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Washable, wrinkle-resistant blazers like this one from Lululemon are essential for frequent flyers.
This relaxed-fit blazer is made from an easy-care textured twill fabric. It has functional pockets (including one with an interior card sleeve) and a back vent for mobility. The roomy fit is perfect for layering with a light sweater or even a hoodie for the plane ride home.
This blazer is $198 and comes in true navy, bone, and black. It’s available in sizes XS-XL. For another option in additional sizes, consider this one, available at Kohl’s for $74 (some colors out of stock).
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
Anon says
For the person who asked about matching outfits recently, I just took my 6 year old back to school shopping and we got some really cute matching dresses at Vineyard Vines.
Anon says
That was me, thank you!
Anon says
Favorite places to buy high-quality organic cotton baby clothes?
anon says
Hannah Andersson is classic for this.
Cb says
Lindex and Frugi.
Anon says
Lindex looks really cute but may not ship to the US – bummer!
Anon says
Mori.
anon says
Primary has limited organic cotton options for some kids’ clothes and they also have baby sizes. I’ve been happy with the quality and the overall value for kids’ clothes.
Anon says
Polarn O Pyret
Red Shoes says
Boden, Hanna Anderson, Janie and Jack. You’ll need to review fabric content at all three to confirm.
Anonymous says
Carter’s has a Little Planet sub-brand that I like
Anon says
when my children were born, my MIL insisted they must wear kissy kissy brand stuff. While pricey, I must admit it was softer than all the rest.
Anon says
Thanks all! Appreciate the recommendations. We already have 1-2 items from Polarn O. Pyret and it’s SO cute – will definitely be on the lookout for more.
Anonymous says
I like Parade for infant clothes — they have a pretty limited selection but their cotton is really soft and holds up over time.
Annonit says
Paging the Anon from yesterday who asked about unsticking her kids – I didn’t reply because I am having the same problem (kids are 2 and almost-4) and was hoping you would get magical advice I hadn’t come up with. Last night I cried on my way home from work because I didn’t want to go home because it all feels like too much, so I just wanted to give you some solidarity. Part-time is not an option for me, nor do I want to work part-time. The only thing that works for me is to be away from the house. Just sending you so many good vibes and saying on behalf of all of us in this position that this too shall pass.
Anon says
I think the idea that you should go part time at work because your kids are clingy is absurd. I responded late to that thread, but I work part time and am the primary parent and my kid is and always has been pretty velcroed to me — she separates fine at school and activities and handles my travel ok, but if I’m home she needs to be in the same room as me and preferably physically touching me. When we’ve gone through periods of rough behavior we’ve noticed improvement from finding more ways to get her physical contact with me like sitting on my lap at dinner. As someone said yesterday, some people have a love language of physical touch. It can be very hard on the preferred parent and the last thing you need is mom guilt about how you’re working too much.
Anon says
I work part time as well, about 20 hours a week all within their sxhool hours and my kids have an extreme mom preference, sometimes it makes it worse since they get so much more time with mom than dad when you have different work hours. “survive till 5” is honestly the most fitting motto, this too shall pass.
Cb says
My son is much more physical with me than his dad, and would prefer, even at 7, to be lying next to me, on top of me, etc. It can be a bit overwhelming but leaning into the physical contact at appropriate times really seems to help. Like you can lie on me while I read you a story, but can’t be rough.
Anon says
Agree. Women who work full-time can and do spend quality time with their kids and the kids may STILL be clingy. Some kids just are.
Cerulean says
Heck, my SIL is a SAHM and her youngest (now 4) has always been a velcro kid.
anon says
My BFF has been a SAHM from the get-go. Her youngest kid (age 8) is still a clinger. Some kids are just this way, and I really hated the sentiment yesterday that piled on working moms. I’ve gotten enough of that in the real world, I sure don’t want to see it on a message board geared toward working moms. This is one of the few safe places I have to talk about the nuts-and-bolts of life.
Anon says
I’m glad this was re-stated. There have been times where I’ve posted about some challenge I’m experiencing/a stressful season, and the (minor) chorus of “work less” is just…not it, especially for a site dedicated to moms that work outside of the home.
Anonymous says
+100 it is so hurtful to see that here.
AwayEmily says
ALSO solidarity. I commented on this post yesterday but it didn’t get approved til later (probably for the best since it was a VERY annoyed response to the “just work part-time, kids need their mommies” comment).
