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Anon for this says
Perimenopause:
How old were you when it started?
How did you know when it started?
I think it may have started when I was 38, and began bleeding in between periods. Currently trying to figure this out with doctors.
Anon says
I don’t think I’m there yet (currently pregnant, so can’t tell!) but before this pregnancy my cycles got markedly shorter, which is a big sign, so I bet I’m close. My cycles have always been irregular, with late ovulation (anywhere from cycle day 18-30), but recently had become more regular with ovulation right around day 14.
I’m 37, FWIW, and postpartum always lasts a long time for me, so I guess I’ll see when my cycles return in 1-2 years.
Anon says
I just remembered I was also getting what felt like mini hot flashes. I’ve always run cold, but was having periods of my face feeling super hot. Those went away with pregnancy, I guess because the hormone balance shifted.
Cb says
I’m 39 and my periods are getting pretty irregular (and heavy, but that was the copper IUD). I had the IUD removed 2 weeks ago, and went on the mini pill in order to regulate.
I feel like I have weird ageing symptoms – a drink or two kills my sleep.
Anonymous says
That’s not weird. Drinking disrupting your sleep is wildly wildly common
Anonymous says
Menopause and perimenopause experiences vary so, so widely that if I’m honest there’s not a lot of value in asking this question here.
Anon says
Very early symptoms in my mid-30s (noticeably lighter and shorter cycles, but no other changes). More noticeable and annoying symptoms around 40. I’m 43 and still have regular periods. My doctor said it’s common for it to last 10 or more years, and anecdotally seems to last longer for those who start earlier.
Anon says
I noticed because I had GSM postpartum (vaginal atrophy) when I was 38 and ever since, I’ve paid more attention to how that area looks and feels. I can definitely notice changes with hormone swings. I’ve had some short menstrual cycles as well, which is a sign that I’m in peri.
Anonymous says
I think “perimenopause” is an easy excuse for doctors not to bother figuring out what is really going on.
Anon says
I think it can be both…there ARE treatment for symptoms of both peri and menopause, so it’s useful to have that framework for what’s affecting you. A doctor should then investigate what is triggering the symptoms (eg out of balance hormones).
I am also an evangelist for tracking your cycle regularly, so you have baseline knowledge of what’s normal for you, and can pinpoint when in your cycle an abnormality pops up. Hormone testing, etc means nothing if you don’t know where in your cycle you are, as your hormones are meant to fluctuate throughout. Eg, A “low” level of progesterone is healthy and expected before ovulation, but a big problem after. Doctors will often work off a 28-day cycle, which is not most women’s experience
Anonymous says
I have no idea if I’m in it or not. I’m 36, almost 37, and the past year my weight has suddenly shifted to my belly without gaining weight. I don’t have diastis recti (kids are 5 and 7). But I’m getting hot flashes while sleeping during my period. Periods are still regular. My sister went through meno in her early 40s but my mom did at 52 so I have no idea!!!
Seafinch says
I am 46.5 and have no symptoms and my blood work is the same as its been for years, I just asked for screen. My cycle is the same as it has been for almost 35 years. I have been pregnant a lot (I just counted the weeks and it was 250+ weeks of pregnancy over 13 years and 12 pregnancies!), apparently pregnancy can push it back. My OB said I can reasonably expect it to be late, all other things being equal.
busybee says
At what age do/did you start bringing baby food to daycare in addition to bottles? My husband and I have completely forgotten when we started to with our daughter!
Anonymous says
When they are actually consuming the food at home, as opposed to just tasting or playing with it. Also ask the day care teachers about their approach. Our day care’s standard practice was to give purees at 6 months and encourage the babies to transition to mostly finger foods around 8-9 months as they were ready, but that was a while ago.
anon says
We started my son on solids at 6 months and started bringing small amounts of purees or BLW items for him to have at daycare around the same time. Obviously quantity was small at the beginning, and he wasn’t eating all that much, but the teachers were already doing snack and meal times for the slightly older babies so they just slotted him in to that.
Anon says
My kids were pretty big eaters and comfortable with food early. I think we sent some puffs or teething biscuits around 5 months so they could sit in a high chair with their friends at meal time. By 6 months they were getting a pouch plus some finger foods. By 7-8 months they were getting a full lunch (e.g., chicken curry with brown rice + fruit, plus 2x snacks). They were both primarily eating food for nutrition by 9-10 months, with less dependance on milk.
I know this isn’t the official timeline which has the switch to table food closer to 1 yo, but we followed their lead and let them consume what they wanted to consume. We weren’t going to make them go hungry when they wanted a meal. They were both pretty physically developed and walked before 9 mo, so early on other physical developmental stages too.
I think there’s a pretty big range of normal, but our rule of thumb was to make sure we were comfortable with them eating the food at home under close supervision for 1-2 weeks before we’d send it to daycare, where there was less supervision.
Anonymous says
7-8 months? We started with one meal a day earlier and whenever they were up to 2-3 meals a day we started sending food first for just lunch and later for snacks, just depending on how much food they were eating. One of ours was pretty much on table food by 10 mo, one a little later but either way it ramped up pretty quick!
Anon says
I’m in the thick of this right now. We just started sending purees at 6 months after our baby’s teacher messaged that he was super curious about his older friends having purees as well.
