CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 1, 2022 179 Comments · by

Accessory Tuesday: Recycled Cashmere Blend Fingerless Gloves

Recent Recs

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A pair of bright blue fingerless gloves

I have a hard time using my phone with gloves. Even with touchscreen-compatible gloves, my phone becomes a useless box. So, I’ve become a fan of fingerless gloves like these from Nordstrom.

These soft gloves are made from a blend of recycled and new cashmere and come in a rainbow of colors ranging from bright to neutral. Keep a pair in each coat pocket to warm your hands and keep your phone handy.

These recycled cashmere blend fingerless gloves are $49.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

Comments

  1. Gift Idea? says

    What shoes are 12-year old boys into these days? Looking for an Xmas gift for my nephew. Range is $60-70. Other gift ideas welcome – DH says shoes is an odd gift choice if we don’t know what he would like. His sister already requested a bunch of clothes from Shein which makes things easy, but nephew isn’t asking for anything in particular. He likes cross country, soccer and plays the trumpet.

    • AIMS says

      Maybe a cool soccer jersey if you know who he likes? But this kind of thing tends to be very specific so make sure you get the team/player right. Something related to the World Cup (happening this winter) could also work.

    • Anonymous says

      I would not buy shoes unless you know for sure what he wants, and $60-70 will not get you anything he doesn’t already have anyway.

      Shein is the worst offender in the entire fast fashion world.

      Kids this age like cash.

      • Anon says

        +1 After years of agonizing over what to get tweens/teens, everyone is getting cash in a card this year (but like $20 because there are 17 grandkids on DH’s side alone, lol. I wish gift-giving wasn’t his family’s love language and we could do secret Santa…but that’s another thread topic)

        • anon says

          Preach. Once you head into the tween/teen years, it is TOUGH. All of DH’s relatives are asking me for ideas for my middle schooler, and IDK! He doesn’t want much and doesn’t have a bunch of hobbies that require equipment. He even told me, “Mom, I don’t even know what I like right now!” It’s just … stressful. I also wish they’d value quality over quantity but that’s another rant.

    • anon says

      This is a really hard age. (I also have a 12-year-old boy.) I would hesitate to buy any shoe or clothing item that they haven’t asked for because tastes and styles get VERY specific at this age. What about a smartwatch? You don’t need to go into Apple watch territory, but there are some decent knockoffs in the $60-70 range. Or ask his mom what style of shoes he’s wearing now and buy the next size up, if you’re wanting to do the shoe thing.

    • Anonymous says

      I would not do shoes unless you know he wants some specific shoes. Is he into video games? If so is there a new game you could get him, or a gift certificate to his favorite gaming platform? Tickets to a soccer game?

    • Anonymous says

      AHhhhhhh please do not buy from Shein!!! Their labor and environmental practices are HORRENDOUS

    • Anon says

      I got my 12-yo nephew Robux, at his request. Still not exactly sure what that is.

  2. Bedtime songs says

    What songs (if any) do you sing to/with your kids before bed? Looking for inspiration as I feel we sing the same ones over and over…

    • Anon says

      This is such a sweet question. I’m curious to see the responses.
      I sing a very short/quick version of “Goodnight My Someone” from the Music Man. My mother use to sing it to me as a child.

      • AwayEmily says

        this is what I do, too! Except with their name subbed in for “someone.”

    • Anonymous says

      My husband does an elaborate rendition of Do Re Mi from the Sound of Music. I stick with Baby Beluga or Goodnight My Someone. Recently my kid (3) requested a song about a rocket, so I’m going to have to do some research…

        • Anonymous says

          Definitely Rocket Man. This is fun. One of my kids liked to name random things he wanted a song about, and I would sing the first thing that came to my head. If I was lazy, I’d just do A Yodeler Went Yodeling and the yodeler would encounter the random Thing of the Day

    • anon says

      I use Raffi for inspiration, Baby Beluga and 5 little speckled frogs are our current top hits. My 2 year old loves anything we can do some hand motions for – like wheels on the bus, for speckled frogs we count fingers, etc..

    • Anonymous says

      We rotate through Forever Young by Bob Dylan, Goodnight and My Cup Runneth Over from I Do! I Do!, and Tender Shepherd from Peter Pan.

    • Anon says

      I sing “A Million Dreams” and have since our daughter was a newborn (she’s 2 now). We sing after stories and before I put her in her crib.

    • Lyssa says

      My kids are probably older than yours, but they landed on a very specific routine at around age 4, which continues to this day. Daughter (7) gets Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, You are My Sunshine, The W Butterfly Song (made up years ago, because her name starts with W and she has butterflies in the wall – I actually think it’s sort of pretty, though), and I’m Getting Nuttin’ For Christmas (yes, all year. She loves that one for some reason.)

      Son (9) gets Rock a By Baby, Let It Snow (again, all year, don’t know why), Twinkle Twinkle, and Hush Little Baby, which he still loves. So, mostly classics.

      BTW, for anyone with a baby, I found that the 12 Days of Christmas was the absolute perfect song for rocking a baby to sleep -anything shorter, and I was too tempted to call it done and put them down too soon. That one was the ideal length.

    • Anon says

      Before my child realized I was a terrible singer, it was all of the patriotic grade school songs, which are the only ones I know by memory. America the Beautiful, My Country Tis of Thee, This Land is Your Land, our state song, and an old Garth Brooks ballad.

    • anonM says

      I don’t necessarily sing these, but do play them on my phone. Celine Dion – Miracle (daycare uses it in the infant room for naps, and DD loved track 6). Daniel Tiger – Count Down to Calm Down.