I have three kids (8,6,2) and all of them have gone through these clinginess/jealousy stages. Sometimes focused on me, sometimes focused on their dad. Picture all three kids fighting over my lap, yelling “No, MY mama! No, MY mama!” I can’t stand it. But it always passes. Sometimes after a week, sometimes after a month. It comes, it goes, we get through it the best we can.
And I will note that I have an extremely flexible job, end work by 4 almost every day, spend tons of time both one-on-one and together with my kids, and this still happens. A lot. In fact, the absolute worst period was when I was home with both kids for six months during Covid. I don’t know any parent who manages to avoid this stage — it is a normal developmental thing; it just sucks to be in the middle of it. Keep escaping! I also find that it’s sometimes a bit better when everyone is out of the house — we used to spend a LOT of time in libraries because of this.
Anon says
I think really giving in to the clinginess or reading too much into it can have risks too. I’m not saying not to engage with your kids when they want to spend time with you, but I have a good friend who was extremely jealous when her son was clingy with her husband (“no mom, I only want dad”) type of stuff. The instant the trend reversed and her son became clingy with her instead, she embraced it because she seemed afraid it wouldn’t happen again. She hasn’t slept through the night or been to the gym since and self-consciously jokes that she’s “insecure” and a “smother mother” but seems unable to pull back and take time to herself. Perhaps it’s an extreme example, but I tend to think it’s better to let phases pass without fanfare.
Anon says
Absolutely
Space Invader says
Agree. We have a neighbor we’ve known since birth who is superrrr clingy to parents. As kiddo has aged, clingy to mom/dad has translated to being extremely clingy to peers, including my similarly aged DD. Neighbor kid knows zero boundaries and it’s really uncomfortable for DD (and for us) to watch. I’m not saying all kids who are clingy to parents become clingy to non-parents, but it’s been…something.
Given this experience we’ve made it a point to talk about personal space/boundaries. I do ask my sometimes clingy kiddo for space and teach/model phrases about why I want or need that space in the moment. Also, I think it’s Bluey that uses the phrase “space invader” and DD, who is 6.5, seems to understand what that means from the episode (I haven’t paid close attention to it tbh but know the phrase). I of course use other phrases and modeling language for requesting some distance, but “space invader” and the reference to her beloved Bluey makes us all laugh and diffuses sometimes tense moments.
Anon says
OMG, my sweet niece might live in your neighborhood. We just finished a vacation with her, and she attached to my daughter, who was a good sport about it, but just DONE by the end of the week. They would watch a movie, and the girl would just wrap her body around my daughter. My daughter would request “space, please,” and the kid just couldn’t/wouldn’t extract herself. My sister in law kept saying how lovely of a trip it was that the kids could do their own thing, but in a lot of ways, I think she was reacting to the fact that her daughter/my niece just transferred her need for physical interaction to my child, so she had a break all week.
Anon says
OH! I have a suggestion for highly clingy kids when you are touched out that I didn’t see yesterday — especially if you need a quick fix, but find a second location for dinner after you pick up from daycare. I think I maybe ate like 2 dinners at home per week during the years that my kids were 2 and 4 or 3 and 5. (1) Eating at a new playground (or just somewhere other than your house) is enough of a distraction that the kids are more likely to physically separate themselves from you but still have the benefit of doing something with you/being with you, and (2) I found I was less triggered by their need for physical closeness when I wasn’t coming in from a long day at work also looking at cleaning up dishes, the mess in the playroom, etc. Yes, they ate more chicken nuggets those years than I’d like, but they are now 10 and 12 with healthy, varied diets. Also, there are so many more options now for delivery food that is slightly healthier, and I got really good at the crockpot protein, and could just grab apples or fruit to add to BBQ chicken or whatever.
Longer term, but start subscribing to the potted plant parenting model, even for toddlers. I found that my friends who constantly narrated their baby or toddler’s activities (also thinking of the thread yesterday) bc they had believed it would lead to more verbal kids ended up with kids who needed so much more hands on parenting (and frankly more fighting) than mine ever did. I had one friend who I found it really difficult to be around when our kids were young bc the kids would start playing pretend tea party, and she’d jump in with “Ohhhh, what kind of tea are you serving? I see that you gave Teddy bear a white cup, and you gave Stuffed kitty a yellow one,” etc. etc. and the kids would go from being quietly engaged in what they were doing or getting going on their own game to wanting us to be involved, and like ten minutes later, it would be a fight bc the kid who was sitting 10 feet away playing magnatiles would suddenly want attention. I used to just sit next to my kids reading or cleaning or whatever, and would only engage if specifically asked a question, then would extricate myself again. She used to marvel that my kids were so good at independent play, but like, stop bugging them when they are playing! Read up on Reggio Emilia or potted plant parenting (being physically close, but not actively interfering).
