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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Closet Redux says
How do you deal with strong parent preference toddler phases?
My 2.5 year old only wants mama– to get her up from bed, to make her breakfast, to read to her, to bathe her, to pick her up… the works. Obviously this is exhausting and annoying, plus we’re expecting a new baby in a few months and want her to adjust to mama’s time being shared. Right now, we basically tell her that she doesn’t get to decide, e.g., you can walk or dada will pick you up but mama is not going to pick you up (and other such choices between dada or nothing). She yells, No, only mama! when my husband does any of these things with her and her crying sometime makes me crack and say, I’ll just do it, even when I am super tired or touched-out. I feel bad for my husband for having to deal with her rejection and crying.
Notably, she’s perfectly happy with him when I’m not around. He spends alone time with her after daycare before I get home from work for about a half hour every day and they do all the things that she insists I do when I’m around.
Should I spend more time away to give them more one on one time? Hold firm to the line that we decide who will accompany her and her screams won’t make us cave? Or let her get her way in these last months of being an only child? It doesn’t need to be said, but I love spending time with my kiddo, I just would also love not to be the one to wipe her butt EVERY. SINGLE .TIME.
pockets says
My vote is more alone time with dad. My daughter had a strong dad preference at 1.5, then I lost my job and stayed home with her for 6 months, after which she prefers us equally. By which I mean, there are still times when she insists that my husband or I do something, but half the time she wants me and half the time she wants him.
mascot says
We went through a serious mama preference with my son from birth to about 3. My poor husband had to really struggle with not feeling hurt. Can you each spend time with her where you just focus on her to “fill her cup” so to speak. Even 15 minutes of reading, playing, coloring together can help her. Can he have a special trip that he does with her that is their time- getting breakfast on Saturday mornings or something? She’s probably also going through that phase where she wants to make her own choices about things so giving her some limited autonomy in other areas (red shirt or blue shirt, you pick) might help.
It got better but I know it’s hard.
TBK says
I vote hold the line. My kids are the same age and are in a strong mommy stage. I don’t think that it’s helpful for her to think you’ll give in if she screams enough because in a few months when the baby arrives, the screaming won’t work anymore and I’d think that would be even harder for her. It’s definitely hard. One of mine had a 30 min screamfest this morning when I left to run with the dog and didn’t take him along. I figured he’d calm down after I’d left, but nope, screamed for me THE WHOLE TIME. My poor husband was not happy when the dog and I got back.
POSITA says
My 2.5 year old did this a lot, except get preference seemed to shift back and forth oN her whim. We tried to let her have a choice of which parent when it didn’t really cause a problem. It’s tough to be a little kid with no control. But when there is a reason for a certain parent to help her, we tell her the reason (e.g., mommy is sick right now, Daddy has to help you) and then hold firm regardless of how much she screams. She just turned 3 and it’s gotten much better. Not perfect, but better.
It sometimes also helped to give her the choice between waiting and letting the second-best parent help. (E.g., Mommy is busy unloading the dishwasher right now. You can wait for mommy to be done in a few minutes or let daddy help you right away.)
Samantha says
Both my kids did this. IME kids “like” the person who spends the most time with them the best. So it becomes a self-propagating preference when they have a lot of mommy time, to request more mommy time.
My big suggestion is to have dad spend more 1-1 time with her, say on the weekends. Related suggestion is for dad to be the “fun” guy – even if he spends less time with her overall, he does exciting stuff with her, so this may get her to want to do more stuff with him.
At this stage my DH got a parent+child membership to a nearby kids museum and they went there for a couple of hours every saturday morning. This was great for some R&R for me, plus it got to be a fun outing that kiddo enjoyed a lot and asked for and looked forward to. Frees you up to prep for baby if you need, or just get some sleep in.
Frame the choices as – go out with dad or stay home with mommy. Walk holding mom’s hand or sit on dad’s shoulder and get an awesome view. Fold laundry with mom or play hide and seek with dad – you get the idea!
