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These are cute slip-ons for a business casual office environment or for running around with kids. I own a similar pair of slip-ons by Ugg that I lived in over the fall and spring, and these look like a summer version. I like how the fabric is lightweight and transparent, and how it’s woven to form stripes. One of the reviews mentions that the shoes are washable, although I don’t see that in the online description — but since they’re fabric, they might be! Also, the reviews mention that they run narrow (which is why I own so many pairs of Ugg brand shoes), so be aware if you have a wider foot. They are on sale for $65.96, marked down from $109.95, and are available at Nordstrom in the pictured color as well as black. Sammy Breeze Slip-On Sneakers This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
AwayEmily says
To Anon who posted late in the day about books for 3yos — a few favorites from our house (all have actual plots and are reasonably enjoyable to read):
– Circus Ship
– Blueberries for Sal
– Gingerbread Man Loose on the Fire Truck
– Iris & Walter series
– The Day Jimmy’s Boa Ate the Wash
– Room on the Broom
– Fox and the Jumping Contest
– Barkus
– Hattie and Hudson
– How Martha Saved Her Parents from Green Beans
Also, for a cheap/easy option: Daniel Tiger books & Peppa Pig books — and instead of getting the individual Daniel Tiger stories, I recommend getting the big treasury (called “Daniel Tiger Five-Minute Stories” or something), that has all of them in one book and is much cheaper.
Cb says
Our current favourites
There Are No Bears in this Bakery
Daddy Long Legs
Five More Minutes
Almost Anything
Last Stop on Market Street
The Extraordinary Gardener
Boston Legal Eagle says
We love the 5 minutes stories too! I think our 4 year old has gotten more of the Daniel Tiger lessons from the book than the shows (he was singing “grown ups come back” at daycare drop off today). We’ve also got the Disney stories version and the Frozen version. I think they also make Peppa Pig and a couple of other ones.
AwayEmily says
The Frozen one is a favorite in our house, too…among the kids, not me. I find so many of the stories near-incomprehensible. It’s like they were adapted from a longer TV show, except…there is no TV show! Why are the plots so convoluted? Like the one where Little Rock has to get his “tracking crystal” but they don’t even explain what a tracking crystal is.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Haha, to be honest sometimes I just read the words while not really paying attention to the plot and thinking about something else. Multitasking parent for the win!
Anon says
I do this a lot unintentionally but then it’s always super awkward when my kids ask me a question about the plot and I’m like…ummm… (they’re 4 and 6 so beyond to much bsing).
Molly says
I had the exact same question about the tracking crystal while reading that story last night. I hide this book frequently so my daughter will choose something else.
Pogo says
We love the 5min stories too.
anon says
The Peppa Pig one is good! I wish I’d discovered the 5-minute treasuries sooner. It would’ve saved me a lot of money!
Audrey III says
Our favorites with my 2.5 YO (who likes longer books with an actual plot):
-The Gruffalo
-Sofia Valdez, Future Prez
-Ada Twist, Scientist
-Rosie Revere, Engineer
-Twinkle
-Llama Llama Time To Share
-Mother Bruce
-The Lorax (this one is SO long…but I enjoy it)
Cb says
Mother Bruce is so funny! Bruce liked one thing, eggs!
Anonymous says
There are three Mother Bruce books!
Anything Curious George was popular at that age.
Katy and the Big Snow was also nice.
Cb says
Oh I love Katy and Mike Mulligan! I like that there are female vehicles, looking at you, Goodnight, Goodnight Construction site.
Anonymous says
I read half the vehicles in GNGNCS as girls but Good Morning Construction Site (sequel) has female vehicles included which is nice.
Pogo says
Katy is currently his absolute favorite, which is hilarious because it is 95 degrees here and snow is so far away from our minds. I love how the book is all about Katy being super strong and saving everybody.
anon says
Does anyone else feel squeamish reading the original curious George? Definitely a different time…. George is captured from the jungle, given a pipe and thrown in jail for accidentally calling the fire department, before being taken to the zoo where he can’t cause trouble. Maybe I am overthinking this? (definitely popular in our house)
Quail says
Yes, the original Curious George is problematic for so many reasons. Kiddo was a huge fan of the TV show so we read them but I tried to steer him away from the original story and to some of the newer stories (we have a CG treasury). (And don’t get me started on Babar!)
Anonymous says
We avoid Barbar. We avoid the ‘origin’ story of how George came to live with the man with the yellow hat. My kids never asked how he came to live with the man. A lot of kids books involve the suspension of disbelief – in Mother Bruce a black bear is raising goslings. In Katy and the big snow a snowplow is personified. I think for them it’s just a book about a man and a monkey that have silly adventures. They relate strongly to the themes of the monkey being unable to resist temptation or the monkey trying to be helpful but there being unanticipated consequences.
anon says
Thank you all (Anon from yesterday).
