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On a recommendation of a commenter on Corporette, I started listening to the podcast called Forever35. Their tagline is “We’re not experts, we’re just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.” The two hosts chat about self-care, makeup and beauty products, organization, and general tips on living a calm, happy, and optimized life. Basically everything that is relevant to me in my mid-thirties. This podcast, combined with all of the different types of masks that are suddenly everywhere, led me to pick this one up on a whim at Target (which is basically 99% of how I buy anything at Target). I have very sensitive, combination skin, so I knew this brand would be gentle. I finally used it on a night when my husband took the baby to his mother’s house and I had some blissful time alone. After using it, my skin felt tighter (in a good way), clean, and just basically refreshed. It was nice to do something just for me and a good break in my normal routine of running around like a madwoman. The mask is $2.49 at Target, currently on sale for $2.25 (at least online, where it’s getting great reviews). Yes to Tomatoes Single-Use Mud Mask This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
What classes do you suggest first time parents take? Fun facts: Have to have a natural birth due to medical complications and planning on breast feeding. In addition to instructional classes, did you find prenatal yoga or other classes helpful? Trying to find that line of being prepared but not going overboard.
Anonymous says
I’d just really revisit that natural birth plan, because sometimes natural birth is not possible. If you have medical conditions that would make a C-section more complicated you need an OB who specializes in high risk birth to be working with you throughout pregnancy not to be focusing on natural birth as your only option. And sure, take yoga if you find it fun and relaxing and to meet other moms but it’s not necessary
Anon says
I have a high risk OB. I realize that a C-section is a possibility and we are preparing for that. Maybe natural birth is the wrong term to use. Its more that I can’t have any pain meds. So if I don’t end up having a c-section (which they want to avoid if possible due to its riskiness in my situation), then it has to be an unmedicated birth.
Anonymous says
But a c-section will involve an epidural, no?
Anon says
No, I can’t have an epidural. They would just have to knock me out to do a c-section. I wouldn’t be awake for it at all. To put this in context the last time I had major intestinal surgery which resulted in a 13 inch scar starting at my belly button and going down I was given only Tylenol afterwards for pain. Believe me, I am not pushing “non medicated” as a preference, its just what it has to be.
Pogo says
Gently, some people do find the term “natural birth” off-putting because it implies that a medicated or C-section birth was “unnatural”. That could be what this poster is reacting to.
I did find pre-natal yoga (and honestly just regular yoga and meditation) classes helpful. Hypnobirthing was slightly helpful, but I just read the book and listened to the CD. I didn’t take the whole class. Plus Hypnobirthing has this idea that if you are totally relaxed you don’t feel any pain, and I find that sort of hard to believe.
Anonymous says
Nope I didn’t find it off putting at all! I just wanted to make sure the OP was fully exploring all the issues and sounds like she absolutely is!
anne-on says
If it helps, I was unable to have an epidural (scoliosis resulting in complete spinal fusion) and wound up with an emergency c-section due to baby’s placement and heart rate issues. Recovery was fine, no issues at all with nursing, and all in all it was pretty uneventful.
if you think it would help (and it was more for my own peace of mind) I’d suggest meeting the head of anesthesiology in your hospital ahead of time to discuss gas and other pain options if necessary. Good luck!
Pogo says
Just make sure anesthesia’s notes in your chart make it to the attending who is actually on call during your labor so you don’t end up having to repeat tests/discussions about your complications re: pain management while in the midst of transition…. ask me how I know….
Anon says
Super helpful tips thanks!
mascot says
Infant first aid and CPR. Also, my husband took a one night class geared towards dads- it had some baby care lessons, but it also had a section about how to support your partner in labor, what recovery looks like for moms, signs of PPD, etc. He said it was really helpful
GCA says
We took a general childbirth and infant-care class, and an infant CPR class – the former taught some useful pain management techniques during childbirth (although I ended up not really using that much of what I learned during actual delivery, as I got an epidural before the pain really skyrocketed and then couldn’t move around much because of it) and the latter was good for peace of mind. Other than that – the site kellymom.com was invaluable for troubleshooting breastfeeding.
A gentle note on the use of the term ‘natural’: it tends to be fuzzy and non-specific, potentially mean different things to different people, and some people read into it an implicit value judgement. I’m guessing you mean an unmedicated vaginal birth? If so, I’d look for classes that focus on pain management techniques and how to really relax when labor pain surges. One friend swears by Hypnobabies. Another believes that she tensed up her pelvic floor in response to pain during an unmedicated birth, leading to a nasty tear.
Edith says
We took a one-day childbirth class that our OB recommended, which was helpful but not geared toward natural birth. I supplemented with a natural birth techniques for partners/caregivers couple hour class that was fantastic. If you’re in NYC it was in Williamsburg and well worth it.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We did the baby 101 class, the labor class and a b-feeding class, and we also took a tour of the hospital. I would strongly recommend the baby care class – you learn all sorts of techniques about swaddling, bathing, some safety tips, baby CPR, etc. The labor class was ok, but I had an epidural after being induced so didn’t really have to “labor” much beyond waiting in the hospital. The b-feeding class had some useful tips about latching and holding the baby in various positions, so might be something to consider.
I didn’t do any prenantal yoga classes the first time around but have taken one class this time. I was having some back pain and wanted to stretch that out. It was helpful but not at all necessary.
lala says
I had one epidural birth and one natural birth (both Pitocin induced). I think the second time around the following helped me stick with my natural birth plan: 1) prenatal yoga. Not a class that is just stretching. One that requires you to work on those labor muscles and hip loosening. Blooma is the studio in my area that does this, they also sell videos if you can’t find something local. My teacher would say, while we were in the squat pose “you can do anything for 90 seconds”, and that mantra is basically what got me through my labor. 2) Hypnobabies. Super cheesy tracks that you listen to daily, but it allowed my super high strung self to learn how to properly relax during pain. It allowed me to have a painless ECV (to the shock of my midwives).
ElisaR says
I took a series of classes (i think it was 8 weeks?) aimed at natural childbirth. I found it really helpful in terms of learning what might happen and what needs to happen for babies to be born. I’m in NJ and the class I took was given by my doula. Link to follow…..
ElisaR says
holisticbeginnings.net
ElisaR says
all that work and I wound up with a c-section. Ugh.
GCA says
my response seems to be stuck in mod (seriously? why?) but we took:
– General childbirth class at the hospital (helped a bit with pain management techniques)
– Infant care, first aid and CPR classes (always good to have on hand, + peace of mind)
there’s all sorts of vagueness around the word ‘natural’, but if you need to have an unmedicated vaginal birth for medical/ safety reasons, look for a class that really focuses on pain management and relaxation techniques.