    • GCA says

      Leaving on a Jet Plane (until kid was like ‘mommy I don’t want that, that’s a sad song’), Puff the Magic Dragon, and Goodnight Little Arlo. Apparently my bedtime music taste is mid-century folk.

      • Anonymous says

        LOL, I commented below, and I was thinking the same thing. We also got into 60s protest music when she was a colicky newborn – seemed fitting when she was waving her angry fists around and busting out of the swaddle.

    • Anonymous says

      Puff the Magic Dragon is like Kryptonite for my 2-year-old and has been since she was a colicky newborn. We also do You are my Sunshine, Shenandoah, and Go Slow and Hushabye (both Okee Dokee Brothers).

    • Anonymous says

      The Elizabeth Mitchell records You Are My Little Bird and You Are My Sunshine are fantastic sources for bedtime songs. She turns pretty much every song into a lullaby. It’s hypnotic.

    • Anon says

      I love older folk songs for this! And, Tora Lora because that’s what my grandmother always sang so its sentimental.

    • Anon says

      My 3.5 year old has a medley. One verse only for each: Itsy Bitsy Spider, Are you sleeping, Wheels on the Bus, Old MacDonald, ABCs, Jesus Loves Me, Row Row Row Your Boat, You are my sunshine, and lately, the Come Little Children from Hocus Pocus because she’s obsessed (kinda morbid I know, but it’s a nice tune and she doesn’t understand why it’s morbid).

    • Spirograph says

      My kids have outgrown my singing, but former favorites:
      Baby Beluga
      Maresey doats
      Do Re Mi
      My Favorite Things
      One Banana (from Sesame Street)

      • Spirograph says

        Oops, I forgot “I’m being swallowed by a boa constrictor” (not the best calm-down song, but my kids loved it)

      • Seafinch says

        My daughter’s name is Theodosia so we sing this! Loudly along with Google and not at night but it gets lots of airtime.

    • Anon says

      This would seriously out me, but we make up different lyrics to existing songs. Spoofs on Young, Wild, and Free, Sweet Caroline, and Just a Friend (Biz Markie).

    • Anon says

      The City of New Orleans
      My Bebe (said in Moira Rose’s voice) is too young to understand but likes the tune.

      • Anonymous says

        I also do City of New Orleans! This is an oddly specific but oddly satisfying club to be in.

    • Anon says

      I’m required to do Soft Kitty from the Big Bang Theory somewhere between 3 and 7 times before I’m allowed to leave. :-(

      • Spirograph says

        lol, this is great taste in music. Do you have to do it in a round? My kids went through a phase where we had to sing Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree as a round, successfully, before I could leave.

    • EJF says

      Moon Moon Moon by laurie berkner
      Daniel Tiger goodnight song (using my kid’s name)
      Twinkle Twinkle
      Baby Bumblebee

    • OP says

      OP here – thanks everyone :)
      I’ll add our standards to the list in case anyone else wants more inspiration: Do Re Mi, Adelweiss, My Favorite Things (Sound of Music), Bushel and a Peck (Guys and Dolls), Somewhere over the rainbow (Wizzard of Oz), Simple Gifts (folk song), Stay Awake (Mary Poppins)

    • Anon says

      I tend to do songs I can remember the lyrics. I have repeatedly sung, “Where have all the flowers gone,” “Edelweiss,” and the song from Jesus Christ Superstar “Everything’s Alright.”

      • Anonymous says

        oooh, good one. my kids have graduated to a playlist of “nighttime songs” rather than me singing to each of them, and I’m adding Where Have All the Flowers Gone right now. (Edelweiss is already on there)

    • Anonymous says

      Goodnight my Angel (Billy Joel) and Silent Night (year round) are good calming ones for my littles

    • Seafinch says

      Standards are: The Whistling Gypsy, I’ve been working on the Railway, My Wild Irish Rose, Too-rah-loo-rah-loorah (That’s an Irish Lullaby) (These are all third generation hand me downs from my grandparents).

      Special guest appearances by: Sonny’s Dream (when Dad is deployed which is the saddest thing in the world when your four year old asks for it because she misses him), Super Trooper, sung with ‘Rupert” replacing Trooper because his big sister insisted and it stuck.

      Dad ‘s parents never sang to him and he only knows and only sings one song; his regimental medly , “Has Anyone Seen the Colonel” which is three songs spliced together. Has Anyone Seen the Colonel, Mademoiselle from Armentieres, and Tippery.

  3. anon says

    I’m listening to some childless coworkers chat about their trick-or-treater experiences last night, and OMG, I am having a hard time staying quiet. You literally know nothing about these kids or these parents or why they may be acting slightly feral. And honestly, none of the examples were egregious at all. They’re just … kids who are learning. You really are the BEST parent in the world until you have kids of your own! The amount of judgment that is being heaped on these parents is setting my teeth on edge.

    • Anonymous says

      What were the kids doing wrong? We had trick or treaters for the first time last night (first year in a suburb) and everyone seemed fine! Several of them asked how many pieces of candy they could take before diving into the bowl, and most of them said thank you. I found the whole experience delightful.

      • anon says

        Kids taking too many pieces of candy was the prime complaint. So … tell them to take one?

        • Anon says

          Yeah that’s pretty easy to stop… when I answer the door I just say you can take 2 so there’s no issue.

          I do hate when kids empty the entire full bowl at unattended houses because that’s just ruining the fun for the next kids! And it’s unnecessarily greedy.

