Family Friday: Shape Sequence Sorting Set
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This game is one of our favorite puzzles, and both boys have gotten a lot of play out of it over the years. It takes a little bit of maneuvering and figuring out, but they’ve enjoyed it. The good-quality, brightly colored wooden blocks help teach the shapes and colors — so you can play with it at that level, too. It can run the gamut from just putting the triangle shape in the triangle space to actually figuring out how to use the short, medium, and tall blocks. It’s $12 at Nordstrom Rack and also available at Amazon. Shape Sequence Sorting Set
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I came across this article (link to follow) and I could have written every word of it. No matter how many times I explain that when he doesn’t do housework I feel overwhelmed, unseen, abandoned, like my time isn’t valuable, and like he doesn’t love me, he continues to think what I care about is clean dishes. It is so not about the dishes. And his defensive response — spot on! But every working married woman I know (every single one…well, except my one friend whose husband is a SAHD, but all the others) has the exact same complaint. The exact one. So what’s the answer? This article basically throws up its hands and says well let’s train the next generation better. But I know that I wind up resentful, b—chy, angry, and unloved *now*. Does anyone have an answer?
I’m your husband. I went solo (not law) two years ago with the expectation that it would be part-time work and I would be the SAH parent- with childcare. So I work/bill 10-30 hours/week. We have 20 hours a week of standing childcare and a flex arrangement for when things pick up.
It’s hard for DH, who is always at work and who is the primary breadwinner and insurance carrier.
I just need to vent! I was so grumpy yesterday because the burden of being the primary breadwinner really hit me hard. My husband hung out his shingle on a part-time consulting business about 6 years ago. His business ebbs and flows unpredictably, so we have a nanny Mon-Thurs. the whole day In my more rational moments, I appreciate how the amazing flexibility he has working for himself makes it easier for me to be a BigLaw attorney. I don’t have to worry about covering nanny sick days, my own travel days, and getting home in time to cook dinner, etc.
But yesterday, I had to work from home due to commuting issues, and coincidentally he decided to take the day off to pursue one of his hobbies. It made me SO. MAD. to realize that my personal fantasy of having a day off work while not being on kid duty is basically any given Monday – Thursday for him. I get practically no me-time or free time to pursue any hobbies of my own, other than reading before bed, and it just really got to me yesterday. I wish I could kick back and give myself days off, and get to spend more time with the kids while HE goes and works full time and worries about billable hours, and does the emotional/mental labor for the family.
And today he decided to take the kids to a pumpkin patch, and is texting me complaints about how the place is tiny and the food sucks, etc. All I can think is: gee, I’m so sorry your outing isn’t turning out to be as fun as you had hoped while I am here at work.
GRRRR!!
For those who have an au pair or nanny, how do you handle their vacations? Do you just take leave yourself while they’re away? Or do you have some sort of back-up you can use? My MIL usually can watch our kids while our au pair is on vacation, but she has some health issues and it really tires her to have two little kids full time for a week at a time. I just am not sure how to find someone to fill in just for two weeks a year. Do we just have to s-ck it up an use our vacation time to stay home with them?
The thread above mentioning a mother’s helper reminded me of a question. My twelve year old would love to be a mother’s helper and has taken the Red Cross babysitting class online. He has cards that say “First name’s household help”, which we have given to the neighbors and my colleagues, and no one calls. (Well, we did get a lot of calls for snow shoveling during our one big storm last year.) How do we get more business for him? He is super with younger kids.
Has anyone done those personalized melamine plates with their kids, where the kid’s drawing is made into a plate? Where can I get one of those?
I’d like to do the Teal Pumpkin thing this year, although I don’t know much about it. I can paint a pumpkin teal and have non-food treats available – is that all I need to do? I’ll keep them in a separate bowl from the food so they don’t cross-contaminate. Any recommendations on what is a “good” non-food treat?
On day 5 of a month-long solo parenting stint, work is piling up and crazy right now because of giant conference next week, and toddler decides to wake up a zillion times last night and be awake from 4-5.30 (but needing to be touching me the entire time). It’s Friday and I’m looking at a weekend full of work at naptime and at night.
I have a lot of sweet SAHM friends with similar-aged kids who’ve offered to take the kid for playdates. But I actually like hanging out with my kid, he’s sweet and funny and active and has a great sense of humour. I don’t get to see him awake enough during the week. It’s all the other sh*t – having to clean the house, do laundry, do dishes – that stresses me out. But I can’t really ask them ‘can you do my laundry?’…
I’m just so tired. I work full-time and have a 1.5 hr commute each way. I run our household and help my parents often with my grandmother (who has ALS). My husband helps clean and will generally do what I ask, but honestly, I’m just tired of asking. We are TTC (#2) and my husband implied (and apologized later) that I won’t be the best mom if we have another because I’m already at my limit.
I feel that I’m always taking care of someone and I want someone to take care of me. Am I alone in feeling this way?
I am two months postpartum and found out that I have diastasis recti, about 2 fingers worth (I learned about the condition on this s i t e!). I see that there are many programs to choose from online: MuTu, Restore Your Core, One Strong Mama…on and on. Which one would you recommend?
I also would like to get in better shape in general and have about 25 lbs to lose. Are the dia programs compatible with normal exercise? I know I should check in with a doctor – I did – and they have little info. Basically, at my 6 week check up my midwives said that I am good to go and thats about it. I hate postpartum care, because there really isn’t any!!
After months of worsening symptoms, my husband finally admitted he needed to seek help. He had had several appointments in the past two weeks with a psychiatrist and a psychologist – the initial diagnosis is OCD and anxiety and he’s started taking lorazepam and prozac. I can already see improvements and am super proud of him for taking hard steps to get better.
But i am also devastated bc we decided less than 2 months ago to start TTC and he told me last night he thinks we need to push pause. And rationally, i get it and agree. But we are also 37 and waiting makes me scared. And i am concerned about the effects of the drugs on his fertility.
Stories from the trenches, please?
Thanks all for your thoughts on pumping at work. I will be pumping in a shared lactation room, so I will be able to use the fridge in there. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to store my pump at work, so I will need to transport my pump each day. I bought a cheap tote to transport it since I couldn’t justify spending $180 on a bag I may only use for a couple months. Now to just mentally prepare myself for being away from my daughter all day. . .