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This might be a massive improvement over my old purse organizer. I have a large Longchamp Le Pliage, and while it could hold a ton of stuff (I could do an overnight business trip with one), it also became a black hole.
I had an old purse organizer insert, but it lacked rigid sides (so stuff would just fall out) and was way too small for my bag. This Amazon find may make its way into my shopping cart — its rigid, rectangular shape keeps everything together, and it comes in three sizes and three widths to fit your bag perfectly. There are also 13 pockets for stashing your stuff. Now, you no longer have to worry about leaky pens or melted chocolate ruining your bag!
This organizer starts at $16.95 for a medium and goes up from there, depending on the size. It also comes in 16 colors so you can match your bag as well!
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Cb says
I’ve stopped carrying purses a few years back unless I’m going to interview a politician or something and then it’s just a small leather bag. I like the aesthetics but a Fjallraven backpack is appropriate for my corner of academia and easier on my body.
New job update – I’ve spent a few days in new city and really like it. The people in the department seem great (invited me over for dinner which would definitely not happen in home uni) and I found a room to rent in a walkable location. Husband is trying for a secondment at some point, so we can try living here for a year and see how we like it but all my teaching is on Monday and Tuesdays so hopefully the commute won’t be too bad for now. Schools seem complicated – divided by community with only a few integrated schools. And neighbourhoods are tricky but I got some advice.
Anon says
Love seeing your updates about your new job, Cb – keep them coming. Hope you have a good rest of your week!
Curious says
+1 please keep them coming!
Pogo says
I know, I’m excited for you!
Boston Legal Eagle says
I have the Longchamp Le Pliage too and I just throw everything in there. An organizer would defeat the purpose of it being lightweight for me! And good to hear on the new job! Is your schedule fly out Sunday, come back Wednesday now? That’s really not bad and gives you a few nights to yourself.
Cb says
Yep although some rumour that academics aren’t supposed to be in office on non teaching days due to Covid so if that’s the case, only Sunday through Tuesday for now. Hoping to leave late afternoon Wednesday which could let me pick up from nursery en route home or meet kiddo and husband for dinner in the city before heading home.
I haven’t been to a wedding in 2 years says
Im going to an (all-vaccinated) outdoor afternoon wedding in early October in Connecticut. What do I wear? I used to live there but have no memory of how cold it is in October. I’d be tempted to do something long for warmth but that seems at odds with an afternoon wedding unless I go for a maxi dress vibe instead of formal. It’s also a Orthodox Jewish wedding, so I’ll want some sort of shoulder coverage (planned to take a pashmina at a minimum). Anybody seen anything? I’m open to rent the runway. Thanks!
Pogo says
If it’s truly Orthodox, not just conservative, I’d think you’d want actual sleeves and skirt past your knees anyway, no? If you are looking at RTR, I would check out Tadashi Shoji.
Anon says
early october can be unpredictable, anything from 70s to 50s. I think something with sleeves that COULD go with tights if need be would be appropriate. If it’s unusually chilly I’m sure most people will be in coats over their clothes anyway.
Anon says
I just went to a wedding this weekend. SO hot from 4-6pm and then got chilly pretty quickly. I forgot fall weather varies a lot. In October I would definitely bring at least a long sleeve cardigan and maybe a pashmina.
Can you wear a jumpsuit? That is fine for a late afternoon wedding.
I haven’t been to a wedding in 2 years says
Ooh I like this idea! I had just defaulted to a dress since that’s what I always wear. And Boden has a bunch on sale right now – including some sleeved options.
Anonymous says
If it’s actually Orthodox, women will most likely be in skirts (knees or below).
ElisaR says
i just had a flashback to a Connecticut wedding I attended one October in a snowstorm….. (freak weather circa 2010? 2011?)
Anon says
2011…huge snowstorm at the end of October. I was looking at venues the afternoon before it started. Then I got married a year later on the same weekend, thinking freak weather wouldn’t happen two years in a row, and it was superstorm Sandy!
anon says
I’m in Boston so slightly cooler depending on where you are in CT (inland or coastal will also make a potential big difference). But, in October it could be 70 or it could be 40. Only rely on the 5-day window in the future forecast. I’d probably opt for a dress at this point (bonus if you could throw tights on if you absolutely had to) and then start planning for an array of layers you’d be comfortable wearing – from wrap/pashmina kind of thing to sweater to a jacket. I’d recommend a wrap of some kind for any portion that you’re seated in case you need to cover your cold legs.
Anonymous says
+on wild October weather. Our wedding in PA in mid-October was 70 degrees but temperature quickly dropped (indoor reception). Our friends got married in Maryland the following year, same weekend. It was no joke 45 degrees. I wore my black wool dress coat and was cold with my dress underneath. They did not spring for heaters for the outdoor tent. I’d plan on a dress with sleeves and bring a coat.
Anonymous says
As others have said, if actually Orthodox, I would suggest at minimum a knee-length skirt, covered shoulders (by your shirt/dress, not only a pashmina), and no plunging neckline. Depending on how religious it is, you might want to do a higher neckline and longer skirt, or at least tights with a below-the-knee skirt.
Weather I think can be super variable, so I think you need to have a few options or at least layers that work.
Pogo says
Somewhat low stakes question – preschool offers Tae Kwon Do classes 2x a week. You pay an extra $50/month and I don’t know what the kids who didn’t sign up do – probably just free play I’d guess. Uniform is also a one time $35. So, it’s something but not going to break the bank.
They got to a do a free trial session the other day and LO was all in, so excited. Then 24 hours later when he saw me filling out the form and the check he was like ‘Nooooo I don’t want to’. I then tried to hand in the form anyway at school, figuring he would change his mind yet again. Still a vehement No.
Since he is 4, his moods and likes/dislikes change so frequently I’m not sure how much weight to put on this. Should I sign him up anyway, assuming that once the rest of the class is in their little uniforms and going to the gym he’ll wish he had signed up? Worst case is he still refuses and then I’m just out $85.
I haven’t been to a wedding in 2 years says
My four and six year olds just started and both love it! Four year old was initially resistant but is now super stoked to go. FWIW, they go on Saturday mornings so no peer pressure (just parent pressure!)
