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I haven’t shopped at Express since my early 20s, but maybe I should give them another look.
This double-breasted blazer would fit in any wardrobe — it comes in several office-friendly colors (and a fun emerald green for the weekends) and sports a classic notch lapel, functional flap pockets, and padded shoulders for definition. And it’s machine washable too!
I’d add a pair of classic cigarette pants and booties for a comfortable yet professional look.
Express’ Supersoft Double Knit Double Breasted Blazer is $138 available in regular sizes XXS–XL. Right now, nearly all petite sizes are out of stock (here’s hoping for a restock soon).
An option in sizes 14–28 is this Eloquii blazer; it’s $119.95 full price but is currently 50% off (with an extra 10% off) with code EARLY.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
My kids were exposed to COVID on Sunday and we found out yesterday. They get to stay home for 10 days from exposure even with negative testing because they’re both young and unvaccinated (well, my 7yo son has had only one dose of Pfizer), which puts it at next Wednesday which is of course a day of no school, so that means they’re out through Thanksgiving. Today’s my birthday and also one of the busiest times of the year for me, work-wise. My husband is in trial first week of December so he’s crazy busy too. Happy day for all! Thoughts and prayers appreciated. Eff this noise :)
strollerstrike says
Woah 10 days is so long for „just“ exposure.
I honestly don’t know the best approach.
We are in Germany, numbers are the worst they have ever left been. We were notified that someone tested positive in my two year old’s daycare last week but all they do is send that person home and test teachers and kids everyday for a week.
I kept him home for three days because he had a bad cough and a little fever (as did. most of the kids in daycare)but send him back in after the weekend.
Not feeling great about it but can’t justify it to work if there is no official Quarantine requirement…
Anon says
Happy birthday. Buy yourself some cupcakes. :)
Anonymous says
Ugh I’m so sorry. I’d go into emergency mode and order/outsource all that you can. And seconding the other poster, get yourself a treat for your birthday!
Anonymous says
Oof, I’m sorry. Agreed on the cupcakes, you have to find some silver linings where you can. I hope your birthday gets better!
Similar to what strollerstrike said… I was on a call with someone in Houston yesterday who asked, “what do you mean by ‘cohort’?” when I was explaining my kids’ school’s covid protocol, and went on to say that was never a thing in her area at all, everything has been normal for a year for her kids. It boggles my mind a bit how much variation there is in approach, from region to region, even from school to school within the same city.
Cb says
Ooof, we don’t quarantine for exposure but just for notice of a second case at nursery and aren’t sure what the closure threshold is. Husband managed to lateral flow test son last night and we will continue testing every other day or so.
So Anon says
Ugh. I’m sorry that you are in this boat! It stinks! Sending all the thoughts and prayers. My kids were exposed last week, and the whole school is remote for this week. The administration is saying that the school will be back in-person on Monday and Tuesday, but I find that very unlikely.
Remember that one week of all the screen time is totally fine so that you can work. Break out the paper plates and the easy meals. This time around, instead of a color-coded schedule, I made a list of snacks and where my kids could find them. And definitely order whatever your favorite food and dessert is. Happy Birthday!
govtattymom says
I’m so sorry! That is a lot to be dealing with and it sucks this all happened on your birthday!
EDAnon says
Sending love and birthday wishes (and some healthy well-haves kiddo time)! I am so sorry!
You will get through it. We all do, but it is so f*ing hard.
Anon says
One of my besties also had an exposure and is stuck quarantined with her 5 month old, 4 year old and 6 year old. Good luck and happy bday! You deserve all the cake
Anonymous says
Hello from day 9 at home with a quarantined 13 month old! Sending good vibes and suggestions to order all the takeout, send out all the laundry, and see if anyone is able to help with child care (I drove to my parents’ house for a few days to get help).
Anonymous says
What is with the top underneath the blazer?!? That looks like something people would have worn clubbing when I was in college.
anne-on says
Ha, that reminds me of my deluded approach to workwear in my first job – throw a blazer on it! Going out top + blazer = work appropriate! It didn’t help that Chanel style blazers plus a silky camisole WAS a big ‘going out look’ back in the early aughts. Thank GOD my boss at my second investment banking job took me aside and outlined what a work suit should be (no, just because they sold suits at Bebe did not make them appropriate for work…).
AwayEmily says
I wore *knee socks* to one of my first jobs.
KNEE SOCKS.
Granted, it was a “hip” consulting firm, but still…
anon says
I wore one of those backless shirts that were super popular in 2000-2001 to an internship at a political consulting company.
ElisaR says
i was going to respond, what do you expect, it’s Express? but then I scrolled up and i was like “oooh kinda looks like the L’Agence top from anni sale…. I kinda like it!” haha, i get what you’re saying though.
Anon says
I’ve seen stuff like this, (faux) leather, and other items from lots of influencers lately being passed off as work attire and I’m confused about where people work where that’s appropriate? Don’t get me wrong, they are cute in the right setting, but I’m wondering if it’s confusing to younger women just entering the workforce and making what’s “work appropriate” unclear. Obviously very industry dependent.
Anonymous says
I think this was the genesis of the parent of this s i te. What influencers and fashion magazines think is work attire and what is actually work attire in a professional setting are very different things.
Joggers says
Where do you find joggers for kids that last? Last spring I purchased from Hanna as I was tired of the holes. After less than ten wears, my son came home with holes on his bottom. This week it was holes in the Target pants he had worn maybe 3 times. He is a cautious kid so I do not understand why pants cannot hold up longer
Anonymous says
Knit pants just do not hold up to outdoor play for some kids. You need jeans or cargo pants.
[email protected] says
+1. Thick polarfleece might be slightly more durable.
