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When the weather gets too warm for a fleece, windbreakers are next in the outerwear lineup.
I recently bought my daughter this windbreaker from Gap Kids — she loved the pink and salmon colorblock pattern, while I liked that the shell is made from 100% recycled polyester. It also features slant pockets (my daughter has another coat without pockets and it drives her crazy), a hood for drizzly spring days, and elastic cuffs for rolling up her sleeves.
The jacket is on sale for $41 and comes in XS (4/5) to XXL (14/16). Pink and salmon not your kid’s thing? It also comes in cyan blue (navy and bright blue colorblock) and neon orange bolt (orange and gray colorblock).
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Pogo says
I had this jacket in 1994, I think.
I treated myself to new headshots yesterday for my promotion and wow, did it feel weird, but also really good, to be in professional clothes again. I am seriously looking forward to even a couple days in the office starting soon! I don’t think I appreciated how much putting on a blazer took me from “mom mode” to “work mode”.
Anon says
Congrats! And i did too. With matching pants. Whenever we flew on a plane we wore out very bright warm up suits. And that fabric is so noisy when you walk
Mm says
Book club! Has anyone read Hunt, Gather, Parent yet? What did you think?
I just started, but it’s interesting thus far. So far, I think she does a decent job of acknowledging certain sensitive points and laying a foundation for the idea that Western cultural views on parenting aren’t really based on science or tradition. Hoping for some helpful takeaways on approaching parenting (here’s one already: I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time when my child was born feeling guilty about cosleeping and trying to fix her sleeping habits because some dude decided babies must sleep in cribs!). I know there’s been some criticism of this book based on the fear that it will be interpreted to mean that women in these cultures don’t need help, which seems like it could be a fair criticism but I’m not getting that message yet.
Anon says
I haven’t read it but the reviews about how it focuses exclusively on moms and ignores fathers were kind of off-putting to me. I understand that’s how ancient societies were set up but that’s kind of the opposite of how I (and a lot of other moms I know) want to structure their families.
I’m really looking forward to Melinda Wenner Moyer’s How To Raise Kids who Aren’t A–holes, which I think is coming out this summer.
AwayEmily says
Me too! I just went to pre-order it the other day and realized I had *already* pre-ordered it.
AnonATL says
I started it but have only gotten through the first family she visits in Mexico. I think the concepts are really interesting and timely as my son is 10 months and will be in that “helpful” toddler mode before I know it. Some of it is not our parenting style, but it is interesting from an anthropology perspective regardless.
Anonymous says
I think the whole concept is classist/low-key racist. Everything she suggests is basically available in Montessori, RIE, gentle parenting, and Reggio Emilia. Some of it is covered in Achtung! Baby; Bringing Up Bebe; and There’s No Such Thing As Bad Weather. But nobody would buy a book from a white woman that points out that we already have the answers in our culture, we just don’t have the structural assistance to act on them.
Anonymous says
Wait, what? Usually the argument that “everything she suggests is basically available in [white upper-middle-class philosophies and writings]” would be decried as supporting cultural appropriation of traditional childrearing strategies.
Anonymous says
Can a white woman in San Francisco appropriate the work of a white woman in Italy?
Anonymous says
What she’s saying is that we shouldn’t look at traditional child-rearing practices because we already have the equivalent written by white women in San Francisco and Italy. What you’d usually hear from woke folks is that those white women had appropriated those ideas without attribution, so it’s better to look at the original source.
Anonymous says
Can’t reply to 11:35, but Maria Montessori was a doctor who did her own damn research.
You’d think a working mom group would at least care about attribution.
Anonymous says
Yup it’s not great for these exact reasons. It’s not anthropology it’s tourism
Anonymous says
The author isn’t an anthropologist, but she is a journalist. I took it as journalism that started with a personal interest.
Anonymous says
Most of the Western philosophies and books you describe are absolutist and mom-shaming. Bringing Up Bebe, for example–if your kid has issues it’s because you’re too uptight. Hard-core Montessori–remember the poster who wrote snooty things about the deficiencies of non-Montessori families a while back. RIE and gentle parenting–if it doesn’t work, the parent (read: mom) is doing it wrong. Going back a little further in time to attachment parenting–mom must sacrifice her personhood to be a slave to the baby.
Anonymous says
i need something to hate read at lunch — link to Montessori post pls :0
Anonymous says
I’m not saying I agree with this stuff! I’m just saying that an Inuit believing a kid is incapable of acting cruelly or needing punishment is no different than an RIE parent saying the same thing.
Montessori at home (which is different than Montessori at school) is the opposite of attachment parenting — you set up the space ND invest in the upfront much younger than other people do, but then kid can do things capably at younger age. Montessori is all about independence. That attachment parenting has wormed it’s way into everything is the problem.
Anon Lawyer says
The issue isn’t that Montessori and attachment parenting are the same – the issue is that if it doesn’t go perfectly or you don’t implement the non-science based philosophy perfectly, you’re shamed for being a bad mom and everything the kid does that isn’t perfect is your fault. (By the hardcore believers – not saying you’re doing that.)
That said, I’m sure Inuit parents also aren’t perfect, have bad days, and don’t hold all the solutions. I haven’t read this book but I would be interested in something that talks about different practices without elevating one as better than all the others.
Anonymous says
Yeah anyone who uses the word “woke” instead of “respectful consideration of other people” is probably not someone who is worth listening to.
Anonymous says
I read Bringing Up Bebe as an indictment of American society. Of COURSE moms can’t be that together or laid back if schools don’t provide good meals and teach kids to eat a variety of foods! Of course we’re all exhausted if schools don’t do week-long camping trips with Kindergarteners!
I felt vindicated as a mom by that book!
