I’ve adopted Universal Standard’s comfy, well-cut T-shirts, joggers, and jeans as a mainstay of my work-from-home uniform. I’ve always thought some of their stretchy pieces would make fabulous maternity wear, and apparently, they thought so too!
Now, Universal Standard has curated all of their pregnancy-friendly clothes under one, user-friendly tab. What’s even better is that all of it qualifies for their Fit Liberty program — within a year, if your size changes (which it will if you’re pregnant), Universal Standard will send you a new size for free!
There are so many pieces to choose from, but I particularly like this dress. I love its “dress up, dress down” versatility, practical pockets, and flattering V-neck that’s just screaming for a pendant necklace. Although I love wool, I know many do not, and this dress is made from a deliciously soft non-wool alternative blend.
The dress is available in merlot (perfect for the holidays) and black, sizes 4XS to 4XL. It’s currently on sale for $165 (marked down from $185). Rita Ribbed Sweater Dress
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Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
- Zappos – 28,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off kids’ camp styles; extra 50% off select sale
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off summer pajamas; up to 50% off all baby styles (semi-annual baby event!)
- Carter’s – Summer deals from $5; up to 60% off swim
- Old Navy – 30% off your order; kid/toddler/baby tees $4
- Target – Kids’ swim from $8; summer accessories from $10
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
buffybot says
This is an extremely random comment but I was catching up on one of the older threads from last week and saw someone asking for toddler TV recommendations. May I make an enthusiastic recommendation for Bluey?
It’s on Amazon Prime and Disney Plus – an animated show about a family of dogs in Australia. The episodes are short and funny and the animation is beautiful. It’s currently the only show that my husband and I don’t mind watching with our son (almost 3) and he also thinks it’s HILARIOUS. I appreciate the Mom-Dad dynamic – it avoids the Peppa Pig style “Dad is a loveable idiot” trope and doesn’t make Mom a killjoy. It also serves as a great example for the imaginative games you can play with your kids. The only hilarious downside is that in a recent game of Doctor, inspired by Bluey, my son just diagnosed my husband with “bum worms”….
Cb says
People rave about Bluey but we only have Netflix so haven’t watched it yet. Things I can tolerate include Cory Carson and Tittipo, and all the Julia Donaldson specials. We also watched the Trash Truck show, which is really cute.
ElisaR says
coincidentally we just discovered Bluey this weekend! my 4.5 yr old and 3 yr old love it.
Anon says
that was me- thanks for the rec!
Anon says
We love Bluey, mostly because it’s great but also because it is set in the city I live in! It’s really fun to figure out where they are around town, and a pretty accurate portrayal of life with a young family here.
Anon says
My cousin asked me over the weekend if I had any book recs for a fourth grade girl. Any ideas? Classics or outside the box? My oldest is in kinder but we just finished reading Anne of Green Gables – together- so that’s what made her ask me if that helps!
Walnut says
Might be a good age for Madeline L’Engle?
Anonanonanon says
I remember liking the witch of blackbird pond at that age. I’d recommend they go through the list of Newbery winners and pick what looks interesting.
Cb says
I think Modern Mrs Darcy has kids in that age range, she might have some good recs.
Anonymous says
Chronicles of Narnia
Harry Potter series
Judy Blume (Just as long as we’re together, Fudge, Tales of a 4th grade nothing etc)
Thea Stilton series for quick reads
Also, science books about animals are super popular with my 4th grader at the moment. I feel like I default to novels for girls and ‘real life’ books for boys so trying to be more active about gifting sciency/nature books for girls too. National Geographic has some good stuff for a wide range of interests.
Anon says
I think I really liked Number the Stars at that age and American Girl books, although I think they may be for younger kids now. Meg Cabot has some great fun books but get the ones aimed at middle grade readers like the Middle School princess series.
Anon says
I’ve been reading the American Girl books with my daughter and they are a great way to introduce kids to history. We’ve been combining them with books from the Who is/What is series, the I Survived series and the My America series to build out the various time periods.
Anon says
My kids are still at the picture books/read-aloud chapter book stage, but I’ve been really impressed with the booklists on this website and it includes some for older kids: https://www.whatdowedoallday.com/books-for-kids/
Anon says
My 2nd grader is into a wide mix of books.