Anon says
Yah, this happens. Reinforced knees help, but probably not with bottom holes! Tell all your relatives that like to buy clothes that you want only pants for the next several years.
I have three boys and our hand me downs are heavy on shirts; after about age 3-4 there are barely any pants that survive even one kid
Spirograph says
Yup. We get iron knee pants from Lands End, but they manage to get holes other places. I mend small holes (like my daughter somehow has a tear in in her leggings on the back of her thigh. how?!) but I would say 25% of pants get beyond repair before they’re outgrown, and jeans get fashionably distressed. :) I really think it’s just playing hard, not a quality of clothing thing. There’s only so much you can do.
anne-on says
I’ve been pretty pleased with the Jcrew and Gap slim leg sweats/joggers. My kid is not gentle on his clothes and these have held up well enough to be handed down for the past 2-3 years.
Anonymous says
Second Gap joggers. My son that typically destroys all clothes has several pairs of Gap joggers I bought on Black Friday last year that are going strong.
AnonATL says
Not sure how old your kid is, but we have chino type material joggers from Carters that are pretty sturdy for our rough toddler.
ElisaR says
hanna has some w/ reinforced knees…. they still get holes but it takes longer for the skin to show on them
Anonymous says
The only ones that have worked for us are target lined joggers with reinforced knees. Still get holes after 8ish months.
EDAnon says
We have had good luck with Primary.
Anon says
Polarn O Pyret is expensive but wears very well.
Allie says
The Cat and Jack target line has a one year guarantee so I think you can exchange any ones with holes for new ones.
Anonymous says
We live in arctic New England. My girls (5,8) need pants to wear outside on days when it can be as low as 20 in the morning at the bus stop and at recess, but that they won’t overheat in once inside school. Jeans & cords are the obvious answer to me, but one won’t wear either of those. She thinks sweats are ugly.
Suggestions?
FWIW once it gets really cold, the kids wear snow pants over their clothes at recess so it becomes less of an issue.
Anonymous says
Old Navy sometimes has fleece leggings that might fit the bill.
AwayEmily says
Look for fleece lined leggings/pants. They’re called different things at different places — sometimes “cozy leggings,” or “thick leggings.” Our sources: Childrens Place (they have free shipping on everything so you can try out just a few), Target (tho I don’t know if they go above 5T), and H&M (there they are called “thick jersey leggings”). We also have a pair of legwarmers from Target that my 5yo wears when we walk to school on chilly days.
anne-on says
This – Jcrew and Gap both have a few pairs of lined cords/pants every year but they sell out FAST – do not wait for coupon codes.
Anonymous says
Target does go above 5T.
Agree with this recommendation. I also like Gap and JCrew’s winter/cozy/fuzzy/fleece leggings. Agree that each place calls them something different, so you need to search a bit to get everyone’s terms identified. All but the JCrew ones are basically tight fleece sweatpants. I like having one pair of black JCrew ones each season – they’re a much nicer material so nice for a bit dressier outfits/days.
Spirograph says
What about cute leg warmers? So 80s, but so practical! I used to wear them under my work trousers for my bike /public transit commute and they did the trick. They can wear them over leggings and call it fashion, then remove when they get to school.
ElisaR says
smart
Anonymous says
H&M has thicker and fuzzy-inside leggings (I think they’re the “brushed-inside” leggings) that we’ve been liking for several winters. They also have cord leggings that could work, although we haven’t tried those yet.
Anonymous says
Here are the ones I got this season, although they have other styles if you peruse the site https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0620208001.html
Anonymous says
Also FWIW I don’t like jeans in this situation for myself because I find they get cold and frozen/stiff when I’m outside. Softer cords are better for the one who is open to that style of pant.
Anonymous says
What pants do they like? Can you just get long underwear to layer under whatever magical pant is not jeans, cords, or sweats?
I am kind of grateful my son DNGAF what he wears and just takes whatever is on top in his drawer.
anne-on says
They are $$ but the Patagonia base layer pants are thin and SO cozy. My kid will sleep in them if I let him.
Realist says
Uniqlo has pretty affordable long underwear to layer.
AIMS says
So my daughter’s NYC school kept all windows open last year because of Covid. You need Uniqlo Heattech leggins.
Quality is great, too – still going strong this year.
DLC says
+1 to uniqlo Heat Tech. We have the shirts and leggings and my kids layer them under their clothes without complaint and even sleep in them.
Anonymous says
As someone who used to work with kids, I beg you not to layer long underwear or leggings under your kids’ pants! They get hot in overheated classrooms, complain about being uncomfortable, and stink to high heaven.
anonamommy says
A close friend is throwing a party in her small apartment for a milestone event. She has a toddler. She thinks at least 25-30 people will show up, some with kids, and thinks (but is not verifying) that they are all vaccinated. We are opting not to go because I’m not ready to do something with lots of people in a small space, and my kiddo is not fully vaccinated yet. Friend is upset that I won’t be there to celebrate. I’m sad to miss it but at the same time don’t think her anger at me is justified – different people have different risk tolerances right now. Our area has a relatively high vax rate but cases are trending sharply up over the last 2 weeks. WWYD? (Going solo is not an option for reasons I won’t get into, it’s either me + kiddo or no one.)
Anonymous says
Friend needs to take a chill pill. If there are 25-30 people there, she won’t even miss you. Offer to get together with her to celebrate in a safe way one-on-one.
Anon says
Your friend can be sad, but mad is a weird reaction. Hopefully you can get together another time and she relaxes. Her anger may reflect that she’s suddenly nervous that no one is going to come, though that should have been predictable.
Anonymous says
I would feel the same way you do (would not go, would be sad to miss it and a bit hurt at her anger). I was just thinking yesterday that my response as a parent of unvaccinated kids (due to age) to any social invitation is “how do I say no? I mean I know how I would say no…” (Good Place reference).