Anon says
Basically the same. I started sending purées around 6 months when her daycare teacher asked me to. Around 8 months, they asked if she could also start having fruits with the other kids and I said yes. She had been eating that at home for a while by that point.
Anonymous says
My husband and I are finally getting back into the same bed after 2+ years of trying to get our kids to sleep with us co-sleeping with them. Anyone have any tips and tricks to make it last – having kids stay in their own beds?
Anon says
Consistency with walking them back to their own beds, rubbing their back for a few minutes, and then returning to your own bed. It may be many times a night (and honestly we never even co-slept and still had at least one of our kids waking us every night until they were 5+…) but you will be able to keep everyone in their beds and someday they will just sleep through.
Judicious use of sticker charts can be helpful, too.
Leatty says
When they come in your room in the middle of the night, give them a blanket and pillow and tell them to lay on the floor beside your bed. Eventually they will decide their beds (or siblings’ beds) are more comfortable and stay put.
Anon says
2+ years of not sleeping together?!
Amelia pond says
First day in the 1 year old room at daycare and oh the tears. I had to run away before I started crying. Between that and not eating many solids I think it is going to be a rough week.
Anon says
aww. transitions are tough on mom too!
anon says
i have two kindergarteners (well at least for a few more days) who are nowhere close to ready for sleepovers. a few of their friends are going to overnight camp for like 3-4 nights this summer and some seem to have frequent sleepovers. and quite a few kids i know finishing first grade/rising second graders will be going to camp for two weeks out of state. i went to overnight camp as a kid for 3.5 weeks, but I started the summer after 3rd grade.are most kindergarteners comfortable with sleepovers?
Anonymous says
So i have 3 kids. My oldest started sleepovers in 2nd grade, at age 8. My current 3rd grader still hasn’t done them- she’s not ready. My current K kiddo has a few friends that do sleepovers but it’s much more like a cousin type sleepover- they go to bed at like 8pm and sleep in their own beds.
For sleepaway camp, I know some rising 3rd graders that did it but usually around me it’s more like rising 4th or 5th.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My kids (current 2nd grade and rising K-er) have never had any sleepovers, and I haven’t heard much about it from their friends. I’m sure there are sleepovers with close family friends, but it doesn’t seem to be as much of a thing in our current neighborhood. Also haven’t heard of any kid my older son’s age going to sleepaway camp yet. I think that starts in late elementary maybe?
Anon says
My now 10 year old daughter definitely was not having sleepovers or going to sleepaway camp at that age. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Mary Moo Cow says
That’s early in my circles: only one of my 3rd grader’s friends has had a sleepover and the first opportunity for overnight camp in our area was summer before 3rd grade. My daughter had a friend sleepover who got homesick and left around 10 pm (which was totally fine!) and she has not felt comfortable sleeping over at a friend’s house yet. We’re talking about one week of overnight camp for next year, since two friends are doing it this summer but we’ll see.
Anon says
My brother and I hosted our first sleepover in either kindergarten or first grade and they became more regular around third grade.
anon says
My rising 3rd grader is going to sleep away camp for 1 week this summer for the first time. Her only sleepovers have been with grandparents and her cousin.
Anon says
Have they done grandparent sleepovers yet?
My kids did family sleepovers since they were babies, close family friend sleepovers as little kids, and started friend sleepovers towards the end of 1st grade. If they haven’t done family or close family friend sleepovers, I’d start there.
anon says
That would be really early in my circle. Sleepovers haven’t really ramped up until 3rd grade for my kids. And, I hosted a cousin sleepover on Friday night and my poor niece ended up going home around midnight because she was too homesick. I was neither surprised nor offended; they are still young. It’s honestly hard for me to imagine sending kids to overnight camp in kindergarten or first grade.
Anonymous says
Among my daughter’s peers sleepovers seemed to start around second grade. Very few kids ever go to camp at all; if they do, it’s in late elementary or middle school. We got a massive amount of judgment for sending our daughter to camp for a week after first grade. She wanted to go and was sad when I came to pick her up.
Despite being a huge proponent of summer camp, I am not a fan of sleepovers. There is too much drama and the sleep deprivation turns my kid into a monster for days afterwards. If your kids aren’t ready and begging for sleepovers, consider yourself lucky.
OP says
i’m the OP and completely agree on this distinction between sleepovers and summer camp. huge proponent of the later, but not so much of the former.
Cb says
My son is turning 7 and had sleepovers with his cousins, and he’s slept over at his best friend’s house when we went to the theatre, but they are close family friends. We’ve hosted a friend overnight but because they were in a pinch. He had his first scouts meeting overnight in the spring, and it was the first time loads of the bunch had slept away. I wouldn’t do it without knowing the family really well.
Anonymous says
We had our first sleepovers in the second half of second grade, and will be going to overnight camp this summer for a week as a rising fourth grader. My kids were not close to ready as rising first graders.
Anon says
Kindergarten is crazy early for friend sleepovers. My oldest is in 3rd grade and it’s still not even on our radar.
