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We had an older version of this colorful Stroll and Discover Activity Walker, and it was by far my daughter’s favorite toy when she was beginning to walk. We would spend countless hours strolling up and down the hallway and chatting on the pretend phone.
For babies who aren’t up to walking yet, the activity panel detaches for floor play. For new walkers, the wheels include speed control to slow things down. It also features over 100 songs and sounds, light-up piano keys, spinning gears, shape sorters, buttons, sliders, and, for parents, foldable legs for easy storage.
This toy definitely captured my daughter’s very limited toddler attention span!
The walker is $35.49 at Target.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Columbus recs says
Any recommendations for food delivery for a friend who just had a baby in Columbus, OH? Particularly good or beloved local places? TIA!
Anon says
Brasa
Anon says
Tips on moving on?
I’ve been in a job 5.5 years. The problems when I started are still the problems now, and they won’t be fixed. No development opportunities, no personal growth, no management improvement, and a bad, if not toxic, culture. The real problem? I’m paid very well, have flexibility, a killer (10%!) 401(k) contribution, and 3 small kids.
How do I walk away? Any similarly paying job would be a decrease in salary and/or an increase in travel. I am just so tired of this company.
Anon says
At this point in my life I would greatly value the flexibility with three small children — it is hard to price out a lifestyle perk like that. If I was being paid as well as I think you’re telling me you are and I get that 10% 401(k) contrib, I’m staying until it is unbearable. I would leave only if I found a job that had the pay and flexibility of my current one with better opportunities for advancement (and know that advancement probably would mean less flexibility with the greater responsibility).
Boston Legal Eagle says
So the biggest issues that stand out to me in your post are the toxic culture and no management improvement (meaning, a bad boss?) The flexibility is one thing, but a toxic culture can be crushing if it’s coming from your direct boss. Are you able to switch around positions in the company? If not, I’d probably start looking around at other job postings. It is really really hard to leave the known and start somewhere new, especially with a lot of family responsibilities, but I think a fresh new culture, if you can find it, will revitalize you. I personally wouldn’t do a job with heavy travel demands at this time in my life and would take a pay cut over that, but YMMV. And you may not need to take a pay cut! I don’t know what industry you’re in, but lots of companies are desperate for workers now.
AwayEmily says
+1. I think it is very much worth aggressively looking. Flexibility is awesome but I think you could well be able to find that at other jobs, too. A toxic workplace just eats away at your soul. Basically, at this point you need more information — you need to know what’s actually out there. And maybe you look for six months and get a couple of offers and realize there’s nothing that would be a better fit at this point, but then at least you know for sure and it’s a conscious, informed decision to stay. Or maybe you find something amazing that makes you much happier!
Anon says
I’m looking right now and have gotten a couple offers/in the interview process with other companies. Companies are being much more flexible right now in terms of salary, benefits, and flexibility. The employee absolutely has the upper hand right now so it might be worth seeing what’s out there.
Anonymous says
I would not make a move. Instead, I’d lean way out and enjoy the flexibility while casually looking. Out feelers out- you never know.
Signed,
I was at a company and managed to only work 4 days/week while being promoted twice. My performance metrics were continually excellent. I just used my credibility to cut through the BS meetings and busy work and corporate nonsense. It’s not that I stopped caring, I just stopped having time for the cr@p.
Anon says
Honestly, this is what I’m doing at my job now. Leaning in has gotten me nowhere.
Anonymous says
Hi Anon. do you work down the hall from me?
My “golden handcuffs” is the LTIP granted at the absolute bottom of the market in early COVID. Based on current valuation there is a HEFTY payout in spring 2023.
I feel your struggle. I am looking. BUT it is hard to be fully committed to the search. Currently, I refuse to consider lower offers unless there is a SIGNIFICANT bump in title etc.