But more detail on your situation — the number of people is problematic for me. The not knowing for sure everyone’s vax status is problematic. I also don’t trust people not to show up sick, COVID or not (or maybe). I feel so crunched right now as a parent of young children. If I get sick and have to COVID test, my kids cannot go to daycare while the test is pending, which means I’m trying to work + care for young children + recover from whatever sickness…and that’s just a lot to deal with and I’m not going to take on that risk lightly. It’s ok for different people to have different risk tolerances and your friend should respect yours and gracefully accept that you are declining.
TheElms says
I would not feel comfortable doing this. I would decline and offer to take her and her toddler with your toddler out for hot chocolate / lunch outside (if its still warm enough)/ have them to lunch/dinner at your house or something similar to celebrate.
NYCer says
Tbh 25-30 people in a small apartment doesn’t sound pleasant to me even in non-Covid times.
That being said, if you don’t want to go, you should absolutely skip it without feeling guilty. I would skip it too in your shoes. Can you plan something separate with this friend to celebrate her milestone event? Outdoor lunch or drinks?
AwayEmily says
Yeah, I think you are fine. I think in general right now a lot of people (not here on this board where people are generally reasonable, but out in the real world) could benefit from dialing down the judgment on people who have different cost-benefit analyses. I don’t mean being okay with anti-vaxxers or sending sick kids to school, but at this point there are a lot of choices (going to parties, eating at restaurants, taking your kids to the grocery store, having indoor playdates) where there’s just not a clear “right” answer, and there’s just no sense in being a jerk to people who make different choices than you, whether those choices are more cautious or less cautious. So yeah, your friend is being judgy, but so are a lot of people right now. When it happens to me (and I have the emotional capacity to be generous), it helps to remember it’s based on their own insecurity and worries, and is not actually about me.
Anonymous says
Send flowers and let it go. You’re fine to not go. She’s also fine to be upset, she’s clearly important to you and it is sad and upsetting you can’t go.
This matters more to her than you so just let it go.
Spirograph says
You can’t control anyone’s reaction. I’m assuming you sent regrets graciously without judging her for hosting the event. That’s all you can do. If you’re inclined, maybe schedule a separate way to celebrate the event with her that’s more in your comfort zone, but don’t feel pressured to do something that you feel is too risky.
Anon says
I would not do that; I am increasingly OK with well-spaced or smaller indoor events with my kid given case and vaccine rates in our area (and I have started double masking her, which she is tolerating), but that many people in a small apartment is too much for me. I am throwing a similar party this weekend, but it is *outside* (well bundled, with a fire pit, because brr). And no hard feelings from anyone who has rsvp’d no because they are traveling, aren’t willing to do that with unvaccinated kids, or just want to stay home the weekend before a holiday.
anon says
I would send my regrets and offer to celebrate another time, preferably outside and before the party with lots of people in a crowded indoor space. You have no obligation to attend such a poorly thought out event.
It’s a kindness to the parents of your child’s classmates not to attend (because even if your kid just picks up a cold, that’s going to be an annoying round of staying home and testing for all the children with whom your child shares the cold).
Anon says
I think I’m more cautious than many here, but I don’t take my child to anything indoors unless everyone is masked. In the spring and early summer we felt pretty confident being indoors unmasked around adults we knew were vaccinated (and their kids) but given the increased rate of breakthrough infections and surging Covid cases in our community, that’s no longer the case.
anon says
Hm, I may be in the minority here, but depending on the event I may go. Granted, if my criteria were not taking my kids anywhere indoors with unvaccinated people, I would be estranged from half of our family, miss Christmas, etc etc. I say this not to criticize your judgment, but rather to caution you to approach your close friend carefully and make sure you convey how proud/happy you are for her. She might be thinking that she’s having this at her house not a restaurant, she’s got her kid there too, we’re almost 2 years into covid, you and little one can come masked, etc. etc. Again, I get it and would be hesitant too, but you risk a friendship if you don’t at least consider her POV or act like she shouldn’t be mad at all. Signed, my in-laws will never get vaccinated so I’m biased here.
Anonymous says
If her friend is being this unreasonable, the friendship doesn’t seem like much of a loss.
Anonymous says
Wait, you take your unvaccinated kids to visit your unvaccinated in-laws? And then you send them to school or day care or play dates or whatever? You are part of the problem.
TheElms says
Agreed. I have declined indoor visits with my unvaccinated family members and declined to allow my father to visit us when he has visited them within a week of coming to us. (He can see them, but he has to wait a week and get a PCR test before coming to us). I’m fine with seeing unvaccinated family outside where everyone is in a mask and no one eats/drinks. And you know what it sucks, but its what I have to do to protect my unvaccinated kid and me while I’m pregnant.
Anon says
Yeah, this is shocking to me. We made all our friends and family get TDaP and flu shots before meeting our baby, which is extremely common in our circle of friends. I don’t see why Covid would be any different. It’s even more important, because Covid is a far bigger risk to the grandparents than those other viruses and a far bigger burden on kids and working parents when they have to quarantine. If I had close family who wouldn’t get vaccinated and I wanted to maintain a relationship with those family members (but also honest question, why? Is it really worth it to keep people like that in your life?) I would see them outdoors with masks on. Indoors and maskless is a recipe for your kid being patient zero in a daycare or school outbreak.
Anonymous says
” If I had close family who wouldn’t get vaccinated and I wanted to maintain a relationship with those family members (but also honest question, why? Is it really worth it to keep people like that in your life?) I would see them outdoors with masks on. ”
Ouch. It is possible to both love someone and disagree with particular choices they make. Even if those choices might belie a mindset that diverges significantly from yours. I cancelled a trip to visit unvaccinated/anti-vax family members during major summer surge in their area, but those people are still “in my life.” For me, family ties run a little deeper than current events. My local friends is mostly people whose views align with mine, but I didn’t choose my blood relatives and I’m not going to cut them out because they live outside of blue bubbles and are immersed in different norms. I can’t talk about politics with my dad, but he’s still my dad and we had 30-odd years of history pre-covid that doesn’t go away because he thinks covid is a liberal plot.
