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Now that I spend more time in public, I’m on the hunt for pants that are a step up from sweats.
These stretch crepe pants definitely look more polished and professional than anything I’ve bought in a while. These slim fit, pull-on pants are made from washable and packable French stretch crepe. They also have a comfortable, wide waistband and come in six office-friendly colors.
I’d pair them with an oversized knit for the weekends. For the office, I’d add a cardigan or blazer in a complementary color.
These pants from Eileen Fisher are $168 and come in sizes XXS–3X.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
4 months postpartum and even though I’m at my pre-pregnancy weight, my body shape has changed so much none of my non-maternity clothes are anywhere near fitting. Any wardrobe favorites for this time that can build my confidence back up while I wait to see where my body settles? Tired of feeling down about how I look so want to purchase a couple items that make me feel good again.
AnonATL says
I bought a couple pairs of the Absolution jeans during the NAS, and I really like them. They keep the soft belly in while still being comfortable.
Anon says
Spanx pants. Ankle skinny jeans and, if you’re a leggings person, a pair of faux leather leggings. Go to Nordstrom and try some on instead of ordering online. They’re seriously great.
Anon says
What kind of climate do you live in? I am in NYC and jumpsuits are working for me until it hits winter. I am 10 months PP and my body changed even more at 6 months PP when I stopped breastfeeding. Loose jumpsuits still hide my belly/butt/thighs so they are my go to look for anything fancier than daycare drop off. I also appreciate the wide leg pant look with an elastic band, which is trendy and comfortable.
I also bought a few cute headbands off of Anthropologie that has boosted my self confidence. I wear them even with my leggings and I feel instantly better. Lastly, I cut my hair and it made me feel good about myself too.
OP says
I’m in the same climate as you so those sound like good ideas!
I think I’m going to do a haircut too, that pp hair loss is no joke and with very long hair it just feels like a tangled mess.
Curious says
I bought headbands too and love them!
Anonanonanon says
For me, all of my pregnancy weight went to my hips and somehow all of my PP weight loss came from the top half of my body. I resisted getting “curvy” fits because I was still a “small” size but getting curvy fit jeans and pencil skirts changed everything.
As we were discussing yesterday, the old professor look is in right now. A blazer goes a long way toward making me feel pulled together and also hiding some stuff, and is a great fall topper for when I’m cold on errands but don’t want to be fully bundled in a winter coat.
Anon says
I don’t have any great ideas but wanted to commiserate! My LO is 16 months and I am still struggling with this a little. Accepting reality and buying some leggings that are a size up from my pre-baby size has been helpful. I think my hips are just always going to be bigger than they were, unless I do some extreme dieting/exercising that is probably not healthy.
Anon says
Wrap dresses I find tend to be universally flattering and flexible if your shape is still settling; my boden ones are pricy but the Lavinia wrap dress I have in 4 prints. I went from an hourglass pre-pregnancy to very much an apple now. I weighed the same (pre-covid, which was 2 years PP), but all my weight redistributed itself to the middle and my hips and rib cage stayed wider. My solution has been to acknowledge that sheath dresses are no longer flattering on me and look for shift or A-line dresses or anything with a fuller skirt. And I have yet in 4 years to find a pair of pants that fit me well, so I just don’t wear pants unless they are leggings or jeans (i.e., I do not wear pants to work).
Anon says
I am 7.5 months postpartum, and I think where you are was the most stressful place for me. Getting a haircut helped a lot– and advice from my hair person on how to do basic things like brush my hair. (My hair also went from straight to curly so that has been fun too.)
For clothes– around that time I was still wearing things that had an empire waist or were loose fitting like a shirt dress, etc. I started getting jeans and pants that were a little tighter to suck me in and have felt much more like myself in pants. I have had good luck with the J Crew Cameron Pant and the Madewell Vintage Straight Jeans.
I would also recommend doing some type of postnatal core work when and if you have time, which should help make you feel better as well. It will also make things fit better.
NLD in NYC says
Do you bring a gift to a party for your child’s daycare “colleague”? Another child is having his 2nd birthday. I don’t know if he and DS are super close and it’s the first party in the After Times. Another child had a party a few months ago. While we couldn’t make it, I did bring a small gift because I’m half Southern :). From her reaction I’m not sure if anyone else brought something. Don’t want to only parent who doesn’t bring a gift or vice versa. 1st kid so dont know the kid’s party etiquette. Thoughts?
Anonymous says
For an in-school celebration, no gifts. For an out-of-school party, you bring a gift unless the parents have requested no gifts.
Anonanonanon says
Agreed. Raised in the fairly deep south, but I would rather be wrong on the side of bringing a gift than wrong on the side of not!
NYCer says
+1.
AIMS says
+ 2. When in doubt, I bring a book.
NLD in NYC says
Great idea, thanks all!
Anonymous says
Yes of course it’s a kids birthday party. Always bring a gift unless you are told not to. I only ever always bring books and highly recommend it. Just one book is plenty.
Anonymous says
This cold-hearted northerner agrees.
Anonymous says
Gift if you attend out of daycare part. No gift expected if do not attend which may account for the surprise in the previous case.
NLD in NYC says
Yeah, I had already bought the gift but the party had to be rescheduled to a time where we couldn’t attend.
Anonymous says
I never did (kid now in K) but I never new about the birthday until the day of (when there was a “Happy Birthday X” sign).
Anon says
Will my 11 month old grow out of standing in his Tripp Trapp or do I have to take proactive measures? I hadn’t been strapping him in bc the harness is so hard to deal with and I’ve wanted easy access to grab him in case he chokes. Husband says we need to strap him in now bc the risk of him falling and hurting himself is greater than choking.
Help!
Anonymous says
Your husband is 100% right you must strap him in that is a critical safety issue that I’m sorry to say you are simply entirely wrong about.
AIMS says
He’ll grow out of it eventually but I think until that happens your husband is 100% right.
Anonymous says
He’ll grow out of it, and then he’ll start trying again a couple months later. You need to strap him in.
Anonymous says
Your husband is right. If choking happens that frequently, you need to re-evaluate what you are feeding him and how it’s presented. In my observation, choking mostly happens with BLW. In an emergency you will be surprised at how quickly you can unclip the straps and get him out.
DLC says
We tell our kids that they have to sit down or they get strapped in. And then my husband follows through (he cares more than I do.) It usually works for the duration of the meal, and then the next day we have to start all over again. Kids are 2 and 4.5, and we still do this on occasion with the 4.5 year old.
I would do it with the nine year old but she sits in a regular chair.
Anon says
Can you get a seatbelt that isn’t a 5 point harness? We just did a waist strap and took our chest straps off. He will likely outgrow but it might be a while.
TheElms says
My DD started standing up around this age too but we never strapped her in (never had the straps on the chair in the first place – we just used the baby set plastic seat part. If she was in the high chair I was always within arms reach so I could grab her if she started to fall out. We taught her to sit back down. It was a really miserable 2ish weeks were we had to sit her back down a lot but she got the hang of it. Then around 18 months she started climbing out entirely, so we took the baby set off to make it safer and she just climbed in and out freely and sat on the seat without the plastic part.
So if you don’t want to use the straps then you just need to be really vigilant about never being more than arms length away from him to catch him if he falls.
Anonymous says
Non mom popping in at the request of a friend- my friend is pregnant which is wonderful but really struggling emotionally with maternity clothes. She’s a lesbian and her regular dress visibly reads as not-straight and definitely leans more masculine. Any tips for stores (online or in person is fine) that she might feel comfortable with?
Atlien says
I can see her frustration because maternity clothes tend to lean so feminine and floaty, or body-con, etc. It’s definitely harder to find structured more menswear-style maternity clothes IMO, especially because your shape is changing constantly so tailored-style can be tough. I would lean into the fact that joggers are still acceptable more in public and find a nice maternity button down? You can search here for maternity work clothes and hopefully find some pant/shirt combos apart from the more ubiquitous wrap dresses and empire-waist tops.
calling designers says
That would be tough! Lots of maternity clothes are so over-the-top feminine (all the rage during my first pregnancy was huge bows and big florals. Ugh my style didn’t change I’m just pregnant!). A few ideas — if they live near a maternity resale/consignment, it might be easier than online shopping. I also sized-up shirts and used a belly band tank thing for pants, a lot for earlier in pregnancy; with a maternity (long) tank top, they could probably do this through a lot of preganancy. These also look nice: MAMA MATERNITY STRAIGHT PANTS
Also, when I googled this, there was a reddit thread on the topic that might also be helpful.
P.S. Is anyone on here a designer? What a great, growing niche and need that could be filled here!
AnonATL says
Maybe Gap’s maternity line? They have a lot of basics that could work.
Anonymous says
Gap and Old Navy tend to have plain maternity pants, sweaters, and tees that look like normal clothes in subdued colors. If the maternity sweaters are too fitted, she could wear non-maternity sweaters in a larger size. And of course the shoes can make the look.
anon says
She may want to get mens tops to go with maternity pants. Depending on height, she may need to roll up the sleeves. I am 5’9″ and wore a lot of my taller husband’s clothes as weekend wear well into my twin pregnancy (especially button downs with the sleeves rolled up). I actually got a lot of compliments on some of those looks because I guess it was just different enough but people couldn’t seem to put their finger on why. My workplace was more formal then, but I would totally wear one of his sweaters with Gap maternity pants to my current job.