Girl protagonists like:
Mia Mayhem, Keena Ford, Heidi Hecklebeck, Isadora Moon
Science books like:
Nat Geo Weird But True, Professor Astro Cat, Honest History zines, Ask Magazine
Graphic Novels:
The Babysitters Club, Smile, Click, Anne of Green Gables, Real Friends, Princess Princess Ever After
Anon says
My daughter loved the book The Silver Arrow. It was newly published this fall.
Also:
The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
Where the Red Fern Grows
Tuck Everlasting
The Little Princess
The Secret Garden
Hatchet
Island of the Blue Dolphins
A Series of Unfortunate Events
White Fang
The Borrowers
Redwall (this may be more like 6th grade)
Anon says
She also like The Land of Stories.
Voracious says
I loved immigration and historical fiction books at that age: Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson. Land of Hope series (Joan Lowery Nixon). All of a Kind Family series. Nothing to Fear. Sarah Plain and Tall. Caddie Woodlawn (I think there was maybe something racist in this, Native American-related? I recall having a class discussion when we read it in maybe fifth grade). Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes.
That was also the age that I started reading the old Gordon Korman books (mainly Bruno and Boots series, and I Want to Go Home), which are hysterical. Same with the Great Brain series, and Soup series. Also Sideways Stories from Wayside School.
I started reading the Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. And Jelly Belly and sequels, by Robert Kimmel Smith — although as I recall they relate to weight loss and getting hot for middle school, so maybe not the best to recommend).
This is sending me down a rabbit hole — my A-zon cart is filling up with books for my daughter to read in just…8 more years.
Voracious says
Also the Anastasia Krupnik series! And the books about her little brother Sam.
Ann Rinaldi – historical fiction (with chaste romance).
A Girl Called Boy; Letters From a Slave Girl (historical fiction – slavery in the US).
Anonymous says
I *loved* the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson as a kid (but I don’t remember at what age).
Anonymous says
The Chronicles of Narnia
The Egypt Game
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
The Thing About Jellyfish
Out of My Mind
A Wrinkle in Time
Harry Potter
The One and Only Ivan (lower reading level but the content is sophisticated enough for this age group)
Harriet the Spy
The Anastasia books
His Dark Materials
Lemony Snicket
The Inquisitor’s Tale
Anonymous says
All of these! Such nostalgia from my childhood!
Anonymous says
The Wayside school books are fun. Other popular series include Spy School series, the 39 Clues series, Artemis Fowl series, and Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Spirograph says
A lot of my favorites I remember from that age have already been mentioned. Some that I didn’t see at a skim
– any Gary Paulsen (including Hatchet, but I remember also liking Woodsong and Dogsong among others)
– The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle and Nothing But The Truth, both by Avi
– My Side of the Mountain series by Jean Craighead George
– Philip Pullman (His Dark Materials is great, and he wrote a lot of other YA fiction, too)
– The Underland Chronicles series by Suzanne Collins. I obviously read this as an adult, but it was fun and appropriate for 4th grade. It does have some parallels to H1tler and the H0locaust, but it’s a talking animals fantasy adventure
+ a million to Gordon Korman. I must have read I Want To Go Home about 100 times as a kid, and it still cracks me up.
Anonymous says
There’s a Book Madness take on March Madness that my mom does with her 4th grade class each year, it might be worth checking out some of those titles. The 2021 middle grade book list is here:
https://marchbookmadness.weebly.com/mg-novel-bracket.html
and here’s the hall of fame:
https://marchbookmadness.weebly.com/hall-of-fame.html
Which reminded me: Percy Jackson should definitely be on any 4th grader’s list!
Anonymous says
I’m in moderation for links, but look up weebly’s Book Madness and check out the middle grades reading list and hall of fame. This is one of my go-tos to find newer YA, and there have been some gems! I really liked the Scythe series by Neal Shusterman. It’s probably more of 6th grade and up, though.
bunkbed recs? says
Does anyone have a rec for a bunkbed? What features did/do you find helpful, particularly in the long run? And did you assemble it yourselves? We are looking to get bunkbeds for our 8 year old ad 4 year old who share a room (currently the latter is still in his toddler bed, but we want a more efficient floor layout). I think we would like to get a twin over full so that we can also use their room for guests if we need to. Do they make a twin over full where the full is perpendicular to the twin? I don’t think I’m using the right google search terms to explore this option. Thanks for the input!
Anon says
I think that style can sometimes be sold separately, with a lofted twin and a regular full/queen bed.
anon says
We did this in a family vacation house, to maximize sleeping arrangements. The “top bunk” is a wooden loft bed and the “bottom bunk” is just a bog-standard full-sized bed with a metal frame. I assembled both that loft and the wooden bunk bed my kids have at home and it was super easy.
