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Fallen says
Where is everyone buying winter/fall pants and sweaters for preschoolers and elementary school kids? We moved to the northeast a few years ago and still trying to find the places with the warmest clothes.
Anon says
Classrooms are heated so much in the winter that we never really buy special winter gear except for outside. My kid mostly wears Old Navy leggings and Target and H and M sweatshirts and long sleeved t-shirts.
anon says
Same here. Focus on the outerwear and don’t worry too much about clothes. My kids pretty much live in long-sleeve tees, pants, and hoodies.
Anonymous says
Don’t dress them too warmly. Buildings in the Northeast are all overheated. A super warm coat and snow pants over lighter layers is best.
Anonymous says
+1 – my son’s NYC classroom last winter was literally 80 degrees (and this is in a new school building). The teacher was loosing her mind and hard the kids start graphing the temperature as an educational activity.
Wallflower says
Target’s Cat & Jack line has jersey lined pull on pants which our toddler lives in during the colder months.
NYCer says
They also have fleece lined leggings for the really cold days. But I do agree with the other posters that most buildings are very, very heated, so normal leggings/pants are generally fine for indoor activities.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, on winter weekends we put the kids in Cat & Jack fleece-lined leggings (we keep our house pretty cold). But for school days, just regular leggings; otherwise they overheat. Sweaters are usually out, too (too hot) — we send them with a t-shirt + zip-up sweatshirt and inevitably they come home in just a t-shirt.
Anonymous says
Those jersey lined pants are my kid’s favorite ever!!! I couldn’t find them a few weeks ago but maybe they have the winter stuff now!! Not in theNE but have a very cold-running child
Anonymous says
Regular clothes for inside (jeans/leggings/short sleeve or long sleeve tshirts). I usually leave a light hoodie in their backpacks so they have an extra layer available.
Car trips like to/from activities and grocery store etc – light thin puffer (primaloft), hat and mitts, snow boots. Remove hat/mitts in store,
Outside play/walking to and from school: snow pants and snow coat (waterproof not just water resistant), snow boots, hat, mittens, thin neck warmer.
In my experience people from warmer climates underestimate the importance of hat/mittens and also the importance of layers to take on and off depending on the situation.
Anonymous says
Also – keep a fleece blanket in the car for each kid. That way if they are chilly before the car warms up, they can put that over their legs.
For daycare drop off, we only had a 5 minute drive and often put on their snowsuits even though they are not technically car seat safe, unzip, and buckle then zip over the straps so you just have one layer behind them instead of a layer behind and in front. YMMV.
AwayEmily says
Ideally the SAME fleece blanket so they don’t scream about who gets each one, ASK ME HOW I KNOW.
Chl says
We love the Uniqlo pile lined sweatpants
DC fun day says
Ideas for a fun day (or maybe half day) with an almost-three-year-old in DC? Thinking of something special to do for some quality time after a flu shot, without younger sibs. DD was a Covid baby, so we’re a blank slate; was thinking of doing the zoo and then a restaurant (which?) for lunch, then back to daycare, but would love any suggestions.
Anonymous says
Flu shot + zoo + restaurant seems like way too much for a half day , unless everything is really close together, including your home.
Duke’s Counter at the top of the zoo has great food and is kid-friendly.
Other ideas– children’s museum downtown, any of the Smithsonians.
A says
I’d just get take out bagels at Baked by Yael and eat at the zoo. Zoo is definitely enough.
anon says
I was about to suggest Wegmans Wonderplace (in NMAH) as great for that age and likely to be much less crowded on a weekday, but apparently it’s closed.
DLC says
The Building Museum’ Play Work Build room is fun.
Anon says
yesterdays posts about kids and friendships got me thinking. how do you teach kids when it is appropriate to play only with whom you want to play and when it is not. for example, if two kids are playing at school, and a third kid asks if he/she can play with them, assuming they aren’t playing a two person board game, it seems really mean for those two kids to say no, but at the same time, what if those kids don’t really like that third kid for whatever reason or just want to play the two of them. when is it ok to say no and when is it not.