IHeartBacon says
This. Although I bought my fair share of maternity dresses, when I was not in the mood to wear a dress, I wore maternity leggings with my husband’s sweater, which were long enough to cover the bump and bum.
Anon says
+1 men’s tops were great and the length (if she’s on the shorter side) normally helped make up for the belly room needed.
GCA says
I shared her frustration while pregnant – typical floaty/ bodycon maternity wear is not my style. What about maternity jumpsuits? Gap has some that are more formal, and boilersuit/ overalls are also easy to find. I also liked Gap’s maternity trousers.
IHeartBacon says
“Androgynous pregnancy wear” on Pinterest has good ideas for outfits: https://pin.it/uMogBKn
Realist says
A quick search of Reddit suggests that people with similar feelings to your friend use these strategies:
1 – size up or use Big & Tall men’s stores if that fits her style
2 – get plain maternity tees and tanks and pair those with maternity jeans/pants and button shirts or stretchier/larger vests
Looks like a lot of people are in the same boat as your friend, so there is a business opportunity here for someone who wants to start a butch maternity like.
anon says
I would try to go as basic as possible with plain tees and pants. Maybe top it off with a button-down shirt that’s more her style, particularly if the body-con thing is an issue. I’d try Gap and Old Navy. The maternity stores were usually way too girly for my own tastes …
Anonymous says
Thank you all so much!
Anon says
Gap and Old Navy. I think most maternity clothing is online only these days. I also inherited my SIL’s maternity wardrobe which involves a lot of regular size gap sweaters in a size up. I have a lot of plain t-shirts and just wear a flannel or a sweater over them. I have clothes from Lands End, LL Bean, and Amazon basics that fit all 9 months – if she doesn’t have a wider framed torso they may fit her the whole time too. I guess leggings might be considered feminine but I’ve worn gap joggers and amazon basics sweatpants.
Anon says
If you Google butch maternity clothes, the items that come up for shopping might be helpful-looks like a lot of simple pants, basic tops and sweaters, and jumpsuits or overalls. Good luck to your friend!
Anonymous says
Pre-pandemic, my kids were in Catholic schools with uniforms. Then they were home for a year. Now they are in middle school where there is a dress code for decency (not too much skin, no bad words, no liquor or MJ references) but not for fashion. And it’s cold, so I swear all the kids I see on the days I pick up or drop off are in athleisure what seem to be actual pajamas. There aren’t the fashiony mean girls like in the movie. A lot of kids color their hair or wear all black all the time.
Spouse is pretty livid that our kids (girls, I am sure this would not be an issue for boys) are in “sweats every day.” This is objectively not true. Some days, yes (and doubly so — sweatshirt + sweatpants). Other days, cardigans with tall nice-looking joggers (so that way the pants are actually long enough to reach their ankles), casual dress + leggings, etc. I think he is bugged that they don’t wear jeans (they hate jeans — after uniforms for so long where they wore leggings, denim is uncomfortable and scratchy and rigid to them and I don’t disagree).
I am trying to let the kids self-advocate here, but I really want to have a middle school vice principal point out to Spouse that Spouse should be happy that the kids aren’t into crop-tops or destructive middle-school girl attention-getting getups, that they are typically attired, and that men should really but out of policing what girls put on their bodies. [The kids get that if they were going somewhere fancy how they would need to dress for that. Also, they do not seem to care to go shopping when asked (so I throw some things in an ON or BR factory cart and we discuss and then I order) or even to care much about anything except for really hating jeans.] Spouse is usually not a complete knuckle-dragging caveman but he seems to have a strong tendency to be on the wrong side of this particular thing. Go ahead, argue with a teen girl. Bring it and I will make the popcorn.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Our local middle school is right next to our elementary school so I see the kids there sometimes and nearly everyone is in sweats or leggings and a sweatshirt. They seem comfortable. Your kids seem to be right in line with this and agree that it’s way better than crop tops and cutoff jeans for example.
Anonymous says
Ummm wow no do not leave it to your child daughters to fight your misogynistic husband. That is your job. You don’t get to pull up the popcorn.
Spirograph says
Two of my three kids also hate jeans… I was kinda hoping they would outgrow it eventually, but maybe that’s further in the future than I thought!
I do let my kids wear sweatpants + sweatshirts to school, but they’re still in the tumbling playground years. Right now, I think I probably will insist on a dress code for propriety in middle school. Not in a policing-bodies kind of way, just in a “people will make assumptions about you based on the way you present yourself to the world, start getting used to it now and dress in a way that is appropriate to the situation so people make positive assumptions rather than negative ones” kind of way. That said, some joggers are really cute and not sloppy-looking at all, so would fit my criteria. Also, my daughter is almost 7 and already has *strong* opinions about her fashion, so I 100% recognize this plan might not survive first contact with reality when she’s 13.
Anonymous says
Lol but nice dream
Anonymous says
Not in a policing bodies kind of way, just in a reinforcing stereotypes kind of way.
Spirograph says
*shrug* It’s not my world, I just live in it. avocado said it better than I did. My daughter currently has blue hair, which I obviously helped her dye. Self expression is great! but within some guardrails. For me, there’s a baseline of grooming and put-togetherness required to show respect for the place you’re going. I don’t think school is a super high bar, but it’s not nonexistent. Nice-looking joggers with a cardigan or a casual dress + leggings like the OP described absolutely clears it, full on slouchy sweats (for me) doesn’t.
Anon says
um your spouse sounds ridiculous. who cares if they wear jeans! so many other things to worry about. at my private school that only had a decency dress code people used to wear literal pajama pants to school. and i agree – glad that they aren’t wearing crop tops. if they are in line with the school dress code and school is going well for them, that should be what matters. i give spouse permission to want kids to wear something other than sweats if you are attending a special event, like synagogue or church or eating at a nice restaurant.
Anonymous says
This. I literally never wear jeans. Why does he care? How is sporty clothing a problem for girls? Like they actually might be able to run around at lunch time?
avocado says
I have a teenager. What I have learned is that it’s best to set some guardrails in terms of dress and grooming and then let them make their own choices. I don’t allow jeans where half the front of the leg is missing, pajamas except on pajama day, anything that looks too goth, crop tops, or items apparently designed for clubbing, and I require a semi- appropriate level of formality for church etc., but beyond that I’m not policing school clothes. The more freedom you allow them, the less conflict and the better they do at finding their own way. After a few weeks back in school, my daughter has actually leveled up her style and started wearing pretty cute outfits instead of sweatshirts and sweatpants. I also let her buy a box of hair dye, in which she has now apparently lost interest because I didn’t object.
anon says
Too goth?! What is wrong with goth? Goth style is a rebellion against overly feminine styles that sexualize women. If it doesn’t go against the school’s dress code, what is the issue? Are you also anti- punk, skater, grunge, etc.?
Anonymous says
Based on the (foremerly, at this point) goths I know, I never would have pegged anything goth as “rebellion against overly feminine styles that sexualize women.” Most of the goths I’ve ever known are guys and the girls are either their GFs (so in a way, following that patriarchy); there is a subset of each that is in a dark place (probably same for all teen groups) and a subset of “not really committed but it scares my older relatives and my parents hate it.” I get why a parent would have a not-too-goth rule. If I ever felt the need to have one, I’d probably try to have a serious talk about what is really going on since it may not be just fashion.
avocado says
Nailed it.
anon says
You are wrong. Speaking from experience. There are also studies that have shown that many “alternative” styles are appealing to teenage girls precisely because they give them room to rebel against conventional beauty standards.
I doubt you actually “knew” any goth kids. If you did, you’d understand this better.
Anonymous says
I am all for self-expression, but I disagree that following along with exactly what peers are doing is much better than following traditional standards of beauty.
avocado says
Actually yes, not too much of any subculture would be a good way to describe it. Self-expression is good, but anything that veers into costume territory and/or practically begs adults to judge her is a step too far for me.
I’m not a total uptight meanie. She wears Doc Martens to church and I let her dye her hair blue when she was 9 or 10.
anon says
Huh, you sound pretty uptight to me. “begs adults to judge her”? That’s a pretty reductionist/surface interpretation of why teens act in certain ways. Sorry you aren’t open minded enough to allow your kids to really flourish.
avocado says
Anon@1:38, Heh. Just wait until you have a teenager. “Just let kids do whatever they want without thinking of the consequences” is the viewpoint that’s reductionist. It’s not really so simple as that. The job of a parent is to support a child’s development and allow appropriate freedom without permitting the child to cause harm to herself or others. I know the community in which we live, I know the teachers, and I know what is and isn’t going to have lasting consequences. As Spirograph says, it’s not my world, I just live in it. An adult with mature decision-making abilities is free to dress however she wants and to accept the consequences. A teenager’s brain isn’t developed enough to make it fair to impose that responsibility. The argument that other people’s reaction to what a child wears is their problem, not hers, ignores the reality of the world in which we live.
anon says
Avocado, I do have a teenager. She’s a perfectly typical teen who makes good choices and bad choices but none of that really has anything to do with what she wears. I’m not advocating for letting kids do whatever they want with no consequences. I absolutely agree that showing up to church with ripped jeans and a dog collar is inappropriate. But school or hanging out with friends is when kids have a chance to establish themselves as independent people. I hope you aren’t teaching your kids that it’s acceptable to judge others based on their appearance/what they choose to wear. That’s how the “weird” kids end up ostracized, which is traumatic and harmful. If your kids chose to wear clothing that was not traditional to their gender, would you police that, too? Maybe spend sometime thinking about why you place such a high value on appearance over character. Jeez, I feel like I’m arguing with a 1980s high school principal from a made for tv movie.
