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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
anyone have any suggestions for changing my 3 year old’s schedule to go #2. it is waking her (and us) up much earlier in the morning than she would otherwise wake up. this has been going on for the past month and that additional hour of sleep makes a huge difference for both her and us
Anonymous says
Later dinner?
Anonymous says
Going right after dinner works for our family. Up intake of water / dried fruits etc. to get her going more for a few days and then really focus on sitting for a good long while after dinner. Read stories in the bathroom. I would explain to her why you are doing this.
Anonymous says
I don’t think I’d try this. If the kid’s body is not ready to go, sitting on the potty and straining is just going to cause problems. People’s bodies are just different. I would try to figure out the kid’s trigger and then adjust the timing of the trigger. In this case it sounds like the kid is ready to go X number of hours after dinner or after going to bed.
OP says
what is strange to me is that this is new. kiddo never used to go first thing in the morning. can’t really do dinner any later bc kid is starving and exhausted and needs to get to bed
Anonymous says
Can you try an earlier dinner, then? Maybe there isn’t enough time between dinner and bedtime for kiddo to be ready to go before bed.
For my kid potty timing is 100% about mealtime.
Anonymous says
Honestly, this just sounds like one of thoses phases kids have that last a few weeks and then end without intervention. As annoying as it is, I’d probably just ride it out longer before trying to intervene.
anon in brooklyn says
Maybe try probiotic dummies?
Allie says
A little miralax before dinner? As your pedi first obvi.
Anonymous says
Prunes?
Anonymous says
pears, prunes and other stimulating foods, plus perhaps a walk after dinner?
Anon says
Suggestions for roller skates or roller blades for a seven year old? Also skates vs blades?
Anonymous says
For outdoor recreational use at that age, I’d start with the adjustable skates from Target. Roller Derby is one brand. They adjust to fit several sizes and you can switch from blades to quad. IME blades v. quad doesn’t make any difference in how difficult it is to learn to skate, so go with whichever one the kid prefers.
GCA says
If they’re also learning to ice skate, rollerblades are fine! That’s about where my 6yo is at. Staggering around an office park parking lot on the weekend on his rollerblades.
Anon says
i need a large rug for our playroom. i would go with ruggable, but their softest pad doesn’t come in the largest size (why i don’t know) and since we will be sitting on this rug a lot, i need it to be comfy to sit on. i’m not looking for the best quality ever, but something that will last the next 3-5 years at least. i have a house of noa playmat that i love the look of and i’d get another one of those, but all the tiles keep peeling. any ideas?
TheElms says
What about FLOR tiles? They are not soft themselves but you can put a squishy underlay under them (we just bought something on amazon). When something tragic happens you can pull up an individual tile and scrub it in the sink or if its irreparable just replace the tile (buy a few replacements when you place your initial order because shipping is expensive). I like white/cream rugs and with a toddler and a dog and cat this has made it possible to get a rug I want and not worry about it.
OP says
i thought about these, but some of the reviews say that they very obviously look like tiles and don’t stay together well? i know some people love them, but i think it will drive me crazy if i cant get them to sit right
TheElms says
Some patterns are more obviously tiles, but some look like regular rugs to me. But I agree if that kind of thing will drive you to distraction, these may not be the best choice.
Anon says
Mine stay together very well. I don’t mind the look whatsoever. It doesn’t look bad but you can tell there’s an underlying square/tile situation going on. I’d highly recommend. The whole point of getting them was durability in the playroom and I was willing to sacrifice perfection (ie no square undertones) for function.
Anonymous says
We’ve gotten rugs from overstock, and they’re totally adequate for a playroom. 3-5 years is about the lifespan, and with a good pad they’re fine to sit on. What if you just got another pad to supplement the less-comfy ruggable one? That’s too bad the softer pad doesn’t come in 9×12! We recently got an 8×10 ruggable rug + soft pad for our playroom, and I’m very happy with it a couple months in.
OP says
yes, it is so frustrating! can you do that with a ruggable? i thought they need to attach to their specific pads? any ideas of a pad that would work? for a rug you’ve purchased off of overstock – do you choose a pad through them too? (i’ve only ever purchased one rug and it was 9 years ago so i’m a total novice)
Anonymous says
You’d probably still have to use the less-soft ruggable pad, because yes, it’s got grippy stuff on top similar to velcro to keep the rug (which is more like tapestry fabric, not a rug with backing) from sliding around. But you could put a squishy one underneath the ruggable pad as a cushion, I think. That’s almost certainly a more expensive option than an overstock rug + a thick pad.
I think we bought the pad for our overstock rug separately, but Overstock might sell them. I’m pretty sure we just ordered ours from Amazon, but you could get one from Home Depot / Lowes, and probably any big box store, too.
AwayEmily says
An alternative idea: we ended up getting a not-soft rug (an indoor/outdoor one from Ikea, actually, with no rug pad) for our playroom and then supplementing with floor pillows/a beanbag for sitting. The kids much prefer the harder surface for racing cars, doing puzzles, building with blocks, etc, and my ancient bones like sitting on an actual cushion. Also the beanbags/floor pillows are helpful for traversing the room when the floor turns to lava.
AnonATL says
I only have the one toddler, but we have the basic rug and floor cushions too. We actually made our own floor cushions in a couple hours if you are somewhat crafty. Otherwise I’ve seen cute ones at target in both the kids decor section and regular decor area.
Anon says
I found a 100% wool rug with a style I liked on rugs.com. It’s held up for 10 years and still looks great. As long as you keep shoes off of the rug, I wouldn’t think you’d have a problem with any wool rug especially if it has a pattern to it.
Anon says
I noticed costco has some cozy looking shag rugs at very reasonable prices, both in store and in the warehouse.
anon says
ours is a costco rug, very thick shag and it is still really nice looking, super soft, and gets so many compliments (especially for the price!). I’ve had cheaper quality shag before and they get all tangled; that hasn’t happened to the costco one.
Anon says
We had this issue with Ruggable and ended up abutting two of the smaller sized softest pads underneath the largest size topper! Highly recommend.
Anonymous says
We have a rectangular rag rug from PB Kids that is still going strong after 10+ years.
OP says
how do i tell if a rug pad is thick enough online? is there a certain brand or thickness that is best?
