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I recently had a spa treatment where they analyzed my scalp and recommended services and products tailored to my particular scalp “ailments.” Mine in particular was a lot of product buildup and the need to exfoliate my scalp more frequently (or at all). Luckily for me, there are several hair product lines from companies that are realizing scalp exfoliation is a common need for people. This line, Ouai (pronounced “way,” which I’ve had to google and re-google several times because I keep forgetting), has a scalp and body combination scrub. Now that we’re hopefully rounding the corner from winter to spring, it couldn’t hurt to get some of that dry winter skin off and emerge a beautiful butterfly. (Sorry, I’m reading A Very Hungry Caterpillar pretty frequently these days.) The scrub is available at Sephora for $38. Scalp and Body Scrub This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 3.28.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
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- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off entire site
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- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; 50% off select swim; 50% off kids’ styles
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
Silly question but you ladies always have a good way with words.
I’m heading to a conference on the west coast later this week while 20-some weeks pregnant with hyperemesis. I probably should’ve reconsidered but it’s too late now. I can manage the vomiting most of the day with medication but it’s the worst in the evenings and can’t be managed. There’s a number of late receptions and dinners I’m supposed to attend but I expect that I will feel too sick (and tired, with the time change). My hope, if I feel sick, is to stop by the cocktail hours then bow out before dinner. But what should I say? It feels a little silly to fly across the country then miss events so I feel like I need to say something.
Anonymous says
How large are the conferences? Can you just excuse yourself to go to the washroom/refill your drink towards the end of the cocktail hour and head back to your room? If it’s a large conference, it’s unlikely that anyone will notice that you did not attend the dinner. It’s not uncommon that conference attendees may have to skip social events to deal with work matters so it may not be noticed.
Anonymous says
What you should say is “I can’t attend this conference because I am too sick to travel.” Because that is true and ok.
anne-on says
Please please give yourself permission to skip the dinners and networking events. I had an almost identical situation in (with east coast to LA travel) for a 3 day event at roughly 20 weeks pregnant though my hyperemesis was worst in the AM. Long story short, daytime events were fine, but I was SO exhausted/sick/tired from the events and the long flight that I landed myself in the hospital overnight when I got back due to elevated heart rate (baby’s) that wasn’t resolving on its own. Everything was fine but I put my foot down and refused to do any more air travel, and none at all after 32 weeks. Your health and your baby’s health come first.
Also – consider this a way to practice setting limits around your time. I was SO reluctant to do that at first as a new parent and it is one of the things I try to council other coworkers to do now. Figure out your limits, communicate them, and don’t apologize.
anon op says
Thank you. This is helpful and good to be mindful of. This is my 2nd kid so I’m used to setting some limits but clearly not enough!
Anonymous says
If you feel too sick to go — it’s not too late. Just say you’re too sick. If you feel too sick for the evening events — to the extent someone will be expecting you or needs to make plans around your attendance (assigned seating, etc.), tell them you are too sick to attend (I guess it’s know your audience re whether to bring up why). People understand that people get ill — it’s part of life.
Knope says
First, echo what others say about considering whether you’re up to going to the conference at all. But if you are, I assume that it’s obvious at this point that you’re pregnant? If so, people will understand. Just say “Apologies I can’t attend the dinner – I’m still fighting fatigue and sickness during my pregnancy and need to rest and recover in the evenings.” Unless you’re in a field where few people have children, I bet you everyone who has been pregnant or who has had a pregnant partner will understand, and even those who haven’t are likely to know someone who struggled with all-day sickness in pregnancy.
Lana Del Raygun says
Speaking of scalp exfoliation, does anyone have an opinion on those scalp brushes I keep seeing ads for on Facebook?
Patty Mayonnaise says
I have always had lots of scalp issues (seborrheic dermatitis) and I find a scalp brush to be really helpful. Mine was just like $10 on amazon I think!
HSAL says
I’ve seen comments from people asking/talking about pelvic floor therapy, so wanted to share this post from The Lean Green Bean. https://www.theleangreenbean.com/should-i-see-a-pelvic-floor-specialist/ [I’ve never had any issues so I can’t speak to the content, but it’s the most informative thing I’ve seen on the topic]
Redux says
I am one of those people. Thank you!
Where is Mary Poppins? says
Ladies, talk to me about hiring a nanny. I’m starting a new job, which is going to be much more intense than my current super flexible job, so I’ve decided for my own sanity to move my children (ages 1 and 3) from full time daycare to a nanny (with preschool a few mornings a week). My hubs works a ton and travels, so he isn’t really reliable for childcare. Up until now, it’s all been on me. Anyway, I’m having such a hard time finding and trusting someone. I What did you look for when hiring your nanny? Any red flags? How did you find him/her? I’m trying to avoid an agency because of all the fees (don’t worry, I’m running background and reference checks). It’s such a major decision for our family, and such a big change, I’m struggling. Thanks so much!
RR says
I love care.com. I’ve always had lots of options for whatever role we are trying to fill (full-time nanny, occasional care, house cleaner). They have reviews (not everyone has been reviewed, but you can avoid red flags), the ability to chat with someone before committing to phone calls and meetings, and an associated payroll service that makes everything so easy from a payroll perspective (you can do care.com without the payroll service or the payroll service without hiring through care.com). Fees are minimal–just a small fee for the site (a little more for the payroll service, but still very reasonable for the service provided).
dxc says
It sounds like you’re really researching the caregivers, which is fantastic. Not sure if you heard but there was a recent article in the WSJ about how care.com basically does not screen listed care givers.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/care-com-puts-onus-on-families-to-check-caregivers-backgroundswith-sometimes-tragic-outcomes-11552088138
RR says
Yes, I was aware of that when I was hiring and screened them myself (I did not opt for a background check because my children are older and the nanny I hired has a day job with a local school system that would have run a check, but that’s an add on option). Good reminder though that you have to do your own screening with care.com (but you would with any non-agency nanny hiring).
Anon says
I know a nanny works great for some families, but if your children are currently happy in daycare, I’d be inclined to keep them there. If you think drop-offs and pick-ups will be a struggle, you could hire someone just to help with that. Or hire additional services around the house – housekeeping, grocery delivery, etc.