Great suggestions here. based on the titles alone I can see the little one loving some of these! Copy / Pasting all of these!
Anokha says
We are thinking of relocating to a NJ suburb now that it looks like we will be WFH for the next year. (We were always planning moving, but now covid has accelerated our timeline). One of the things that is hard is figuring out school systems. What factors do you look for in evaluating whether a school system will be a good fit for your family?
Anonymous says
We looked for a neighborhood with some economic diversity and also racial diversity but smaller schools at the elementary school level. We’re in a pretty white city so we found the right mix in am older neighborhood near the university and the hospital. Doctors and profs seque a little more racially diverse than average in our city and our older neighborhood has a mix of duplex style rental housing and larger houses with double garages in the same school zone. New build neighborhoods tend to be less economically diverse in my experience. I do realize that we’re talking about a narrow range of economic diversity but better than the blocks after block of 4000 sq ft+ houses where I grew up.
Anokha says
Thank you so much! This sounds a lot like what I’m thinking about. I’ve seen statistics about diversity at the high school level (breaking down different high schools by racial and economic diversity), but is there a resource or website that can provide that information at an elementary school level?
Anonymous says
If you want a nice town with diverse schools look at morristown maplewood or Montclair.
Anokha says
Thank you! Are there any moms here from those towns that can opine on the school systems? When I ask friends (who don’t live in Maplewood, but do live in NJ), they often say “It’s a great town, but the schools aren’t great.” I don’t always know what that means, you know?
Anonymous says
It means they don’t like maplewood because they let black kids go to school there. If you care about diversity you can’t listen to people who will tell you that Chatham and milburn are your only options.
ElisaR says
Morristown, Maplewood and Montclair all have strong school systems and are fairly racially diverse. They are all pretty pricey areas so they are not so economically diverse but that’s the tradeoff I guess. You may want to consider taxes (Montclair is in Essex county which I remember being higher but I live in a different county so I’m not positive).
Maplewood’s Columbia high school is pretty well regarded…. Lauryn Hill and Zach Braff are grads! (I know that doesn’t matter but I love tidbits like that)
Go for it says
FYI..Taxes in Montclair are serious, even for a tiny home.
Anonymous says
Not in NJ so not sure about websites. We found our neighborhood by just driving around different areas after we narrowed it down to 4 larger areas. DH and I used to get coffee on Sunday afternoon and just drive around for a half hour with the kids and stop at local playgrounds when they got grumpy. As far as the kids knew we were visiting different playgrounds. Our house wasn’t on the market. We mailed letters to 20 houses we were interested in, got four responses, looked at two and bought one. We’ve since learned that our neighborhood is so popular that stuff rarely comes on the market. There’s a lot of word of mouth within the university and the hospital (we work at neither). A sister of a friend moved next door after I heard our neighbor was moving and told my friend (who had told me her sister was looking to get into our neighborhood).
Anon says
I love that you just mailed letters to houses you were interested in. I feel like I wouldn’t have the b@lls to do that.
Anonymous says
Good schools are good school, but the culture around sports/academics can help you sift through the options. At the high school I went to, most of the top students were also athletes, but kids were known and recognized for their academics. At the high school our kids are distracted to go to, kids go on to good schools, but many to play sports. A smart, athletic kid here is valued more for athletics by peers. My own high school sent kids to Ivies and D3 schools; my kids’ school has probably the same or similar Ivy attendees but TONS more D1 schools–and the kids play college sports.
Neither is better, but it is a different look/feel around sports.
Anokha says
Thank you! This is so interesting to me, and something I hadn’t thought of.
Au Pair help says
We are nearing the end of the first year with our au pair. She gets a 1-week summer vacation and has decided to go on a road trip with another au pair for 6 days, including to states that are completely open. I feel like we can’t tell her what to do on her vacation, but I’m also not sure how to handle it. We could ask her to quarantine for 2 weeks when she returns, but I’m not sure how that would work in practice and I think we have to pay her anyway? I’m pretty sure if we tell her she can’t go she will ask to either go to another family or back to her home country, at which point we are SOL with no more au pairs coming to the country. We have 3 kids under 6 and there’s no way we can handle not having child care. Tests in our area are still limited to people with symptoms or known exposure. WWYD?
Anonymous says
I would have her quarantine for a week when she comes back. Most people are symptomatic 5-7 days after exposure. Pay her for the week. View it as buying yourself stress relief of not having to deal with finding new childcare but also reducing risk.