TBH we are a bit anti-sleepover and I’m glad it hasn’t come up yet. No one sleeps well, there’s possibility for bad choices and screen time access that we are not comfortable with, and any quality hanging out can happen before I pick them up (I would be willing to let kid stay til 10/11pm instead.) I have boys and maybe the stereotype of “boys have bad judgement in groups” sways my opinion.
anon says
In my GS troop of rising 2nd graders, 4 won’t spend a night away from their parents, 2 are willing to spend just one night, and 6 are willing to spend 2 nights. So there’s a range for sure.
Anon says
My K-er is ready I think, but I haven’t found any other parents that were comfortable with it this year. We plan to start with her two closest friends in the fall.
Anon says
Oh and camp is not something she has any interest in right now (despite being a generally independent kid) and I don’t plan to push. I don’t think she’s a typical outdoorsy camp in the woods kind of kid, so I’m guessing she’ll following in my footsteps and not go to camp until she’s a tween who can go to niche academic or arts camps. Also I kind of want to take advantage of the “easy” years where day camps work great for summer childcare. All day camps end in my area by age 11 and then we’ll need sleepaway camp – why rush it when day camp is working great?
Anonymous says
For us, sleepaway camp is easier than day camp because day camps have limited hours and are often inconveniently located for drop-off and pickup.
anon says
Preach. I have a middle schooler, and summer options have become so much more difficult than they were in elementary school. He is a kid who benefits greatly from some structure, so staying home alone for 11 weeks is not it for us. We’ve managed to make it work, but it is a lot harder to find good options. And they have strong opinions by the time middle school rolls around.
Anon says
there are plenty of sleepaway camps that arent outdoorsy in the woods types of camps and if you start at age 11 at some of the camps it is hard to break in to the friendship circles, especially if you are a girl
Anon says
The camps I’m thinking of are things like Space Camp or camps run by universities where you don’t typically go for the whole summer or go back to the same camp every year because people try different things each year. So the majority of people are new every year and there aren’t cliques to break into.
It’s not really common in my circles to go to the same camp all summer every summer, although I know it’s a thing for some people.
Anon says
Really? In my area everything overnight for kids under about 10 is traditional outdoorsy camp. Girl/Boy Scouts being the big secular one, but there are also lots of church camps and camps that are traditionally Jewish. It’s around 5th/6th grade that you start to have more options for non-outdoorsy camps, with camps tailored to specific academic, art/music and sports interests. I attended tons of the latter kinds of camps in middle and high school and had great social experiences. No one knew each other except a few kids who came with a friend they knew from school.
Anonymous says
Legit question here, what is the benefit of sleepovers? i have two elementary kids who have no interest. I see this question a lot and it seems to be something most families are doing – is it bc the kids are begging or is there a reason I’m totally overlooking that families are encouraging sleepovers?
Anon says
Many of my happiest childhood memories were at sleepovers. I want my kids to have the same experiences – assuming they want to. That said, I don’t think you need to rush it and starting in mid-elementary school seems plenty early. I don’t think I had sleepovers with friends until I was 9 or 10, except for my next door neighbors and that was really just our parents’ trading childcare.
Anonymous says
One of my daughters (rising 4th grade) begs for them. She loves getting to play in another kid’s room, eat their family’s food, see what other family’s rules are. We have hosted two sleepovers for reciprocity’s sake and woof, they are not fun for me. It took forever for me to get the girls to bed and then they woke up super early. one guest didn’t like the pizza I ordered (wanted dominos or Papa John’s instead), and wanted waffles, not pancakes. It is a ton of work and I don’t sleep well.
Anon says
It’s like a party with your closest friends.
Anon says
I have an only child and probably wouldn’t have as much interest if I had two kids, but I think getting the “sibling for a day” experience (tongue in cheek, I know it’s nothing like actually having a sibling) is really special for an only child, and my daughter loves it. All the people we do sleepovers with also have only children, which may not be a coincidence.
I also love hosting them, but I’ve only hosted kids I know well and like a lot. I was actually just telling my husband that I feel like the “making pancakes after the sleepover” era is where I’ve really hit my stride as a mom. I was an anxious new mom when I had an infant and I’m not patient or into being touched so I was a terrible toddler mom. But man, I love making my elementary age kid and her friends breakfast and hanging out with them.
Anon says
Any thoughts on the Clek Liing infant car seat? It seems to have great reviews, it has a load leg and rigid latch (which we definitely want), and there’s a flame-retardant free fabric. Are there any downsides besides the price?
Anon says
I have it and my baby is only 6 weeks but so far I love it! Not super heavy and easy to install. I like how it can rock when it’s not installed- makes carting her around while napping easier. I didn’t get the flame-retardant free fabric (I’m a product liability attorney and have worked automotive fire cases…) but baby had a blow out in it the other day and it was easy to clean.
Anon says
Trying again…
Any thoughts on the Clek Liing infant car seat? It seems to have great reviews, it has a load leg and rigid latch (which we definitely want), and there’s a flame-ret*rdant free fabric. Are there any downsides besides the price?
Anon says
I don’t think there’s a downside, as long as it works with your stroller of choice and has the weight/height limit you’re comfortable with.