Anon says
This isn’t about “current events” though. I certainly have friends and family members that I don’t see eye to eye on about everything. But anti-vaxxers have blood on their hands and I genuinely don’t think I could maintain a relationship with someone who refused to get vaccinated and willfully contributed to the deaths of other people. I don’t buy the argument that anti-vaxxers are only hurting other anti-vaxxers. Until recently all children under 12 were unable to be vaccinated and there are also plenty of immunocompromised people for whom the vaccine did not work well, so the anti-vaxxers’ choices are directly impacting innocent people.
I actually feel like people here are often too flippant about cutting off family. I have estranged family and I know how painful it is, and it’s not something I would do lightly at all. I really, truly don’t feel like I have that many dealbreakers that would result in the end of an otherwise good relationship but this is one of them. If you want to make a different choice, that’s your prerogative, but I don’t think it’s at all unusual to end relationships over something like this. I know quite a few people who cut off Trump-voting family members and in my view voting for Trump is far less awful than refusing the vaccine.
Anonymous says
It’s easy to say you’d forever shun anyone unvaccinated when it isn’t your beloved relatives.
anon says
This thread is really surprising me. In real life, I’m one of the most cautious people I know re covid, but on this board I’m on the spring-break-maskless-parties level ;)
Yes, my DH and I see his dad and stepmom, and allow them to see their grandkids. We don’t see them a lot, but a few times a year. Yes, they will not be vaccinated unless it is mandatory for them to do so. Yes, we have very different political beliefs, but also yes to the question of whether MY HUSBAND’S FATHER is “worth” having in our lives. While I appreciate the idea of only seeing them outside without eating and with masks, for many reasons (including weather) that’s not feasible — and we did that for a long time — basically until vaccines were widely available. It’s easy to judge others, but please ask yourselves if you would really truly refuse to see your own dad for Christmas or allow him to meet his grandkid, because he sincerely thinks vaccines are bad (again, I disagree). I’d basically be asking my husband to disown/be disowned by his dad, as this would not be taken lightly. This is not just one person in my family either, it’s a lot of DH’s family (that I’ve known since I was 16, so they’re my family too), and a LOT of people in my more conservative hometown. Honestly, this judgment, intolerance, and rigidity makes me understand conservatives much more than I used to. I think a lot of folks in liberal areas of the country forget that the vaccine refusers/hesitant and Trump voters are not just some 1% of the population or something. It’s a lot.
I’m being honest here, so please, remember I am a human behind the screen. TY for listening to my Ted Talk.
Anon says
Trump voter is in no way synonymous with anti-vaccine though. Roughly half the country supports Trump but >80% of adults are vaccinated and >95% of older adults are. You can do what you want, but I would seriously consider whether someone who won’t get a vaccine is with maintaining a relationship with even if they were my close biological family. Grandparents don’t have the right to endanger my kids lives. That goes way beyond “political differences” and to pretend this is about the woke left not having empathy for the other half the country is really disingenuous. I live in a very red state too, fwiw.
Anonymous says
An adult who chooses not to get vaccinated without a legitimate medical reason is killing people, or at least attempting to, and attempted murder is a damn good reason for estranging yourself from a family member. And letting these people around your unvaccinated children to potentially kill or disable your children is tantamount to child abuse.
Anonymous says
Agreed. I’m as furious as the next person that such a big segment of the population is refusing vaccine and what that’s meant for my life the last couple years, but at an individual level, compassion is important. I’ll roll my eyes at the science denial in private, but to me — many people have been brainwashed, radicalized, however you want to think about it. They’re almost a victim of their circumstances. Just like someone can’t think happy thoughts their way out of depression, it’s hard to swim against a tide when literally there is a massive mis/disinformation ecosystem and a lot of ancillary reinforcement from irresponsible political opportunists that people are caught up in. Icing them out is not helping anything.
Anonymous says
It’s all about your priorities. Your priority is clearly pleasing your antivaxx relatives. Mine is protecting my family against a potentially disabling or fatal disease. We have relatives with what we consider to be reckless risk preferences, and we just say no to those activities. If they get their feelings hurt, it’s their problem. It doesn’t mean we’re cutting them out of our lives.
anonagain says
anon at 2:27pm here again, hi!
SO, we demand that others respect our risk preferences, without getting “mad,” but when I say my risk tolerance is different when it comes to immediate family and I’m told my family is attempted MURDERS, I’m committing child abuse, and that my priority is “pleasing” my in-laws over protecting my kids. Just unreal. The ultimate mom-shaming here, for making different LEGAL choices. Just, wow.
Anonymous says
It’s not mom-shaming to say that anti-vaxxers are collectively responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of other human beings, and some of them have directly caused someone else’s death. I’m sorry you don’t like hearing the truth.
Anonymous says
The reactions to this totally normal post by someone still seeing her own family are so nasty and rude. This is why this board is such a bubble.
Anonymous says
sheesh, 2:47. Let’s just remember that many people do not believe that covid is a clear and present danger to their child’s life, even before you reduce the risk by accounting for the likelihood that the unvaccinated person currently has covid. And statistically, they’re correct. There are millions of kids have gotten covid and fully recovered. Do you also think that letting kids ride in a car is tantamount to child abuse? because car crashes kill or permanently injure way more kids than covid does. Risk perception is not a rational thing.