I jokingly suggested to my hubby that we should reopen our family planning just so I could go on a 12 month mat leave starting in 2022.
anon says
I think there’s a difference between no opportunities and toxic culture. No opportunities – I would ride it out. Toxic culture – I would look. My husband left his job under similar circumstances, and while we miss the flexibility and the compensation, the peace of mind is so much better. Because he was sucking MY soul dry with the toxic culture, not to mention his.
No Face says
Don’t assume that the benefits you’re getting out of this job are only at this job! Start looking and interviewing now. Compare any offer with your current job.
I left my last firm under duress because of the pandemic. Before that, I loved my job! But family’s safety came first. I would up at a firm with a better reputation, better benefits, a higher salary, and a lower billable hour requirement.
Apply, interview, then decide!
Anon says
My daycare temporarily shutdown because of a covid outbreak, and I’m anxiously awaiting test results for my baby and toddler. I used most of my PTO on my maternity leave earlier this year (my company does not offer paid maternity leave) and only have a few days left of PTO at this point, and HR just told me they offer no extra leave if you or your kids have covid. My husband earns more than I do and he takes a big financial hit for taking days off, so I will probably have to be the one to handle the kids most days. I feel so behind at work already and am just tired of trying to do the impossible.
anon says
Hugs. I am so sorry you’ve been forced into this situation. Would FMLA be an option? Or can your manager offer you a bit of flexibility without going through official channels?
Anonymous says
No extra paid leave? Or no extra unpaid leave? Because you probably can take unpaid leave and unfortunately will need to.
Anonymous says
Just a thought if what is really bothering you is the unknown status of the kids. Get the $20 box of rapid tests from CVS and swab them both. There are 2 tests per box.
It is not a PCR test, but they are pretty good. This has been our approach (rapid test the minute we find out about a close contact. Book and get a PCR test in parallel). PCR testing *used* to be same day availability with 2 days with another 2-3 days for results. The rapid tests have done wonders to ease anxiety.
FWIW, our MA school district is using the rapid tests to screen close contacts under a test and stay program. There is a lot of good data on the reliability for asymptomatic individuals.
We’ve also used them for random situations just to ease our nerves. My mom had what was almost certainly a sinus infection develop overnight. We were supposed to see her and my dad for a Big Family Event that day. They both did the rapid test and both were negative. Mom stayed home, went and got a PCR test. Dad attended Big Family Event. three days later mom’s PCR came back negative as well.
Pogo says
Ugh. This is everything wrong with America’s family and sick leave policies.
Anonymous says
Our local pediatric urgent care does drive-through testing with something they call “rapid PCR,” which I guess means they have a PCR machine on site for same-day results? This is where we go for post-exposure testing because it gives accurate results much more quickly. That won’t help if day care is closed, but it might help reduce the length of future quarantines when day care is still open?
Fallen says
Could you get a temporary nanny or sitter until the daycare opens if your kids test negative after day 5?
Anoner says
Paging JL from yesterday who was in search of a JD optional job. Will make a plug for switching to an insurance adjuster role (financial lines) which I did 4 years ago from mid law litigation. True 9-5, interesting work, not a lot of money but corporate and sane environment. I also work with nice and smart people, all are recovering lawyers.
Anoon says
Related to yesterday’s post, how do you find a JD-adjacent job? I have been cruising indeed, but am not really sure what I am looking for.
TheElms says
I’m curious about this. Would you mind giving a short spiel on what you do or what a day is like?
Anoner says
Sure- in a typical day I assist insured’s with responding to first party events (trying to be a little vague here) by putting them in touch with vendors and to third party events by getting defense counsel involved. I keep file notes updated, write coverage letters, talk w my managers about reserving and potential coverage issues. Occasionally will attend a mediation. Also need to sometimes present to upper management on claims and financials. And pay bills.
Anonymous says
What about a business development role? Mostly ex bankers but someone that really understands contracts would be a huge asset to a group. Work life balance would be completely dependent on company culture.