Anon says
Go to a carpet place! The kind that sells wall to wall carpet. You can get an area rug made with a pad to go underneath. Carpet has come a looong way over the years and there are tons of attractive carpets with patterns, multiple colors, etc that are stain-resistant. It’s also usually much cheaper unless you splash out on fancy high end wool carpet.
I have ruggables in other rooms but the large ones are difficult to get on the pad straight and they’re really just a printed mat. I also had a bunch of Flor samples but found them to be kind of scratchy and hard.
Anon says
The best thing to do is get a memory foam rug pad! I think we have the Cloud brand? It makes the rug super soft and cozy underneath. Then we have a couple Safavieh rugs from Target that I love, layered on top of a foam rug pad. Find a couple rugs you like, buy them in the 2×3 or 2×4 size and then you can asses the color and quality, then order the large size you like. We ended up getting the Boggios Rug – Safavieh from Target in the 10×14 size and it is very cozy and soft.
Anon says
that is such a smart idea. thank you!
anon says
Gift question. My LOs have birthdays right around the holidays, so considering a playscape/swing set or a climbing dome. Kids are turning 2 and 4, and we have large yard. Any suggestions? What have your kids used a lot? Brands anyone loves? There’s also so many used playsets we could buy second hand but even sorting through all of those I want to make sure it is worthwhile to touch up, etc.
Anonymous says
A used playset in good condition (no rot) is a good idea. Our neighbors got a decade-old hand-me-down playset from relatives several years ago. They pressure-washed it, stained it, and put on all new swings, and it still looks terrific. Staining is not a terribly large job.
Whatever you get, make sure it’s well anchored and has a thick bed of mulch underneath.
Anonymous says
Disagree with the mulch. Kiddo has mulch at school and it drives her nuts getting in her shoes. I’d imagine it gets tracked all around (and inside, too). Ours is on grass, as is nearly everyone’s we know, and it is just fine.
Anonymous says
We have this climbing dome. It’s the best. We got it when my kids were 1.5,3.5,and 6 and it was really for the older two.
https://www.amazon.com/Lifetime-Geometric-Climber-Center-Earthtone/dp/B004K0Q8LG/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=geodome&qid=1633358639&sr=8-3
With kids your age, I’d get the swingset now and a climbing dome in another two years. They make smaller versions of the climbers for younger kids but I would just wait it out any get the bigger one.
Also, we got a power wheels jeep when my older two were 1 and 4 and it has been a hit ever since. we are going on year 5 with it!
Anonymous says
We also have that climbing dome. We got it a couple years ago when the youngest was 3.5. It is still in regular use among all the neighbor kids up to age 12, but the sweet spot seems to be 4-8.
If you have a good tree for a rope swing, that is almost as good as a swing set, and a lot easier!
anon says
I wouldn’t get something sized for a 2 and 4 yo. I’d get a playset that will last through elementary school. Size up.
We got a large cedar set (built by us) at ages 0 and 2.5 yo and it’s been fabulous and is still heavily used at 5.5 and 8 yo.
Mary Moo Cow says
I agree with a lot that has been said here: size up and consider whether you need much under it. We bought a Gorilla playset through NJ Swing Sets dot com because it was taller/had bigger clubhouse and had 3 swings that could be swapped out. We went with the baby swing and two regular swings. DH and his dad put it together in a day. We bought the Chalet or Chateau version (I don’t remember which one) when kids were 1 and 4, and put a very thick layer of mulch under it to cushion falls. (Mulch does need to be refreshed every year or so and make sure you buy the smaller chips.) Kids are now 6 and 4; we just moved and took it apart and rebuilt it in a few hours and skipped the mulch because we weren’t as worried about falls. We also have swapped out the baby swing for a hanging bar and are contemplating a glider/two person swing. If you buy cedar or wood, staining it every year or so to seal the wood is worth the time.
Anon says
We just replaced an old (20 plus years, came with the house we bought 6 years ago, was probably rotting then too) wooden playset with a new cedar set. It was not cheap (around $5K), but it has 2 regular swings, a trapeze bar, a disc swing, a tire swing, a tented platform that sort of serves as a clubhouse but more open, a rock wall, monkey bars, couple of climbing ladders and a slide. Kiddo (a large sized 4YO) loves it and it comfortably fits 5-6 kids at a time, but is still plenty fun when she is by herself. She is just figuring out the trapeze bar and is too young for the monkey bars, but some older friends (around 6-7) have no problem on those. We intended for her to be able to “grow into” it and be large enough to be fun with friends or (hopefully, one day, gah secondary infertility is the pits) a sibling.
We went with Rainbow playsets because it was a known quantity, good warranty, they did take down and removal of the old set and install for less than $500, and they have a showroom and store that is local, so we can add additional parts (ninja warrior style grips for the monkey bars, a hammock swing, etc.) as kiddo grows, and they offer staining and sealing services (we are not DIYers). With wood sets, you really do have to keep up on the maintenance to protect the wood.
Walnut says
We have this one for our three kids under six. No regrets.
https://www.amazon.com/Lifetime-90630-Products-Adventure-Playset/dp/B017JYHMKU
Instant pot? says
Is an Instant Pot worth it for vegetarians beyond cooking dry beans? If so, DH wants to know whether the air fryer lid is any good – we don’t have room for a standalone air fryer.
Anonymous says
It makes the best hard-cooked eggs, but I didn’t find that worth the counter space.
Anonymous says
While I think we probably lose a lot of the convenience factor since we don’t use it for meat, I still like it a lot for vegetarian food. It gets nice flavor into food faster. There are some one-pot meals I really like for it, like a soup where you just dump in canned beans and frozen veggies and spaghetti and veggie meat sauce that cooks all together. I like using it to steam veggies because I have an unnatural aversion to using the steamer on the stove for whatever reason.
Anon says
We lost our instant pot in a flood and never replaced it. I’m also a vegetarian and it was really only useful to me for cooking dried beans. Anything else (most lentils, etc) took the same amount of time on the stove and I work from home so it doesn’t really save me anything.
If you have a microwave with a convection oven built in (aka a speed oven) it’s the same thing as an air fryer. I never understood our microwave until recently but now I use the easy convect feature for everything. Convection roast on our oven is the same thing but takes a lot longer.
Anonymous says
Thanks, our microwave is on its last legs, so that will probably be a factor when we replace it!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
IP I think it is great for soups, stews, etc. BUT caveat that pressure cooking is a cultural thing for me.
