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I’ve been swapping my heels for loafers. If you need a go-with-anything option, this pair from Vince looks like a solid choice.
This rounded-toe loafer is made from soft leather or suede and has a flexible, cushioned sole for all-day comfort. These jill-of-all-trade shoes will work with a suit as well as cropped jeans. The comments mention they run large/wide, so consider sizing down if you have narrow feet.
The Sloan Loafer is $250 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 5–10. It’s available in three neutral hues.
Sales of note for 7.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale has begun! Here are all of our picks.
- Ann Taylor – Semi-Annual Sale! (Ends 7/12)
- Athleta – Extra 30% off semi-annual sale (ends 7/10)
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 20% off your purchase
- Boden – 10% off new women’s styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale
- Everlane – Up to 70% off
- J.Crew – End of Season Sale, up to 60% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 60% off sale styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off
- Loft – 50% off tops
- Madewell – End of season sale, up to 70% off with code.
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide. (Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this is the biggest sitewide discount I’ve ever seen…)
- NET-A-PORTER – Up to 60% off sale styles
- Rothy’s – Lots of great finds in the “final few” section
- Sephora – 25% off a ton of shampoos and conditioners (ends 7/10)
- Talbots – Semi-annual Red Door Sale, extra 40% off markdowns
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything plus extra 15% off purchase
- Eloquii – Semi-annual clearance, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off warm-weather styles; extra 50% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 50% off your order
- Loft – $39 dresses and 40% off your purchase (ends 6/26)
- Talbots – 30% off all markdowns, summer favorites starting at $24.50 (ends 6/25)
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Summer clearance up to 70% off; 50% off tops, shorts & more
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all dresses; up to 50% off all baby items
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 50% off warm-weather styles; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50% off all polos; 60% off steals
- Target – 20% off women’s swim; 50% off patio furniture, garden items & accessories; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
Anon says
This had me totally fired up on Friday, and I’m gut checking here. My son goes to a weekly OT appointment. Not sure if this is relevant, but the OT is paid through insurance, and insurance is billed after the appointment. The cancellation policy is that you get 1 “free” cancellation every six months. After you use this cancellation freebie, you pay a $100 cancellation fee that obviously insurance will not pay for any missed appointment. You don’t have to pay the fee if you reschedule, but you cannot reschedule for your regular appointment slot.
We spend most of July and August at my parent’s home in another state. I reached out to the office to let them know we will not be attending sessions in July and August, and they told me that to keep my appointment slot, I have to pay $100 for each missed appointment, which ends up being around $600. This is…bananas right? I’m giving them like 6 weeks notice, and they cannot take the appointments off the calendar for the months of July and August, then put the appointments back on the therapist’s calendar in September? I’m legit baffled that there is no flexibility here. I’m going to end up just cancelling services in July (and I had to pull back the trigger of walking away on Friday), but man, it took forever to get this slot and I want to freaking cry.
Anonymous says
That is absolutely insane and wrong. A cancellation fee should only be charged if you cancel very late, like within 48 hours of the appointment, or don’t show up. They are capitalizing on the scarcity of services to wring money out of parents outside of insurance.
Anon says
I would be annoyed too but unless the cancellation policy explicitly says that it applies to cancellation with less than X weeks notice, I can see their argument of how this applies. What’s weirder to me is that you lose that slot in September on, which would irritate me more than the fee probably. Unfortunately this feels like one of those professions that is in such short supply vs. high demand that they can do this, as annoying as it is.
Anon says
This is what is wild to me — there is no exception to the cancellation policy, whether you cancel with no notice or 6 weeks’ notice. I get charging a fee if you no-show or don’t give 24 hours notice or whatever — but to have NO flexibility under any conditions for a cancellation when you are out of town and have given tons of notice is just wildly unfair to me.
Also, yeah, I either keep my spot to resume in September, and pay for each missed appointment in July and August, or I cancel all together and lose my spot. I’m so frustrated here.
Cb says
It is crazy. Can you escalate and see if an exception can be made?
