My son is my mother-in-law’s fifth grandchild, so she is an expert on knowing which toys will be hits for toddlers. She brought over this toy when my son was still a baby, and he’s loved it ever since. Full disclosure that now he’s a toddler, not too much holds his attention for an extended period of time, but he still goes to this toy again and again. The colors are vibrant, and it’s helped him with his hand-eye coordination. He loves watching the shapes spin down the pole, but even more, he so loves to turn it upside down and watch as they quickly fly off. Now that he’s mastered the sturdy base, I’ll flip it over to the wobbly side to challenge him some more. This toy is $29.95 at Amazon (eligible for Prime) and is made by Fat Brain Toys. Spinagain Toy
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Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 9:54 amHey just wanted to circle back, I posted about disliking the term “solo parenting “ yesterday and wanted to say that I really appreciated everyone’s thoughtful comments about it! I still don’t love it but also I do know that people aren’t trying to do harm with it and can see how it feels useful. Really thankful to have such a thoughtful group of women to engage in the hard discussions together.
I just read yesterday's thread says
12/07/2018 at 10:12 amPersonally I hate the term “circle back” so maybe you could reconsider using it. Then I’ll reconsider using “solo parenting.”
Anon says
12/07/2018 at 10:16 amBahahahahaha. I also hate the term “circle back” and pretty much all other business-ese.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 10:27 amOMG yes. I cannot stand
circle back
inflection point
senior leaders
individual (the correct term is “person” unless you are specifically distinguishing an individual from a group; “individual” is what scientists use to describe animals they are observing)
sea change
role (when used in place of “job” or “position”; the word “role” describes a function–e.g., “my role in this project is …”)
anon says
12/07/2018 at 10:37 amI’ll add one to the pile: utilize. Use “use”!
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 10:54 amYes to all of these. But one that hasn’t been mentioned, yet:
“Reach out” is my business-ese pet peeve.
Artemis says
12/07/2018 at 11:03 am+1 million. I loathe the word “utilize” with the power of a thousand suns. #1 language pet peeve. So silly, but true.
Anon says
12/07/2018 at 11:05 amYAAAAAS to utilize!
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 1:33 pmFrom the academic world: “ways in which”
Completely unnecessary.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 2:01 pmlol, I noticed this in the “Witch, Please” progress, which is hosted by 2 academics and otherwise delightful. At some point several episodes in, I picked up on the EXCESSIVE use of “ways in which” and couldn’t unhear it as a potential drinking game during which I’d get plastered.
Anonanonanon says
12/07/2018 at 2:46 pmI just used “touch base” which I think I probably overuse…
Just had to circle back to remind you to reach out and touch base with our colleague who wants to utilize…. just kidding.
farrleybear says
12/07/2018 at 10:00 pmAdd “connect with” to the list….
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 10:26 amThis seems really mean as a response to a nice comment.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 10:29 amI actually suspect that OP was trying to stir the pot again.
anon says
12/07/2018 at 10:31 am+1. I pushed back yesterday on the “solo parenting” issue, but I appreciate this gracious sign-off on the issue.
SC says
12/07/2018 at 10:36 am+1. I pushed back yesterday too, but, this level of snark seems mean.
Mama Llama says
12/07/2018 at 1:43 pmThis is really gracious of you – thanks for posting.
AwayEmily says
12/07/2018 at 10:09 amThanks for following up. I didn’t post yesterday but I am someone who has often used that term when my husband is gone for multiple days and my initial reaction was to be defensive about it. But given that the term makes you (and I assume others!) uncomfortable, I can make the switch to “parenting alone” or “on my own with the kids.” As I often tell my toddler, it doesn’t matter if your INTENTIONS are benign; if you say something that hurts someone then apologize and try to change. So, I’m sorry and I will switch it up!
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 10:24 amI don’t think you need to change your language. The consensus yesterday was that “solo parenting” is an appropriate, non-offensive term, and OP was being aggressively oversensitive. Just don’t say “I’m a single parent for half an hour today while my husband is at the grocery store,” and you’re fine.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 10:31 amThanks! And really no need to be too sorry. In the big picture it’s a little thing. I truly appreciate the consideration and in turn promise I will assume good intentions.
anon says
12/07/2018 at 10:16 amHi! I need to get gifts for three girls – ages 2, 5, and 8 (sisters). I was thinking about getting them matching monogramed robes, but I realized that those may not be super fun for them to open. The 8 year old is into Harry Potter, the 5 year old is a germaphobe, that’s all I know. Help! budget is 20-30$ each.
anon says
12/07/2018 at 10:20 amIf you want to get something particularly “fun” I’d ask the parents what the desired toy of the month is.