Anonymous says
I’m trying to follow (seriously, no snark!) your argument. You believe that Western child rearing philosophies developed since the Industrial Revolution (no earlier than Montessori) are all suspect because of society’s general tendency toward woman/mom shaming. This is regardless of any stated intentions of said philosophies. And therefore, non-Western philosophies, even if promoting the sand practices are inherently better because they are (supposedly, I honestly have no idea) less mom-shaming?
And therefore her book isn’t maybe-racist? Because Westerners are inherently misogynistic?
Or are we talking past each other?
Anonymous says
No, I am saying that it’s weird to call her book maybe-racist because your argument is the opposite of the usual woke argument that something is racist, and also that the European and American philosophies you cite as being everything we need are seriously deficient so maybe we should broaden our horizons.
Anon Lawyer says
I think part of what folks might be reacting to is that the title “Hunt, Gather, Parent” combined with the subject kind of hint she might be falling into a “noble savage” framework, where Indigenous cultures are portrayed as simple humans without the complexities of modern society and put on a pedestal in a way that is actually very condescending. I read the excerpt that got published elsewhere on Inuit parenting and didn’t get that vibe from it but haven’t read the whole book and am also not Native so don’t have a full perspective on that. But that is a racist fallacy that Westerners writing about Indigenous cultures often fall into.
But I don’t think the idea of examining non-Western parenting philosophies in and of itself does that, whether they’re similar to what the French did or Maria Montessori did or anything else.
Anon says
Lots of opinions for someone who doesn’t seem to have read the book.
Anon says
I didn’t like it at first but am over halfway finished and feel like I have picked up some helpful tips (and might reread some parts). My world (“Midwest urban”) doesn’t sound as judgmental as her world in SF. And I have two kids which I feel like is completely missed. Sometimes her techniques fall short when they have a direct impact on your other kid at the same time.
She is cautious at the beginning to acknowledge the noble savage trope and points out that our assumption that all Indigenous cultures are disconnected from modern society is incorrect. In Hunt Gather Parent, I feel like she’s elevating the practices of non-white cultures and helping translate them to US parents.
Anony says
My aunt kindly volunteered to babysit this weekend! It would definitely be weird to pay her, but should I be getting her a little gift? Wine? What do you do when family members babysit?
anonymommy says
I usually order whatever they want for lunch/dinner! Doesn’t add much work, and it can be simply ordering sandwiches to be delivered, but it’s a nice gesture most people will accept.
No Face says
The lunch/dinner is always appreciated, especially if it is just delivered during the babysitting.
Anon says
We don’t do anything for my parents, but they’re wealthy. If money were at all tight for them I would probably try to pay them.
Anon. says
Chocolates or a picture from the kid?
Anonymous says
We babysit for our niece and her husband, and do not expect anything beyond thanks.
anon says
Ditto. Usually BIL & SIL are going out at dinnertime, so they will cook or order us something to eat though.
Anon says
I think a thank you is enough! Know your audience, but in my experience often when people *want* to help, accepting their help and giving gratitude is enough. No need to try to even things out, so to speak.
Anonymous says
This. Also, keep in mind that your aunt may actually be looking forward to the time with kiddo.
Anonymous says
When my sister lived in the same city as us – i loved babysitting my nephew (1:1 time… getting to give him treats that I know is not “normal” – sure let’s have a cookie before dinner). I would never have dreamed of getting payment.
Jeans? says
Please recommend your favorite brand of jeans. I am struggling to find anything good. I’m looking for basically a cigarette cut-mostly fitted/skinny but not super skinny (I think), but my real issue is that everything I’ve tried stretches out terribly. They fit when I first put them on (and thus I can’t go down a size), but after a few hours of chasing kids, etc., they are bagging and falling down. I’m feeling frumpy in every pair of jeans I own, and since I wear them every day… it’s a sad scene.
AwayEmily says
I’ve liked the mid-rise Universal Thread skinny jeans from Target ($20). The higher waist means that even when they stretch a bit (and they do!), they stay up. I have them in a couple of different sizes, which I vary depending on how I’m feeling/how I want the fit to be.
Anonymous says
Ymmv. These are PERFECT on me the first couple hours and then fall down.
fallen says
madewell! incredibly flattering.
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/madewell-10-inch-high-rise-skinny-jeans-hayes-wash-regular-petite-tall-plus-size/4428107?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FJeans%20%26%20Denim&color=hayes%20wash
also looks the roadtripper in black is great, and their white jeans are really flattering too.
anne-on says
The roadtripper is my personal favorite jean for not bagging out throughout the day.
Anon says
I like Frame – expensive, but I think because the fabric is thicker they hold shape better?
Anonymous says
Out of all my jeans, the ones from Mother and Frame are least prone to stretching out and sliding down.
Anonanonanon says
Madewell Stovepipe cut jeans have been a good transition from the gen-z-hated-skinnies to a more “straight” leg. Since I’ve started wearing them, I’ve packed away my skinnies. They feel like… a nod to straight-legged jean trend? Certainly more comfortable than skinnies. They don’t “grow” like some jeans do. I did size one inch down from my usual madewell size.
Anonanonanon says
PS their online customer service is horrific and, at least in my past experience, they don’t do exchanges, they make you return and re-buy an item. I have better luck ordering online and returning at a store that has the replacement I want. Sharing to say that if there isn’t a madewell storefront near you, might be worth trying to order through Nordstrom or somewhere else that carries madewell jeans rather than straight from madewell.