Anon says
I completely understand your annoyance and frustration! That being said- I feel like it’s pretty standard in lots of service industries. I can’t speak to occupational therapy- but I can’t pause and resume daycare, housecleaners etc. they’re basically guaranteeing them a weekly appointment time indefinitely- so can’t/won’t offer someone else that spot for short period of time. Can they do virtual therapy? Understandably not ideal at all but maybe better than $600 or canceling?
CCLA says
Yeah, as annoying as it is, this feels pretty standard for when you want to maintain your assigned slot time for a high demand service. When we had one of ours in OT the center had a policy that was slightly more flex in the summer, but still worked out to something like one free cancellation per month.
NYCer says
+1. I know nothing about OT regular practices, but I am actually not surprised by this policy.
Anonymous says
As someone who has been waiting for over a year for OT for my kid, yeah, I kinda get it. They know how scare their availability is so they can do this. It’s obnoxious tho.
Anon says
It’s very common in my area for kids to drop OT for the summer because kids’ schedules typically change over the summer and because if a child is getting OT paid for by the state, the state generally only pays for services during the school year (some kids get it all year, but most don’t qualify for that level of services). I would ask to speak to whoever is in charge and see if they can make an exception for you. If they’re busy, they can book someone else at this time and shouldn’t charge you. If they’re not busy bc some kids drop OT for the summer, then they shouldn’t have a policy like this.
Anon says
I can kind of see their point, that if they start a new patient in your slot for the summer, that patient will likely expect to continue on with that slot. That may just be how they run their business. But I would also think they would make more money opening those slots, rather than just taking a $100 cancellation fee, and allow them to be used for makeup appts. Though now that I type that, I bet they’ll take your $100 AND open them for makeups, which is the best of both worlds for them.
Anonymous says
That is absolutely what they are doing–taking OP’s cancellation fee and giving the slot to someone else.
Anonymous says
I mean yes obviously? They aren’t going to take another patient into that timeslot and kick them out to accommodate you in September, and I can’t understand why you think they would.
Anon says
These reductive comments are my favorite. They typically show up 3/4 s of the way into a chain that has nuance and several differing takes on an issue, the first phrase is punctuated with a question mark, and the rest of the comment is designed to make the OP feel silly and stupid for posting her take on an issue…..
……despite the numerous differing takes from other posters above the comment :)…
Stay snarky and right, Reductive Poster! I can just SEE your brow furrowed in mock surprise at how OP might have felt this was a rigid and unfair policy, despite many other posters chiming in with agreement or a different take on the same policy!!
Anon says
I hate that kind of post too. It doesn’t belong on this page.
Anon says
I’m going to validate that it’s annoying – it totally is. But it’s the only way to keep the spot when every kid is getting pushed into OT and waitlists are crazy. I’m sorry!
Anon says
That is bonkers. I’ve seen two different OTs plus various other doctors and dentists. This cancellation policy is crazy.
Anony says
I don’t think you can compare doctors and dentists to this situation. Generally speaking, someone does not see a dentist for a weekly appointment for an indefinite period of time. This therapist is essentially saving the spot for OP’s kid. If the therapist takes on someone new on Fridays at 3:30 pm (let’s say that is when OP’s appointment usually takes place) for the summer, then that person will reasonably expect that they can keep that slot in the fall. This policy really does not seem that bonkers to me unfortunately. Annoying for sure, but I get it.
Anonymous says
I’m surprised that the clinic refers to this as a “cancellation” fee. I see it more as a “hold” fee to cover the clinic’s losses, and I’m not surprised that there is a $100 charge/appointment to hold your weekly spot. For example, the clinic still owes the same rent even if your child doesn’t attend. The clinic may not be able to fill your spot for the two months that you are gone, because most patients are going to want to be on a regular schedule and start with a provider who has availability to take them indefinitely. Additionally, even if the clinic is able to fill your spot sometimes, coordinating with those other patients adds extra work to the clinic’s employees’ loads. Therefore, the clinic needs to assess a fee to hold your spot to cover its associated losses.
anon says
+1 that it is more appropriately called a hold fee. I can see why they’d charge it and both that it doesn’t feel good to be assessed it.
octagon says
I would talk to the therapist directly about this. We had something similar for kiddo’s speech therapy, where we were traveling for half a summer a few years back. The therapist had a better window into their overall pipeline of patients and could give us a good predictor of “oh, I have two kids who are likely to graduate out before the end of the summer, so even if you lose this slot, we should be able to get you into something similar on another day.” It may be that you have to go back on a waiting list for a short time, or that the therapist can help you work around it. I would not rely on the office to do right by you.