Caveat that I don’t live in a big city, but our nanny search was really, really hard. Most of the candidates we screened weren’t professional nannies and had little childcare experience (just some baby-sitting). We did find several people to interview, including one who had nannied for a couple other families and seemed really great. We hired her (after glowing references and a clean background check) and it’s been a disappointment. She is sweet to our toddler, and toddler likes her, but that’s about all the positive stuff I can say. She doesn’t take direction at all, regularly goofs up pretty basic childcare things (feeding choking hazards, wiping back to front), doesn’t do anything around the house and has taken a lot of time off (all with advance notice, but it’s meant DH and I have burned through our PTO and can’t take a family vacation this year). And we’re paying over $20+ an hour (plus assorted taxes). Daycare would cost half that.
I guess what I’m saying is that if you’re already feeling like “I’m having such a hard time finding and trusting someone” that IS a red flag and you should listen to your gut. Just two cents from someone who could have written your post a year or so ago (minus the intense job).
AwayEmily says
+1 to this — if you’re happy with daycare (and especially if daycare gives discounts for part-time), it might be worth hiring someone just for pickup/afternoons (to get them enough hours, you could have them pick the kids up at 3:30 and even start dinner).
Like Anon says, this is to some extent a “know yourself” thing. I know that if we had a nanny it would drive me nuts for a variety of reason. This is NOT a knock on nannies, just a product of my own personality. So if you are feeling like this is really hard, maybe that’s a sign that nannies are not a great fit for you either.
Regardless, good luck!
Anonymous says
+1 to the time off point. Daycare is open every day, except major holidays and snowstorms that shut the whole city down (ours regularly remain opens when the public schools close). Many nanny contracts specify a week or two of paid vacation, a couple weeks of paid sick leave, and weather days when the public schools are closed. It actually seems way more challenging to me to have a nanny + an intense, inflexible job because you will have so many more days when you need to stay home or find emergency backup care.
RR says
On the flip side, a nanny can be home with your child when they are sick and can’t be in daycare.
We’ve done both–daycare for 10 years, then a switch to an after-school/summer nanny when my kids were 10 and 4. I don’t know that I would have preferred a nanny when the kids were young for a lot of reasons (socialization, cost), but it’s fantastic with my slightly older kids.
Anon says
Her kids are 1 and 3 though and have likely been though the worst of the daycare illnesses and don’t get sick that much. From friends who have kids in daycare, it seems like after the first winter in daycare, you have maybe a handful of sick days the entire year. Our nanny has taken off far more than that.
And I know this might not matter for someone in a more intense job, but in my 9-5 office job, I can use sick leave to care for my sick child, and I have tons of sick leave. I have to use vacation time whenever our nanny is absent or sick, and so the result is I’ve burned through all my vacation time, something I’m quite salty about. If your employer distinguishes between sick leave and vacation time (and most do), it’s something to think about.
anon says
I echo this. We also switched when the kids started elementary school. I vastly preferred daycare when they were little, because it was always open, socialization, learning. (Not cost so much with three kids.) Also, with a 3 year old would you do preschool on top of that, because that adds to the cost. Our nanny is fine, but she does get sick/get a flat tire/want to take vacation from time to time, and we definitely could not have managed that with younger kids. Now it’s more or less fine because we have a larger network with school-aged kids and they are much more independent (e.g., I can pick them up and work from home, or they can go to a friend’s house and not be demanding).
I know some people at our child care center would have mothers’ helpers to do pickup, errands, start dinner etc. (When we only had one in child care, our nanny did this as well.)
Anonymous says
If you have the space and $$, daycare plus aupair might be a really good option. She can handle pick up and drop off and do some kids laundry/prep supper during the day or do some hours in the evening so you can go to the gym or meet friends. With DH traveling, my hardest times are mornings and evenings and a nanny doesn’t solve that for you.
Anon says
+1 My MIL worked full-time and had a long distance husband while DH and his sister were young. They went to dacyare and had an au pair, who mostly did pick-up and drop-off and helped my MIL in the evenings.
Anonymous says
+1 – If kids are in part-time daycare or preschool, she would have enough hours available that she could do pick-ups and cover for you i and/or your husband n the evening when when work is busy, and/or help out in the mornings and do kid chores. I’m in biglaw and we recently got an au pair, and it has been great so far. I also have kids in full-time daycare (although they spend less time there now than they used to, when we were always rushing to meet the 6 pm buzzer!)
Anonymous says
I should also add that this helps solve the sick-day issue for me. If au pair is sick, kids are still in daycare, and you we can manage the pick-ups, etc. If kid is sick, kid stays home with au pair, and she does less of the “extras” (chores or weekend help) for the week.
Anonymous says
Park Slope Parents has a really comprehensive guide to hiring a nanny that seems useful to people outside of NYC as well. https://www.parkslopeparents.com/Nanny-101/hiring-a-babysitter-part-1-preparation.html
Strategy Mom says
I second park slope parents as a good guide. We love having a nanny – we’ve asked her to make 2 meals each week and help with laundry for the whole family vs. just kids. It’s important to figure out what non-kid things you are both comfortable with upfront. We used facebook groups and a nanny placement agency to find someone. End of summer is a great time to hire, and beginning of summer too probably. It’s a lot harder outside of that cycle.
Nanny fan says
I know this board tends to be very pro-daycare, but I’m still surprised that you’re getting these comments even after you said you want to go the nanny route for your own sanity. I wanted to chime in to encourage you to keep looking for a nanny that is a good fit for your family! We have a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old both home with a nanny, and it is ideal for us.
More to your questions: We used care.com to find our nanny. We listed just the basics about the position (starting date, general location, hours, pay, leave) and carefully screened all the applicants. We got 70–80 applications, winnowed it down to a dozen for phone interviews, checked references on the handful who made it past the phone interview, and invited three for in-person “interviews” at our house that mostly involved the candidates interacting with our children. Then we made our choice based on whether our family clicked with the person. Of course we also did a background check.
If you’re having a hard time finding and trusting someone, then a good approach might be to make a list of likely scenarios that worry you or that you think could present problems. Then aim to craft your inquiries (during interviews and/or reference checks) to get the specific information you need to address those concerns. So if your new job will be very demanding and inflexible, ask both the candidates and their references how many times they called in sick/had their own emergencies/showed up late/couldn’t stay late/whatever. (Don’t ask for overall judgments of dependability/reliability/etc. because different parents will judge that differently.) Or if you know there are particular sibling dynamics the nanny will need to deal with, ask questions that test the candidates’ approaches to problems like that, and ask their references how the candidates handled (or didn’t) similar sibling disagreements. Again, ask for examples. Etc.