Ifiknew says
Backyard party games for 4 year old? I’m having a bounce house up, but not sure what else to put out. 3 4 year Olds and 2 two year Olds. Tia!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Bubbles! At a recent birthday party, my older kid and his friends also spent a lot of time throwing around this huge inflatable ball that we got. Mini slide for the 2 year olds, if you have one (I think the Little Tykes one is pretty cheap).
anon a mouse says
Balloons – seriously, with a ratio of 2 balloons per kid or even 3, you can play keep the balloon in the air, kids will roll around to pop them, bat them back and forth, etc. Best ROI for any party favor.
DLC says
Similar to this, we got a multi pack of beach balls and matchbox cars for my kids’ party and both were big hits, and served as party favors so we didn’t have to keep them.
No Face says
I went to a toddler birthday backyard party last weekend. Kids ranged from 1-8. The big hits were a bubble machine, lots of washable paint and large paper, sidewalk chalk, and a kinetic sand.
katy says
I don’t think you need much. If you have a bounce house you might want a “quieter area” so the kids can go back and forth. For kiddos bday last year (3) we had only 1 other kid (covid), that kid’s mom and my in-laws: with a very small bounce house and the sandbox available, we never even got the bubbles out. The two kiddos sort of went back and forth (both 3 at the time).
For people without the excitement of a bounce house, i wanted to share a great bday party idea:
My son’s BFF 4th bday earlier this year (fully outside and socially distanced with 3 kiddos from the preschool class) was pirate themed. It was amazing! The parents dressed up as pirates. The mom ordered “pirate kits” on amazon and then buried each item in the snow (e.g. all the kiddos stuff in a box that they found together) – with pretty obvious clues as to where go dig next. The kids has a blast finding each of the elements (there was a compass / dagger / telescope thingy / gold coins). She have them each a “sash” and eye patch to kick it off. Kept the 3 -4 year olds busy for a while (the digging helped). and BAM – everyone goes home as a pirate.
I don’t know how i can live up to that standard for the same 4 kiddos when our guy turns 4 in a few months.
BlueAlma says
Stomp rockets
Overreacting? says
My 9 month old is in daycare and I’ve recently noticed that the give him his bottles by laying him on a boppy and handing it to him to hold himself. So no one is actually with him when he is eating. They’re in the room, obviously, so he’s not unsupervised exactly. But he’s just sitting there by himself.
His doctor said that this is less than ideal for ear infections and also just not the best practice. So I asked them to at least have someone sit with him and try to keep him upright – but then yesterday, there he was laying back on the boppy again by himself with the bottle.
I know they have more babies than people and so maybe it just isn’t feasible. Do I say something again? Let it go?
Anon for this says
FWIW, I know my daycare holds kids until 6 months for feedings… with older babies they’ll let them lounge. This seems pretty standard? Even my Independent one, who happily held their own bottle from 3 months on for feedings, had to be held for the feedings because it was their rules.
As a mom of multiple kids, I 100% let them hold their own bottles and feed themselves basically as soon as they can. I wouldn’t think twice about it unless your kid is getting really continuous, recurring ear infections as a result… and then I would have a discussion with daycare that ‘yeah, this is really an issue because of this extenuating circumstance..’
Anonymous says
I’d request a change in the seat they are using instead of having him in the bobby. At 9 months old I don’t think the self-holding the bottle is an issue but if he’s not sitting up independently, can he be sat in a Baby Bjorn rocker, a bumbo or a FP sit me up floor seat?
Anonymous says
This. I think he ought to be holding his own bottle by this age, but he needs to be sitting upright.
TheElms says
My big corporate daycare had a policy saying that babies would be held to be bottle fed. Does yours possibly have a policy? If so I would definitely raise again. Even if not, I’d raise again and try to offer some better alternatives. Could kiddo hold his bottle himself sitting on the floor in the middle of two boppies stacked like a chair? Even lying down/lounging on stacked boppies would be more upright. (This is what they did with my kid once she was starting to sit independently but still wobbly for sitting practice if they had more babies than adults).
Anonanonanon says
It’s normal for a child that age to hold his own bottle, but he shouldn’t be flat. I’d repeat your request that he be propped up. If he has a history of ear infections, I’d specifically say “the doctor discouraged us from allowing him to drink while laying flat to cut down on the number of ear infections. We’re trying to avoid the need for tubes, so please elevate his head more while he is drinking”
Anonanonanon says
Though fwiw I always counted a boppy as elevated? If their body is on the floor and their head is on the boppy, are they laying their head flat?
Anon says
+1 our ped said not flat but elevated on a Boppy was fine. That’s what we always did at home and it never caused any ear infections (and she got a bunch later on, so I don’t think it’s just that my kid has magic anti-ear infection genes).
Anon says
I switched daycares because the first one we started at was doing that. My kid was younger, though. They could at least stick the baby in a high chair to feed him so that he’s upright, right?
Anonymous says
Our old Kindercare did the boppy bottle routine as early as possible. I didn’t love it at first, but DS picked it up way faster than I would have guessed. Interestingly, when I was talking to my grandmother after DS was born, it was one of her first questions–has he started holding his own bottle? She had four kids, so basically a small daycare! I think it’s just a practical thing if you’re juggling a lot of kids, whether in a daycare or at home.
Anon says
so i have twins and admittedly did this from time to time when they were babies. sometimes they really wanted to hold their own bottle, other times i just didn’t have enough hands to help both simultaneously. I was usually sitting right there, though occasionally Id have to grab a tissue or something from across the room. Didn’t know it could lead to ear infections as my kids never got them. Granted, I do think someone should be sitting next to them
Anon says
+ My kid IS ear infection prone but they didn’t start until she went to daycare as a toddler and got the daycare germs. From 6+ months she fed herself with a bottle on a Boppy. No idea it was bad and it never caused any ear infections. I seem to recall something about kids not lying flat for feeding but a Boppy puts most babies at a significant incline. I wouldn’t worry about it personally. A baby in someone’s arms could easily be in a more flat position.