LH says
We did childbirth, infant CPR, b-feeding and newborn care. I thought only Infant CPR was useful. Childbirth was all about breathing techniques (I got an epidural and never used them), b-feeding was very off putting to me because it was like “YOU MUST EBF OR BABY WILL DIE” which is obviously nonsense, and newborn care was ok but I got a lot more out of reading books.
There are pain management options besides epidurals, fwiw. Not sure if that’s an option for you.
anne-on says
In addition to the other (good!) suggestions for CPR and breastfeeding/newborn care, I’d strongly suggest that you try to do some weightlifting classes. I was shocked by how tired/sore my arms/back were from carrying and supporting a floppy 8-lb + child ALL DAY LONG. And mine was colicky and ONLY wanted to be held and rocked (preferably while standing!). That is quite a lot of weight to be carrying around 24/7 if you’re not used to it!
NewMomAnon says
Oh gosh, yes. Core strength and arm strength. I was so sore for so many months.
Anonymous says
But… Know your body. I was able to keep strength training throughout my first pregnancy (and was still sore and had various wrist/elbow/shoulder issues as baby grew). This time that was my intent, but in my third trimester any physical activity gives me nonstop Braxton Hicks that sometimes turn into real contractions, so I’ve just had to… Let it go until I get to 37+ weeks. That’s also okay. I have to keep telling myself better the baby stays inside than I stay fit.
anon says
Apparently there are some places now that are using nitrous oxide for pain relief during labor. I don’t know your particular issues, but it might be something to consider as a non-narcotic. Obviously no one would make you use it, but it’s tough to go into labor with no option but general anesthesia.
My story is that I had an epidural birth and then a natural birth, not by choice; they were very slow doing the pre-epidural bloodwork. The natural labor was very, very hard. During labor wasn’t able to use any of the med-free techniques that I learned. I had to labor in very specific and uncomfortable positions on the hospital bed to keep the baby’s heart rate up. There was also lots of yelling and commotion in the delivery room that made any aspect of meditation or focus impossible. Basically, the doctor and nurses kept yelling at me to move into different painful positions with each contraction and during the contractions for the health of the baby. (“Knees to your chest. Roll to your left side. Arms over your head. Heartrate is dipping. Arch your back. More. Straighten your right leg. It’s falling again. Roll to your right. Move. Roll Now. Roll. Arms back up. Right leg straight. Okay. Hold. Hold Hold. Don’t move. It’s dropping. Roll to your left. NOW.”) You’ll hear lots of things about how to have a blissful and peaceful natural birth. I can tell you, that you can’t prepare yourself out of medical complications. They just happen. It’s worth talking to your doctor about what options you have if things go sideways. For the worst parts of my labor, the baby was too far descended for an easy C-section. The only way out was through. Perhaps nitrous oxide might be one option if things get bad.
As for classes, I was glad that I took a labor class at the hospital. I wanted to know as much about my options and the procedures *at that facility* as possible. Our class was taught by a nurse from L&D. I also read the book The Birth Partner with my husband and really liked it as a more general resource.
I was also glad that I took a bfeeding class. Even if you don’t get much out of the class, it’s good to take close notes of local resources if you have trouble after birth.
We also took an infant care class. I didn’t end up learning much in this class, but it did wonders for my husband’s confidence.
avocado says
Anyone who claims that natural birth, or any type of birth, is “blissful” or “peaceful” has never actually witnessed a baby being born. There is just no way around the violence of pushing something the size of a watermelon out of a tiny opening.
Any childbirth education program or philosophy that tells women they can have a blissful peaceful natural birth, with the implication that if giving birth is not a blissful and peaceful experience it’s the woman’s fault for not being calm enough or trying hard enough, should be crossed off your list of possibilities even if you want a natural birth. It’s all about YOU, what YOU want, your medical needs, and your realistic options given how things actually play out in labor. It should not be about how some man in the 1950s decided that women should behave during labor.
lala says
I completely agree with your second paragraph, but, I must say that I had both a blissful and peaceful birth with my second. Painfree? no. But blissful, yes. Peaceful, for a lot of the time (other than when I was telling my husband to BE QUIET I AM IN THE ZONE DON”T TOUCH ME, ha). Self directed pushing and pulled my baby to my chest. It was blissful, for me, because my first was whisked away to the nicu after being vacuumed out because his heart rate was dropping (so scary). So my second was somewhat healing from that first traumatic experience.
anon says
I loved my prenatal yoga classes. I was terrified of traditional exercise because at the time (2014) they were saying you shouldn’t get your heartrate too high. No matter how in shape I am, my heartrate skyrockets when I exercise so yoga was perfect. We did a one day child birth class and yoga actually prepared me better for the breathing part of it. But the child birth class was good because DH went and he was good about reminding me to breathe.
And just like everyone else said, don’t get too set on one way to give birth so you’re not too upset if/when things change.
Spirograph says
I highly recommend prenatal yoga for physical and mental benefits, as well as giving yourself a place to talk about pregnant bodies with other pregnant people. My teacher was also a doula, and she was lovely and a great resource.
For my first, DH and I went to a childbirth class at the hospital that covered labor strategies (breathing, movement, props) and partner support. I think it was 2 days? We also did Baby 101, which was over the course of a few weeks, that taught swaddling, diapering, safe sleep practices, and other important things like “put the baby in its crib and WALK AWAY if you are getting too frustrated” (honestly, that is probably the most important advice anyone has ever given about infant care). I remember my husband hated it, and I don’t know that it was very useful for me either, other than it was good to feel like we were Doing Something To Prepare.
I did not take infant first aid or CPR as specific birth prep because I was certified for years, and didn’t think the refresher training was super necessary. But if you have never had any infant CPR training, it would be beneficial.
Anonymous says
We took at 6 week prep class (it was for both mom and dad). I didn’t find the learning that useful, but I made 2 friends. Having people going through the exact same thing as you (babes were all within a week) was SOOO nice in the first year. Husband found the baby care section useful. he had never changed a diaper before.
Breastfeeding was the most useful section of the class and I also met with a breastfeeding expert for a supplement. I found breast feeding hard to learn so having the pre-knowledge to prepare you for when you are exhausted / emotional made me feel more confident. I also booked into a lactation consultant about a week in.
AwayEmily says
I had one epidural birth and one unintentional unmedicated birth. For the unmedicated one, things were going very slowly, they gave me Pitocin, and then they sped up so quickly that the epidural people didn’t have time to get it in.