Anon Lawyer says
Isn’t it just laughably outdated? It feels like if my mom had told me I couldn’t dress too much like a hippie. But yeah, your kid dressing “too goth” seems like number 8 million on a list of things to worry about.
Anon says
It sounds like you’re policing clothes kind of a lot? School is a bit of a prison to begin with. People pleasing towards authority figures is one approach to life but not the only one.
Anonymous says
I friended the parents of my kids’ friends a while back on IG and then their kids when they got on IG (around age 10). Fast forward a few years and the girls’ IG accounts are all teen girls in bikinis in swimming pools. It’s really not what I want my kids doing or having to scroll through (they have phones but don’t text and I don’t generally comment on what I see except to my very good friends, like is this normal? If this is what the “good parents” are letting their kids do, what else is out there?). These kids are just 13, but it’s been going on maybe for a couple of summers now? Tell your husband, be careful what you wish for, especially with daughters and body issues and wanting attention and caring about and having to deal with the male gaze.
Anonymous says
Yeah good girls wear bathing suits in pools and enjoy it and share. You sound like Mary Ann’s dad from the babysitters’ club.
Anonanonanon says
Sorry, is the question are “good parents” really letting their daughters swim in swimsuits?
Anonymous says
I think it is posting a lot of bikini photos. Swim meet stuff has a less problematic aspect than what I think the OP is getting at.
anon says
Yeah, I agree. It’s not a bunch of girls in swimsuits having fun by the pool, it’s one girl, posing. It’s clearly a picture meant to show off their bodies.
avocado says
Yeah, I guess I’m a bad parent because I have been letting my daughter wear a sporty bikini for a few years now. I don’t want sleazy adult men leering at her so I don’t let her wear anything va-va-voom, but I am not making her wear a one-piece because I won’t even wear a one-piece.
No posting bikini photos on instagram, though. Our family doesn’t post any recognizable human photos on social media. I am trying to convince the facial recognition algorithms that my dog is me. Yes, I do check her phone.
IHeartBacon says
No, I think the OP was asking whether good parents let their 11 year old daughters post photos of themselves in bikinis all over the internet. I don’t know the context of the photos so I have no opinion on it. But, for example, if the photos are of little girls that are just splashing around in the pool, having fun like regular 11 year old kids, but they just happen to be in their swimsuits and those swimsuits happen to be bikinis, that is fine. But if the photos are of 11 year old girls posing Kardashian-style in their bikinis and posting that on the internet, that is not fine.
Anonymous says
OP on this comment, and yes, it’s the Kardashian-ness of it (like all of your 10 friends in the pic really wanted to be in a bikini and photographed and tagged and on Instagram?). I don’t care what people wear, but I don’t want my teen girl to feel like she has to be in photographical shape in a bikini and to have that widely shared and labeled so people know who she is. Sort of envious that guys get to be clothed on the internet.
My IG is mostly cooking fails lately.
Mary Moo Cow says
I could see this being an issue with my own husband, and conversations we have had around dress come out of an insecurity or a concern about how people will perceive you. I remember how kids make fun of the kids who look sloppy and when boys started making fun of me. I also know that if I wear leggings too many days in a row I also don’t shower and I don’t get as much work done and I don’t feel good about myself and can’t remember why, until I clean up and put on hard pants for a day. Maybe this is your spouse’s thought too: I want to protect my kids from being made fun of or deemed lazy by their teachers because they are in sweats, and I don’t want boys to be staring at my daughter’s rear end in leggings. I’m not saying that’s right or that you should ignore it or that you should side with him and police your daughter’s wardrobe, just that if you can figure out what’s driving it, you can formulate a better response.
Anonymous says
You don’t shower when you wear leggings? What?
Anonymous says
Yeah like I wear leggings all the time and also I bathe?
NYCer says
I admit that I am less likely to shower if I know that I will just wearing leggings around my house all day.
DLC says
Me too. It’s not about the leggings themselves for me, it’s about the low resistance life inertia that makes it easy to collapse exhausted into bed in my leggings and then roll out of bed the next morning and go on with my day because some days putting on real pants is not the priority.
But yeah, I’m also curious about Spouse’s reason for his livid attitude towards sweats. Seems like there’s something not being articulated.
Anonymous says
Me too. I didn’t shower last night because I was going to work this morning anyway. But then I overslept, and since I’m WFH today, I just threw on some joggers and a zoom-sweater with no shower. Comfy pants just make me feel lazy all around.
FVNC says
I like this response. Maybe none of this is going through Spouse’s mind, but I think it’s helpful to think about WHY he might be having this reaction. It seems far more likely his response is coming from (misguided?) protectiveness than truly caring that his daughters don’t wear jeans.
Anonymous says
This is exactly what would be going through my spouse’s mind.
Anonanonanon says
I would, in all seriousness, have him drive by the school at dismissal time if he’s never seen the crowd of kids. Maybe seeing that it really is ALL OF THEM will make him feel better?
Funny enough, I’m this way with my son. He doesn’t wear sweats/basketball shorts etc to school. I’d be more flexible with a girl, if no girls are wearing jeans I wouldn’t want her to stick out like a sore thumb. and omg what if they’re the WRONG jeans! It’s all so complicated with girls!
Anonymous says
headdesk
anon says
I’m sorry, no. You need to tell your Spouse that he’s being out of line. If it’s not a problem for the school, it’s not a problem for him. And it will only get worse with time.
Anon says
I don’t understand what his concern is. If he’s just complaining, I would completely ignore him on this issue. This is an insane thing for him to get worked up about.
Anon says
Tell him it’s not the 90’s anymore and that he’s old and out of touch with fashion. :)
anon says
One of the greatest gifts my dad gave me was to never ever comment on my appearance. No comments on clothes, hair, makeup, whatever. He focused on me as a person, my accomplishments, my character, etc. And I had some pretty out there style choices–blue hair, fishnets, dark eyeliner/lipstick, combat boots. I really really loved him for seeing me for who I was, not for what I looked like. And you know what? Today, I dress pretty normal. I love stylish clothes and I’m often complimented on my style, but I don’t do anything outlandish anymore. Kids are trying to figure themselves out, and one way to do that is through dress. If they aren’t harming anyone, let them be. I feel sorry for your girls.
Anonymous says
My dad is from an age where his ideas about what girls should wear were not in line with what the norm was where we grew up. Fortunately, growing up in NJ made me a pretty in-your-face person, so he was foolish enough to wade into this and I think he realized quickly that that was not a very good idea. So it can be a problem that girls are capable of solving for themselves.
Anonymous says
Jumping off the sweats question, when do I have to start dressing my 3-year old in real pants? He basically wears sweatpants every day. I have bought some jeans for him but it’s difficult to get the fit/length right.
Anonymous says
Never. Like. Maybe for a formal event sure.
anon says
My son is 13 and has only ever worn sweats. Other than formal events. Fit/length is still an issue.
anon says
I like you! :)
Anonymous says
How competent is he with potty training? I wouldn’t put him in anything like jeans (e.g. overalls) unless he is really already excellent at getting things down/up and going when needed. And in winter, IMO sweats are warmer than jeans.
anon says
Never? I mean, if he wants to wear something different at some point, fine, but I wouldn’t worry about it. My 4 & 5yos wear leggings 75% of the time. They have jeans, but prefer the softer materials most of the time.
If it’s just a fit issue, you want the jeans that come with adjustable waists (the elastic bands with buttonholes).
Anon says
I was able to dress my kids in real pants until about age 5, when my oldest started having opinions on his outfit and now wants mainly athletic clothes, and never jeans! (And now he influences the younger one.) Even in kindergarten, sweatpants and athletic clothes seem to be the uniform for boys. If you’re already in sweatpants and are fine with it, then there’s no need to switch. I like the look of cute jeans and a cotton shirt so I put my boys in that as long as they let me
Anonymous says
I think it’s fine to have something for pictures, a meal out, or some time when you want them to look a little more put-together. But it’s like asking me to dress up to walk the dog — why, exactly? You can control whether they are wearing fresh-looking clean clothes that you and they both like, but I’m into letting kids make all of the good decisions they can (and even a certain amount of bad ones with low stakes). As long as I can get a cute snap for the grandparents here and there, daily driver clothes are not the hill I want to die on.
Anon says
Totally agree (I’m Anon@9:45). My kids dress up more for church, holidays and other times when it’s appropriate, but last year when we had constant struggles over my rule of “jeans to school, sweats at home” I asked myself why? It was a boundary I set because of my own preferences and fear of judgement that my kids looked “sloppy”…but as you said, all the clothes were clean, it’s not really inappropriate to wear track pants to public school, and it gives my kids a degree of autonomy and practice making decisions in a low-stakes way. So…I stopped fighting and we’re all happier.