Anonymous says
Wayfair has lots of good options for this combo. I would do a wood frame with drawers underneath so it feels substantial. You can get beds where the full is perpendicular to the twin but I don’t like that option for adults.
Anon says
We have a bunk bed from Wayfair that has worked. Ours is just twin over twin though. We did put it together and it was A Project, but got done. I have to ask, if the idea is for more efficient space usage, having the full perpendicular to the twin doesn’t seem like the best option space-wise, no?
OP says
Hmmm… good point. I think in my mind, if I could have the beds on one part of the room, then there would be more open space on the other side of the room. I should definitely measure and tape out the layout just to be sure.
Anon says
But if they are one over the other (not perpendicular) they are still on the one part of the room? Just even more so? I know if you do perpendicular you get that partial space under the top bunk next to the full at least, but that will be a very limiting space to use for anything due to the pole etc.
Anonymous says
Try searching “L shaped bunk bed.”
Anon says
Search for “twin over full perpendicular” and that should give you the results.
My biggest recommendation is to think about how long you plan to use it. Will they share a room into their teenage years? Is this only for a few more years? How many guests do you expect during that time? That will have a big impact on what kind of features to add.
For us – ours are 7 and 4 and just got bunk beds this summer. We only plan to do this until the oldest is around 10-11, then we’ll hopefully either move or get super creative so they can split up into separate rooms. But they’ll still want and need privacy before then. We got a twin over twin and then pushed a tall bookshelf against the non-wall end to create a solid “headboard” storage area that blocks the view from that side. Then we added privacy curtains for both bunks (with LED strip lighting) so they each have their own space to retreat to.
Katala says
Do kids who share a room normally have privacy in-room? My brothers shared a very small room growing up and from what I observed didn’t have privacy from each other when they were both in the bedroom. Not that the 7-years-older brother was happy about that at all during his teen years!
Anon says
I don’t know, but our kids are different genders, and if they are asking for privacy we’ll do what we can to reasonably accommodate. It’s not sound proof but it’s at least a place of their own.
Katala says
Makes sense that it’s more important for different genders. Our boys had the opportunity for separate rooms in our new house but chose to stay together. They’re 4 and 5 so I’m sure their preferences will change. Although now their baby sister will get that bedroom!
OP says
This is all great food for thought, thank you! buying separate loft/full bed might be a good solution too! Also the curtains.
We also have a 1 year old (girl) who is in her own room for sleep reasons. I think the plan is bunk beds for the 8 year old (girl) and 4 year old (boy) for another two- three years, then the 8 year old swaps with the 1 year old to get her own room. Right now the baby’s room is also husband’s WFH space. Hopefully Husband will be back in the office by the time we are ready to to move the eight year old into her own room!
Selfishly in my ideal world, all three kids would share a room forever, but I feel like that’s not really the thing to do these days. (Whereas I know a lot of people who grew up pre 1990s who shared rooms with siblings up until they left for college, I feel like there’s been a mental shift about this.)
Anon says
I have nothing against room sharing and my kids currently share. Personally i think most people would not want kids of opposite sexes sharing a room for eternity if at all avoidable
Anon says
Back in the day I think it was normal to have a “boys room” and a “girls room” and all same-gendered children did share forever. I’m thinking of room sharing my kids for the long-term, too; yes, there’s more opportunity for aggravation, but also more chance for growth, cooperation, and making memories. I’m also hoping the kids hang out in the main part of the house most of the time, anyway, so it’s not like they are always confined together (no screens allowed in rooms!)
SC says
We bought a twin over full, and I really like it. Kiddo usually sleeps in the twin, but we read books before bedtime in the full, and it’s way more comfortable than a twin would be. Sometimes, DH, Kiddo, and I all snuggle up and read together in the full. Ours has the full perpendicular to the twin, so they definitely made them at one point. Ours has a little desk on one end. I doubt Kiddo will ever do his homework on it or anything, but it’s a nice landing spot and provides some extra drawer space.
Ours is originally from Rooms To Go. We bought it off Facebook Marketplace for about $300, plus the cost of a rental truck. It came with the largest pieces assembled. The exact bed we bought isn’t available anymore, but the quality is good, and the bed seems sturdy. It’s held up well to lots of climbing so far. (Kids never use the actual ladder.)