AnonATL says
Also didn’t know it could cause ear infections. Ever since my son could hold his own bottle, I regularly plop him in his high chair that reclines and let him feed himself while I do other things in the kitchen.
anon says
Also a twin parent and I did this as soon as they were able to hold their bottles independently. They were never flat, though, lying on the double boppy definitely kept their upper body elevated.
Anonymous says
Posting this on the moms board because I figured you’d have better responses – recommendations for an easy-to-use, ideally non-toxic tie-dye kit with enough supplies to make shirts for 6 adults and 2 young kids? I’ll buy the shirts separately, of course, but we want something that’s not too hard and not too chemical-y for the kids for an upcoming gathering.
Anonymous says
No recommendations for non-toxic dye, but do be sure that your shirts are 100% cotton and keep the dyed shirts in plastic bags overnight before washing to really let the dye soak in.
Mary Moo Cow says
We’ve used Tulip one step tie dye a few times. I don’t know about toxicity but it’s very easy! Powder is already in the bottle; just add water and shake and the dye is ready. It comes in tons of variety packs, even party size.
Strategy Mom says
Has anyone seen any longer-term research on MRNA technology? I am very pro-vax, but am feeling a twinge of (irrational) hesitancy about letting my kiddos have an MRNA vaccine when I haven’t seen any research on if there are any long-term side effects of that technology. I’m thinking I’d rather them take J&J since it’s a more “proven” technology. I’m trying to find something to make me feel better about it – any one have anything or any thoughts? FWIW I was first on the bandwagon for my Pfizer vax and love science and these cool innovative technologies, I just have this mom thing in the pit of my stomach that I’m working through.
Anonymous says
No article can talk you out of your irrational anxiety or it already would have
Mary Moo Cow says
FWIW, I don’t think your hesitation is irrational. I feel it too, and I, too, was fine with the Moderna vaccine for myself. I’ve heard many other parents say they’ve gotten their kids all the other recommended shots but have hesitated with this one because trials in kids are so new, and different pediatricians in our area have different recommendations. All the current data in the world probably won’t convince me but data compiled over several years probably would.
Anon says
Agree, I think it is normal worry. It is rational to worry about the risks of something there is no data for long-term, but we also have to balance it with Covid risk as well.
Anonymous says
Yep this is irrational. Sorry you’re anxious! Hope you protect your kids from covid when you can.
Anon says
This is rude.
Anon says
I agree. It’s not irrational and we don’t have to pretend we have 100% certainty about something when we don’t. There is nothing wrong about wanting information.
I’m very pro-vaccines and DH and I are fully vaccinated, fwiw.
NYCer says
+1. I feel the same. My kids have received all of their other vaccines on schedule without any hesitation from me.
Anonymous says
I am with you. My kids are not in any way high risk. They have received every other vax out there, including flu. Mine are 4-9 so can’t get it yet. If school requires it I will absolutely get it for them. But DH and I are still considering whether we want them to have an EUA vax when they are so low risk and our community (inc me and DH and our entire extended family and all their teachers) is already highly vaccinated with a very low transmission.
If they were 17, no question.
Anonymous says
I don’t understand why your calculus would be any different for a 17-year-old. If the vaccines cause cancer or something like that decades down the line, it will happen to a 17-year-old too.
Paranoia about drugs and vaccines in pregnant women and children actually increases risk if it discourages testing and evidence-based usage guidelines for these populations.
Anonymous says
I think the idea is that the virus is riskier to a 17 year old so it changes the risk-benefit analysis with respect to whether or not to vaccinate the person. I don’t agree, but I do understand the argument.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s irrational to have some concerns about a new type of vaccine that hasn’t been in wide distribution for many years. I do think it’s irrational to let those concerns prevent you from having your children vaccinated. It’s always a balancing of risks and benefits. The long-term risk of the vaccines is unknown but, based on the science, quite likely to be nonexistent. The long-term risk of COVID is substantial, and the more we learn the worse it looks.
Anonymous says
MRNA has been studied for about a decade, but nothing has been brought to market before. But it’s about to cure Malaria and will probably be the thing that cures AIDS and solid tumor cancers.
So no, there’s no population research like what you want. But it’s really about to revolutionize vaccines and other health care.
But in comparison to other vaccines: it’s the difference between hitting your TV and hoping the picture clears up and actually knowing how the TV works and taking it to a repair person. Vaccines work by “breaking” viruses then seeing if that broken virus magically walks the line between not getting you sick and provoking a good immune response. MRNA takes the instruction manual for the virus, copies out the most important paragraph, emails it to your cells. Your cells photocopy that paragraph and your body mounts an immune response to that paragraph. There’s literally no way your kids could get sick from an MRNA vaccine, because it’s not the whole virus. They could have an allergic reaction (because people have allergic reactions to proteins) and they could have a strong immune response (fever, etc.) but they can’t get sick, because there’s no virus there to get sick from.
Anonymous says
When I first heard of mRNA vaccines I was concerned that they might somehow cause DNA mutations and cancer, or that the mRNA might stick around and cause the cell to keep cranking out viral proteins with unpredictable results. After learning that the mRNA never enters the nucleus of the cell and is quickly destroyed, I feel a lot better about it.
Anonymous says
Agree with this. I’ve also heard that the reason this is the first mRNA vaccine actually out there is becuase they were able to get so many folks for trials. They’ve been developing and studying the mRNA vaccines for a long time but then hit the jackpot so to speak to have such “ideal” conditions for finally bringing one to market. And I don’t mean all the emergency use but the ability to test such huge groups in a way that you can’t, for say AIDS.