GCA says
Maybe never? I have a string bean 6yo and he has been in sweats since age 3 as it’s impossible to find real pants that fit in the waist and are long enough. With sweatpants, there’s more wiggle room on length, though he still often outgrows them in length before they ever fit properly in the waist. And now he won’t wear jeans or ‘real pants’ except on dressier occasions (and we’ve had basically no dressy occasions since the pandemic began). At some point kids do begin to have opinions about what they wear, and I’m not one to really police it unless obviously inappropriate (for weather, rude words/ graphics, etc.
Cb says
I think it’s weather dependent. My kid loves these bright coloured H&M leggings but I don’t think they are warm enough for winter where we live, so we’ve recently switched to some heavier joggers, cords, etc. I find drawstrings easier for getting to the potty in a hurry.
He’ll be in uniforms from next year – black or grey trousers, polo shirt, sweatshirt, black non-sneakers – so letting him be comfy for now.
Anonymous says
When he wants to. My 9 year old still prefers “soft pants” and elastic waists.
Anonymous says
PS – in winter he wears microfleece pants, which I think are warmer than jeans.
Katala says
We tried sending my oldest to K when he started in person last winter in jeans and the teacher suggested we do sweats because he seemed uncomfortable and fidgety in jeans. I don’t expect him to want to wear jeans really ever. He kept trying to wear sweats instead of his (elastic waist but not gym-style) shorts which we had to deny while the weather was still 90+ degrees.
Anonymous says
A lot of kids’ jeans these days are really uncomfortable because of the buttons and bunching from the adjustable waists.
anon says
You don’t.
anne-on says
Just an FYI if anyone was planning on picking up advent calendars at Aldi’s – they are available today and there were lines at 8am and there were limits in place as to how many you can buy (to thwart resellers I’d guess).
Anon says
i guess i will breathe a sigh of relief that only one anti masker one in our school board election and the one that won has more experience than one of the other ones running for a different seat, who literally has none. but i still dont get the argument that parents should decide whether their kids wear masks – as a parent, i dont make decisions on any other public health related measures
Anonymous says
At least you’re not in VA. Our school mask mandates are all going away January 15, right about when vaccines have really started to wear off for kids 12 – 16.
Anon says
is that due to the election results last night? or was that always the plan? my kids aren’t even school age yet, they are 3 and in a preschool with great covid protocols, but i definitely care about the protocols in the greater community and more generally the people governing over the schools i hope my kids will one day attend
Anonymous says
The Republican was elected and plans to rescind the current Democratic governor’s executive order requiring masks.
Anon says
We need off ramps for masks for kids. Vaccines do not wear off. I’m pretty liberal, but we can’t mask forever and COVID is not dangerous for children. Not ideal, of course, but there are vaccines and we need to have a real conversation about the negatives of masking children.
Anon says
We need to keep masks for kids or rethink our schools (congregate settings, ventilation, etc.). It’s unacceptable how schools have served as a petri dish of unnecessary contagion that spreads through the whole community and endangers the vulnerable.
Anon says
ok, so maybe the off-ramp is when the vaccine is required at school for students and teachers? or how are you going to know who is vaccinated and who isn’t. today i was driving to work and saw a bunch of kids walking to school wearing masks, which they definitely don’t need to do. yesterday i saw some kids with their masks still on after school. the masks bother the adults so much more than the kids. the statement that covid is not dangerous for children does not apply to all children
Anonymous says
COVID is in fact dangerous for children and especially for teens. I don’t want my kid to get long COVID because you don’t want your precious snowflake to have to cover up her face in school. The offramp is metrics for community spread + a vaccine mandate in schools.
The vaccines’ effectiveness does wane over time, which is why almost all adults in the US are now eligible for boosters. Kids crammed into poorly ventilated classrooms are just as much in need of boosters as their teachers.
NYCer says
I agree. I am hoping now that vaccines have been approved for elementary school aged kids that the conversations will happen sooner rather than later.
Anonymous says
What is so bad about masks? They are not terribly burdensome. FFS, I speak in front of groups and even sing in one. Sitting in a classroom wearing a mask is exponentially easier. As long as community transmission is out of control, and until vaccines are mandated in schools, I don’t want unvaccinated kids breathing the same air as my child without a mask on. It’s unrealistic to say, “just mask your own kid.” In my red county, as soon as masks are optional there will be bullying of kids who wear masks.
Anonymous says
Covid might not be dangerous for children, but, unfortunately, they do tend to interact with others in the community.
Anonymous says
COVID is dangerous for children. It is in the top 10 leadings causes of death for kids under 14. And a pretty alarming proportion of kids hospitalized with COVID (maybe 30% IIRC?) don’t have an underlying condition or some risk factor for severe COVID. And vaccines can have decreased effectiveness over time — as can natural immunity. And some people don’t mount a good enough response to vaccination or truly cannot be vaccinated for medical reasons, and I believe they deserve to live and participate in society. Vaccines were just approved for 5+, those 4 & under are still waiting. So before you want to have your “real conversation” about the negatives of masking children, do your research.
Anonymous says
Talk to me about morning routine and what your kids eat for breakfast. I have a four year old who is fully competent but POKY. Now I also need to get my 9 mo twins out the door by 7:30. Do I dress kiddo as soon as he wakes and give him a bar in the car? His normal wake time is 7 and I’m good with that (he’s high sleep needs). We normally “eat” breakfast together but it’s eggs and kiddo smothers his one egg in ketchup, takes a bite and then he’s done. It’s both wasteful and a waste of time/starts an argument most mornings. Looking for ways to streamline. He wont sleep in his clothes but maybe I can lay them out the night before.
Anonymous says
Dressed immediately from bed and breakfast is yogurt or toast or a bar in my house. And fruit if I have time. I do not cook breakfast, ever.
Cb says
Bar in a car. My 4 year old is an expert staller – lots of objections about whether his outfit is “cool”. We dress before going downstairs, and if he’s too slow, he can eat on the train and have proper breakfast at nursery.
Anon says
that sounds HARD. are you solo in the mornings? i am impressed!!! my twins are now 3.5 and we had a nanny when they were little largely bc i could not imagine getting out of the house, well and it was more economical for our situation. we lay clothes out the night before and my kids are hungry in the morning, so first they drink milk, then get dressed, then eat breakfast, but in your situation i would definitely do a bar in the car. or a bar and milk. sounds like he doesn’t like to eat a lot when he first wakes up.
Mary Moo Cow says
I don’t like eating in the car, and I have the same issue with my 6 and 4 year olds: so much waste! We have learned that they have to be dressed before coming downstairs or forget it. We also have to leave by 7:30, so we turn lights on in their rooms at 6:40, make sure they are up and getting dressed by 7, breakfast over by 7:20, and then teeth and hair brushed by 7:25. Winter is harder because they are fights over wearing a coat and extra time for gloves, etc. In general, we’re learned that constant reminders of time backfire and lead to resentment whereas one reminder at each time and not fussing if they eat three bites and then go play leads to smoother mornings. This was a steep learning curve for me. We also have a rule that there’s nothing to eat between meal and snack, so if you don’t eat breakfast, you don’t get anything to eat until regularly scheduled snack time. Some mornings they still eat three bites, but they know the rule.
Anonymous says
I would do sippy with milk when he wakes up and breakfast bar on the drive. I pick out clothes one week at a time and put them in bins with 5 drawers in the living room. No room for debate then. At that age, usually helped by popping shirt over head and then kid puts arms through or helped with undies and pants and then sat kid of sofa to work on socks while I got twins ready. It was about feeling ‘cared for’ and not that they had to to it all themselves while mommy only helped the babies. Doing the 30% of the help with the dressing seemed to make the whole thing like 100% faster.
Anonanonanon says
I’m not normally a “talk to your kids like adults/you would want to be talked to all of the time” person because kids have kid brains and have parents for a reason. BUT, I’m also not a breakfast person and I had to come to terms with the fact that someone lecturing me to eat first thing in the morning and also to do it faster would NOT be a great start to my day, so I have learned to let it go. I’m team milk in the AM and a breakfast she can take in the car with her if needed.
Anon says
You are AMAZING! My 10 month old eats Ezekiel bread everyday for breakfast after his bottle of milk (3-6oz). It is easy, freezes well, and no mess! If I’m up for cleaning up a mess, I give some Greek yogurt. Sometimes I give some fruit. He is allergic to eggs, so we do not do egg omelette, sadly. We change clothes after breakfast.
It takes me about 1.25 hours from wake-up to getting into our car. I wish this was faster but he is so mobile and poops at least once during that time…admittedly I let him play a bit too.
Anonymous says
I vote bar in a car (we did a snack trap of cheerios) as long as the ride is long enough for him to finish the bar.
anon says
My almost 4YO eats breakfast, but he’s awake longer before we have to leave (ie little sister wakes him up usually around 6:30, we leave for daycare at 8). As for streamlining, I’ll again plug what has started working for us (knock on wood) — the “Pajama basket” — in the am, he takes out the clothes we picked out for school the night before, and he puts his pajamas back in the basket to re-wear that night. I think it works because it was sort of his idea, so maybe get LO to pick the container/basket/bin.
DLC says
Will they let him eat breakfast at daycare? I tell my kids they have to start getting dressed at X time, and if they aren’t done eating they can have school breakfast. One of our daycares didn’t serve breakfast, but, if we got there before 9:15a, they would let him sit and eat something before circle time (usually a banana and a mini bagel.)
Or put him in clothes and throw a large t-short over it while he eats?