TBK says
Travel advice needed! We’re flying to Boston this weekend with the kids (2.5 yo twins). Their car seats are Britax Boulevards and they are huge and heavy. I’m getting the dimensions of the seats from the airline to confirm that the seats will fit in the plane seats, but I’m wondering how to lug the seats through the airport (in the past we’ve checked them since the kids were young enough to sit on laps). We’ll have the kids in a double stroller and have checked all the luggage, but I’m flying with my 90 lb au pair and my MIL who isn’t supposed to lift anything over 10lb due to hip issues. I can’t physically carry both car seats myself, and there’s no real way to put them on the stroller (double City Mini GT — no good storage and certainly not for two giant car seats). What should I do? I’m willing to check the seats (no, I’m not worried about them being thrown by luggage handlers; a car crash is MUCH more force than even a strong man throwing something heavy), but not sure about having the kids in the seats with just the lap belts. They’re skinny little guys, and also I think they’re more likely to be content in their car seats than sitting in a plane. I looked into the CARES harness but they’re $150 each! I can’t see paying that amount of money for just a strap. Even luggage carts are like $80 each. Is there a better solution?
pockets says
I flew with my 2 yo and she had her own seat with no carseat. It was fine. Check the carseats.
TBK says
Thanks. Got the dimensions for the plane seats and there are no car seats that would fit. The seats are 17.7″ wide and our car seats are 19″. We had looked at some lightweight and inexpensive ones from Walmart, but even those are 18″.
JEB says
I was just about to recommend the Cosco Scenera Next, but it sounds like you already checked into that. Is it a really tiny plane?
JEB says
Well darnit, I just looked at the scheduled planes for an upcoming trip I’m taking, and despite being fairly large planes, the seat width is 17.3. Who knew…
Anon in NYC says
We bought this car seat for travel purposes, and I think from armrest to armrest it is 17″ and it is very light. https://www.amazon.com/Evenflo-Tribute-Convertible-Seat-Saturn/dp/B006PB2B6O. It worked in a standard economy seat.
The CARES harness is $70 per harness (at least on Amazon) – not sure if you meant $150 for both but just wanted to make sure you knew that it was less expensive per person!
Canadian says
I am so jealous of your car seat prices. This exact seat is on Amazon Canada for like $300 instead of the $45 on Amazon!
pockets says
My sister had a similar experience – she brought her carseat onto the plane and the seat fit (I guess), but the flight attendants told her that she couldn’t use the carseat. She tried to argue but they were firm. She had to then gate-check the carseat, which delayed the flight and made everyone (in her opinion) hate her.
JEB says
I bring a printed copy of the FAA guidance, as well as the airline rules, with me when I fly (or I have it loaded on my phone). That’s terrible!
Anons says
I am the same as JEB. I save the documentation to my phone. I personally would also play my lawyer card. I usually don’t, but threats of a lawsuit would be made. Honestly, though, my sibling works in national transportation safety and sees the turbulence injury reports, and I would get off the plane before I would let my baby fly without a car seat.
Lurker says
Was the FA saying no car seats at all or just that the one you had wasn’t good enough.
Momata says
Are you able to get to your accomodations without using a carseat (e.g., hotel shuttle, public transit)? If so, and you need a carseat thereafter, I would order two very cheap carseats off Amazon and have them shipped to your destination, then just leave them there. Kids can sit in their own seats on the plane without carseats, and then you won’t have to schlep them.
Closet Redux says
My (petite) 2 year old flies without a carseat, too. I hate lugging carseats (plus your carry-on, plus your kids!), and my kiddo really loves being able to peer out the window, play peek a boo with the row behind us, etc.
I have seen people with roll-carts for carseats, like this:
Closet Redux says
https://www.amazon.com/BRICA-Roll-Car-Seat-Transporter/dp/B0074JKQ0Y
Closet Redux says
Or if you have roller-bags, a cheap strap like this is an option:
https://www.amazon.com/Traveling-Toddler-Seat-Travel-Accessory/dp/B000JHN3AS/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1472483127&sr=8-1&keywords=carseat+roller+for+airport
NewMomAnon says
I used one of the straps one a few recent air travel trips – I didn’t need a stroller, so I just used the car seat/luggage combo to get through the airport. And then gate-checked both the seat and the luggage, because who has the brain capacity to install a car seat in an airplane while also managing a small impatient person who wants to run up and down the aisles? I can’t even imagine how that would look with two small impatient people….
The strap I used was good, but not fail-proof. It dislodged partially once and I had to re-position it. And I was a little concerned about whether my luggage was strong enough to handle the seat + child combo. But it was a great, cheap way to get everyone from point A to point B.