If you ask her to return on a Saturday and she doesn’t start work again until the following Monday that’s 10 days so you can feel relatively confident that she doesn’t have it. If you’re offering to pay her for the week, she should be amenable to accommodating the Saturday (or Sunday) return.
Anonymous says
Why should she be amenable to cutting her limited vacation short? Don’t ask this.
IHeartBacon says
Because her employer requires it and her job would be at risk if she didn’t. And her employer would be paying her to return early and pay her to quarantine. Why is that an unreasonable ask?
Anonymous says
Her employer should not be requiring her to return from vacation early. If her employer wants her to spend more time quarantined her employer can pay for that time.
IHeartBacon says
Yes, but the OP said she has 3 kids under 6 and needs the childcare, which means the more workday quarantine time the au pair takes, the less childcare the OP has. It’s not an unreasonable ask to ask the au pair to return on a Saturday instead of a Monday in exchange for two days’ of paid time. If the au pair doesn’t want to, fine. But it’s not an unreasonable offer.
Anonymous says
Yes it is unreasonable! If OP needs childcare she can pay for it. If she needs quarantine to be comfortable she can pay for it! Can’t believe people are actually suggesting she require her au pair, who is very young and not well laid anyway, to sit in quarantine on a Saturday and Sunday when she would otherwise be off work. This is unacceptable.
Anonymous says
@ Anon 11:25
No one has suggested what you have stated. The aupair takes her one week vacation. She has an entitlement to one week of vacation per OP. She returns from vacation and OP pays her to quarantine for a week after the vacation in order to reduce the risk to the kids. Whether aupair can quarantine at their house or needs to be in a hotel depends on the set up in their house.
Literally no one suggested the au pair’s vacation be cancelled. That doesn’t even make sense – why would she quarantine when she hasn’t gone anywhere?
IHeartBacon says
I don’t know if this is some issue unique to au pairs – where you’re not allowed to shift their scheduling around – but asking an employee to quarantine and paying the employee during her quarantine is not illegal, unethical, or immoral. The fact that an employee is “very young” and should be allowed to enjoy her weekends shouldn’t factor into the OP’s decision. If running wild and free on the weekend is important to the au pair, I’m sure she’ll decline the request. If this were a blog for au pairs, then I’d probably be saying the same things you say, but it’s not. This is a blog with a question from a working mom who is trying to find reasonable solutions during an unfathomable time in history. Offering to pay her employee in exchange for quarantining herself during a pandemic is not unreasonable. In reality, I don’t think the recommendation will work because the au pair is vacationing with a friend and will therefore unlikely be able/willing to return early, but that doesn’t mean the suggestion isn’t fair. Also (and this is more to be snippy than constructive), if daycares can ask parents for full tuition in exchange for zero childcare, then the OP can ask her au pair to sit at home doing no work for 2 extra days in exchange for full pay.
Anonymous says
How is she cutting it short? She gets a week off – OP would just be asking to schedule the week to minimize the impact on the family which is a fairly standard ask of au-pairs and nannies.
Anon says
Talk with her about your concerns and what you’ve been doing as a family to stay safe. If given the choice of paying a quarantine or no childcare, the two weeks is worth it (assuming au pair is willing to quarantine). However, if au pair is planning this road trip, it indicates that she may have a different risk tolerance than your family. I’d worry about her day-to-day choices in her off hours. As much as you need her for more childcare, think about whether she’ll be happy to make choices that align with your family’s going forward.
Anonymous says
I think it really depends on what she is doing on vacation. If it’s a hiking/camping road trip then the risk isn’t likely that high compared to city travel.
IHeartBacon says
Agreed. If the “open states” the au pair plans to visit are Montana and Wyoming, that means something different than Georgia and Florida.
anon says
Have you spoken with her about her plans on her road trip? Au pairs (and everyone) are all over the place on what they think is a good idea. I interviewed one au pair who wanted to fly to Florida to vacation in Miami and go bar hopping the week before starting with my family (the first week in August). Another au pair was planning to road trip to camp and and visit state parks in relatively safe states. The latter seemed to have a much better understanding of the importance of social distancing.
I do think if you say no that she will rematch. During the quarantine week, are you planning to have her stay in a hotel or to stay with you? I expect that paying for a week of a hotel and quarantine would be cheaper than finding other childcare right now. It’s really a shame that COVID testing isn’t available, or you could wait 5 days and pretty reliably test.
Anonymous says
It is available what are you talking about?
anon says
Rematch? Yes, lots of au pairs are switching to families with less stringent COVID expectations right now (or who are willing to pay more or who live on a beach in California).
Anonymous says
The OP has stated in her state you can’t get testing unless you have suspected exposure or symptoms.
anon says
As acknowledged in my reply. I’m not sure of your point?