I don’t see the air fryer hype because we have a toaster oven and I feel like that does the same thing? Let me know if I’m missing anything. I also prefer my veggies cooked on the stove (stir-fries or Indian style) or properly roasted in oven.
No Face says
I frequently use the instant pot. The air fryer lid is fine, but cumbersome. I plan to get a air fryer / toaster oven combo soon.
I like the instant pot for chili, stew, baked potatoes, sauces, curries, hard boiled eggs. If you eat those things frequently, it may be a good option for you.
Anon says
We have an Instant Pot (non-air fryer) and we eat very little meat…. What we use it for:
– beans
-soups and stews
– making paneer
– curries
– rice and grains (it cooks brown rice a lot more quickly than stovetop)
-rice pilaf type dishes.
– yogurt
– boiled eggs
– cooking pasta in the sauce
I find the food isn’t always tastier than other cooking methods, but it tastes better to me than the slow cooker. And also it’s super convenient because i can set it on a timer, prep things in the morning and have food ready when I get home. I use it about twice a week.
The Milk Kitchen cookbook is pretty good as is Urvashi Pitre’s Indian Instant Pot.
Anon says
What would you do? My in-laws told my spouse and I that they would encourage our kids to lie to us so that the inlaws could circumvent our rules. In this case, it was about screen time. We don’t allow it. In law wanted to babysit but said they would show the kids a movie and then tell them not to tell us. Both spouse and I immediately shut that down – to be clear, we didn’t ask them to babysit, they wanted to. But I take more of an issue with asking our kids to lie to us than the screen time frankly. I told my spouse that asking kids to lie to us is a grooming behavior and also confuses the kids. I’m honestly uncomfortable leaving the kids with them alone now. Like, if something happens, I don’t feel I can trust the inlaws to be honest with us. What would you do? These are long distance inlaws, but we usually spend about a month total with them per year, so this will crop up again. For this visit, spouse and I have simply not allowed them to be alone with the kids.
Anonymous says
This is over the top and weird. Do you want to have 100% control over what goes on at all times or do you want your children to have a relationship with their grandparents? With grandparents, of course you have to hold the line on safety issues like infant sleep surfaces and car seats, but a movie or some candy at grandma’s house is not going to cause permanent damage.
Anonymous says
Are you sure it wasn’t a joke? It seems kind of stupid to reveal a plan to conceal something.
Anon says
No, it seems like a weird power move on the inlaws’ part.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Is there something else going on with your in-laws and their behavior historically? Not trying to make light of your feelings, but I feel like watching a movie snuggled with grandkids is an acceptable activity. Perhaps they just think y’all wouldn’t approve?
Anonymous says
Don’t leave your kids alone with them because they won’t do what they are told. But a movie with grandparents isn’t a crisis maybe chill a bit.
Anonymous says
Right? I feel like there are hills to die on and having rules so out of the norm that people are basically forced to lie is not going to end well when the stakes get higher. Also, exceptions for grandparents are pretty common because they are grandparents. Are you Amish?
Anonymous says
This is a ridiculous take. In no way are OP and her spouse “forcing” her in-laws to lie and certainly not to encourage OP’s kids to lie. Kids can survive without a movie night, good grief.
Anonymous says
I don’t think she’s forcing her in-laws to lie, but she sounds so controlling that nothing the in-laws do will ever make her happy. I know lots of moms like this.
And what is she going to do when her kids are old enough to have friends? Will she tell them that they can’t watch movies at their friends’ houses? Is she going to complain when the elementary school shows Magic School Bus during recess on rainy days?
Anonymous says
Except OP’s issue isn’t about screen time, which she says below she would have been open to if her in laws had just asked. Instead, they are teaching OP’s kids that the right response when you don’t like a rule is to do what you want and then lie about it. I’d be much more concerned about that when OP’s kids are older than whether they get to watch tv.
Spirograph says
How old are the kids? I also take issue with anyone telling my kids to lie or keep secrets from me and my husband, but I’m confused about this particular scenario.
They told you that they were going to come over, break the rules, and tell the kids to lie about it? Why wouldn’t they just come over, all grown-ups (parents and grandparents, both) say that there’s a special exception to screen time rules because grandparents are visiting, and then kids watch a movie and parents enjoy a date night away from home?
Anonymous says
This sounds very similar to my in-laws who are also shockingly open about their disregard for house rules and have encouraged grandkids to be in on the lie when we and DH’s siblings aren’t around. It’s maddening and entitled behavior that has resulted in us being much more selective and careful about leaving the kids alone with them. Unfortunately, experience with our nieces and nephews has shown us that, at least in our case, it’s absolutely not a joke and the lack of boundaries doesn’t end with small things like screen time.
Anonymous says
1. I’d relax and let them do a movie night with the kids as long as they are showing a movie appropriate for your kids.
2. Anyone who encourages my kids to lie to me doesn’t spend time alone with my kids.
Anon says
Yes, I think I might not have been clear about the two issues. Had the inlaws actually approached it as a conversation about watching a movie, I’d be open to it. But this was not a conversation. I think my reaction was extreme because I’ve seen them violate other safety rules and try to hide it (when the kids were too young to communicate) or encourage behavior that they know we don’t allow and then attempt to cover it up. I really dislike that they are doing this, but it’s a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, I think, versus this specific instance.
Anonymous says
It doesn’t need to be addressed. They don’t respect you. You can’t trust them. So you never leave your kids with them.
Anonymous says
This makes a lot of sense, especially with the backstory. If my parents came to me with this plan the movie and lying, I’d just respond in the moment, “It’s fine for them to watch a movie with you! but it’s important to us that the kids know that all the special grown-ups in their lives are on the same page and we don’t keep secrets from each other. Please don’t ask the kids to keep secrets from us, we’ll just tell them they get to have movie night as a treat.” And we’d all move on. But that would be out of character for them to begin with.
If this is a pattern of behavior, absolutely address it… the best way to do that is maybe to make sure there’s an open line of communication and tell them that you’re OK with having a conversation about them bending some rules sometimes, as long as you’re involved in the decision of which ones and by how much. It’s literally your job to keep your kids safe and do what you feel is best for them, and you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone! But if you’re coming across as rigid on everything and they don’t understand what is hard line and what is flexible, explaining might help your in-laws make choices more in line with your values.
anon says
My inlaws aren’t good about following instructions. It has been an issue repeatedly. Things like, “Don’t given the 2 yo milk, she’s been super constipated,” go completely unheeded. They stay they’re the grandparents so they want to spoil the kids, but then we have to deal with the kid sobbing for hours because her tummy hurts after they give her 24 oz of milk with dinner. It’s been less of an issue as the kids get older and are more robust, but still isn’t perfect. It does frustrate me, as we don’t just come up with random rules to hamper their fun, but hasn’t been serious enough for us to stop visits.