I don’t usually let them eat in the car, but perhaps a smoothie in the right sort of straw cup might be doable?
Anonymous says
I have a very similar 6 year old (also high sleep needs so if i had to wake him before 7 I’d need to put him to bed at like 6:15 pm). Slow eater but allowing him to just eat a bite or two or wait for snack at school is not an option for school behavior reasons. We do dressed right away, then milk, then offer breakfast but also bring something in the car if needed (even if it’s just some dried fruit to get blood sugar up).
Anonymous says
My pokey eater does best with a portable breakfast, in the car. Banana bread, muffins, pancakes (NO SYRUP!), yogurt in pouches, bananas, that sort of thing.
Anon says
We don’t do food in the car, but have adjusted our morning routine to build in time for my 4yo slowpokes to get dressed and eat breakfast and pushed bedtime earlier to keep up the same amount of sleep. To be out the door at 7:30, we’d set their okay-to-wake light for 6:15, they get dressed 6:15-6:30 (clothes picked out the night before), downstairs to brush hair and eat breakfast 6:30-7:15, 7:15 pack their lunch in their backpack, 7:20 go pee, put on shoes, jacket, etc.
Weekday breakfast is simple. Either muffins/banana bread/etc I made over the weekend, cereal, or toast and they know the routine is that they’re cut off from breakfast at 7:20 regardless of it they’re done.
When my twins were 9 months we didn’t have an older kid, but our morning routine was just wake up 6:30, change diapers, get dressed, one parent give them a bottle of milk while the other packed the daycare bag, and all out of the house at 7am.
Fallen625 says
My husband does am and he need to get out pretty quickly and my 3.5 year old is a very slow eater. We have had a lot of luck with cooking and freezing pancakes/waffles on the weekdays for breakfast during the week .He loves them and so he eats them faster than other foods, and it’s portable if you need to eat them in the car. When I cook them I add pumpkin or bananas in the batter to make it healthier (when husband cooks them he doesn’t haha). Other fast breakfast that seem to work well are oatmeal (the 5 minute kind microwaved) and scrambled eggs with cheese.
Frazzled says
My toddler spent the entire morning screaming about something until I finally deposited him at daycare. I feel so worn out. How do you get back on track after tough mornings?
AIMS says
If I can spare the time (big IF) a cup of coffee (or your beverage of choice) to reset.
Anonymous says
Google Tinx Rich mom walk. A 10 minute walk does so much good
Anon says
Should I buy a weaning table and chair OR the pikler triangle? 1 year old boy, very very active, in daycare full time. Room in budget for one not both. Not a need, but fun to have? We don’t have easy access to a playground.
I could see him eating breakfast at the table most days, but would otherwise go unused? Whereas he would probably climb on the pikler morning and night.
Anonymous says
Triangle. No one needs a weaning table. High chair with a tray. It is not an advantage to have your toddler free to get up and roam the house with toast and jam.
Anonymous says
What is a weaning table? Is it a kid-sized table? Those are very useful for crafts and play.
Most of what I’ve heard about the pikler triangle is that kids are not that interested in it.
Atlien says
If the goal is activity and to burn energy, etc., then the triangle. My kid gained competence on the triangle but doesn’t use it daily. But there are all sorts of alternatives– the plastic slide, a doorway swing/jungle gym, a tunnel/ball pit, etc. You can get any kid-sized table for way less than the Montessori weaning table and it doesn’t sound like your son will want to sit down and color or read, etc., for long.
AwayEmily says
I don’t know what a weaning table is but if you want a climbing thing, get a Nugget. Those things are amazing and good for longer than a triangle.
Anon says
I’m getting the pikler for my baby who will be 9 months at Xmas. He’s already pulling to stand now at 6 months. A weaning table seems cute, but could be DIY’ed cheaper and easier than a triangle.
May I also suggest a nugget? I was a skeptic at first but we really like ours (my older boys are 4 and 6) and my baby is loving climbing up and over it already.
Anon says
I would do a triangle, but for me i think it important the we all eat at the same table.
We have a Keekaroo high chair (similar to Stokke) , which I think gives our kids the same kind of autonomy as a weaning table.
Anon says
what is a weaning table? if it is just a little table to play at, get the one from ikea for $30. if you don’t have easy access to a playground, i would actually recommend the little tikes plastic slide, also for $30. my parents still have the one i got for my 1st birthday 35 years ago (though then it was fisher price and much thicker plastic) and at 3.5 my twins still use it. if you are looking for something you’d longer use out of, i’d go for a nugget over the pikler.
Anonymous says
+1 – get cheap versions of both; your kid will outgrow them fast.
Anonymous says
If you don’t have a kid-sized table and chair, I would definitely get that, although they can be found at a variety of price points so get something cheaper. I really like having an area for little kids to do crafts and projects that’s not sitting at the kitchen table — it lets them move around and be more independent. Sometimes my kids eat at their table as well. Ikea has a lot of reasonable options, also Buy Nothing or local sale groups.
Anon Lawyer says
I bought one for $40 off Facebook Marketplace and I’m glad I didn’t spend more because this way, I do not care at all when it gets colored on. She does not get to eat messy things at it because – yes – she will wander around the house with it and get jam or whatever everywhere.
Separately to the OP, I bought a Pikler triangle as a deranged pandemic purchase and it was not worth it. Those things are very expensive and fun but not THAT fun. I would be more inclined to buy a Nugget as someone suggested above.
anonamama says
I bought the pikler as a Christmas gift for active 1 yo. Barely used it. Same level of active, now 2, popped it out to take pics to sell – DIDNT EVEN TOUCH IT. I wish I had bought the foamnasium blocks or nugget couch instead. Ended up selling Pikler, will buy Nugget/Foamnasium/Blocksy for this Christmas. The end.
Anon says
Thanks everyone for all the feedback on getting a nugget (or something similar) over the pikler. I hadn’t considered it because a few of our friends (with similarly sized apartments) said it didn’t work well in their home and thought it would work better in a home with a separate play areas. Would you all say this is true?
Anon says
You definitely need somewhere to store or keep it. I have it set up as a “couch” in my office when it’s not pulled out and being played with.
Anon says
I agree. Our nugget actually gets very little use so i’m glad we have a place out of the way for it to live (toy room). I don’t regret it though because when the kids do get it out they have lots of fun with it; it’s just not what they gravitate towards.
Anon says
i’m the anon at 12:11 and live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my 3.5 year old twins. we have a nugget. it used to be folded up tucked in between one of the cribs and the wall, but then that kiddo wanted to start climbing on it to lcimb out of the crib, so now it sits on the floor in their room. sometimes we pull it out into the living room. we keep the little tikes slide in a closet. i grew up in an nyc apartment and we had a little tikes slide there. i mean the nugget is large, but i’ve heard of a lot of people whose kids never really take to the pikler triangle. do you live ina. cold climate? is the goal to burn energy during long winter weekends?
OP says
Bingo! Looking for something to burn off his energy. We are in the NYC area so things are starting to get cold. He isn’t walking yet–would he be able to use the slide?
Anonymous says
OP – also in NYC and we had the Little Tykes slide. My son didn’t use it a lot until he was more like 2, but he’s not a risk taker. It was worth the small amount of space it took up for us but it sounds like your kid is a bit young for it.
Anon says
so we visited my dad when my twins were 18 months. at the time, one twin had been walking for like 7-8 weeks and she figured out how to use the slide. so i guess it depends on how new of a 1 year old you have/how soon you think kiddo will be walking? if you dont already have one of the tunnels that folds up very compactly, those can be good for crawlers (and walkers!) things change quickly with kids so even if he isn’t walking now, very well coudl be by mid january. we finally bought our own when my twins were 22 months and i wish we bought it sooner, bc i would say 18 months -2.75 was peak usage for us though it still gets used now
AwayEmily says
When it’s not being used it can be folded up into a square that doesn’t take up much room.
anonamama says
We also have a foldable plastic slide from Amazon (1yo gift) and I neglected to say it got SO MUCH more play than the pikler. It was a gift, so not sure brand, but it is light blue and green, folds up. I have the cutest videos of him learning to use it. This sounds like a great pick for OP!
Bday parties says
What are your feelings about attending birthday parties for daycare classmates when the whole class is invited (3-4 year olds)? It might be nice to meet other parents and entertain my kiddo for a couple hours, but then again, it will probably be awkward too, since I don’t know the hosts or many other parents, and I might regret making the effort. I can imagine how nerve wracking it is to invite everyone to your kid’s party, and I generally want to be a yes person to be supportive, and we do so little these days socially anyway… but I’m conflicted. Tell me your experiences. I know I’m probably overthinking this.
Anonymous says
I always go if it fits our schedule and don’t fret if it doesn’t. I like having friends, I want my kids to have friends, and a big part of that is when you are invited to social things, you go and are pleasant and friendly to people.
Anonymous says
Many families will have scheduling conflicts. Go if you want to, don’t if you don’t.
ElisaR says
totally go. this is a normal thing to do. avoiding a kids party because of your own insecurities is…… immature. do you have major anxiety? am i missing something? obviously if it’s going to cause you major anxiety then protect yourself…. but yeah, this a thing parents do. also, maybe you meet a friend.
Anonymous says
Counterpoint: preschool birthday parties are a gigantic waste of limited weekend time. We opted out completely.