Anon says
Covid is currently the #6 or #7 leading cause of death in children, depending on which age group you’re talking about. It is statistically a very real threat to their lives. The total number of deaths is low but that’s because kids aren’t supposed to die! Even a tiny number of children dying can represent a large risk relative to other risks. We can’t eliminate ALL risk, but we can and should take steps to mitigate it. Not letting your kids maskless indoors around adults you know to be unvaccinated is the equivalent of using a car seat to prevent car accidents or a pool gate to prevent drowning deaths. It’s not the equivalent of never driving or never swimming.
Anonymous says
I wasn’t arguing against staying home from the party, I also might make that choice and it’s certainly reasonable. My point was that on a scale of one to child abuse, *to me,* spending time with unvaccinated (and presumably asymptomatic, no known recent exposure) close family members is much, MUCH closer to a one. I was responding to someone who called unvaccinated people attempted murderers and compared parents who allow their children to interact with unvaccinated grandparents child abusers.
anonymous says
“About 30 percent of the adult population in the United States has yet to receive a shot” per the NYT in an October 2021 article. So, nearly a THIRD of our population are child-abusing murders? Seriously?
Anon says
That’s incorrect. 81.6 of adults in the US have at least one dose currently. https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#vaccinations_vacc-total-admin-rate-total
It was around 79-80% during October. Maybe the stat you are quoting is about the total population? 68% of the population has one dose, but some kids still aren’t eligible and many more weren’t eligible until very recently.
Anon says
81.6% of course
Anonymous says
Actually yes. Which is terrifying.
anon says
Ok, so 18.4% of the adult population is unvaccinated — still a large group. (And, thanks for the fact check but even if it’s outdated, does that mean some people are now attempted murders but LESS bad because they had to be vaccinated to keep their jobs and now it’s ok to not disown them?)
Anonymous says
It’s fine to think she shouldn’t be mad. Sad, sure. But people miss social events all the time for all kinds of reasons and anger is not an appropriate reaction for a friend missing your social event.
Anon says
I don’t think it’s reasonable for her friend to be “Mad”. Disappointed or sad, sure. But you don’t get to be mad at a friend because they have a different risk tolerance than you, particularly when their risk assessment is far closer to what’s recommended by public health experts than yours. 25-30 people in a small indoor apartment with no masks and unknown vaccine status is objectively a high risk event.
Anon says
So we’re still not doing anything social until our kiddo is vaccinated, and I can give a f— about what other people think about that decision. I wouldn’t go and would offer to do something with her separately at another time.
Long Drive says
Any tips for a long drive with an 8mo? Going to see my parents 6 hours away for the weekend. The plan is currently to leave at 7pm (woof) so that she can sleep in the car, but I’m open to suggestion if there’s a better way.
Spirograph says
Just a note if your 8mo is in a rear-facing car seat, make sure you have a way to block the headlights of cars behind you from shining in her eyes, or there may not be as much sleeping as you’d like.
Otherwise cross your fingers and be prepared to have one adult sit in the back seat to soothe if needed. I found travel very hit or miss at that age. Sometimes they’d sleep like champs, sometimes we’d have hours of crying.
Long Drive says
Oh I would not have thought of this, thank you!!
Anon says
Also be careful stopping for gas. We stopped while DS was sleeping, and the lights at the gas station woke him up. It was awful.
Anon says
Do you know your kid sleeps in the car ? Mine didn’t at that age, so leaving at that time would have been awful because we would have just stacked sleep deprivation on top of the usual car crankiness.
Long Drive says
We’ve never done a drive this long so I have no idea if she’ll sleep or not. She regularly naps in the car so we’re just hoping for the best. Woof.
Anon says
If she’s only 8 months I’m assuming she’s still napping twice a day? I’d probably try to leave a little bit before her first nap and hope you can do one or both naps in the car. If she sleeps, great, she’s out for half the drive, but it won’t leave you with a kid who’s a hysterical mess if she ends up not sleeping at all. Keeping a kid that age up til 1 or 2 am can be truly horrible (I’ve done it a couple times on flights to Europe). and I would avoid it unless you absolutely have no choice.
AnonATL says
We regularly drive 5-6 hours with our kid. DH and I take turns sitting in the back with him. Lots of snacks. Some noisy toys. Taking a 30 minute break halfway through really helps. Not even stopping at a park to play, but parking at a gas station and taking him out of the car seat.
Hopefully your kid will sleep! Ours rarely does for more than an hour even during late night or early morning driving.
TheElms says
My kid didn’t really sleep in the car at that age (still doesn’t). So unless you know your kid will sleep I would plan to drive during the day, if possible. I did a 9.5/10 hour drive at 10 months, so kiddo was definitely crawling (almost walking) and not happy about being in the car seat. With stops the drive took 12 /12.5 hours. We stopped 3 times I think. I brought a bunch of small toys before the trip (a baby fidgit cube, some pop tubes that made a funny noise, some finger puppets, a couple new small stuffed animals, some stickers and post it notes, an electronic talking book that when you touched a picture it said a work or made an animal sound) and a favorite stuffed animal. And we brought all the snacks. Like 4-5 times as many snacks as seemed necessary and all were eaten (puffs, cheerios, pouches, cut up pieces of fruit (cut really small because I was worried about choking). Either I or my husband sat in the back and we just cycled through the toys and snacks. We also looked at pictures of family and kiddo on our phones and played lots of music to sing along too (parents, not kiddo). At the stops we tried to eat on a blanket outside and allow time for crawling or walking holding onto a parent. It wasn’t what I’d describe as fun but it was doable.
Anon says
I think that’s the ideal way to do it.