One related thought: do think about/research ways of speeding up labor (Pitocin, prostaglandins, etc). There’s some info about them in the Oster book. Some people say that they Pitocin in particular makes labor more painful but I have not seen any research to back this up. And for my unmedicated birth I was actually really glad that they had given me Pitocin because it meant the whole thing went a lot faster. But it’s much easier to make those decisions when you have done some research up-front and know what you do or don’t feel comfortable with.
Also +1 to the weightlifting suggestion. Especially squats.
NewMomAnon says
I asked my OB about the Pitocin/pain connection; her take was that your body produces a feel-good hormone (oxytocin?) and adrenaline if the contractions start on their own, and that helps mitigate the pain of contractions. If Pitocin is started after contractions have started on their own, no problem. But if the Pitocin starts the contractions, then your body doesn’t produce the mitigating hormones, and it can be a much more painful experience. I probably got all of that wrong because it was 4 years ago…
AwayEmily says
That is so interesting! I did have it after my contractions had started (but they were suuuuuuuper far apart; I wouldn’t have even gone to the hospital except for that my water broke).
lawsuited says
My sister had 2 unmedicated births at home and attributes it to hypnobirthing. She read a book rather than taking a class. She also had completely healthy, uncomplicated pregnancies and very short labours (both >6 hours), so that may have contributed. A lot of folks on here (including me) think of hypnobirthing as a bit “woo woo” but I reckon if medication is not an option for you it’s worth a shot.
NewMomAnon says
My doula noted that most women who are able to labor unmedicated end up essentially “hypno-birthing” on the fly; they focus so much on breathing and mantras or routines that it’s basically the same thing. I found that to be kind of true for me up until transition, when I broke focus and demanded pain meds.
Anon says
BigLaw here and had no time. Watched free online Baby Center video series. Watched IBirth dvd and Happiest Baby DVD. Took baby CPR (in retrospect should have called hospital and paid for someone to come to my house for that class, which the nurses happily do for reasonable fee). Read some books (recommend bringing up Bebe, Ferber, Babywise (with grain of salt) and Secrets of a Babywhisperer).
Was more than enough. Didn’t have pain meds either and breastfed. Baby STTN at 2 months.
Bottom line it’s mostly mental. Do whatever is in your wheel house to feel empowered and in control. That’s different for everybody. For me that wasn’t classes. It was finding the “outline/checklist” that cuts through all the crap, just like I do in my profession.
CBG says
We took a live class of Birth Boot Camp, it’s online too. It was intense, but comprehensive. It’s aimed at “natural” birth (“drug-free” is the term I prefer), with lots of relaxation, diet and exercise focus, with specific poses/stretches for pregnancy. You watch lots of birth videos of every kind of birth (c-section, breech, hospital, home,water…), and an amazing breastfeeding video is included, I’ve gone back and watched parts of it since I’ve had my baby. The class also covered newborn and postpartum stuff, like calming a baby, baby wearing, diapers, babyblues, mealprep and just got us thinking and discussing all sorts of things that I maybe planned on figuring out but hadn’t gotten around too, or didn’t even know about.
I cannot recommend it enough, especially if you can find a live class in your area.
Jeffiner says
I wanted a nonmedicated birth for my first, and my husband and I took Bradley birth classes together. It was a 9 week course, and the written material was rather patronizing (basically considered Dad’s job to be done, devalued pumping while nursing, etc). The instructor tried to rephrase those portions. I don’t know that the class was worth it, though. It was mostly just educating you on what to expect, and teaching relaxation techniques. When I went into labor, I wasn’t comfortable in any of their recommended positions and I didn’t do any of their techniques, but I did successfully have an unmedicated birth, so there’s that. What worked for me was having my husband count out the seconds of the contractions for me (so I knew when they would end) and screaming. The nurses weren’t fond of that, but I’m a screamer.
Lana Del Raygun says
This surprises me about Bradley since the book my sister lent me (Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon) makes a big deal out of the “husband-coached” aspect.
Cb says
I took a childbirth class which was annoying but ultimately helpful and prenatal yoga which was fairly boring for a regular yoga goer but nice to meet moms. I wish I had done the day long first aid course as it is tough to do post baby. I wish I had done a hypnobirthing class as well – would be useful if you’re going sans drugs.
Anon says
Any doula suggestions in Brooklyn?
Anon in NYC says
You might want to start with this list. http://www.parkslopeparents.com/116_Birthing-Doulas.html
No personal experience with a doula, and some of those recommendations may be out of date, but it’s a starting point!
Kelly says
Yes! Visit raising roots doula dot com. Stephanie was great, we used her twice. (Apologies if this posts twice.)
KateMiddletown says
Piggy-backing on that – has anyone done a “refresher” course for 2nd time parents/labors? I’ve had an 8 year gap between pregnancies, but I don’t want to waste my time with something that I could easily read about online. Anyone find them useful?
Pogo says
Not exactly the same, but my new moms group was led by an RN/IBLC and there was a second time mom there who obviously already “knew” how to b-feed. Instead she used the RN as a resource for refresher questions – “what are they saying about solid food now? what is the rule on co-sleeping?”
Something like that might be a good middle ground, because you could read up online and bring any specific questions you have. They also brought in a car seat technician one day, which I think is also a good refresher for any parent to have every few years!
Betty says
Yes, we did! My husband and I approached it with a slightly different mindset: having been through labor and delivery once, and knowing how I react to pain and how my husband responded, what are some strategies that we could use to help? First time around, we learned that I do not outwardly express pain and that my husband totally freaked and wanted me in the hospital ASAP, so what could we do to let him and everyone else know how I am doing and how can he stay calm and be ok with not going to the hospital at the first sign of labor. It was a one day course at our local parenting resource, so it was more interactive than one at the hospital. We also took our oldest on a tour of the hospital, which really helped him.
Anonymous says
I did, with just a 2 year gap between, and don’t know that I needed to. The really important thing we learned was how much faster labor progresses with your second baby. With our first we were encouraged to wait until 3:1:1 to leave for the hospital (my hospital encourages that over 5:1:1 as it encourages non-medicated births); with the second, we were told to estimate half as long of a labor, and even shorter if you had unusual circumstances that could have prolonged the first (like back labor). So basically, leave for the hospital earlier than you did last time.
anon says
We didn’t do another class with #2, but we did tour the hospital to see what was new.
The most important thing my OB shared was to leave earlier. You’ll know what real labor feels like. Leave then. Don’t worry if you don’t technically meet some predetermined threshold. My first labor was 15 hours. My second was 3 hours. It took an hour for contractions to start after my water broke spontaneously, so it was only 2 hours measured from the first contraction. Then it was full on labor immediately. I’m so glad the hospital is only 3 minutes from my house. I was 8 cm at check in and I’d only been having contractions for 15 minutes.