Also, I’m sitting here at my parents’ beach house where I have worked remotely for most of the summer. I think my 10 year old son who craved physical connection as a kid (who I also wore in a toddler carrier after long work days bc it was honestly less exhausting than trying to wrangle him) maybe gave me one side hug this week? He’s reading a book, and my daughter is wrapped up in her imaginary games in the other room. I’ve been working 8ish hours a day, and everyone has been happy and fine. This toddler phase WILL pass. Don’t go part time bc you have a clingy kid, just cull away the stuff that is making life harder (for me, it was entertaining kids, cooking a full meal after work, cleaning it up, and doing bedtime in like 2 hours — so I found a second location and outsourced dinner, came home to a clean house with tired kids who went to bed after a fun outing at a park or indoor playground with mom).
AwayEmily says
Very much agree with all of this!!
Anon says
I’ve never heard it called potted plant parenting but this is 100% what I do and I love the term.
Anon says
I was able to do more of this with my older kid, but my younger kid has speech delays and by engaging with them it actually helps with his communication. Just food for thought.
Anon says
100% if there is a specific issue to address! In this case, my sweet friend (who I love dearly) had read the parenting articles de jour, which at the time said to narrate life to increase verbal skills, so she was intentionally narrating to improve her neurotypical children’s outcomes. Her father is a child psychologist, so I think she also felt a lot of pressure to make sure she was doing exactly the right thing when it came to child development, but her daughter especially really needed an adult’s gaze/interaction/intervention to play until she was like 8ish? Her daughter is lovely, but parenting always just seemed SO HARD for them. They really never had downtime when parenting a neurotypical, very intelligent, sweet kid.
Anon says
Kiddo is back to school and I’m sooo happy to be back to routines and back to walking a half mile to school instead of driving across town for camp.
Cb says
I was feeling a bit wistful about school starting next week, but realised don’t have to pack lunch during the school year! And I think the routine of breakfast club, school, and aftercare really helps keep us all on an even keel. And yes to the exercise, my husband does the camp commute and I don’t go to campus during the summer so I feel a bit less active than I normally am.
Looking forward to getting back on my bike Wednesday AM. My husband and I always take the first day of school as annual leave, do dropoff together, and weather permitting, cycle to a really nice cafe about 6 miles away for brunch.
We do need to have a family meeting to chat through routines though.
Anon says
My husband and I went to breakfast together after dropoff!
Mary Moo Cow says
Family meeting! After reading Clementine and the Family Meeting, my older daughter made a family meeting sign that lives in a drawer near the fridge and anytime someone wants a family meeting, they put the sign on the fridge to have a meeting at dinner that night. I love a family meeting.
Anonymous says
We still have 2.5 more weeks and I have mixed feelings! Also looking forward to our daily bike ride to school instead of drive to camp, and also at this point in the summer my kids are just constantly fighting with each other and asking for snacks. So as much as I love summer and all the activities, the routine will be nice.
TheElms says
My kids don’t go back until September 3 and September 9 …
Boston Legal Eagle says
We’re back on August 28. So funny to see all these back to school things already – we still have lots of summer to go!
Clementine says
Yeah, this is always funny to me. In fairness, my kids didn’t finish school until the week before 4th of July…
Anon says
Yeah we go back super early but we get out mid-May and it’s a trade-off I’m happy to make. I’m not a summer weather fan and much prefer the weather in May and June before it gets horribly hot and humid.
Mary Moo Cow says
Yay! We have 1.5 weeks, but next week is our vacation. We’re all ready in my house, especially DH who works from home full time and has not had the house to himself for more than a few hours any given day this whole summer.
We had a better balance of camps or a more work-friendly schedule of childcare this summer, but DH asked that we book repeating weeks of camps or more full day camps next summer because, yeah, the driving across town for 2.5 hours of child care or learning a new routine for one week wore us both down.
