have nannies can not loose even more time to this process. Also, my 4.5 year old, who has been attending her school for 2 years now, most definitely doesn’t need any time to transition (having just been at said school for camp all summer!). Garumph.
Final kicker: this transition comes with no discount to account for the additional care we’ll have to pay for now. Of course. Stressing about this stuff and scrambling for coverage is the one time I start thinking that staying home would be better. (Only for about 30 seconds.)
EP-er says
Wow. I don’t know what to say, other than that is crazy! What happens if you just don’t attend? Will your children get kicked out of their programs? The whole point of day care is that you have to work…. it just doesn’t compute.
Meg Murry says
Ugh. That sounds awful. Our daycare does a 3 day phase-in for new families (and let us compress it to 2 days for kid #2) but only for when you are brand new. First day you spend part of the day in the classroom with the kids, second day part day in the classroom and part day in the lobby or they encourage you to run an errand and the third day is typically the parent mostly sitting in the lobby or break room working (and they give you the wifi password). It’s really more for the parents than kid.
My issue is that although the whole center only closes for 1 day, the pre-kindergarten classroom closes for 2 more days and the preschool classrooms for one more day, to allow the teachers to re-set up their classroom for the next wave of kids. Which is fine and all, but annoying since it wasn’t on the regular center’s full calendar (until this year – the director agreed with me to add it).
It doesn’t end though. Our school district has “bring in your supplies and meet the teacher” times -but it is one random hour the day or two before school starts, usually something like 1-2 pm or 3-4 pm – and there is no coordination between schools, so you could have to take your kindergartener at 1 pm, and then sit around until taking your 2nd grader at 3 pm – but that is the same time as the 6th grader at a different school building. Luckily, my son is old enough now that he’s ok with Grandma or babysitter taking him for that hour – but it’s so damn annoying since otherwise I don’t get to meet his teacher until a few weeks into the school year for conference night.
Due in December says
I remember from a previous thread that quite a few people had given birth at GWU Hospital in DC, and I thought I’d ask a couple of easy questions I’ve been pondering (as apparently I’m too impatient to wait for my tour). I’m planning on going with the OBs, not the midwives. I know there are tubs for labor that a first-come, first-serve, but are there things like birthing balls, birthing stools, etc. available? Were you permitted to drink/eat? Any experiences with non-medicated v*ginal childbirth that you’d be willing to share (in case I happen to end up going that route)?
Anonymous says
Does anyone else get offended by the concept of “mom brain”? I mean I feel like I am a functional adult and that my mind is not pudding.
NewMomAnon says
I was offended by it before I had a kid, but that first year after baby was born – yeah, I struggled. Between sleep deprivation, enormous amounts of new responsibilities, the disruption of pumping, hormones….I fully embraced the idea of “mom brain.” I remember sitting down to figure out a basic issue in my field, and realizing that I had no idea where to even start. It’s a lot better now though, and I would be offended if someone used it to describe my current capacity.
Katarina says
I am offended. In my job I regularly come across my old work, and the quality of my work seems to have more or less continuously improved, despite pregnancy and becoming a mother (I was very inexperienced when I first became pregnant).
AEK says
I am mildly offended by the term. The concept of being sleep deprived and stretched very thin has been very real for me, though.
Also, I can accuse myself of having “mom brain” but if someone else said it, I wouldn’t take kindly to it.
NewMomAnon says
Ok, so I posted about feeling like my e-mail inbox was out of control a few weeks ago, and someone suggested setting filters and rules. I used to have a system, but it didn’t work very well and I ended up missing a lot of important e-mails because they were tucked into folders before I saw them. Does anyone have a good system for how they manage work e-mail? I think my e-mails fall into four buckets – (1) spam/general industry e-mails; (2) e-mails about current projects (urgent and voluminous); (3) e-mails about old projects (urgency varies); and (4) random e-mails about new projects (urgency varies, sporadic but often “very urgent”). Then there are also networking connections, social e-mails, etc but not very many of those.
Would love any suggestions or recommendations for resources.
(former) preg 3L says
I have folders for EVERYTHING, and my inbox contains anything I’m actively dealing with. If my day is crazy, my inbox gets out of control. I try to take 10 minutes every few hours to deal with it, but sometimes that only happens once a day. Really helps me stay focused and on top of things.
mascot says
The first folder(s) I’d set up would be all the industry/CLE/professional group listserve external emails. I get probably 15 a day of that type so removing them helps a lot for clutter. Then try to set up folders by project. You can flag items that need to be done in the task list (Outlook gives some options for adding dates and alerts). Flagging emails with tasks assigned to you might help you cull through a bunch of group chatter. Also, figure out if threading convos helps or hurts for certain projects. If nothing else, it removes a lot of visual clutter and makes it easy to move emails to the right folder.
There are ways to make emails with certain keywords and senders appear in different colors or different parts of the screen based on priority. My assistant had all of her lawyers color-coded in her inbox