My bigger struggle with my kiddo is how horribly both DH and I reacted to our shots. He had J&J, I had Pfizer, and we both had significant but not dangerous side effects. I’m pro-vax, and I’m sure we’ll end up getting kiddo vaxxed, but my mama heart struggles with feeling like we’ll make kiddo way more miserable than she’d be if she actually had Covid. But, like I said, I’m pro-vax. And from a larger societal picture, I understand the benefits to the community, older relatives, etc.
Anonymous says
I don’t understand people’s concern about side effects. The side effects are virtually never dangerous (exception is the exceedingly rare J&J blood clots), and COVID is dangerous quite a bit of the time, even for kids. Kids are sick and miserable all the time with colds, etc. With the vaccine, at least they are getting a (gigantic) benefit in exchange for the temporary discomfort.
Anon says
You can read reports from the trials – I’m pretty sure they’ve published pretty extensive reports for the 12-15 cohort – but it seems like kids generally have an easier time with the vaccine side effects than adults do. My ped said kids are also more responsive to medicine like Tylenol so if they do have aches or spike a fever or whatever, the medicine would likely give them more relief than it gave you. Unless your kids are tiny babies you can also explain the side effects are giving them immunity “superpowers” – the kids I know are so eager to get the vaccine and get back to normal life that they wouldn’t be fazed at all by a couple days of feeling blah while they built their immunity to the virus.
Given that we don’t know the long term effects of the virus, avoiding the vaccine because you don’t want your kids to suffer with a fever for a day or two frankly seems pretty silly to me (and I’m someone who feels like I’m especially sensitive to seeing my kid sad or in pain), but to each their own.
Anon says
Fwiw, I used to feel this way too but I now want my kid to get vaccinated ASAP and am planning to beg my ped to give us the vaccine as soon as safety data comes back for my kid’s age group (without waiting for efficacy data or FDA approval).
A few things have changed my thinking. 1) A previously healthy preschooler in my county died of Covid – I realize this is anecdata but it did really make it hit home that my kid actually could die from Covid. 2) The variants (especially Brazil/India) seem to hit kids harder. The death rate for kids in Brazil is many times what it is in the US. That’s almost certainly at least in part due to their poor healthcare infrastructure but a lot of experts I trust are convinced the variants are deadlier for kids. 3) There is more data coming out about negative impacts to kids even in developed countries – there was a hospital in Ireland that announced 1 in 30 kids with Covid is hospitalized and there have been some other studies from I think Italy and one other place documenting a “long Covid” like syndrome in a significant number of kids. 4) But my biggest fear is what are the unknown long term effects of this virus even in kids who have mild or no acute illness. Monkeys who were infected with the virus all developed Lewy bodies in their brains, which cause dementia. Will that translate to humans? Unclear, but even the possibility is pretty scary to me. Serious or even fatal complications years after infection with a virus are not impossible – there’s a rare complication of measles (SSPE) that kills kids (in a truly gruesome way) about a decade after the initial infection. Of course most of our parents got measles, didn’t get this freak complication and turned out fine, and I realize Covid would likely be similar with any fatal complication being extremely rare, but it changed my view about the risk-benefit with respect to vaccines.
IMO, The best case scenario would be for all adults to get the vaccine and for society to reach herd immunity thus protecting all children from the virus without the need to give any of them a brand new vaccine. But that’s not happening and I can’t make it happen, and all I can do is vaccinate my own kids. (Don’t even get me started on the states banning schools from requiring masks 6+ months before kids under 12 are even eligible for vaccines. It’s going to kill a non-trivial number of kids.)
fallen says
I am very hesitant. I got tinnitus from the Vaccine that hasn’t gone away fully 2-months later, so I am really torn on what I am going to do about my kids, given that they are so low risk.
Anon says
I’m really sorry that happened to you but it’s really dangerous to say you got tinnitus “from” the vaccine. With 160+ million people vaccinated in the US some people are bound to develop random illnesses immediately after getting vaccinated and the timing is just coincidence. I forget the numbers but a doctor I follow published the number of strokes, heart attacks, deaths etc you’d expect in that number of people even with no impact from the vaccine and it was surprisingly (to me) huge, so unfortunately rarer things like tinnitus probably happen to quite a few people too.
fallen says
I get it, but it’s real. Went to ENT and PCP and both said they have seen several cases with onset right after vaccine, the medical explanation is your immune system reacted too strongly. Yes benefits > risks absolutely and it’s rare and I go unlucky (no one else I know personally had tinnitus, although someone I know has had vertigo since vaccine), but I am 100% sure the tinnitus was from the vaccine.
But it drives me nuts when people are like oh no this is not from the vaccine. I get the science behind what you are saying (i am a scientist myself), but no need to minimize other people’s experiences.