Anonymous says
I thought anon at 10:37 was saying that covid-19 testing *is* available, when clearly OP stated it’s not.
Anonymous says
I’d let her go and come back like normal.
Anonymous says
I would discuss her plans. I live in an open state, and I feel like you could reasonably safely road trip through here with hotels/airbnb/take out/camping, etc. But if those aren’t her plans, you might wish to be more cautious. I’d say worst case scenario is 7-10 days quarantining at a hotel or airbnb near you after she gets home. While not ideal, it still seems like a better option that finding new childcare. You could consider whether you have some online or administrative tasks she can do during that time, but that might not be allowed with an au pair.
anne-on says
Nope, sadly that’s not allowed – au pairs are pretty limited in what they can do if it isn’t directly for the kids. I suppose you could ask her to look up and study home schooling resources for the kids but even that might be a grey area.
anon says
You could ask her to try to take an online class to satisfy her education requirement during this week.
anne-on says
Depending on the agency, she may not be allowed to do a virtual class. In person classes (for the cultural exchange) are a pretty big requirement for au pairs. They only allowed virtual classes this year in our agency (cultural care) around April, and it was a a state to state thing – if your state was open, you were expected to go in person.
Just a general point, and not flaming anyone in general, but I don’t think people who haven’t hosted au pairs are aware of just how many rules and regulations there are to protect the au pairs. Yes, bad families exist, but in general I’m very over being treated like I we all use au pairs as cheap slave labor when that is very much not the case for the majority of families.
anon says
Good call–we do have an au pair and her class was switched to being online in March b/c of the pandemic. I had assumed it still covered her requirement since my au pair didn’t say anything. It’s good to check with your agency, but given the pandemic there many be online options right now.
Totally agree on your point host families shouldn’t be vilified. Our au pairs have all called the experience the best year (or two) of their life. They had a great time. The NY times article linked seemed to somehow make it the host family’s fault that there was a pandemic and au pairs can’t travel as much, when most host families are working really to keep our au pairs happy so they don’t rematch.
anne-on says
How much time is left on your contract overall? We decided to let our au pair finish up her time with us about 3 weeks early and go to her next family over a similar issue. They were fine with paying her salary for ‘our’ remaining weeks, and it made us feel more comfortable than asking her (and hoping she would) quarantine properly.
That being said, it also meant that we had to hire child care earlier than expected and I’m taking some time off to cover the gap. For us, the bigger issue was that her travel would impact our child’s ability to go to camp or school (if it goes back at all in person) which I was NOT willing to gamble on.
Au Pair help says
We have a year left — just reupped for the coming year. The kids like her and for the most part she’s worked out fine — but she’s 22, so she just has a different sense of risks. We’ve talked to her about masks but I fully expect that she will take it off 10 minutes after leaving and not wear one again, especially if she is in towns where they are not mandated. As for what she is doing, she is somewhat vague — she and the friend “want to see part of the country” and I think they are just planning to hit the interstate and plan as they go. I’m fine with them staying in hotels, but expect they will eat in restaurants and maybe go to bars. Maybe pick up men. Who knows. I don’t expect her to be completely honest with me about everything she does.
If I were confident about finding other child care, I would let her go over this. But a nanny is cost prohibitive (if we could even find one) and the au pair agency says our likelihood of getting another au pair is essentially zero.
I like the idea of paying for her to be in a hotel for one week (and maybe beg/borrow for a test somewhere) but unless she is in my house I’m not sure I would believe that she is staying isolated. I think we could handle one week where she is in her basement apartment and we take meals to her.
Anonymous says
A week at home in her apartment sounds reasonable. You can bring meals down or treat for food delivery. I can’t imagine she’d objected to an extra week of ‘staycation’.
anne-on says
Oh man, I’m so sorry and I totally understand why you’re trying so hard to make this work. There are SO few au pairs that you’re 100% right that if you push her she may well rematch. Ugh. With that in mind, I’d let her know that when she returns you will require her to (fully!) quarantine in your house for at least a week (can you do 10 days?) and lay out what that means – no in person interactions, no shopping/takeout/eating at restaurants/etc. because from what I’ve seen many au pairs think ‘quarantine’ means ‘lets just all meet up outside!’. You really can’t control her vacation. It stinks. And I’m sure in normal times you’d rematch but it is not normal times.
If you can afford (and find!) a part time nanny maybe I’d start to pursue that road now as well – I would just really not feel comfortable with an au pair who doesn’t full understand the gravity of the pandemic, especially as cases will likely continue to rise. In our area at least there is a huge pool of college kids not going back/day care teachers staying home/etc. so my fingers are crossed for you that you can make this au pair work or find other decent options!