Anon says
Isn’t it a little premature to assume she is insecure or has major anxiety? Why all the judgment, ElisaR?
ElisaR says
i was trying to think it through and give her a break in the event of major anxiety…. trying to be potentially sympathetic.
IHeartBacon says
I laughed a little as I read the OP’s comment, not because I thought she had major anxiety, but because I can tell she is an introvert. These kinds of thoughts sometimes run through my mind when I’m going to embark on a new social adventure. It’s an introvert thing. ;)
Anon says
Yeah, me too. I think it’s normal.
GCA says
Introvert here! Can concur.
anon says
Yes! And, if your kiddo is an introvert it may actually NOT be fun! I do my best to avoid over-scheduling my introverted son on weekends because after a week of daycare he’s tapped. (Halloween was too much – a daycare party + pumpkin carving + trick-or-treating…He was cranky for two days after.) My daughter would probably be like the folks below and think it was best.day.ever. But I’m not dragging son to optional events I don’t feel like going to either. (He literally told me after that he refused to wear the costume because “too many people mommy, so I didn’t wear it.”)
CPA Lady says
I love it. It’s how I met all my mom friends, people I still see and get together with regularly even though our kids are in elementary school (in several different schools) now. The way you make friends is by seeing the same people over and over. You already have built in stuff to talk about since your kids are the same age.
FVNC says
+1. There are frequent posts here asking how to make mom friends. OP, if you happen to be looking for mom friends, this is one of the best ways to meet other working parents. I 100% use kid parties as a way to meet people, and in fact only hosted parties when my kids were that young as an excuse to meet other parents.
Anon says
+2. It’s the BEST way to meet mom friends. They’ll likely be dual-working parents too, since the kids are in daycare, so you’ll have a lot of common challenges as the kids grow.
I didn’t love spending weekend time on daycare parties and playdates (that’s what daycare is for!) but man am I grateful that we did. Almost all of my closest mom friends are people I met from daycare. Just one morning text about “OMG my kid would NOT sleep last night, I’m going to need an IV drip of coffee” and I knew we were friends. Meeting elementary school parents is much harder, and more like online dating in that it takes more tries and is longer to establish a relationship.
anon says
Daycare birthday parties are a good way to get to know families in the community and get a network of parents. If some of the kids go to the same elementary school as your kid, it makes elementary school events way more fun because you have parents you already know.
For me, the parent network has been crucial for finding out about resources and opportunities, including when 5-11 vaccine appointments opened locally.
Also, children tend to enjoy birthday parties and learn about how to behave at birthday parties.
anon says
All of this. Is it my favorite way to spend a weekend? No, it’s not. But it’s a really good way to build community and those looser ties that can make school life more pleasant.
Anonymous says
I’m confused about why you are conflicted. Do you want to meet other parents/ have your kiddo play with his daycare friends outside of daycare? if yes and your schedule allows, go. If not, then send your apologies.
You are overthinking this. They invited the whole class because it is a kind thing to do and they probably are open to meeting other families/getting to know the kids better. bday parties were the main way I met most of my mom friends in the early days.
But if you can’t go/ don’t want to go/ your kid doesn’t like the bday kid, just say you can’t make it. It’s fine. It’s all fine.
Anon says
I love how you tell the OP she is overthinking it and then write a 3 paragraph response, haha. The pot calling the kettle black..
anon says
I’ll just throw in – I try to go to parties if we can make it, because I know my kids will have fun and I hate the thought that no one might show up. And if it’s awkward, that’s what your phone is for?
Anon says
i think you are completely overthinking this :-) i think it is nice to attend. to meet the other parents. see the kids your kiddo is talking about etc. it’s only a couple of hours, even if you “regret making an effort,” is it going to be that big of a regret?
Anonymous says
Where it fits in our schedule andif it’s outdoor s, we go, because I find it a good way to make friends for myself. But at that age I don’t stress at all if it doesn’t work for us schedule wise.
Anonymous says
If you want to make friends with other parents, you should try to attend. Otherwise, you can opt out. Your kiddo sees these kids all week: I don’t think birthday party attendance is essential for pre-K development. When I worked, my free time was for family. Now that I’m home, I sometimes opt into birthdays and play dates so I can have some adult interaction. Both are fine.
Anonymous says
Um please go. Your kid will have a ball. We went to two daycare birthdays in one day a couple weeks ago and I think it might have been the best day of DS’s life so far. Cake TWICE. A bouncy slide. Kites. Friends. If you have fun seeing your kid have fun, then you should go.
GCA says
Daycare friends – a million times yes! Best way to meet other working parent friends.
Experience with a public-school-aged kid has been markedly different and somehow it feels much harder to meet working parents. (We moved right before the pandemic the year my oldest started K, and my closest acquaintances at this stage are the parents of kid’s afterschool program friends.) Kid has been invited to a few outdoor birthday gatherings, and either the parents at those are weirdly segregated by gender (to the point that my normally easygoing husband was uncomfortable) or all the other parents have grown up in the area and have existing friend groups.
AIMS says
Curious: are people doing indoor birthday parties for kids again? I’ve been to a whole bunch of outdoor birthdays these past 6 months but both my kids have winter birthdays and I don’t even know what is acceptable anymore. In NYC in a highly vaccinated neighborhood FWIW. I think we will do a small thing for family at our place but curious if I should be trying to plan something for kid friends as well.
Anon says
The only indoor party we’ve been invited to was one where the family rented out a movie theatre and then invited her whole class. No parents just kids. (These were third graders). I was okay with this because i figured the class was together all day anyway. There were asked to wear masks, and I don’t think they had popcorn or anything so the masks stayed on. Hopefully.
Around here i know some of the usual venues are offering birthday parties again (gyms, nature centers, etc.). I think for me it would depend on who and how many people were going to be there and if kids would be asked to keep their masks on and the kind of activities.
Anonymous says
Yes, but mine are older and in school in person (masked). In our town, we have a 95% vaccination rate for eligible people.
We have been invited to a mix of indoor and outdoor parties; all indoor parties at Party Places are masked. My 9 year old’s BFF had a “sleep under” at her house. 5 girls, indoors, no masks. My kiddo had hers at an art studio that required masks inside, but it was a gorgeous day so the kids did everything outside, no masks.
Anon says
My kid turns 5 in February and the only way we’d be doing an indoor party is if vaccines for 2-4yo are approved by early Jan such that all his friends are vaccinated by then.
NYCer says
We are also in NYC and my older daughter has been invited to (and attended) a couple of indoor birthday parties recently. Small groups though (like 5-6 kids), and kids did not wear masks FWIW.
NYCer says
I should add that these are second graders, so mostly 7 year olds.
My 2 year old has still mostly been invited to bday parties in the park with her nanny crew, though there was one indoor bday party in June when cases were very very low at a kids gymnastics type place (adults wore masks, kids did not).
oil in houston says
we’re on the very cautious side of the pandemic parents, and I’m considering an indoor party for my 6-yr old in Ja. My thinking is that by then, all those that want to be vaccinated can do so, including us.
Anon says
i am also in houston and if i do an indoor party, will either still require masks when not actively eating/drinking and/or only invite kids who i know are vaccinated
AIMS says
Thanks all! Appreciate the different responses.
anon says
How do you realistically avoid getting sick when your kids are sick? I think the answer is, you don’t, but just checking in case there’s some magic trick I’m missing. And by ‘realistically’ I mean, don’t tell me the answer is wear a mask around your kids or to wash your hands more or whatever because, despite best intentions, it just never plays out that way. As soon as my hand are washed, the kid wipes snot on my arm or coughs on me and I’m right back where I started.
Can you tell I’m sick and extremely annoyed? :)
Anon says
I hope and pray my mature immune system has seen the bug before so that I either don’t get it or get a milder version of it. Otherwise, I just accept what is coming, which is less great now that I am on an immunosuppressant. My kid (4) is a barnacle and also sleeps with us most nights. I am waiting for the day she is old enough to be “quarantined” in her room and bathroom when she is sick (especially for stomach bugs! I want no part of that! I’m less fussed about upper respiratory stuff).
So Anon says
It gets easier as your kid(s) get older and are more able to engage in self-care. I found a huge turning point when my kids were able to puke into a bucket without my assistance rather than just randomly throw-up wherever they happened to be sitting at the moment. Also, when they can blow/wipe their own noses so you are not in physical contact with those fluids. In general, when they are little, and my 8 year old still falls into this camp, and want to be snuggled, then I’m not sure there is much you can do beyond basic hygiene to keep from getting sick yourself. As I told my boss one day: I’m pretty sure I’m going to get my kid’s cold soon because she just sneezed directly into my open mouth. So gross.
Anonymous says
Wash hands, wipe counters, try really hard not to let sick kid cough on me/breathe on me/put her boogers in my mouth or eyes. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. We’re a family of 5 and I’d say 2-3/5 of us get a cold once it comes into the house but who gets it tends to be a cr@pshoot. My youngest is 3.5 and she tends to get the sickest of us all, likely because she has the weakest immune systems having spent half her live masked / not in daycare due to COVID.
Anonymous says
I do all kinds of homeopathic/natural stuff, not sure how much is effective but…eldeberberry gummies or lozenges, zinc lozenges, zicam nasal swabs (NOT the zinc ones, if those are even still sold, the menthol ones…and must be the swabs, I really dislike the zicam spray), neti pot, xlear nasal spray (you can look up on the interwebs, but they make antiviral claims about xlear versus normal saline spray). Use a humidifier. Stay hydrated. Get enough sleep (hah). Hope you feel better soon.
