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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
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- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
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Anon says
I posted some time ago about whether to postpone TTC by a few months to do a whitewater rafting trip and to allow more time to feel ready, even though I was getting concerned about getting “old”. I ended up doing the rafting trip and we started trying after getting back. Well, it turns out I got pregnant on the first try! It’s very early days, but right now, I’m so glad we did what turned out to be a fantastic trip and that we were able to wait until we really felt ready. I’m also glad because I’m overweight and will have a high-risk pregnancy due to a well-managed chronic disease, so several providers scared me into thinking this would never happen for me. I hope this works out because the next adventure I want is motherhood :)
Now for a question: I think there are some fans of the Momma Strong program. I’ve long dealt with back pain from a chronic disc issue and I’m eager to strengthen my core during pregnancy to prevent worsening (I already do physical therapy, but need to do more). I’d like a structured, week-by-week strength program where I just have to follow prompts and not think. Would this be a good program for home workouts with almost no equipment? We live in a small apartment and don’t have room for a lot of new stuff. I do have a kettlebell, a Bosu ball, and some resistance bands. Outside of that, I plan to walk and ride my mountain bike (on safe terrain away from cars) as long as I can and to make sure I inform my doctor about it all when I have my first appointment. I was given an info packet that shows that the practice is very supportive of exercise, so that’s great. I just know I need to keep my core strong as possible to prevent relapse.
Spirograph says
I remember your post and I’m glad for such a positive update. Congrats and best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!
I have no experience with Momma Strong, but if you’re open to going to fitness classes outside your home, find a prenantal yoga class. There’s so much core strengthening in yoga, and a good teacher will also be happy to give you modifications to meet your goals.
Emma says
Congratulations! I’m not familiar with Momma Strong, but second the recommendation for an in-person prenatal yoga class if that’s an option. My yoga studio also offered a postnatal class, so I got to know a lot of the moms-to-be and then meet their babies and that social network was really valuable to me in late pregnancy and early motherhood.
Anonymous says
I did Body Ready Method, which was similar. You barely need anything, I did it w/ a yoga mat and a couple bands.
Congrats! You’re not old. I was on a call with my fertility clinic the other day and the admin said, “Let’s see… you’re 37, oh you’re young” and I was like, bless you sweetie. They see people in their late forties having kids all the time so it’s nothing to them!
Anon says
Not all medical providers are so kind. I had my first at 32 and my OB labeled me geriatric and reminded me several times that I was her oldest first time mom in years. (I’m in an area where people typically marry their high school or college sweethearts and have kids before 25.)
Sigh says
You were not medically a geriatric pregnancy so your doctor was just incorrect. And obviously 32 is not objectively old to have a baby. I also live in an area where people have babies very young, but I don’t think it’s helpful to respond to someone who’s concerned about being an older mom by telling them even 32 is old in your area. Your doctor is wrong and rude.
Anonymous says
My point was that at fertility clinics it’s not old. You are medically geriatric at 35, so I get why it feels that way.
Anon says
Congratulations! I do Get Mom Strong and I truly think it’s fantastic program. I started it to rehab a birth injury and I wish I had done it with both of my pregnancies. It took me a little while to get into it but I am now in excellent shape even though I haven’t quite followed the schedule. I think the pregnancy program goes by weeks that correspond to your gestational age.
I think other popular programs are Belle Method (Pilates) and Body Ready Method, which aligns with Restore Your Core. Full disclosure, I did Restore Your Core and even though I love yoga it was too gentle for me and didn’t help my issues.
NYCer says
Sculpt Society by Megan Roup has a week by week prenatal program.
Doodles says
I don’t have experience with that program but I loved prenatal yoga (started in person and then went virtual for my 2020 kid). I had sciatica in my first pregnancy but then did prenatal yoga with my second and did not have any at all despite starting at a higher weight than with the first and also being overweight for both. After the baby, I also loved Stroller Strides. I think they’re national but it’s a mom & kid (in strollers) workout class. Great way to get out of the house on leave and meet new moms. Good luck!
Anon says
Thanks all – I’ll check some of these recommendations out!
Vicky Austin says
No advice but congratulations!
Anon says
Every mother is an app focused on core and pelvic floor-I got into it postpartum but pretty sure there is a prenatal mode. I’m not much for exercising but really like the simple workouts and that all you need are hand weights.
A note with biking – your balance changes before you see it / realize it, so there is a heightened fall risk. Swimming feels amazing while pregnant so that was my favorite
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Dropped DS #1 off to Kinder! He was not feeling it when he woke up, lots of big emotions, complained about his uniform (although it was the same brand of shirt/bottoms as last year’s…), not having any friends, etc. Got better by breakfast, and stayed strong through drop-off. There are a few kids from his old school in his class (not his old class, though – ’tis life), so hoping that it helps.
Anon says
i’m the twin mom who posted on Friday with kids also at HISD. first of all – thank you everyone for your mostly kind comments. DH dropped them off this morning and they were scared but not crying. i was actually feeling much better about everything, until I learned about some new policies from the Texas Education Agency, so here’s to hoping it’s a safe and productive school year
Cb says
Phew, I think dry eyes on day 1 is a great start!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
YAY! Great news.