Anonymous says
Always ok to say no. Never okay to do so unkindly. But fortunately I’m not the teacher and this isn’t my job.
Anon says
i don’t know if i agree with that. if two kids are playing with blocks at school and a third kid comes over to ask to build blocks too, the blocks don’t belong to those kids, so it seems inappropriate for them to say, no you can’t play with the blocks
Anonymous says
We don’t have to agree. But I’m never comfortable teaching my child they have to be friendly just because someone else wants to be.
Anon says
but in the situation of some area/toy at school, it’s not like the toy belongs to them. it belongs to the classroom. obviously it is not like one kid can just come and take a toy from someone else. but if there is a block corner, for two kids to commandeer all the blocks, seems off?
anon says
There’s a difference between saying “I want to play blocks by myself ” (but you can play blocks too, just not with me) and “You can’t play with any blocks” (which belong to the classroom).
Anonymous says
It is so aggressively American to see this as an ownership rights of blocks issue.
Anonymous says
Agree. If at daycare and two kids sit down to play blocks, they don’t own all the blocks. Another kid can sit and play blocks but the first two kids don’t have to build with third kid. They do have to share the total number of blocks. But usually daycares have enough supplies that this isn’t an issue.
Anonymous says
This right here.
Anonymous says
OK to say no politely unless it is a situation where there is one semi-organized group and excluded kids don’t have any other options, like a party or scouts.
Anonymous says
We told our kids it’s always kind to include kids because they would want to be included but they can always say no. We practiced phrases like ‘Can I play too?’ if they want to play and saying no gently like ‘I’ll play xyz with you after I play abc with Kid’.
Anon says
That is… not saying no
Anonymous says
For girls, I get fleece lined leggings (old navy, H&M, gap usually have these). They are good for under snow pants and warm enough for the bus stop on most days.
My girls also wear jeans vs leggings on chilly days when they won’t be in snow pants at recess.
Sweaters- H&M, target, Abercrombie,
Hoodies & sweats- sports team stuff and vacation hoodies. My girls have sweats from various sports and hoodies from cape cod/Colorado/wherever.
Anonymous says
This is age dependent IMO. Preschool? Y’all play together unless someone is being unkind. Find a way to play together (hum along to Daniel tiger).
In elementary, I have always coached my girls to help others feel included and welcome even if they are not ready to play with them *right this second.* “You can have next turn!” can work, as does “we are finishing up our [super secret just us two] thing but can we all do [group thing] next?”
In my 3rd grader’s class there is a Really Annoying Girl. She’s attention seeking and bossy and kinda mean. Nobody wants to play with her because she marches up and demands to be immediately included. I’ve worked with my daughter and her friends on being friendly and kind but not always having to play with Bossy Girl if she is being obnoxious. Over time (all last year), the girl has mellowed and made good friends with some specific kids, so it is now a much more peaceful recess.
Some of the girls were plotting “let’s run away and meet at XYZ so we don’t have to play with Bossy Girl.” Obviously that’s not kind. They used the “we are finishing up X but can play tag with you in a few minutes. Meet us at the slide?” And it worked really, really well.
Anon says
you sound like a wonderful mother. my kids are still in preschool, but i’m going to remember this for when we get to the elementary stage
NLD in NYC says
+1 Tucking this away until DS goes to elementary school
Anonymous says
My kid had a Really Annoying Girl (she had some sort of diagnosed issue that was not well managed) in her class. Because my kid is kind and concerned for others and gets along with everyone, the teacher assigned her to be Really Annoying Girl’s “friend.” Really Annoying Girl was bossy and mean and kept my daughter from spending recess with her actual friends. The school even made my daughter go to some of Really Annoying Girl’s sessions with the school counselor to be her partner for socialization practice and games. It was awful. I didn’t find out the extent of it until close to the end of the year, so I wasn’t able to put a stop to it. After that I made sure my daughter understood that she was not obligated to be “friends” with or play with anyone she didn’t want to play with, and I started asking a LOT more questions about what was happening socially at school.