Artemis says
I have a weird mom brag, I guess? Don’t know where else to share it, but when life with my kids can seem like constant small battles for days on end, this little thing made me feel good.
A few days ago, took my 3 kids to a restaurant with the grandparents. Grandparents picked the restaurant. Over an hour after we ordered, no food to be seen, even though two tables next to us, adults-only, who arrived later, got their food. My kids were miraculously fairly well behaved and entertained, but enough was enough.
I saw the manager a few feet from our table and got up an approached him and (very politely) informed him of our unacceptable wait, etc. etc. About two minutes later, miraculously, he brought our food out (I still have no idea what the problem was).
When we were done eating, my 8-year-old said to me, “Mommy, thanks for doing something, for talking to the manager and getting us our food. You talked to him and our food came right away! I’m glad you did that for us.”
I feel like so much of what I do is invisible to my family. It was a good chance too for me to teach him about being polite while speaking up for yourself. And for him to see his mom making stuff happen.
Thank God for the little things :).
Mama Llama says
That’s awesome! You are a great role model!
Anonymous says
Go you! I have started telling my kids how much I do for them – and they VOLUNTEERED to help empty the dishwasher this weekend!
Anonymous says
omg! I teared up!
Pogo says
Trying to decide if I want to pump and dump or try to bring my milk back from a trip this week.
Biggest annoyance to me is keeping the milk cold during transit. If I pump and dump I can forgo the cooler bag and ice packs and awkward conversations with the front desk about my milk. I have a couple days at the end of the trip where I’ll be in transit for 10+ hours, and I’m not actually confident I can keep milk chilled that long with the cooler bag I normally use.
But mentally I finding dumping so difficult. Thoughts?
Mama Llama says
I would pump and dump and enjoy the heck out of some cocktails! But I guess it really depends on how old your baby is and why you are pumping. I always pumped to keep my supply up, not to try to give my baby as much breastmilk as possible – we supplemented with formula starting at 3 months. So if you’re doing it to maintain supply, I say dump away. If you’re doing it because you want the baby to get as much breastmilk as possible, maybe look into one of those services that ships the milk back for you?
Pogo says
Yeah, just trying to maintain supply. Baby is almost a year and is already down to just two sessions a day nursing, very quick. I think I’m struggling with the fact that I might pump to keep supply up and he wont’ even be interested in nursing when I get back! At least if I keep the milk I’ll have something to show for my effort?
This is way more emotional for me than I expected! Previous trips I’ve taken I was super committed to keeping the milk, because he relied on me for all his nutrition. Now that he doesn’t “need” me anymore… it’s tough! I blame weaning hormones.
AnonMom says
This is all hormonal. Not telling you what to do but weaning is
great!! The kids don’t care.
Anonymous says
I always felt guilty planning to dump. But once I was in the moment, I was SO RELIEVED to dump and be able to stop worrying about my body for a hot second. I would figure out a freezer bag plan, and bring all of that, but then I would probably end up dumping anyway.
Spirograph says
Ditto this. There’s a split second when you’re pouring the milk down the sink that you feel like it’s a waste, but the freedom from the rest of the logistics are so worth it.
Em says
I took a girls trip when my son was 8 months old and had the same dilemma. I brought my supplies, but was still on the fence. Our hotel ended up having a small fridge with a freezer, so I was able to freeze my ice packs without having to go through the hotel. I think if that hadn’t have been the case, I would have just pumped and dump though. I still dumped a few bottles, either because we were out and about and I couldn’t keep them sufficiently cold, or because I had several alcoholic drinks and wasn’t comfortable using the milk. Unless your supplies are going to significantly add to your luggage, bring them so you have the option, but give yourself permission to dump if it ends up being a hassle.
AwayEmily says
Maybe it depends exactly how annoying you find the logistics? I don’t really mind the front-desk conversations, the cooler juggling, etc — it’s the actual pumping that I detest. And I figure if I’m doing that anyway I may as well keep the milk. Also I’m sure you do this already but if some of your travel is via air then I’ve had excellent luck asking for fresh ice — from flight attendants as well as from random airport restaurants. I think they get these requests a LOT.
AwayEmily says
Oh, to follow up on that since you mentioned ice packs — instead of ice packs I bring a couple of freezer bags and fill them with ice, refilling as necessary along the way.
LB says
If you end up wanting to keep the milk, I think you could try a S’well bottle. They really do keep things very chilled for a long period of time.
NewMomAnon says
Is there a local milk bank you could donate to? Only if you want to, I actually would suggest using this time to stop pumping. I switched kiddo to whole milk at a year and she nursed only at night; I don’t think she got much, but it was comforting to her.
Betty says
Need advice on families and vacations: I’m taking next week off for a summer vacation. We are mostly planning on staying at home and doing local beaches and fun outings. My family has a summer house on a lake that is about 45 minutes away. My sister has been at the lake house for the last two weeks, and it has been so wonderful to have her and my nephews nearby.
The challenge is that our mother is also local. Her main house is between my house and the lake house. She insists on staying at the lake house whenever my sister or I are there with our families. We can ask for time alone with our families, but our mom gets incredibly upset, sad and sulky about it. She takes it as a personal judgment on her. Last summer, when I said that I wanted time for just my family, it led to a major, multiple week silent treatment/fight with my mom. Having my mom out at the lake with us can be great. She offers another set of hands to help with the kids. The problem is that she is also incredibly judgmental and prone to anxiety. Greatest hits of the past six months have included my weight (always framed in a positive: wow! you look great and now you can keep the weight off!), my husband’s weight, my 4 year old mixing up numbers on a door sign (thought you needed to know in case she has dyslexia), my exercise routine (how many times a week are you running?) and our choices on treating our son’s ASD (isn’t there an OT provider closer to our houses!?).
My mom’s complaint/cause of the day centers around tv and screen time. She has commented to my sister and I in the last few days that she thinks our kids watch too much tv and that my sister and I should be actively engaging our kids more of the time. Maybe there is truth to the statement, but I don’t want to tackle these issues while I am on vacation, which may involve more screen time so I can sit and read a book. My mom is also a person who cannot sit still. Ever. She is always up and doing, and that is something I am actively trying to fight in my life (business for the sake of being busy). I mentioned to my mom that I am taking vacation next week, but now I’m not sure that I want to given her recent comments. I’d love to spend time with her at the lake house, but only if she can keep her commentary to herself. Lately whenever she makes a comment, I try and give a non-response (slight shrug of the shoulders and a “hey everyone does their own thing”). Any other suggestions?