If you’re going to say no screen time, then just concede that you can’t leave the kids with the in laws. I’d probably allow them to do screen time and just know that the kids will get to watch a movie when with the inlaws. As kids get older you have to give up complete control anyways. Assuming you trust that they won’t do anything totally egregious, I wouldn’t stop the relationship, but that’s me.
Anon says
I take exception with the folks telling you to chill about the screen. I am reading this as you are upset about the lying, not the screen time. I would be the same as you. Trust is broken and I would not allow them to be alone with my kids for the time being. Trust can rebuild overtime, so I would continually evaluate, but that would be a dealbreaker for me for the same things as you describe.
Anon says
People are addressing both, it’s fine.
anon says
Yup, agreed. You don’t get alone time with my kids if I don’t trust you to be honest with me. You’re going to have to be firm on boundaries, and reinforce to your kids the difference between “surprises” (ok) and “secrets” (not ok). They don’t get to decide what’s a hard-and-fast family rule vs a guideline; you do. Even if your rule is no screens period, it’s your rule.
anon says
If they’re that eager to watch a movie with the kids, they can ask the parents for an exception to screen time rules. I agree that asking children to lie to their parents normalizes grooming behavior.
I wouldn’t allow them time alone with the kids for quite awhile, and explain how harmful it is for the grandparents to normalize lying to parents about what other adults have done. Personally, this would make time with them less appealing.
Anon says
If my in-laws did this I’d make sure my spouse and I were on the same page and then ask him to have a very stern conversation with his parents (maybe with me there/on the phone too, but him leading): “we are very alarmed that you’d disregard our parenting decisions and ask the kids to lie about it. We want you to be able to spoil your grandchildren, but not at the cost of honesty or making us be the bad guys. If we find out you’re hiding things about our kids from us and encouraging them to lie about it, we’re going to have to limit your interactions, which we don’t want to do.” And then see how they respond. If they don’t get that lying and hiding things are a BIG DEAL, then believe them when they tell you who they are and act accordingly.
anon says
This would not work well with any of the grandparents in our lives. They would consider us to be bat sh!t crazy and it would undercut our authority as parents.
I don’t think confronting is a good way to go about this. I’d hold my tongue until the next time the grandparents want to see the kids. Use that opportunity to set guardrails. You have the authority as parents–no need to threaten. Negotiate expectations before the next interaction. They will need to agree or you can decide say no to that visit. Try to make it a productive conversation rather than an empty sounding or hostile threat.
Familiar but different says
Hmm so my dad did this but with sneaking the kids Oreos. He was definitely joking and also it became a family joke because my oldest two (3 and 4?) immediately came and told on him and told him they tell me everything. And everyone laughed and I didn’t care about Oreos anyways.
This sounds more serious but I’m just throwing it out there that we actually were able to pivot “sneaky grandpa” into a really positive discussion that’s still ongoing a couple years later about who can have secrets, when it’s appropriate, what you need to share with parents immediately, etc. it helps that my oldest is a small mom who will always tell me everything, but is there a way you can turn this into something good while still discouraging the behavior going forward?
Anonymous says
Yeah, this is a joke my mother would make, and I personally wouldn’t have thought twice about it on the trust level. I think there’s a difference between a harmless lie and a real lie, and if I were the grandparents here, I’d be really offended that you were conflating a white lie about a movie with “grooming” their grandchildren for s3xual assault. You do you, but this is an extreme take!
anon says
You can still say this in a nice, polite way and be firm on boundaries. “Mom and dad, we’re really trying to make sure little Joe understands the difference between secrets and surprises. I’d appreciate it if you help us keep this clear by avoiding telling him to keep a secret from us. Thanks!” or “Joe, you can hug or hi five, please say good bye now!” or “our family rule is stopping tickling right when someone says ‘stop'” — instead of accusing family members of grooming for sexual assault. But, folks, part of why these boundaries hard are because grandparents DO groom children for sexual assault. You can protect your kids by making sure even your own parents know you’re looking out and not afraid to make things uncomfortable to protect kids. Looking back, I now see how my grandfather did in fact use little white lies and giving us extra candy as part of his grooming. So, I am “extreme” on this and urge others to trust their gut.
Pogo says
I didn’t take OP’s grooming comment to think she meant HER grandparents were grooming the kids, but that by letting them thinking lying to your parents was an OK behavior, they would be more susceptible to grooming. Which I think is accurate and not at all overreacting.
Anonymous says
I think this is a really healthy way to approach it, though. I have had this conversation with my mother (i.e. why we don’t make them give hugs, why we stop tickling when they say stop). But I think there’s a nice way to have this conversation (assuming you don’t actually think the grandparents in question are malicious) without going nuclear.
Anonymous says
My MIL would totally say this as a joke, and I think she actually has. In our family we often say “What happens at grandma’s house stays at grandma’s house!” Grandma’s house, Grandma’s rules, except where actual safety is concerned. We tell her she can spoil them as much as she wants because she is the one who has to deal with the consequences. It has worked out well. Grandma is actually stricter than we are on screen time, the same on manners, more lax on junk food. And the kids know not to mess with Grandma because she will ENFORCE her rules.
No Face says
This is my absolute favorite lipstick. I have it in three colors!
Realist says
Thanks! I was looking at the colors and was wondering how good this lipstick was. Will probably try this.
Anonymous says
Directly, to in-laws: “Why would you even say that?”
I would also work with your kids assuming they are old enough to let them know that you don’t have secrets. If grandma and grandpa have different rules, that’s okay, you won’t be mad.
It sounds like what might be hard is that these long distance in-laws don’t get visits on their own turf. For our kids, grandma’s house has different rules. We don’t insist that our kids [clear their plate/keep off screens/make beds/whatever] at grandma’s. Her house, her rules, within some realm of reason and safety. If your inlaws only see the kids at your house, I can see why they may want to have special grandparent time.