Another option – is keeping the appointment slot but doing virtual appointments when you are away an option? The therapist would need to be licensed in that state but could keep up the relationship (and potentially insurance would pay for it). I know that doesn’t work for every OT modality but your therapist may have creative solutions, especially if you emphasize that you don’t want to lose any progress and want to keep the connection with the provider.
GCA says
I get that these appointments are hard to come by, so I kind of see both sides, but that is rough. Do they do virtual OT visits and can they do that instead?
Or [puts on Lawful Evil hat] can you ‘reschedule’ each July/ August appointment to one in September at a very slightly different time slot? It’s not a cancellation but a change…
Anon says
this sucks. our OT came up with a new policy that if you miss more than two sessions in a row you forfeit your appointment slot. they don’t have a policy where i can pay to hold the slot, but i can understand that it makes sense, though super super frustrating and annoying.
Anon says
Thanks everyone* for your commiseration, thoughts on the policy, and the perspective from the clinic’s side as well. Ironically, after I posted this, the clinic owner called me, and all should be fine. We will cancel services in July and August, but there’s a note in his file that he won’t need to go back on the waiting list or be re-evaluated to be seen again. We’ll have to take what we can get as far as scheduling for September, but at least he won’t be deemed a “new patient” and have to go back on the waitlist. Another kid can take his slot this summer, and everything will work out.
*Everyone except the reductive poster, but the comment in response actually made me laugh out loud.
anon says
I’m glad you found a solution that works! Losing his spot is one thing, but if you were going to have to go back on the waitlist I get why you were so mad.
This is also making me appreciate the flexibility of our OT office — as long as you cancel more than 24 hours in advance you’re good, so we’re just skipping the weeks we’re traveling this summer.. Cancelling within 24 hours you need to either make up the time within 2 weeks or pay a fee.
Anonymous says
This seems like a really reasonable solution from the clinic. Glad it worked out!
Anonymous says
Ok? Honestly I find it super entitled to think you can hold onto a spot even when you aren’t using it or paying for it and then kick another family out. But do you!
Spirograph says
Reductive poster is back again! And still using the same formula that the anon at 9:45 described.
OP, I’m glad the practice was able to work with you on a solution. I can see both your side and theirs, and this seems like a fair compromise.
Anon says
If you think the clinic wasn’t going to charge OP the fee AND temporarily give the spot to someone else, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you… double booking is common in this situation.
Anon says
Thanks to Spirograph and Anon for jumping in….I will admit I read the 2:13 post, thought it was super obnoxious with the reductive syntax, so I closed the s i t e and walked away, rather than wasting the energy in responding. But no matter what I did in this scenario (I pay and keep my spot, or I cancel and take my chances with scheduling in the fall), the rest of your comment after the “?” legitimately does not make sense and is inaccurate.
Anonymous says
It’s not “hold[ing] on to a spot” or “kick[ing] another family out.” What OP would originally have liked to do, and what the practice really should allow her to do, is to schedule appointments ahead of time for September but not July and August. What the practice is actually allowing her to do is to give up her existing spot and then get a new spot in the fall when one becomes available without having to go alllll the way to the very back of the line like a brand-new patient. She’s not taking anyone’s spot.
Fallen says
I am a therapist and I understand cancellation policies but this is insane. 48 hours is standard for most services. I will hold weekly appts for patients months down the line and let them cancel for summer if they are traveling. With they being said, most cancellations charge the full appt feee and not 100 so that part is very generous.
Cb says
My normally super chill kid is being a gremlin and I keep reminding myself it is May, there’s school drama, the light is messing with sleep, everyone’s tired… but my goodness. And our schools don’t let out until 29 June, so we’ve got 4 more weeks of this! Looking forward to some work travel this week to get a break from the sass and baby talk, which is definitely the quickest way to wind me up.
Anon says
My 6 year old was a mess for the second half of April and the first half of May. Not sure what it was… seems too long to be illness but there was no obvious explanation. It passed suddenly about a week before the end of the school year. Hope the same for you!