Anonymous says
Pay for your own vacation at a house that belongs just to you if using the Family house is such a drama for you.
anne-on says
+1. Sorry, but behavior like this (and a side of grandparent yelling/cursing/racism) is why we never use my parent’s “free” (ha!) vacation house. I have limited vacation time and it isn’t worth it, not to mention it isn’t worth it to expose my husband to this extra level of stress on HIS vacation time too.
Pogo says
Yep. We typically only do one vacation at in-laws second home and I see all the drama as the tax I pay for this privilege. A true vacation does not involve this kind of anxiety.
If you still want to go and carve out time just with your sister, pick some activities that you guys can do together or with the kids and mom won’t be interested in (for me, anything outside or involving exercise of any kind rules out my MIL) to get some alone time. My SIL and I also plan a mani/pedi during our vacations and make that known to everyone from the start.
Anonymous says
Gently, if you want to avoid her, I think you need to avoid the lake house. What do you mean by “my family” has a lake house? Does that mean it is your parents? Does everyone have some ownership in it? If it is your mom’s house in any way, I don’t think you can keep her away. Maybe some day trips to the house to visit with your sister and her kids, but your house probably needs to be your home base. Then you can leave whenever you want without it being awkward.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I have to agree with this. If the house belongs to your parents or your mom, then seeing her is the price of using the house. Find a different place to vacation if you don’t want her there.
mascot says
Family houses can be tricky- does your mom actually own the house? Or do you and your sister have ownership interests? IME, controlling the purse means controlling the keys and who visits when. If that’s your mom, then this may be the price of admission to use the lake house.
I think sometimes you can put some conversations off limits- mom, we will not be discussing anyone’s weight. If she continues, you leave (the room, the house, whatever). The rest I think probably comes from a place of love and assuming good intentions on her part may help. My parents seem to have forgotten 50% of what it is like living with little kids 24/7.
Betty says
Thanks. I think you are right that this is part of the price of admission. The house and land are in a family trust at my mom’s insistence. She pays for the maintenance and we do the physical labor.
I think my challenge is that the drama will be there whether we go out to the lake house or not.
octagon says
I want to get a Fire tablet for my son and take advantage of Prime Day. Is it worth just getting the Kids Edition or should I get a regular one in case we need it for other things?
mascot says
Kids, all the way. It’s got a 2 year warranty (they replaced ours at 21 months old no questions asked), comes with a case, and I think you can get FreeTime subscription for cheap/free for a bit. You can always buy an extra memory card so you can store more on it. Kids don’t care about the minor differences in visual display and such.
Pumping Question says
My eight month old is b-fed, and I am trying to decide if I can drop a pumping session at work. He eats every three hours during the day. He nurses unless he is at daycare, where he receives three 7oz bottles each day. To match that, I’ve been pumping three times a day at work. I do not get 7 ounces every time I pump– I get closer to 5 each time. But I also pump once each night before I go to sleep. This usually brings my total to at or above 21 ounces, replacing what he drank that day.
I have approximately 220-250 ounces of bmilk in my freezer. I would like to bfeed until he is a year old. If I drop a pumping session during the day, I think that means I’ll lose 5 ounces per weekday. Between now and his first birthday (end of November), there are 100 weekdays. So, it seems to me that I would need 500 ounces saved up to drop a pumping session at this point.
Am I looking at this correctly? I find it hard to believe that I have a freezer almost full of bmilk and that I have to still keep pumping like this… obviously formula could be an option if I just really want to drop a pump, but beyond that, is there some way I can reframe this?
Anonymous says
Your body very well may adjust to pumping 7 oz twice per day, instead of 5 oz 3x/day. If you want to drop a pumping session, do it! You can always ramp back up after 2 weeks if you need to (obviously supplement your diet with oatmeal, mother’s milk cookies/vitamins/etc., and LOTS of water).
Pogo says
I dropped my pumping output to below what LO was eating probably before 8 months. For awhile, I needed only to tap into one bag a week from the freezer. Then as my output kept dropping I needed to thaw out a bag every other day, a bag a day, etc. But I purposely started tapering my pumping with the aim of NO PUMPING by 12 mos.
He’s one year old in a couple weeks and we are still going through the freezer stash. And I never had over 200 oz – probably closer to 100.
If you have detailed #s on your stash, you could try one week of dropping the session, calculate how much you had to pull from the stash, and then extrapolate how far you’ll get. I’m betting it’ll carry you to one year, if that’s your goal!
Anonymous says
I say definitely try it. I think you probably won’t lose a full 5 oz if you drop one session. I only pump once at work and I get about 12 oz at one session. I’ve tried to pump twice, but I only get slightly more total (maybe 14-16 oz) because the interval between sessions is significantly shorter.
October says
As your baby eats more solids, his breast milk intake may drop a bit – this happened right around 9 months for us.
AwayEmily says
One other thought — have you tried giving him a little less milk? Maybe three 6-oz bottles instead? My baby will basically eat as much as you give him but gets by just fine on a little less (which I found out by accident when I didn’t thaw enough milk and sent him with three 5 oz bottles instead of his usual 6 oz bottles — he didn’t even notice). Anyway, maybe worth a try for a day or so.
Anonymous says
21 oz seems like a lot especially if you work a standard 8-9 hour day. Can you try giving him more solids?
Anon says
I would think solids and formula and good alternatives. I pumped through 12 months too, but the last 3 months I was very willing to risk supply drops in the name of sanity. Your supply might drop, it might not. But given the practical non-existence of evidence that BM does a baby good at that age, why worry so much? In fact, formula is iron and vitamin D. And freezer milk always tasted/smelled pretty gross to me.
Anonymous says
My 7-year-old stepson has started lying, well beyond any of the toddler-appropriate make-believe. For example, this weekend, he was not being a good listener and was grabbing random stuff at the grocery store, trying to ride on the cart after being told “no” repeatedly, and then said he was cranky because the thunderstorm kept him up all night long. Well, the thunderstorm didn’t wake him up – he slept through the night. This seems small, but any time he misbehaves, he blames it on something else. So 2 issues I guess: 1- lying, 2- refusing to take responsibility for his own behavior. I understand a lot of this is age-appropriate and testing boundaries. My question is, moms of older kids, how do you deal? What’s the best tactic here? Do I call him out on his lying? Do I ignore the lying and just deal with the misbehavior? FWIW, at the grocery store this weekend, I simply took stepson to the car while my husband finished the grocery shopping. I didn’t find out about the lie until later, when my husband told me that my stepson slept through the night (and asked, first thing this morning, “did it thunderstorm last night?”).
avocado says
I would not call him out on the claim that he didn’t sleep. Kids are bad at estimating how much time they spend awake at night. He might actually believe that he didn’t get much sleep even if he did sleep through the storm. Instead, I’d lean into it without letting him off the hook for his behavior. “Wow, I am sorry to hear that you are so tired. Because you feel tired and grumpy, you know that you’ll need to be extra careful about your behavior today. Is there anything else you can think of that would help you feel better? A nap, or some quiet time by yourself?” Basically just acknowledge that he is tired (even if you think this is a made-up excuse) and make him responsible for finding a solution or moderating his behavior. Even better, get dad to handle it.