THAT SAID, the approach is, of course, terrible. I would address it directly: “Are you seriously suggesting you will teach our kids that lying to their parents is ok?” And let that sit in uncomfortable silence.
SF assoc says
Hi all, hoping for some ideas! My niece is turning one at the end of October. Due to geographic distance (we just relocated to London but before that lived in SF; niece and brother/sister-in-law live in Florida), we’ve only met our niece once when she was about six months old. What do one year olds play with/what should we get her as a gift? Getting her yet another onesie/cute outfit seems kind of lame, but we are at a loss for what you might otherwise buy a one year old. (Probably obvious, but partner and I don’t have kids!) I am open to just asking my sister-in-law what they want/need but I also don’t want to add yet another thing to her to-do list (i.e., think of a gift that we can buy her daughter). Any suggestions?
Anonymous says
Go to John Lewis and buy adorable baby clothes and one small easy to shop toy.
Cb says
Yes, second this. When I first moved to the UK, I bought a kid’s friend zip up hoodie from John Lewis. All 3 of her kids wore it and then when I had my baby, she sent it back to me and my son wore it before we passed it onto someone else. The prints are often quite different from what you can find in the US. Lindex makes gorgeous kids pyjamas which I wish came in adult sizes (red pandas!)
TheElms says
Things that we got around 1 year old that are still loved by a 2 year old include a learning tower, magnatiles, a doll in a doll stroller, duplos (or mega blocks or wooden blocks), brio train set, a play kitchen, a bubble machine, sidewalk chalk, and an easel.
Anonymous says
Yeah, cute baby clothes picked out by someone who doesn’t have kids are often not awesome gifts. For gift ideas: love the doll + doll stroller idea already mentioned, stacking blocks that fit together (we have some that are like soft, oversized legos), musical instruments (I think there’s a Melissa and Doug set that’s nice), play tea set.
Anonymous says
Ugh such a nasty attitude
Anon says
Woah there big nelly! Nothing nasty about this except your reaction to a perfectly normal comment.
Spirograph says
hahaha this is so personal. I agree that cute baby clothes are often frustrating for parents (see, overalls: so cute! so unnecessarily difficult for diaper changes) but musical instruments are on my blacklist. Are the drum and “singing guitar” some of my kids’ favorite toys? yes. Am I happy to have them in my house? absolutely not.
Blocks are my go-to. If you want an inexpensive toy add-on to a clothing gift, my kids loved a set of cardboard nesting/stacking cubes when they were 1-2. They don’t last forever, which also helps purge toys!
anonq says
Our top 1yo gift was a FP indoor/outdoor slide. My kids adored that from when they started walking through to age 3 or 4.
Anonymous says
A while back there was a post about Melissa and Doug puzzles that make noise when you put the pieces in. Huge hits around that age as are anything to push as they’re unstable/early walkers. Shopping cart, doll stroller. That is still prime board book age, too.
Our go-to gift nowadays is the Kenny Loggins Footloose book and CD for kids. He rewrote the song about an all night zoo party. Our entire family loves it.
anon says
Magnatiles and children’s books are great. +1 that your instinct not to get cute baby clothes is correct.
Clementine says
This is a UK specific gift – go to Motherlove and buy one of their one piece rain suits. It’s something that’s REALLY hard to find in the US and they’re my #1 favorite kid item. You’ll pay an arm and a leg shipping it to the US, yes, but it’s going to be cute and special and I suggest British themed books – recently someone brought back ‘Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat, Where have you been?’ from a UK trip and it’s been fantastic.
(I buy Tuffo Muddy Buddy suits in the US, but these are better.)
Anonymous says
the indoor / outdoor slide is nice IF they have the space.
We got our 1 year of a collapsible tube that he could crawl through – given the obstacle course we did at home through Covid it is still in use at age 4. It folds down to nothing.
also – cute british clothes would be great too – just buy a size up (at least 18 months or even 2 year old is nice…. she probably already has all the 1 year old clothes she needs).
or Paddington books + small toy. My BFF lives in London and gave this as a baby gift. We still read the books and talk about Paddington and maybe visiting him (the bear) in London one day.
GCA says
Yes to Paddington books and toy! And Julia Donaldson & other beloved British authors/ illustrators. (Helen Oxenbury?). On a past work trip I contemplated getting my (at the time) vehicle-mad toddler a London double decker bus toy but felt that might be a bit much!
Clementine says
Ugh, I think I got stuck in mod, but a UK specific suggestion – there’s a store called M other love. They have amazing rain suits – you really can’t get anything like them in the states. Especially for a southern kiddo who doesn’t need a snow suit, I think that would be amazing.
They’re like the Tuffo suits but so much better with a trimmer fit. I would add a couple London books.
anonamama says
Hello! Magazine by Highlights. It’s perfect for that age, portable and a nice monthly surprise (and one I *think* you could buy out of US).
Anon says
You’re thoughtful to not want to add burden. Lots of good suggestions on this list. I’d love it if a relative said I’m considering these four gifts, do any of them sound good or is there something else in mind? That way they can just say yes if they don’t want to think about it and/or you hit the mark, or they can redirect you to something they’d prefer.
Anon for this says
This is a vent and an anonymous screaming into the void.
One of my employees let me know that a family member is dying in the ICU of COVID. I have no idea this family member’s vaccine status, but I would guess not vax’d given how sick they are. It’s the first time I’ve encountered this in real life, not a story online, and it’s hitting home and making me really angry. I am going to continue to be kind and supportive the employee, of course, because I’m a human, and also because I doubt she is antivax, but man. When do we get to wake up from this nightmare???
Anonymous says
Right there with you. My unvaccinated father in law was in the ER last week with covid. He says he’s on the mend (but who knows, he never admits when he’s wrong, and thus went radio silent for a week until the ER admission because he didn’t want DH to know he was sick), and I hope he is right, but ugh this is so stupid.
Anonymous says
Don’t assume. One of my friends had a fully vaccinated family member die very swiftly of it. It’s rare but it’s happening.
OP says
Thank you for the reminder – I know it can happen, and I guess what I’m saying is that I hate my brain even went to this weird place immediately, of wondering.
It also started to make me nervous about sending my team on any kind of travel as some of them are older. Even if they are vaccinated, how would I feel if they caught it and got seriously ill? We’ve of course said everything is your choice, etc, but now I’m paranoid that we’ve been pressuring people to travel before they’re ready….I just hate this all and I’m exhausted.
anon says
I don’t know what to tell you. IMHO, work travel is laden with pressure right now. Even if you tell them it’s their choice, they know that isn’t actually true.