Obviously there are benefits and drawbacks to almost every care arrangement, but if you can find a nanny whose approach to childcare is similar to yours and/or who is open to your direction (or both!), I think you can hit the childcare jackpot. With the bonus that you may never have to do your children’s laundry again. ;)
Anonymous says
I’m also surprised by the posts above. I second all of your advice for the search itself.
OP – I’d also gently suggest that you might be shifting some of your anxiety about the new job onto the childcare set up. No one is going to be perfect, but very, very few people are truly terrible. Another avenue to find a candidate could be reaching out to the school your 3 year old will be attending to see if any current families have recommendations. Many families part ways with their nannies when their kids start all-day kindergarten and are eager to help the nannies find new jobs.
Anonymous says
I think a lot of the reaction is because she said her DH travels a lot and she is starting a new intense job. If her DH is traveling, and nanny is working 40 hours a week, she will either have to pay overtime or get a 2nd nanny as it’s unlikely that her intense job would be less than 40 hours plus there is commute time. Most parents stagger their schedules to work with a nanny’s 40-45 hr week and OP wouldn’t be able to do that with her DH traveling. Daycare allow more than 40 hours of care and au-pairs can help with the solo parenting in the mornings/evenings.
Anonymous says
Yeah, this. I’m not anti-nanny at all (we have one and it’s been great for our family) but I don’t see it as increasing flexibility for working parents or offering more childcare. Most nannies want to work no more than 45 hours/week and want to take vacations, personal days and call in sick. Daycares normally offer a minimum of 55 hours/week of care and are basically never closed. I feel like my flexible, 40 hours/week job is actually crucial to making a nanny setup work for our family. I think we’d have to switch to daycare if I lost my flexibility at work.
Original Poster says
Thank you! I needed this. We love our daycare, but like I said above, it’s just not working for us. Inclement weather closures (when there wasn’t even snow on the ground) and constantly sick kids who need to be picked up within an hour has taken its toll on me. We’ve thought about all the options, and we do think a nanny is the best for our family. We don’t want an au pair (I don’t want someone living with me). Thanks again for the great advice!
KateMiddletown says
Thanks for this post, OP. I’m going to be ISO a nanny (can’t do daycare due to immunocompromised kiddo) and I think the best tip I’ve received so far is tell everyone you know you’re looking for a nanny as soon as you can, and your real life social network can help find one. My SAHM friends know a lot of the nannies/babysitters around our school so I’m hoping to swipe up one of the ladies that formerly helped a family we know. Early prep is best, from what I can tell.
anon says
i purchased some of the old navy jeggings (the ones with no buttons) based on recs from this board. do they tend to stretch out? i am kind of in between sizes/so accustomed to clothing not feeling at all constricting since i’ve mostly been living in leggings post maternity wear. i actually weigh less than i did before pregnancy, but at 10 months post partum my belly is still huge – i honestly think i still look pregnant. i don’t really care, since i do a good job hiding it with clothes, but kind of dreading bathing suit season.
AwayEmily says
I don’t think they stretch out a ton — I usually wear mine for a couple of days before washing with no noticeable sagginess issues. It helps that they come up a bit higher so they stay up. I’m between two sizes at ON and got them in the bigger size, partly because I wanted them to be not skintight.
ElisaR says
my black ones stretched out a lot. My blue ones didn’t. I don’t wear my white ones enough to tell you yet….. (sorry that’s a really crappy answer but the truth!)
Sneakers says
I’ve had the same casual running-around-the-playground sneakers for over 10 years and it’s time for replacement. I don’t want anything fancy – I’m not sure I want to spend allbirds pricing. What else is on trend now, keeping in mind that I wear these for a long time apparently? I was looking at DSW and didn’t want to pick up Converse because they felt too young or outdated or something. Are Keds current?
Lana Del Raygun says
I think Keds are classic! Rothy’s make a sneaker (slip-on, like Vans) but they’re really expensive.
RR says
I think Keds are classic, but I love Superga for this purpose. To me, they just have a bit cooler styling than the Keds I wore in junior high. I also have and love the Rothy’s sneaker in black. Pricier than the Supergas to be sure, but the ability to throw them in the washer and keep them looking brand new is worth it to me.
Em says
I bought the Steve Madden Travelers because they are a knock off of Allbirds and half the price. They are super comfortable and look good with casual clothes.
Redux says
I love my adidas gazelles (and yes, I loved my adidas gazelles in 1995, too!). UGG also makes some really cute and comfortable sneakers. I have a pair of leather high tops– the Olive sneaker– in black and I feel very cool and sophisticated in them. Those might not last you 10 years, though, style-wise. The slip ons and low-tops look much more classic yet on-trend.
Anonymous says
I love classic New Balance, like the 574s
anon says
+1 They are so comfortable!
Anonymous says
I would do a knit All-birds knock off from a reputable sneaker brand (New Balance?). My last pair of kids had zero support and wore out quickly. If you’re a buy sneakers every 10 years type of person, I’d go for something with more support. Or some sleek Nikes or Adidas.
Spirograph says
I have keds and onitsuka tigers for this purpose. The tigers don’t slip on very well, though, if that is important to you.
AwayEmily says
Onitsuka Tigers forever! I get new ones about every 2-3 years. I’m due for a new pair but not a huge fan of any of the colors right now…
Ducky36 says
I love the Lounge LTT Sneaker from Sperry. They look a lot like Keds, but a little more sophisticated.
lawsuited says
My allbirds are my favourite shoes I’ve ever owned, and worth more than the many pairs of $40 sneakers I have put together.
Puddlejumper says
Leaving my newborn with a sitter for the first time next weekend. What should I have ready for her besides a list of emergency phone numbers and the WiFi code? She came to our house to meet the baby yesterday so I showed her where stuff was then. Anyone have a favorite sitter form they use?
Anonymous says
We also left home address and written version of routine with any tricks needed for sleep, etc.
anon says
Yes to the routine! Even if the sitter knows everything there is to know about baby schedules, your baby is unique and will do best staying on his/her own routine.