Mary Moo Cow says
Commiseration. We’ve had some gremlin days with my 8 and 6 year old. DH and I are playing taking turns reminding each other to be patient with them because we’re all dealing with “it feels like summer but we’re still in school.” We’ve only got two more weeks, but friends are getting out this week, so next week will be fuuuuunnnnn.
GCA says
Oh my goodness. Validating that 6yos are on the cusp of little/medium kid and it is hard. Kid 2 spent all of the long weekend with her cousin – they are 5mo apart and get along like twins, which is to say all positive or negative emotional energy just ping-pongs and resonates back and forth until the decibel level is unbearable and someone explodes. To get through it: what are you most looking forward to in summer?
Anonymous says
We’ve had this recently too for my 7 year old, and I keep a journal so was able to pinpoint that the exact same thing happened at the exact time last year. Talking to my teacher friends and they say it’s pretty common- realization that summer is coming, change is coming, things will be different next school year, etc, and they’re old enough that they are now aware of those things. Hang in there!
Cb says
I put a note in my calendar to remind me to be aware of it and simplify life post next May. I think it’s a mixture of boredom at school, a topsy turvy months (husband had surgery, I had a bad case of covid), and the transition to the new year.
We are going lazy camping (pre pitched tent, nice brunch) next weekend and I think that intensive family time and nature time will help.
Anonymous says
My teacher husband is going through the same thing. Although to be fair, he isn’t normally super chill either.
Anonymous says
Heh, I have a teacher friend who has been this way since March. She is also not normally a relaxed person but this is a whole other level.
Anon says
Any suggestions for relieving a severe tension headache in pregnancy? I won’t have a chance to take a bath until later (which usually helps my shoulders) and Tylenol has never relieved an ounce of pain for anything I’ve taken it for.
Anon says
Maybe aspirin + caffeine? Or Excedrin Migraine/tension headache? Maybe call your OB to ask; Google turns up different advice depending on trimester (though I’m on a baby aspirin every day to prevent preeclampsia, so that’s safe).
I also find that activating the headache pressure points between my thumb and forefinger helps.
Anon says
I’d try a little caffeine (if you’re comfortable with caffeine).
Anonymous says
Ice pack, dark room, peppermint oil. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s the worst.
Put yourself first and call out of work – don’t try to tough it out and give 50% because the headache will linger and you’ll end up feeling more miserable and tired. Remember, you’re growing a human.
Mary Moo Cow says
+1 on the ice pack and dark room. I like the Migraine IceCap (I keep one at home and one in the office) and MigraStick roll on. Also, a heated rice sack for your neck and shoulders.
anon says
I’ve had luck with an ice pack head wrap thingy I bought off amazon – take a look. It really relieves pain for me. Look for what migraine sufferers buy.
Anonymous says
Try taking tylenol with caffeine, aka Excedrin Tension Headache. Unlike regular Excedrin, it does not contain aspirin, which apparently is somewhat contraindicated in higher doses, especially after 20 weeks.
Clementine says
A can of Coca Cola (with sugar) over ice. Something about the cold drink with caffeine and sugar helps.
Anon says
Stick your head in the freezer.
Anon says
Thanks everyone. I’m on it with the caffeine, I ordered a neck wrap thing from Amazon, and I’m going to hope for the best. Unfortunately I truly cannot miss work or lie in a dark room today (crazy deadlines + two different medical appointments), but it is happening ASAP tonight!
Anonymous says
Caffeine if you are comfortable with it, and a heating pad or microwave heat pack. I find heat more effective for headaches than cold.
Anon says
on friday when i picked my twins up from school one came out sobbing…turned out she had a 102 fever, which kind of derailed our weekend plans. on the flip side, taking one kid to the pool is a totally different ballgame. i love my kids and being a twin parent, but as i was never sure if i wanted one or two kids, sometimes i am envious of those with one.
Anon says
Yep, I also love my kids, but any time I only have 1 with me life seems so much simpler!
Anon says
I have twins and singletons, and having two when one is older is a lot different than two at the same age, especially for pool outings!
However, I’m also reminded of this great saying, “The EASIEST number of kids to take care of is N – 1, with N being the number of kids currently living in your home.”