Anon. says
There are lots of recovering attorneys in the Financial Lines side of insurance! Hello from the brokerage side of the house. My job is less legal, but I spend my day negotiating insurance programs – both the big picture dollars and nitty gritty language changes – and talking with c-suite clients about the litigation landscape for this risk. Again, not huge dollars but six figures and interesting smart people both as colleagues and as clients.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My almost-9-month old loves to scream to communicate. He’s not in pain, not crying, just doing it to get attention, usually with a smile on his face. It’s usually done when he’s around others, rarely when he’s solo in his room.
He’s LOUD (like his Mom). Anyone have any experience with this?
Paging Language Immersion Daycare says
From yesterday – we are in this situation because we are expats. My kid, now 4, started daycare in the majority language at 13mo, and while it was clearly her stronger language in the following year, she had no problem developing a strong and balanced bilingualism over the years. During that first year of daycare she built her vocabulary progressively in the majority language, so I could learn alongside her. She now has a rich vocabulary, and speaks fluently and more or less grammatically in both minority and majority languages, with some code switching. I’m confident that in 2 years she could in theory attend first grade in either language.
anon says
Thanks! Although we’ve decided against that daycare for other reasons, it’s good to know other parents have had positive experiences with a language immersion experience when they don’t speak the language.
Anonymous says
Shopping help? I’m ready for a new purse. I’ve been carrying the lulu festival bag in various colors for a decade now. What I’m looking for? I don’t really know. Not a tote: I keep trying those and they don’t work for me. Something around $100, that I could still drop into the skip hop diaper bag easily. I carry that when we’re all out together. Maybe I should just get a wallet on a string? TIA!
AwayEmily says
So, I have a cheap hip/fanny pack (Jansport) that I love. I don’t wear it as on my hips but rather as a crossbody and I love how light it is (it just fits my wallet, phone, keys, and a couple of masks). HOWEVER, when shopping for a new one I found an article on the Strategist about cool fanny packs and they also had a bunch of fancier ones that were pretty awesome. I noticed that Madewell/JCrew/etc has jumped on the hip pack wagon as well. Anyway, maybe not what you are looking for but something to consider.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 to the Jansport fanny pack. Mine is in a fun pattern, which makes me smile.
anon. says
I have the Patagonia fanny pack and throw it in every other bag I need. Second this idea!
ElisaR says
i have a shopping problem so i looked and just found one i personally like…. at nordstrom (or from madewell) it’s the madewell knotted woven leather crossbody bag. so cute!
Pogo says
I can’t believe they finally updated this toy to have a ‘modern’ phone! Part of the joy to me is how archaic the old phone seems. Also, no creaking barn door?! No learning farm song?!
anon says
I snagged a free one off of my local mom’s group and I love that it’s the old one! Baby LOVES the creaky peekaboo barn door and I try to show him how to use the old school phone. He just laughs whenever I put it to my ear.
“welcome to our learning farm. we have much to show you…”
Anon. says
Shapes and colors, music too. There’s so much to do!
I will never not be able to sing that tune.
ElisaR says
yes! that purple phone got so much play action in our house – it still does. i will never ever not remember that song either…..
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 5 year still runs back and forth with it…
anon says
I have and love this new version but the barn door keeps falling off and getting lost! It’s super annoying. but otherwise both my kids loved/love this toy.
anon says
Booster seat Qs. We have no children and are adopting a set of siblings who are very small for their ages – 11 yo, 55 lbs, 52″; 9 yo, 55 lbs, 49″; 6 yo, 42 lbs, 42″. The state law only says that children need a booster seat until age 8. I checked the NHSTA and it looks like the oldest one definitely doesn’t need a booster, the middle could if I wanted to, and the littlest one definitely does. Any thoughts or seat recommendations? Thanks! (If relevant, I have a 2020 Ford Explorer with captain’s chairs in the middle row.)
anon says
The recommendation is booster until 4’9”/57”. Lots of people don’t go that high, but it is totally common for kids to be in boosters until they hit the height limit. My youngest are 55” (8 and 10) and I have them in a booster at home, though not always for carpools.