Anon says
Unless the driver prefers so drive so late at night, I agree with leaving earlier, timed to a nap, if possible. It’s so nice to arrive somewhere, relax a bit and then do bedtime as normal (maybe a little earlier or later based on how they car napped) instead of stumbling in bleary-eyed with a baby that’s now wide awake and wanting to play.
l’ve done plenty of long-ish drives with my three kids and sometimes it’s awful, but you get through it and it’s not such a big deal in retrospect. Plan to stop every 1.5-2 hours for baby to snack and get a little wiggle time. Our current baby also much prefers to be next to the window instead of in the middle. Leave a space to sit back there to entertain/comfort for part of the trip, as needed.
Anonymous says
I forgot how to be a normal human. Woke up this morning with a terrible cold (congested, sinus pain etc, negative rapid covid test). First trimester, so can’t take meds. Taking a remote deposition tomorrow, need to prep today. “Social” plans today and tomorrow related to my former boss’s memorial. I have considered pulling down the depo, but think I might be okay to just skip the social stuff (although I am very said about it) and plow on with the depo. But I want to lay in bed and cry or rest. Help?
Anonymous says
Skip the “social” plans for sure. Whether or not you feel up to it, you should not be exposing other people.
For a cold, I probably wouldn’t move the remote depo unless I had a fever.
AIMS says
Being sick when you’re pregnant is the worst! I’m sorry.
Can you take Tylenol? I know it’s not much but my doctor okayed it when I was pregnant and it did help. For the sinus pain, my mother told me to hard boil an egg, put it in a thing cloth and roll over my nose/sinuses. Lots of lemon tea with honey. I won’t pretend it’s a miracle cure but it helped. Turn up the humidifier if you have one.
ElisaR says
i’m intrigued by this egg suggestion, I never heard that one!
Anonymous says
Cancel your deposition. Do not go to anything social because you are sick. Stay home. Rest.
anne-on says
I would try to get a neti pot (and just buy the jug of distilled water for ease of use) and use it ASAP today. I HATE the feeling of drowning I inevitably have with a neti pot but I suck it up for bad colds because it helps so, so much. That, plus lots of herbal tea (ginger lemon is my favorite for colds) and a humidifier.
ElisaR says
love the neti pot and tea. honestly those 2 things help me more than most meds anyway. good luck and try to go to bed early!
EDAnon says
+1
A says
How have you celebrated pandemic birthdays? Mine is coming up. I live in Michigan, where the weather will almost certainly be awful the day of and our Covid cases are out of control (so no going out to eat). All of my ideas are food-centered, which is great, but I’m curious to hear what others have done to celebrate their birthdays this second pandemic year.
Anonymous says
Dinner and a Broadway show. I’m vaccinated.
Anonymous says
Celebrate my own birthday? Hahahahahaha. Mine was last week and I got to babysit my nephew while his parents took his sister to the ER, then take my own husband to the ER. A good time was had by all.
If you are luckier than I, fancy takeout, cake, bubbly.
AIMS says
Go ice skating? Zoo? Delicious take out at home for dinner?
Anon says
My birthday’s in early May, so I had one true lockdown birthday and one birthday in that sweet spot post-vaccination, pre-Delta. For the lockdown birthday (which was unfortunately a milestone year so we’d planned a really amazing trip we had to cancel) we ordered a lot of fancy food, but it was honestly a huge bummer. I know adults aren’t supposed to care about their birthdays, but it was so weird to not be able to go out to eat or see friends or travel or do anything. I definitely cried at least a couple times that day. So all that is to say, I don’t have any brilliant ideas but I give you permission to wallow about it and be sad. Pandemic birthdays suck.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Same. We were supposed to go to an outdoor restaurant during my first pandemic birthday (June) and then it rained and I cried because we usually take a couples trip around that time and I really look forward to it every year. This year, we were able to get away as we were in that sweet spot as you say, and I’m so grateful.
For OP: Order lots of takeout food and buy that fancy champagne if you’re into that. Have your husband do all the chores and childcare for that day (or that full Saturday/Sunday if birthday is on a weekday). That itself almost feels like a vacation.
Boston Legal Eagle says
*Husband or partner or someone else you trust. Sorry to presume.
Anon Lawyer says
My birthday is in late March so at the beginning of lockdown when nothing was really that clear. The only restaurant we could find open with takeout that worked was a really garden variety Thai restaurant and that was after several things didn’t work out at all. I cried and wallowed too and I agree – it just sucks.
Anonymous says
For my last birthday, my husband ordered a cake. When he arrived to pick it up, the bakery was closed due to a COVID exposure. None of the grocery stores had any cakes left. So I didn’t even get cake.
The pandemic sucks.
Anon says
That’s awful. Hope you were able to reschedule the birthday and get cake some other day.
Anonymous says
I got take out from a place that was pricier than what we get for ordinary takeout and then had cake. But I’m generally not a big birthday person.
Mnp says
Take the day off work! It’s a present you can give yourself, and then you can either do lots of things out and about that you never get time to enjoy (I love going to the global foods grocery and exploring which is sort of an errand but fun) or just laying around reading and giving yourself a pedicure.
Anon says
We’ve been doing elaborate cakes from a local baker, and/ or having spouse put something ridiculous in the yard. My super-into-reading friend got herself a Harry Potter cake that had the tiers as books from the series. Another friend got a sailboat shaped cake with little fondant people of him and his family. Another friend with a milestone January birthday had an ice sculpture made in the front yard, and another with a summer birthday had a tent-like arch made out of balloons in the front yard that she could sit under while friends came over to sit 6 feet away.
FP says
I’m coming up on my second pandemic birthday as well. I’m vaccinated + boosted and am ok with some risk, so here’s what I have planned: taking the day off of work, going to get a massage at a place that will have the therapist plus me still wear masks; going out to lunch with two friends (hopefully outside if the weather cooperates but am OK with being inside); then getting a (masked) blowout at Drybar, and then having fancy wine and a cheese plate for dinner with my husband. If you are ok being indoors in places with masks, Nordstrom and JCrew do private shopping appointments outside of store hours if you are into shopping for yourself for your birthday.