Anonymous says
As an introvert who had to share a room all through college, I’d argue against a bunk bed. I’d give each their own defined, separate space on one side of the room, even if that means twin beds or two twin lofts. Lofts are actually nice for shared rooms because they create a little private nook underneath.
I would get an air bed to set up in the living room for overnight guests. As a guest, I always feel terribly awkward displacing a member of the family, even a kid.
CHL says
We have a Mydal bunkbed from Ikea and it has been great. Ours are 8 and 6. The younger one actually sleeps on the top because we’re weird.
Anonymous says
Any introverts have experience with au pairs? I think we’ll need one when we have a third baby, but the idea of someone living in my house isn’t thrilling to me. Am I right to assume that the au pair would be just as interested in having her own life as I would be in her having one? I’m ok with daytime presence, but I hope we’re not all plopping on the couch together w a bowl of popcorn to watch TV every night. (We would have a basement bedroom with a tv area and bathroom of her own.). Is this just a terrible idea for someone like me? Not sure we could afford an alternative.
Anon says
I know myself well enough to know it wouldn’t work for me but I’m pretty far to the extreme end of the introvert spectrum. Even a nanny in my house was too much for me, even though she didn’t live with us and I was mostly at work while she was there.
Not for me says
I’ve never had one, but it wouldn’t work for me unless it was 100% the right person — and I don’t think there’s any way to ensure that with an au pair. We had part-time in home help this summer while I was WFH and even though we had completely different space, it was exhausting for me to have someone in my house.
anon says
We had an au pair for a few years (until the current Trump ban). You can interview for an au pair who is looking to be independent and who would like to go to the gym and visit friends in the evening. Some au pairs are homebodies–that wouldn’t be a good fit for you.
You should, however, plan to include your au pair in regular family activities as part of the cultural exchange aspect of the program. We never sat with our au pair in the evening, as those are times that we clean up, pay bills, and respond to work emails. But we did plan a Super Bowl party and invite all her friends, plan trips to local places to show her US sites, included her in our vacation plans, planned a way for her to see 4th of July fireworks, etc. During other times, we’ve always had independent au pairs who are off enjoying opportunities to explore the US. (Obviously this is all harder now with the pandemic.)
anon says
No personal experience, but people here have posted before about screening for an au pair who wants her own free time vs expecting to be part of the family, partly based on what culture they grew up in. This is way generalizing, so apply all the relevant caveats, but I believe generally looking for an au pair for Europe would be more what you want, rather than one from South America.
anon says
The other thing to note is that au pairs generally will be around more at the beginning of their year, when they haven’t yet made friends. At the end of their year, in many instances, you’ll barely see them.
Anon says
Can they make friends in a Covid year? And do you want them to? An au pair regularly socializing with other young people seems riskier than daycare to me, and she’s not going to move to the US and immediately form a relatively safe bubble of a few close friends because it takes lots of casual socializing to develop close friendships.
anon says
We have friends who are still hosting and their au pair has joined the same bubbles as her host family. For instance, we had an au pair over the summer and bubbled with the family. They have with kids the same age as ours. The au pairs were good friends and would socialize together, too. It was a good fit for all. Now that our au pair has gone home, their au pair will socialize with friends outside and while wearing a mask.
Other families are more lax and have agreed to have their au pair socialize with a few friends. Not perfect, but all childcare is a compromise these days.
Allie says
Tbh my husband and I biker too much to have an au pair. It just seems really uncomfortable for all. Obvi it would be great to biker less, but after 20+ years together it just a bit of the vibe.
Anonanonanon says
I’m not an introvert but I couldn’t do this unless au pair had their own kitchen, as well. In other words, unless they had a full living space that I could count on them staying in without feeling imprisoned. Even just having someone come up from the basement to get something from the kitchen while my husband and I are on the couch is too much for me. Or what if she loves to cook and is constantly using the kitchen when I just want to be alone on that floor in the living room? etc. For me, it’s a no-go unless we have a housing situation where she has her own suite/studio
anon says
This really isn’t in the spirit of the program. The au pair should be a member of your family with access to your living area during off work hours. This is a better setup for a live in nanny, not an au pair.
Anon says
+1 I’ve never had one, but my understanding is you are supposed to be feeding them. Maybe they turn it down or figure their own thing out, but I think the standing offer has to at least be there in earnest.
Anonymous says
Yeah I don’t think this is how you’re supposed to treat an au pair. It’s more like having an exchange student come live with you than an employee.