Anonymous says
If you don’t mind risking $85, I’d sign him up for the first month. Even if he says he doesn’t want to do it, he is likely to feel left out when the rest of the class goes.
Mommasgottasleep says
I think it’s funny how often our lives are in sync. We started our 4 y/o in jiu jitsu last spring. He likes it fine. One of his buddies quit, and once he realized that was an option, he’s talked about quitting daily. We just told him it’s not up to him: it is good to have discipline and exercise your body. I’d sign him up. As someone else said: if many in his class are doing it he will likely want to and feel left out afterward if you opt out. The last couple of weeks I’ve repeated “I hear you that you want to quit. That’s not an option. I’m proud of how hard you worked today.” He seems fine with it once I say that.
No Face says
Question: why not let him quit and do another activity?
yes space maybe? says
Can we talk about TINY playrooms please? FTM thinking of using a section of our dining room (main level in our colonial has only living room, dining room, kitchen, all small) for baby. Literally the available space is 5×8. What does a baby need in this “yes space” – am I ok with just some gates, soft blanket on floor, and very basic toys? What about when they’re a toddler?
I’d like to put the baby down for a short period while I do dishes, prep meals, etc.
Thanks, all!
Pogo says
We have this in our dining room! I use the North States Baby Gate to build a 5×8 space for baby. I think I bought the hexagon playpen and then added two extra panels to make a rectangle. Under it I have a foam/cushy mat thing (I’ll post the link to the exact one we have). It is filled with toys. It worked until my oldest was really toddlering around – more like 18mos/2 years when we moved to using it to block off the entire den area and babyproofed that. We’ll see how it goes with our youngest who is only 1 and not walking so he’s pretty good with this size area still.
Pogo says
https://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/baby-care-baby-reversible-playmat-in-renaissance/1060180742
TheElms says
I think the answer depends on how your family lives and what other play spaces might be available down the road. I think a 5 by 8 space for a baby is fine but it isn’t likely to work past baby’s first birthday (or whenever your baby becomes a fast crawler / learns to walk). If you don’t have another play space that you’re prepared to spend a substantial amount of time in during the toddler years I would go ahead and babyproof the entire living room and gate it off if you can. Our family room is open to our kitchen with no practical way to gate it off so we basically split the house in half and baby proofed the eat-in kitchen / family room and gated off the dining room/ front door area. At slightly over two, kiddo has full roam of the gated section and is pretty safe there unsupervised. Yes, she can climb on the couch and jump off but I’m mostly worried about preventing more serious injuries.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, I’d focus on babyproofing your main living areas as a tiny playpen will only help for a few months as I don’t know any toddler who would be ok with being confined and they get to the toddler stage quickly. We blocked the kitchen for our first but for our second, this wouldn’t have really worked in our house (and he wasn’t quite as adventurous) so we babyproofed the kitchen cabinets instead, as well as strapping heavy furniture and TV.
anon says
+1
We used the plastic hexagonal gates with the ubiquitous foam puzzle tiles for our twins from probably 6-12 months, mostly so that we had a place to put them down where we didn’t need to worry about them getting knocked over by our dog. Once they were crawling they had no interest, so we just gave them free range of the living room because we also didn’t have a dedicated playroom.
AnonATL says
Same here. Hexagonal evenflo playpen with the skiphop foam mat in it until he started really crawling. After that, we took apart the playpen panels and used them to block off the den as his “playroom”. My son (1yo) only likes being in there with a parent so most evenings we typically give him free range of the downstairs while we are cooking or doing dishes. Usually one parent chases him and the other does dinner/dishes. He’s walking now fwiw.
Our current playroom has the foam mat, a sofa, a few baskets of toys, and a kid-sized table we just got secondhand. I would say the den is probably like 10×10.
Anonymous says
What age? Until about 10 months I would just drop baby into one of those plastic hexagonal playpens with some toys. Depending on your floor you might want a foam mat. After that we gated off the family room from the kitchen, babyproofed it, and let her roam around in there. We kept a couple bins of toys under the coffee table. If you go this route, make sure all your furniture and your TV are strapped to the wall.
Anonymous says
I live in an NYC apartment, so the whole concept of a dedicated play space is somewhat alien to me. The whole apartment is a playroom. But we just babyproofed most living areas – the baby is going to want to be wherever you are anyway. Until he was mobile (9 months I think?) we just plopped him in a bouncy seat or on the floor on a rug with toys. Or in a johnny jumper in the doorway. Once he started moving we babyproofed and gated off our long entry hallway (where bikes and litterbox were) and a room meant to be a dining area that we used as a workshop/art/sewing studio space. When he was older he got a corner of that space too but we went in there with him. In the kitchen, we kept only non-breakable stuff in areas he could reach, and we let him play in the tupperware cupboard a lot. He also enjoyed splashing in the sink. We used the open dishwasher door as a table surface for some messy play activities too.
CCLA says
Even though it will have a limited lifespan, I appreciated having the closed off safe space for baby for the first year-ish. We used some of those gates and made a rectangle with a foam mat inside. Anything that went in there was safe for baby to have alone, so lots of board books to start, stacking rings, and a few other toys, but no blankets for young baby because I wanted to be able to leave her in that space and walk away without monitoring for several minutes at a time. By the time they’re a toddler you’ll want to reevaluate, for us in an apt at the time where the play area was just along one wall of the main living/dining area, we just got a set of shelves with bins for toys and a nugget.
HSAL says
FYI – my beloved kids’ Old Navy masks seem to be coming back in stock, so check regularly. Right now they have a navy and holiday set that I can actually buy, and two other sets that give me an error message when I click on them. But progress!
IHeartBacon says
Thanks!!! Just ordered the navy and holiday ones! I see they now have adjustable straps; maybe that’s why they phase out the old version.
CCLA says
THANK YOU!! These are my kids’ fave and we were feeling stuck!
anon says
Oh man, I just ordered from ON yesterday and didn’t see anything. :( Guess I’ll be making another order, but mainly, I’m thrilled they’re coming back!
Anon says
I’m in the final rounds for a remote position with a global company. I would primarily work with the US team members, but meetings in the early mornings (6am or 7am) would happen once a week or so to touch base with team members from India. Other off hour meetings could occur every so often as well.