As for boosters, I just have the Grace high back/low back with cup holders. Cup holders are very coveted.
Anonymous says
Yes, I just got this recommendation from my ped at a well-visit this morning: “until at least 8 years of age and 4 ft 9 inches.” The point of the booster is to ensure safe belt positioning. If your vehicle has adjustable height for the shoulder strap, you might be able to avoid a booster for the oldest, but if not I wouldn’t skip it based on age.
My kids are 5-8, 47-56 inches tall. We have them in the Graco backless boosters that are ~$25 at Target.
Congrats, OP!
Anonymous says
Congratulations! For oldest and middle, I’d have them sit in the actual car to verify that they can sit all the way back in the seat with their knees bent at the edge of the seat and the seat belt lying properly across the shoulder and torso. The proportions of the kid and the car can vary and make it difficult to rely on height alone. FWIW, my kid was still in an actual car seat with straps (“harness booster”) at the age/size of your youngest.
When purchasing boosters, verify that the booster does not block the child’s access to the seat belt buckle. We kept our daughter in the car seat straps until she was old enough for a backless booster because she could unbuckle the car seat straps herself, but could not reach the seat belt buckle in a high-back booster. She had to be able to unbuckle herself for school drop-off.
anon says
If it were me, I’d buy one for middle kiddo and play it by ear depending on how the kiddo’s proportions fit in the actual car, and also a little bit on your impressions of whether kiddo would take more comfort in being treated like a “baby” or like a “big kid,” if you know what I mean. Also keeping in mind that if you do use it, hopefully it will only be for a limited time while you find out if there’s going to be a huge growth spurt as part of addressing whatever developmental trauma the kids are carrying. Totally possible they will all be way taller in a year. And congrats!
FP says
If you want boosters for all of them, I have the same car as you and really like the Clek booster seats – they are high back boosters that go up to 100lbs. Best wishes to your family!!!
AnonFTM says
I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say congrats and how wonderful of you guys to adopt a set of siblings!!! Hearing this made me so happy.
Anonymous says
Thoughts: 1) depending on how the adoption has occurred, would it be possible to get a sense of what they do currently? Asking a 9 y/o that hasn’t been in a booster in two years to use one again may be an issue and if that’s what you want to push for, you should know what you are getting into :)
2) My just turned 8 year old doesn’t use a booster. However, she fits safely into the seats in our car and we have her ride in the middle seat when in our bench style car. She’s fine in the minivan.
What I tell kids, esp. my 8 year old’s 7/8 year old friends who are “too cool” for boosters is that if they can sit safely in the seat with the shoulder straps hitting correctly, they don’t need one. But I will not be having any decapitations in my car, thanks.
Anonymous says
I totally forgot to mention in my own response understanding what the kids are used to!
anon says
Congrats!
For boosters, you can find checklists for all the things a child needs to be able to do before a booster truly isn’t necessary safety-wise. I’d assume boosters are necessary until/unless you can confirm otherwise.
The 6 year old would definitely fit in the Chicco MyFit forward facing car seat for awhile. It turns into a high back booster for later on. For safety, it’s recommended to keep kids in car seats as long as possible. That said, if kiddo hasn’t used one for ages, it might not be a palatable change amid so many other changes.
Anonymous says
I hope the kids are ok. The 9 year old is the exact same size as my 6 year old who is in a high back booster, so age aside snd just going on size that’s a data point.
Anon says
I have an older Ford Explorer, and kids that are small for their age. My 6 year old who is right around 42 lbs/ 42″ is in a Graco no-back booster. My 8 year old who is 50 lbs and 48″ is also in a Graco no-back booster. They ride in the captain chairs in those boosters most of the time.
We occasionally carpool with another family that has kids the same age but bigger than ours. Their kids also ride in backless boosters, but in carpool the younger ones sit in our Gracos, and the older ones sit in MiFold portable boosters in the third row.