Anonymous says
+1 I am a parent and a stepparent.
Esp. if stepkid doesn’t live with you, have Dad police.
But with kids this age, just don’t argue with him. That’s a losing battle.
Recommend How to Talk So Kids will Listen book.
OP says
Thanks. The suggested language is helpful and I’ll go back and reread How To Talk!!
Anon says
What do you want him to say?
I was bad. I should be a better listener. I will do better in the future?
Does he hear you and his dad say things like that? Like if you are late do you say “Man traffic was tough! Sorry we were late!” or do you say “I am really sorry we were late. I should have started getting ready 30 minutes before and spent less time scrolling instagram. Next time I will be more organized.”
NutureShock has a great chapter about lying and how we praise our children for it. For example if they open a bad gift we are so proud that they can hide their emotions and pretend to like it.
I think its unrealistic for the kid at 7 to demonstrate behavior you probably don’t demonstrate. I also wonder if he is given an out. If he is not feeling shopping can he communicate that? Will you listen? Did he have the choice to stay in the car with a parent? Maybe he is tired for some reason and didn’t want to do shopping. By teaching him to plan ahead and problem solve by asking to not participate you could have helped prevent the problems in the store.
OP says
Yeah, I did want him to say “sorry for jumping all over the shopping cart.” And you’re right that my desire is clearly unrealistic. Thanks for calling me out on that.
NewMomAnon says
This is amazing advice. I have been working on taking responsibility for my mistakes. It’s so hard because I was not raised like that! But I can’t expect kiddo to do something I can’t do, so I’m trying.
lawsuited says
How do you know he slept through the night? Presumably he could have woken up or tossed/turned without alerting you? I think I’d address it by saying “We all have to follow the rules and treat the people around us with respect even when we haven’t had as much sleep as we’d like” or similar, and offer a nap to indicate a healthy solution to deal with not having enough sleep in case that really is the problem.
And by the way, if your kid is blaming his behaviour on being tired when he’s actually just behaving poorly, he;s pretty smart to have tapped into the last socially acceptable excuse for being a jerk.
OP says
This is a child who NEVER gets himself back to sleep without waking a grown up – we have visitation and he usually wakes us up 3-4x per night. The sleep stuff is a separate issue. This language is helpful, and you have a good point about tiredness being the last socially acceptable excuse to be a jerk! Thanks.
anon says
In some ways it sounds like you’re more upset with the excuses than then non-truths. I’m not sure if I’m right or wrong, but I don’t let my daughter get away with excuses. I figure that if excuses don’t work on me, she’ll stop trying them. For instance, I might say:
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that you’re tired, but you’re big enough to know how we act in a grocery store. Sometimes we all have to do things we don’t want to do–like grocery shopping–EVEN when we’re tired. Chores go much faster and are more fun when everyone helps. I hope next time you can pitch in and help.
There will be no TV this afternoon because of how you behaved in the store. Perhaps you can use that time to rest so we have a better evening. I was looking forward to playing that new board game together.” (The chance to play the board game is now the new leverage if things go south that afternoon since taking TV time is already used.)
OP says
Pointing out how “sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do – even when we’re tired” is really helpful. Thanks for these ideas!
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t really call this “lying” – he probably heard the thunderstorm and thought it was up all night even if it was just for a few minutes. It is making excuses though, so I’d focus on that (but agree dad should be handling this, not you).
anne-on says
So a quick thank you to the poster who suggested reading ‘Raising your Spirited Child’. I just finished it and wow, my kid is 100% fitting the description. Going back through it with a highlighter and sticky notes for our au pair this weekend, and I feel like our whole family will benefit from the tools/scripts in the book. Very grateful for this helpful and non-judgmental community!
Annie says
I don’t think you can do math that way. It’s really hard to predict what dropping a session will do to your supply. It may have no effect, and it may reduce your output during your other sessions. I’m all for dropping and supplementing with formula if needed with an eight month old (I did that starting at six months) but if you don’t want to, I think you need to keep pumping.
Annie says
Ugh – this was for the question above.
Anonymous says
On the other hand, it might increase what you get at other sessions. I get about the same whether I pump once or twice during the work day. I think the only way to know is to try it. If your supply plummets you can always add back in the other session. It’s not an irreversible decision.
LHW says
I love the Forever 35 podcast! Doree also has a podcast with her husband about IVF — Matt & Doree’s Eggcellent Adventure.
Make-up Remover Cloths says
Has anyone tried those reusable make-up removing cloths? You supposedly just wet them, and they take everything off and then launder and reuse. Any success? Thanks!
sfg says
If you are still going to do a regular face wash after, I find that using a (soft) washcloth is just as effective as a makeup wipe if you have to launder the cloth anyway…
JTM says
I use them and love them! So far I’ve only used the Sephora ones, but they are great to use. I keep one in my travel toiletry bag – they are great for when you’re traveling & don’t want to use a hotel washcloth.
I do follow up with an actual wash most of the time, but if it’s late I can use the cloth & at least take off my makeup before I go to bed.
rosie says
When someone requests donations instead of gifts, do you tell them that you made a donation? I’m finding orgs that don’t have a “in honor of” or gift donation option so the org is not going to send anything. If so, what do you do? Note in a card? Print something? Thanks!
Lana Del Raygun says
My mother makes a donation in her sister’s honor every year for Christmas and then gives her a related token gift, like a pen when it was a women’s literacy charity and an ornament shaped like a house when it was for housing.
Anonymous says
A friend asked for donations to specific charities instead of wedding presents. I did that and put a note in the card because I wanted her to know that her request had done some good in the world.
AnotherAnon says
Just a complaint: I received several emails over the weekend from healthcare dot gov saying I was approved for insurance and need to log in and make my first payment. I tried to log in several times this morning and I just get a screen that says “we need you to wait here.” Um ok.
rosie says
For Artemis (I don’t think it’s going to thread on mobile)–that’s great. Also, so great to model politely advocating for yourself. Growing up something like this would have been a confrontation and now as an adult it always feels wrong to me to say something even though they is nothing wrong with asking politely.