Anonymous says
It is all about the sleep.
AnonATL says
Commiseration. My kid (15mo) sneezed right in my face last week when he was just starting to show symptoms and here I am with a headache and pouring nose.
Anon says
this is the other way around, but when my kids were babies and i had a cold, i did wear a mask and never got them sick. i find mask wearing easier than the constant hand washing bc as you noted, 5 seconds later its like you might as well have never washed your hands
Anonymous says
When I didn’t get sick, I just assumed it was because it was something I had had before and had antibodies too. It sucks.
TheElms says
I up my own efforts at personal hygiene and my toddler’s efforts. We wash hands in the morning when brushing teeth, again before breakfast, after breakfast, after coming back from a walk, before and after snack, before and lunch, before nap and after nap, before and after dinner, and at bedtime. I also lysol the frequent touch surfaces once a day (more if I remember). It is a huge pain in the butt but usually its only 2-3 days for the worst part of the illness. I also up my fluid intake, and try to get as much rest as possible. But so far neither DH nor I have caught any of the preschool illnesses my kid has picked up. DH will sometimes also wear a mask.
Anonymous says
Not what you wanted but for my 3 year old’s last cold, we did wear masks around him as much as we could for a couple days and we did not get it. We both got the previous cold where we did not wear masks.
Anonymous says
Also zinc lozenges!
CPA Lady says
Kid vaccines! Woohoo!
Kiddo is getting her first dose on Sunday! So excited!!! :)
Anon318 says
I just made an appointment for my oldest – 3 family members down, I just need the next age group to open up to get younger kiddo!
I work in pharma and was discussing my family-specific risk-benefit calculus in deciding to have my son vaccinated with a young, single, childless male colleague this morning. I explained that if one of my children gets sick, the whole family will inevitably be out of work and school for three weeks due to local, school and workplace quarantine rules. He said taking care of kids while working from home under quarantine doesn’t sound so bad. Somehow I avoided committing murder. I know this pandemic has affected everyone globally, but the diversity of experiences still manages to astound me.
Anon says
i literally laughed reading “taking care of kids while working from home under quarantine doesn’t sound so bad”.
Anonymous says
Yeah I mean don’t kids nap a lot anyway?
Boston Legal Eagle says
It took about 15 calls to my ped (their phone line stopped working…), and I got an appointment for my older kid. I’m glad we can look into more indoor activities for him for this winter. Younger one won’t be eligible but he doesn’t do anything beyond daycare anyway.
Anonymous says
PSA to the NYC set that Walgreens and CVS are now making appointments for kids here, and the DOE is planning vaccination clinics at what seems like all elementary schools. Check the DOE Twitter for a link to a page with a listing.
SC says
I just made an appointment to get my booster shot this Saturday, for Kiddo to get his first dose next Friday, and for DH to get his booster with Kiddo. Woohoo!
Anon says
Woohoo! I got both kids an appt in 2 weeks at their pediatrician. (I could have gotten earlier at CVS/ Walgreens – in IL – but didn’t want to pull them out of school since it’s still such a treat that we’re in person.) Both DH and I have our boosters scheduled for later this month.
This means the whole family will be fully vaccinated by Christmas. I’m so happy I could cry. Just the end of two week quarantines for close contact in school will be worth the risk, let alone the possibility of adding indoor sports or the actual disease prevention or mitigation benefits.
EDAnon says
This post reminded me to check for my kid. Our clinic notified us of appointments less than 4 hours ago and they’re already booked out to the end of November!
American Girl says
Is 3 almost 4 too young for an American girl doll? How do they work these days? My sisters and I all had different ones, their books and accessories. Is that still how it works? She loves her baby doll but I think she’s due for an upgrade. The website was a little overwhelming/ confusing. Seems like there are some generic brand clothes that Target sells too?
anon says
I wouldn’t go full-blown American Girl until she’s older and can do a better job taking care of her stuff. Start with the Our Generation brand at Target and see if she’s into dolls until investing a red cent in AG. It is crazy expensive.
Anon says
My 4YO has a bitty baby and adores it, but is not at all into my “antique” doll (Molly). I think you’ve got a few years on that.
Anonymous says
I would say 3 is the very youngest possible audience for a “girl” doll as opposed to a baby doll, and still too young for the main AG line. AG has a line of smaller little girl dolls called “Wellie Wishers” aimed at kids around 4. AG is really about the books and the accessories, which start to have more appeal somewhere between 5 and 7.
Anonymous says
Yes. We got my girls the Target version of the AG doll ($20-30) and then for christmas or their b’day around 5/ kindergarten they got their first actual AG ($100-$120) doll. my oldest turned 6 in Nov of her kindergarten year; she got her doll for Christmas that year. My middle turned 5 in August right before K started in the middle of COVID; she got it then. My youngest turns 5 in April and will get one then.
CPA Lady says
Yes, way too young, at least if you’re talking about the “historical characters” type doll that most of us had in the ’90s. On the AG website, it says ages 8+ for those types of dolls, and I agree with that. Honestly I think its why AG dolls are kind of irrelevant these days, because by the time a kid is old enough to play with them in a way that doesn’t damage them, they are generally too old to want to play with dolls.
Learn from my mistake: I gave my daughter my old Felicity doll and all her stuff and got her another historical doll off e-bay for her 6th birthday, and it was kind of a disaster. Maybe she’s just a bull in a china shop, but within two weeks she had already broken or destroyed three things, so I ended up packing a lot of the stuff back up until she’s a bit older. The accessories are fragile, and it’s hard for kids that age to get the doll’s arms into the clothing, so I was always worried she was going to rip off an arm.
The target Our Generation dolls and their clothes are the same size as AG dolls and clothes. I would definitely suggest getting one of those right now instead. They’re really cute too. I’ve heard some not so great things about the quality of Wellie Wisher dolls. My friend’s kid has two that both lost a leg within the first week.
Anonymous says
FWIW, I “played” with my AG dolls until I was 13-14? I would do their hair, change outfits, sew clothes for them. Yes I grew up slower but I don’t think this is a bad thing. If kids are forced into imaginative play by circumstances (limited tv time and no video games), they play much longer than we think they will.
My 2 cents is yes it’s way too young, my 4.5 yo gets my old dolls because they’re old. The clothes are still in good shape. She’ll get a new one when she’s 6-7 if interested. But she broke Joesphinas leg 3 days after I have it to her haha.
Anonymous says
I got my daughter an Am Girl doll for her 4th birthday because I happened to see one, new in box for $20 at a yard sale! Best score of my life. She was very into the doll and asked for and got a second one (that looks like her) for Christmas when she was 5. I think at age 5 she played with both dolls A LOT. This year, she’s 6 and she’s more into stuffies and video games (pokemon) and books (like where’s waldo). I feel like she’ll come back to the dolls in a another year or two.
anon says
My 3.5 yo son LOVES his Our Generation doll. The little accessories are really cute. He’ll “BBQ” with the doll and its mini BBQ and picnic table for 45 minutes. He’ll get more accessories for Christmas, too. He’s pretty gentle with it actually, and even if they broke something OG is cheap enough I wouldn’t care. #teamboyslikedollstoo!
Highwater says
Are high water pants just in right now? The inseams on so many pants are so short right now, including the ones featured today. I don’t care if it is trendy, I just can’t get behind this. I need pants where I can wear warm shoes/boots and not look ridiculous.
The model here in the photo looks cute, but as soon as they sat down those pants are going to show 4 inches of skin and look like capris. Just no.
anon says
They are, and I haaaate it. I’m of the age where I spent all of high school trying not to have short pants because long inseams were very hard to find. As a result, I have a knee-jerk reaction to wearing anything cropped! Plus it’s unflattering on me and not warm enough.
Highwater says
Same same same
Anonymous says
They seem to be based on what’s for sale and featured on other blogs, but a few articles and comments here over the past couple of weeks have asserted that full-length inseams are coming back.
AwayEmily says
I work on a college campus. It was 40 degrees the other day and all the students wearing jeans had their ankles showing. No wonder so many of them opt for sweatpants instead — it’s the only way they can fashionably stay warm!
(I too hate this look — I refuse to sacrifice my ankle warmth to the gods of fashion)
anonamama says
+1 to the Eileen Fisher crepe pants. Wardrobe staple.
This is popping up a bit in earlier threads – but looking for some insight into arranging breakfast room (off kitchen, very frequently used.) We have high windows and a high top table/chairs. LO is 2, ok in high chair, but better in booster. Is there no hope for me to keep the high-top table once he’s done with the high chair? He’s a little squirmy in it now, so how much longer do I have? Still hopeful to have another baby, too. Any workarounds for a high top table, or do I just go low now and hope to bring it back when kid(s) are older? WWYD?
CCLA says
I’d imagine you could put a booster seat on one of the chairs for the high top, but the bigger issue for me would be the independence that is coming soon. I’d think with a high top + booster, your kid would need assistance climbing in and out for the next couple of years and that’s just not something I’d want to sign up for when they could be entering and exiting the chair on their own. I’d go low and revisit the high top when the youngest is able to safely climb in and out of the chair situation.