Speaking from experience, it is nearly impossible to think through things when the LO is pissed because auntie’s car requires a seat belt across her lap (in an infant seat) instead of being clicked into a base (or whatever other little thing that makes them angry when they are hungry at the end of the day). Having a full schedule written down for basically every hour you will be gone will be hugely helpful, even if they don’t stick to it. You might also note which parts are very flexible vs which parts should be stuck to if at all possible (e.g., morning nap is optional based on baby’s personality/day’s activities, but afternoon nap is a MUST by 12:30:00 in the crib and no where else).
Other random things: how to work the remote and alarm (written down) and if any plants or pets need care and what to do/how much to feed, etc. You might also set out outfits for kiddo, even if only as a suggestion. I love picking out baby clothes but I didn’t know what fit, what baby preferred, etc. Finally, a note along the lines of: if all else fails, try ____ (binkie, food, bottle, walk outside, swing).
I also second the recommendations from CCLA…especially regarding the type of communication you want. If you want happy pictures and updates, say so! My caregiver default is to call or text only when NEEDED, not just because but many parents really love sweet picture updates.
CCLA says
I like to cover all the emergency preparedness (like where the stairs are if you live in an apartment). Also +1 to the address – in the event of an emergency the sitter is not going to know the address off the top of her head to tell a dispatcher. And safe sleep overview – I had a baby nurse once and I assumed she would follow safe sleep, but that had been doing this a long time, like since before the back to sleep campaign, and put rolled blankets as positioners in the crib. We had a chat, and now I do that proactively with anyone watching our infant.
More basic stuff: schedule/routine as someone mentioned above, amount kiddo should eat. If you use your phone as a monitor for the crib, make sure there’s an old phone or similar option available for sitter to be able to use the monitor. Oh, and depending on your preference, a heads up to the sitter about what is and isn’t a good reason to contact you – I didn’t want updates unless something was wrong. Some people prefer happy picture updates. Communicate expectations on that front!
linen dresses? says
Has anyone here bought a lightweight linen dress they use as a work horse through spring and summer weekends? My ideal would have pockets (for toddler action figures obviously) and be loose enough to accommodate a potential pregnancy. I looked at Pyne and Smith and Not Perfect Linen – just hoping for some person recs. Thanks. Love this community of women!
Anon for this says
Kiddo is having her fifth birthday party in a few weeks. We have a big yard and a biggish house, so we rented a moon bounce and invited her whole class plus a few non-school friends. Thus far 20+ kids and 25+ adults have RSVPed yes. I am mildly freaking out. I think all these kids will be fine running around in the yard, but what do I do to entertain a pack preschoolers indoors if it rains? (House is on the larger side, but it’s old so there isn’t some giant great room where everyone could gather, if that makes sense.)
Anonymous says
You could just have a rain date and reschedule if it rains
Redux says
Whoa that is a lot of people. I would probably go with rain date. We had an indoor b-day party for half that many 5-year olds + parents and even thought we had several party games planned, it was a lot to keep them all entertained and not running up and down the stairs and yelling like maniacs.
Anon says
Is this really something people do? My kid is young enough that we only go to parties for close friends and family, but we hold the date on our calendar, avoid booking trips etc., and I’d be pretty annoyed if they got rescheduled just because of rain (I live in a rainy place though, so half the parties would get rescheduled).
Anonymous says
Yes, but I live in NYC, where a lot of people don’t have homes conducive to large parties.
Anonymous says
Is there a garage? Can you park your cars on the street and set them up with sidewalk chalk on the garage floor?
anon. says
I think you have the option to turn it into a movie and popcorn party??
Not ideal obviously but it could work.
Anonymous says
You know your crowd but just a moon bounce and no other activities doesn’t sound like enough. Even the big ones max out at like 8 kids.
Craft station? Sidewalk chalk? Balls/nets? Water balloons? Treasure hunt? (Easter egg hunt style)? Do you have a big play structure for kids to use?
We went to a party like this and there was a bounce house, unicorn rides (horse in costume- 2 horses) and a dress up/selfie station and pizza truck. The kids whined that the unicorn rides took too long (30 kids, 2 horses), argued over whose turn it was for the bounce house, and spent 85% of the time eating or playing on the swings. Some kind of crafty thing would be good.
Is it a dropoff? 5 is about the age when dropoff parties became a thing.
Anon says
That sounds like a great party, but it should absolutely not set a bar that other people are expected to meet.
Our daughters fifth birthday party in a park included: two tree swings, an outdoor bluetooth speaker with some dance party props, 5 soccer balls, and some hula hoops. It was fine. The kids ran around and ate cake and pizza. Adults drank beer and looked on benevolently. It was great.
Redux says
OMG. Where do you live? This is like a scene from a movie, but one that is meant to read as “look at this ridiculousness.”
Anon for this says
No worries, we have a craft, coloring sheets, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, a trampoline, a sandbox, a playhouse, and a…uh…mud pit with shovels and old pie pans. No unicorn, though.
AwayEmily says
No unicorn?? Might as well cancel the party now. :-)
MomAnon4This says
You need 2 unicorns and the kids will still whine that it takes too long. What do you think they are, pegasuses???
Anonymous says
For my son at 5, the mud pit would absolutely have been the highlight. All he and his friends want to do at parties is play with each other and destroy things, like beating the pinata carcass after it has given up the candy.
Anon for this says
Maybe if it rains, I’ll just make the mud the pit the main activity. :)
Anonymous says
Yes! I’m the unicorn party attendee. This is what the kids wanted/needed, not the Unicorns. Which, now that we are in agreement that it was insane, were being led around by women dressed as princesses. Because of course. DH and I decided it reminded us of the birthday party scene in the second minion movie with Gru dressed as the princess.
Anon for this says
I bet those princesses have some stories to tell.
Anonymous says
Sorry, I posted about this party. My point was that while it is an insane party, the kids mostly did none of it and were bored and/or just played on the swing set and win the birthday girls chalk.
Anon for this says
No, I love it! And a great reminder that kids really just want to play.
anon says
Thank you for posting! I find it highly entertaining that parents get carried away like this!
Anonymous says
True story: similar size guest list, moon bounce + rain* happened to me last year for my kid’s 5 year old birthday. I gave up, closed the door to my bedroom, and let everyone have run of the house. We have an older house, and not a very big one either, so it was chaos. It also took hours to clean up afterward. TL/DR: Just brace yourself, it will be fine.