Anonymous says
Oh no! I know the family of Bossy Girl well and it’s more of a “only child totally doted on and walks all over her parents and doesn’t have any actual friends and hasn’t been taught how to make them, also very young for her grade.”
A new family moved in across the street from her and the girls have hit it off. Now that Bossy Girl has a real friend, she’s heaps less annoying to be around for the rest of the grade.
Anon says
the way the school handled that situation sounds awful. there is a big difference between a school trying to facilitate social interactions for a student, and placing all of the responsibility for that on one kid
Anon says
Agreed. I feel for RAG, but totally not appropriate without expressed permission from you as the parent and your child (and even then not okay to burden one kid).
anon says
This is really good!
Anon says
I tell my 4 year old that she should let others play unless they’re being mean or actively bothering her. I like the distinction between friends and friendly. Friends are people you play with outside school and have at your birthday party. Friendly is what you should be to your classmates and new kids you meet at the park that aren’t (yet?) friends. You don’t have to be friends with everyone but you have to be friendly to everyone (unless the person is being unfriendly to you, in which case fine to ask them to leave or move away).
Anon says
i like this phrasing also. i am kind of surprised that someone above said that they teach their kid that they don’t have to be friendly. that seems rude to me.
Anonymous says
Agreed.
Anonymous says
Agree. If it’s a group of kids playing soccer at recess and a kid asks to play –and there is no obvious reason s/he can’t- then the friendly thing to do is include them. Even if there is a reason they can’t play (uneven teams?) then you can say “we have even teams but you can sub in!” or “if someone gets tired we will let you know, but could you be the ref until then?”
Anonymous says
A big group soccer game is very different from two kids playing together, which was the situation yesterday’s OP described.
Anonymous says
I think the “you must play with everyone” attitude undermines what we need to be teaching kids about consent and boundaries.
Anonymous says
Literally no one is saying ‘must play with eveyrone’? There’s a discussion on what the limits/expectations are and how to decline kindly. A general approach of kindness towards classmates is not a consent issue. Saying it is muddles the important of the concept of consent.
Anonymous says
Kindness = saying no politely. Kindness ==/== play with everyone who demands it.
Anonymous says
Again – literally no one is saying play with everyone who demands it
Anon says
I totally disagree that it is kind for a preschooler to refuse to play with a classmate during school hours. If you’re talking about an 8 year old who gets invited to a play date she doesn’t want to go on, yes I agree that saying no politely is all you need to do to be kind and she is under no obligation to be friends with someone she doesn’t want to be friends with. But a preschooler’s “job” is play and classmates are essentially colleagues. To me, a 4 year old refusing to play with a classmate during school hours is much more analogous to an adult refusing to work politely with a colleague they don’t like than it is to an adult declining a dinner invitation from someone they don’t want to be friends with. Both adults and kids get to choose their friends outside work/school but have to treat their colleagues and classmates kindly even if they have no interest in having a friendship with the person.
Anon says
Kids don’t get to choose their “workplace” at all, whereas adults can quit and find a new job with better coworkers.
Anon says
I mean, when has an adult ever quit their job because they had to work with someone they weren’t friends with? We all have lots of co-workers we don’t consider friends. I’m not talking about a bully or someone who isn’t doing their job. I don’t think anyone on this thread is saying a kid needs to play with someone who is being mean or negatively impacting the play. But collaboration with pleasant co-workers or classmates you don’t have any interest in being friends with outside of school or work is (imo) an important life skill for both children and adults, and in a preschool classroom the collaborative “work” is play. It’s different in elementary classrooms and beyond where play isn’t so central to the curriculum, which is why many people are saying age is an important factor here.