I worked remotely throughout the entire pandemic and learned to really like it. I’m now back in the office, butt in seat 8:30-4:30. EST and two young kids in daycare.
Anyone else have experience with working with global team members and how that has affected family life?
Anonymous says
It depends on what you mean by “team members.” My husband works with a lot of contractors in India, and their work schedules are set up to allow for meetings during US business hours. If you are dealing with colleagues rather than contractors I’d expect less accommodation of the time difference.
Pogo says
Both DH and I work with global teams and always have. I have a standing 9:30pm with Asia once a month, and ad hoc 7am or sometimes 7 or 8pm meetings. DH is more likely to have 6 or 7am’s – he has one standing 7am. We try to invite the other person’s work calendar for anything that is outside of 8-6 (when we have coverage between daycare and nanny) so the other person knows that they have to be “on”. We tend to reserve this for meetings that are customer facing or when we need to present, or when we’re on with VPs and above. DH’s standing 7am is just listening mostly and he has to pipe up if he has something to add, so he can be on that call and do drop-off no problem.
Honestly we’re pretty used to it and as far as work/family balance it’s one of the easier things for us to deal with! I have found my colleagues in Asia are very flexible, and very understanding of kids in the background.
Anon. says
My husband has worked on and off with a similar global team. Occasional late evening or middle of the night calls, usually after the kids are in bed. One thing that’s worked well for us is that if he has a call in the middle of the night he sleeps in the guest room so he doesn’t wake me up at 2 AM coming to bed. His org is more of a 7-4 schedule so even when in a US centric role with US colleagues he has a standing 7 AM team call. he is mostly a listener on that call so he’ll wear headphones while helping manage the morning routine. His team and supervisor all know that he’s on but that it’s also prime parenting time and understanding when there’s background noise etc.
Mommasgottasleep says
I’ve worked with both India and Europe (first London, then Norway). I found India to be very accommodating of a US time based schedule, and Europe slightly less so (but my companies were based in Europe so I can’t complain: they were plenty accommodating for us). If you’re asking will you be expected to attend a 6AM call every week, the answer is yes. So you’ll need to plan your family life around that: get your partner to do the morning routine or have nanny come at 5:45 if you have a nanny. I was actually laughing to myself this morning about this. I’m currently unemployed but there’s pretty much no way I could get all five of us out the door in the morning. When I go back to work I’ll be employing a nanny or at least a mother’s helper. Mornings are not my jam. Good luck with the potential job!
Anon says
So this isn’t true of every organization. I’m in-house and support business lines in North America, Europe, and Asia-Pacific. I’ve had early and late calls, and if it is before or after my nanny’s hours (9-5), I just say “Oh, that’s my daughter – my nanny isn’t here yet/my nanny is gone for the day” if she’s noisy in the background while I’m talking. No one expects you to have childcare all the time, and definitely not for calls outside a normal work day.
Pogo says
Yeah, ditto. Unless as I said, it’s customer facing or presenting to VP and up, we just sorta deal with it outside of 8-6 coverage.
Anon says
DH works with Europe a lot and often has early morning calls, many of which are scheduled fairly last minute. Since my job is not like that I’m able to handle mornings and we have a nanny, but if it wasn’t/did daycare I’m not sure how much pushback he’d have of being unavailable for a 1.5-2 hour period each morning to get the kids up and dressed and out of the house etc
Anonymous says
My husband is in the US working with a team on a similar time difference. One thing that’s challenging is him feeling that he needs to stay up late so that something will be in a teammate’s inbox when they start their day so their day can be productive (he is the manager). That turns into a fair amount of late nights that are relatively hard to predict because they are so dependent on other peoples’ workflows.
GCA says
Yeah, I think the expectations of you will depend on whether you are listening in to these team meetings or leading them, whether these are external-facing client calls, etc! Also consider what your coparenting and care situation looks like – for example, I work a lot with Europe and am usually up and working from 7 or 8am, but DH works with US time zones and can thus handle mornings before 9am. (The flip side is no one is looking for me after 4pm most of the time, so I handle afterschool and daycare pickup through dinner.) If your spouse doesn’t have that flexibility, you may have to schedule coverage for important early-morning calls in advance. Honestly though, I find that everyone I work with just rolls with it if a call is outside of ‘normal’ childcare hours in someone’s time zone.
Gift ideas for a 13 year old boy? says
We are stumped as to what to buy our nephew for his 13th birthday. He likes books and plays soccer. He says he wants money/gift cards, but we’d like to get him a tangible gift too. We haven’t seen him in person in 3 years.
avocado says
Unless you know your nephew extremely well or he has requested a specific item, a tangible gift is not likely to be enjoyed. Just give him cash or a gift card to a place you are sure he likes (for my kid, that would be our local independently owned coffee shop). If you absolutely must give a tangible item and can’t get specific suggestions from him or his parents, get a nice hardcover copy of a book that was important to you as a teen or young adult and inscribe it with a personal message. He will ignore it for the next few years and then may come back and read it later.
Source: mom of 14-year-old and aunt of several teens
NYCer says
Not a mom to teens (yet), but I agree with this. I really like the book idea actually, but would still include a gift card or cash that would be immediately enjoyed by nephew.
Anon says
Could you attach a gift card to a food item? Maybe a box of cookies?
Anon says
Depends on location and and budget, but tickets to a local pro soccer game?
Strollerstrike says
I know that we touched on this during the holidays but I just need to vent real quick: WHYYYY can’t my husband’s family not check in with us before they buy gifts for our son?
They just sent us a helmet and a balance bike. He already has both of these things in his size that he will not outgrow anytime soon.
We will return it since it came with the receipt but I feel like returning every single thing that they ship here. Mountains and mountains of plastic cr*p that we do not need or have the place to store.
I understand that gifts are a love language but this doesn’t even seem like they make an effort to find something that he might really enjoy, just random stuff from amazon.
And now I feel guilty for being ungrateful…
Anon says
Co-sign, and my MIL gets very defensive about us not keeping gifts. Not just gifts for our children, but for us, too. Even when it is irrational. See eg: she gifts my husband a new pair of pajamas every Christmas. Always size L. We always return them/exchange them because he is 6-2, 240lbs. I don’t think he’s worn L since he was 17. And EVERY YEAR she tries to tell us why the size L should be fine and that his brothers wear a medium so she figured large is good and is SO ANXIOUS about whether or not the f-ing pajamas fit him.