Mrs. Jones says
12/07/2018 at 10:24 amTarget has Harry Potter pajamas for kids (and adults–ask me how I know)
Spirograph says
12/07/2018 at 10:59 amI don’t know about these not being fun to open, especially if they have pictures, characters, or are in fun colors. My kids love robes, and matching with each other.
I remember getting towels for Christmas one year when I was a kid, and even that was fun. Sibs and I flew around the room with them as capes… it really doesn’t take much to amuse kids.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 11:00 amI have a 2 and 5 year old girl. If it has unicorns, sequins or Moana, they are super into it. Older one likes Legos (she is fine with the 6-10 age ones), crafts, Barbie.
FWIW all 3 of my kids have bathrobes so you may want to check. And if they’re monogrammed they are sucky hand me downs which may or may not matter to you… you might be better off doing matching PJS (unicorn ones at target are 30% off today!) and a book for each?
GCA says
12/07/2018 at 11:19 am+1, mermaid sequins and Moana are just popular, period. What about matching sequin shirts for all 3? My son would lose his mind if I ever managed to find him a purple, boy-cut (as in no cap sleeves – ‘they’re itchy’), sequin shirt with dinosaurs on it (alas, such a thing doesn’t seem to exist). Or go to Target and see what you can get around a theme for each one (eg. dinosaurs for the 2yo, space for the 5yo, Harry Potter for the 8yo).
JTX says
12/07/2018 at 4:13 pmGCA: There is a sequined dinosaur shirt available at H&M! It’s not purple, but he might like it. I will link in another comment.
JTX says
12/07/2018 at 4:16 pmApparently there are four sequined dinosaur options at H&M, ha!
https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0666327001.html
https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0666327010.html
https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0672016002.html
https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0687411010.html
rosie says
12/07/2018 at 11:08 amOn that note, nice robe suggestions that are young-toddler sized? Where were you going to get one for the 2-yo?
Anon in NYC says
12/07/2018 at 11:18 amOn Target’s website, look up “Cat and Jack sequin sweatshirt” (item # 032-02-7208). I just purchased my kid this sweatshirt and she looooooves it.
EB0220 says
12/07/2018 at 2:05 pmMy 4.5 and 6 (almost 7) year olds wear their bathrobes constantly around the house (and love matching too). So unless the 8 year old is too cool now I think they’d like it.
avocado says
12/07/2018 at 2:43 pmMine is almost 12 and still loves her monogrammed bathrobe. Not sure she’d like matching with a little sibling, though. Different colors might be a good idea.
anon says
12/07/2018 at 10:26 amI feel like I or my caregiver are living at the doctor right now. DD finished a round of antibiotics Sunday, complained about her ears Sunday night, was diagnosed with a double ear infection Monday. DS went to the doctor Tuesday where he got a good report (!) but he finished up his round of antibiotics yesterday and woke up running a 101 degree fever today. They’d both been to the doctor a couple weeks previously, hence the antibiotics. I don’t want to ignore his symptoms but at this point I’m ready to just watch movies all weekend and throw in the towel.
I’d like them to be healthy for the holidays though! Agh. Also it’s impossible to get into our pediatricians office. So there are never convenient times and weekend is generally out. Ugh. I think this was just a vent?
anon says
12/07/2018 at 10:32 amMight be time to switch pediatricians. I have changed PCPs before when I can’t get in for sick appointments. A good annual is great and all, but when I really need to see someone make it possible for me to see at least a PA or NP.
anon says
12/07/2018 at 10:33 amAlso–sorry you’re dealing with sick kids. Not fun. Couch time sounds like it probably is in order for the weekend!
AwayEmily says
12/07/2018 at 11:08 amAgreed on this — we switched pediatricians for this reason. I feel like you should consistently be able to get a sick visit day-of.