Anon says
i think as mentioned above, age matters too. for the preschool crowd, i do like the daniel tiger motto of “find a way to play together,” but there are still plenty of other opportunities to address/teach issues regarding consent. like grandma is leaving, do you want to say bye, wave bye or give a hug, etc. just like in that scenario even if grandma wants a hug, i’m not going to force my kid to give her one, but it is rude to just ignore someone.
Anonymous says
I think there are plenty of ways to teach a preschooler consent without telling them it’s fine to exclude a kid who wants to join a group they’re playing with. People don’t get to touch you without your consent. People don’t get to knock over your blocks or change your pretend game. People don’t get to call you names. But if someone asks nicely to join a group that’s playing together. That’s basic kindness, not lack of personal boundaries. At least at preschool age.
A says
I think it’s really important to learn how to be part of a group, especially for girls. That means including others, connecting, figuring out play that works for the group, having kids want to play with you. Everyone should be kind, and aim to include, but any everyone must include everyone ethos simply doesn’t seem to help develop these essential social skills to me. I want my kid to learn how to behave so kids want to include her and how to kindly veer away from those who don’t treat her well.
Anonymous says
Has anyone heard of SafetyPIN for background checks? Our new babysitter has it, so I was able to see that they had checked her record, but I’m interested in others’ experience.
anon says
I’m in California, and it seems like LiveScan (or whatever it’s called for nannies—same system for teachers, lawyers, nannies) is the gold standard since it’s based on fingerprints and government records. Also, once the nanny has been printed once, it’s free.
I’d supplement if the nanny had spent significant time out of California or I had special concerns like driving, though.
Anon says
I’m almost 34 and considering TTC. My PCP said I “shouldn’t wait any longer” and that she “strongly recommends trying ASAP to reduce risk.” I’m in public health myself and I understand the research about declining fertility and “advanced maternal age,” but still, I thought that language seemed a little strong when I had told her I was still undecided (it’s not like I confirmed want to have kids and am stalling). I feel like I know plenty of women who didn’t get serious about thinking about TTC until my age or older. What have you all heard from your doctors about risks associated with age? Are most advising not to wait?
anon says
Medically she’s right. Now is better than later if you are going to TTC. And if you happen to have trouble, there’s more time to get any issues sorted if you start now. If you aren’t going to TTC, then obviously you can ignore her advice.
I’d also consider if there is something about your medical history that made her more strident.
Anonymous says
Yes I agree. Anectdotally, in my friend group everyone I know who tried to have a first child after age 35 needed some sort of medical assistance.
Anon says
It’s certainly more likely to need medical assistance but the majority of 35-40-year-olds who try will get pregnant on their own so I think your friend group was more unlucky than most.
NYCer says
+1. I have lots of friends who got pregnant naturally (and easily) after age 35. That being said, what OP’s doc said is definitely medically accurate.
Anon says
did she say what kind of risk she is referring to? there is the increased risk of complications both to the mom and child when over 35 and the risk that it will be harder to get pregnant. there are enough unwanted children in this world – you should wait until you are ready to try because it could always happen on the first try, but for many people it also doesn’t
Anon this to says
This is so true. We dealt with years of infertility in my early 30s. Yet somehow I accidentally became pregnant (a desired but unexpected and poorly timed pregnancy) at 38. Life is weird.
Anonymous says
34 is definitely in the territory of not waiting if this is something you want. Every year makes a difference. Some women will get pregnant naturally into their late 30s and even early 40s without delay or intervention but it is certainly less common that late 20s, early 30s.
Don’t have a kid if you’re not sure but once you are sure, delaying does matter in terms of likelihood that you may need interventions to get pregnant.
Boston Legal Eagle says
The reality is that egg quality declines with every year. This doesn’t mean that you at 38, 39, 40 etc. won’t get pregnant, but statistically a 30 year old will have an easier time getting and staying pregnant than a 40 year old. You can ask your doc to check your particular levels to see if you have higher risks or worse egg quality, if that helps in your decisionmaking, but if you think kids are in your future, I agree that you should start trying now.