Whereas I grew up with a mom who literally reminded us every Christmas morning “Remember, I have all the gift receipts, my feelings won’t be hurt if you want to return something!”.
Anonymous says
Oh that’s lovely, nothing like being gifted too-small clothing year after year AND being told it should fit you. Sorry you and your H are on the receiving end of that.
Anon says
So I made an amazon wish list for this reason and DH’s out of town family tend to shop off of it. It’s really helped and it’s nice because I can add things (and not just off amazon) through the year.
MIL has now gone rogue and likes to use ideas from that but then buy separately – still off amazon – so she can use special wrapping paper, but that’s a whole other problem…
Same poster says
Oh also don’t feel ungrateful! DH got a lecture from his mom about how our kids are clearly super spoiled because they don’t remember what gifts they’ve gotten from them – hence buying things inspired by my amazon list but separately (which just leads to duplicate gifts!) Kids are 6, 4 and 2! And honestly holidays and birthdays are a bit of a cluster! I try to remind them who gave what – and the older ones write thank you notes! But this may be something where you just can’t win.
OP says
This might be a good idea. I have tried modelling by asking them what their kids/cousins would like but they never responded to it.
What makes it worse is that we live overseas so in addition to all the packaging we are also shipping useless stuff halfway around the world.
I will try the wish list and hope that it catches on!
Anon says
Great! I’ve found it really useful for aunts and uncles and basically anyone out of town too!
Anonymous says
hahaha yes!! and a MIL who is focused on QUANTITY of gifts. Like he needs to have 4 gifts just from MIL/FIL because he is turning 4!! Why does he need a paw patrol throw pillow (xmas gift 6(!) last year) [“Aren’t they cute – I just knew the kids would love them….” GAH. Thoughts on using the pillow in the guest room?
I know I sound like an ungrateful monster. In fairness, she usually does awesome on one gift – how can I get her to just stop there and not top it up with all kinds of extra crap? We have a v. small house! And yes – I have literally said out loud that we want to limit the number of gifts.
AwayEmily says
We also have the quantity issue. One present is fine! there are HUGE diminishing returns after one!
anon says
MIL individually – INDIVIDUALLY – wraps about $200-300 worth of clothes each Christmas for our daughter (only grandkid). Do you know how much clothing that buys at Target/Walmart/Carters (outlet, to boot) for an ultimate bargain shopper? She thinks the quantity is fun and funny, and then we end up opening it for DD after the first three because clothes are boring to a kid! Grinds my gears, man.
Anonymous says
OMG. this made me laugh out loud. How many shirts do you have that say SASSY! (ugh).
Anonymous says
Lol I give my nephew $200 worth of clothing every birthday but that’s like three fancy items.
Anon says
Oh, both sets of grandparents do this for us. They love the kids! But yea, I’m trying to direct it to others things… My husband handles his parents by telling them he pre-emptively goes through the kids gifts and throws out things in advance if they are essentially crap. I love him for this and for the fact that I don’t have to handle his side of the family (for gifts).
I do not take this line with my parents, just by the way. They are more receptive to paying for experiences – Grandma pays for your horseback riding lessons! – or actual things the kids need – brand new running shoes! These things are $$ and the kids actually use/like them
anon says
Don’t feel guilty. It’s not a gift; it’s a burden. MIL also has the problem of buying too much stuff. The saving grace is that she actually asks for ideas and follows them. I’d be PO’d if it were on me to return a balance bike that I already owned!
Paging PDs says
Any public defenders on this board? How is it with kids? I have an opportunity that is sort of my dream, but worry that it might be pretty inflexible with being in court all the time – what happens if your kiddo is sick, etc?
Anonymous says
Why do you want to become a public defender and what do you imagine your days will be like? It is definitely not Perry Mason.
Anonymous says
On the other side, but with similar schedule. Yes it’s hard. I take it one day at a time. There are moments when I am in an impossible situation and have to call in my network to help either on the work front or the kid front (I’m a single parent). Having a partner who can help is great. Most prosecutors and defense attorneys have kids — somehow we all make it work. If it’s your dream job (and you’ve previously worked in the field in an internship or similar), then I say go for it! The intangibles of doing work you really care about are worth it.
Anon says
I am an appellate defender. I specifically chose not to do trial work because of my desire to have children (and I prefer appeals). I think it would only be possible to do if your spouse had a very flexible job, you had a nanny, and/or some sort of family help nearby. That said, people do pull it off with kids, but it’s jurisdiction and office dependent. Some PD offices are not family friendly.
PD Spouse says
My husband is a PD and I am in big law. We have one kid under one in daycare but so far it’s working out. I think what your day to day is like really varies depending on how well staffed and resourced your county is. There are pros and cons to the job.
Pros:
– Husband can leave everyday at 5pm no questions asked.
– There was nothing but support for him taking his full paternity leave and then some, as everyone else did in the office male/female.
– he has lots of vacation and sick time and there is no penalty for using it. He often will cover for others who have sick kids and then requests coverage if our kid is sick.
– besides trials, he does not often work nights or weekends. He can plan his schedule and if he does need to, he knows in advance.
Cons:
– my job is actually more flexible overall surprisingly. I tend to be default for sick days and he will handle his court appearances and then come home to switch off.
– although he can leave at 5, with commute, that’s still sort of late to get a baby from daycare for our preferences so I do kid pickup daily and he really only gets an hour or so a night with kid. I stop work early and work after kid bedtime.
– weeks he has had a trial have been VERY hard for me but we hired a teenager to help a couple mornings a week for those times (before delta). He doesn’t have that many jury trials though.
This has worked really well for our family although we originally thought he would be more of the default parent. WFH for me and my own preferences have shifted that more than I expected.