Anon says
yes ‘choice’ is not really true. like if people who are willing to travel, get better projects, more visibility, opportunities for advancement, etc. are they traveling to dine indoors, meet with unvaccinated people, etc. because that should not even be encouraged
Anon says
This. DH is planning to travel for work in a few weeks because he feels like he has to. My office doesn’t require attendance, but encourages vaxxed employees to come in occasionally to spend time with coworkers for morale purposes. I understand the reasoning, but there have been 3 breakthrough cases in just 3 weeks (I don’t know if transmission occurred in the office, but they were all reported within a week). With kiddos too young to be vaxxed, it feels like unnecessary pressure to come to the office and attend meetings/socialize with coworkers.
Anon says
Yes, DH’s grandmother was fully vaxxed and just died of COVID. She was old and had comorbidities, but it’s happening. That said, I would make the same assumption as OP.
Anon says
Sorry, but you’re way out of line here. You know nothing about this person, you don’t get to be angry at somebody who is dying because you’ve made up a bunch of assumptions.
Anon says
*somebody who is a total stranger to you, to boot!
Anonymous says
Yes this. When you have ugly thoughts you can choose not to lean into them
OP says
Yes, I know – that’s why I’m anonymously venting about it on the internet, rather than saying anything to another person about it.
Anon says
Please understand that a LOT of people die of preventable diseases. We do not judge obesity, drug use, promiscuity, skydiving, drinking too much [so long as they Uber home], speeding, smoking, or even the refusal to go for an annual checkup. All of those things cause massive problems, a strain on our health care system, early death, and a radically reduced quality of life. Do not take all of the frustration from people’s bad decisions and laser-focus it on COVID.
Anon Lawyer says
I mean, we do actually judge people for all those things, but I agree we should do so less.
Pogo says
lol we don’t judge people for obesity and promiscuity? Please, tell me where this magical land is so I can move there.
Anon says
Unvaccinated people ending up in the hospital very ill is more akin to drinking & driving than those other examples…. It is a menace to society that could be quickly and easily prevented (in virtually all cases).
Anonymous says
OP, people are being ridiculous. You can vent on the Internet. Other people are venting at you and acting holier than thou about it. Make your own vent people, instead of going after OP. Or be responsible about Covid, because if you are that sensitive about it …. hit dogs holler.
HSAL says
Tervis sippies have been our ride or die sippies for the kids (3 and 6) to keep in bed for almost five years. They do not leak in the slightest, but they don’t hold very much, and I’d like to avoid getting up for refills in the night. We’re working on telling them the sippy has to last all night, but are there any cups with a larger capacity that don’t leak at all, even if the kids screw around with them? (which happens with the daytime water bottles)
Anonymous says
Thermos Funtainer.
HSAL says
Those are our daytime water bottles – I like them a lot, but they do drip a little when on their sides and my kids can force water out.
Anonymous says
These definitely leak.
Anon says
how much water do they need to drink at night? can you make a rule that that is the amount they get in the nighttime?
HSAL says
The cups only hold about 4-5 ounces. We’re working on explaining they have to last through the night, but sometimes we forget to refill it at bedtime (they don’t drink it all every night), or they still wake up asking, etc. The spouts are also pretty chewed up after 2-5 years so I was looking at replacements. It doesn’t look like Tervis makes them anymore which is too bad – they really are the only truly leakproof ones we’ve ever used.
Anon says
I’ve been surprised with the lack of leakage on the Contigo Spill Proof Tumbler with Straw. Our camelback can definitely leak if the valve isn’t closed and someone is sitting or leaning on it (me, last week). The Miracle 360s (you can get them in a 10oz) I find do not leak unless dropped (and then there is a splash).
AwayEmily says
+1, our kids use the 360 cups for their bed water and we have not had a leak yet.
AMama says
+1 to the Contigo tumblers – they are the best and hold a lot
Anonymous says
This is what we use at bedtime too. Now on bedside table.
SBJ says
I send my two older kids to bed with the 360 cups, but my littlest (and most mischievous) figured out how to pry the silicone lid up enough to make water splash out, which they thought was fun for two seconds until the realization of being all wet hit… this was at ~16-ish months, so probably not an issue for older kids. But just a word of warning! I’d sent my others to bed with them no issue and was quite surprised at what my youngest figured out.
Anonymous says
Oxo Tot twist top water bottle
Anonymous says
Does this one have a valve in the straw?
Anonymous says
Yes. They are AWESOME.
International flights with infants says
Hello, I’m expecting Twins in December (first kids, and we’re super super excited:-)). I live overseas working for an international organization, haven’t seen my family in forever, and we are thinking to try to make a visit home to California when they’re around 5-6 months old. (Let’s ignore Covid for the moment, but I promise I won’t take my babies into the world if things are still bad). I have to request this leave now, as part of my maternity leave plan. A few questions I’m hope some of you have answers to – what is a good age range to try to do this kind of long trip? (E.g., a few people have told me to do it at 6 months, not 1 year). How does it work with lap babies, getting a seat for them, etc? I’ll be traveling with my husband, and we’ll have 2 babies. I don’t want to hold a baby for all 18 hours of travel; can we bring a seat for them and put them in car seats for the flights? I’m an expert traveler in general (in a former job I flew all the time), but I’m not sure how to travel like a normal person (without my Platinum status anymore:-P) , and I don’t have a clue how to travel with babies. All words of wisdom appreciated.
TheElms says
I flew with a 7 month old from the East Coast to Europe and definitely think 5-8 months is a perfect time to make a long plane trip, much easier than with a 1-2.5 year old. Basically you want a baby that has been vaccinated with the key vaccines that you get at 2 months (and a flu shot if possible if during flu season, so that would be 6+ months), that has more of a defined schedule, sleeps a bit better than a newborn but isn’t mobile yet. Once they are mobile its much harder to contain them.