Pogo says
Going to say that I see these roller thingies quite a bit, too. Might be worth the investment if you think you’ll be travelling with carseats multiple times.
AnonMN says
Typically the carseats will have a little airplane symbol on them to show whether they are FAA certified to fit. We flew with our Britax Marathon, and while it was a beast (you have no idea how much I sweated getting that thing in), it fit. We have the Britax Car Seat Bag (ordered from amazon $56) that has wheels. I like it even we are checking the seat as it keeps somewhat protected. The wheel bag would allow MIL or Au Pair to pull the car seats on wheels.
I really like having the car seat on the plane, as it keeps the kids contained, BUT i decided once my son was 2 that it wasn’t worth the hassle of bringing the seat on the plane, so we just had him sit in the normal seat and he was fine.
Jen says
I would curb check the car seats and put the kids in seats. My 3 y/o has flown a few times a year since birth and hated the car seat in the plane after 18 mos. at 2.5 she wanted to look out the window etc. it’s a short flight, so hopefully they won’t drive you nuts esp with all the adult backup.
Why didn’t you take the train? IMHO much less work and how we do all our BOS to DC travel.
TBK says
The train is much more expensive.
Car Seat Travel Cart says
For this trip I’d check the car seats and use the airplane seats (possible with CARES Harness if you want)
For the future, especially longer trips if you are by yourself and need to deal with two kids on your own – check the stroller with the luggage (NOT gate check ) and use car seat travel carts – Britax even makes a specific own for their seats – they are designed for the kids to ride in the car seats while getting pulled through the airport. Pull one with each hand + wear a backpack and you’re good to go for traveling on your own with twins.
TL; DR Google Britax Car Seat Travel Cart and buy two
TBK says
The guy from the airline didn’t feel like looking up the seat dimensions for me so he told me I could “use the car seats in the terminal and then gate check them if they don’t fit.” What? How do you “use” a car seat in a terminal? I had already said I didn’t want to lug them through the airport if it wasn’t necessary. He finally went and looked up the info for me but seriously? What is your job if it’s not to get information for passengers when they call you?
Car Seat Travel Cart says
you use them by wheeling them along in a Britax car seat travel cart
Jdubs says
I once saw a family at the airport with 2 kids + 2 car seats all riding in one of those fold up wagons which they then gate checked which I thought was genius. Also, I would be very surprised if a cosco scenera didn’t fit in an airline seat (even a small one). We use ours for traveling because the Britax are BEASTS! I am also a big fan of brining car seat on board since my kiddos tend to do better when they are strapped in… the small airline lap belt doesn’t signal to them that it is time to sit still like they 5 point harness does
Anons says
What is this magical fold up wagon?!
Jdubs says
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BUUUIGK/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472524815&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=foldable+wagon&dpPl=1&dpID=413EBe0TWZL&ref=plSrch
EB0220 says
Personally – I almost never travel w/ carseats and never use them on the plane, but that’s an individual decision. You can get a rolling travel cart for the carseast, which is probably the best way to carry them. You’ll most likely still have to carry them onto the plane, though, and that will be a headache while also trying to wrangle the kids.
TK says
I bought a CARES harness and my 2.5 year old refused to wear it. Money well spent. He did okay with just the airplane seatbelt, better with a portable DVD player loaded with Toy Story and an endless supply of snacks.
Good luck.
Anonymous says
We flew with our car seats one time and strapped them to our roller bags. It was a little awkward because sometimes they kind of slipped off, but it worked well enough. I prefer to just check them though.
AnonMN says
No real advice needed, but I just dropped my 6 month old off at his first day of daycare (after being with a nanny for the summer). I forgot how hard that is with babies (I have an older son, so thought it would be easier, ugh). I know he’s fine, but my inner type-A is all: “they don’t know what he likes” “they don’t know how to rock him”, etc. etc. etc.
And now I remember why my husband always does drop-offs.
Momata says
It is so hard. Big hug. They really are more resilient than their mamas, and to me one of the perks of daycare is that they become more adaptable because not everything is “just so.” Plus they are babywhisperers and will figure out what he likes and how he likes to be held.
Clementine says
Ouch. Clueless coworker just asked if husband and I are planning on having more kids (I had a hysterectomy after freak postpartum complications.)