Anonymous says
+ 1 million to it “really varies depending on how well staffed and resourced your county is.” In many places there aren’t enough attorneys, there are hardly any investigators, and there are zero social workers or mitigation specialists. In some offices attorneys have to cover the front desk when the receptionist is out. A lot of your schedule will depend on how well the court runs its docket. I have been to places where it’s routine for defense attorneys to spend one or two days a week just sitting in calendar call, which does not advance the cases and often runs well past 5:00. You may also spend a ton of time waiting around to see clients in jail. I would never, ever become a public defender unless I had a spouse who earned enough money to hire at least a nanny and possibly other household help, and who was willing and able to be the one with the schedule flexibility.
All of this is assuming that by “public defender” you mean a PD in an actual PD office. If you want to take on contract or appointed work, that is a whole other can of worms.
Anon says
I’m a prosecutor so, hello from across the aisle haha. Obviously not sure if there are major differences in PD life v. AUSA life but from my perspective my job is pretty flexible for a lawyer job (no clients, no partners, I’m in charge of my own cases/schedule) and have a lot of autonomy. Trial weeks are really tough. Otherwise in terms of court appearances and hte like, in my office often you can get someone to cover for you. I’ve also just told my husband that court is my non negotiable; I cover every other time the kids are sick, nanny needs to leave early, etc., in exchange for him knowing that when it comes to my court schedule he’ll just have to deal / hire a sitter (he has a “big” job, but is not in law/no clients so generally can make things work). On the one hand I’ve made it nearly 7 years into working parenthood with this setup, on the other hand I’m seriously considering quitting / going part time due to stress, so. Shrug. If it’s truly your dream I think you should do it.
Anonymous says
Public defenders have clients, federal practice is waaaaaay different from state practice, and public defenders have very little control over their schedules.
gift idea help! says
Good presents “from new baby” for a five year old boy and 6.5 year old girl? Obviously they know they aren’t from the baby, but I want to get them something anyways…
Anonymous says
Matching family PJs? My kids always love those.
Mary Moo Cow says
Magformers or magnatiles, Barbie, Bluey playsets, American Girl outfits or accessories, sticker books, Bruder trucks, Breyer horses… I would go for something totally fun that is also not baby appropriate so they know it is theirs and theirs alone. (And I say this as someone who usually gives books and other boring stuff!)
anon says
My kids age difference is less, but the concept might work. Around the same time #2 came home, older LO got some of the Target version of American Girl, and he loves it. Because the pieces are so small, it became his special only-when-baby-is-napping toy. It gave him something to look forward to, and a concrete time to play (and pick up after!) the pieces. Plus, it gave him a reason to let. baby. sleep. without me yelling = WIN. They have some cute BBQ sets and boy dolls in addition to the more typical doll sets.
Anon says
Cameras. The baby gets a lot of attention and people wanting pictures, so giving older kids a camera lets them be part of the action.
VTech KidiZoom is a low tech digital version (although you have the option to save them to your computer I think?).
The Instax camera is a big hit with my 6 year old, just be prepared to go through film like crazy. I bought a large pack of film and an album to hold the pictures, and he has been surprisingly stingy with his film, and surprisingly good at the photos he’s taken. Plus he’s so proud to show his album off.
OP says
These are great – thanks all!
Anon says
What toys are popular with 9 year old boys?
Anonymous says
Lego kits with a million pieces, especially themed ones.
Anonymous says
Themed Lego sets with a zillion pieces.
Anne-on says
Electronics or gift cards are the preference in my son’s 4th grade class, but for physical toys, the adult style of legos are popular (but $$). Nerf guns, bakugans, beyblades, remote controlled cars or drones, and sports equipment all go over well. This is also a good age for the strategy board games or things like a coding set, or model building set.
Anonymous says
co-sign all of this, and add snap circuits. For specific game recs, my son’s current favorites are Uno, Rack-o, Stratego, and the 24 game math puzzles. He also really likes Rubik’s cubes (we have various sizes in addition to the traditional 3×3).
AwayEmily says
Looking for ideas for a weird time chunk…my preschooler is dropped off at 8 but my kindergartener doesn’t start til 9. Her school is about five minutes away (there’s no before-care right now due to COVID). She does well with routine, so I’d love to have something regular, and ideally that lets me catch up on AM emails while she does it. Maybe a craft that she only works on during that time, something her brother is too little for…ideas?
Anonymous says
Reading time. Find an early chapter book series she likes and check every volume out of the library. Set her up in a comfy chair.
At that age crafts tend to result in periodic interruptions with demands for help, even if they are mostly capable of working independently.
Anonymous says
Screen time.
Anon says
Is she the type of kid who needs to finish what she starts in one sitting or can she come back to it? What about that craft where you put those tiny beads on plastic things in different shapes and then iron them? We still have a few years until kindergarten but it’s kind of nice yours starts at 9am, ours is at 7:30!
anon says
+1 to Perler Beads (or whatever knockoffs are currently around) if she has the fine motor skills for it.
Re start times, it’s interesting how much it varies. My kid’s K is 9:15-3:30, but there are other schools in our district that are 7:40-1:5!
Anon says
ours is 7:30-2:50, which I guess does follow the theory that middle schoolers actually do tend to naturally wake up later than younger kids. i went to private school as a kid and we had 8:20-3:20 (not sure what the deal with the ’20) was
AwayEmily says
Oooo, Perler beads are a great idea. I’m not sure if her fine motor is up for it but I’ll give it a shot.
Anon says
Is there a local park where she can play while you sit on a bench and scroll your phone? She gets wiggles out (and maybe has a snack) so she can focus on school, and you get a chance to catch up on emails.
Or if you can do without the email checking, maybe a packed picnic snack to eat in the car and chat together? When I’m in between weird sports practice schedules, I’ll let the straggler kid come sit in the passenger seat (while parked) and it’s amazing what they’ll talk about. It’s crazy, but those stolen moments have deepened our bond way more than anything else I’ve done. I think it’s a combo of the forced proximity and my undivided attention that just lets them open up more than usual.
AwayEmily says
I really like that idea. I probably can’t do it every day (issues with after-care means that our workdays are compressed on both ends, so I need at least some of that time back) but maybe I could designate one morning as time for just the two of us to hang for a bit.