Anonymous says
I’ve been using ours for almost a year. The only downsides are that it can get heavy, and it’s pretty bulky. We had ours placed behind the driver’s seat, but the 5’7 driver couldn’t push the seat back very far in a Mazda CX-5. We solved this by moving the carseat to the passenger side and getting another car (which we were already going to do). These complaints are not exclusive to the Clek Liing, though, and by all accounts it is the safest carseat currently on the market and extremely easy to install. I’ll miss it when we transition to a larger carseat!
Foonf says
Not sure about the Clek Lling, but I regret buying the Clek Foonf. It’s unreasonably heavy and hard to install and you have to completely uninstall and re-install it every time you need to adjust the strap height.
Birthday food says
I’m hosting a birthday party for a 4 year old from 3-4:30 on a Sunday. I’ve usually just ordered pizzas for prior kids birthdays but I’m wondering if I can get away with something less than pizza during this time. There will be 10 kids plus parents and it’s at a kids play gym. Any suggestions for what to serve? There will be cake.
Mary Moo Cow says
Oh, I love the comments these queries generate!
FWIW, I do not serve and would not expect pizza at a party in this time frame. I would serve, and have seen at similar parties, bags of chips, fruit snacks, one veggie tray, and one fruit tray available in the party room to serve with cake.
Anonymous says
For a short party in the middle of the afternoon I think cake + drinks is plenty.
Anon says
I would do an assortment of snacks + cake for this time frame. I’d probably do a bowl of popcorn / pretzels / chips, a fruit tray, and a heartier snack (soft pretzel tray, chicken nugget tray, pigs in a blanket).
Anonymous says
I think bags of chips, pretzels or pirates booty would be fine. I would also not expect pizza at this time.
Anonymous says
I do not think you need pizza and honestly would prefer that my kiddo didn’t eat pizza (+cake etc) at 3:45 on Sunday cuz dinner….
However, at a recent 2 – 4 pm b-day (at gym), I felt like I didn’t have enough good for the pack of 6 year olds. (I also then got home and realized I didn’t set out the enormous fruit trays – forehead slap.)
So i would say: cake + drinks + fruit + granola bars / pretzels or other easy to transport snacks.
Anon says
I think you can just do snacks. But I’m always a fan of communicating food plans in the invite – say “snacks and cake served” or “pizza and cake served” so your guests can plan accordingly.
Anon says
+1 either is fine but I love a head’s up on the invite
Anonymous says
Yup I don’t think you need to serve a meal. Chips and water bottles and cake is fine! You can serve watermelon slices if you want to be fancy.
Anonymous says
My 5 year old is making us scratch our heads recently. If you have a kid like this or who’s gone through phases like this, what helped??? We are so perplexed. Kiddo is finishing kindergarten in a couple weeks. So impulsive – just in the last few months really has it increased so markedly. If he’s playing kind of crazy/silly, cannot hear you if you talk to him and cannot stop if you tell him to because he either can’t hear or can’t process. Touches stuff he shouldn’t, or if you say “stop doing X” he definitely does it one more time. Yesterday he mooned his brother (???? Why????) while they were out running an errand for me in the neighborhood just the two of them. Hits a lot but not hard, just constantly whacking us. We always do consequences, very consistent, but honestly consequences seem to have no effect- it’s like he can’t control it. He definitely needs a ton of heavy work and big body movement but that doesn’t always calm him down. Monkey bars and crashing into his crash pad are a daily thing. When I led a class for him and his class as the “teacher,” he was a total disaster, jumping on me , running around the room etc. Notably, we have talked with his teacher and apart from ONE DAY when he hadn’t slept much his teacher has not noticed this at school. So maybe that’s good? Anyway if things continue to decline in first grade I suppose we’ll be doing adhd type testing but – any strategies that have worked for you?!???? How do you parent for impulsive behavior?
Anonymous says
I ignore it, make sue he get sleep, provide natural consequences, and limit/remove screen time. FWIW my kid is now 8.5 and it has helped dramatically.
Anon says
I’ve heard anecdotally that reducing screentime (or eliminating it) works well for boys with this profile.
Anonymous says
Thanks. He gets pretty limited screen time, zero to 20 min most days. He does often get more audio book time which is his relaxing time. We have noticed he does need a ton of downtime and audio books help with that.
Anon says
More exercise. Lots and lots of time at the pool this summer.
Big consequences for things like mooning.
Anonymous says
I love this except we live in a cold summers climate so summer pool time is not so much a thing! Absolutely on the outdoor exercise though.
Anonymous says
Hahahahaha I love that he mooned his brother! Sigh.
I have a 5yo as well, he’s finishing preK. We’ve been in a somewhat similar phase. Not the exact same behaviors, but a lot of ignoring us/ physicality/ whining. There are days when it’s like someone swapped a gremlin for my child. Part of me thinks it’s a phase connected to the end of the school year and all that entails (anxiety about the change, a very close friendship that’s in flux, etc). But some of it has been serious enough that teachers recommended we look into OT, so we’re doing an evaluation later this week. We’ve also been trying to give him 1:1 time with us on the weekends, and that helps a lot.
anon says
I have 7yo girls like this and their impulsive behavior also really ramped up around 4.5 or 5. We have no magic solution, but have made some progress with OT, medication, sticker charts, and lots of outlets for sensory input (we have an indoor trampoline, swing, and trapeze). They’re both to different degrees triggered by unknown situations or having something they were expected change suddenly, so we try to discuss those things in advance.