AnonMD says
We don’t have long term population data because they haven’t been available long term yet but the Unbiased Science Podcast recently did a very nice Facebook post that discussed how quickly MRNA vaccines degrade in the body (components range from hours to days) and is well cited.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=315492660239071&id=105461361242203&_ft_=mf_story_key.315492660239071%3Aog_action_id.530400078344157%3Atop_level_post_id.315492660239071%3Atl_objid.315492660239071%3Acontent_owner_id_new.105461361242203%3Athrowback_story_fbid.315492660239071%3Apage_id.105461361242203%3Astory_location.4%3Astory_attachment_style.photo%3Atds_flgs.3%3Aott.AX-cI9wHjBboy7UO%3Apage_insights.%7B%22105461361242203%22%3A%7B%22page_id%22%3A105461361242203%2C%22page_id_type%22%3A%22page%22%2C%22actor_id%22%3A105461361242203%2C%22dm%22%3A%7B%22isShare%22%3A0%2C%22originalPostOwnerID%22%3A0%7D%2C%22psn%22%3A%22EntStatusCreationStory%22%2C%22post_context%22%3A%7B%22object_fbtype%22%3A266%2C%22publish_time%22%3A1621517568%2C%22story_name%22%3A%22EntStatusCreationStory%22%2C%22story_fbid%22%3A%5B315492660239071%5D%7D%2C%22role%22%3A1%2C%22sl%22%3A4%2C%22targets%22%3A%5B%7B%22actor_id%22%3A105461361242203%2C%22page_id%22%3A105461361242203%2C%22post_id%22%3A315492660239071%2C%22role%22%3A1%2C%22share_id%22%3A0%7D%5D%7D%7D&__tn__=%2C%3B
Anonymous says
Somewhat relevant, this NY Times article polling epidemiologists about what is and isn’t safe for kids to do right now includes a question about whether they plan to get their kids vaccinated ASAP. More than 90% do, and some of those who are hesitant are not personally reluctant, but need to convince spouses. Perhaps more compelling is their anecdotal responses about why they feel this way, including unknown long-term consequences of COVID-19, no plausible long-term consequences to getting vaccinated, and benefits to society – the pandemic won’t end until kids are getting vaccinated. See https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/21/upshot/covid-children-advice-experts.html
I find this compelling because these people are insanely cautious in general.
Anon says
+1 my pediatrician put her 5 year old in a Covid vaccine trial which made me more confident about vaccinating my own kids, especially because they’re not in a trial and won’t be the very first kids to get it.
Professional Help? says
Has any one had a great professional coach? About 4 people in more organization (just below executive level) are being offered one; the obvious answer is it can’t possibly hurt, take the free support!
If you had a good coaching experience: how did you determine that the particular coach was right for you?
I feel like my biggest issue is that I have lost my mojo: I am just TIRED from caring for kiddo for almost a year without family support and babysitters and I am stuck at current seniority basically unless my boss leaves. For example: I want to take on more projects (lateral) in the absence of an obvious promotion because I do like the organization, but I can’t seem to find the energy to muster to make the case to do that? Can a coach help with that? If so (what I am hoping someone can help me with) – what questions would you ask in interviewing a coach to assess their ability to help with that?
FWIW, I have excellent performance reviews and am objectively good at my job.
Anon says
Having a coach really helped me because it created an accountability structure – I set goals and reported back on a regular basis. I think of you have goals but need some oomph to go after them, that structure would be really helpful.
It’s sort of like a therapist – you need to like their communication style and be open to receiving feedback that isn’t always pleasant. I’d describe why you are seeking coaching and what you think some of your challenges are and ask how they’d work with you. Again like therapists Some coaches are more proactive in telling you what they recommend and some are more there to help you process, so think about what will best help you.
OP says
Thank you. This is great framing.
CHL says
That’s great! Do you get to help select the organization? I’m on a webinar now with Daisy Dowling of Work Parent who specifically focus on working parent exec coaching. I think you can absolutely ask a coach to help you prioritize and focus on your professional motivations and goals and how you can potentially advocate and influence for resources to do those things that you want to do, delegate if that’s an issue, etc. You should be able to do a brief interview with the coach and you’ll get a sense of whether they are hip to the challenges of parenting or not so much.
OP says
I get to interview the coaches before making the decision. The organization has selected a company – and frankly I was not that impressed as it seems they focus on a lot of technical leaders (e.g. engineers moving from a technical role to something more senior). I think HR will let me keep trying until i like someone (as they think I might quit…. they are not wrong). This is a good way to frame it. Thanks.
Anonymous says
Would you let a tween who is mildly autistic work as a mother’s helper for you? There is a neighborhood girl who I though was older (but is just tall) than 12. I know the mom from a prior job. I have a 2YO and am due next month. No local family. I had wanted the girl to walk over (same block, same side of the street) to help keep the 12YO occupied for a couple of hours a day in the house and in our fenced yard. The mom asked if she could come over the first time and explained that while “Bea” should be able to help quite well and likes younger kids, she also has mild autism and may have some mannerisms that seem odd (but was supportive if I wanted to pursue it). She goes to a regular school and I understand that she is pretty smart and very good at art (so maybe she and my daughter could draw?). WWYD?
Anonymous says
Also: I just moved onto the street, so I hadn’t seen Bea since she was a much smaller child at some bring-your-kid thing years ago. And with the move, the other teen sitters are now out of driving range. Grasping at straws since we are still in COVID people avoidance mode (grandparent on one side is undergoing cancer treatment and won’t be visiting; the others would travel by plane at some point). I do know that the 12YO has had at least one COVID shot, which is fantastic. AITA if I don’t want to use her because she has autism? Or if she is able to walk a very large dog on her own and ride a bus to school, she is probably fine and just quirky?
Anonymous says
I don’t see why you wouldn’t try her out, especially with her mom’s offer to be there the first time, when you have no other good options, except prejudice against people with autism. So yes, I find that problematic.
If she can’t do the job the way you want it done, then don’t have her keep coming! I’d ask that mom present it to her as a “let’s see how this goes” thing with no guarantee it will last a long time.
I would start now before the baby arrives to see how it goes.
Anon says
Yeah you do sound a little prejudiced against people with autism, honestly. I understand why you’d have qualms about leaving your 2 year old alone with her, but I think that a lot of moms would have those same qualms about a 12 year old that’s never babysit before, autism or not.
So Anon says
Yes, this does sound biased against people with autism. As a parent of an autistic son, that people may write him off simply because of his diagnosis is heartbreaking and horrible. The saying goes that if you have met one autistic person, you have met one autistic person. The diagnosis alone tells you very little, and you do not know how it manifests, or whether it will at all in that setting. Meet her with an open mind and see how she can help, like you would with anyone else that you are asking to be a mother’s helper.