FWIW – I e-mailed the school principal about the policy(s) I think you’re referring to and asked about safety in general (e.g. gates being locked, who can go in-and-out of the school, how they handle any kids talking about guns, etc.) Also the new open door policy for the district (major eyeroll) doesn’t apply to Kinder.
Nothing is 100%, but I was pleasantly surprised. Getting more answers and clarity directly from the school may help.
Anon says
at our school they are applying it to kindergarten. if you have a link as to where I can see that it doesn’t apply to K that would be great. thanks!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I don’t know that it’s in writing anywhere, which is probably by design. I googled and found this on a local news site: “…there will be exceptions such as if a classroom is near a gym or music room.”
Anon says
There’s always something new to freak out about.
Cb says
Fingers crossed that he has a wonderful day!
GCA says
Aww! Hope he has a great day! Keep us posted.
Attitude says
DD (8) is starting to get a lot of attitude and talk back, especially to DH. Who then gets mad that she’s being disrespectful.
Sources for scripts here? A lot of the time it’s in the morning getting out the door. And she’s kind of being a pill. But also feels like this is just a small preview of the years to come so we’d better get ready!
Anon says
maybe i’m more lenient than others on here, but who likes getting out of the door in the morning? and kids are also allowed to be in bad moods sometimes. i’m often in a bad mood in the morning, but i kind of fake it for my kids as i am not a morning person at all. so i think it depends on how disrespectful she actually is and whether she is like this all the time, or just in the mornings?
Cb says
This sounds awful (and is very painful as a person who likes to maximise sleep) but we pushed wakeup time 15 minutes earlier and it’s really helped not being rushed.
SC says
+1. My husband is responsible for getting our son out the door in the mornings. But I’ve noticed that the two mornings that ended in my husband being angry, he got himself and our kid up 30 minutes later than usual, and they were both rushed.
Spirograph says
My go-to when my 8 year old daughter crosses a sass line: “Excuse me? Try again.”
Anonymous says
I personally don’t care about kids talking back and I think it’s weird and controlling when parents demand respect at all times. I know my kid fundamentally respects me, when she’s rude I correct her in the moment or just let it go. Kids have to do a lot they have no say in, my approach is to acknowledge that reality and move ahead.
Mary Moo Cow says
I’ve also noticed an increase in back talk and eye roll with my 8 year old. When I’m calm, I can let it go or say, “Want to try that again?” or a raised eyebrow, or even a compassionate, “Is there something more going on?” When I’m anxious/stressed/impatient (which is much more often), I snap back with “What was that? Want to try again?” No real advice, but commiseration and a reminder to myself to try to chill.
Anonymous says
This. I do a lot of ‘would you like to try that again’ or ‘try that again please’ with my 8 year old boys.
OP says
Ha yeah, this feels about right. I actually totally agree with everyone saying bad moods happen. I’m pretty good at handling it, but DH is reeeeally struggling. Like he couldn’t even talk to me about it today after drop off because he was so frustrated and told me it had ruined his day. Which, my 8 year old’s snark should not ruin his day.
I also don’t LOVE the framing around respect, but he grew up in a pretty old school household so this is generational. I think I’m going to try to encourage him to frame it as having basic manners or just not being rude. Glad to hear we aren’t the only ones struggling here. Honestly 8 year old wakes up earlier than us to walk the dog herself – she’s just disorganized in the morning and takes too long. So this is really mostly on us to get used to it.
Anonymous says
I think your husband should deal with his feelings like an adult, by unpacking them in therapy.
Anonymous says
I’m not the OP but I did just text my husband to alert him that there’s a whole convo on this topic today, bc our 8 year old is also suddenly sooooo smart-alecky/ sassy/talking back. We’ve read about it being a developmental phase so this is anecdata! But like OP’s husband, mine really struggles with being told mean things by our child and – you guessed it- is dealing with it with his therapist. It’s way easier for me to just jngnore being told he wishes I don’t exist, etc. i know it’s not true.
Anonymous says
I wrote above that we use a lot of ‘would you like to try that again’ but that’s for like attitude when told to go get their lunchbox from the kitchen or whine about putting away laundry. I am a hard no on anything mean or rude. Complaining is one thing. Mean or rude at 8 is another.
Being told they wished I didn’t exist would be sent to room, no screen time until I get an apology card and an explanation that shows they know why we do not say mean things to people. Like obv consequence has to wait for after school but there would 100 be a consequence.
Anon says
to the anon at 3:28, while i don’t think i should be their punching bag, sometimes when we are mad we say things we don’t mean. i can almost guarantee that at some point as a teen I said to my parent in the heat of the moment that i hate them/wish they didn’t exist and while i’m sure it was hurtful to hear, i never said anything like that to anyone else, but i don’t think in the moment most people are able to think, oh remember that time i said a mean thing to my mom and then i lost screen time.
Anonymous says
An 8 year old is not disorganized – that’s a sign that you need to get more involved in setting her up for success – clothes picked out the night before, school bag by the door. Should literally just be wake her up, help her get breakfast, dress herself, wash face/brush teeth, and out the door.