TheElms says
My birthday is in January so same problem. Last year there weren’t really any good options so we got fancier than normal takeout and my husband watched our toddler in the afternoon so I could take a long nap. This year I’ll be about 34 weeks pregnant and I’ll be vaccinated and boosted by then so I’m thinking about going to get a manicure/pedicure if there is still a mask mandate at that point (otherwise no). Otherwise I sort of hope it snows. I probably can’t go sledding myself but I could take my toddler and I think this year she’d be old enough to really enjoy it.
I’ve also heard there are private chefs that will come cook a meal in your house, so I might look into that. I’d be ok with a vaccinated, masked private chef coming to cook DH/me a meal (toddler would be asleep on a different floor) and then leaving so we could eat. Otherwise fancy takeout it is!
FVNC says
Help me figure out NOVA schools?
My family may be moving to the Alexandria/Arlington/Vienna area for my husband’s job next summer. After a great experience with my daughter’s current private school, which we enrolled her in in fall 2020 because it was in-person, my (entirely public school educated) husband wants to keep our kids in private school when we move. We’ll have two in elementary school by next fall. I think this is nuts (the cost for two!!), especially when we’re moving to an area with some of the best public schools in the country.
So, my question is: Is my positive perception of NOVA schools correct? Can anyone point me to resources that might help us? I know about Niche of course, but any other online communities with information? Alternatively, does anyone have a private school they love?
Thanks, all. I’m finding the logistics of moving to a large metro area with so many options intimidating!
Anon says
I’m not in VA but from reading here it sounds like their public schools were closed most of last year. If you care about maximizing in-person instruction time I’d absolutely go private. It is also easier for private schools to mandate vaccines, which means a safer environment for your kids and less learning disruption. And I say that as a proud product of public schools who NEVER could have envisioned sending my kids to private school before the pandemic (my kids go to public but only because there are no private schools here that aren’t religious and that’s a no-go for us).
Anonymous says
VA public schools will all be open without mask mandates no matter what happens. The General Assembly passed a law last summer mandating in-person instruction, and the governor-elect campaigned on getting rid of masks in schools.
Anon says
Ah that’s right I forgot about the election stuff. But that’s all the more reason to go private IMO.
Anon says
Also even if you have zero concerns about your kids getting the virus, private schools have smaller class sizes, which will lead to fewer quarantines.
NYCer says
A close friend of mine went to The Potomac School in McLean and has good things to say about her experience (granted she is mid-30s now, so she went there…a long time ago!). Her brother who also went there still lives in the area and sends his kids there now.
ElisaR says
that’s a great school. not cheap, but great.
FVNC says
Thanks for the comments so far. The price tag for the Potomac School is in-line with what I’d been fearing.
NOVA Anon says
If you are looking for a great private school with a (slightly) lower price tag than Potomac School and other similar schools, we have our kids at Grace Episcopal School in Alexandria. It only goes to Grade 5, so that’s a downside, but my kids have been there since PS and have been really happy there.
Anonymous says
I think it depends on the school. You can’t just blanket that the entire county is good, because it’s not true. I’m in Montgomery county MD and our schools vary wildly based on income level, and my impression is NOVA is the same. Kids who go to the public school in McLean are going to have a better school than those in Annandale. It just is what it is. Of course it would be great if every child got the same education, but we know that isn’t happening. Ive heard not great things about Arlington public schools but good things about Vienna. As a note, it may not look far on a map but Vienna is a pretty good drive from Alexandria, worse with traffic. You really need to nail down where you want to live based on commute and schools. Most schools are doing tours now, applications start in January.
FVNC says
Thanks, this is helpful. Living in Vienna would make for a very do-able commute for H but know nothing about the town or its schools.
I’ve also heard that schools vary in quality but I’m not sure how to assess “bad” versus “bad on paper but actually a good school”. My daughter went to K in a “bad” school and we’re looking not to repeat that experience, but struggling to figure out how to avoid. Good friends, who are child free, live in a fantastic neighborhood in Alexandria with awful public schools. Houses/townhouses in the area are $800k – millions. So income/housing prices don’t seem to map to “good” schools.
Anonymous says
We lived in Fairfax city but very close to Vienna before moving to MoCo. DD’s in home daycare was near downtown Vienna. We really liked the town and living in Fairfax county in general. There’s a fair amount of restaurant and small store shops. You’re very close to major shopping at Tysons corner and then big box stores in the suburbs in Fairfax. If you can afford it, I would choose Vienna.
Anonymous says
We live in Arlington and the public schools are fantastic. People choose to spend a ton of money to live here, for the school system, for a reason. My teacher friends who have taught in both APS and neighboring districts back this up. While I do think the schools were closed too long in 2020, I don’t foresee any more COVID issues – they won’t close again. (And pretty soon all the kids will be vaccinated! Another plus to living here. I don’t know a single person who didn’t immediately get their 5-11 kids their first dose asap.) To me, covid stuff would be a non-consideration at this point for choosing schools in this area.
govtattymom says
Congrats on your upcoming move! We lived in Old Town Alexandria for 7 years but recently relocated to a smaller city. When we lived in Alexandria, nearly all of our neighbors, friends, etc. sent their kids to private school. The public schools in Alexandria are very poorly ranked. There is a wide range of options for private school from very affordable religious schools to extremely expensive secular schools. I am most familiar with St. Ritas, St. Marys, and Browne Academy (all good schools and very different from each other). Good luck with the move! Alexandria is a lovely place.
anon says
If you want private schools, you should move to Alexandria. Houses are cheaper there because the public schools aren’t as good, but the housing stock is still really nice. If you’re committed to private, it’s the go to place.