Anon says
12/07/2018 at 11:41 am+1. One of the reasons I love my family practice (with a pediatrician on staff). They are always able to see us same day for sick visits (kiddos and adults alike – although for sick visits kiddo doesn’t always see her ped but usually one of the NPs and I’m OK with that) and have extended hours during the week (open until 6:30, ahhhmazing).
Pogo says
12/07/2018 at 1:31 pmDepends on what you consider convenient. If I call at night/early morning and leave a message and they get back to me within an hour of opening w/ a same day appointment, to me that’s the best they can do. It’s not necessarily “convenient” for me to run out for 1.5 hours to take LO to the appointment, but if it means nipping an illness in the bud rather than it turning into something worse, I’ll take it.
If they aren’t able to respond in the way I described, I would switch, because I think that you can do better.
OP says
12/07/2018 at 3:38 pmWell update, I managed to get into a cancelled spot and he doesn’t have an ear infection! This felt like a win. He does have a virus that was described as contagious so we might have a quiet weekend at home. And keep fingers crossed everyone else doesn’t get it.
I think my vent earlier was the amount of time I’ve spent out of work this week at doctors. Sadly, sick kids are never convenient, but hopefully people won’t hold it against me!
Biting says
12/07/2018 at 10:51 amAm I overreacting? My kid has come home with bite marks twice in the past week – once last Friday and once yesterday. Neither time has the teacher noticed that she was bitten during the day, and reports that she didn’t cry out. This is not like my kid at all to not cry if something has happened to her. So does this mean that my kid is crying out all the time and the teacher is immune to it now? Or what is happening? But when I talked to her and the Assistant Director they haven’t come up with a new approach to try and prevent the biting other than ‘watch carefully’ which presumably is already happening and doesn’t seem like it will solve anything. I understand biting is a normal part of toddler development, but I also want there to be a plan in place like add another teacher during transitions or shadow when my kid plays with the biter (but also, how do we know what the right approach is if the teacher doesn’t know how/when the bites are happening). I don’t live in an area where we can easily move her to a new program so I guess I’m wondering if I need to be calling around now? It isn’t so much the two bites that concern me but the general lack of notice of the bites by the teacher and accompanying inability to help prevent more bites in the future.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 11:06 amIn your situation I’d probably just be relieved that my child was the bitee and not the biter.
Anon in NYC says
12/07/2018 at 11:25 amI think you need to give it a little more time and understand that “watch carefully” is basically the best strategy right now unless or until the biter won’t stop biting. My kid was a biter and she often bit the same kid. In that respect, the fact that she bit the same kid was helpful because her teachers were able to watch their specific interactions more closely and figure out what sort of situations prompted the biting. In my daughter’s case, this kid would often invade her space or do things like try to take her food. So they learned to keep them separated when my daughter was eating or to let them play together but watch them a little more closely during that time. They knew that my daughter would eventually grow out of biting.
I have a friend whose kid wouldn’t stop biting and they eventually were asked to leave their daycare center. There are strategies in place for chronic biters, but this doesn’t seem like it has reached that level.
Anon in NYC says
12/07/2018 at 11:28 amI will also add that even when the teachers were closely watching my kid and the bitee, sometimes they couldn’t get to them in time to prevent a bite. Whether it’s because they were across the room, changing a diaper, fixing bottles for another kid, feeding another kid solids, etc.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 11:34 amBut they don’t know who is doing the biting, or when it’s happening. They don’t seem to notice that my kid is being bitten until I say “hey where did this bite mark come from”. That’s the part that I am getting hung up on. How can they watch extra carefully, or during triggering times or when she is playing with the biter if they don’t know any of the context?
Anon in NYC says
12/07/2018 at 11:47 amI think you can definitely raise it with the Assistant Director again, and express those concerns. But I don’t know that at this stage there will be any better strategy than watch carefully. I wouldn’t assume that the teachers are lying about your daughter not crying out. But if you’re concerned that the teachers are not watching the kids generally, say something.