Anonymous says
Are there things she can move to the night before? Picking out clothes, packing bags, maybe even choosing the next day’s breakfast? And/or make some lists together?
Anon says
Bad moods, emotions, sass, and the like are all allowed in our family but rudeness, blatant disrespect, and meanness are not (regardless of who it is targeted to!). If it’s a comment that’s a little over the line I usually just respond with “excuse me?”. If it’s something problematic, then we’re at least having a discussion and there may be a consequence.
That being said – what can be done by everyone in the family to streamline the morning? Layout clothes the night before? Pack up backpack, lunch, anything else needed (sports equipment) the night before? Make a checklist of what DD needs to do in the AM that she physically checks off? Set a timer? Giving more choices or less choices for the morning? More choices if her rudeness is coming from a feeling of a lack of control in her life (I do feel for kids – they get so little say), or less choices if she’s taking too long and wasting time making choices in the AM.
Emma says
A little celebration this morning – after a bit of a rocky start, my daughter seems to have adjusted very well to daycare and was all smiles at drop-off today. DH is at work and I am alone with my house with nothing specific to do (I go back to work next week) for the first time in like… a year? Of course I have plans to clean out my basement and cook various elaborate things, but I may just binge watch silly TV and then take the dog for a long walk and buy a fancy latte on the way. As an introvert, I love my family dearly but wow, being home alone is the best.
Cb says
Watch the tv, go for the walk, read the book! The basement isn’t going anywhere (she says, after cleaning out the greenhouse and listing things on freecycle like a maniac before starting a new job on Friday).
Boston Legal Eagle says
+1000. Just chill. I have part of this week too, after kiddo 1 goes back to school and kiddo 2 is in daycare. I have high hopes of doing a few chores but mostly a lot of nothing.
Anon says
+1. Chill and go do fun solo stuff. An hour browsing a bookstore or checking out a museum exhibit without a kid with you sounds like a dream and a great way to decompress before work.
Vicky Austin says
Home alone is so amazing. We had a rough weekend and I am sitting here, enjoying not needing to hold, nurse, soothe, find, unpack, answer or remember.
Cb says
We went and saw my son’s favourite author this weekend and my son was the cutest fan boy – he had his tshirt, dragon toy, and his book for signing. She was so lovely in the signing, it took ages because she was really connecting with every kid. There were some pre-teens in the queue in front of us who were ridiculously excited and bonding with my 6 year old over their fandom.
And a prospective mom-friend update, she was taking her kids to the same event (realised when she got on the bus) and we hung out together before/after and we seem to have some shared interests and our boys seemed to really like each other.
Emma says
That sounds really cute! And congrats on the mom friend progress – making friends as an adult is so hard. I feel like a maniac walking into our new daycare and enthusiastically greeting every parent I see, but maybe something will come of it one day.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This may the first vacation with kids that I didn’t come back from feeling totally exhausted. They are 7 and almost 5. Granted, I still felt the drudgery of making food and doing cleanup everyday (we stayed at an Airbnb) and my parents came along too, but the kids mostly entertained themselves at the beach and enjoyed our other planned activities. Older kid is still a wild child active boy, but compared to the past, meltdowns were minimal and manageable. I saw many families with a toddler and baby at the beach and I felt for them, but also felt glad for where I am in this stage of parenting! I’m sure it will get harder with other challenges soon but I’ll cherish this week. And am actually thinking about doing many more travel adventures with them! I know this site has a lot in the toddler/baby stage – it really does get better.
Anon says
Yes it definitely does!! I only have one, which I know is easier, but age 4 was a huge turning point for us in terms of travel (it was the age at which I really started enjoying travel with my kid without another adult present) and 5 has been better still. I’m very excited for bigger travel adventures in elementary school. Glad you had such a great trip!
Mary Moo Cow says
Yay! My kids are now 8 and 6 and our annual beach trips get easier and better every year. Less gear to lug, more time they can enjoy the beach, more time they can entertain themselves, etc. I agree that traveling has become more enjoyable and less something I dread.
Anon says
That’s so nice to hear. I pretty much dread summer and all vacations at this point.
TheElms says
Yay!!! Thanks for the reminder. As the mom of a 4 year old and 18 month old travel is pretty hard right now. We just did our first beach/hotel vacation and it went really well and it was still really hard. We’re planning Thanksgiving and Christmas now and part of me just wants to stay home because I now how utterly exhausting it will be but I also think making the memories is important (not just for my 4 year old, but also for the grandparents). There is just so much stuff to lug (travel crib, carseats, stroller, diapers, some toys) and doing without stuff like a high chair is hard.