This is someone I’ve worked with for a number of years, so I told him in a straightforward manner that we were interested in being foster parents and that I had gotten very sick after baby was born and as such, would not be having any more bio children.
I also told him it was inappropriate to ever ask and that this is why. Freakin a, man. In the last week, three people have whined to me that they’re pregnant again ‘already’. When it rains it pours.
Oh, and the person I would normally vent to is also pregnant, so me saying ‘I am around all these pregnant people and it’s really hard for me,’ is not really in the cards.
Ugh. Thanks. Had to let it out or I’d be stewing all day.
PhilanthropyGirl says
I’m so sorry. How painful.
Also Not Pregnant says
I’m sorry. That sucks.
We’re one and done due to age, and while I’m made my peace with it and focus on the positives, it’s still a little stabby in the heart when someone asks when we’re having another…
Betty says
Oof. Ouch. It certainly does seem to come at you from every angle at times like these. It sounds like you did a masterful job of telling your coworker why those questions are inappropriate. Having that poise is impressive. Hoping your day goes up from here.
Pogo says
I hear ya sister. SO inappropriate to ask. I do not get why people think it is an OK topic to discuss someone else’s family planning. I hope the guy was embarrassed when you told him what the reason was!
Hugs.
RDC says
I’m sorry, that sounds really difficult. And good for you for saying something to the guy.
JayJay says
I’m so sorry. I’m glad you said something to him, though. That’s one less person in the world (I hope) that will ask these questions.
Navy Attorney says
Ugh, that sucks. And good for you for telling him it was inappropriate! Hopefully you’ve spared someone else the pain.
mascot says
Booster seat question- What seats do people like for carpool? We’ve got a Bubble Bum and it seems to work well, but we probably need another seat in the other car. These kids are still on the small/younger side (kindergarten).
Anonymous says
at kindergarten age I’d stick with a high back with a 5 point harness
mascot says
His regular seat is a highback with harness. This is more just to have an extra seat if we pick up a friend from school or if he’s catching a ride with someone else and needs to bring along a seat.
hoola hoopa says
We have the evenflo backless amp. While we’ve never needed the back, sometimes I wish we’d gotten the one with the back just for options, since it can also be used backless (my understanding, verify). It’s comfortable, inexpensive, and lightweight. It’s wider than the bubble bum, although it’s similar or narrower than other boosters. You may need to stick with BB if you need to get three across – but I’ve found the advantage of the width (besides cup holders) is the forcing of some elbow room in crowded rows.
If bubble bum is working for you, then I’d probably get another. Are you kids tall enough? (Actual question – I haven’t had the chance to try it out). I wasn’t sure my (then) small kindergartener would be tall enough for the belts to line up well. Otherwise, I probably would have gone with a BB.
mascot says
He’s tall enough for the BB – about 4 feet tall with a long torso. I’ll look at the Evenflo too.
NewMomAnon says
Soooo…..professional question. I was out Saturday evening on a professional networking dinner, and it became clear that my networking contact was going to drink a ton. I max out at 2-3 drinks over the course of a night, and even 3 drinks risks a hangover the next day(s); the person I was with hit 3 drinks in the first hour and a half of dinner, and proceeded to double that and then polish off a bottle of wine solo. And this person was a pushy drinker; constantly wanting to refill my drink, incredulous that I was drinking so slowly, teasing me about it, asking if I was pregnant, etc. I made it through 2 beers and then stopped.
This is a professional hang up for me; I avoid heavy drinking professional events usually, but the industry I’m in (i.e., mostly male) makes it almost inevitable that I’ll be in the situation at least a few times a year. My standard line is that I can’t risk a hangover with a kid in the house the next day, but the real answer is that I HATE being drunk. And I’d like to not bring up the kid in professional settings. How do you handle it when people push drinks on you, especially in a professional setting?