          • Hmmm says

            We actually left a big bowl of candy unattended for a long period of time in our very busy trick-or-treating neighborhood and was shocked to find this had not happened at all! My husband was sure someone would just dump it in their bag, but they did not.

          • Anonymous says

            Taking the whole bowl is a parent problem, not a kid problem. Tell your kids to take one piece! And if they’re old enough to be out without a parent, they are old enough to know better.

        • Anonymous says

          Or just hand them one piece? Most kids in my neighborhood just hold their bags open near the bowl.

    • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

      This internet stranger encourages you to say something. You are actually the SME here!

      Counter-perspective: My single, child-free, very helpful/kind BFF comes trick-or-treating with us (going on year 3) and I’m always reminded how although we’re the same age and BFFs for 20+ years, since she’s not a parent there are just things she doesn’t know without me explicitly telling her. Just like I don’t know what it’s like to be ~40, single, and childfree in 2022, and she has to tell me.

      • Anonymous says

        Counterpoint: I wouldn’t say anything. A close friend who wants to hear your perspective is very different from colleagues who are just making conversation. I think you will come off a little smug or condescending. If they said something to me directly I’d probably say “oh my kids have done much worse. Most parents are trying their best!” And move on.

      • anon says

        Eh, I’m not going to bother. They don’t want to be scolded by Office Mom. One is vehement in her opposition to having kids, so I don’t see it going over well.

    • Anon says

      It’s Halloween, don’t most kids act slightly feral? You get to run around the neighborhood, after dark, in a fun costume, and eat tons of candy … on a school night! It’s the perfect recipe (and outlet) for crazy kids.

      Obviously it’s different if kids are being destructive or rude, but if they’re just hyped up and a little crazy? That’s what Halloween is for!

      And don’t get me started about the folks who are grumpy about teenagers trick or treating! If they want to hold on to their youth and have fun, great! And it’s a way better use of their time than drinking or partying.

    • Anon says

      I trick or treated then swapped with a family member to hand out halfway through. I will say I was pleasantly surprised about how polite all the kids were. I often show up at the bus stop so at least they recognize me (not sure if that helps or hurts the effort). Also the first time I was addressed as “Little Anon’s Mom” by someone which was weird to me from a self-identity perspective. I had only one kid grabbing fistfuls out of the bowl and he appeared to be under 3, so not unexpected, and the vast majority were polite, not running each other over, not cutting across my yard, and said thank you. I drill into my kid that she has to say happy halloween, trick or treat and thank you every single time, wait her turn patiently, and that she has to walk on the driveway and sidewalk and not cut across yards even if some of the other kids do, but that’s not different from my everyday expectations for her when interacting with adults who are not our family members.

    • anonchicago says

      This was my first year in a house and having trick or treaters, so I may be one of those coworkers. And lest you hate me as a non-parent, we have a baby on the way :)

      Kids in my neighborhood were good about taking one piece of candy, but both DH and I were surprised at the shyness of kids. A few groups of kids just rang the doorbell and stared at us without saying anything. For some little kids, parents were behind them saying “say trick or treat” or “say thank you”. After a few groups of kids just staring at us and me saying “happy Halloween” and commenting on their costumes, DH said “what do you say” to a group of kids that stared at him. I thought it was kinda funny but could also be a complaint of non-parents, lol.

      • Former shy kid says

        That seems completely normal and like a really silly thing to complain about! Just say happy Halloween, I like your costumes, and give them candy.

        • NYCer says

          Wow, no kidding. This is 100% normal. anonchicago, I am sorry, not every three year old kid is going to march right up to a stranger’s front door and loudly proclaim “trick or treat” or “thank you” without prompting from a parent.

          • Anonymous says

            Proudly the person who very kindly prompts silent kids with “I need some Halloween magic words.” Gotta reinforce those lessons parents are teaching!

          • Anon says

            Ughhh no. You have no idea what lessons their parents are trying to teach! Yes, many of us with neurotypical kids encourage them to say “trick or treat” and “thank you.” But there are kids who are nonverbal or autistic or have social anxiety and for them the goals may not be the same. Just ringing the doorbell or saying a small part of the normal script may be a win for those kids. This is such an ableist perspective and I say that as someone who has apparently neurotypical, developmentally typical kids.

      • Anon says

        ooooh baby on the way, just be prepared that this may be your kids. We have modeled speaking to strangers for years and years and my kids still have problems with it. Remember this is a covid generation. I promise you those parents have told their kids to say happy halloween approximately two million times. They also have carefully coached them on eye contact since birth.

        • Anonymous says

          +1 to covid generation, but I thought the kids last night were MUCH less feral than they were in 2021.

          • Anonymous says

            I thought they were much less feral last night than they were in 2019.

          • Anonymous says

            In 2019 we had snow. Harder to be feral when you’ve got a snowsuit and boots on under your costume and you can barely move, lol!

        • GCA says

          +1 both to Covid generation but also completely normal. +1 zillion to coaching them and modeling speaking to strangers basically since they were tiny. Baby on the way, welcome to parenting. Things like please and thank you take a long time to stick, and it’s not for want of parenting.

      • Anon says

        My kid has selective mutism and we are working at home, school, and with a specialist to get her comfortable to talk to people outside of her family. She has never said trick or treat before, but said thank you loud and clear at most of the houses we visited last night. my husband and I were in happy tears afterward at the progress she made. Just to give perspective.