In terms of flight arrangements you have 3 options. (1) hold the babies the whole flight; (2) book a bulkhead with an infant bassinet that attaches to the wall (but there is usually only one per row), so you can put the baby in the bassinet for part of the flight (but these are not guaranteed generally); (3) book seats for each infant and bring a car seat for each infant. In option 3 you install the car seat with the air plane lap belt and then each baby is in their car seat for the flight, when you don’t want to hold them. You could probably also do a hybrid of (2) and (3). Book the bulkhead with infant bassinet, and buy 1 seat for the other twin (and bring 1 car seat on board). The hybrid option would be less expensive because you’d be buying 3 seats rather than 4. If for some reason the bassinet wasn’t available you could still put one twin in the car seat and then trade off holding a twin between you and your husband. And swap the twins between the car seat and being held.
Pogo says
Agree w/ hybrid option – the bassinet is clutch, but I don’t think they have more than 2 per row (would depend on airline).
strategymom says
like the hybrid option best. also, at 6 months they still sleep a lot and time zone change isn’t as big of a deal as it is when they are older
SC says
Congratulations! I agree that 6 months is better than 1 year old. I traveled with my baby when he was 6 months, and it was a dream. Car seats are safer and more comfortable for traveling with infants. At that age, I used the bucket seat attached to the stroller frame to get through the airport, then gate-checked the stroller and used the bucket seat on the plane. When selecting seats, I’d make sure you have one adult immediately next to each infant, so a 4-across with babies in the middle and adults on the outside is perfect. If a row of 3, I’d split up. Be aware that the airline will not allow a car seat to block the exit, so the car seat will need to be a window seat. If you decide to travel with them as lap infants, you and your husband will have to sit in different rows because each row only has one additional overhead mask (unless large international flights are different).
Anonymous says
Some airlines do not allow car seats in exit row at all. (Air Canada / star Alliance had lots of issues).
~6 months is a GREAT age for traveling with babies.
SC says
Right. Car seats may not be allowed in exit rows. And they cannot block a person from exiting the row into the aisle–so in a row of 2 or 3 next to the window, the car seat will need to be in the window seat, with a parent immediately next to them. In a row of 4 in the middle, the car seats will need to be in the middle.
Anonymous says
My recollection is you pay fees for infants on international flights. It has been awhile, so I am sure I will be corrected if I am wrong. Depending on the cost of airfare, it may be worth paying extra for a seat.
Allie says
Six months is the perfect time to do international travel IMHO. The flight will still be terrible but it’s getting progresively worse from then until the kid is like seven years old so definitely do the six month trip.
Cb says
Yes, we did the UK to California at 10 months and I wish we had done it earlier. He was ADORABLE when we were there, but he was a bit more grabby and active on the flight. My parents have since moved to Europe and I’m very excited for their retirement life but also mostly excited to trade a 16 hour journey for a 2.5 hour one.
Anon says
congrats on the twins! i also have twins as my first and only kids. i never attempted such a long flight, but people in my twin group did and they did it at a variety of ages. honestly, flying with kids at each age has different challenges. the hardest age for us was the crawling stage bc they alway got sick when we flew at that age. so you can buy a seat for each of the babies and bring their car seats on board. we always flew with lap babies, but our flights were not 18 hours long (only 4 hours and most of the time we got lucky with an extra seat). if you can afford it, I would definitely buy them each a seat and try to get them to be in the seat to sleep, otherwise you will probably want to take them out and hold them bc they shouldn’t spend 18 hours in their car seats, so you might also want a baby carrier. i read a rule somewhere to pack one diaper per baby per hour of travel (thinking of your travel as door to door), changes of clothes for everyone. if you are formula feeding you will want to make sure you have extra just in case some spills, you have flight delays, etc. at that age they probably will not have started solids yet? with an ok from our pediatrician, we delayed starting solids until 6 months, 10 days bc it made more sense to do so after our travels. decide if you are going to try to keep them on your home time zone or destination time zone. if your family can purchase/order stuff to CA definitely do that (we always have our parents get diapers, wipes, formula, etc.)
anon says
I did a long trip with one baby at 3 months old. It was great–baby had 2 months shots, but wasn’t crawling. Babyproofing/need for toys was minimal. It was a little tough getting a passport in time (can’t apply for a passport until you have a birth certificate. The local public health department was taking its time issuing birth certificates).
AwayEmily says
Echoing everyone who says earlier is better. Things get reeaaaaal hard starting at around 9 or 10 months….they are mobile, have no attention span, and are capable of not sleeping for long, terrible periods.
anon says
We always bought at least one seat for the twins so one could go in their carseat and we had an adult with free hands. For flights longer than 6 hours (e.g. US to Europe) we bought two, even when they were still young enough to fly “free” (well, whatever the infant international cost is, 10%?). If your babies will sleep in carseats, being able to put them down and get some sleep yourself is key.
Precovid, we flew with our twins every month or two from 3 months on and each age has its pros and cons. 3 months was the most stressful because everything was new, but also the babies slept much of the flight and it was easy. 6-9 months was fine as long as they were able to sleep–if they got overtired it was rough. 14 months on an 8-hour flight wasn’t bad because they were easy to entertain, just exhausting for the parents.
Anon says
Does anyone know how Seraphine sizing runs? I’m going to buy their maternity hoodie and I can’t tell if I should size up or not. I’m tall if that matters.
anon says
I’m 5’8″ and my Seraphine dresses were too short in third tri. I probably could have sized up, but didn’t want to spend more at that time. Length was definitely an issue once my belly got big.
ElisaR says
i found the brand fairly forgiving…. which is good since it’s maternity :)
I would go true to size.
Anon says
I found that most of their stuff looked like it would fit second trimester but not third. I actually did not keep much I ordered from them for that reason.
Anonymous says
Also 5’8″. Only had dresses. I went true to size and wore my favourite dress from seraphine literally up to the day I gave birth, but it was definitely getting a little shorter (for work) but only for the last couple of weeks. I would go true to size again. (it was also summer then and I was ready to start wearing full on maxi-dress to work).
Curious says
I went true to size. I’m 5’8″ and 160 lbs prepartum with a shortish torso but long hips, so average legs. Bust is large ish — 36 F or G in pregnancy? Maybe even more? Their dresses stayed fine for me through delivery at 41 weeks. That said, I wasn’t going into the office, so it’s possible I might have wanted leggings if I were.
Anon says
Good morning ladies! I live in the Lansing, Michigan area and have a good friend who is looking for a local divorce attorney to provide guidance on possible divorce proceedings against her husband as well as custody issues. If anyone has a recommendation that I can share with her it would be much appreciated!