But I do have new found appreciation for my 4 year old though because when I just have her (and she’s a very high energy, feels everything very strongly, still has multiple meltdowns a day kind of kid) it is so much easier than 18 months.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, totally agree with everything you’re saying. “Lucky” for us, Covid hit right when they were 4 and 1.5, so while it absolutely sucked to be home with them and work, we at least didn’t have to think about travel beyond a similar beach trip with my parents that summer (which was much harder than now!) It will feel like 4 decades, but you will get there in just a few short years.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
We just did an all-inclusive with a 2.5 year old and 5.5 year old, and it was fun, but I still think hard because of the 2.5 year old’s current life stage so it was still a lot more management than with just my older kid. Like, when we went to a restaurant, having to make sure things weren’t moved/thrown, the tantrums, making sure the schedule was followed to avoid the meltdown we knew would come, etc. An all-inclusive makes the management a lot easier to implement, but the mental load is still there.
The flight to/from weren’t terrible, but I was constantly adjusting toddler’s (okay and sometimes older kid’s) tablet, giving snacks, etc. and (reasonably) wasn’t able to just chill out…although I did actually read several chapters in a book in between all of this each way, so maybe it was better than it felt at the time.
Seeing how easy it is to travel with my 5.5 year old gives me hope!
Spirograph says
+1 my youngest just turned 7 and our beach week was *very* relaxing. They’re old enough and good enough swimmers that I don’t feel like I need to have eyes on them every second while they’re boogie-boarding, and they make friends on the beach and play with other kids and entertain each other. It’s magical.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 7 year old was in his element with his boogie board and making friends at the beach! Could have spent hours just doing that. 5 year old was happy to sit in the shade and have snacks (like mom and dad) ;)
Anonymous says
Has anyone used a sleep consultant for a toddler and had a good experience? We’ve had sleep issues with DD since she was an infant (I’m the one sometimes posting here about how she could go for more than 3 hours when we tried CIO and everything else). Well, we had a good year or so when she turned 1, and breathed a sigh of relief. But now she seems to be regressing at 2.5yo, and we’ve had an ongoing issue with extended nighttime screaming sessions over the last couple of months. We have a formula for dealing with it…but it takes 90 minutes usually, if not longer, and that’s time I would like to be asleep. Oh, and she’s decided to drop her nap! (sob)
Anonymous says
Yes. We hired one for our son at 2.5yo with similar situation. They did have helpful support for what to buy (specific extra tall baby gate, night lights, visual schedule for bedtime, etc) which I appreciated. They help you enforce limits and do the rip off the bandaid approach. They support you 1:1 throughout the first week or so in case something off script happens (kid falls asleep in the car for 20min, what time should bedtime be?). They really have seen it all so they are super supportive in their ideas – like, if the kid chucks things at the gate when you leave, you remove all the stuff from their room until they can calm down. I absolutely thought it was worth it.
Anon says
I haven’t, but my best friend did and ended up spending a lot of money for recommendations that she was never open to following in the first place. It may work better for you, but based on her experience, I’d recommend making sure you’re actually open to advice and new suggestions before taking the plunge.
anon says
Just venting, because the relationship work is in progress…
My week started with a fight with DH because he left our18 mo alone with our snappy dog while I was taking my 10 minutes to get ready for work. I threw clothes on and ran downstairs to find him checking a over a screaming baby and confirming no bite marks. We’ve discussed this repeatedly, and yet somehow it was shocking to him that “You think we can never leave them together unsupervised?” I don’t think we can have them together even supervised! IMO he has a history of saying he agrees with a rule when he doesn’t actually agree, and then only following the rule when I’m around.
Now DH is mad at me because I said it makes me feel like I can’t trust him. I did not call him names or generalize that he’s a “bad dad” or anything. I don’t feel like I can trust him with the dog and the baby in the morning because he left them unsupervised and the dog snapped at the baby!
Colorado says
Probably not a popular take…but I’d absolutely rehome this dog.
Anon says
Not just you. I wanted to rehome our territorial chihuahua mix after she growled at my first a few times. DH insisted on just keeping the kids and dog separate, and fortunately nothing bad happened. But if DH can’t be trusted to keep them separate, then rehoming the dog is the only answer.
Anon says
+1. Keeping them separate can only work if both parents are 100% on board and fully committed to ensuring they are never together. Agreeing to keep them separate and then secretly disregarding when your back is turned would make me rehome the dog…and maybe the husband too.
Anonymous says
Another vote for rehoming the dog. We waited far too long and wasted way too much time, money, and effort trying to avoid rehoming an aggressive dog that was dangerous to our baby. The moment the dog was out of the house we realized just how much of a constant stressor the situation had been.
Anonymous says
Same. We rehomed our dog of 7 years. I was heartbroken but the day he left it was like a weight had been lifted.
Anon says
+1, we had friends who rehomed their dog after their son was born and they expressed the same thing. They had no idea how stressed they were until he was gone.
anon says
100 percent. This is a bad situation waiting to happen.
anon says
+1 on rehoming the dog. In addition to the significant safety issue, it doesn’t seem like the dog has the temperament to enjoy living with a child.
NYCer says
I agree. If it has been 18 months and the dog still hasn’t adjusted to having a baby around, it is time to find a new home for the dog.
Anon says
+1 18 months is plenty of time to adjust. As kiddo gets more active (ex. a 3 year old, 4 year old, etc.) , it’ll be hard to keep them away from the dog. It sounds like it’s time to rehome. Speaking as someone who has fostered rescue dogs. It’s not worth the risk for the kid or dog.