TBK says
Is this normal in your industry? I’m a lawyer and we’re known for drinking, but I’ve only been with someone who drank like that once or twice, and in each case it was widely known that the person had an alcohol problem. If people offer me another drink and I don’t want one, I say “I’m good, thanks.” If someone’s gauche enough to keep pushing, I think I’d just be honest “I don’t want anymore to drink, thank you. Why are you pushing me to drink more?” I’m not sure why you don’t want to bring up kids in a professional setting. I work with mostly men, most of whom are neither married nor have kids, and I bring up my kids whenever it’s relevant to the conversation. So “if I have another I’ll have a massive hangover and in my post-kid life, that just makes for a miserable Sunday!” I don’t see how that’s unprofessional. And once someone is drinking by my count a minimum of 10-12 drinks in an evening (!) and pushing drinks on you, you’re not the one being unprofessional by any stretch.
NewMomAnon says
I know, most people don’t drink that much, but I have to interact with certain financial products industry personnel once in a while, and they drink so much. I feel like such an amateur. As a younger lawyer, I would’ve gone 1:2 with them on drinks and just suffered the consequences, but I just don’t have the patience for that anymore.
And I try to leave out kids because these are mostly young, single, childless men (or once in a while a single, childless woman) or men who get to act like young, single, childless men. But maybe it’s OK to be myself and not try to be “one of the guys”? It’s so confusing.
TBK says
I totally reject the idea that being a mother makes me less professional. You’re not talking about having leaky b@@bs or asking for advice on diaper creams. If “I have a spinning class at 8:00am” would be an acceptable excuse, then “a small person is going to scream waaaay louder than any person that size has a right to scream at 6:00am” should be at least as acceptable.
JayJay says
Couldn’t agree more. I’ve told childless people before that they don’t know h*ll until they’re massively hungover and trying to entertain a toddler at 5:30 am. They never bothered me again about drinking more.
Jen says
“I’m driving” (are you?). “I have some
Thing early tmw AM”
Em says
I have the same limit as you and I just stop at “If I have another I will be paying for it tomorrow and the hangovers are wicked at this age.” No mention of kids, unless you want. It’s true hangovers suck worse when you are taking care of a kid, but I’m not willing to deal with the hangover even if my kid is at his grandparents.
Pogo says
This is so frustrating. I usually only have to deal with this when travelling, and in that case, having a kid at home doesn’t make any difference because you’re staying at a hotel by yourself! I say things like, “I’m such a lightweight, I’ll be useless tomorrow”, “I have to get my run in tomorrow morning before [meeting, event etc]”. In a one on one it’s hard, but in groups I just alternate waters so it seems like I’m drinking all night but half of it is water.
I had an experience recently where someone was trying to push drinks, and one of our salesguys who I had actually just met in person stuck up for me. I told the other guy, “No thanks, I’m good” and when he protested the salesguy was like, “Dude, she said she’s good.” It makes me so ragey that it takes another man sticking up for me to get someone to back off, but that’s how it is.
Anon says
Help! My toddler (about 20 months) is suddenly getting car sick. This happens even on short car ride 20-30 mins across town. Any tips? Next week, we rented a cabin in the country for the long weekend and I’m really looking forward to it, except there is a 3 hour car ride. I guess one reason that is that he doesn’t ride the car very often. We walk to and from daycare during the week, so he only gets a car ride once every weekend, or not even that. This started a few months ago. Before this, he was the perfect car baby and always fell asleep. I hate cleaning up vomit.
Betty says
I was that kid, and my youngest occasionally gets car sick. Is your toddler forward facing? I know the recommendation is to keep them rear facing as long as possible, but constant car sickness is a reason to go forward, in my book. Keep the car cold — as cold as you can handle. Ask your toddler to keep looking out the window and not down at books, toys, etc. (“do you see the red car/big tree/anything?”) For your drive, if you have a choice between hilly/curvy roads and straight interstate (even if it takes longer), choose the latter. Be alert for the beginning signs of carsickness: being hot, tummy feeling funny, even being hungry. We now pull over at the first sign and let our daughter walk around abit. Lastly, keep a puke bucket in the car.
Faye says
This. I switched my daughter to forward-facing after the 4th time cleaning up puke. I only had to do it one other time, after a 4 hour ride.
I wish there was an Emily-Oster-style-book for this car seat crap. I can’t tell what is fear-mongering and what is a real increased risk. I feel like it’s the same people who say “why take the risk of one bite of sushi” who also say “why turn them before they outgrow their seat? mine is still rear-facing at 4.” I’m all for being safe, but I don’t feel like sacrificing absolute safety for comfort/preference is always a Bad Thing. I mean, if I could get a 50% increase in comfort for only a 1% decrease in safety, why wouldn’t I do it???
mascot says
I think that they can actually quantify the risk a bit better for car seat safety since they can use crash test dummies and simulators in addition to reviewing the data from various accident reports. http://csftl.org/why-rear-facing-the-science-junkies-guide/
OP, can your child ride in the middle seat so he can see the horizon out the rear window?