Anon says
For those of us who have an only child not by choice, thank you for saying this
OP says
i guess the grass is always greener. i wasn’t sure if i wanted one or two and ended up with twins. i can imagine that having one when you wanted more is really hard. there are so many special things about having an only child!
Anon says
I do think with more than one kid, you do inevitably miss parts of the other kids’ lives. There are only so many hours in a day, and with more than one (as I have), you have to divide your kid hours. I don’t think it’s as much the grass being greener as it is just that there truly are pro and cons of any number.
Pogo says
Working mom win (tho it’s totally luck) – my kid won some thing at school where he gets to have lunch with a ‘special adult’ and I actually can make it if he picks me! I land at like 10pm the night before from a trip, but I can make it! Trying not to bias him to pick me over my husband just because I happen to be available for once 😆
Cb says
Such good luck! Pick pogo!
Anon says
I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding for the past 3.5 years. I’m weaning my 2nd and (definitely) last baby now and am struggling with this transition. I’m VERY ready to have my body back to myself, but I’m sad about it being the end of my newborn period. I’ve been promising myself a wardrobe (and bra) update once I met this milestone and now that it’s here it just feels like work and not fun. I don’t know what I’m looking for in the post, I guess just want to say this to someone who’ll get it.
busybee says
I get it! I just started weaning this weekend, a bit earlier than I had wanted. (It’s necessary). I’m excited to be done with pumping especially, but felt a bit sad as I was nursing my son that in a few weeks, I’ll never have that feeling ever again.
Anonymous says
Oh I get it! It’s hard to move from one season to the next in parenting, even if you’re looking forward to it. I breastfed for 36 months of my life and it’s something I’m extremely proud of! But now that my kids are 5 and 7 I can look back on it with fondness but also not miss it.
Anonymous says
I get it! But also getting a new bra is so amazing. I went to Nordstrom to get fitted because by the end of nursing I had zero idea what I should be wearing, and I left with two really nice Natori bras that made such a difference in comfort and how my clothes fit.
Anonymous says
I get it! You don’t have to do the new wardrobe right away. Buy yourself one great accessory now to mark the end of that journey like a necklace or handbag and then revamp your wardrobe when you are excited about the idea.
Anon says
+1 this. Even 1.5 yrs after weaning my last kid and I feel like my size is still a moving target somehow, I guess this is just middle age
Gremlins says
On the topic of gremlin kids, I need solidarity or validation or commiseration—I don’t know what! We have a 3.5 and 1.5 year old, and I often find parenting exhausting. Some days I wake up in dread about the amount of care and attention they will demand. I sometimes feel like I must be doing something wrong because other parents with similar jobs and similarly aged kids rarely express the oppression I feel from parenting. I have many moments of joy and laughter, but I rarely (never?) feel like I can co-exist in a space with my children where they don’t need/want something of me (a snack, to play, to be picked up, to sort out jealousy, to soothe, to distract). It doesn’t help that my kids don’t demand as much of my husband, despite our very intentional and equal split of responsibilities for them. Anyone else feel similarly? Is this a toddler thing? A me thing?
Anon says
Oh my god, I will give you 1000% validation and commiseration! We’re just entering this phase (almost 3 and very mobile 9 month old) and I already hate it. (Not hate because I love my kids and they’re adorable and there’s joy blah blah blah, but also hate). We’re very much struggling as a couple because watching the 2 kids is now exponentially harder so our workload balance has suddenly gotten out of wack.
OP says
We have the same age difference! Fwiw, the months before our youngest could walk but was crawling were the hardest on me. Using public bathrooms while potty training the 3 year old and holding a squirmy 11-month old was the worst!
Hopefully things improve for you! Solidarity!!
Anon says
Me again because I’ve been thinking about this during my lunch break and wanting other parents to chime in with survival strategies. Things that are working for us:
1) strapping the kids down- stroller walks and car rides can be peaceful
2) adding more kids (cousins or friends)- I drove 2 hours round trip yesterday to visit my sister in law for a cousin playdate while husband worked and it was shockingly less work than if I had stayed home alone with the kids
3) dividing and conquering chores and kids- right now 1 kid + 1 chore per person is easier than 2 kids vs 2 chores, so like I take the oldest one upstairs to fold laundry and husband empties the dishwasher while watching the younger (our previous standard mode would be to have me watch the 2 kids and he’d do the chores).