Anonymous says
I’ve searched but am not really finding an answer. Moms of only children, what has lead to you finally be at peace with this decision? I have one amazing 2.5 year old boy. I’ve made lists and lists of pros and cons, but I still feel so conflicted about either decision. My husband is leaning toward just one, and I’m on the fence. It comes down to having so many practical reasons to stick with one child, and so many emotionally reasons to two to have more than one. So, I appreciate any words of wisdom or stuff that helped tip the scales for you one way or the other. Thank you!
Anonymous says
You don’t have to make a firm decision now. I was absolutely certain I was done having children about halfway through my pregnancy, and we got rid of all our baby gear when our daughter was 2.5, but my husband wasn’t totally on board with being one and done until she was 6 or 7. If our lives had turned out differently, there is a very very small chance I might actually have been interested in having another when she was 8 or 9.
Reasons our child is an only:
– 9 months of hyperemesis
– Our bad decision to send me to law school instead of grad school limited us financially for the first several years of her life
– When our daughter was born, I realized that when I imagined myself as a mother it had always been as the mother of one little girl
– I did not want to give up parenting our daughter for 12 – 18 months or so of pregnancy (see hyperemesis, above) + demanding new baby phase
– Having another child felt like cheating on my daughter
– After she grew out of being a high-needs infant, our daughter was a very easy toddler and preschooler. We could take her anywhere and do just about anything with her. We didn’t want to mess that up.
– We saw other parents struggle with difficult children and knew that we just weren’t equipped to deal with a challenging kid (ADHD, serious health problems, behavioral issues, etc.).
– We wanted to be able to devote all of our attention and resources to our daughter.
– I didn’t want a boy.
– High statistical risk of twins, which we knew we couldn’t handle.
– Some stuff happened right around the time when it would have been reasonable to consider having a second child that made it very risky to have another.
– At some point in early elementary school my husband finally realized that he was not cut out to parent another child.
– Before we had our first child, I spent several years with an all-consuming desire to become a mother. I never felt that same yearning for a second child.
Anon says
i wasn’t sure if we wanted one or two, but ended up with twins the first go around which made the decision for us – which is probably a good thing because i’m the most indecisive person ever. if you search the archives (though i know this site is really hard to search), this has been discussed a lot and i think that there is a book people often recommend. like many things in life, there is no ‘right’ choice, just different choices and both will/can be great – just different
Anonymous says
Do either you or your partner feel strongly about only one? DH is an only because his dad was firm on one. His mom was a career woman who had her first and only kid at 34 in 1981.
Generally you defer to the partner that wants the fewest. DH wanted 4 when we first got married. I wanted more than one but undecided. I laughed at him and then reminded him of that statement when we got to kid #3 and he immediately scheduled a vasectomy. Our 3rd kid made our entire family feel complete. When #2 was born we kept feeling like she wasn’t our last.
Anonymous says
Op here – DH is fairly strongly in the one and done camp. He loved being an only child (also doesn’t have any cousins, either). DH is super outgoing and has incredible friendships that are decades long, and has an easy time making friends. So, DH is like a “successful” only child. I have two brothers and they are the opposite of my husband – hard time making friends, much, much less outgoing. I have a deep fear that my son will be more like my brothers than DH – a little lonely and not having many friends. I KNOW that a sibling doesn’t automatically mean a friend, but my son also is unlikely to have any cousins, and at this point, no cousins close in age. I don’t think I have some incredible bond with my brothers, but we also don’t hate each other. All of the things CB mentioned are all the pros/practical reasons for having one.
I also have so many friends who are pregnant now or just had babies and I miss some aspects of that. I did NOT like the newborn stage, but seeing where my son is now, part of me thinks I could do it again. I also have spent most of my life reaching for the top/most difficult goals, so only having one child seems like I’m not challenging myself or reaching my full potential. I know that’s a terrible reason to have a second child, but it doesn’t make that feeling that I’m not living up to my potential go away. Ugh.
Anonymous says
Do not have another child out of competitiveness!
Anon Lawyer says
I’m dealing with these decisions right now too, and two things have been helping me. One is what my mother told me – there are always a million reasons not to have a child logistically, financially, and practically. The only real reason to have one is that you really, really want one. I would have moved heaven and Earth to have my first; right now, I don’t feel that way about a second. It doesn’t sound like you do either to me?
Second, I keep telling myself I don’t want to make this decision out of fear. The reasons you gave for having a second child sound fear based to me (and those are mine right now too). You could do it again, but the real reason you’re giving for why you would is because you’re afraid of what would happen if you don’t (your kid would be alone, you will feel like a failure). It’s ok to make your choices based on hope, not on fear. (And we could all give examples of what could go wrong having a second too).
Anon says
Ugh, whatever you would consider an “unsuccessful” only child would not be that way because of their number of siblings.
Anony says
There are a lot of practical reasons that made me think that we should stick with one, but my peace actually came from an emotional one. Before I had my child, I felt like I was missing someone I’d never met. But after, that feeling and drive didn’t come back for me. I wanted to have a baby so much, and then I had one, and my heart felt full. I’m certain my heart would grow to love a second baby just as much, but emotionally, I already feel complete.
Cb says
Oh I love having one! But I’ve always known I wanted one kid. I think for me, it gives us a lot of flexibility. I can take the job in the other city, we bought a 3 bed house, we drive a civic, planes and trains are more affordable. And I just like our little trio, we don’t have to divide and conquer so our weekends are all family time, as opposed to one parent going to soccer practice and the other going to a birthday party.