Anonymous says
My obgyn also used this kind of language with me six years ago. I was 30. It was very off-putting, but I had undiagnosed PCOS and endometriosis, so unfortunately she wasn’t wrong. However in my particular case, I think I would have had to get pregnant at 19 to overcome PCOS related pregnancy challenges. Good luck to you. If you decide to go for it, I hope it takes you less than six months!
Anon says
This was me exactly! I even put it off another 6 months out of spite, but then ended up having to get fertility help anyway. Wish I wouldn’t have waited, and I know it was based on an arbitrary work goal that I now cannot even remember.
Anonymous says
This may depend on your life state. If you are in a position to have children, I would also advise you get going. Obviously if you are waiting for a partner then it isn’t a great time.
I had my first at 29 and my last at 34. I’m 39 now and so glad that phase is behind me. I have many friends that have had children in late 30s and early 40s and every one of them would recommend “as early as possible.”
Aunt Jamesina says
Meh, I obviously would have preferred to have had my kid earlier since three years of trying and treatments sucked, but I feel none of the sentiment that I’m behind or that it’s harder at 37 than it would have been at 33. Almost all of my friends became parents in their mid thirties and not earlier, so maybe that colors my perception.
But yes, OP, you’re getting to the point where you’ll want to make a choice if you really want to be a parent. Just an annoying biological reality. Maybe the last year you’d be able to get pregnant without intervention is 52. Or maybe it’s already passed. But there’s no way to know until you try.
Anonymous says
You may or may not know this but if you are delivering at age 35 or older you are considered a geriatric pregnancy.
anon says
I mean, she’s kind of right? Plenty of women have babies after 35, but you should not assume it’s going to be quick or easy at that point.
A says
Hate to add to the pile-on but I had my first at 36 and my second at 39 and OMG was it harder to conceive and harder on my body at 39. YMMV but also it may not.
AwayEmily says
YMMV is a good overall message from this. I had mine at 36, 38, and 41. Took me almost two years to get pregnant with my first, and one cycle to get pregnant with my third. Even if you don’t have any major barriers to fertility/pregnancy (I didn’t), it can still just kind of be a crapshoot each time.
anon says
She’s correct and this is just reality.
Anon says
I mean, I had my first at 30 (easily) but unexplained secondary infertility starting at 33 (now 35), so I too am in the camp of if you confirm you want to have kids, start now, and if you are not sure, know that it will (likely) be harder the longer you wait.
Anonymous says
This. My sister had her first relatively easily but there was a stillbirth and 4 miscarriages before her second. Sometimes the issue is not just getting pregnant but staying pregnant. The younger you start the more possible years you have.
Anon says
I think people are being unnecessarily alarmist. You are 33. No, you don’t have all the time in the world. But the clock doesn’t tick midnight at 35 either. And even if it did, that’s still two years away. At 33, I absolutely believe it’s important to be thinking about whether kids are something you want and working towards that if it is. But it’s hardly now or never and the statistics don’t say it is either.
Everything I’ve read suggests 37 is actually a more critical age than 35 and that for most women, you tend to get into “months matter” territory around 38. So again, not all the time in the world, especially if you decide you want multiple children. But it’s not tomorrow either. Take the time you need to figure out what you really want and don’t make this decision out of fear.
Anonymous says
But if she wants more than one kid and she’s 34 now – assume a yearish to get pregnant and then pregnancy/maternity leave she would be close to 36 with first baby and 37/38 with second which means a second may or may not happen without interventions.
Anon says
She doesn’t even know if she wants one kid now much less two! Much less whether it’ll take a year to get pregnant. There are no guarantees in life but I still don’t think you should rush into having one kid you aren’t ready for to up your chances of having two.
Anonymous says
I mean she’s correct. If you’re married stop faffing about and TTC. Why wait?
Anon says
Thanks all. I appreciate the responses! Food for thought as we continue to mull over what we want to do.
Anonymous says
You’re wasting time just start banging.