For hitting, what ended up being the most effective was a consistent “if you use your body to hurt someone you’re going to time out” approach. It sucks to implement, but that (combined with meds) has definitely help curb those impulses.
anon says
Oh, and building downtime into our schedules whenever possible. They have much more cope for life and reduced impulsive behaviors after spending an hour or two playing alone or reading a book than if they’re just come from 6 hours of school or camp where they are constantly interacting with others.
Anonymous says
Glad to hear it. We are recently noticing the need for downtime and trying to build in more. He shows that need so differently from our older child that it took a long time to even notice he has this need- older child is much more prone to meltdowns.
Anonymous says
What do they do in OT that is helpful? It’s extremely difficult to get via our insurance- like extremely difficult- so I am always surprised at the number of suggestions for this. We eventually qualified for one visit with our older kid and then the OT basically said we didn’t qualify for more visits bc the issue wasn’t bad enough. We need to go via insurance if at all possible for $ reasons.
Anonymous says
Not to minimize your other concerns, but I think it’s pretty common for kids to misbehave when their parents are in the classroom. This is one of the many reasons I don’t volunteer at the school.
Anon says
+1 I do volunteer, but agree it’s very common for kids to misbehave for their own parents. I still remember a disastrous experience in pre-K.
Anon says
How much unstructured outside time is he getting (not parent, teacher, or coach-directed)?
Anonymous says
A lot, particularly now that it is not raining every day and dark at 4:30 pm. Always looking for more opportunities for that.
Anonymous says
Doesn’t mean that this is the case with your kid, but this impulsive behavior — especially the inability to hear me when I talk to him in the moment — was a big signal of ADHD in our kid. A lot of the same advice applies here — seems like sticker charts, etc. are how ADHD experts often suggest approaching it — but for us, it wasn’t just impulsivity, it was that he really couldn’t control himself without us spending a lot more time on underlying issues to help him get it under control. (Oh, and age has helped a lot too.)
Anonymous says
Thanks. We are tracking to see if he’ll need evaluation. It’s sort of a new issue at the moment and still in the unclear “is this immaturity or is it a THING” stage.
Anon says
For the inability to hear you, what helps with all kids (but especially my ADHD-er) is getting very close to them, touching them, making eye contact, and then speaking. And pausing and asking him if he understands/if he can repeat what you said. Remember 2-2-2…no more than two feet away, your two eyes making contact with his, and your two feet planted on the ground (so no calling instructions while walking around). It can take a long time for kids to switch gears and process.
anon says
Not calling instructions from another room or while doing another task has been one of the hardest parenting shifts for my ADHD kids. I’m working on it, but I have a really hard time stopping what I’m in the middle of (making lunches, loading the dishwasher, etc) to walk upstairs to say “okay, remember you need to be putting on your pjs now”.
Anon says
thank you for this comment. my DH doesn’t seem to understand why we should have to walk upstairs to give instructions to kiddos…and i’m like bc kiddo cannot process the instructions you give from another room
Anonymous says
Upstairs is not enough. Get their attention first. Then give instructions. So like ‘please pause your tv show’ – kid pauses show or you repeat that instruction a second time. If they don’t pause it the second time, then pause it yourself. Then give the instruction ‘please take your swim bag from the front porch to the laundry room’.
For things like mooning – that would be a big consequence for us. Like end of play, time out in your room for a half hour big. If you can’t play respectfully with others then you cannot play with others’. With boys it is very important to be very clear early on that exposing themselves to unwilling viewers is not a joke.
Anon says
Seriously. I’m 1:04 and I still do it too much. But then when my kid predictably doesn’t respond I have to remind myself that the problem is *my approach* and not my kid. ADHD kids are often fully engrossed in whatever they are doing (they have excellent attention skills when they choose the activity!)…and I think about myself in similar situations, like caught up in a book. I legitimately do not hear my husband or kids calling me, either!
AwayEmily says
What’s your favorite post-mosquito-bite itch reduction product? My daughter and I are both super, super delicious to mosquitos. I currently have seventeen (!!) bites on my legs/ankles (they got me THROUGH MY LEGGINGS while I was outside at dusk last night). I’m generally pretty good about not itching but the second-grader has a bad habit of itching them til they bleed and I’d love to find something to help her. When I was a kid we used “Afterbite” but I’m not sure if that is still the gold standard…
(and yes, we also use a heavy-duty bug spray but sometimes we forget or they sneak through)
Anonymous says
The Bug Bite Thing is effective if used relatively soon after the bite. As far as creams go I prefer Caladryl Clear.
Anonymous says
We started giving my kid generic Zyrtec after he gets bitten and that seems to help more than any topical treatment. We also have one of those bite zapper things (ceramic tip that heats up) but that only seems to help for a little while.
octagon says
Benadryl spray lives in every medicine cabinet in my house. Also, regular hydrocortizone cream can help shrink them.
Anon says
yes, we’ve had success with hydrocortisone cream
Anon says
Yup the spray is the best. I get welts and it’s the only thing that helps.
Anon says
For many bites, a cool shower or bath can help.