Faye says
Thanks, but most of the studies seem to always have a footnote that the increased efficacy of RF is not statistically significant. Where it IS statistically significant is in side crashes, but at the time of the studied crashes, FF did not have the side wings so that is thought to be a contributing factor.
Or at least, that’s my non-statistician read. That’s why I wish for a real risk vs benefits type of parenting book that acknowledges that parents make tradeoffs all the time that impact safety and health, and discusses the real implications of those choices.
Anonymous says
Sweden found the data supported legal requirement for rearfacing to age 5. They had zero child car accident fatalities last year so it’s not all hogwash.
Try a Diono Car seat mirror if rearfacing – they are tilt adjustable so they can see you. Also, make sure it’s cool enough in the back. Rearfacing seats tend to block airflow so it can be significantly warmer in the back. We solve this by directing the vents and shutting off the ones in the front. We often have to wear a sweater to keep it cool enough for baby in the back to be comfortable in a t-shirt.
pockets says
Yes!!! I recently saw something on Facebook about how a 3yo walked away unharmed from a major crash because he was RF, with a reminder to keep kids RF until they’re like 10. The contraction in me was screaming, “But you don’t know what would have happened if he was FF! HEe could have also been fine!!”
pockets says
Contrarian, not contraction. My contractions don’t react to Facebook inanity.
In House Lobbyist says
We bought these throw up bags on Amazon that have saved us at least three times now. The kids like them since they are the expandable kind so they don’t have any trouble using them. My husband made fun of me for buying them but now all the cars are stocked with them. But they don’t usually get car sick so I don’t have any advice for you on that front. Have you looked at those seabands? It might be better than what my parents did before every road trip – Dramamine.
Closet Redux says
How about making the drive at night or naptime?
hoola hoopa says
One of mine started to get car sick at just around the same time. (Also around the time that we moved and started driving more than 10 mins at a time). We turned her around for car trips. She didn’t seem to mind going back and forth between RF and FF, although I think some of my other kids would. When she’s FF, put her in the middle if possible, so that she’s looking out the front window. Do not give her books. Be careful with snacks (generally sweet/chocolate = bad, bland or a bit sour = bad; think about what it will be like coming back up). Give her ice water. Try to drive when she’s sleeping.
I was (am) prone to car sickness as well. I 100% promise you that I prefer to be drugged than car sick. I’m not sure when you can start giving Dramamine, but don’t feel the least bit guilty about it (with the correct dose, obv).
Navy Attorney says
It’s often a problem between the brain and the eyes – the brain senses movement but the eyes don’t see it. Try hanging something your child can see that swings with the car movement. We take frequent breaks, drive slowly, don’t give her milk (even on a break), and always keep the air moving.
That said, for my friend it only happens when her kid looks out the window and thus didn’t show up until they turned her forward facing!
MDMom says
My kid doesn’t get carsick specifically (yet), but he pukes a lot in general. I just got a portable carpet shampooer and it makes cleaning up the vomit so much easier. Because it’s portable, it can be used for carseats, floor mats, fabric upholstery, etc…get one if you don’t already own one!
Maddie Ross says
By the grace of god, my toddler did not have car sickness issues, but I did as a child (so, so badly) and still do as an adult. Here are my suggestions — turn car seat around if you haven’t yet, if the car seat can safely be placed in the middle of the back seat so child can see out the windshield all the better. Dramamine is definitely toddler safe – ask your doc about dosing though. Drive at night as much as possible — car sickness is based on issues with focusing on the horizon and at night there’s no focal point, so it’s much easier. Driving in hazy weather is the absolute absolute worst for me – it still bothers me as an adult. Do not give her books. Do not give her an ipad or turn on a video on a car seat back. Find music she likes and just listen to it. Let her sip water. It won’t work at her age, but shortly giving her things to suck on will help (dum dums are probably the first thing that will work with her).