They report that the MiFold actually makes the third row MORE comfortable than without it, primarily because of where the headrests hit, so we’ll likely keep using those for the foreseeable future. You might want to check on comfort even for the 11yo if they’ll be sitting in the third row.
anonforthis says
WWYD? My second cousin is babysitting for us (1.5yo and 3.5 yo) next weekend from about 4pm-11pm (wedding). She’s a nanny, and has worked for daycares. She asked if her bf can come too. I get why she’d want him (kids will be asleep about 8:30, etc.) But I’m not sure what to do. My hesitations are really about being consistent with our “rules” around our kids. We don’t do any sleepovers at anyone’s house, except our family cottage where we have our own room. The only male babysitter we’ve allowed is an uncle. The bf is fine, I don’t know very well but he seems good around kids, is friendly, etc. He’s not the issue. Part of my concern is not wanting sitter distracted, but she’s an adult and I trust her not to let her bf interfere at all. Part of my concern is it’s easier to just say no bf/gfs while babysitting. We also don’t have sitters often so maybe I’m overthinking this. But, perhaps burying the lead here, I’ve had two sexual assaulters in my family; one aboused a child and one abused a sleeping woman. So, I’m incredibly sensitive about who is around my children and who is around when they/I are asleep. I also don’t know how to say no to my cousin if that is our decision – I don’t want it to sound like I don’t like him/trust him/it be personal at all. Thoughts? Would everyone else just tell her to bring bf here and I’m being over the top/need thereapy? DH is kind of leaving it up to me, but also doesn’t want to insult the bf/tell the cousin.
Anonymous says
Could you say no, you’re being extra cautious because of covid?
Anon says
Say no so you’re as comfortable as possible. You can blame it on not wanting your kids to be exposed to another person in terms of covid.
Anonymous says
“No that doesn’t work for us, thanks for checking.”
Anon says
This exactly. Do not use COVID as an excuse. Do not make excuses. Do not justify or defend. Just say it doesn’t work.
NYCer says
How close are you to this second cousin? Do you think of her like family? (I realize that a second cousin is family, but I personally do not know any of my second cousins, so do no think of them like family.) FWIW, if my cousin were babysitting my kids, I would absolutely let her bring her husband along. I know him, and he would be fun and helpful. I would not allow a babysitter who is more of a “stranger” (i.e., non-family member) to bring a significant other when babysitting my kids.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree – what is the relationship? Especially if you’re paying her, it’ll be a lot easier to say no as that’s what you would say to a third party babysitter.
Anonymous says
Agree. Especially if it is someone the kids have interacted with before at family gatherings or what have you. Would make the evening extra special to have 2 fun grown ups there.
If this is more of a professional business transaction would be a hard pass for me – it is not like you are away for the weekend. You are asking her to be “alone” for~ 3 hours.
Anonymous says
If it’s going to make you anxious, you should say no. I assume you’re paying her? You don’t have to explain yourself. If you’re feeling guilty about saying no you could always add some kind of date night-themed gift certificate to what you pay her, so that she and BF can go out together on you another time.
FVNC says
Nope, nope, no way. And I like Anonymous at 11:20’s response.
Context: husband has prosecuted child s-xual abuse and child p-rn cases so basically he thinks all men are garbage (joking, sort of); once a house sitter had her bf over, and we came home to certain stains on the couch. So.
Anonymous says
We tell all babysitters that we have cameras. This is only 30% true. We do have exterior security cameras and I plug in the old kids baby monitors to…give an impression of surveillance. They don’t sync to our phones but the sitters don’t need to know that.
Anonymous says
How well do you know your second cousin? How old is she? Considerations:
1) If this were my family member that I trusted, I would be fine with them bringing a companion (BF or just a friend) if it’s a long day sort of thing. If they are 18-20 I’d feel VERY differently than like, mid 20s.
2) Have your kids met the BF? If not, then no.
3) I think your past is highly relevant. Just because I would be fine with it doesn’t mean you should be, too.