Anon says
I can’t share this in real life and I’m half excited; half terrified. After a lot of soul searching, DH and I have decided to start trying for kid two. (My two closest friends who I would ordinarily tell are both doing IVF and have both had recent miscarriages – so sharing seems not right at this moment.) Its just so nice to have something to potentially be excited about and look forward to. I’m on the older end and I had a high risk pregnancy with number one, so it might never happen, but just the prospect is so exciting. Potentially looking after two kids is almost more terrifying than looking after one. The further I travel into motherhood, the more I realize how many hidden rockstars are out there, and feel a bit foolish for not recognizing it before.
Anon says
That’s exciting! I’m currently pregnant and it has been nice to have something to look forward to and be happy about in this terrible year. I have loved being a mom to two much more than to one (and hopefully I will also love having three, ha). I feel like I really settled in to motherhood with the second baby and was able to enjoy it more with my more “seasoned” perspective. Good luck!
Anonymous says
The above question made me think to ask this. Has anyone had kids with very different ages share a room, or grew up like this? How did it go?
We currently have a 5 year old, and are contemplating a second, so they would be 6+ years apart. We definitely could not afford to move to a bigger place while we have major childcare expenses, which would be at least 4 years. So we are looking at a 10 year old and a 4 year old sharing a room, but it might be more like 11 or 12 and 4. We could switch rooms so that they have the bigger bedroom, but the layout would not allow it to be split very well. We have a large common living area, so I was thinking baby/toddler’s play area could be in the living room, with bedroom just for sleeping and older child’s stuff. Unfortunately, there’s no way to carve out another bedroom from the living area. Is this a really terrible idea and would it traumatize my older one? Spouse and I were both only children so we are having a hard time figuring out the dynamics of all of this.
GCA says
Kids are pretty flexible. I shared a room and a closet with my sister till we were 10 and 6, and I don’t remember any major issues. I do remember doing all my homework at the kitchen table and claiming the best corner of the living room couch for reading!
All good says
I think it’s fine. If you’re worried, see if you can carve out a small space within the bedroom for the older child to have as “hers.” Sharing a room isn’t going to traumatize your kid.
anon says
My spouse and sibling shared a room until older sister was 13 and pitched a fit about sharing with her 6-year-old brother. Until that point it worked reasonably well, though.
Anon says
I think it’s less of a big deal with same sex kids than opposite but probably doable until the oldest hits puberty and probably easier if your older one is a boy. Yes this is me stereotyping but many girls tend to start hitting puberty earlier these days and want privacy. That being said I ran into someone recently who is pregnant with their 3rd and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment and can afford more space but doesn’t feel like moving
Anonymous says
FYI, this point may come earlier than you think. A lot of my daughter’s classmates started to hit puberty around fourth grade, which surprised me. Many of them started trying to act like teenagers even earlier, in third grade.
Katala says
I mentioned above that my brothers are 7 years apart and they shared a room until the older went to college. There just wasn’t any other space available. I had my own, even smaller room. The older certainly had issues with it as a teen, and they fought sometimes. But it was what it was and with no other options, they dealt with it fine. The whole house was quite a mess with one parent having hoarding tendencies, so I imagine it would be even better if the common areas were welcoming and comfortable for the kids to hang out in.
Anonymous says
My sister and I are 10 years apart and shared a room until I was 5/she was 15. The impression I got was that she did not love it. But, you do what you have to do and it’s not going to ruin their lives. Families live in much smaller quarters around the world. It’s fine.
Bunk bed OP says
I’m the OP bunk beds above. Our older kids are five years apart and have shared a room since the younger one was about a year old. Sharing a room before the younger one sleeps through the night would be tough, I imagine. When we moved into our new house we gave the eight year old the option of sharing a room and having a play room or having her own room altogether. She chose playroom/sharing a room. Their room is set up so it is just for sleeping and changing clothes- they know that playing or toys are for the playroom or living room; the eight year old does her distance learning in the living room, where she has a little corner of her own. She is starting to ask for her own room, but I hope we can make it another two or three years. I think for me, I feel that learning to share space with someone else is important so I definitely fall in the “not a terrible idea” camp. I will also say we kind of lucked out because our oldest loves bring a mother hen, so she will help her little brother if he wakes up in the middle of the night, or if he wakes up in the morning and we aren’t up, she will help him get dressed and get him something to eat…I kind of don’t love that female caregiver mentality, but it’s definitely makes certain parts of roomsharing easier.