Anonymous says
You’d fire her for taking vacation she is entitled to? Wow. Just wow.
anon says
First of all, it’s not like she’d just be “fired.” She gets to live with you while she finds a new host family with the help of her agency. Au pairs have lots of options right now. She could easily find another family.
Second, the issue isn’t her taking a vacation, but for having different expectations re COVID safety. That’s totally a reason many families have rematched.
Anon says
i would put her in the basement apartment for the week, or maybe more like 8-10 days and she can watch tv or whatever without accessing any other parts of the house. you can stock it with snacks/beverages before she returns and then bring her meals. i wouldn’t mind a paid week off to sit at home and veg. i know that au pairs are only allowed to do stuff related to the kids – could she look up art projects or sensory activities or recipes to cook with the kids or something if you wanted to giver her some ‘work’ to do?
anon8 says
If she’s traveling is that enough leverage to say she’s been exposed so she can get tested? I would suggest looking into what it takes to get a test since that would give me the most peace of mind. I think having her quarantine for a week in her basement apartment is a good idea.
Anon says
one question i have is what rules (if any) have you put in place for her days off while this whole thing has been going on? i don’t know where you live, but are there any states on her list you are more comfortable with than others? if you really like her, i would consider finding a way for her to quarantine upon return, though if you got her an air bnb or something, do you trust she would literally not leave? what is her space like in your home? is it totally separate? There was an interesting article about au pairs in the times over the weekend: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/17/style/this-is-not-the-america-these-au-pairs-were-expecting.html
Anonymous says
You don’t get to give your au pair rules for her days off she isn’t a slave.
Anonymous says
It’s totally reasonable to expect childcare providers to follow best practices for reducing covid transmission whether that is daycares, nannies, or aupairs. Who would employ an aupair that’s out at bars every weekend?
It’s not ‘slavery’ to want your childcare provider to be responsible in their off duty conduct when that conduct can create real risk to your children. Your tone is unnecessary and attitude is not constructive.
anon says
She’s living with your family, so you can absolutely discuss expectations for COVID-19 safety. If it’s not a good fit, then she can find another family. There are tons of families looking for au pairs right now.
anon says
OP, one option would be to offer her a bonus in the amount that you would have to pay for a hotel and a week of childcare if she takes her vacation at the end of her term, or once COVID restrictions have lifted. You may be able to buy her out, especially if she thinks she could get a better vacation later.
anne-on says
This is a really good point – I’d be totally down to offer an extra week around the Xmas holidays or in the spring if she’s willing to skip out on travel now. We’ve also been known to gift our rockstar au pairs hotel rooms/car service rides/etc. using point from work travel (if you’re normally in hostels or schlepping home from flights on a train, a hotel room for a few nights or a car picking you up is a real treat!)
Anonymous says
But she may legitimately need time off. If I did this, I would probably combine it with an offer of a staycation for the week, too. Everyone needs a break once in a while. I realize this would amount to an extra week of vacation. But it seems really reasonable to take your vacation in the middle of the work arrangement.
anon says
Perhaps phrase it as offering a bonus/extra vacation later if she can come up with a vacation plan that doesn’t require a week of quarantine? I’m sure OP is fine with some vacation-y activities, just not high risk ones.
Anon says
I’m in the minority I guess, but I would be inclined to just let it go assuming no one in your family is high risk. Even in hotspots, the odds that one person will contract the virus in the span of one week are really low. Unless your au pair is perfectly self-isolating at home (and I suspect she isn’t, if she’s this cavalier about her vacation), your odds of exposure are probably cumulatively much greater through her day-to-day activities. Also, keep in mind that if your kids were going to daycare or school or with a nanny, you would not have any say in the vacation plans of their classmates or caregivers, so even with the vacation this is still a comparatively low risk childcare plan (and you need childcare).
Anonymous says
Are kids allowed in childcare if they’ve traveled though? I’m in Canada so maybe the rules are stricter here but kids aren’t allowed in daycare or schools if anyone in the home has traveled outside the province in the last 14 days so in OPs case, if au pair came back like normal, the kids couldn’t go to daycare.
anon says
My son is supposed to start kindergarten at a private school in 2 weeks. We had an hour-long Zoom with the school principal last week about the precautions the school is taking, and there was no mention that students that travel must quarantine. It also seems like it would be hard to enforce and quite arbitary. For example, a child’s risk from living with a healthcare provider or an essential worker or just a parent going into the office is probably greater than a child who goes on a socially distant camping trip. But the school also doesn’t want to be in the position of judging parents’ employment options, or judging families’ vacation choices.
Anon says
I read this as she has an au pair instead of daycare. If she has daycare, then she could fire her au pair without worrying about not having childcare, right? My point was just that daycare (and even a nanny in many cases) is as risky or riskier than an au pair, even when you factor in the vacation.