Cb says
Oof, right? My husband is autistic and the idea that he wouldn’t be a capable, loving caregiver because of that diagnosis is a bit hard to swallow.
Anonymous says
I’m giving OP the benefit of the doubt here. My hunch is she wouldn’t be making an issue over it if the girl’s mom didn’t make a big deal out of it. Now OP is probably on edge about it. It seems strange that the mom made a big deal about it. That feels like the red flag to me and not the autism on its own.
Anonymous says
I disagree, I think the girl likely has some unusual mannerisms as the mom said and the mom wanted to give OP a head’s up about it. Seems very normal and not a red flag to me.
Anon says
Yes, on the same basis as any tween. Supervise, make sure nothing is off. If it’s not working, then make a change.
Anon says
Yes, this seems like a no brainer to me. I’m not sure why odd mannerisms would be a dealbreaker in a babysitter. Even if her issues are more extensive than the mom described, you’ll be home at the time so I don’t really see any potential safety issues. Kids waaaay younger than 12 can be mother’s helpers if the mother isn’t leaving the house.
Anonymous says
Given that it sounds like you will be home the whole time, I personally wouldn’t have an issue with this set up. It is not as though you are actually asking her to make judgement calls etc. She sounds a lot like my nephew (though he is a little younger than she is). He is great with my kiddo up to a point.
My only caveat is that one of the common issues with autism is needing space and finding interactions difficult. She might not cope well if the 2 year old is literally climbing on her, for example? I know that that this is a generalization, so it is really a know the kids. It is not going to be helpful to you if you need to spend energy managing their interactions.
I would recommend framing it as a 2 – 3 time opportunity so you are not committed long-term and the child feels like she failed if you discontinue it. If it works great, you can extend. FWIW, my nephew takes “jobs” very seriously and would likely stay “on task”, so I think it could work out beautifully. (Again… i am projecting, so may not be helpful.)
anon says
I agree, just give it a try. FWIW, we had a high schooler babysit our kids, and her mom (who I know) warned us that she’s super anti-social and terrible with adults, and she is in fact terrible with adults but the kids love her. So you just have to see.
Anon Lawyer says
Yeah, rejecting her based merely on the fact that she is autistic would be jerky behavior (you know there are plenty of autistic parents too, right?). Have her and her mom come over and see how it goes; if it doesn’t go smoothly, you’re not obligated to use her again any more than you would be with any other babysitter. You’re not suggesting you drop your toddler off and leave for the weekend. You’ll be there and it’s a very low risk situation.
Anon says
Yeah it sounds like she has what used to be known as Asperger’s syndrome, which in most people really doesn’t interfere very much with their ability to function normally. And kids today are scrutinized so much more than people of our generation were. I suspect I’d be diagnosed as on the autism spectrum if I were a kid/teen today, but it wasn’t a thing (especially for girls) in the 1990s unless you were violent or flunking out of school. I live a perfectly normal life with a partner, children, friends, a job, etc.
Anonymous says
If Bea and her mother are actually into this idea, and her mother isn’t just being polite by offering to try it out with the hope that it doesn’t work out, then yes absolutely give it a try. With any 12-year-old, on or off the autism spectrum, the only way to know whether they can handle watching a young child is to try.
Anonanonanon says
Late in the day, but my brother is autistic and he is amazing with my children. It obviously varies from person to person like it does with neurotypical people, but he is incredibly patient with my children because he’s sort of always pretending to be interested/follow along in conversation anyway, so it isn’t really an extra drain on him to do it with them. Plus, he has genuine interest in the video games my son knows about.
I will say he is sometimes overly anxious with my kids or has irrational fears that one will run off (like.. when I’m right there) but it’s nothing the kids notice
Paid Family and Medical Leave - Massachusetts says
Hi Hive,
Wondering if anyone lives in Massachusetts and has been eligible for the Paid Family & Medical Leave benefits. Just found out that I’m pregnant due in November 2021 and I work for a small company so don’t want to alert “HR” just yet. Thank you in advance for any guidance.
anon says
My daughter hates getting sand in her bathing suit. Would beach shorts work better? If so, beach shorts with a top or just over a regular suit? (I tried googling this, but it turns out that sand in your c** often results from situations which I’m not worried about now).
Anonymous says
No
AwayEmily says
My daughter wears mostly boys swim trunks +rashguard on the beach for this exact reason.
Anon says
If nothing else, they are easier to clean! My kid wears a boy’s suit for all dirt+water play and has a girl’s suit for swimming pools. If girls’ board shorts were longer we’d do that.
Anon says
+1 Mine is only 3 but for now we do long-sleeved one piece swimsuit and swim trunks. Mostly for sun protection more than sand, but it works for both.
Anonymous says
Try a better-fitting swimsuit.
Anonymous says
I’d think that biker shorts would work better for this, but they’d be more annoying if wet.
Anonymous says
Search for “jammers” – they are like swim bike shorts. I discovered this because my son gets terrible crotch chafing wearing regular trunks.
Anon says
Ugh my MIL is a decent person but she really needs to read some Janet Lansbury or How to Talk So Little Kids will Listen or really just any parenting book that talks about empathizing with kids. She asked us to keep our 3 year old home from daycare today and promised to watch her. At 9:30 I heard my kid crying about how MIL spilled a cup of milk she wanted and my MIL saying in what I consider a really harsh tone “Oh COME ON…it’s just milk…get over it…it’s NO BIG DEAL” which of course escalated the crying further. I think I’m a pretty strict parent when it comes to misbehaving, but *of course* spilled milk is a big deal to little kids and how hard is it to say you’re sorry you spilled the milk and you know they’re sad?! So I went downstairs to comfort my hysterical kid, MIL disappeared and I ended up on childcare duty for two hours until DH got back from his run. Needless to say MIL won’t be “watching” kiddo again unless DH agrees to be the one on backup duty all day.