Anon says
Help! We’re on Day 2 of the Oh Cr*p potty training method but my kid is completely terrified of the potty. She’s used it before but something about it being Official Potty Training Time means she bursts into tears every time we suggest it. We’ve tried rewards and the Daniel Tiger potty episode, but nothing is helping. She’s been sobbing non-stop for about 3 hours now at the suggestion she sit on the potty. She’s not having accidents though – she’s stayed completely dry while naked and is just using her diapers at nap and nighttime, which is not terribly surprising because her daytime diapers have been reliably dry for a while now. What do we do? Do we try eliminating the nap diaper? I feel like it’s illogical to take away her nap diaper before she’s reliably peeing in the potty, but I don’t know what else to do.
Anon says
When this was us (and it was all of us crying, not just kiddo) we backed off and did no pressure (offer but not require) and then tried again a few months later where it was a breeze.
Anon says
How old is your kid? I’d probably also stop for a few months and try again at another time
anon says
You can let her watch you use the potty. Try taking turns. (Bizarre, but fairly effective in my experience.)
A kiddie potty may be less scary.
ElisaR says
+1 to the kiddie potty
Anonymous says
Okay, I did not follow this method so may be the wrong person to ask, but why would you not stop and take a break and try again in a month or 2?! She’s been crying for 3 hours. It isn’t working, and you are likely to get into a situation where she is avoiding going so she gets constipated, pees more at night, etc. – not worth the trouble! You can’t force this, she has to want to do it.
OP says
She’s the kind of kid who is always scared in the beginning even when she’s fully on board with something though. Theoretically she loves the idea of it, and biologically everyone agrees she is ready. Two days ago she was talking all day about how excited she was to be a big girl and wear underwear. I don’t think waiting until she has zero fear of the potty is attainable if we want her trained before elementary school.
Anonymous says
Stop doing it! Try another time!
Anonymous says
Stop. She isn’t ready. Trying to force it will give her issues with pottying. Let her come in when you are going and offer her a turn after you are done. Tell her every time you go. Leave lots of potty books around for her to look at. She might not like being naked. One of my three super hated being naked for any amount of time, he ran cold and he just liked cozy clothes.
How old is she? I trained mine all 3 of mine close to age 3 and it was done in a couple days – both day and night with zero diapers. I don’t get the point of training earlier as it seems to involve a lot more work and still having to do nap and night diapers and then a second time of night training.
Anon says
Night is developmental and it is a separate process than day training. You got lucky! My boys both day trained at 2.5; the first used night diapers until almost 5, the second trained both night and day at the same time.
OP says
She is 3, which is why we’re trying to be more aggressive about it now. We’ve been trying on and off in a gentler fashion since she was 2.5 and it never took. Her daycare and ped have both told us she’s completely ready developmentally and we need to just bite the bullet and do it. She’s aware she’s the only kid in her class who isn’t potty-trained and is sad about it. I think the current resistance to the potty actually has a lot to do with her feelings of shame (since it was less of a problem a few months ago) and that’s only going to get worse as she gets older. We have a toddler potty chair. I don’t think she likes being naked, so today we let her be in underwear and clothes and she kept the underwear dry until nap time but also hasn’t used the potty.
Spirograph says
I’m not sure where you live, but is it possible she is also COLD in addition to being scared?
I’m with others that this isn’t working, and you should stop and come back to it later. Or at least try a different method that doesn’t result in 3 hours of tears. We did the pantsless thing with at least one of my kids and if anything he was happy for NO PANTS! But at least one other one we just said, “wow, you’re such a big kid now, it’s time to stop wearing diapers,” did clothes and underwear and pumped the kid full of water and juice all day while hyping trying to use the potty every half hour and praising effusively for success.
Anonymous says
Are you totally pumping the fluids? Extra juice, milk, etc?
Anonymous says
Will she sit on the potty in her diaper and go in the diaper or a pull-up? This might be an intermediate compromise step. If that works, then when she is ready, she could go ON a diaper that is in the potty (that she isn’t wearing), and then eventually in the potty alone. I think some kids do have irrational fears about the potty swallowing them or their by-products.
Also, I think you should consider that she may be a nevernude. Have you tried denim cut-offs?
Anonymous says
Bahahahaha It’s probably too late for you to see this, but thank you for the nevernude/cutoffs comment. It’s been a rough day and I needed that.
Anon says
+1