But fwiw, no I don’t think it’s universal in the US for daycares to ban people who’ve had family members travel. My daycare says they “reserve the right to exclude children or staff who have traveled to Covid-19 hotspots with the past 14 days” but it only applies to enrolled kids and staff, not their family members. I’ve never heard of anyone being excluded based on this policy. Most families, including us, took family vacations this summer to states with rising case counts (that’s basically the whole US at this point) but they were what I would consider pretty safe as far as vacations go: road trips, cabin or vacation home rental, outdoor activities where social distancing is possible. A few friends have daycare centers that expressly ban international travel but not any travel within the US, which is pretty silly since the US has just about the highest infection rate in the world at this point. But their centers wouldn’t require a quarantine after a trip like the one the au pair is taking.
Anonymous says
I saw this yesterday and I thought it was a very interesting read. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/19/health/coronavirus-premature-birth.html
Anon says
Very interesting, thanks for sharing. Pregnant myself, this is the first encouraging read during this time.
Audrey III says
This has been all over my social media, and was an interesting but tough read for me as a preemie mom (with a now very healthy 5YO) who works in a big job with lots of stress and travel. Definitely brought back a lot of the feelings of blaming myself for his premature birth, even though multiple doctors told me it wasn’t something I could have caused.
Anonymous says
Yeah that’s my worry. Another way to blame women.
Anon says
Yes, if it’s something like air pollution, they’re not going to want to change that.
Anon says
So we’re in favor of scientific exploration and hypotheses when we agree with the findings, like “wear masks”, but we hate and disbelieve research when it might challenge our own opinions and lifestyle…got it.
Anon says
Nobody is disbelieving it, they’re just saying they hope it won’t be something held over women’s heads if something goes wrong in pregnancy. No pregnant woman not living in “normal” times would be able to spend the last 10 weeks confined to her house without losing her job and getting a lot of help from others.
Anon says
Hi from another preemie mom of a now healthy 3 YO with a big job with lots of stress. It’s definitely not something you did. I’ve seen a lot of speculation on this article that we don’t have full information yet and it’s entirely possible the reduction in preemies is coupled with an increase in miscarriages and stillbirths because a lot of prenatal appointments/care have been cancelled. Also, as for stress, I’m currently pregnant and am under WAY MORE STRESS with this pregnancy. I don’t know any moms who are under less stress during quarantine so the suggestion that it’s a reduction in stress that is causing this seems nonsensical to me.
Anonymous says
I have not looked into it but have read that the rate of stillbirth/fetal demise has increased due to less in-person prenatal appointments and people not wanting to go in for checks even if they had reduced fetal movements/felt something was wrong.
Anon says
I don’t know about reasons, but friends in OB fellowships have reported seeing much higher rates of stillbirths this spring/summer.
Audrey III says
Hugs. Thanks for this Anon at 11:55. And good luck with this pregnancy!
Pogo says
Also, who is getting all this rest and support from their families? I have been 1000% more stressed under lockdown than my normal life, and while we allowed my parents into my quarantine bubble that was a tough decision that is not possible for many people.
Noting that this came out of mostly European countries with strong social safety programs seems to say more about that than about anything the women themselves have done.
Anonymous says
I thought the same thing. It didn’t seem like it could be related to no stress to me!
anon says
There are studies that show that certain working conditions, including long hours and long periods of time standing, affect the rate of preterm birth. The same studies show that employment in general does not increase the rate of preterm birth. It’s possible that enough women who have jobs requiring long periods of time standing, such as waitresses and hair stylists and retail workers, were home, and that affected the statistics. It would be interesting to compare those statistics to doctors and nurses, who have similarly high rates of preterm birth and probably worked more during the pandemic.
Pogo says
During the pandemic we resorted to video to get our 3yo to cooperate with pretty much… everything. Diaper changes, getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc. It used to be I could just hand him my phone and put on a Youtube for 30s, but he’s gotten so demanding now he wants to keep watching for like another 15min and also he will demand the video when he knows we want him to do something.
I’ve had some success with switching it up with diapers to say, you get video if you try on the potty, but then that turns into him sitting on the potty for 15min claiming “I still have a poop coming” (we’re not actively potty training, but we encourage him to try if he wants to and he’s had a few successes).
Tips to wean him off this habit? He didn’t used to need it, and I’d like for him to be able to dress himself someday without a video. He will brush his teeth himself without the video about only 50% of the time. Now that daycare is back I feel like we are less at his mercy and it should be time to get more back into our normal routine. Goes without saying he does all this stuff for daycare provider with no video and no whining!