Anon says
I know this is dependent on where you live, but this is why I’m committed to our local Y’s summer camp for the foreseeable future – it is nearby our home, and gives us the hours we need.
There are a zillion camps where we live, but so many of them require a lot of driving, in traffic, and then don’t have full coverage during typical business hours.
AwayEmily says
SAME. Our local Y camp buses from the elementary school, gives coverage from 8am – 4:30, and runs the kids ragged.
I kid you not, when I told a fellow mom that my kids were going to the YMCA camp all summer (for the third summer in a row), she was like “oh, interesting. I guess it would be easier logistically, but for us, it’s just SO much more important to broaden our kids’ horizons and give them a lot of different experiences” (she is sending her kids to theater camp, science camp, art camp, etc etc etc). I am STILL so annoyed by that comment.
Anon says
I’m Anon at 11:02 – I feel like we’ve gotten the same responses about the Y summer camp, too! I don’t get it, but good for them, not for us? Our kid BLOSSOMED with his swimming this summer at the Y (since they swim 2x/week in the onsite pool) and is now obsessed with all things swim – I think that’s pretty great!
Ours runs 7 AM-6 PM, so we really didn’t really have to shift drop-off/pick-up timing, and still loosely kept a similar wake-up/leave the house time all summer, so now going back to school next week I don’t feel like we’re starting from scratch.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Haha, posted a similar comment below. “Sure it would be easier for us parents, but why on earth would we make life easier for us?!”
Anon says
I think it’s great if your kids enjoy it, and agree that comment was annoying because there’s nothing intrinsically better about zoo camp than Y camp. In my case though my kids really dislike the Y and parks and rec camps so it’s hard to tell them to go there when we could make it work with specialty camps they much prefer.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Our Y camp has a bus pickup and drop off 5 minutes from our house. And reasonable hours – 8-4:30 out of the house. Older kid did this the entire summer last summer and it was logistically so easy. I felt pressured this summer to give him more variety, but honestly that Y camp with its specialties really has it all. Everyone around here seems to do a different camp per week, hence the pressure…
anon says
Same here. That style of camp works beautifully for the elementary years.
I’m currently in the thick of middle school and high school camps that are geared toward school activities and very specific interests. Some are option, some are not. It is difficult. At least I’ll have a driver in a couple of years?
Anon says
yeah, we were in the same boat with driving across town for 3 hours of childcare and it just didn’t work.
It sucks because half day camp and afternoons with grandma was definitely the ideal balance for my kid, but I think next summer we’re going to have to do full day camp some weeks and no camp other weeks, because the amount of driving just got to be insane.
anon says
I’m bummed that summer is ending, but I can’t wait to get back to a more normal schedule! The driving around has been particularly brutal this summer. I’m already thinking about how I can do it differently next year.
AwayEmily says
Random tip, but we talk a lot on here about ways of getting one-on-one time…for the past couple of weeks one of us has been taking my oldest (8) on a 20-minute bike ride around the neighborhood before bed. She LOVES it — she’s so chatty and happy, and comes back in the best mood. Such a simple thing, and I feel silly for not having thought of it before. And we do it after the toddler is in bed, so the parent who stays home does something fun with the 6yo.
Anon says
Bikes are magic. I honestly believe that.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I love biking with my kid. We stroll the neighborhood like a couple of bffs.
Cb says
Same… we have such good chats. And he’s fast so I’m getting good exercise and quality time. A friend who lives closer to school (5 minute walk) is very jealous of our commute (15-20 minute cycle, depending on whether there’s something interesting to see in the river). I’ll often make a bigger loop en route home so I get 5 miles in.
Anon says
Anyone have experience with play therapy to help manage kids’ anxiety? Despite our best efforts, I’m beginning to think my 7 year old would benefit from professional help.
anon says
I found the podcast Clusterflux really useful for strategies to help a child with anxiety. (not instead of therapy, but helpful for this mom who didn’t know much about anxiety to get some basic skills quickly, at my convenience).
anon says
sorry, I just checked and the podcast is actually called Flusterclux
anon says
I found the podcast Clusterflux really useful for strategies to help a child with anxiety. (not instead of therapy, but helpful for this mom who didn’t know much about anxiety to get some basic skills quickly, at my convenience).