Anon says
I’m always the first bitten. It’s so annoying. Bug Bite Thing stays in my purse and we have an extra few around the house. I also carry Benadryl anti-itch stuff. I like the stick applicator more than the spray because the spray tends to go everywhere and drip. I find the stick applicators are a little harder to find, so stock up if you do find them. Other than that I use bug spray generously, even over my leggings when I’m out at dusk (I, too, get bit through leggings – may as well be bare-legged).
Mary Moo Cow says
+2 to The Bug Bite Thing. That plus generic brand cortisone for after the fact.
If I remember, natrapel wipes or spray before we go out.
Anonymous says
Hydrocortisone with oral Benedryl. One of my kids has huge reactions to bites and this is the way for her. Afterbite can sometimes help too.
Anona says
Can’t speak to teh Clek Liing, but we love our Clek Foonf (although it is a TANK) and will get the booster seat when the time comes. For the infant seat we opted for one that works in a stroller system (the Uppababy), and I have no regrets about that.
Anonymous says
Clek now sells adapters specifically for UppaBaby strollers. Works great after 10+ months of near daily use.
Anonymous says
What is your favorite oral rehydration solution for adults that doesn’t contain Splenda or other artificial sweeteners?
Anon says
Pedialyte _ yes, for adults too
Anon says
Seconded. Pedialyte is the best.
Anon says
Drop drop has real sugar in it
Anon says
Whoops, should be Drip Drop .
Anon says
Depends if you put Stevia in that bucket, but Liquid IV. It works really well. I also normally shy away from artificial sweeteners but for the occasional use I’m okay with this…you really only need one pack + 16 oz water to make a big difference
Seafinch says
LMNT; they have flavoured with Stevia and unflavoured without. It’s the gold standard in the fitness community and nothing else really compares that I have tried. Re-lyte is a decent option (good ratios).
Anoon says
Do your kids call your friends “auntie”? Which friends and why?
My kids call my bestie from college “auntie firstname”– which she started immediately when they were born and it stuck. No other friends are called auntie; DH and I have siblings so the kids have 3 family aunties, plus lots of great-aunties. My childhood bestie is just “firstname,” despite our relationship being more like family for whatever that’s worth. Another friend just had a baby and refers to me as the baby’s “auntie firstname” which I find sweet. My kids do not call her “auntie” though which feels a little lopsided but I dont think it super matters that they reciprocate.
This is just funny for me because I have a very large extended family with lots of aunties and a culture where extended family older generation women are “auntie” even if theyre technically your cousin. I had never heard of friends being called aunties until having kids. Just curious for other folks’ experience!
Anon says
Yes, my two best friends from college and I are aunties to each others’ kids. One of them is Indian-American though and I guess I sort of assumed it was a cultural thing the rest of us adopted. Although my kids also call my high school BFF auntie.
I don’t think reciprocation matters as long as you’re both happy with the titles.
Anon says
Yes. All our friends are auntie/uncle so and so, even if they aren’t related or of our culture. Similar to you we come from cultures (East Asian) where anyone older folks are addressed with honorifics (auntie/uncle/etc).
Anonymous says
Yes, we have a couple of friends that are Aunt or Auntie even though not related. It just sort of happened naturally. Growing up I absolutely had an Uncle Steve who was… my mom’s coworker! I guess they were really close when I was born and for maybe 7 years thereafter but I don’t even think they talk now (I’m in my 40s). For ours, one is my high school best friend and at age 9 I think we are drifting away from calling her Auntie as the kids see her less and they get older. Another is someone I was very close to pre kids- we live on opposite coasts so while we call her Auntie it’s not a daily thing. Another is my husband’s high school friend who also lives far away.
GCA says
East Asian here, all our friends/ older folks are auntie/ uncle to our kids, but I don’t really care if they reciprocate or not.
Side note: I’m still puzzling over honorifics for nonbinary friends that also feel culturally relevant – for instance if we were of Hispanic or Italian heritage it would be Titi or Zizi – right now kids just refer to older NB adults by their first names, so I’d love to hear what others have come up with.
Anon says
I grew up calling my parents’ closest friends (4-5 couples) “aunt” and “uncle” and the rest of their friends (who we still saw regularly and I loved them like I love my aunts and uncles) Mr. and Mrs. Lastname. If my parents called these friends by a nickname, their name was Aunt Nickname or Uncle Nickname – yes these are their friends’ college nicknames so yes I have an “Aunt Sauce” – born out of her getting “sauced” one night. We did not call any adult by their first name during my childhood, though now I call many of my parents’ friends by their first names. As an adult I still socialize with these people and still love them. We didn’t call far away friends who we didn’t see often aunt or uncle, even though that included my mom’s best friend – basically it was very close friends of my parents who we saw regularly.
My kid is too young to speak, but we already refer to some of our friends as “aunt” and “uncle”, and that includes the silly college nicknames too – so there’s an Uncle Sully and an Aunt Vee (and there are no V’s in her name).
We are basic white people from PA – no cultural basis for this though I know my parents grew up calling their parents’ BFFs “aunt and uncle” too.