Dog lover but says
Ughhh sorry! This is so frustrating/scary. We also have a dog that we do not leave alone with our kids. Do you have a room/kennel where dog can be contained most of the time when LO is up? This is what we do. But you definitely still need your husband to get on board with this.
Does he understand it’s either keep them separate or get rid of the dog?
Dog lover but says
Also, you might have to scare him a bit so he gets with reality. Even a small dog can cause serious harm to a small child. Can you send him some articles or information to help him understand why it isn’t worth the risk?
Personally I would not leave any dog unsupervised with an 18 month old.
Anonymous says
Yeah, very late to the party. I have the world’s mellowest senior dog. He’s been through it all with kids, loves them. We don’t leave him unattended with kids under age 3 or with kids who aren’t our kids (who know to leave the dog alone). We just never want to put either the dog or the kids in that situation… so I would say that I don’t think ANY 18 month old should be left alone with a dog.
An.On. says
I’m sorry, this would be really hard for me to let go because this is a real safety issue, not just a “we have different parenting priorities”. Especially because he’s willing to lie about whether he’s doing it. He’s mad you said you can’t trust him after he did something untrustworthy? I hope that’s pure guilt and embarrassment talking and he’s learned something from this experience, i.e., having to check his screaming infant for dog bites because he’s too careless to separate them.
Anon says
That sounds scary! I would get rid of the dog. There is enough stress in life without fearing your child could be bitten in your own home. Sorry about the fight with DH. Sometimes these low moments can instigate an important change or bring about a solution you’ve been putting off. Take care of yourself today.
Anonymous says
If your dog is snapping, that means that he’s stressed, too! This is not a good situation for anyone. In addition to why would your husband to do this to your kid, why would your husband do this to the dog?
Anon says
So.. you’re not under-reacting, and to echo others, I would really start looking into rehoming your dog. The issues with the dog are going to get worse, not better for a while as your kid gets older. We have a lovely, very friendly dog who loves our toddler, but we still make an effort not to leave them alone because DS is 2.5 and pushes boundaries. To give you some perspective, DS pinches our dog, pulls her tail, and has tried to ride her. Our dog normally just tries to lick him to push him away, but I’m still afraid of reaching her breaking point (whatever that is).
Anonymous says
FYI, licking in that situation is not a “kiss”, it’s actually a dog behavior that means “need space, go away”
Anonymous says
This. It’s more like age 8/9/10 depending on the kid before you can leave them alone with a dog. Even with our 11 year old, dog is crated if we are not home as well to intervene if she needs help.
Appeasement licks can turn to snaps quickly.
Anonymous says
You need to rehome that dog. It is not a remotely reasonable or practical plan to never have a dog and a kid together.
Anon says
Disagree – it’s practical and reasonable to never have a dog and baby together *unsupervised*. But you need both parents as well as any other regular caregivers (nanny, grandparent, etc) to be on board, and her DH isn’t. That’s the issue.
anon says
A reactive dog can still react while supervised. I would not chance it, and holy hell, this would be a stressful situation and I also question whether it’s really tenable. I don’t say this lightly, but when it’s a safety issue, the pet needs to be rehomed.
Anon says
+1. Never allowing a child and dog to be unsupervised is stressful for everyone, including the dog. Also, even supervised, things can happen in an instant. Obviously, OP’s home is already in turmoil if she and her husband are fighting over it.
Anonymous says
This is crazy to me. I would never leave our son (10 months) unsupervised with our dog and she is truly the best dog in the world – lazy, sweet, loves kids, incredibly gentle. I have zero concerns she would ever do anything to our son, but I also know my son is really rough with her when I’m not monitoring. I don’t want him to hurt her, or there to be an accident (e.g., she wags her tail and knocks him over).
Maybe I’m stricter about this than others? I thought this was basic safety stuff even for extremely nice, friendly dogs.
But this seems like a larger issue with being on the same page about parenting/household rules/safety/etc. Worth a larger discussion with him, or possibly some couples therapy.
You can have your husband check out dogmeetsbaby on Instagram for dog safety advice, tips, etc.
Anonymous says
You can never leave an 18month old alone even without a dog.
It is insane that he left the baby alone with a dog. I’ve had Labradors, German Shepards and other big dogs by whole life as have many of my family members. Including family members who are state level competitive in obedience and hunting trials. I can’t think of anyone who ever left their babies or toddlers alone with a dog. No matter how well trained and trusted the dog is. That’s insane.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 – Forget the re-homing piece for now, I think this is bright line safety – Do not leave the 18 month alone (unless they’re in their crib or whatever and can’t climb out), and certainly do not leave baby with a dog.
Dog 1 (RIP my sweet boy) – The sweetest older golden retriever. Wouldn’t hurt anyone, just wanted to be left alone or snuggle, tolerated DS #1 crawling on him, laying on him, etc.
Current dog – is a complete a**hole, loves our boys, rambunctious (he tried to join a game of red light/green light this weekend), ~100 lbs. He will nip and growl at grown-ups when he doesn’t want to comply.