When DH and I were engaged, we used to babysit DH’s friend’s kids. They were like, 6 months and 3 at the time. DH sat there at age 25 like a deer in the headlights which was hysterical. But he figured it out. Dude had never held a baby before. (Meanwhile, I’m the oldest of 4 and grew up babysitting the neighborhood)
anon says
I try not to take into account other people’s feelings when making risk assessments for my children. My children’s safety and health are my top responsibility. I will absolutely take into account feelings in how I communicate my health and safety decisions, though.
However, you might also want to think about how you would feel if the bf was a gf. I wouldn’t be less cautious with women than with men. Sex and gender aren’t reliable ways of determining if someone might cause harm to your child.
Anonymous says
+1 on gender. To me it’s just weird for a babysitter to bring along anyone, especially a romantic partner, regardless of gender. You are paying them to watch your kids. It’s not an evening hanging out.
Lily says
Yes, gender is a reliable way to assess risk. You are flat out wrong. Look at the stats for s*xual and physical abuse perps.
anon says
Thank you all. I appreciate it.
Anonymous says
No, it’s just one evening. She can entertain herself from 8:30-11pm for one night while she’s being paid for it.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
My almost 9-month-old loves to SCREAM. Not cry, but scream while smiling, mostly when others are around. Rarely when he’s solo in crib. Anyone have any experience with this? He’s loud like me…great.
ifiknew says
omg, my 2 year old does this too and has been doing it since about that age. He realizes it gets all of our attention and he thinks its hilarious. It’s quite frustrating these days..
AnonATL says
same. 13mo loves to run around the house and shriek. He thinks it’s hilarious, but it pisses the dogs off and its not exactly fun for mom and dad either.
Anon. says
Yep. We called her baby pterodactyl for a while. At 21 months mine seems to have mostly grown out of it.
Anonymous says
Ours is a velociraptor. Started around 9 months, too…glad to hear there’s a light at the end of the tunnel!
DLC says
Fun Friday Question: if the house were collapsing and your kid(s) could only save one toy, what do you think it would it be? Space not an issue. And if you or your partner could add something?
For my kids:
9 year old- A Barbie (and as many outfits as she could fit on that one Barbie. And the Barbie House if she could manage). Or maybe her Chromebook. It’s a toss up.
4 year old- toy dump truck.
2 year old- not sure… maybe her Fisher Price Laugh and Learn talking dog.
I would add the magnatiles. Or their bikes. My husband would grab the stuffed bear that he’s had since childhood.
I would definitely leave the legos and Calico Critters.
anonM says
My kids would probably grab the creepy doll that’s falling apart (or a cardboard box) because kids.
DH would grab his stuffed animals he passed down to the kids. So cute.
I’d grab the bin of wooden blocks my aunt passed down from my cousins, that I played with as a kid too. They’ve stood the test of time.
Boston Legal Eagle says
The easiest is my almost 3 year old who (if he were aware that he could only bring this one thing) would bring his stuffed bunny that goes everywhere with him.
My 5 year old would have a tough time choosing. He’d probably pick his train set but there are about a million pieces of it, so he’d drag both bins with him. He might also want to bring some of his legos. Or his stuffed turtle :O
I’d bring either their magna tiles or marble maze. Both can entertain them for a while. My husband can bring 5 year old’s scooter, just so we can have it with us.
Anonymous says
I would leave today’s featured item.
Anonymous says
Lol, I was thinking the same thing!
Anonymous says
Hmmm, so I’m thinking of this in terms of “if you could only have one toy on a desert island” not “what irreplaceable item would you save” [assuming you can just re-buy all the toys after a fire].
8 year old: Kindle fire, rainbow loom
5 year old: caboodle full of hair styling items for endless styling
3 year old: crayons
My kids all also LOVE legos, as do DH and I, so I’d probably lobby hard to grab those too.
AwayEmily says
3yo: his penguin lovey and whatever random object he is currently obsessed with (last week: a box of buttons. this week: his sister’s old jelly shoes). 5yo: maybe her puzzles?