CCLA says
Hugs from another parent of anxious 7yo. No experience with play therapy specifically, but we started regular talk therapy with a provider that also does some art therapy mixed in about 3-4 months ago and it seems to help take the edge off, they work on strategies for coping with anxiety and worry. I won’t say it’s a cure-all solution but our kiddo looks forward to going and says she is so grateful to have that time. I don’t think she’s ever going to be totally care-free and worry free but that’s not the goal. She was having crippling anxiety in March, tears about worrying about a fire or things like that, also intrusive thoughts (which I hadn’t realized until then was a manifestation of OCD). The intrusive thoughts and crippling fear have mostly gone away, she is still anxious and super shy, but we’re making progress.
Also really endorse clusterflux, think I heard about it here!. And – a little older target age group but there are some gems still on point – the Dr. Lisa podcast (maybe called Ask Dr Lisa?).
Lastly, when things got really bad in March and while we were waiting to find a provider, I ordered a bunch of CBT workbooks for kids and she devoured them. She seemed to find the idea of having something to DO about it helpful. I read through them all ahead of time and we started them together but then she just took off and would sometimes disappear to her room to do a workbook chapter on her own. Our and her favorite was What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety.
S says
Yes – ages 5 and 6. Worked wonders. Though it did start in response to a triggering event.
An.On. says
So jumping off the comment above about about letting your kids play by themselves instead of actively participating, my kid is getting old enough that this is happening more often, usually while I’m sitting right next to them or in the same room. It’s nice, because I get a little break from kidplay, but I don’t want to leave them alone to go do other things around the house (they’re 3), so now my question is – what do I do with myself? I find myself just scrolling on my phone, since I always carry it, and it’s easy to interrupt, but I don’t want to model constantly being on my phone. What do other people do?
Anon says
I read a physical book!
AwayEmily says
I read the newspaper (we get our local print newspaper delivered).
Anonymous says
I read a magazine with long-form journalism or knit or make menus and grocery lists. I don’t like to read a book if there are other people around to distract me.
Anonymous says
Fold laundry, clean up the kitchen, etc.
Mary Moo Cow says
A stash of magazines is great for this, because you can read but not get interrupted in the middle of a chapter.
CCLA says
DH and I like to do crosswords (physical books preferred, we keep a couple around for times like that). I also started using my kindle more instead of the kindle app on my phone. The kids know that the kindle is a “book” and not my phone.
Anonymous says
Ha! I asked this exact same question a couple years ago, and got some good responses. Besides what people have already said (magazines, book, chores, fun cooking project) I also picked up a cross stich kit.
Anon says
i am also trying to be better about this and I am trying to incorporate more stretching.
GCA says
Physical book, magazine*, crossword puzzles, Sudoku, solitaire with a deck of cards, watercolor or sketching (I can paint but darn if I will ever learn to knit or crochet without tangling myself in knots).
*I used to read the Economist’s business section to my infant on maternity leave. Did it help him fall asleep? No. Did it teach him to manage my retirement portfolio? Also no. Worse, nothing even stuck in my brain because I was so tired at the time. But it kept me reasonably entertained.
Anon says
Can you be in an adjacent room, or go take care of short tasks and pop your head in? I’m curious why you don’t want to leave your 3yo alone at all. My 3yo has free rein of the house, apart from my bedroom, and I do leave my kids to play alone for short spells starting at birth. I think it’s helpful for them not to feel “watched” all the time and it’s good for me to have a little time for myself/physically apart.
I don’t mean this to be judgey and I trust that you know your own kid! But I also want to give another perspective that even tiny kids are often capable of more than we give them credit for
An.On. says
Fair question! Honestly, me leaving the room will often result in them getting up and coming to look for me, and so it interrupts their play and puts me in the position of entertaining them again, so I’ll do it if I want to get something done and don’t mind them tagging along, like laundry, but not if I’m trying to relax.
But I appreciate all the advice from everyone! It’s given me the impetus to pick up a bunch of that chunky yarn to make a blanket and I’m actually very excited by the prospect, I’ve been wanting one for years but had decried the expense.
Clementine says
Currently playing musical bedrooms. Currently, Oldest is in in the one downstairs bedroom that we would like to use as an office, middle kid is a VERY light sleeper and when she’s awake wakes up others, and youngest (now 2!) has started waking up wanting to party at 2AM but otherwise is a good sleeper. Youngest two are in one large bedroom, youngest is still in a crib with a slumberpod. A bedroom is opening up upstairs – oldest has his eye on it; however, it’s. becoming clear that we need to have middle kid separate from youngest.