I do feel our family is complete, my husband might be broodier than I am, but is convinced by logic.
anon says
I have two, and always wanted two, but now seeing the difference with one v two- a few thoughts. A friend who was one-and-done loves it. The things they love and their lifestyle is a great fit — she loves clothes shopping for her only daughter; they go on many outings like blueberry picking, etc., have dance and swim lessons, etc etc. Her daughter is very mild-mannered and naturally well-behaved. My friend would NOT want to swap lives for mine with the chaos of two. I love it, and it fits me and my family. But one thing I didn’t really get before is how much the jump from 1-2 can mean everything becomes much more child-centric. With one, you can kind of keep doing a lot of what you did before, and they’re out of the baby/toddler phase pretty quickly. With two, it feels like one is always having some kind of sleep issue that makes post-bedtime plans tentative at best. Outings, for me at least, are harder so we stick around home more (part of that is also that #2 was right before covid lockdown). And we’re still in toddler phase and not taking the 1.5 and 3.5yo anywhere fancy unless necessary; my friend could probably do things like take her 4yo to a nice restaurant. It really depends on what you find fun! I’m a homebody that is thrilled to sit on my porch while they make a mess together. Again, this may not be true for everyone, but FWIW!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yeah, I feel like more than one kid puts you in the kid centric lifestyle a lot more than 1. Not saying that 1 kid = childfree lifestyle! But they do become more of a tag along/independent, while with 2, it’s harder to do anything other than focus on the kids especially when they are young. And I say this as a “successful” only child (ha! at least I think so) with 2 kids of my own. Also think hard about what having two kids will mean for your relationship and parenting dynamic with your husband. If he only wants one, will you be taking the brunt of childcare for two and are you ok with that? More kids = a lot more work and more hands on deck needed.
AwayEmily says
I think this is all right on. I have a lot of friends with just one kid who just do so much fun stuff — they travel, explore, do classes and are always trying new things. That’s all possible with two, of course, but it’s definitely more of a challenge (especially if you’re hardcore about sleep/routine like we are), so we tend to default to just puttering at home a lot. But puttering at home has always been one of my favorite things, so I’m very okay with that.
TheElms says
I’m an only, DH is one of two. It took us a long time to decide we wanted one child and we thought for sure we were one and done. I felt that way for the first year. I was pretty certain our family was complete. I even gave away the teeny tiny baby clothes! But then even though I could make the list of all the practical, logical reasons (private school for one is doable if that’s what we want, much greater ability to travel, less career impact for me, greater ability to retire early, parents can trade off and don’t get as tired, no scheduling constraints from siblings, etc) that one was better for us, around kiddo’s first birthday both DH and I kept thinking that perhaps we should have a second or at least think about it. It made no sense to us whatsoever since we had a long list of reasons we should not have a second, but then, there we were discussing having a second and somehow it just felt like the right decision. We sat with the decision for about 6 months because we wanted to be sure. And then it took longer than we expected to get pregnant so we had that extra time to be even more sure. I’m 14 weeks pregnant now, and older kid is 28 months so they will be about 3 years apart when baby no.2 shows up. I still have moments where I’m terrified that I’ve made the wrong decision, and I’m concerned about how much our life will change with two versus one (our life changed with our first kid but it settled down and felt very manageable with one), and what it means for my career (biglaw). So I guess for us the emotional reason of just not quite feeling like our family was complete carried the day. I still find it hard to explain and our families were shocked when we told them. All that said, if either one of us had really only wanted one child, we would have absolutely stopped at one. The most important thing to both of us was that we were on the same page and that it was a joint decision / choice. I’m pretty confident we are going to find the transition from 1 to 2 much harder than 0 to 1 but I’m setting expectations very very very low and hoping to be a bit pleasantly surprised. And we know we are in it together and we’ll figure it out as a family.
So tired... says
I’m 29 weeks pregnant and about 2.5 months into a new job. I still feel like I’m in the “need to prove myself” phase, but I’m also REALLY REALLY EXHAUSTED. I WFH (luckily), and have about 4 good hours in the morning where I feel almost like a normal person, but then crash in the afternoon and feel barely coherent on Zoom calls all afternoon.
Any tips or tricks on maintaining energy? Advice on leaning out without making it obvious? My manager’s been supportive with the whole upcoming leave piece, but I haven’t talked to him about this yet…
Anon says
I wouldn’t talk to your manager about how tired you are. They either already suspect or likely won’t understand. (This coming from an exhausted checked out person who’s about to have a fourth). I DO sometimes go hide and take a nap in the afternoon in our wellness room for forty minutes – I’m in person – but other than that I like to at least pretend I’m productive. It is just tough.
I have a soft drink in the afternoon and make sure to have frequent snacks. A quick walk around the office can be helpful. But yeah, I would say all four of my pregnancies (and several months post-partum) were just not awesome professional periods for me. I’m sorry you’re having this issue!
Anonymous says
No don’t tell him you’re tired. Like 50% of people are tired at any point in time for various reasons. I’ve had two so I know pregnancy exhaustion is real. But FWIW in both my pregnancies I was insanely tired 29-31 weeks, baby really starts to pack on pounds then. But energy came back (mostly) after that. Try to take a nap or just close your eyes over your lunch?
Curious says
I don’t know any women who made it through this period without hiding for an afternoon nap.
So tired says
Thank you all!
Silver Spring says
It’s me again, the poster who is house hunting in the DC suburbs. How did you all decide it was time to pull the trigger on a house? We know we’re never going to find a place that checks all the boxes at our price point, but we just haven’t felt like we found “the one” yet. Since the market moves so quickly here, houses don’t stay on the market for more than a couple of weeks so we can’t really compare two or three against each other. Any advice/stories? Thank you!
Anon says
ok, so i am not in the DC area but literally just closed on a home today. i am the type of shopper who ideally would like to look at many many houses, compare them all, and then choose. this is how i shopped for a wedding dress and generally like to make decisions in life. (explore all options to find the one that is the best…i’m clearly a maximizer, which is not good for the house hunting process). obviously this is not how the housing market works. we started looking in february and put in our first offer in april (lost out), another offer in june (lost out) and ended up getting 3rd offer on a 3rd house in august. there is also the part of me that wants to keep looking at real estate listings, to make sure we got the best one we could, which i also know is a bad idea. i posted a lot on this and the main board during the process, and the best advice i got, was figure out the the house must have (whether it be a certain school district, number of rooms, etc.) and what are dealbreakers, though interestingly enough we bought a house that has one of my ‘deal breakers.’ in our case, i honestly probably could’ve looked for longer, but DH wanted to start looking for houses about a year before i did and he was very much at the end of his rope. given the type of decision maker i am, i kind of had to reframe the question from “is this the perfect house” to “will this house work well for our family for at least the next 5 years”. (i hope we will stay for 15+ years, but thinking about it that way was very unproductive for me). good luck!