Anon says
You are at the peak difficult period in terms of ages of 2 kids (in my experience). Had kids those ages in…April…of 2020. It was challenging.
It gets better! A year from now will be worlds different as your oldest will be more or less done with tantrums and much more self sufficient and your youngest will be more fun. Hang in there – you are doing nothing wrong, those are just very, very demanding ages.
Anonymous says
It will not be like this when they are 16 and 14! It’s the age.
Anonymous says
I felt like this until my child was almost 3, and it made me feel so bad…and then it made me feel so relieved when a couple of casual parent friends admitted feeling the same way at a playdate. It got SO much better for me after age 3, but I am certain I would have felt it much longer if I also had a younger child. I will say that I went through a period of depression between the time my child was 1-2 years old, but I don’t think I can totally put it down to that – I think some of us are just maybe built a little better for parenting slightly older kids. Like, I don’t disagree at all with the idea that little kids have little problems while big kids have big problems, but I think I’m better at understanding and tackling those older kid issues than I was at the toddler stuff, and that sense makes everything else feel lighter. Plus it truly does help when they start doing more things for themselves!
Anon says
i have two 6 year olds and I also often find parenting exhausting! mine were shockingly less demanding at age 2 than they are now. when my twins were 10 months old, I once sat and watch them played and read an entire book over the course of two days (i’m a fast reader). these other parents you speak of likely feel similarly but might not express it out loud. we also have a lot of friends with local grandparents who take the kid for a couple of hours on a weekend afternoon. if you can, you and DH should switch off sometimes and/or each do something with one kid. I find parenting one kid much easier. and yes, why kids ask mommy to get them more water when daddy is in the same room and mommy is in a different one…
Anon says
Kids are tough! This weekend I had to physically leave the room to get my 3 yo to stop crawling all over me, and they ended up sitting quietly with dad and watching tv. No more than two minutes after I go back in and sit down then they’re crawling on me again. I know it’s love, but oh my goodness, sometimes I can’t stand it.
Anonymous says
It will get so much better! Kids are now 5 and 3 and they played this elaborate game for two hours yesterday in which their stuffed animals were their children and they were doctors/ firefighters/ royalty. Meanwhile I got work done and DH took a nap. We try to keep them in earshot but give them enough space to forget about us and operate in imagination land. It doesn’t always work, but when it does, it’s magical.
The key to being less exhausted at younger ages is to make sure you have safe spaces where you don’t have to be on top of them every second. Use baby gates, move furniture, whatever you need to do so that you can be out of their line of sight/ less conspicuous but still monitoring them. We set up a small enclosed area with a soft mat on the floor within our larger playroom. Sometimes they’d be in there together, and sometimes I’d separate them. You can also try rotating toys so that they aren’t overwhelmed with options and whining about having nothing to do. My kids don’t need this on-ramp as much any more, but I used to select a few toys, sit down with them, and get them started on something before discreetly exiting the playroom.
Anon says
i’m jealous. my twins now age 5 have never played like that for that long
Been there, came out the other side says
It’s a toddler thing, not a you thing. I absolutely felt this way when mine were that age. They’re now 6 and 8 and I love our weekends together. Sure, they’ve got busy schedules and they bicker with each other and parenting is never a complete breeze. But it is SO much easier moment to moment than it was when they were babies and toddlers. We go to the pool and they can both swim! They take showers independently! They both know how to read, and so we do family reading time where I can read my own book while they read theirs! We play board games that aren’t just endless Candy land where you have to let the little kids win or worry the baby is going to swallow the pieces! The list goes on.
Hang in there! You are not a bad person for thinking this is hard, because it is. You’re not a bad person for disliking the day-to-day drudgery of parenthood. You will come out of this stage and find another that you like better, I promise!
Anon says
I often feel the same way, like there must be something wrong with me that I find parenting so exhausting. Take care of yourself. My therapist once said, “kids are annoying sometimes, and it’s okay to need a break!”
Anon says
I will add that I also experience morning dread. What helps me is to stretch for five minutes and drink a glass of water. I feel a lot better taking that small step.