      • anon says

        I went with my 7-year-old, who is neurodivergent, a 4-year-old, and a 2-year-old last night.
        – My 7-year-old was really, really overwhelmed before we left the house and barely made it trick or treating. We actually got to the first house, and he was so nervous, we turned around and went home. We went through the routine–“trick or treat,” take one piece of candy, and “thank you” several times before we left. Despite all that, he definitely went up to several houses and stood there silently until we reminded him to say “trick or treat” and “thank you,” and we probably missed the reminder at a few houses. He improved as he got going, and he did make eye contact when he said “thank you,” which was big for him.
        – The 4-year-old was terrified by many of the Halloween decorations, and it made her really shy for the first part of the night, even at the houses that weren’t scary.
        – The 2-year-old had to be reminded to say “thank you,” and then to say it loud enough her parents could hear. All normal, but then she got tired of being told what to do. At her last house, when her parents told her to say “thank you,” she screamed “NO,” and then absolutely refused. The adults handing out candy chuckled graciously, and we walked home after that. The bigger kids hit a few more houses on the way home, but she was just done.

        All this to say, you never know what kids are going through, where they are in their evening, etc. Trick or treating is a really bizarre series of social interactions, on top of lots of stimulation, and it’s not something you can easily prepare kids for.

      • Anon says

        My 4 year old isn’t what I’d call shy but we had to coach her on what to say for at least the first 15-20 houses. This isn’t something little kids are familiar with. She’s done it exactly once before, an entire year ago, and kids her age don’t remember the details of what happened a year ago.
        You really are the perfect parent until you have kids. 🙄

      • Cb says

        In Scotland, you have to have a trick or they’ll give you a hard time, so we had to workshop a joke before we went out. My son was getting good by house 10.

      • Anon says

        You have some very high standards for kids who are still just coming out of COVID times.

      • Anonymous says

        I think is also completely normal, and also something I prompt both kids at the door and my own kids on, with mixed success for both! I honestly care less about the “thank you” than I do about wanting the trick or treat greeting, haha. Last night with my own kids (6 and 4) it started to become a joke with the other parents I was with about how much we all yelled “SAY THANK YOU”. Kids are in the zone! They’re on a mission!

        • Anon says

          My 4 year old was good about trick or treat but she got distracted by the candy and would normally inspect it (“is this chocolate?”) before/instead of saying thank you. The other parents thought it was hilarious but DH and I were less amused.

      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        Yeah, this is totally normal, and especially after two years of Covid trick or treating where kids just got candy from a table. They literally don’t know any different, especially if they are under 6 or 7. We prompted my kids pretty much the entire night last night.

        • Anon says

          Some people still had Covid-era setups (like candy hanging from trees) in our neighborhood. Just for fun, I assume. Also even in normal times many people just leave a bowl out (that’s what we do so we can take our own kids trick or treating). It’s confusing for little kids when the setup is different at every house!

      • Anonymous says

        We attempted to practice with our three year old. He definitely said “HAPPY HANUKKAH!!!” a few times. Most of the time he just said “Happy trick or treat!”

    • DLC says

      I was thinking last night what a strange ritual trick or treating is… particularly for kids post COVID… after two years of distancing and masks and “don’t interact with strangers” and “stay in your bubble”, and “don’t share food”, it’s no wonder that young kids who haven’t gone trick or treating in years (or ever) are a little shy or overwhelmed or even excited by the whole “pretend to be someone else, say trick or treat, and this person gives you free candy” thing. I love Halloween, but I can see how it can bring out a panoply of behavior.

  4. anon says

    Gift ideas for a 6 year old boy? He loves characters, playing dress up and trucks. He has all of that stuff. I am an out of state aunt and want to send something super fun, maybe even an experience with a “thing.” Budget is up to $100.

    • Anonymous says

      Where is he? That might help with recommendations for an experience gift. A lot of zoos will do animal meet and greets that might be fun.

    • Anon says

      When mine was 6, he would have loved: scooter / helmet, flippers and scuba googles if he’s into swimming, remote control cars / trucks, costumes for dress up (todays a great day to shop and find deeply discounted costumes!), tattoo markers, air clay, perler beads, or those super fancy hardcover illustrated Harry Potter books (a little young for the stories, but the drawings are beautiful and he’ll be into the stories soon enough).

  5. Pediatrician question says

    How much time does your pediatrician spend with you during appointments?

    We had our 2 year old checkup yesterday and it just felt rushed. Saw the nurse (new, not good bedside manner with young children) for all the measurements, and then maybe had 4 minutes with the doctor when he came in. Looked at ears, nose, mouth, eyes, examined abdomen and opened front of diaper to give a 2 second glance and that was about it. Asked if she’s drinking milk/eating dairy, if she’s eating vegetables, if she’s in school yet. That was it.

    Maybe I’m thrown off because she’s our first child and so I always google what to expect at X age dr’s appointment and so I was expecting more questions about her diet, her screen time, car seat and sleep set-up, potty training, etc., but we got none of those.

    Am I off base in thinking we need to switch to someone more involved?

    To be clear – I’m not actually concerned about anything in her behavior or development. I just feel like it was a perfunctory check of a handful of things and not very whole-child, if that makes sense.

    But ultimately, as a first time mom, I have no frame of reference, so maybe this is normal?

    • Anon says

      I usually spend 15-20 minutes with our pediatrician for a well-check. One of the things I like about our family practice is that I feel like they actually get to know you.

    • Anonymous says

      We usually get 10 minutes of our very enthusiastic pediatrician monologuing at high speed about some topic she’s latched onto–when it’s safe for kiddo to ride in the front seat, eating habits, school, etc. Her kids are a couple of years older than mine so I usually get some useful practical information out of these monologues.