Anonymous says
I woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning. Please give me your best tips for “getting over it”. (Specifically, a little miffed at DH for having to be the bigger person and apologize over a trifling matter and not getting one in return, but also hair wouldn’t cooperate, etc. etc.)
BC says
Identify things you are grateful for, or how the situation could be worse.
Anonymous says
Some self-care errands over lunch. Maybe a wander through Target or another store close by and grab a good, fancy coffee.
Anon says
Smile – even fake smile for 30 seconds – including smiling with your eyes sometimes weirdly helps me re set
Go for a walk outside in fresh air
Make list of things that you can be thankful for
Plan a treat for getting through the day – maybe taking a walk and getting ice cream, buying a magazine and taking a bath, playing a game of cribbage with your husband at a the park.
Listen to a mix of your favorite songs from highschool
Mama Llama says
Make a to-do list of 5 nagging tasks that you can do in 15 minutes or less and then power through them.
Combo feeding- getting started? says
I know there have been some posts about combo feeding in the past, but can someone talk me through how to get started? I had a terrible bfeeding experience last time (severe tongue tie, lots of pain/bruising/bleeding, stopped after a month even after tongue tie revision). It was terrifying at the time to know you can’t just stop cold turkey without a lot of pain and potentially mastitis. Took a month of cutting out pumping sessions to be done. This time I’d rather see if combo feeding helps me bfeed longer, but still have memories of waking up painfully engorged multiple times/night, being unable to skip a feeding for any reason without pumping, etc. How do you physically make combo feeding work???
mascot says
We combo fed from day one. I had supply issues due to prior surgery so oversupply wasn’t really an issue. Perhaps decide what feeds will be a formula feed and keep those consistent so that your body will adjust. Example- my husband always gave a formula bottle for that 11pm feed. A good lactation consultant may also be able to help- mine believed very much in the presence of b-milk rather than the absence of formula and was able to help us find a balance that worked.
Annie says
My friend combo fed very successfully from the beginning. She always had her husband do the same night bottle and she always gave a bottle to her daughter at around the same time every day, so her supply just never developed for those feeds.
Anonymous says
I combofed from the beginning, but we didn’t really skip feedings. We offered the baby a bottle of formula in the evenings right before bed after her last nursing session, because we noticed she slept longer when she had some formula (this is based in science – it takes longer to digest than b-milk). She started sleeping through the night pretty early (<2 months) and we weaned from daily formula at that point, although we still bring it with us when we travel and it's super convenient to use it if nursing isn't practical right at that moment (because when our baby gets hungry she gets HANGRY and goes from 0 to 60 in about 10 seconds).
That said, engorged b00bs never bothered me. For about a month or so after she started sleeping through the night, I'd always wake up leaking in the mornings but I didn't care and there was no way I was waking up to pump. Sleep is so important to me and I didn't mind sacrificing comfort/cleanliness to have a longer stretch of uninterrupted sleep.
Anonymous says
+1 The engorgement only bothered me a few times. When kiddo first slept through the night, I would take the edge off by pumping a couple ounces before I showered (while she was still asleep) so that I didn’t let down and spray a bunch in the shower and while getting ready. But I only did that a handful of times since I wanted my body to adapt.
Anonymous says
+1 to the engorgement only if that wasn’t clear. I didn’t combo feed so can’t give advice on that. Best of luck…I’m sure you’ll figure out a good system for you!
GCA says
Testing: both my responses on the first thread this morning have vanished into the depths of moderation, no clue why. Anyone else?
Mama Llama says
Can anyone recommend a post c-section support band thing? I’m not look to “shrink” or “reshape” or whatever the description says on a lot of these Belly Bandit products, I just want to support my midsection for comfort while I’m recovering. My doctor said they will give me one at the hospital, but that it’s kind of scratchy and many people prefer their own.
Anonymous says
I used my bella band knock off a lot post partum for this. It’s not super tight, but does provide some support.
KateMiddletown says
I AM looking to shrink and re-shape… did the Belly Bandit help for this? For the knock off, which one did you get? I didn’t use my first time around but I’ve already gained more during P2 at 28 weeks and I want to try the witchcraft that promises shrinking my waist.
Anon says
I did the Bellefit after a c section and it totally helped put things back (or near) their original location.
Em says
I used the Bellefit after a v*ginal birth and thought it helped quite a bit with initial shaping and shrinking.
Anon says
This is interesting to me, because my doctor did not recommend one and I did not feel like I needed one after my C. The most “support” I used was pressing a pillow to my incision when laughing or coughing.
Mama Llama says
As far as I can tell, doctors are pretty split about them and there’s no definitive research. I didn’t use one for my first c-section, but this time I have a preschooler and a house with a lot of stairs so I thought I might try one out. My OB said she thinks the benefit is in making people more comfortable moving around, and the moving around speeds up the healing process.
preschoolquestion says
Any suggestions for backpacks, water bottles, lunch boxes, and labels for 2 day a week mothers day out type program for 2 year old?
Anything else I’m forgetting?
Annie says
Depending on the size you need, the skip hop backpacks are adorable.
NewMomAnon says
Looking for advice on how to integrate kiddo into a house hunt – she is 4.5, and vaguely knows that we will be moving in the future. Do I take her out to look at possible houses? Do I solicit a wish list from her? Do I just select the one I think is best and then show it to her? It will be a big transition for her.
Anonymous says
I don’t think you show her a house until it’s under contract. I think it would be heartbreaking for a kid that young to fall in love with a house and then you don’t get it because you get outbid or the inspection reveals major problems or whatever. I think it would be nice to talk to her about what she’d like in a new house, but in a way that makes it clear these are just wishes and not things that will necessarily happen.
mascot says
+1. You make the choice and she’s along for the ride. It’s not like you are going to pick something that is a bad choice for your/her needs. If you want to have her input in something, let her pick out things once you get the house. She can help decorate her new room or pick out flowers for the garden or whatever.
Mama Llama says
We just moved with a 4 year old. YMMV, but she haaaated looking at houses. She thought it was so boring, and all she wanted to do was try out every single potty in each house. She was with us when we found the house we liked, and she said she liked it too, but we really didn’t ask what she wanted in a house. She had the opportunity to look at the new house a few times before moving days, which she also thought was pretty boring. On moving day, she went to daycare as usual, and we made it a priority to have her new room as setup as possible when she got home. The transition went shockingly smoothly, especially considering that we switched from a toddler bed to a regular twin at this time and she spontaneously nighttime potty-trained just a few weeks before the move.