Do I keep oldest in the downstairs bedroom or put oldest and youngest together and then put middle in her own room? Or do I just put a pack and play in oldest’s room so youngest can get moved in there when middle is extra spicy?
Somehow, I have one kid who only sleeps well when she’s in our bed. But we don’t want that – so we’ve literally done everything. gently moving sleeping bags across the floor. Bribes. Threats. Baby monitor. Flashlights. Me sleeping on the floor and gently moving. It’s so hard because I also know that if I were to just let her sleep in my bed, everyone would get rest but we’re not doing that.
Anonymous says
Separate rooms for all three kids and put the office somewhere else. Sleep takes precedence over everything else, and kids need their own space. You have enough bedrooms for everyone to have their own.
Anon says
kids don’t NEED their own spaces. it is very common for kids to share
Anon says
+1 yeah I’m in a more rural area where most people have decent-sized houses (versus big coastal cities where it’s common to live in smaller apartments) but room-sharing is still very normal for any family with more than 2 kids and even some families with only 2 kids have the kids share.
Anonymous says
This family has enough bedrooms for each child to have their own, and 2/3 kids wake up at night. Sure, people do have kids share bedrooms, but if there’s any way to avoid it I think it’s best. I firmly believe that every person needs his or her own private space where no one else is constantly bothering them or interrupting their sleep. Think back to having a roommate in college. You never really slept because they were snoring or tossing and turning or you were on edge waiting for them to come in late or get up or you were trying so hard to be silent so you didn’t wake them up. Then think back to your childhood–didn’t you ever enjoy sitting alone in your room reading a book?
Anon says
1) I slept fine in college with a roommate — sure, people have roommate drama but 95% of people are fine with it
2) There are places in a house for a kid to be alone with a book that aren’t a private bedroom, and even in a shared bedroom each kid has some alone time in the room
3) If one or both adults regularly work from home, a home office is an important priority too, and imo it’s totally legit to have a home office even if it means the kids have to share a room. It’s not a frivolous need.
Middle Sister says
Eh, I don’t really agree but for the sleep interruption thing, I guess, assuming it’s really severe and not just an off week or full moon or whatever causing the issue. Sure, separate space is ideal but I disagree that this is a true “need” for separate space based on my own experience (caveated that if the genders of the children are the same, which they were in my case).
I shared a room with my sister 2 years older than me from my earliest memories until I was about 10. Then older sister got her own room and I shared with little sister, 2 years my junior, until I was about 16. We had a spare bedroom the whole time and this absolutely predated WFH culture (mid 90s/early 00s) so it was not a heavily used room, though dubbed “the computer room” where the family desktop resided. Would I have liked to have my own space? Sure. But I knew nothing different and it was completely fine. Only after I got my own room and we sacrificed the computer room for the third kid’s bedroom did I realize how nice it was to have my own space, but I don’t think I was shortchanged in any way by not sharing for all those years.
Clementine says
Thank you for the thoughts – Middle Sister it’s so funny you say this because husband’s experience is definitely colored by the fact that he grew up with the same experience as you. Family had 4 BR’s but one was the ‘computer room’ and he shared with older and then younger brother.
Lots of pros and cons – I think the tipping point is that middle child has started to turn on all the lights in her room and try and get youngest out of his crib to play with when she wakes up at 1/2/4AM… Not my favorite.
GCA says
Why not put oldest and youngest in the same room for the moment? It could be a year or two, and it doesn’t have to be permanent – you can change the arrangement as your family’s needs change. (We put kid 1 and kid 2 in separate rooms for similar reasons. Kid 1 is a light sleeper and early riser. Kid 2 struggles to go to bed but sleeps soundly, except the 20% of nights when she wakes up and trots down to our room to go in a sleeping bag on the floor…)
School Days says
We just got our final school calendar so I added up the days out: 28 week days out between September and June, and an additional 9 days with early dismissal. I get 8 of those days off as office holidays. I earn 15 days PTO every year: so that’s not enough to cover all the off-school days, much less summer! So I’m genuinely curious how families make this work. How do you handle the desire to have a day to yourself while the kids are at school, family vacations, and all the days out of school, with a limited bucket of PTO? It feels like a no-win game of deciding whether I want to take a day for my mental health (often suggested here as a remedy when someone is feeling burnout) or whether I want to be able to home the Wednesday before Thanksgiving with my kids.