Cb says
I think you have to go cold turkey, YouTube no longer works on your phone. We gave into the video thing while potty training and honestly, his behaviour is so much worse when videos happen at random times throughout the day/in response to whining rather than the 1 hour session he gets after his quiet time.
Anonymous says
Video is only after he does the thing. This will involve a lot of him fussing and complaining. And a lot of you saying ‘no, first xyz then video’ or ‘no, video only after xyz’.So for potty, he tries for 5 mins and then gets a 5 minute video. Put an egg timer in the bathroom so he can see how long he needs to sit for. Brushes teeth for 2 mins? Gets a 2 min video. From there you can move on to distracting him with something else after the activity. Keep screens out of sight in a cupboard or on top of the fridge.
You can also let him earn tokens to trade in for video time if you think he’ll understand that system. one token is 5 mins screen time. He gets a token for brushing his teeth, going potty etc. He’s allowed to cash them in only at certain times (like while you cook dinner) or whatever. My kids didn’t really ‘get’ the token thing until elementary school.
Pogo says
I don’t think he’d get tokens yet, either. Like Cb above we regularly let him have 30-40min of TV in the evening while we cooked dinner in the Beforetimes, and he was not a monster about it. I’m totally fine going back to that (I’m not anti-screen time), just trying not to use it as a crutch like we have been.
Anonymous says
Cold turkey. You created this problem and only you can fix it. Start a new routine where your phone isn’t out or visible and introduce Video Time but for everything else “big boys don’t watch videos doing this.” It’s the only way.
Anonymous says
100% cold turkey. We let my toddler use a tablet during height of the pandemic out of desperation (we bought it for the older kids to do work on) and she got addicted. We put it on a shelf and don’t use it anymore.
Take the app off your phone and don’t use your phone around him if your phone is how he gets his screen time.
Anonymous says
I also think cold turkey, there’s no weaning if he’s having tantrums over it. We don’t do “earned” screen time. DD (3) watches tv during little brothers afternoon nap and knows that’s when she watches it. I think you can cold turkey for a week and then reintroduce at set times. It’ll be a bad week but you’ll survive.
octagon says
Kiddo would sit for 30 minutes if we let him. We finally adopted the strategy of saying, if you really have to poop, it will come in the first 3 minutes. If it doesn’t come right then, we’ll try again in an hour, and that trying too hard could hurt his bottom. Seemed to work.
Pogo says
Thanks guys! I figured cold turkey was best. Now that daycare is back I will have the fortitude to do it.
AnotherAnon says
Just another vote for cold turkey. When kiddo (3) returned to day care we went a week without screen time – including adult tv while kiddo was awake. You don’t have to do that but it really helped my 3 y/o understand that endless tv we allowed during quarantine was a thing of the past. Then I think you have a couple choices on the message. I’d go with either: YouTube is not on my phone anymore OR “Sorry kiddo [day care teacher] said no phone while getting dressed/brushing teeth/etc.” Oddly enough the latter has been a winning strategy for us (used with day care teacher’s full permission). We now have a set tv time based on recs from this board, actually. When tv time is done, that’s it. No negotiating for more. Again, contrary to my expectation, kiddo has fewer meltdowns with less tv because he understands the boundary. Good luck!
Anonymous says
I used the return to daycare to let go of a lot of the survival strategies we had adopted. We did keep Friday pizza and movie night, though, and all still look forward to it each week!
That said, I feel like my husband and child both essentially forgot how to live normal and function in a world that wasn’t just based on surviving.
DLc says
One thing that helps with our kids is letting them turn the device off themselves. I think for them it is partly a control issue and it gets triggered when I take the devices away or shut things off.
Also- we’ve switched to listening to Chompers podcast for teeth brushing. Still technically a screen, I guess, but listening not watching.
Anon says
Hopping on the book train! My 4 YO is obsessed with the dogman books, but sadly we’ve reached the end of the series. Any other silly picture heavy (or even better, comic book) series like dogman? he’s not reading on his own yet but seems to be capable of following pretty involved plots.
anon says
My 4 yo has been loving the Dragon Masters series.
anon says
My nephews liked Kung Pow Chicken (it is also a series, though I don’t think as many titles as dogman).
Anon says
My 4 year old likes DogMan too. Other similar books: Narwhal and Jelly, Babysitters Club Little Sisters, Captain Underpants, Miraculous Lady Bug, and there’s a Minecraft comic book too.
Other less comic-y options: All of the Roald Dahl books (heavily illustrated so easier to follow), Rosie Revere Engineer (and her other classmates), Princess in Black, and all of the Acorn/ Branches books from Scholastic. He’s really into Time Jumpers, Frog Meets Dog, and Meet Crabby series at the moment.
AwayEmily says
Mia Mayhem!