Spirograph says
After losing out on 10+ offers over several months, we got fed up. We put in a slightly better offer than we would have in the pre-fed up phase on the next house that checked most of our boxes, and it worked out. Still live in that house 9 years later, and very happy with it. :)
Spirograph says
Adding a bit to agree with some other posters in this thread. We had narrowed our search to 2 neighborhoods based on schools and commuter routes, and our budget was on the low end of average for those neighborhoods. Once we got fed up, we upped it by about $25k and that was the difference in a successful offer. We did not settle on any must-haves / deal-breakers, but we also didn’t get a lot of our nice-to-haves, like 4th bedroom, driveway, garage, mud room, bedrooms on the same level, spacious or upgraded kitchen & baths. I don’t miss any of them (except the mudroom, which is upgraded to a must-have for our next house now that the kids are older); we adapted to the space we were in, and some things I originally thought were less than ideal ended up working surprisingly well.
All that to say, be really clear on your on the difference between your must-haves and your nice-to-haves. You might not ever find your perfect house (and even if you do, you’re likely to be outbid around here), so keep an open mind about what can work.
Anon says
Seconding the advice about requirements and deal-breakers. We were very picky about our neighborhood, above all else, so when a house came up in our preferred area that had the right number of bedrooms and some other nice features, we jumped on it despite knowing we wouldn’t be able to live with the kitchen very long (we redid it about 6 months later). It doesn’t have the historic charm of many of our friends’ houses, but is a good space for our family and we continue to LOVE this neighborhood.
Shopper says
We’ve been looking for over a year and have found one house that felt like “the one” – it wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination and needed a lot of work, but I loved and wanted it so badly — and then we didn’t end up getting it.
Ever since then, it feels like nothing compares and I am frustrated and ready to give up.
We bought our current house when things were slightly more normal, so we were able to think awhile and go back for a second showing. I didn’t fall in love with it necessarily, but it checked our must haves and was in the right area.
Diff NoVa poster says
Different poster but moved to the DC suburbs a few years ago and then recently traded up in the same ‘burb. Unless the numbers are staggeringly in your favor, don’t buy a house you don’t love. By the latter, I think after you’ve seen many houses, you know which house you’ll want once you walk into it. It’s way too big of a purchase to go in half-hearted. Regarding the former portion of my advice (numbers in your favor), I mean if you find a great house in a neighborhood guaranteed to always be in demand, and you feel so-so about it, I’d buy it because it’s a good place to park your money if you’re deadset on building equity. You can always sell and buy something different. But, this “numbers are hard to walk away from” is a rare scenario.
Anne says
Just start visiting houses and make a house by house decision – do I want to bid enough on this house to likely get it (which in this market means to likely over pay)? If you aren’t willing to overpay for the house you aren’t going to get it and can just move on. The more houses you actually have to decide about making an offer on the more you’ll know what you want. You can also go through the comps and see if you like them better than the house you’re deciding on. If you like the comps better maybe don’t bid.
Pogo says
When we bought in the Boston burbs, it was not nearly as competitive as it is now, and we had to pull the trigger as we drove away from the showing. Our realtor had everything pulled together to send over an offer, we got a counteroffer, countered again, and had an agreement between our realtors within hours. We had lost an offer previously and so we knew where we had to be to get it.
If you don’t have major pressure to move, keep looking until you find something you love and then move FAST. It took wayyy longer than I wanted it to, but I’m glad we held out and didn’t settle.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We also moved fast in the Boston burbs, even before the insanity of today’s market. We saw it the day it went on market (Redfin listing), toured it that day and put an offer in that night.
We knew which neighborhood we wanted in our particular suburb, knew that we didn’t want a fixer upper and generally had an idea about size and space. This one hit all the boxes and we luckily got it. We didn’t do any sort of price negotiation either as our market moves too quickly for that (now houses around here are going for 50-60K over offering…)
Anonymous says
I’m in the silver spring/Rockville/north Bethesda area. My advice is don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good. Don’t wait to compare one house to another. Figure out your dealbreakers, see some houses, and jump on one you like and meets your criteria. My husband and I are exceedingly decisive though. Let me know if you need a great realtor (who beat 11 other offers on our house!). We knew we wanted x/bedrooms, new kitchen/baths, a yard, safe neighborhood with easy access to main roads. Some neighborhoods here can be very much like a labyrinth and take 10 mins to get out of the neighborhood. We saw our house for 30 mins and put in an offer immediately.
Another Silver Springer says
I just closed on a house in Silver Spring last month after losing multiple bidding wars. I agree with making a must-have list. As the home buying process dragged on that list shrunk, but it still guided our decision. Some of the things that fell off our list were minor (DH wanted a fully separate dining room – we got one that had been opened to the kitchen) and some were more significant (think: we were targeting neighborhoods A, B, C but ended up in neighborhood D next door – same schools but not 100% where we wanted because nothing seemed to come up in A, B, C in our price range). I’m ok with these compromises because the overarching feeling I got when I walked in the door of my house can best be described as “I can see myself at home here.” So, guess I agree with the gut reaction point as well :)
SF says
I have a 13 month old. second child but can you remind me how/when to wean off bottles? He drinks about 4 bottles, 20oz a day at most. and eats a ton of solid foods. He’s still on two naps so fitting in snacks is complicated. He drinks water from straw cups but refuses cold milk.
His current schedule:
7/730: wake up, 5 oz bottle
8: breakfast
9:30-11:30 nap
12: lunch
1ish: 5 oz bottle
2:30/3-4: nap
4ish: 5 oz bottle (writing it out makes me think this should be a snack)
530/6: dinner
7:30: bottle and bed
NYCer says
No idea if this is the “right” answer, but we were down to two bottles of milk (16 oz max) by 13 months. We switched to a straw cup for mornings (6-8 oz) around 14 months and for evenings (8 oz) around 15 months.
Anonymous says
Switch to bottle on wake up and bottle before bed first. 16 oz a day is plenty. Once that change is done, I’d switch to offering the morning milk in a sippy with breakfast and the evening milk in a sippy after dinner or after bath or with dinner.
Anon says
We weaned off bottles at 12.5 months abd switched to milk in cups. One twin protested the first two times and the other could’ve cared less. Some people i know do half milk/half formula to ease the transition or if you’ve always been warming the baby’s bottles, try room temperature milk