Anon says
I think we only have about 20 planned days off, excluding major holidays, and I have 25 vacation days and a holiday break so I mainly cover school breaks with PTO. We take our family vacations most years on fall break, winter break and spring break. It sucks that our vacation schedule is dictated by school breaks but it’s the reality for most families with K-12 kids.
For teacher workdays and snow days, I don’t normally use PTO. Kiddo plays alone or with a friend while I work from home. That worked beginning in kindergarten although I do think I have a kid who’s pretty good at playing alone.
That said, I know it’s my own choice but I have not had a vacation day with my kid in childcare since she was born. I’m doing it this winter for the first time (we’re not traveling for winter break and I’m sending her to day camp for 2-3 days) and I’m very excited.
anon says
We have childcare on non-school days.
Anon says
+1
Our before and after care program offers full day coverage for the random school closures and half days. Otherwise DH and I would be working from home on those days while the kids watch their tablets or we would need to get a sitter.
Anon says
Often kid-centered places will offer camps or holiday childcare options, like the Y, kid’s gyms, nature centers, etc. Other than that, you and spouse can split the days
Anon says
YMCA camp where we are is an excellent and affordable option. That or a camp she likes is what we do. Burning a day of PTO without a strong rationale is a recipe for misery for me (or husband) and our kiddo. Saving $30/day on camp isn’t worth it.
Anon says
My kids are in the on site aftercare which is also open for school closures except federal holidays.
Anonymous says
Once they are in K they can entertain themselves quietly while a parent WFH. If you are really lucky then your after-school care facility will have full-day camps on days off. I usually take the week between Christmas and New Year’s and spring break as PTO, plus a few days at the end of the summer before school starts.
Anon says
That’s kid-dependent I think. Mine could, but a lot of friends say their kids that age can’t play alone well.
Anonymous says
A mix of vacation, camp and trading childcare with friends and neighbors. In my town the parks and rec operates full day camp for every day off school that’s not a federal holiday, so that’s the easiest option.
Clementine says
1. to reply to your vent – it’s SO HARD. I need at least a week of random days off plus childcare days plus vacations… but alas I didn’t opt to move to Europe.
2. To add detail to what everyone is saying here… We do have some family who are not super helpful but with advance planning will watch kiddos for a day or two here or there. Husband actually took the lead on this (go him!) and has a great system where we have the whole school year calendar in a shared calendar which is shared with our core group – so grandparents, the fun aunt, our regular sitter. Any days off which aren’t taken we first try to see if anyone volunteers to take a kiddo for. Second tier is we look for a camp for that day/week. Third tier is that we actively ask/pay a sitter to take kiddo if we can’t cover. We also have 4 days (parent teacher conference days) where we rotate with another couple with kids our age. So each adult has 4 kids for one day and only needs to take one of the days off. We have all this planned out way in advance so everyone knows. Because it’s a shared calendar, husband actually has alerts set up to go out a week before and then a day before so people get reminders.
I personally use a lot of half days for stuff like the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Especially if I can log on at 5/6AM and tear through some of our year end projects, then I’m only charging a couple hours. I feel like I use all the tricks and hacks (although having an au pair was AMAZING for this), but it’s still a lot.
Anon says
A small thing, but we time our summer vacation to coincide with either Memorial Day or July 4th so we save a day of PTO. I also don’t use PTO for things like the Wednesday before Thanksgiving or the day before the Christmas and New Years holiday weekends. No one in my office is getting anything done on those days.
GCA says
I rarely have the day off with childcare. Maybe one day a year? Here’s what we do for all of those school holidays:
– Look for ad hoc rec day camps for out-of-school days. (We didn’t get a spot in aftercare this year so that option is off the table.)
– Arrange playdates with other kids
– Split the workday with spouse – he handles kids in the AM, I do so in the PM. I start work very early in the AM and end early, and he starts and ends late.
Anonymous says
exactly this.
Anon says
Wait you just now got your calendar… for this year!?! We have our school calendars though May of 2026 and I’m eagerly awaiting the 26-27 calendar. My type A heart could not handle getting the calendar less than a month before school starts!
Anonymous says
Our before/aftercare program has full day care available for almost all the random school days off and early release days. The days they’re closed (Easter Monday, Thanksgiving, Election Day) are days either DH or I usually have off anyway, but we divide and conquer with PTO if not.