Anonymous says
Maybe I am a horrible person, but I would have left MIL to deal with the hysterical child on her own.
Anon says
I genuinely felt bad for my kid, because MIL’s tone was so harsh and unsympathetic. Not that I never lose my patience and snap at my kid, but there was a real cruelty in her voice that seemed like it could be scary to a little kid. Also it’s impossible for me to get any work done when the kid is crying anyway. I definitely wasn’t doing it as a favor to MIL.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Janet Lansbury just did an episode on how to deal with different grandparent views and behavior! Basically, it’s great that you’re trying a different approach with your kid, your kid won’t be traumatized by this b/c their relationship with primary caregivers, parents, is key, and you probably can’t change MIL at this point but you can set boundaries for yourself – i.e. maybe don’t have her watch the kid while you’re in earshot.
Anonymous says
What should I do with a broken stroller? Is the dump my only option? It’s not irreparably broken, it could potentially be fixed with a weld. But in its current state, probably not safe to use.
Anonymous says
Does your dump have a spot where you can leave potentially useful things for others to take?
Anonymous says
Post on facebook (or whatever): Free stroller for “handy-home” – this stroller needs X repair but if you are up to the task it is yours….
or are you worried about passing on an unsafe item?
Anonymous says
It’s trash
Anonymous says
I’d put it on FB marketplace for free with the description you gave. Give it a week to see if anyone wants to try to fix it. If no one does, throwit away. It might be location dependent, but in my smaller town with a lot of economic diversity, I could absolutely see someone at least trying to fix it.
Anonymous says
Is it under warranty? Some manufacturers fix strollers
Anonymous says
It is, and the company sent me a whole new one!
Hmmm says
Sometimes people take things like this on my local Buy Nothing Project page. (Though honestly if it needs welded, that meets my personal definition of irreparably broken.)
Anonymous says
I’m all for fixing things, and in fact we do some pretty elaborate things, but few people can weld. That sounds like junk. Someone might want it for parts though.
Anonymous says
Apropos of the thread above about parties, are we the only ones still not getting invited to any kid birthday parties? We haven’t received an invite to a birthday party since Before Covid. I can’t tell if the parents in our daycare are not having parties at all or (I think more likely) just choosing to keep the guest list small and my kid hasn’t made the cut for any of them. I really want to have a party with friends for my own kid this summer (we didn’t have one last summer and before that we just did family parties), but I feel like it’s really weird to invite the whole class when no one else has done that.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s weird, as long as it’s outdoors!
Anonymous says
Someone has to be the first!
AwayEmily says
Our 5yo just got invited to a party in June at Skyzone. I was honestly gobsmacked. Yes, things are getting better in our area, but they are getting unmasked-outdoor-party better, not SKYZONE-better!
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t have agreed to a party a Skyzone even before the pandemic! So dangerous.
Anon says
I think trampolines are a much bigger risk to kids than Covid and would be more likely to decline for that reason, even though I’m pretty cautious about Covid. If I lived somewhere sane where people wore masks I’d be fine with an indoor party at a playplace or museum or something like that, assuming the kids eat in a separate area away from the public. I figure everyone at daycare is in our germ bubble anyway, so it’s just exposure to the public that concerns me.
Unfortunately I live in a very anti-mask red state so we’re pretty much restricting ourselves to outdoor activities until vaccines for kids show up. It’s full-on party like it’s 2019 here. We went to get takeout the other day and the wait staff at the restaurant weren’t even masked. That blew us away. I know businesses don’t want to fight their anti-mask customers, but I thought they’d keep masks in place for staff for much longer.
Anon says
when were the other birthdays? People are just getting vaccinated/in many areas of the country it’s has been too cold to be outside so maybe people were erring on the side of caution. that being said, my 3 year old was very happy with balloons and cake just with family
SC says
We haven’t been invited to any class birthday parties this year, even though Kiddo was in school in-person all year. The only birthday parties we’ve been to are family-only parties for nieces and nephews, which started this spring after adults were getting vaccinated, and even those have been mostly outdoors.
Anon says
We haven’t been invited to any. A lot of people I know seem to be inviting a couple neighbor friends or the parents’ friends’ kids over, and not doing a big thing with daycare classmates. We don’t have local friends with kids and we don’t know any of our neighbors, so the only “friends” my 3 year old has are her daycare classmates. I’m hoping that when we move to our new classroom in August we can set up playdates and actually get to know some other families. We held off on trying to set up playdates for a long time for Covid reasons and now it doesn’t seem worth it since she’ll be with all new kids in a few months. Her birthday is also in January, which is another headache. I guess if kids are vaccinated by then, maybe we can have a normal indoor party. Otherwise maybe we’ll rent the ice rink out?
Katala says
We’ve gotten a couple of all-class invites but we’re not comfortable with that yet. One was maybe 1.5-2 months ago and at an indoor play place of some sort. I was honestly pretty shocked, but I shouldn’t have been since people around here aren’t taking covid very seriously. Which is a reason we’re not comfortable with all class parties yet. Maybe next year.
anonymommy says
I just found out today that we are officially working from home forever now (attorney at small law firm downsizing to an office for office manager/mail only; we will all be WFH).
I’m happy overall and have the space for a dedicated home office. But, it’s a strange adjustment to think of this as permanent and full time WFH, as I was kind of planning to eventually go back 1 or 2 days a week. I’ll have occasional hearings/court dates/client meetings, but not a lot.
Any long-term WFH people have tips or suggestions?