Maddie Ross says
PS – I also used to just get sick on trips across town as a child. I have no idea how my mom handled it, but I do know she always traveled with a back up set of clothes for me. And I also learned at a very early age how to recognize that I was going to be sick and request a bag. For long trips, be heartened to know that I usually would only get sick once or twice in the very beginning and be ok after that.
Anon in NYC says
On the bag front… My two nephews (now 5 and 6.5) both get car sick. My BIL has started saving all gift bags that he receives and leaving them open in the car between the two car seats. Then when the boys start to get sick (or feels sick) he tells them to place one of the bags in their lap. He says it’s easier than a plastic bag because it’s already open and they don’t have to fumble with it. I don’t know when he started being able to do that though – it might be too complicated for a 20 month old.
pockets says
My husband once got carsick and threw up in a plastic bag…that unbeknownst to him, had a huge hole in the bottom.
Anon says
Huma, good for you. I would not have been as forgiving for as long as you have been.
And Trump, STFU.
http://tinyurl.com/jrorwvb
MDMom says
I am also fascinated by her/them (mostly her). I had assumed they would divorce after the election, but I guess this forced her hand sooner. I feel so bad for their kid.
Samantha says
Question for the mamas of older kids: what is the usual practice at after school care? Is it a free for all or am I right in expecting more planned activities, art, maybe music, sports or organized playground games etc.? Or maybe somewhere in between?
My kid started kindergarten and while he loves it there, he doesn’t seem to like the aftercare. I dont like that he didn’t eat one bite of lunch the whole of last week (exaggerating – there was in fact one bite taken out of the cheese pizza one day in the week). Seems to be very open ended and he gets bored there.
Anonymous says
Mine does snack / homework in hour 1, outside/gym for 45 minutes, open-ended for next 45 minutes.
K kids w/o homework can be open ended in the first hour, but are encouraged to read also.
As the year unfolds, the make friends and can hang out a bit, like a large playdate.
I imagine it varies quite a bit.
mascot says
Our after-care is at our school. For kindergarten, it’s a bit of a free for all. At ours, they play- rotating between the playground/gym/classroom toys. They get a snack too. I think that the older kids may have a study hall period for homework. My kid has a lot of friends in the program so he is happy to romp around with them. I look at it as a daily playdate.
There are separate enrichment classes offered (at an additional cost) that the school coordinates- lego club, chess, sports, etc, but a lot of those start when the kids get to 1st grade and older.
MomAnon4This says
Ours was VERY supervised, even in kindergarten, with snack, and homework time, and playtime, and activity time like crafts and/or computers. There were classes/tracks available. Even at the one at the school, (as opposed to the community center) it is very supervised, with activities and structure.
TBK says
Curious — what do people with school-aged children do for non-school hours when you still have to work? When I was in grade school, there were very few options (which was why I ended up in private school — private school with optional programs until 5:30pm was actually cheaper than any of the afternoon daycare options). We’re assuming we’ll keep an au pair through kindergarten but not sure. And what do you do with summers?
Samantha says
My experience is just beginning with this but I think it splits up like this:
– Non-school hours but mostly regular working day (e.g. Friday afternoons): after school care
– Short school breaks e.g. spring break: after school care
– Summer vacation: summer camp or take time off work
– Weekend or national holiday but have work emergency: backup nanny or other parent
I’ve also seen people who have a younger sibling home with a nanny have the nanny pick up the older kid when school closes and then watch both.
mascot says
What you laid out is how we’ve handled the past few years.
It has really limited our camp choices in the summer since there aren’t a whole lot of full-day camps. and I think that is going to get worse as kiddo wants to do more specialty camps (9am-12pm soccer or whatever). I’m guessing for that we will fill in with parent vacation days or maybe find a part time sitter for those weeks. I’d love for him to do overnight camp in a few years, but those are not cheap.
Betty says
My experience is also just beginning, but here is what I am thinking and what other working parents do in our area: Our local rec program offers “vacation week” camps and summer camps that we will use. Rec also offers after school programs (lego club, soccer, etc.) that we will use. Other than that, I think my husband and I will swing time off to cover additional gaps.
Samantha says
Thanks everyone for your comments. I’ve reached out to the teachers to say that he is not super-happy and would they try to pair him up with other kinders so they start playing together more. Hope that helps.
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