I would wheel out the kids’ art cart because dammit I assembled that thing and I’m not gonna let it burn.
GCA says
The 3yo: her stuffed corgi (the favorite of all, oh, I don’t know, twelve stuffies currently taking up real estate on her bed. Yes, it’s ridiculous.
The 6yo: almost certainly the Legos.
anon4this says
My husband will be a 5th year in biglaw at a family friendly flexible (as it gets) firm in a major market outside the coasts. He’s considering going on 80% hours next year. We understand that there will be crazy times depending on what’s going on (he’s in litigation) but his firm adjusts up on bonus and salary if you go over your 80% target. We understand partnership may take longer (or be relegated to Of Counsel route, which is fine by him). He really likes the work and he’s really good at it, stellar reviews and regularly called their “right hand”. We have a significant net worth and will not remotely miss the 20% paycut he will be taking. With two small kids, we believe that time is the best gift we can give our lives at this point. I know the answer is to usually look for a government or other midlaw job, but the paycuts seem a lot more significant i.e. 50%+ for not working that much less. He bills ~2100 hours a year which is not aggressive by any means I think, so it’s probably as good as it gets in biglaw.
I posted on corporette a few weeks ago and got strong no way, not a good idea, but am curious what your collective thoughts are.
Anonymous says
Before making the decision I think he needs to actually decide if he wants to be Counsel vs. Partner in the long term (or otherwise his ultimate career goals.) You say that you won’t miss the pay, but have rejected the idea of other career paths. How will he feel about the loss of prestige of not being on the partner track? does it matter if plum assignments go to someone else?
While totally unfair, I think it would be easier for a woman to step down and then step back up than it is for a man. Once he (and you as a family) have decided on 5 / 10 year goals, I think the decision will be easy.
My personal opinion is the working 80% is a racket – you end up doing 100% work for less pay. Different with billable hours than as a salaried employee of course.
anon says
Pushing back a bit on easier for a woman to step back. My DH pushes back on things like travel and does so openly because of our young kids. He’s done so pretty successfully and even gets “good dad” kudos I don’t think women would get. And he’s not getting daddy tracked. But, either way, we are comfortable with the trade-off.
Anonymous says
I agree that it is easier for a man to step back than a woman. When my husband has to WFH to cover a snow day or leave early to pick up a sick kid, it makes him look like a reliable, stand-up guy, and he gets all sorts of praise. I, on the other hand, get accused of slacking because I’m a mom even though I do more work and put in more face time than the men.
Anonymous says
I worked at an 80% schedule for 6 years between having my baby and making partner and it was great. I got trued up if I worked over my goal hours, and got plum assignments and amazing experience. It is true that it’s different for men than women, but I know several lawyers who are on part time schedules to accommodate family life, and I think this is a good evolution. I wouldn’t hesitate to do it. Time is precious, and associates are also precious. If the firm is halfway decent, they’ll make it work to keep a good lawyer. If the firm doesn’t accommodate and then deliver, it’s time to find a firm that will.
Nanny credit or debt card says
Recommendations for a credit card or debit card for nanny? Don’t feel the need to super police this, but I also don’t want to add her to ours… I know this has been discussed before but having trouble finding it in the archives!
anon says
We use an Akimbo Prepaid Card. No fee if she uses it like a debit card. You load it with money.
H13 says
So, during the pandemic I started wearing old nursing bras daily bc of the comfort while WFH. Can anyone recommend a non-nursing bra that is similar in comfort? I am seeing a lot of foam molded cups which I don’t want but I DO want a regular back closure. Wide band preferred. Any favorites? I am usually a 36 C/D.
Thanks!
Anon says
Cosabella. Some have back closures (never say never curvy sweetie has a hook and eye back version, curvy ballet is standard with a hook and eye back).
Anon Lawyer says
Try Bravado. They make a non-nursing version of their nursing bra which is exactly like what you describe.