Mask lanyard says
Does anyone have a suggestion for a kids’ mask lanyard that will easily break apart if caught on the playground? Preschool is asking me to send my small 3 yo with a lanyard and the first one I got doesn’t break apart when we tested it at home. She’s a little over 25 pounds.
anon says
No suggestion, but I would push back on the lanyard idea for such young children. While convenient, lanyards can also cause disastrous problems, particularly if the break apart mechanism doesn’t function as expected (and I wouldn’t expect perfection from a break apart mechanism).
The school can do something like provide hooks for masks if the children are unmasking outside.
Anon says
+1
OP says
I know. I don’t trust them either, but have been getting pressured by the teacher for a month. Thanks for reminding me that my common sense is right!
Anonymous says
Our kids (and us!) fold their mask (face-side-in) and put the loops around their wrist when they remove it. Easy to have when it’s always available on your wrist.
Anon4This says
Need some confirmation that I’m overthinking…or let me know otherwise.
DS #2 is 9 months and change. He is babbling and screaming (like, to communicate not in pain…it’s fun), but I’m not hearing a ton of consonants besides the occasional “hey” sounding-sound. No “mamamama” or “dadadadada”. He’s not pointing or clapping yet either. Otherwise, he’s crawling like a madman and starting to try to pull up on things.
Ped says these are all things that happen between 9-12 months and he’s still on the early side, and his school agrees. Thoughts from fellow mums?
Anonymous says
I think if his pediatrician says he’s fine and School says he’s fine and googling says he’s fine, the real question is why are you still asking?
strategymom says
lol yes – cross this off of the list of things you need to need to worry about mama! :)
Mary Moo Cow says
I remember my kids talking before walking, and not until 12 months or so (Kid 1 started walking around 13 months and Kid 2 around 15 months, but I can’t remember exactly when.) This sounds absolutely normal to me. I would listen to your physician and school. A lot of growth happens between 9 months and 12 months!
Anonymous says
I don’t think my LO really said dadada until is literally used it for Dada as a name. (Months before he said mama…. I was after dada, ball, more, ok, uh oh, no, and woof woof AND we do not have a dog.)
Anon says
sounds like your kid is very busy working on gross motor skills and so maybe oral will come a bit later. there is a HUGE HUGE range of normal. i think if your 9 month old is making some sounds and your ped says not to worry, you are borrowing worry
OP says
Thanks, all! The anecdata is helpful :)
Masking at daycare says
For those with preschool-age kids who are required to wear masks at daycare/childcare, are the requirements taken relatively seriously? Kiddo is 3, so I expect lots and lots of slip-ups and kids not wearing masks properly or even all the time. However, my kid’s daycare doesn’t even seem to be trying. The parent handbook says there is a mask requirement, but the teacher has told me its just recommended. Some kids are dropped off without a mask and welcomed right in. My kid regularly comes out without his mask and has lost several. Is this typical? Before we were accepted in this facility, kiddo went to another facility for 2 months and never had these experiences.
AwayEmily says
Totally not typical for our daycare, where masks are required and compliance is monitored. I had two kids at the daycare and in 18 months neither lost a mask. The younger one sometimes licks his (ew) but then they either use one of his spares or, if those are out, give him one of the school’s supply of disposable masks.
Pogo says
+1 Ours will return a soiled mask to you in a ziploc, named, dated and labeled – just like they do for clothes from accidents (“Little Pogo, 10/4, wet” or “Little Pogo, 10/4, soiled”). If allergies are bad, he might come home in one mask and have 2-3 snotty/wet ones in his bag, but never come home maskless.
Any pictures I’ve seen, all kids are masked.
Anonymous says
Ours requires for 2 and up except napping and eating. Kids do seem to be wearing them appropriately almost all the time! Occasional nose slippage but these are little kids so what can you do. They will not force a crying/screaming/thrashing unwilling tiny kid to wear one until they calm down – I had to drop mine off without a mask the first few days and they got it on him later in the morning. But they do keep the requirement seriously and he, and others from what I can see, do wear them and seems to be a non-issue.
NYCer says
Our private preschool (aka 3 hours per day, so definitely not a daycare) is pretty lax on masks with the 2s class. They definitely encourage the kids to wear masks, but I think they realize it is not realistic for many 2 year olds to wear a mask properly for 3 hours. Lots of masks under the nose or off completely. Lots of touching the masks. No one is getting kicked out for improper mask usage.
I have no idea what it is like for the 3s and 4s classes are like, but I imagine there is some leeway there too. FWIW, my daughter’s K-12 school is much stricter, which makes sense given the kids are older.
Anonymous says
Our high school is not enforcing the mask requirement, so….
Anon says
Our daycare takes it seriously. I have a 25 month old and I cannot get a mask on him. They put it on him once he’s inside – I guess they could require him to put it on at the door. He supposedly wears it ok during school. However, I’ve gotten kind of jaded about how useful it is to make toddlers in the first place. It’s truly a struggle for us every morning and in pictures the kids are never all wearing them properly. I’d want them to take it seriously but also I’m not confident it’s very effective so it’s almost like what’s the point. I don’t know if I’d care about the masking much unless it’s something else frustrating to add to a longer list. I have a feeling our mask mandate is going to disappear once the next bath of vaccines gets approved so hopefully it will become a non-issue.
Anon says
At my kids preschool the requirement is taken seriously for the 3 year olds. It’s not required for 2 year olds. Every kid i see entering/exiting has one on. When the teachers share pics on the app the kids are generally wearing them correctly, though sometimes one kid has it below the nose. The teachers have asked for us to send in additional masks when needed, etc. at the star of the year masks were highly recommended for the 3 year olds, but not required and after a positive case on the first day they switched the policy and a couple of parents pulled their kids from the school bc they don’t want their kids in masks (which if you ask me makes zero sense since they school always required them for 4+, so idk what they planned on doing if their kids were a year older or if masks are still required next year)
Anonymous says
I don’t understand why parents don’t want their kids in masks. Do they want the day care to close because of an outbreak?
Anonymous says
Our preschool was pretty strict on the kids wearing them indoors, but not on making sure they actually stayed on properly. So many pictures of kids with masks under their noses…
anon says
I think this is something a good daycare director would want an opportunity to talk about. Certainly, to work with the teacher on mask messaging (it should be required!). And also to give you some background (perhaps they’re relaxed about masking rules for particular children for developmental reasons and the teacher didn’t know how to tell you that without sharing private information).