OP says
Thank you for all the solidarity! I often remind myself of how it gets easier each month, but sometimes my life feels reduced to the most mundane small wins—like no potty accidents. We’ve had a lot of life transitions in the past year–and it’s reassuring that this may just be a season.
Cornellian says
Yesterday I was feeling so suffocated I hid behind a half open door in front of an airvent behind the washer so they couldn’t both be within 18 inches of my body for a few minutes. They immediately found me and relocated there.
I don’t know what it is about kids, but commiseration!
DLC says
WWYD? Everyone always has great suggestions, so help me with some swim season logistics:
4 and 7 year old have swim team (pre-team) practice 5:00-5:30- they get home from school at 4:30.
12 year old has swim team practice from 6:15-7:00p and gets home from school at 3:30pm.
What to do about dinner? When and what? I have a flexible work schedule so I can prep/make dinner ahead of time. Usually we eat at 5:30/6pm. Part of me thinks the simplest is to pack dinner and all eat at the pool from but I don’t think the 12 year old is going to want to eat right before swim practice. But waiting until 7pm to eat is not great for the littler kids. Also I don’t love the idea of eating 5 dinners a night at the pool because I find that limiting- but maybe that’s just summer and I should lean into it? Swim season is only seven weeks, so it’s just going to be logistically annoying for a short time…
GCA says
Could you pack dinner and have the littles eat after practice? The oldest could have a substantial snack before swim, then eat afterwards. (I had many nights of ballet a week as a teen, and would eat a large after-school snack around 5+, have class from 6:30-8, and then have dinner.) Then on Friday, have the littles eat a large snack after practice and everyone has dinner at 7 (it’s a bit late, but it’s summer…we just kind of lean in to it).
And, if what you miss is the experience of sitting down to eat together as a family, maybe breakfast can be your sit-down, eat-together meal?
Anonymous says
Pack dinner but let the 12-year-old eat right at 5.
Anonymous says
I would have them eat seperately after their practices, either at home or at the pool depending on what is feasible, and see if you can carpool so that you personally don’t have to do all the pickups/drop offs for the different age groups.
Anonymous says
We put a priority on eating together at home so for our family I would do MWF eat together at 5:45pm (assuming travel time allows for this). Do easy things like slow cooker chili, frozen pizza, chicken strips + salad, jar of sauce/pesto + spagettini (cooks in 5 mins). T/TH eat at the pool.
If that’s not right for your family, maybe breakfast is your family meal instead?
Anon says
Pack easy “kid dinners” to eat at the pool at 5:30 pm (like peanut butter and jelly sandwich + carrot sticks). 12 year old can use it as a snack.
“Real dinner” at 7 pm for the adults and 12 year olds, the younger 2 can use it like a bedtime snack.
DLC says
Thank for all the thoughts!
I never thought of us as a “eat dinner together every night” type of family, but I guess we’ve always figured out how to do that and I think I’m missing that.
I like the snack ideas, and also having certain days for a later family dinner. maybe we can even still do pizza and movie on Fridays after swim practice?
Anonymous says
Yeah, if I’d eaten a meal before swim practice at age 12 it would have ended up all over the deck. I had 7am practice at that age and would *maybe* eat a banana in the car.
Everyone eats after swimming. Littles can have a small snack when they get home from school and 12 yo can have whatever she’s hungry for. Littles get picnic dinner while 12yo swims. 12 yo and parents have dinner at home with parents, littles have dessert.
I life guarded and this one mom kept giving her kid cookies before a weekly lesson and the kid kept puking. The pool manager cut them from the program after three weeks.
Anonymous says
I still remember the time I ate cold white pizza with huge chunks of garlic and feta on it before practice. Every flip turn I was worried it would come up when I was upside down. This sounds like a more recreational team but I still wouldn’t make the 12 year old eat right before.
PBK Anywhere Chair says
Considering buying the Kids Anywhere chair from PBK for DS’ reading nook in his room. If you have the chair, how long did your kids use it? It’s not cheap so would want to get a few years of use out of it. Would a beanbag chair be better?