Anonymous says
I’m really surprised by these responses. In my circle of highly educated/career-oriented friends, I was the only person who started having kids before 34/35 (I was 32 with my first, 35 with my second). When I was having my second most of my friends were having their first. If you want more than one kid, then I think starting by 35 is a good idea, but if you only want one I wouldn’t worry for another couple years. That being said, obviously fertility changes quite drastically between 35 and 40, so I guess it’s really up to your risk tolerance of potentially encountering fertility issues if or when you do start to try.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It’s probably regional too – in my area and NYC/DC/other big cities, I was young at having my first at 29. In Utah or certain parts of the South, for example, I would be considered old.
Anonymous says
I’m in Boston and posted above that I had my first at 29 and my 3rd at 34. I was on the younger end but am def not the youngest mom in the room at things! I am more aligned age wise with my middle child’s friends’ parents but not always. Several of my friends from grad school have a child older than my oldest by a year or so.
FWIW DH and I both have grad degrees and I was a senior exec until very recently. Nothing about my child-having is relayed to my education.
Anonymous says
Culturally, At our PNW city private school I am, at 40, just about the youngest parent in the room at second grade back to school night. That really threw me for a loop since I was 32 when kiddo was born, not exactly on the young side!
Anonymous says
Waiting until age 35 to start having kids is why so many highly educated, career-oriented people have fertility issues, and also why they feel pressure to space kids very closely.
AwayEmily says
I think it’s a big generalization to say that people “wait” til age 35. Lots of people just don’t meet the person they want to have kids with til later in life. I got out of a horrible relationship at 30, met my husband at 31, got married at 33, started trying immediately and got pregnant at 35. There was no “waiting,” just…life. Similarly, most of the people I know who had their first kids in their mid-30s also got married in their mid-30s.
Anonymous says
Yeah but this poster seems to be happily married to a man! And if she wants kids it is time.
Anon says
But also there’s nothing wrong with waiting even if you’re happily married. I got married at 24 and had my first and only child at 34. I have no regrets. And yes I conceived easily and was pretty sure I didn’t want more than one kid, and I might have had regrets if I’d fertility issues or decided after my first that I desperately wanted a second. But I also might have regretted doing it sooner. I think the fact that I had a decade+ of marriage to grow up, save money, and enjoy time alone with my husband has made me a happier and more well-adjusted mom (speaking only for myself – no judgment on anyone who took a different path). There are people who just don’t feel ready for kids in their 20s or early 30s even if they think they will eventually want kid(s) and that’s really ok.
Aunt Jamesina says
I’m in an area where my friends and I all waited until our mid thirties, but I think people are responding to OP’s question of whether it’s right that her doctor warned her that her chances will decrease with age. That’s a biological reality. Of course many people have kids past that age with few/no issues, but if you’re genuinely interested in the *possibility* of having biological kids and you’re in your mid thirties, you should figure out relatively soon whether you want to go down that road or not if you want to leave that possibility open.
Anonymous says
YMMV of course but I was pregnant at 31 and 34 and I notice the difference in how easy my pregnancy was and how quickly I recovered at 31 vs 34. Would not have wanted to try to get back into my sport if I’d had a late 30s pregnancy. Being active in my sport is important to my non-mom identify. Currently 42 and I would not want to have dealt with pregnancy in the last two years for sure.
anonamom says
Huh. You are probably not in good shape or health then. I had my first at 37 and my second at 41 and I did fine, as did the babies. No issues at all other than regular first trimester sickness. At 31, I was traveling around Europe and at 34, I was swimming at a fancy hotel in Palm Springs. I would not have wanted to deal with pregnancy then!
EDAnon says
That’s so rude. Peoples bodies are different and how they handle and recover from pregnancy varies, even when people are healthy and in good shape. I have always been active and healthy. My pregnancy at 33 was harder than at 31. The birth was hard and the recovery was hard. You made a choice that worked for you and what you value. She made a choice that worked for her and what she values. Why did you have to insult her?