NEITHER dog has been left alone (like in another room with no adult) with either kid. Even with Dog #1, he could have knocked DS #1 over accidentally, or something similar.
Realist says
I agree that this is not a sustainable situation, but keep in mind that unless you get lucky “rehoming” a dog (especially one that snaps and/or can’t be around kids) may well be impossible.
I’m not saying the dog should stay necessarily, but you’ll need to consider what you will do if you can’t find the dog another home. People love to say “rehome” a pet because it sounds nicer than “get rid of the dog.” But with some exceptions, most “rehomed” dogs aren’t living life happily in a child-free home.
Anon says
Yeah, this. Especially right now. Shelters are so overcrowded with everyone getting rid of their pandemic puppies that even dogs with great temperaments are being put down in large numbers.
Anon says
Yes, it’s hard when no one on earth currently cares more about an animal than the people who aren’t themselves able to keep it. It can be done, but it can be a lot of work and it can take time!
Anon says
Our friends rehomed their aggressive cavalier King Charles, and he is absolutely happier. He didn’t like men (or children) and they found an older single woman who was fine with that. I believe our friends used a website where you can make a profile for your dog, and they got multiple messages right away. Of course if you just hand your dog off to a shelter there might not be a happy ending, but there are other options.
Realist says
It does happen and it’s certainly worth a try. But it’s the exception rather than the rule.
Anonymous says
We just had a vacation like that too! My kids are 5 and 6. The first year we went to the beach with a baby and a toddler I wanted to leave early because it was still so hard, but every year it got a little easier and more fun and this year was just great. In fact it was so much easier I am pondering how to uninvite my MIL and FIL from next year’s since we don’t need extra hands as much.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes on the not needing extra hands! I love my parents and they are helpful, but we almost don’t need the help anymore now that we can do more with the kids and don’t need an afternoon break like before. I know my parents enjoy spending time with them though, so we’ll still probably keep doing these kinds of trips (until my older kid hits 13 and hates everything :o!)
Anon says
I posted maybe a year ago (maybe less?) about having a very sensitive cat and being worried about introducing a baby. I’m trying to find the old thread because I know it had helpful tips on it, but all my searching is turning up nothing. By any chance, can someone else help me find it??
Spirograph says
No advice on finding the thread, but for what it’s worth: I know a couple cats (one is a neighbor’s, one is my sister’s) who really don’t like kids. The cats just make themselves scarce while the kids in the house are awake, and come out to snuggle the adults after the kids are in bed. It has been a non-issue for them.
Anon says
Ugh, I hope that’s the case for us! Thank you for this.
Spirograph says
I hope so, too, for your sake! We had an older cat who was very set-in-her-ways and preferred to be an only-pet when my first baby was born. She sniffed the baby a couple times, then apparently decided he was noisy but not interesting and mostly ignored him. Sadly, she died before my son was old enough to try to befriend her, so I don’t know how that would have turned out. We lucked out with our next/current cat, whom we got as a kitten when my son was about a year old. They’ve been best friends for almost 10 years now.
Anon says
You might be pleasantly surprised. My cat is very patient with our young kids even though she isn’t always with adults. Same for the cat of a good friend. I think some cats get that babies/toddlers are a different breed. Obviously not always the case but you may not have to do much.
anon says
What brands of children’s clothes do you feel hold up best over time? For my first child, we have gotten most of his clothes from Target and Carter’s – I had him when I was 39 and was not expecting to have a second child, so while we kept things just in case, I wasn’t really focused on buying stuff that might truly be in good shape for a younger child and a lot of it is fairly worn. Well, here I am at 42, miraculously 20 weeks pregnant, and also needing to buy fall clothes for my growing toddler. This time around I am willing to spend a bit more money since I now know there will be a younger brother that could wear anything he gets. Any recommendations? Is Boden worth the $?
Anonymous says
I love Boden. I buy it on sale and take care of it and it lasts.
Anonymous says
Second for boden. Also, Hanna andersson and primary. I have a boy and have gotten clothes from these three places, as well as Carters, target, gap, old navy, and H&M (I buy too many clothes). The gap stuff holds up a littler better than old navy, target (cat and Jack brand) or Carter’s. Not just the quality of construction, but also the colors not fading (and I was all my kids stuff on hot and throw it on the dryer). A friend just returned some clothes back to me that her boy grew out of (it was 80% boden, HA and Priqmry). Hers was the third kid to wear them and they still look great.
However, the exception is that I have found that the only socks that don’t immediately fall apart are Jeffries brand, I get these online. The HA and primary ones fall apart in the wash.
Anonymous says
Hanna Andersson outlasts everything else.
TheElms says
I think Hanna holds up pretty well. I’m not sure either justifies the price unless bought on sale though because buying two lots of Cat and Jack is still probably cheaper than full price Boden or Hanna. And sometimes Cat and Jack is unexpectedly good quality (I’ve had really good luck with shorts and some dresses). I also find Boden in the darker colors really susceptible to showing wash wear.