Anon says
i always thought it was common in certain cultures, but not in mine. everyone is just first name, or now that i live more in the south it is “miss first name,” which i personally do not like to be called, and tell all my kids friends that, but remind my kids to call others using “miss” unless they say otherwise. my kids call no one auntie. we say “Aunt Jane” or “Uncle Jo” for the actual aunts/uncles
Anon says
We have a lot of friends (I think 6 couples) that are auntie/uncles and vise-versa. They’re close friends and our kids are similar ages.
Anon says
I refer to my two closest friends as Aunt so and so. My kids don’t speak yet, but I assume they will use that name. They see them about once a week and I expect will eventually have relationships independent of me. Their husbands are also called uncle, but the kids see them less.
All of our other friends, who they see half a dozen times a year or less, just get called by their name. I have one friend who self-appointed herself aunt, and that kind of annoys me. But I acknowledge that it annoys me since that friend has largely disappeared from my life since my kids were born.
Basically, if you are close enough to my kids to make the emergency pick-up list (we have no local family) you are probably called aunt or uncle
Booster for travel says
We’ll be traveling next month with a kid who’s finally old enough for a booster seat. What’s your favorite travel-friendly booster? We’re going to be driving a lot on this trip so I’d like to get something comfortable, rather than rely on the car rental company.
Anon says
We have the $25 Graco one from Target. It’s been fine and is relatively easy to cart around.
Anon says
The Cosco Rise is excellent for being cheap, lightweight, and narrow enough to fit 3 across in a car when needed. My kids have never complained about the comfort, but it doesn’t have a ton of padding. For a higher end option, I’d go with the Chicco Go Fit which has cup holders and a convenient carry handle.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Who here has a trampoline in their backyard? I think we’ve discussed trampoline parks here before (we’ve gone to, and hosted many a bday party at our local one) but I’m thinking of adding one to our yard. We never got the big playset and our kids (8 and 5.5) are on the way out of outgrowing this anyway. I think having somewhere to get their energy out (especially my older one) will be nice for the kids, and also when friends come over. I know there are safety concerns with these, but all the ones sold now have the mesh netting around, and I see so many of these in my neighborhood. I feel like the pros of getting their energy out, being outside and not on screens outweigh the cons for me but curious to see what others here think.
anon says
I have wanted one for years, but DH absolutely refuses on the grounds of safety and liability. I think his concerns are pretty overblown, but he will not budge.
AwayEmily says
I was recently considering this, too…I don’t think we will actually pull the trigger but I definitely see the appeal.
One middle-ground idea…your own bounce house. My sister-in-law got us a version of this one https://www.wayfair.com/Ubesgoo–130-x-124-Bounce-House-with-Slide-and-Air-Blower-wu1G88000175G88000057-L3656-K~UBEO1809.html and it has been AMAZING. We get it out every time we have people over and the kids go nuts — over Memorial Day weekend, it kept nine kids entertained for four hours straight. It takes maybe five minutes to inflate.
AwayEmily says
Oh, and bonus — I lend it out to friends for birthday parties!
Anon says
I was going to suggest this too. Or a giant inflatable water slide. We got one during 2020, and it’s still going strong and has been loaned to a bunch of people for parties.
Anon says
I think that this is really fun for younger kids, but will loose the appeal as they get older and eventually too big for it. FWIW, my neighbor / BFF had one when we were kids and we still used it all the time in high school! Her parents loved it despite the risks because it became the hangout spot for our whole group of friends – we spent many more nights jumping on the trampoline and just lying around / hanging out on their trampoline than we did trying to get into trouble or partying. More than one friend had their first kiss out there. It was just our natural hangout spot because when we were younger everyone wanted to come over and jump on the trampoline and then it progressed from that to being our group’s main hang out / meet up spot.
Anon says
My kids are too young for one, but we’ll likely get one when they’re older. We had one growing up and to this day my parents say it was the best money they ever spent. It got regular use up through high school. We never had any real injuries on it, though we did get hurt playing sports and when doing other active outdoor play.
I think the fun to risk ratio here leans in favor of getting a trampoline, but I also encourage active play for my kids, even if it means they might get hurt (within reason).
Anonymous says
I hate them. I have older elem kids and I’d recommend a zip line, slackline, climbing wall/grips, maybe a climbing some or tree swing.
Anonymous says
The mesh netting doesn’t fix the main issue. The main issue is broken bones (including neck bones) from impact on the bouncing surface. We’ve done the trampoline park and even hosted a couple trampoline parties but 2 hrs a few times a year is a big difference from daily. We’ve also done gymnastics lessons which are much safer because kids are supervised and instructed on how to land.
AAP has had a recommendation against them for well over a decade “The AAP recommends that mini and full-sized trampolines never be used at home, in routine gym classes, or on playgrounds. They should only be used in supervised training programs for gymnastics, diving, or other competitive sports. Only one person should be allowed on a trampoline at any given time. ” https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/at-play/Pages/Trampolines-What-You-Need-to-Know.aspx
I think the big playset is what you need. Costco has great ones with 3 levels at a reasonable price. Our almost ten year old twins and the 10 and 11 year olds next door use it all the time. The play is different vs when they were younger – more like it’s home base for some kind of capture the flag type game. Swing is also in constant use.
Anon says
Yeah the trampoline parks seem much less risky to me. Not only because it’s a much shorter total amount of time, but also because there’s so much to do there that’s not trampolines (ball pits, arcade, climbing wall etc). We’ve attended quite a few trampoline park parties, and hosted a couple but I would not have one in my yard.