The kids still used the moon bounce. We set up our pop-up 10×10 picnic canopy with a tarp under it in front of the entrance to the moon bounce, and I brought out every beach towel and old bath towel we own and had 2 baskets: one for dry towels, one for wet. I’d run them down to the dryer and keep the rotation going as best I could.
Inside, the adults kind of congregated in the living room or kitchen/dining room or hovered near their kids. The kids spread out in the basement family room (various types of blocks, toys), upstairs kids’ bedrooms (dress up clothes, train set, more toys), or chased each other weaving in and out of grown-ups’ legs on the main floor. I’m not sure whether it was a great party for the adults, but the kids still seemed to have a blast. You don’t need more than other-people’s-toys to entertain a 5 year old.
*The party rental place we used will let you cancel if there are thunderstorms in the forecast, but this was just enough rain to make everything wet. Not even a downpour, just intermittent light rain all day. We had a rain date noted on the invitation for the following weekend in the event of storms, but the forecast the day of was questionable and we went for it. We did warn everyone with a group text/email in the morning that the moon bounce was still on, and to bring dry clothes for their kids to ride home in.
anon says
Does your office count holidays as part of your maternity leave calculation? Like if you are out for Easter, Memorial Fourth of July, etc. and you get 60 days off, do those days count? My office just changed the way they calculate it and it’s really throwing me off!
Anonanonanon says
Mine counted them, but we didn’t have “maternity leave” we had FMLA/STD, so I’m not sure if that factors. Anyway, I always felt bad for the people whose time off coincided with holidays.
anon says
yup. mine was through FMLA/STD and I was out over Memorial Day and July 4th and did not end up getting two extra days of leave, though i have many friends who would have at their workplaces
Anon says
No, the days that count are work days, so if there’s a holiday in there you get an extra day of leave.
Anon says
I guess I shouldn’t say you get an extra day of leave. I think it’s more common to have the same leave and use one less day of PTO. In my case, I took 6 weeks of sick leave, 6 weeks of paid parental leave and then I wanted to take 2 weeks of vacation leave to extend my leave to 14 weeks, but Memorial Day was in there, so I was able to use only 9 days of vacation leave + 1 day of holiday.
Anonymous says
Yes ours does. You would have gotten paid for those days if active, you get paid for them on leave, and they count.
anne-on says
My firm did at the time. I’d talk to a leave specialist if you have one since everyone seems to do it differently. I had to use my firm’s time off first, THEN firm holidays, THEN any FMLA leave, with PTO being used last (the justification given at the time was that you still accrued PTO while on firm-paid time off/FMLA/firmwide holidays, so they wanted you to use that last). The PTO I accrued added on another full week to my leave FWIW.
HSAL says
It’s so office-specific. We get four weeks of paid parental leave and holidays would not count against that. So if July 4 was in my four weeks, I’d get an “extra” day. After those four weeks it was 2 or 4 weeks of short-term disability, and you would not get any holidays that fell when you were covered by STD (nor would you get any PTO that you were supposed to accrue during that time). After the STD coverage ended, you run out the remaining 12 weeks of FMLA, and holidays there would depend on whether you were taking paid or unpaid leave. So if you used PTO during weeks 9 & 10, you were in “paid status” and would get any holiday that fell during those weeks. If you ran out of PTO and had to take weeks 11 and 12 without paid, you were in “unpaid status” and would not get any holidays during those weeks.
With my first, I was due right before we had a lot of holidays and I was supposed to be getting extra PTO, so I literally sat down with my HR person and made a chart, because a week or two early or late would have affected how much I would be getting.
HSAL says
Oh, and if it’s FMLA, the 12 weeks is independent of holidays, so it’s 12 weeks from the time you go out.
Pogo says
As the comments show, this is so variable. I would discuss with your payroll specialist, which may be a contract firm your company hires to handle the coding of this stuff. That’s the only way I figured out how mine worked.
To answer your question: in my case, it would have worked out that I would get the “extra” days paid IF I had it coded correctly (because those days are filled in pre-coded as PTO in our payroll system). But if the person coding my time didn’t pay attention to that, I think they could overwrite it with the STD or parental leave code and effectively I’d be paid by the wrong party. It was such a cluster, I probably didn’t get everything coded correctly in the end – what happened was I was coded as working full time and being paid by my department until after I came back from leave and realized the problem (!!). Technically managers working with HR are supposed to handle it, but no one knew what to do. The payroll specialist was the ONLY one who understood the issues.
FVNC says
+1 to talking to HR or payroll. My first leave was a combination of STD + paid leave + vacation, and my super awesome manager worked with me on a week-by-week schedule to determine the days characterized as STD versus paid leave versus vacation, in order to ensure I got “extra” paid leave during the T-giving and Christmas company holidays. I can’t remember the specifics as this was five years ago, but I remember it being complicated and being very grateful that she worked with me to maximize my paid leave time.
OP says
So ours is a new policy and my calendar has been revised on me three times! The HR manager clearly has no idea what he’s doing (and is in his late twenties and told me it’s really all about the mother’s health, which oookay). What I don’t like is that all three revisions have made it worse…
FVNC says
That’s frustrating, I’m sorry. Thinking about this more — my STD had to be taken the first 8 weeks of leave, as that was the disability/recovery period (c-section delivery). If any holidays had fallen during that time, they would not have been “tacked on” as additional paid leave. Once my STD ended, my manager had the flexibility to code my leave versus PTO to ensure I took PTO for weeks that included a holiday.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yeah, I think mine was all “coded” under STD and then parental leave (all fully paid at least) even though I had Thanksgiving, day after Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s in there. The PTO that I took after took into account holidays though (i.e. MLK was just paid, no separate PTO). To be honest, I didn’t even think about this when figuring out my leave, but I bet I could have discussed this further with HR.
Pogo says
I ended up having to pay money back to the company because they screwed up my leave. So ridiculous.
Anon says
We do not get extra days added for work holidays (as someone who was on leave over Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s). I forget what the reason was, but at the time I asked it made sense to me.
ElisaR says
anybody buy pants from Zara ever? How do the sizes run? I seem to recall Zara runs super small so I’m inclined to go a size up but not sure it’s the case.
AwayEmily says
I only tried stuff on there once and it was so, SO tiny (I went down two sizes and it still didn’t fit) that I gave up and never went back (perhaps a sign that my ego is too fragile…)
ElisaR says
helpful thanks…
anne-on says
It runs small and as I recall VERY long. Sizing is probably equivalent to European sizes – ie – go up 2 sizes at least from your usual US sizing. I’ve never been super impressed with the quality FWIW, struck me as sliiiiightly nicer than Express, about on par with Banana Republic and less nice than Ann Taylor suiting.