Anon says
I think a lot of this is second pregnancy vs first pregnancy more than age? It’s hard to separate them since you’re always older with a second pregnancy. I only have one kid (who I had at 34, with a very easy pregnancy, delivery and recovery despite the fact that I’m not particularly athletic) but it seems like it would be much more exhausting to be pregnant with a toddler or preschooler underfoot. Fwiw I have several friends who had one or two kids in their late 30s or early 40s and none of them seemed to have major issues although everyone found the second pregnancy march harder due to the demands of the existing child.
Potty Training Help says
Please send me all your potty training advice! I am having some anxiety about starting the process (not helpful, I know) and have tried to put it off for as long as I could, but DS is showing interest in it at school so now seems to be the right time. He is 2 and will be moving up to the next class in a few days where they will be encouraging potty use more.
anonM says
Question on “normal” range. My 4.5yo is in his second year of Montessori preschool (same daycare center that he’s been at, but during the school year it is more formal). Last year was hard. He didn’t want to go, he was often upset, said he had no friends, was hitting and disruptive, and we had kind of major communication/expectation hurdles with that teacher, plus he was a year younger! We had him moved to a different teacher this year, and wonderfully it seems so much improved. He wants to go, tells me he has fun, tells me everyone is his friend, and the teacher communicates regularly and positively with us. All great and SO different from last year.
Today we got an email about his behavior, saying he sometimes walks around and has to be re-directed to his “work.” I’m not worried about that part, so long as he’s not disruptive. But she also seems concerned, saying that if she corrects another student he will laugh and repeat the unwanted behavior. She gave the example of her telling student A to stop pulling at the velcro on their shoe, and my son will laugh and start doing it too.
I’m not sure what to say or how to gauge this, as I’ve got a sample size of 2 kids, not 20/year. Am I being dismissive or too lenient with him if I don’t think this is a big deal, especially compared to last year? Wait and talk at conferences next month? Are the signs of something (my sister, and probably my DH, have ADHD)? Thoughts?
Anonymous says
is Montessori style a good fit for him? it sounds like he is acting out to receive attention? would be happier at a playbased center or something with more outdoor focus like a forest preschool?
AwayEmily says
This seems totally normal and like something that the teacher should deal with, not you. Could he be bored? I know lots of kids adore Montessori and we toured a couple but I think my kids would have been super bored in it (not because they are geniuses — far from it — but because they are both more interested in, like, running around playing weird pretend games with their friends than in doing formal activities).
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree, sounds within the range of normal. How formal is Montessori? I know my oldest would have not done well at a structured school at that age – he had a hard enough time transitioning to K at 5 after a mostly play based daycare.
Anonymous says
This is a classroom management issue for the teacher to solve in the moment, not something a parent can solve with lectures or behavior management techniques outside of the classroom.
And maybe Montessori is not a good fit. It certainly wouldn’t be a good fit for my kid.
Anonymous says
The repeating the bad behavior (for attention, to be funny, for no apparent reason) is super annoying but on my sample set it is not abnormal. My kid who did that in preK (or riled up the whole class to break the rules, on purpose) is now a model student in elementary, fwiw.
But the needing to be working on your work is a major reason I did not sent my kids to Montessori. You may, however, feel the philosophy aligns with you better than I do.
Anonymous says
Honestly sounds like Montessori isn’t right for him at all.
Anon says
This seems totally normal to me. We just visited my best friend (we both have 4.5 year olds) and the kids hit it off immediately and my kid started copying all the naughty things the other kid was doing (other kid was taking the lead on bad behavior because it was his house and he was more comfortable acting out). The kids both thought it was hilarious. Their parents not so much :) But we’ve never had issues with teachers at daycare and I don’t think it’s developmentally inappropriate at all at this age.
I agree with everyone else that maybe Montessori is not the best fit for your family. I’ve always been wary of it and don’t think it would be a good fit for my energetic, imaginative kid.