CCLA says
Prompted by the question above, what age do kids outgrow the play sets? Mine will be 6 and 8 in the fall and we are redoing our yard this summer. Backyard is small so not a ton of room to work with but the kids are begging for monkey bars. We’re definitely not getting a regular full size playset, but I’m tempted to put in something like a vuly play with monkey bars and a swing of some sort. Curious if anyone has tried that brand or has other recs for outdoor structures at this age.
Mary Moo Cow says
My kids are newly 9 and almost 7, and playing on the backyard set dropped off around 7. Ours is a Gorilla with a rope stair, ladder, and rock climbing entrance, slide, and 3 swings. I switched out the middle swing for a swing bar and one swing for a saucer swing a few months ago, and they both really like that. Otherwise, they climb the rope ladder and hop down, or occasionally go up the slide, but don’t use it too much. Last summer they had fun sliding down onto a splash pad, but when I mentioned it the other day, both just shrugged. They never just sit in the house part anymore.
I had not heard of the Vuly play but that looks cool. Given your kids’ ages, I would consider that over a wooden playset.
Anonymous says
We have a swingset that has a tower, monkey bars with swings underneath from kings swings. It’s a taller set and was pricey but REALLY worth it. Mine are 5 and 7 and use it EVERY day and in creative ways. The 7yo (girl) is super strong from all the monkey bars/trapeze. Our backyard is not huge either but I always say we make it work hard. You can also eventually switch out swings for hanging hammocks or seats.
Anon says
Has anyone dealt with a low platelet count during pregnancy? I am pregnant with my second and did not experience this last time. Is there anything you did to improve your platelet count so you could receive an epidural at your delivery? I am currently at a 105 and am still in second trimester. My doctor said they will continue to monitor my levels during this pregnancy and we will discuss more options if my levels continue to drop.
Anonymous says
When do you tell your older kid(s) about expecting a new baby? In my case, older kid is 4, will be almost 5 when baby is born. We were thinking of telling about 8-10 weeks before the due date so he has time to adjust but not so much time as to be too confused and anxious about it.
Anon says
We told our older kid just before we told other family – after first trimester (I know others differ on this but we didn’t tell anyone until this time for both kids). As soon as you tell others or start to show the pregnancy, the sibling talk will start – “aren’t you excited to be a big brother!?!” And you want to be the ones to tell the kid and answer questions – and there’s no way you can avoid talking about the new baby in front of them for more than 6 months!
Our child was just about 4 when kid #2 conceived. It worked out fine – and big sib was great when baby arrived. We love the age gap most of the time.
Former Junior Associate says
We told family about our second pretty early (late first trimester, but after we’d had the first doctor’s appointment, had an initial heartbeat, etc.) and told our then-2-year-old at the same time, for the same reason as Anon 3:03: it seemed impractical to count on keeping it a secret from him when lots of other people, who we’d be around a lot, all knew.
Anonymous says
A kid that old will notice much, much sooner than that. I would actually tell your child before you tell anyone else.
Anon says
+ 1
Anon2 says
+2. I mean, I tell my sisters as soon as that line turns pink, but then we tell our kids before spreading it broadly. They notice things are different — for me, I was throwing up a lot and drinking Gatorade and apple juice, which I never do! Obviously they didn’t suspect that means pregnancy, but it’s important to address changes head on. Most recently I told my 3 (who were 8, 6 and 2 at the time) when I was about 8-9 weeks along. They were SO excited.
Things happen and babies come early or moms need to go on bedrest, etc. It seems much more traumatic to be told about a sibling and then have it born/mom be out of commission the next week.
Anon says
+3 this seems incredibly late. They’ll notice behavioral changes even before your belly is obvious, most likely.
Anon says
+4. I cannot imagine waiting until 32 weeks to tell a 4.5 year old. Seems incredibly late (borderline weird IMO).
Anon says
unless you never start showing, that seems like quite late. i would think if you want to wait longer, then maybe at the 20 week scan, but otherwise like 16 weeks or whenever you begin telling other people. your kid will likely notice something otherwise?
Anon says
FWIW our 4 year old told daycare before we told her/most people. They hear everything. I’d just tell the kids unless there’s some big reason not to.
Anon says
We told our 4 and 2 year old after the anatomy scan, around 20 weeks.
anon says
This is really weird. A kid that old is going to know something is up.
Same age gap between my kids, and my oldest was told after the first trimester.
HSAL says
My daughter was just over 2 when I got pregnant. We told her she’d be a big sister as soon as we found out, but didn’t mention it again and didn’t tell anyone else. Nearly two months later, my parents were visiting and she casually drops “Mommy has a baby in her tummy.” No one responded, so she doubled down and said it louder and I finally caved. We were going to tell both sets of parents the next day!
Anonymous says
I told my 4 year old after the first trimester testing came back, and she was the first person we told. It’s also a nice segue into where babies come from if you want to get some books for the older kid. Your child is probably very perceptive and will notice as soon as your body starts changing or if you have a lot of morning sickness.
Also a lot of kids in their class may be getting another sibling around then, and your kid may ask you even if they don’t realize you’re pregnant.