Blueridge29 says
Hilo the boy who crashed to earth is another good graphic novel – someone on here recommended it originally.
My kids also liked the jedi academy graphic novels if your son is into Star Wars.
Jeffiner says
The Bad Guys series is picture heavy, and my daughter loves them. Also a huge fan of the Princess in Black.
Anonymous says
Fly guy. They’re pretty silly but my 3.5 year old loves them.
ElisaR says
i’ve never heard of dogman but i’m going to buy some now! thanks.
Patio Furniture - Great Escape says
I’m about to purchase some patio furniture from Great Escape. The salesperson will not negotiate at all and blames Covid for low inventory, etc. (1) does anyone in the Midwest know if the Great Escape typically negotiates and I should keep trying, and (2) does anyone know if Covid has truly affected patio furniture supply? It very well could have, but I am also trying to research it.
Anon says
Yes, nearly every major newspaper has covered how people with no financial problems are now spending big on home projects (additions, pools, outdoor furniture) since vacations and travel are scaled back this year. Your salesperson is 100% correct.
Anonymous says
I believe this…cause we’re doing it haha. New fence, backyard projects, and some new furniture.
Anonymous says
In terms of supply chain, I can’t imagine that they are not impacted. I work in manufacturing and depending on where the product is made (and all the components, too) we had less than 20% of people showing up to work at the factory at times. Even now that the pandemic is better and more testing/masks/etc is available, most plants can’t run at full capacity because of the need for social distancing.
The fact that they won’t negotiate does point to the previous poster’s point about people with disposable income spending it. If they don’t need to get the sale by giving you a discount, it must mean they are making their margins elsewhere.
anon says
Just don’t order from Wayfair or its sister companies. Apparently their shipping is delayed by at least two or three months. We’re still waiting on a patio umbrella that we ordered in May. I’ve spoken with Wayfair several times now and they are incredibly disorganized and behind.
Anonymous says
OP here. Thanks, everyone. I know folks are taking on these projects (just like us), but I really needed the confirmation because I hate spending money, lol.
Toddler thumb sucking advice? says
Any advice for getting a very stubborn three year old to stop sucking his thumb? The dentist says that it is now impacting his oral development . . .
FVNC says
If you figure this out, please report back! Exact same situation over here.
anon says
Does he do it all the time or just in bed?
Anonymous says
All the time. It’s an anxiety coping mechanism.
anon says
Hmm, so one of my 3yos chews her fingernails when anxious and we’ve been able to redirect her to chewing on a necklace instead. My thumb-sucker isn’t as interested in the chew necklaces, but she also only sucks her thumb when tired, not as a coping mechanism. It might be worth a try; I believe the chewing habit isn’t as bad for tooth development.
HSAL says
We had a longtime finger-sucker who said she wanted to stop, but it was habit for her. The bad-tasting nail polish did the trick in less than a weekend. I was stunned.
Katarina says
We had luck with just reminding him not too. He kept sucking it in bed for a while, but eventually transitioned to chewing everything, which is still problematic. At 4, he has bitten off pieces of a toy dinosaur, chewed through brand new shirts, chewed on stickers, chewed on tiny legos, and chewed through his special stuffed animal who was stuffed with tiny little beads. Fortunately he was totally satisfied with his replacement stuffed animal.
Anon says
Three year olds are old enough for fidget toys or other small hand activities (I cannot get mine to crochet or cross stitch, but I know someone who swears hers does).
Anon says
Masks mostly broke my 2.5 year old’s finger-sucking habit. She still does it at nap and bedtime but we’re not worrying about that for now. Pandemic silver linings!
Anonymous says
Nothing worked for us, and my 1st grader reverted to frequent thumb sucking as a coping mechanism this past Spring for obvious reasons.
We used some of the bad-tasting nail polish (Mavala Stop, you can get it online) as a reminder, but until kiddo was self-motivated because of peer pressure and having alternate ways of coping, he found ways around that, too.
We had the same issue says
Late response, but we bought a T-Guard thumbguard for our stubborn three year old. He had been thumb sucking primarily at night and before breakfast, but with the pandemic it became a all-through-the-day thing. The nasty tasting stuff did not deter him.
The thumb guards have little holes that prevent suction. We bought one, as my son had only ever sucked on his right thumb. Then he switched to his left, so we bought another. He looked a bit like Edward Scissorhands.
One thing to watch out for is that he figured out how to take it off, as my husband hadn’t tightened it enough. Once he figured out how to take it off, it became harder to enforce. That said, we are now at a point where he doesn’t do it all during the day, just a few minutes at night while he is falling asleep. We no longer use the thumbguards, but we go in and pull his thumb out, and it usually doesn’t go back in until he is starting to wake up in the morning.