      • EDAnon says

        Oh ours is the same! I love her. She’s fine with me interrupting if I have specific questions.

    • Anonymous says

      Our pediatrician spends about 5 minutes with us, but that doesn’t mean she’s not thorough or engaged. She lives in the neighborhood and she definitely knows who we are — greets my daughter by name every time she sees us, which is often, because her kid is a year ahead at the same school. She knows the names of all the other kids we know who see her, too. She’s like a neighborhood celebrity for little kids, it’s adorable. We’re had slightly longer appointments when we had an actual concern or when we told her we were getting divorced and she took a few minutes to speak to us and to our daughter separately. Are you getting all your questions answered? I don’t think our pediatrician brought up potty training until 2.5 or 3 years, I can’t remember, and we’ve never discussed car seats.

    • FVNC says

      We have lived in several different states since having kids, and consequently have had numerous pediatricians. The two I liked the best spent lots of time with kids (15-20 min). The first was part of a large-ish practice and constantly running behind because of it. I loved him so much we were willing to wait 30 min to see him, but our daughter was a newborn and then had some special needs as a toddler that he 100% supported us with. The second was a solo practitioner, just him and his nurse, and so he controlled his schedule and number of patients. Fantastic experience. The others, including our current doctor, have been part of large practices and spend anywhere from 5-10 min with us; we now have healthy, neurotypical kids without special needs, so there’s not really much to say. It’s really personal preference, but it does take some work to find the doctors who will spend lots of time with you (and sometimes there are trade-offs, like long waits).

    • Anon says

      I’d say four minutes is pretty normal for my healthy neurotypical children unless I come in with questions. We’ve certainly never had them discuss car seats or screen time with us! They do have a question about screen time on the questionnaire. If we have questions on those topics we need to raise them ourselves – I think that they’ll be more involved if you ask those questions? I tend to like the efficient approach because honestly I can read the car seat guidance and screen time and such. Don’t really need to ask the pediatrician any of that. I think our pediatrician tends to respect the parents ability to parent and I’d probably be thrown off if they wanted to talk about some of those other topics truthfully (we also have four kids so we appreciate efficiency!)

    • anonM says

      I think a lot of this is preference/kid needs. Our practice has a few doctors, and now I only schedule with the dr I like. My fav will sometimes take awhile because we chat, but she is thorough. On the other hand, though, there are two peds I won’t see anymore becuase they take SO long and err on the side of caution so much that we’ve ended up going for some really unnecessary tests, etc. They’re not bad drs, just not the right fit for us. In fact, if my kids did have some kind of special medical issue or needs, that type of Dr could be great. We’ve always had nurses doing the more intensive questionaires. One option some of my friends love is the PT or NP. I’m not sure if they tend to have to see less patients per day or something, but it seems like you get more one-on-one time with them.

      • AwayEmily says

        Yup, I think it’s a lot about fit. We tried a bunch of different pediatricians in our practice til we landed on one we liked. I did NOT like the monologuer, the too-many-tests person, or the one who made gender-based generalizations. We ended up with one who has a very laid-back approach — is willing to wait and see if ear infections resolve themselves, will give really specific information about what to look for if we are worried, and trusts our judgment. He also happens to have four young kids of his own, which I think helps. The NP is great too.

    • Anonymous says

      I’m not even sure what purpose well child visits serve. Our pediatrician will not discuss any concerns or refill routine meds during well child visits; parents are required to make a separate appointment for each question or concern so that the practice can bill separately for each one. Aside from vaccinations and simple hearing/vision screenings, I think well child visits are a scam.

    • Lily says

      For wellness checks, I’d say we get anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes, sometimes driven by how many questions we have (she always asks what questions we have after she goes through her checklist). She never seems rushed, which I love. The nurses all have pretty good bedside manner. For sick visits, the visit may be more like 5-10 mins long; they can usually get us in same-day if kid is really sick.

      4 minutes seems like malpractice, honestly. I’d switch practices.

    • A says

      Agreed that 4 minutes isn’t long enough. We go to a small peds practice that’s really great. The doctor knows and remembers both of my kids well and spends probably 20ish minutes with us each checkup, which have thankfully been uneventful for the most part. I feel like the staff takes me seriously and talks through any concerns I have, but also doesn’t overreact.

    • Anonymous says

      At our large HMO all the car seat / general safety / general diet stuff and explanation of basic milestones is covered by a handout unless you have concerns. At some but not all visits there is a developmental questionnaire. I’d say we have usually 10 min with the doctor- short physical check up, questions for parent, questions for kid if kid is able to answer. I’ve actually never discussed potty training with a pediatrician, and my kids are both potty trained! I’m sure we could have if we had questions. I really like ours’s approach though which is pretty hands off if things are generally normal. He’s responsive to concerns for sure but not going to barge in with opinions if things are going fine.

    • Anon says

      5-10 minutes. It always felt rushed to me too. Also as my kid got older I wasn’t really keen to discuss behavioral concerns in front of her, but I wasn’t going to go to the trouble and cost of setting up a separate appointment. So I found ped appts fairly useless.

    • Anonymous says

      I think this is normal AND it’s ok to want to switch providers to someone who spends more time with you and your kid.

    • anonn says

      we’ve always used a family doc, small private practice and she spends about 20 minutes with us for well-visits.