Anonymous says
Zara is one of the companies I absolutely refuse to shop because of their anti-semitism. Lots of articles online about that if you’re interested.
ElisaR says
eek I had no idea. thank you
Anonymous says
Very small, smaller than H&M before they redid their sizes. I wouldn’t do it if you were bigger than a US 6/8.
Anon says
This is a frivolous question, but my daughter recently turned 1 and several people gave us really beautiful dresses for her. But I don’t know where she’s going to wear them. We don’t anticipate attending any weddings in the next year and we aren’t religious, so no church, etc. We do family photos annually but usually in the fall and outdoors and I think she will need to wear something warmer/these dresses are very ‘springy’ and wouldn’t be seasonally appropriate anyway. I feel badly about these beautiful dresses going unworn though! How do you put your kids in stuff like this? Or do you just accept that it will look beautiful on the hanger but not be worn?
Redux says
I had the same issue. I would leave the tags on, take a picture of my kiddo in the dress and send the picture to the gifter. Then I’d donate or consign the dress. So many pretty Easter dresses for a baby who lives in a climate where its still basically winter during Easter time and also we don’t celebrate Easter.
AwayEmily says
I like this — especially the idea that it will end up with a family who “appreciates” nice dresses (since lord knows we do not).
anon says
This is what I was thinking–consign the fancy ones and donate the others (assuming you don’t like them).
Lana Del Raygun says
Fancy brunch party? At least if it’s washable.
TheElms says
My mom used to just let me wear the fancy dresses after their occasion had passed. So wear the dress to brunch, take some pictures to send to friend who gave you the dress, and then let kiddo wear the dress. It is ok if it gets ruined.
anon says
This makes sense if you have an older child who wants to wear the dress (and I totally do this too), but not so much for a 1 year old. I agree with picture + donate/consign.
rosie says
If you like them, just have her wear them when they’re seasonally-appropriate (assuming the size lines up right) whenever. That’s what I did at least. She didn’t get tons of wears out of them, but they were cute & I think made the gift-giver happy to see. Granted we didn’t have anything that was super high end or not machine-washable.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Wisehive – I mentioned having a high-school-aged family friend coming over for a few hours as a “mother’s helper” while DH is on travel this upcoming weekend. We’ve settled on Saturday evening, 5-8 PMish. She’s using this as a learning opportunity as well on how to take care of LOs. Going to pay for her (short) Uber home and she’s asking for $30, which seems a bit low. Saw the going rate on care.com is anywhere between $15-20/hour in the DC-Metro area where we reside, but I presume this is for folks with some experience. Any thoughts on compensation? TIA!
octagon says
That seems very reasonable for a mother’s helper. We pay $15-20/hr in NoVa for full babysitting without a parent present.
Anon says
$10/hour is normal for mother’s helpers in my area, but I’m in a LCOL area (childcare is fairly expensive here though and we pay our nanny $20/hour on the books).
Anonymous says
That’s fair to me.
Anonymous says
Fair. Sounds like this is very hands-on on your end since she’s never taken care of little kids before. Think of it like paid intern vs entry level salary.
anon says
That seems a touch low, and may be a good way for you to teach a girl that her time is valuable! Maybe pay her $30 this time and if she does a good job give her a “raise” to $12/hr next time? You could even tell her that at the end of this time if you want–“you did such a great job and were really helpful, I know you needed a bit of guidance this time but I think $12/hr is fair for the next time you come over, does that sound okay to you?”
Govtattymom says
Ann Taylor has 50% off everything today! I don’t shop at Ann Taylor much, does anyone have advice on what size to purchase? I am a 4 at some stores and a 6 at others. Thanks so much!
ElisaR says
i think AT runs slightly big. So you’re probably good with a 4.
daycare choice says
Which daycare would you choose? They are equidistant from home (walking distance) and the $2500/year infant price difference between them is insignificant to us. Tuition for both includes lunch plus snacks once kiddo is eating table food, and we don’t need to supply sheets for either. I feel a little silly making this decision purely on the half hour closing time difference, but that really may matter to us.
Daycare A:
-Very clean, well-organized. An ‘everything in its place’ vibe.
-Infant room was serene when we toured (though maybe that’s because it was 9:30 in the morning?)
-Includes diapers/wipes.
-Closes at 6:30 pm.
-Moves infants up to the next room around 12ish months.
Daycare B
-Clean but not quite as well-organized (e.g. the storage room for strollers/carriers was a crazy jumble, whereas the storage at daycare A was carefully arranged. Not quite as secure — you can get into kidspace through one door with keypad lock, whereas daycare B had a better “airlock” sort of setup. Not sure how much of this really matters in the long run.
-Infant room was loud and chaotic (maybe because it was naptime and kiddos were not into it, but still I found the playing of “soothing” music quite loud to be an odd choice)
-Wants us to supply diapers/wipes.
-Closes at 7 pm.
-Moves infants into “infants 2” around 9ish months (no reduction in ratio/price) and keeps them there until 16ish months.
-Has a weirdly bad rep online, though as far as I can tell that’s connected to a former director. I can see inspection reports and there’s nothing alarming.
Redux says
From the sound of it, you’ve got a clear favorite!
Anonymous says
Daycare A for sure. You’ll need to pick up by 6:30pm anyway to get baby home and to bed. Otherwise if you’re pumping you’ll have to add a 4th session at the end of the day around 5pm, and baby may fall asleep in the car seat on the way home, and not transfer to bed easily.
Anon says
Having to supply diapers/wipes and the fact that Daycare B was slightly less organized wouldn’t bother me. But the loud music, security concerns and online reviews would. Especially as someone whose kid has never slept with white noise, I can’t imagine her being able to sleep with loud music, that would pretty much be a dealbreaker. I can understand choosing the one with a later pickup time with all else being equal, but I really don’t think all else is equal here.
Anon says
Not the OP but literally every single daycare around me has at least 2 terrible online reviews. I feel no matter how great you are, there are still going to be some haters.
Anon says
She said “it has a weirdly bad rep online” – I assumed she meant relative to other places, and I would be concerned about a daycare that had significantly lower online ratings than others in the same area. I didn’t say she should be concerned about one or two bad reviews.