Jellybean says
Ours was given to us when DD was about 6 months old and she’s now almost 4 and uses it all the time. Hers is in her room too and she reads and plays in it all the time and we also use it as her getting ready space for dressing, brushing hair, etc. Be warned though that that she also loves to drag it around, flip it over, make a climbing ramp, etc., but I figure if we didn’t have the chair she’d find something else to use for these things!
Anonymous says
We had a beanbag chair that got almost zero use. I’d go for the Anywhere Chair.
Anon says
we have the medium size. we used it from birth until about age 4/5. we still have it in my girls’ room, but they are too big for it (they are now 6). if you get one, I’d get the largest size, or I’d get a bean bag chair.
OP says
Thanks! I didn’t mention that DS is almost 4, so it sounds like he may grow out of the Anywhere Chair very soon. Would love any recs for a kids’ beanbag too. PBK makes one but not sure if he will grow out of that one quickly too.
Mary Moo Cow says
My niece and nephew had the chairs, with a short life span: maybe until age 5? We skipped them in favor of a nugget (which is disappointingly meh to my kids) and we’re giving DD a Big Joe beanbag chair for her birthday this year. The same niece and nephew have a few of those (including the giant one) and all the kids love them.
Anon says
I ended up with a beanbag “skin” from Amazon, where kids can put their stuffed animals into the skin, then zip closed to create a beanbag chair. So much cheaper than the PBK chair, which gets marginal use in our house, and a storage solution for all the random stuffies floating around our house. Kids use them as much as they do the PBK chair.
Anonymous says
Not OP, but I love this idea! What search terms did you use for Amazon?
Anon says
We have the IKEA kids Poang chair. My 8yo still fits, though it’s getting a little snug. I like that it has a relatively small footprint and is comfortable…though my kids usually read in bed, flopped on the floor or downstairs on the couches near the rest of the family. The chair in the nook is largely for aesthetics, lol
Last Minute Vacation says
May post again tomorrow seeing as its’ getting long in the day, but here we go: we may have a window to go on a last minute vacation if DH’s job transition times the way we hope.
DH, me, 6 year old (well traveled/does well on the go, in hotels), and a 7 month old. Everyone has passports, which we don’t necessarily need to use. No airbnb/rentals – hotels only. We’d be flying out of Boston and have a week. I think we want “easy button” given the 7 month old – beach, pool, ideally direct flights. Don’t want to go somewhere that necessitates a lot of driving around if we can help it. Ideally we wouldn’t be renting a car, but maybe I suppose.
Is this Florida? We’ve done Ft Lauderdale a few times when DD1 was about this age and it was super easy (Marriott harbor Beach). We could go back but wondering what I’m not thinking of. I’ve poked around Bermuda but nothing jumps off the page. We did Beaches T&C, but not for this trip. Gulf Coast? Amelia Island (will water be warm? )?
I’m open to any and all recs that meet the criteria above. TIA!
anon says
I have family in Florida and I would not go this time of year. During the day, it’ll be either uncomfortably hot or disgustingly, dangerously hot, especially for a 7 month old.
Anonymous says
When would this be?
Anon says
i would say depends on when you are going. Florida (Rosemary Beach is supposed to be cute, JW Marriott Marco Island, Ritz Amelia Island, Sarasota or Naples, The Boca Raton Beach Club), All Inclusive in Mexico, Sea Island, GA
Anonymous says
Paris.
although with those ages i would do a VRBO not hotel in Paris slightly outside the main tourist area (Marais or the few subway stops “after” that. That way you have actual corner groceries, patisseries for super easy low stress breakfast and start to the day.
Ride metro everywhere. Eat Pastries. Go to Parks. Get the museum pass so you can go in / out for 1 hour if you want.
GCA says
I feel like this might be a decent use case for ChatGPT. I asked it, and it suggested Hilton Head Island and Myrtle Beach…
Anon says
I know some people are uncomfortable with Mexico safety-wise but Cancun has tons of nice resorts at varying price points, and the flight is not much longer than to Florida. It’s hot in the summer but hurricanes usually aren’t a big worry. We went there in July a few years ago on a similarly last minute trip due to job change and still remember it fondly as one of our most relaxing trips. We’ve also been to the Caribbean a bunch (including Beaches Turks) but Mexico is a lot easier in terms of travel.