NewMomAnon says
Lol. Kiddo and I sometimes go to open houses for fun. She mostly likes big open spaces where she can do gymnastics.
This advice helps though. I include her in a lot of things so it feels weird to not include her in this, but I feel like I would have to listen to her and really take her want list into consideration, and…she is 4. Some of her wants are probably not realistic, and the market is so hot that even if we fall in love with a house, we may not get it. Which is hard for a kid who can’t bear losing at Candyland.
mascot says
Not what you asked so unsolicited advice ahead, but something that we struggle with as parents to an only child is unwittingly allowing him/inviting him to insert himself in adult conversations and decisions. Over time, it’s become a bit of an issue that we are having to work to correct. Part of it is his personality (extroverted, articulate, talkative kid who isn’t shy about asking questions) and part of it is situational (he spends a lot of time around and talking to adults). So even though it feels natural to solicit her input on things, make sure that it’s only those things that a 4 year old should have dominion over. With only one kid in the house, it’s easy for him (and us) to forget that kids don’t have the same voting rights as adults.
NewMomAnon says
Yeah, this rings true – kiddo is very used to me soliciting her input when she actually has a say. And I don’t think she should have input on this topic, because she has no clue what factors into a house purchase. And she would be so mad if she had an opinion and I ignored it.
She will get to help me pick out a paint color for her room at some point. That is the level of input she should have at this stage of her little life.
anon says
I can see that you want to involve your child but…she’s 4. Agree with mascot that you aren’t not going to take her into account but it would be easier not to involve her at this point. Actually, I don’t think my answer would change if she were 14 (unless she really loved looking at houses, then I’d bring her along with the understanding that you get the final say. I would have freaking loved that at age 14.). You’re the one buying the house. Consider what is best for the whole family, find something that works, then show her.
ElisaR says
I remember looking at houses as a kid. Even though my parents would say “we are PROBABLY NOT buying this house” before we walked in, I would stroll in and see a closet and think MAN IT WOULD BE SOOOO COOL to have that closet. I was not rational about the fact that it was a split level in a cr*p neighborhood. I wanted that closet. I was older than 4. When my parents sold my house I was sad because I had the perfect hiding spot behind bushes that I could fit in…… so my point is that kids don’t appreciate the real factors that go into house buying.
Anonymous says
That’s fair. My parents took me to casually look at houses from time to time (and we never moved). It was honestly kind of dumb. It just got me excited about something that was never going to happen. In this case, it sounds like poster is definitely moving. So that helps. But I’d just probably just show it to her after you decide. Maybe after you’ve decided which house to buy but before you’ve put in an offer. That way you have an out if she points out something terrible that is actually true.
NewMomAnon says
My family idly looked at houses as a hobby. We did it at least one weekend a month, even though we were not going to move. In retrospect, probably a strange thing to do with two kids in tow…or later with two surly teenagers in tow.
Anonymous says
It’s not weird, but I’m thinking your parents might have done a better job of indicating it was for hobby purposes than mine. I’m not saying mine weren’t totally disinterested…but I think they definitely didn’t convey to me how unlikely it was. Basically I feel like they looked at houses out of curiosity from time to time with the idea that if it was more than 100% perfect, they could be convinced to move if they got an amazing deal. I definitely didn’t understand that as a preteen excited about a bigger room and a finished basement.
AnonBigLawMo says
Who makes the best version of this toy? DD played with a version at a friends house and I want to buy for her. cossy Magnet Tiles Building Block, 76 PCs Magnetic Stick and Stack Set for girls and boys, Perfect STEM Educational Toys for Kids Children https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0793LKF4B/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_h8ntBbD0TQXJG
Anon says
I personally prefer the Magna Tiles brand where they are solid blocks (like the middle isn’t empty). I find those easier for building.
GCA says
How old is kiddo? I actually prefer the kind where the middle are empty – they seem easier for toddlers to hold/ pick up. Discovery Toys are our favorites.
Anon says
2.5. Yes I want the hollow kind.
Anonymous says
We have Magformers, and he loves them. We take them out at restaurants or on airplanes or other places he has to sit and wait. I haven’t compared them to other brands, but they’re sturdy and magnetic. I should mention that 3D building isn’t easy for him, but I’m not sure whether that’s the blocks or him.
KateMiddletown says
Late in the day WWYD – I have an optional 2-day work conference scheduled out of town during week 35 of pregnancy. It’s a 1 hour flight or 5 hour drive- dr said no problem with the flight itself but the risk is potentially going into labor early. Upside to going would be knocking out a few more CEs before end of year, having 2 glorious days to myself in a hotel with great food, seeing out of town contacts again.. Downside is obviously travelling at 35 weeks pregnant unnecessarily, albeit a 1 hr plane ride away. Pregnancy has been complication-free up to this point. Should I book the plane tickets?
Anonymous says
I’d do it but maybe buy travel insurance? Or investigate whether your credit card company offers free travel insurance for something like this. If my doctor cleared it, I’d be on my way. Especially if it is an a destination with quality healthcare.
Anon says
Isn’t there also a risk baby comes early and you need to cancel. I’d do it though. Travel insurance if it makes sense.
Anonymous says
I mean before 35 weeks.
Anonymous says
I’d block it on my calendar and plan to do it, but buy plane tickets and register for the conference at the last minute if that wouldn’t make it impossible to go.
Also, if you went into labor early or had other complications, is there a hospital near the hotel that you’d be comfortable going to? Does it have a NICU? If money is an issue, is the hospital in-network for your insurance, or how would your insurance handle that?
MomtoaMila says
Definitely suggest making sure that there is a hospital with a NICU near the conference. The other consideration is – will you be able to handle/afford being 5 hours away from home with a preemie in the hospital for a couple of weeks, if necessary? Will your partner, family, etc. be able to come and help out at a moment’s notice? It seems like the chances of an early delivery are low, but it’s definitely not unheard of. I personally would have avoided traveling that late in the pregnancy, but I’m risk averse and wouldn’t want to spend loads of money on a hotel if I had an early delivery and the baby needed to stay in the hospital for several days or more.
New law mama says
I had an unmedicated birth and really drew on meditation and yoga skills, so I recommend that (and good for you anyway beyond the birth benefits). Overall core strength and health also make a big difference in recovery, so swimming, lifting weights, or whatever works for you. I took a breastfeeding and 1-day baby are classes but they were pretty generic and not that helpful – probably makes more sense to save the money and spend it on post-partum doula or lactation consultant for specific, concrete help or PACE group to make friends.