Anonymous says
Hard to say based on these descriptions. Which one seemed like they’d do a better job taking care of the kid? Have you been able to talk to other parents at either? If I were you, I’d try to get to the bottom of why the one seems to have a bad reputation.
AwayEmily says
Go with whatever one seems to be more committed to maximizing sleep. Some specific questions to ask:
– is there any separation possible for the napping kids (ie a darker/quieter space)
– do they use white noise machines
– what do they do when kids don’t nap
– when do the babies usually drop their first nap — it’s a bit of a red flag if they say most of their babies drop their first nap at a year since most (not all! your baby might be different and that’s ok!) babies should be taking 2 naps til around 15 months.
The switchover at 9 months speaks well for the second one in terms of napping. Our first was in a room that included ages 4 -12mo and ended up napping a lot less because they naturally pushed the younger babies to conform to the older ones’ schedules. Our second was in a daycare that divided up babies like yours did and napped better because it was set up to accommodate the varying nap schedules of younger babies.
We did basically no research regarding naps/sleeping when we did our daycare search and it was my biggest regret (caveat: I am pretty compulsive about sleep). We ended up switching my first at 8 months largely because she was sleeping so terribly at daycare, and she was so much happier after we switched to a place with better sleep hygiene.
Anonn says
Sounds like you like Daycare B for the closing time, but Daycare A for everything else. What’s your commute like? Do you think you’ll be regularly cutting it close to be at Daycare A by 6:30? Is Daycare A the more expensive one? (I assume yes because they supply diapers and wipes.) I think having the two infant rooms is a lot easier on kiddos than moving a 12 month old to toddlers, but I’ve had kids do both and either way is fine. Soothing music playing loudly is common because they have to put the kids down for naps serially and you don’t want one fussy baby to wake 3 you just put down. Can you go back to each place one more time? Go to Daycare B at 9:30 am and go to Daycare A around end of lunch beginning of napt ime, then compare apples-to-apples. Only other thing that might help you with a tie-breaker that you haven’t mentioned is sleeping arrangements. Are the cribs in a separate / darker sleeping area? Or are they just on the side of one big room? I’d go for the separate/darker area every time if possible.
op says
Thanks, all. The points about sleep are good ones. Should have mentioned — kiddo may not actually start at daycare until 8-9 months. This makes me hesitate over daycare A since it seems like it might be rough to start kiddo and then switch to a new room 3-4 months later. But yeah, I otherwise like daycare A.
My partner will be doing 90% of pickup, so I think ultimately this is going to have to come down to her comfort with making 6:30 or not. But the point about getting kiddo fed and to bed is also a good one. Of course we won’t know if we have a magical late-to-bed-late-to-rise baby until it’s too late, as that would be ideal. We’re still pondering it.
Anon says
Did you ask for more details about how they move up at Daycare A? At our daycare, 12 months is the earliest they can possibly move up, but most kids are moved more like 14-16 months, because the kid has to be walking well and there has to be an opening in the toddler room. If they follow a similar rule, you would probably have ~6 months between starting and moving, which would give your LO plenty of time to settle in at the infant room before you have to start readying for the transition.
Anonymous says
This. Moving when they are walking is a common thing.
CCLA says
If you are comfortable both will take good care of your kiddo, I’d give your partner a lot of say in this if that 30 minutes is going to make a material difference for her doing the pickup. 30 minutes makes a huge difference to me if it’s 5:30 vs 6, but 6:30 vs 7 wouldn’t matter to me because by then we’re putting the kids down for bed. But that’s not everyone’s schedule! But of course I
The fact that daycare B had a naptime in the infant room would give me pause (though less so since your kiddo will be older when starting). Every infant room I’ve toured does individual schedules for the kids until they move to the next room, so there is no “nap time” since all the infants are on their own routines.
Anonymous says
As a counter point, our daycare had a ‘naptime’ in the infant room, because infants was 6 weeks to 18 months and the 12+ month kids were starting to transition to one nap. The little babies obviously had naps outside that schedule, but there was a 2-hour ‘naptime’ period every day.
This isn’t really relevant for the OP, since Daycare B moves kids up at 9 months, but just putting it out there for other first-time parents that a naptime in an infant room isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker, though I agree it may be something to learn more about.
Anonymous says
In terms of security, our daycare has one room from the outside into the infant room and it never occurred to me to be worried about this. There is an ‘airlock’ of sorts in the 18m+ room, which turns out to be useful because the toddlers/preschoolers are much more mobile and more likely to wander through doors that aren’t entirely latched by an entering parent.
EB0220 says
I don’t see a downside to A. I will say, having gone to at least 5 daycares at this point, I highly prize a serene environment. And any daycare that provides stuff is also a winner in my book.
Anon says
My kids’ daycare closes at 5:30. It hasn’t been easy or great for our careers, but my kids wouldn’t be happy getting picked up any later unless the daycare fed them dinner.
Lily says
Hello ladies. Do you have a recommendation for shoes for a 14 month old who is on the cusp of walking? I have a nice pair (can’t recall the brand that his grandparents bought for him). I would like him to have another pair that he can wear at daycare. With the weather becoming nice, they will be spending more time outdoors, so the indoor robeez (hand me down) doesn’t seem sufficient. Thank you in advance!
Cb says
I used the Robeez knockoffs and they are fine for outdoors in these early walking stages. At that age, my son was definitely more steady in a lighter shoe. We only switched to Jack and Lily (Lily and Jack, something like this) shoes when it got cold.
HSAL says
I wouldn’t rule out Robeez. Ours held up fine to the limited outdoor walking my kid did when going outside at daycare. Unless he’s going to be walking on sharp gravel or something, Robeez should be just fine.
anon says
FWIW, my daycare wouldn’t allow kids to wear Robeez outdoors.
ElisaR says
same
Anonymous says
Team Nike here.
Anonymous says
Stride Rite! I asked about this a few months ago when I was going through the same thing and that was the wide consensus. I took my kiddo to a local kids shoe store and they measured her and recommended SR because she has narrow feet. See Kai Run was also recommended on here but the store said they’re better for wider feet. So I recommend taking your kid into a store if you can.
Anonymous says
Yep, we took our almost-walking 15-month-olds to a specialized kids shoe store and the Stride Rites with the flexible bottoms was what they recommended. I also found it really comforting to know that their first pair of shoes was definitely the correct size. (Now, we just put them in whatever seems to fit, which is either super lazy, super frugal, or some combination…)
ElisaR says
See Kai Run has been a great brand for 1st pair of shoes for both of my boys.