Anonanonanon says
12/07/2018 at 12:01 pmI completely understand your concern. While bites happen, I would be uneasy that my child was bitten (hard enough to have marks at the end of the day) and they can’t explain when it’s happening. I would speak to them again and frame it as “I understand bites happen and that there are strategies in place to deal with this, however my primary concern is that my daughter is getting repeatedly injured with lasting marks-regardless of the cause-and no staff are able to identify how or when it happens.”
octagon says
12/07/2018 at 12:14 pmFirst, are you sure that another kid is doing the biting? (I say this after a friend was perplexed but finally realized her daughter was biting her own arm to see the marks it made… kids are weird.)
I think that their strategy of watch closely is generally appropriate, but also you can work with your daughter to speak up when someone bites her, to draw attention to it. Practice “DON’T BITE ME!” or “NO BITING!” with her so that she can alert a teacher in the moment.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 12:22 pm+1 to all of this
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 12:22 pmOne bite was on her face, so yeah it couldn’t have been her. And I can tell because the bite marks have more teeth than my daughter has.
She’s only 13 months so verbalizing any of this is a challenge. The kids in her room range from maybe 10-16 months? So everyone doesn’t really talk, which obviously contributes to why kids bite – no other way to communicate what they need.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 2:01 pmI tried to respond to this but it disappeared into the internet. I can tell based on the teeth pattern that this isn’t her biting herself. She’s only 13 months old so the number of teeth is a giveaway. Likewise, she can’t talk to report biting but I can at least work on saying ‘NO’ to probably mixed results at best. All of the kids in her room are very young toddlers or older infants, so communication struggles are certainly contributing to why they bite!
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 10:56 amI collected money from the other parents at daycare for 2 teachers and 2 aides. The plan is to gift cash.
$50 to each assistant/floater and I have $325 for each teacher and $10 left over. Any ideas on some small token gift (not a mug full of candy or a candle- but something like that) to go with the gifts in the ~$5 range?
AwayEmily says
12/07/2018 at 11:10 amGood on you for giving them cash. I’d go with something edible — a fancy chocolate bar, a box of candy, etc. That way even if they don’t like it they can give it to a friend or family member and don’t have to deal with more stuff cluttering up their home.
Anon says
12/07/2018 at 12:16 pmSomething from the Target dollar spot – they had sparkly wine glasses when I looked. Also, since it’s obviously from target, they can always take it back for store credit.
Home Sick says
12/07/2018 at 10:58 amWhen you are sick, do you take your kids to daycare? FTM here and I’m home sick along with an infant who feels fine. I felt guilty sending him to daycare when I was home, but now I’m wondering if that was a mistake.
anon says
12/07/2018 at 11:02 amYES! For sure! Or else I’d never get better!
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 11:05 amYES to day care!!! Why would a kid want to stay home with a miserable sick parent who just wants to be left alone, when he could go to day care and have fun with his teachers and friends?
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 11:06 amSend him to daycare and get some rest!
Anon says
12/07/2018 at 11:07 amFor sure!
AwayEmily says
12/07/2018 at 11:11 amYES definitely send him.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 11:12 amDefinitely! My kids go to daycare basically every day it’s open, unless they’re sick or we’re on vacation.
For example, both parents had Wednesday off (yay for living in DC) but the toddlers went to daycare and we got a free day to do things without kids in tow. The first time we did this I felt kind of guilty, but I’m a better parent for occasionally having some time to myself and that is extra true when sick!
Anon says
12/07/2018 at 11:16 amOk thanks all! It’s too late now as DH is gone and I’m too sick to take him myself. But next time I will send him!
Mrs. Jones says
12/07/2018 at 11:21 amOf course. I take full advantage of paid child care whether sick or not.
ElisaR says
12/07/2018 at 11:28 amI absolutely would send them to daycare! That’s one good thing about being a working mom…. SAHMs can’t do that.
Spirograph says
12/07/2018 at 11:29 amWhat? of course I take them to daycare! Sick days are for me to rest and recuperate, which I cannot do if I’m caring for kids. Also, in general, days when I’m at home and my 3 kids are at school/daycare are a little slice of heaven, because peace and quiet is a luxury that doesn’t exist in my day to day life…. I probably did the same thing when my first was a baby though. :) Get well soon!
Home sick says
12/07/2018 at 1:48 pmThank you for the reality check! We are only a couple weeks into the daycare thing, and I’m so deep in new-mom guilt that I needed to hear this. Next time I will take him!