AwayEmily says
Honestly I’ve found that a lot of Target stuff holds up quite well — I am using much of it now, on my third kid. And I’ve also had Hanna clothes that have not held up (several pair of pants lost their elastic; a dress got holes). Similarly, I’ve had Carters that lasts forever and another one where the snaps gave out after two months. I feel like it’s just such a crapshoot (especially in terms of what the kids actually like and wear) that you may as well just get what you like and can afford. I generally do 80% Target/Old Navy and then a few pieces from Boden/Tea/Hanna — less because I think they’ll hold up and more because they bring me joy.
Anon says
I’ll second this. It always seems a few things get holes or stains, but I don’t find it to be brand dependent. I’ve had plenty of Boden stuff stain, fray or get deformed, and Target stuff look perfect after two kids. It just depends.
Anon says
I commented below but this is my experience too. I think if you’re just looking at price vs quality, Target comes out on top.
NYCer says
+1. For clothes that get worn regularly (to playground, etc.), I think that Target holds up just as well as any of the others. Other than leggings, which in my experience, get stained and holes in them regardless of price point.
Anonymous says
Boden, Hanna, Primary, Tea Collection.
Anonymous says
+1 yup this is the Fab Four of kids clothing brands. Tea’s my fav because they have the best designs for both boys and girls— and great sales. IMH(unpopular)O, Primary’s boring for bigger kids…especially for tops. I love the prints from the other three companies so much more.
FWIW, don’t splurge on these brands for durability’s sake in the baby sizes—they outgrow too quickly. True durability of clothing comes out when they’re preschoolers and older—they stay in one size for months and will play harder/be rougher on clothes.
Anon says
I only have one child, but I feel like Target holds up just about as well as Primary and Hanna for us. We had lots of Target items that were in great condition that I handed down to friends’ kids.
We didn’t buy any Boden because it’s too twee for my tastes, but I have heard good things about the quality.
Anon says
My kids are the last of the (lots of) grandchildren from a grandma who has a shopping problem so we received a ton of hand me downs. Hanna Anderson has held up by far the best. Under Armor has actually held up shockingly well too. Boden is super cute but I feel like it fades.
Anonymous says
Gymboree on sale is consistently the best value.
anon says
Oh man, I loved Gymboree and was sad when it went away. Now it’s back, and my kiddo thinks it’s too babyish for her (she’s not wrong).
Anonymous says
Some stuff is there but leggings and jeans and pyjamas are consistently good quality.
anon says
The athletic brands seem to hold up the best. Beyond that, it’s a crapshoot. We had a few Tea dresses that were hand-me-downs and still looked great. I didn’t buy much Boden because the fabric faded quickly, and that is a dealbreaker for me. Plenty of our Target and Old Navy stuff have held up. Carter’s and Oshkosh seem to depend on the item. Same with anything from the Kohl’s house brands.
I now lean toward having less clothing and just not worrying about brand quality as much. I make exceptions for shoes and outerwear.
anon says
Oh, and the Children’s Place stuff for girls is not great, quality wise. But the boys’ stuff held up much better (grrrr).
Anonymous says
I feel like we have very little clothing that truly wears out. Instead it is ruined by stains.
Anonymous says
This is what happens in our house – I don’t have the time to battle with ink, marker, playdoh, tomato sauce etc
San Diego / Disney question says
I was reading an earlier thread and saw that a poster combined a San Diego and Disneyland trip and took the train. I would love to do that for spring break this year with 3.5 and 5.5 year old kids. Our break is Passover (late April). Just wondering, how many days did you spend at each and how you suggest structuring the trip. Which city first and how many days at each? Where did you stay in each city? We’d be coming from the midwest so would have a connecting flight either way. What else did you do in either city? So far I’m just thinking San Diego zoo. Did you book the Disney and train tickets ahead of time? We’ve never been to disney or on a train with the kids. Thanks!
Anonymous says
In San Diego I would do the Safari Park in addition to the zoo.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Not the earlier poster, but we did SD and Disney last summer, with our then 6 and 3.5 year olds. We have family in the SD area so stayed near there, but in your case, I would stay in La Jolla or Oceanside. I’m not sure if there is a train that goes from SD straight to Disney? CA is not known for its public transit, particularly SoCal, so I would plan to have a car there. I lived in CA for years and don’t think I’ve ever taken a train there! We did 4 days in SD and 3 full days in Disney – did Disneyland for 2 days and CA Adventure for 1 day. Yes, buy Disney tickets ahead of time. I would recommend Genie+ too. SD also has Legoland and Seaworld. Oceanside has a nice beach, although not sure if it will be warm enough in April (but will be warmer than the midwest). La Jolla is a very cute, picturesque town. There is an aquarium nearby.
NYCer says
+1 re the car. I actually do think that you can take Amtrak from SD to Anaheim, but you will still want a car to get around beyond that IMO.
If Hotel Del Coronado is in your budget, that is always a fun place to stay with kids. Otherwise, I second the recommendation for the La Jolla area. For the Orange County portion of the trip, my recommendations will turn on whether you want it to be totally Disney centric. If so, you should pick a hotel near the park (I am not familiar with those hotels, but hopefully someone else here will be). If you just want to go to Disneyland for one day and then do other stuff, I would consider staying somewhere like Newport Beach. Anaheim itself is nothing to write home about.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Courtyard Marriott Theme Park Entrance is where we stayed and is walkable to the parks (though bring or a rent a stroller at those ages). They have an awesome water park at the hotel. And agree on Newport Beach for an “OC” experience.