Anon says
Same. They run big (my daughter wears a 3 in them whereas she wears a 4 usually). You can also usually find them at Nordstrom Rack for half price.
lucy stone says
Same. Fit my kid great and she’s been wearing the same pairs for ~6 months now with minimal signs of wear.
Anonymous says
Love pediped! Used for my older son and younger son (also 14 mos) just got some too.
Anon says
My kiddo’s first walker shoes were pediped’s, and then we switched to a japanese brand that we love (Tjokushiru maybe).
AMama says
I love the brand Jack & Lily- they have soles with grip but are still flexible enough to allow their feet and leg muscles to develop appropriately. They’re on Zulily fairly often too for a better price.
EB0220 says
We really liked See Kai Run shoes at that age. They don’t hold up amazingly well but they are super flexible which we liked.
anon says
Freshly Picked — they look like they’re not meant to be used outside but I have watched even older kids (2 1/2+) use them HARD on playgrounds and they do really well. They are a bit expensive, though.
anon says
Plae brand shoes — worth it for preschoolers, or not? I’m trying to find a good everyday shoe for daycare that works with dresses and leggings. I’m intrigued by the rubber sole and toe, but if they’re going to fall apart as quickly as other preschool shoes, I’ll take a pass on the $55 price tag.
Anonymous says
Yes. My kids wore those and only those forva full year. After 2 years of plaes my 5 y/o begged for sketchers light ups which started to look grubby after a couple months in light rotation.
Depends what your alternatives are, too. If its a $15, then yes.
Not worth it: glitter pumas
EB0220 says
Yes, they do hold up really well. We had a pair of Plae sandals and it was the only pair of shoes that was worn by both of my kids.
Fallen says
I posted last week about interviewing nannies. We did our interviews and now are wondering whether to hire one of the candidates or keep looking. Would love your thoughts.
– Positives are great attitude, super reliable, very nurturing and attentive (multiple references said kid preferred her to mom, neighbors and other nannies noticed how attentive she was and told moms), will listen to what you ask her, hard worker so doesn’t freak out if you are running late, 20+ years of nanny work history with overall good references from the last 10 years, will take kid to lots of activities / library, neat and has no problem helping with light housekeeping (all laundry, dishwasher, sweeping kitchen, etc)
– Negatives are that she isn’t the best at playing with children in the way an au pair / college kid would (which I don’t think is an issues for my one year old but will be for my 6 year old), sometimes her common sense seems lacking (examples from references were mostly no big deal to me except for one instance where she got locked out of the car and asked another nanny to drive her back in her car with baby in lap but it never happened, the other nanny said no and told mom), left one of the 6 references I called for better pay with only 2 weeks notice, very social with other nannies (which is both a pro and a con), she can only start one month later than when we need her so we would need to fill the gap
Does anyone have any thoughts? I never had a long-term nanny so I don’t know how this compares to other nannies out there. I interviews 30+ Nannies over the phone so I am wondering if this is the best we can do or if I should keep looking.
Anon says
The big red flag to me here is that “common sense seems lacking” and especially the example about asking someone to drive her with a baby on her lap. That’s crazy and would be a dealbreaker for me.
Anonymous says
I would be okay with her only if she will not be driving baby anywhere. If you want her to drive baby to activities/classes/playground as she gets older, I would keep looking.
OP says
That’s fair enough. I think we are 95% likely going to move into a very walkable area (walking distance from school, kids activities), so there will be minimal driving. A lot of the families said she is a good driver, but this example was crazy to me and it’s the biggest thing that is keeping me hesitating about hiring her, She supposedly denied it and it didn’t actually happen (she just mentioned it to the other nanny) – the mom kept her after that.
I will say this example I posted was the only big red flag common sense thing. The others were things like waking up baby from nap to go to play date, which I would do too
Strategy Mom says
Is it possible she was brainstorming solutions out loud with the other nanny and this was one of the options she discussed and the other nanny shot it down right away? Like she was toying with the idea but hadn’t committed to it?
If you can only find one example of bad judgement, she checks so many other boxes that are so hard to find in one person.
OP says
That’s how I feel. This example also came from the mom who she left for a better paying offer and left hanging, and the mom also had a lot of positive things to say. All other 5 references had great things to say. One of the families has security cameras and didn’t see anything concerning ever, which is nice to hear.
I also did 30 interviews and talked to so many just meh candidates I honestly don’t know if I could find a better one if I didn’t go with her.
SC says
Honestly, I’d hire this nanny. She has 20 years of experience. You checked 6 references going back 10 years, and only one person had anything negative to say. The one negative is that she may or may not have suggested a stupid idea during a stressful situation, the thing she suggested didn’t actually happen, and she wasn’t ultimately fired for it, so it wasn’t seen as that big of a deal at the time.
You also say that she doesn’t play the way a college kid or au pair might. Honestly, if she’s going to be taking care of a 1 year old and a 6 year old, she’ll have her hands full with child-caring responsibilities. Also, for the 6 year old, it would be more important to me that she’s social with other nannies and will take the kids places and arrange play dates, so the 6 year old has more interactions with other 6 year olds, instead of just with his nanny or playing by himself while nanny attends to a 1 year old.
anon says
I echo all of what SC says at 3:27 pm.
If she does have occasion to drive your kids, I’d make sure to run through the rules and troubleshoot with her ahead of time–if only to put your mind at ease. Try to do it as a part of a rundown of what your family’s safety rules are so she doesn’t feel too targeted. I agree that the situation you’ve heard about could have been something like brainstorming.
I’d also make a point to pay her at or slightly above market (because of her experience) and to provide all of the market benefits (amount of PTO, etc.). If she is social with other nannies she (1) knows what they make and (2) WILL have other offers while she’s working for you (because networking is how many families find new nannies). Most of us here would leave for a better paying job (all else equal and assuming we didn’t just start something new) and should expect a career nanny to do the same.
Sounds like you found someone great in a large haystack–good work! :)
Strategy Mom says
She sounds great to me! The car seat story is bad, but if that was truly an isolated incident (and they werent driving on highway), i’d be ok with it… I might do the same if I was at a nearby park and had that happen – I wouldn’t be happy about it.