  6. Anonymous says

    Is it rude to give the same gift at multiple birthday parties? We have several coming up, all kids in DS’s preschool class. I’m tempted to pick a couple games and buy 2-3 copies of each, then dole out as needed. But is that weird?

      • NYCer says

        And just to clarify, I mean it is definitely not weird! Not that you definitely should not do that.

    • Anon says

      I don’t think anyone would even know to be honest. We’ve only been to a few preschool parties but gifts were not opened at them.

      • Anon says

        +1 I’ve never been to a preschool party where gifts were opened. Currently fighting my mom on this for my own kid’s party, because she insists it’s extremely rude. But it’s what people do now!

    • Not weird at all says

      I hope not, because I pretty much give the same gift for all kid birthday parties. They never open it at the party so my assumption is they don’t know.

      My son was upset he didn’t get this particular gift for his birthday though! He thought it was standard for all birthdays and I had no idea he wanted it.

    • anon says

      Nope, I do this! I don’t think anyone is comparing gifts (in our circle gifts are not opened at the party).

    • Anonymous says

      I did this all the time when the kids were smaller. Most of my kid’s friends have birthdays within 4 months of each other, so at the beginning of “birthday season” I would pick the gift and buy as many as I thought we needed — I usually ordered a craft kit and a book from our local independent bookstore and asked them to wrap each one with a gift receipt. Now that my kid is in mid-elementary she actually wants to pick out the gifts and it’s so much more work for me :)

    • NLD in NYC says

      Nope, not weird. This is the way… especially if you’re a Lazy Genius fan. You have decided once. Brava!

    • octagon says

      Not weird at all. And with all the holiday sales coming up, smart to plan ahead! I usually have 3-4 small games and 3-4 craft kits on hand and then let my kid “shop” the gift bin to pick one for a recipient.
      Also, re-sharing a great tip I got here – Am*zon sells multipacks of kid birthday cards, go ahead and buy those now so you are prepared. If you want to shop small, I’ve found some cute sets on Etsy as well.

  7. Anon says

    Any recommendations for a cream/ointment to reduce scarring from a very large elbow scrape? Not looking for something with really harsh chemicals or fragrances, but if there’s something with semi-decent ingredients that actually works, that’s what we need!

    • AIMS says

      Earth Mama makes a scar and scrape ointment. It has good reviews. I haven’t tried it but I love all their other products.

  8. EDAnon says

    How long can you reasonably board a dog? We are planning to travel for 2 weeks at Christmas. We have a nice boarding place we use. But 2 weeks seems like too long. Should we try to find a pet sitter at the house? How does one do that? My only local family is my sister and she has an aggressive dog so she cannot help. I am new to having a dog (the dog is 1).
    When I was a kid, someone would come over a couple times per day and let the dog out. Is that still done? We have some teenage neighbors who might be up for it.

    • Anonforthis says

      Please please please don’t have the neighborhood kids take care of your dog for 2 weeks. I guarantee you they will not stay longer than the bare minimum, and so while your dog may get fed/let out to go to the bathroom (not guaranteed either), he or she will not get the attention they need. If it were for a night or two, that might be ok, but absolutely not for 2 weeks. My mother in law pays the neighborhood kids to do this, even though she gets alerts on her phone when they enter and exit and she knows they only stay for like 2 minutes 3 times a day. I find this to be incredibly cruel.

      I think if the boarding place seems good to you – i.e. dog is not in a cage all day, has plenty of time and space to roam, gets enrichment (playing fetch, petting, whatever), and no history of getting sick there – especially if they have a webcam where you can check in — that would be the best option.

      I wouldn’t want a strange staying in my house for 2 weeks. You can find a rover who will keep your dog at their house, but I’d only do that for 2 weeks if you’ve used them before and trust them (perhaps you can do a trial run before then).

      • Dog lover says

        These standards are really high. Do boarding places like this even exist?

        I know a lot of people are in favor of facilities where the dogs supposedly are out to “play” together a lot, but even there they usually are kenneled most of the day and let out only at set play times. Our (large and super chill) dog also got hurt at one of those places and was incredibly incredibly stressed out. She loved other dogs generally but that was too much. And after watching the dog interactions on the webcam I would not use one of those again—it’s just a safety issue to have that many dogs in one area “playing” (aka fighting, being freaked out, etc.)

        I think for two weeks, you just do the best you can. I love dogs, but they are dogs and not humans. It isn’t cruel if they are kenneled most of the day temporarily. Safe, clean, fed, not emotionally traumatized are my standards for boarding.

        We did have a dog sitter for awhile which was so much easier than boarding. But it was a unicorn sort of thing with an awesome college student who we knew through a friend. We haven’t been able to find another solution that good now that she’s not in the area.

        • Anonymous says

          Cosign all of this. We send our dog to a perfectly safe and clean kennel but opt out of “playtime” because it’s just too many dogs and she gets overwhelmed and stressed. She doesn’t love the kennel, but I’d rather have her develop negative associations with the kennel than with being left alone in her own home all day and night. A dog sitter who stayed in the house overnight would probably be ideal, but trustworthy ones are hard to fine.

          Dogs are not people, and as much as I love my dog I’m not going to avoid going on vacation out of guilt. My dog was literally living in a garbage dump overseas before she was rescued. She now has a wonderful life as a pampered family pet with five miles of walks every day and a doting family of human servants instantly responding to her every whim. She can handle a week or two at the kennel.

      • Anon says

        I totally agree with this for 2 weeks for a young or old dog. Get someone to stay in your house or a good kennel (and yes they exist). I would not under any circumstance let neighborhood kids come over for 2 weeks.