Arlington has better school rankings than Alexandria, but very limited access to private schools. There is very limited availability. I have friends who are driving their kids an hour each way to get to a private school with an opening. Arlington schools really, really struggled with the pandemic–they were a hot mess to say the least. This year has been better, but things are still super inconsistent. Every principal gets to do as they please, so making up for learning loss and dealing with COVID risk and retaining staff/teachers is very, very inconsistent. You’d have to talk to parents from specific schools to understand how a particular school community is doing right now.
Fairfax is a GIANT school system, but you can’t paint it with one brush. You should carefully consider how you feel about AAP (Advanced Academic Program, their separate gifted program) with respect to your kids and their ages before choosing to use Fairfax public schools.
So Anon says
I know this is late in the day, but I can weigh in here: My mom was in the army and I went to 6 different school districts throughout the US and internationally. I spent 2 years and graduated from a large high school in the FCPS system right outside of Alexandria. The school itself was enormous – my high school graduating class was 500+ people. The upsides to the school district: Amazing opportunities – if you have an interest in anything, there was a club for it. The breadth of AP classes was fantastic. And outside of a few other locales, there is no comparison to taking AP class ___, and then going and visiting a “local” museum to see that class/concept in action. I took AP Art History my senior year of high school, and we routinely went to the National Gallery to see pieces in person. Same with AP US government, AP physics, etc. The caliber of education I received was truly amazing; the teachers were paid well (for teaching) and a masters’ degree in the subject was expected. In addition, my public school classmates were the most diverse group of people I have ever been with. I learned just as much from my classmates as I did in the classes themselves. Every ethnicity, SES, religion, etc. was represented, and I am truly grateful for that. The downsides: The school was huge, and it would be very easy to get lost in the shuffle. My school was viewed as one of the “rougher” high schools in the district, but I never felt unsafe. My recollection was that there was almost a “school within the school” where those of us who took mostly APs tended to be grouped together, and there was safety in those numbers. There was both wild wealth in the school and poverty, frequently existing side-by-side. However, the wealth at my school paled in comparison to the private schools in the area, and I am glad that I went to the school that I did. As they say on my favorite podcast, the good news and the bad news is the same news. Also – the way FCPS are districted (or were years ago) was alot like gerrymandering – you may not go to the school closest to your house.
NOVA info says
I was in the same position as you last year. Check out dcum which is like this board but centered on the DMV (including schools) and amped up. Lots of helpful info and posters; just ignore the trolls.
Anon says
What are your kids like after a long day of daycare? 11 month old is in daycare everyday for 8-9 hrs. He loves daycare and is always happy when I drop him off and pick him up but he basically clings onto me from pick up until bed time. I am guessing he is just stressed out from a long day and needs to unwind?
Anon says
I think that’s very normal. My 3.5 year old has a relatively short daycare day (usually <8 hours) but is frequently a mess in the evenings. She never naps at school, so even with a very early bedtime it's often just meltdown after meltdown from the time she walks in the door until we finally get her in bed about an hour and a half later.
ElisaR says
yes, my kids still needed the “skin to skin” w/ mama at that age…. i would just try to hold them as much as i could. daycare was great for them, but they just needed me still….. it was frustrating but a short time in the grand scheme of things
Nina says
That just sounds like he is tired and stressed out. Adults can be wiped out after work, kids also get wiped out by daycare or certainly school.
JadedSnail says
We absolutely had that for each of our kids. I tried to push all the housework tasks to either before I picked them up or after they were asleep during that period and just sat and cuddled or read with them. It only lasted for a few weeks/a month at its worst and then they would need shorter and shorter cuddle periods before being happy to go and play. It is a tough time, but I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
Anon says
We are TTC for our second and I want to have DH read some books this time around focusing on more the parenting side of growing a family than the pregnancy side. He has an engineering mindset and is VERY picky about books. It needs to be to the point and avoid lengthy personal anecdotes. Basically like a college textbook. It doesn’t need to be specifically geared towards men/ fathers. Any recommendations?
anonamama says
This is adjacent to the family question, but what about the Fair Play book/cards by Eve Rodsky? It would be really interesting to get his take on it and if you think its a fit for your family, lead the charge on implementing it. I have only read a few chapters, but I have heard a lot of positive things about it.
Anonymous says
Nurtureshock. It’s pop science, but interesting and short on touchy-feely stuff.
Anon says
This looks promising! Thank you!
Anon says
Is there a particular reason you want him to read a book? I ask because I don’t know too many people who read any parenting books the second time around. You already know all the basics of taking care of a baby and toddler. If there’s an issue that’s popped up that you’re proactively hoping to head off (like unfair division of labor) than I would focus on a book about that rather than a generic parenting book.
Anon says
Fair question – our oldest is 6, so we’ve willfully forgotten quite a bit of the worst of those first couple of years. I feel like I can refresh quickly as needed just by talking to a friend (or reading here) but DH is very bad at translating others’ experience into his own life. He’s much better at understanding why something is happening and reacting from that direction. I actually (after a rough initial time after the oldest’s birth) am not having issues with division of labor! To reply to the first comment, I’ve read and incorporated a lot of advice from Fair Play but it’s definitely not something he will be able to get through or even remotely relate to. The best educational materials for him have been articles I’ve pulled from PubMed but I can’t spend my time referencing everything – I’m hoping to find a book that’s done this already.
Anonymous says
I think Emily Oster would appeal to him. She has three books on pregnancy, parenting young kids, and then parenting older children. I haven’t read the one on older children yet, but it comes with worksheets to fill out to go through decision making frameworks that is very engineering minded.
Anon says
Thank you! These look good! I can see these are popular but somehow I’ve missed these.