Anon says
YMMV but with kids that age I would do Legoland if you want a theme park. It’s way closer and easy to do for the day. Disney is pretty far and getting there and back would eat up a lot of time. There’s tons to do with kids in San Diego.
Anon says
Hey! I’m not the poster that went on the train trip but am the poster that started that thread, and this is the train: https://www.amtrak.com/pacific-surfliner-train
I’ve taken it several times to go to San Juan de Capistrano. Our family in the area uses the train frequently to go into San Diego and not deal with traffic in San Diego. As the other posters mentioned, you will need a car (or Uber) to get around San Diego and Los Angeles. (I’ve done San Diego with just Uber before, but I had no kids with me).
Other San Diego kid-friendly things– LegoLand, sea lions at La Jolla, Old Town, the beach (even if it’s not true beach weather), San Diego safari park. As other mentioned, I would stay just outside of San Diego, not downtown. Downtown is not really kid-friendly. There is no parking and a lot of bachelor/bachelorette parties.
Anon says
Ha, that might have been me! We did a San Diego / Disneyland trip when our son was 3.5 (he’s now 8!) and took the train. We are also city people who like taking trains and are pretty familiar with it – our parents thought we should just rent a car, etc, but taking the train was part of the fun. It’s been awhile, but I think we spent 3-4 days in La Jolla, staying at a Hilton by Torrey Pines because I had points and wanted to hike. But it was a pain to go anywhere except the Torrey Pines park, and we just Ubered.you could also rent a car. I think we brought a car seat? I honestly don’t remember. I would stay in la jolla proper or in San Diego if I were doing it again. We went to the zoo and the animal park and went hiking two days. We then took the train to Anaheim. I think we took an Uber to the hotel. We stayed on property at the grand Californian which was so expensive but really amazing. I think we did 2 days at Disney which was plenty for a 3.5 year old. And yes, we booked train ahead of time, and now you need to book Disney in advance too. It was a great vacation – hope you have a fun trip!
Fake travel agent anon says
HI! That was me who just got did that trip in the last couple weeks. We flew in and landed in the morning, did 3 nights in San Diego and 4 in Anaheim. We stayed at the airport ‘Towne Suites by Marriott which I would totally recommend if you are flying in and need a place where you can immediately flop and get yourselves together after a cross country flight. We then stayed at an Airbnb by the beach (OB neighborhood, which was great). We used public transit which the kids loved. Actually, we would have one parent go with the kids on the tram/bus and the other parent would uber with all the bags.
Took Amtrak up the coast – business class is nice – and then took a bus (again, just public transit) plus about a 15 minute walk to our hotel.
Anaheim we stayed in the Fairfield Inn across the street from Disneyland (right next to the Courtyard). Didn’t have the waterpark that the Courtyard has but was fine by us. Staff were lovely, room was super clean, we could see the fireworks from our room which was awesome. Did a day at California Adventure, a day off where we chilled and played in the hotel pool and such, then a day at Disneyland. We did end up renting a car + carseats to get to the airport, but that was parking/car rental/carseat rental for a day vs. a week.
anonamama says
Sharing some good news… after a long journey of ttc and loss, I’m 13 weeks today with baby #2. We’re telling DS (3.5) this week and I’m a mix of excited/scared/nervous/wow do I really need to get my maternity clothes from the attic?!? I took a bit of a break from posting but always enjoy this hive :)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Congratulations!!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Aww congratulations!
Vicky Austin says
Congratulations! That’s so wonderful!
Anon says
Congratulations!!
Sciatica says
Y’all… my office chair is absolutely wrecking my back. I’m 28 weeks pregnant and sciatica is real (was so bad for pregnancy #1 and #2 is just ramping up). I have a standing desk, but standing isn’t offering any relief. What’s a girl to do? Any random pillows or magic potion you can recommend to make the next three months not completely suck? Reality is that no chair is great, not at home nor at the office, but for my car’s driver’s seat, which doesn’t seem to be a big trigger. I’m most comfortable laying down, which doesn’t fly when I’m not WFH (80%+ of my week).
The good news is that as soon as I delivered DD the sciatic pain magically vanished. Here’s hoping the same happens this time around.
busybee says
I had sciatica with my daughter and stretching is what helped me the most. It went from debilitating to just an occasional ache. I recall one stretch being that I stood with my arms against a wall and slowly lowered my torso down. I think another was cat-cow? That first stretch was so painful it literally took my breath away, but it also helped immensely.
Anon says
Not sure if you are still tracking this, but I have to put in a plug for a chiropractor. There are two types of sciatica, one involving a disc and one due to the muscle in your rear/leg pressing on your nerve. If it’s the latter, a good chiropractor can show you where to put TENS pads on your body to help relieve the pain. Epsom salt baths at night were shockingly effective for me too. I agree with the poster about the stretches. But also, they do sell sciatic pain seat pillows that are supposed to help.