        And to people below who think this is nuts – you can totally change a dog’s personality if you leave them alone for too long. I wouldn’t do this to a dog that i about a year old because you’ll come home to an anxious dog with separation anxiety. You are setting yourself up for a much longer run of bad behavior or hard to manage behavior, rather than just doing a good job with managing your dog when you are gone.

        And we travel ALL the time, so it’s not like being wedded to not letting our dog stay alone overnight for more than one night ever kept us from traveling.

    • Anonymous says

      I think your dog will probably be happier at boarding for two weeks than home alone most of the time, especially if they’re only 1. But book early! Boarding places book up fast for the holidays. If it makes you feel any better, my understanding is that dogs don’t measure time the way that we do. They’ll have a sense of long time away versus short time away, but they’re not counting the days, per se. That said… I feel enormous guilt every time we travel and am happy that we now live near family who can help with our dog when we travel.

    • Spirograph says

      If you’re comfortable with it, maybe find someone who can keep the dog at their house for the 2 weeks? My friend did this type of pet-sitting as a side hustle for a long time, and we have pet-free neighbors who routinely keep another neighbor family’s dog when they go out of town.

      I agree that boarding is preferable to someone just stopping by the house a couple times a day. That’s OK for cats, but most dogs need more interaction.

      • Anon says

        This is what we’re doing with our dog. The kennels we called only let the dogs out of their crates for about 45 minutes a day (divided into 4 breaks). Our puppy would go crazy with so little exercise.

        Instead we found a family on Rover who will keep her at their home for the 10 days. They have one other dog and two kids. Both parents work from home. I suspect her life there will be very similar to her life with us.

    • FVNC says

      Boarding or house/pet sitter. Book now.
      We often used collage-aged kids to pet sit, but over Christmas break that may be hard (they will want to be with their families, presumably). Do you have a dog walker? We also used to leave our dog with our well-trusted dog walkers when they had availability. Traveling is hard when you have a pet, and honestly the main reason why we haven’t gotten a dog after our old guy died a few years ago.

    • Ashley says

      I pay a professional pet sitting company to visit my cat at our house while we travel. They only come once a day because she’s a cat, but they stay 30 minutes each time (verified by my ring doorbell). I know you can book as many visits per day as you need, so if it were a dog I’d think 2-3 30-minute visits would be ok. Or this company also offers overnight sitting where the person stays at your house. I would definitely try to find a professional company that guarantees a set amount of time for the visit, otherwise I would worry about the animal not getting enough attention.

      • Anonymous says

        A dog cannot get by with two or three 30-minute visits per day. Our dog hangs out by herself most of the time and sleeps downstairs all night, but she definitely notices when we are gone. She can handle our leaving for the day, but it would be very stressful for her to be alone in the house all day and all night for days on end. If they are indoors for 8-12 hours overnight they also need more than one or two opportunities to go outside for exercise and potty during the day.

    • Anon says

      We use a dog sitter on Rover, so not quite the same, but we’ve done it for up to two full weeks.

    • Anonymous says

      I don’t think 2 weeks is too long to board, but our dog LOVES our boarder. It’s run by college dudes who play with him all day. We recently tried Rover for a weekend away and it was…fine. It was cheap, but expensive for what you get, I’d that makes sense. The person obviously just fed him twice a day and didn’t play with him at all. Which is fine! That’s literally what I paid them to do. But he definitely gets better play time and comes back happier from the boarder. I pet sat sometimes after college. I liked it best when I could stay in the persons house, but I’m also SUPER responsible and knew everyone I sat for very well. The dogs seem to like that better too, but I understand if you don’t want neighbors in your house for two weeks.

      • Anon says

        Rover probably varies in quality. Our Rover is not what I’d call cheap at all ($50/night) but takes great care of our dog, plays with her and most importantly lets her sleep in her bed. We have a very anxious chihuahua who expects to be near a person at night and would be very upset in a kennel overnight. So the cost is very worth it to us (and we travel a lot, so it’s a very significant expense, cumulatively).

        • Anonymous says

          Agree with this. We found an excellent house sitter on Rover after cycling through several very meh ones. For an older dog, and two weeks, I think house sitter is the way to go. Our dog gets very anxious in new places now. We previously sent him to a boarder with a dog he was friends with (also found on Rover) but they moved out of the area and he is too old to make new friends now. If you go the Rover route, read all the reviews and remember you get what you pay for.

  9. Lizard says

    Ok, Halloween is over, time to start booking Christmas events! (Seriously though.) Current dilemma: should we limit ourselves to one event at which Santa is present? We’re attending a brunch with “Santa and the elves” at which we’ll get to take a photo, etc. I’m also considering booking us a “holiday train ride,” but Santa would be there also. I feel like Santa over-exposure will dilute the specialness of each encounter and we should skip the train ride.

    How are others feeling about this? I feel like when we were growing up, Santa was at the mall and that’s about it. Now every community event, restaurant, party, and church has Santa on-site during the season! How are you deciding which of the dozens of potential holiday festivities to do and which to skip?

    • Anonymous says

      My kid understood that the Santa at the children’s museum, who had a real beard and magically knew each child’s name, was the real Santa and the others were just his helpers dressed in costume. They’re only little once. Have as much holiday fun as you can handle without running yourselves ragged.

    • SC says

      I’d go on the train ride if that event would be fun for your family, outside of seeing Santa. We don’t intentionally limit ourselves to one event with Santa, but we typically only seek out/ visit with Santa once and ignore him at later events.