Ugh says
Vent: My company, which rightfully pats itself on the back for Doing Good and being Progressive and Family Friendly, just announced we all are required to be back in the office 3 days a week starting next week. Because some people had been in the office one day a week to-date, we should be all set with our logistics (paraphrasing from the HR chief) and apparently don’t need more notice than that. Also, the CEO defended his decision that “it’s time to go back to work” with a bunch of hypothetical examples of people growing their careers by being noticed for doing good work because they were literally visible to higher-ups, exclusively using male pronouns. Fully-remote jobs are easy to come by in my field (technology). 25% of my dept left in the three months since the one-day-a-week suggestion was announced, and this will probably shove another 25% out the door. I might be one of them. and I just cried angry tears on a call with my supervisor, and today sucks. /rant
Anonymous says
I’m sorry. Voting with your feet is all you can do. I agree it’s REALLY aggravating to have higher-ups constantly say “but being in the office leads to collaboration” and “those water cooler moments are valuable” with absolutely zero evidence. There’s also absolutely zero acknowledgment that many workers find WFH valuable.
octagon says
Next week? Whoa, I would be so angry. I’m sorry.
Was your supervisor supportive at all? Is there any flexibility at all? Companies are being so short-sighted on this for little benefit.
Anonymous says
I mean, if you prefer to work fully remote, then I can see why you’d be upset. But logistically, I think most people are in a place to go back in 60% at this point. Last year it would have been more difficult, but don’t most people have fulltime childcare at this point whether they’re in-person or remote?
Anonymous says
Yes, but it isn’t quite that easy. For example, DH is WFH still. He works 8:30-5:30 uninterrupted. He gets up at 6, gets all the kids up dressed and out the door to school/bus and walks our youngest to preschool and is home butt in seat at 8:30. He makes dinner starting at 5:30 and we all eat at 6. He takes one kid to soccer at 6:30.
Going into the office means leaving the house at 7:30 and not getting home until 6:30. We don’t have childcare 7:30-8:30 or 5:30-6:30 right now.
Anon says
people might have different childcare arrangements for different days of the week factoring in the fact they don’t have to commute. a lot of daycares still aren’t back to regular hours, so maybe grandma can pick kiddo up on that one day, or DH can, but can’t do every day or two additional days. also, the OP notes that “some people” are already back in 1 day a week, if it is only some and not all, then that isn’t true. or maybe the electrician is scheduled to come one day next week. if this was announced today and they want people back on monday, i do not think that is enough notice. also, i despise the phrase “it’s time to get back to work” — i wish i was sitting at home all day watching tv, oh, but wait i am working.
octagon says
Yep. We have aftercare that ends at 5 right now. It’s 3 minutes from home so easy for me to hop in the car and get kiddo right at 5. If I have to do that from work, I need to leave by 4:10 at the latest, and probably by 4. Which means I need to be in by 7:30. Which means I need to leave the house by 6:50.
Presently I work solidly from 8a-5p (and usually another hour in the evenings) because that’s what aligns with my child care without a commute to the office. In normal times, school offers beforecare starting at 7 and aftercare until 6, but they aren’t offering the full hours right now. Not to mention that it’s far better for my kid, and my family, for kiddo to not be at school for 11 hours straight.
Single Parent says
This is me this year. Last year was WFH so I dropped off kid at school by 8:15, took a walk and got a coffee, and was home at my desk by 8:30. Then I left my house/desk at 5:20, got kid at 5:30 and we had a nice evening. This year, I drop my kid off by 8:15, get to the office around 9:20, then leave by 4:40 to get kid around 5:45 and have a much more rushed evening. My job requires me to be in person some times, and I managed that fine last year, but this week I have 0 in person meetings/events, so why am I sitting in my office right now? No one has “popped in” to chat with me all week — I’ve only spoken to people on the phone/video.
anon says
Agree with the replies above. It’s also not just logisitics. It’s also having time to adjust the family in general. If your kids are watched IN the home, and now all of sudden mom’s not there, it could be a tough one for kids. I’d be really upset in OP’s shoes. In fact, when my work tried this (small firm) several of us called the other partner and said we would do what’s required but not in a one-week time frame. Eventually, we just downsized the office and I’m still WFH. (There’s some downsides, but I’m realizing now just how much I save – no buying new work clothes, less “special” wash/drycleaning, way less makeup, way less gas, laundry or dishes pile-ups are no longer this huge stressor because I can sometimes do stuff during lunch, I get to take breaks and hug my kids on the day they are watched at home by grandma, etc. etc. If I had to give it up on a one-week notice I’d be pissed too OP.)
Ugh says
It’s all of this. My kids are school age, so I do have full time childcare, but our after school activities are scheduled on the premise that I’m in the house and able to either be the responsible adult when DH leaves with one kid, or that I don’t need to factor in commute and can just log off and hop in the car at 5:00. We’ve divided our drop-off/pick-up responsibility based on me WFH, so DH will need to adjust his work schedule too. There are just some wheels that need to be put in motion and some adjustments that it would have been nice to have more than 5 days of lead time. And like 2:32 said, CEO’s wording implying that no one’s been working while we’re at home is insulting AF.
Anon says
at this point i honestly dont understad why they cant wait until january or until at least after thanksgiving
So Anon says
No, many people do not have fulltime childcare at this point. In my area, childcare openings are limited. We have all learned to get by under the current situation, but that does not mean that we can drop the current set-up and return to office on less than 5 days’ notice. I think part of what is incredibly irritating about this type of approach (return to office next week) is that it presumes that office workers do not have caretaking responsibilities. It feels like it is, once again, on the parents to figure out how to adapt when that is exactly what has been breaking us for the last 18+ months.
Also, my oldest is at an age where I can work very easily with him home but I would not be comfortable leaving him alone in the house for the 2-3 hours that I need to work between when he gets home and I would get home if I had to commute home 45 minutes.
CCLA says
Anyone here have experience with feeding therapy (specifically we are doing SOS) for kids? Our 5yo has gone from picky to problem and the list of things she will eat is so small. We started a couple of weeks ago at a center and they told us to prepare for at least 6 months of weekly visits to see progress. We understand it will take time. Just wondering if anyone has experience they can share!
anon says
I’m sorry if you’ve already know about this or had it suggested, but Feeding Littles (website and IG) make feeding therapy seem so positive and I honestly really like enjoy their IG most of the time. It’s really understanding about kids being picky, and why. I don’t follow all of the advice, but a lot of it has helped our family and some of the small tips really add up over time. It’s changed how I view food for myself, too. Good luck!
Anon says
A friend’s kid did this, and they said it was life changing. Prior to therapy, he would only eat 4 foods (all white/yellow). My understanding is that he is still a somewhat picky eater, and it is improving. They also identified he had some sensory issues that they are working on. Caveat is that the mom is a SAH mom, so she had time to take him to therapy once a week.
CCLA says
I know this is one anecdote but still encouraging to hear (esp that it was once a week, I am skeptical whether that will be often enough), thanks for sharing. Neither of us is a SAHP so it’s definitely throwing a wrench in schedules but we’re going to make it work. To prior poster, thanks and yes we follow feeding littles and kids eat in color but our daughter has gotten to the point where it’s beyond what that alone can tackle. Hoping SOS helps!
Anon says
My 2 year old (26 months) won’t sleep. He’s given up on napping at home and it’s a struggle to get him to go to bed a night. Any tips to get him to accept that he need to sleep? Do you lock them in their room? He is clearly very tired but wants to run around and play.
Anonymous says
How long does he nap at daycare? If mine napped longer than an hour they didn’t sleep at night. Try a warm bath before bed and really consistent routine around bedtime. You can’t force him to sleep but it will happen if you insist he stay in bed, so just really consistent with the returning him to bed in a calm and consistent way every single time he gets up.
anonamama says
I just went through this after LO was waking kids up at daycare during naptime. Max total sleep for this age is 11-14 hrs, nighttime + naps. We drew a harder line at bedtime, added in a toddler bedtime yoga book to get some wiggles out, capped the amount of books and turned the light out when we said we would. Taking Cara Babies has a good highlight on IG about toddler bedtime. We cap his nighttime sleep so there’s still room for a nap at school. It takes some legwork but worth it for everyone’s sleep sake!
Anon says
My kids were always on the lower end of the sleep needs. A few things that helped, although what actually helped depended on the weather and the time of year and the position of the planets relative to the price of soybeans or something.
– Ask the daycare teachers to allow him to read quietly at nap time. Let his body rest but not completely ruin bedtime.
– Immediately after we get home, some kind of whole-body physical activity. Riding scooters in the driveway, dance party with Alexa, build an obstacle course with couch cushions.
– Warm bath and warm milk before bed, plus a spoonful of peanut butter before toothbrush time. Fill up the tummy to keep them sleeping.
– Somewhat unintuitive, but after bath and before books, we’d have “pattern time”. We’d do some kind of rhythm pattern and they would try to repeat it across the bedroom. So like, clap clap step. Clap clap step. Or punch kick jump. Punch kick jump. They’d get to do three of our patterns, then make up one of their own, then we’d settle into bed for a book. I think the movement and concentration would help get that last little bit of energy out before bed.
Anon says
By read, I mean “read”, aka look at pictures in a book. Should have clarified that. I do not have any of those gifted children who is reading at age two and ready to skip three grades by kindergarten.