Pogo says
12/07/2018 at 1:33 pmomg, yes! of course they go to daycare!! You need to SLEEP!
Anonanonanon says
12/07/2018 at 2:12 pmYes, to daycare! My rationale is if I’m well enough to parent I’m well enough to be at work. I know it feels icky at first, but honestly they’re much happier at daycare with people actively engaging and getting to stick to their routine rather than stuck at home while you just try to survive the day with them.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 2:46 pmYep, especially as they get older they’ll prefer to stay at daycare with their routine and fun activities. At 2, my twins get really excited when I show up at the end of the day, but once they give me a hug they want to go back to their fun daycare toys.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 12:12 pmThe husband and I are getting away from the kids with a week in Tulum this February! Any recommendations for where to stay or what to do? We are lookign for a mix of lounging on the beach and maybe a day or two of outdoor or sightseeing adventures. Our ideal lodging budget would be $150-200 per night, but we don’t get away without the kids often, so if that will have us in a dirty apartment miles from the beach and we should really spend more to be somewhere else, chime in! Also, we are flying out of Cancun, and assume that Tulum is where we want to be for beautiful, less crowded beaches, but if you have other alternatives close to Cancun, we’d be interest in those as well. The only thing set in stone so far is the flights.
Oh, and no kid-friendly places, we love kids but this trip is about getting away from them ;)
Thanks all.
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 12:55 pmReturning to work in 1.5 weeks after maternity leave. My regular wardrobe doesn’t fit with the exception of one pair of black pants and a couple drapey tops. What three specific under $50 tops would you buy? Last time I wore a lot of dresses, but (a) for this (different) workplace I usually prefer pants and (b) dresses are actually less flattering in the stomach, albeit more comfortable. I interact with dozens of people every day and for various reasons my goal is to minimize stomach (without getting into debate about acceptance of postpartum bodies). I’m pretty tall so most tunic type tops are a weird length/hit right at the fullest part of the stomach, and have broad shoulders and small bust. Don’t need anything pumping friendly but do need machine washable and ideally natural fibers or at least not poly crepe. TIA!
Anonanonanon says
12/07/2018 at 1:18 pmI utilized the Ann Taylor Infinte Style rental service for my post-partum return to work wardrobe for a bit. I could experiment with different styles, and kept a couple of the pieces (you can buy them for like 70% off) that were cheap and fit at the time (now they’re too big and I don’t feel like I wasted money).
I have a small bust too, so I wore a padded bra during this period. It just helped to not feel like my stomach was sticking out further than my chest. If you’re looking to purchase something, I’d recommend some sized-up button up shirts (banana republic is 40% off right now, as is Ann Taylor) and wear them under a blazer, maybe with some statement necklaces. That should create enough visual to prevent anyone from looking at your stomach unless they’re absolutely determined to intentionally do so. If you eventually find they’re a little baggy, they can be worn on the weekend with cuffed skinny jeans and cute flats instead of for work :)
IHeartBacon says
12/07/2018 at 2:18 pmI second the recommendation for Ann Taylor Infinite Style. The service doesn’t offer as many bottoms as they offer blouses and sweaters, so you may need to find a well-fitting pair of pants to get you through the current phase.
Anonanonanon says
12/07/2018 at 1:11 pmI FINALLY ordered the J Crew Factory wool pencil skirts I have heard so much about on these boards. They were recommended when I lamented being a pear and unable to wear pencil skirts.
I ordered them, assuming I’d have to have them tailored, and surprisingly they fit! I did order one size up from my pants size (I didn’t want to look too bootylicious). They are much more flattering than most pencil skirts are on my pear-shaped form. I think because the bottom doesn’t cut inward as much, if that makes sense?
Anyway, they were on sale for around $25 so I got a green and a black. No input on how well they hold up or clean, but I can report the fit is good!!
Anonymous says
12/07/2018 at 1:18 pmI was in your exact shoes three months ago. This is a little out of your budget, but the Everlane Go Weave Back Zip top is AMAZING for this. I bought three and wear them all the time. The material is substantial enough that it just falls, does not cling. I am tall (and long-torsoed), broad shoulders, significant pooch, and this was my magic bullet.
https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-japanese-goweave-back-zip-tee-white