      I agree, they’re only little once. And you don’t know what the future holds. Have fun with the holiday season! When Kiddo was 5, we did the Polar Express holiday train ride. It was a stretch for our budget, but Kiddo was obsessed with trains. We went, and we had a great time. That was the last year they ran it in our city–it’s been canceled due to Covid, Hurricane Ida, and the rail equipment and crew shortage. Next year, Kiddo will be 8 and a little on the old side for that experience. I’m so glad we did it once!

      But also, balance with cozy time at home. You don’t have to do every event every year. Now that my kid is 7, and even with Covid, we’ve done most of the big community events at least once and have our favorite 1 or 2 things.

  10. anon says

    Curious if anyone has bought the Opinel Le Petit Chef set for their kid (knife, knife guard, peeler)? Thinking about getting it for my 7 year old but not sure if its worth it over just getting her a regular knife. She can use our regular peeler just fine but I do like the knife guard.

    • tova says

      yes, my 4 year old has been using it for a year. She does better with bananas/tofu/cuke, I dont usually have her cut harder things like apples, potatoes, raw carrots. No injuries, and it’s well made

    • Seafinch says

      We don’t use the guard or the peeler but I have tiny hands and the knife is my favourite in the house! It’s great.

  11. Anon says

    Any recommendations for Cool Aunt gifts for a 7-year-old girl? My brother/SIL are very anti-Disney, anti-corporate, and don’t forbid but don’t really buy anything sparkly or girly. I was thinking of picking up some stuff from Claire’s for stocking stuffers and will ask her if there’s anything in particular she wants, but not sure otherwise. I know she’d like a nail polish/nail art set but I think that would be towing the line with her parents so I might need it to be heavy on the “art” side of things if anyone has any recommendations for that.

    She likes animals, reads a ton, and has also been very into drawing lately.

    • Anon says

      don’t buy something you know her parents won’t approve of, like nail polish. Does she have a full art set? Like the ones that come with crayons, markers, colored pencils, pastels, etc. all in one case? That could be a good gift. Otherwise the brands Creativity for Kids and ALEX make nice craft kits

      • Anon says

        I try to dance the dance of buying things they don’t disapprove of per se but wouldn’t spend money on themselves. I ask if I think threes a real question.

        I’ll check out those craft sets. I was looking at those full art sets and think she would like that but couldn’t tell based on my limited experience which ones were worth the money and which weren’t. Any recs there? I assumed that the crayola ones would feel like more of the same for her but maybe I’m wrong there?

      • Anonymous says

        My daughter has gotten so many of those “complete” art sets and never uses them. They take up so much space, they are generally low-quality, and most kids will already have most of the materials anyway.

        • Anon says

          Meh, my kid got one that she really likes and I just sent my BFF’s kids one and she’s sent me several texts gushing about how much her kids are using it. We have the kind of relationship where I don’t think she’d tell me it was a big hit if that wasn’t true. Our kids are younger though, oldest ones are 5.

      • Spirograph says

        ha, yes, agreed! My 7 year old girl loves her spirograph. Get some extra colored pens… maybe even one of those that has multiple colors with the little buttons you push down at the top to select the color

          • Spirograph says

            I thought I’d accidentally typed my handle in the wrong field, at first! :D

    • CCLA says

      My 6yo loves a tiger tales coloring set she got for her bday, as she is very into drawing. It folds up into itself so she carts it everywhere, hours of entertainment so far and it small. There appear to be some that are less frilly if that’s a concern. It’s only like $15 so not huge but she adores it. Also can never have enough blank white sketch pads and books.

    • Anon says

      Could you do a nail art set that isn’t overly girly? Like, animal or space-themed nail stickers with some basic white/light colored polishes? Or even some of those nail dash things. Add a Caboodle to store it all in (she could also use it for her art supplies!). Obviously, ask the parents first if this route would be okay, but it could be a happy medium.

    • Anonymous says

      national geographic kids magazine subscription and ‘how to draw cute animals’ books and coloured pencils

      • Anonymous says

        My year old LOVES all the “how to draw cute animals” books. I also got her tracing paper because she was struggling with replicating the steps and I think tracing helped her improve

  12. Anon says

    8 months pregnant (plus a toddler!) and got covid. I didn’t get the bivalent booster that was released recently bc my OB didn’t push it and I read reports that it would be better to get it while nursing. All that said I feel absolutely miserable and not sure what “mild” symptoms feels like but surely this is not it.

    Im assuming my toddler got it first because he was really sick last week (but tested negative??) and passed it along to me…my husband is double boosted and has been spared this far.

    • Anon says

      I’m sorry, that is awful. I too had Covid while in my third tri. Make sure you protect your pelvic floor if you’re coughing. It can cause prolapse and your doctor will not warn you about it because they figure here’s nothing that you can do about it… but you actually can. Sit down with good posture and kegel before you cough (“the knack”). Use your hand for support if necessary. Hope you’re feeling better soon!

      • OP says

        Thanks for this tip! I’ve been doing it instinctively on and off but will be more deliberate about it now.

  13. Anon says

    Are sneakers with laces a terrible idea for a 4 year old who isn’t good at independent dressing? My kid has been begging for light-up sneakers for years, and is obsessed with unicorns so I thought these (https://www.skechers.com/twinkle-toes-twi-lites-2.0—unicorn-wings/314401L_MLT.html) would make a great Hanukkah gift. But she’s never had shoes that aren’t Velcro and I’m not optimistic about teaching her to tie laces any time soon. We’re still struggling with getting shirts on and off.

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