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I love trying new skincare and makeup products. I once had a dream that I did a full face of makeup for a wedding using only samples from Sephora. However, one constant in my skincare routine is Aveeno’s Positively Radiant Daily Face Soy Moisturizer.
This day moisturizer has SPF 15 to protect your skin from the sun (especially when layered with other SPF makeup), hydrates my normal/dry skin year-round, and evens out my skin tone with natural light diffusers.
Since I’ve been working at home, I’ve often just worn just this moisturizer with a little concealer, blush, and lip color for Zoom.
The moisturizer is available at Target for $13.99.
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Boston Legal Eagle says
I use this every morning! Love this as a moisturizer and like that it has some SPF. I haven’t worn any sort of makeup since March 2020 (and even then, it was just some BB cream as a foundation to even out my skin). Whenever we go back, I may go back to work without any makeup on, which would have been crazy to my just out of law school self.
Pogo says
I’ve been using this every day for probably 10 years, maybe more.
Also, did you realize Monday is Patriot’s Day? I just remembered and I want to poke my eyes out. Finally got both the kids back to daycare and we have a holiday!
Boston Legal Eagle says
I knowwww – daycare is off that day but there is no Marathon this year in April so I’m kind of like, why not pick another day? Luckily my husband is taking it off as I’ve got work deadlines but still. It’s not like they can go watch the Marathon or go anywhere else really.
Pogo says
yeppp. exactly.
GCA says
I remembered this year – and am taking Tues/ Wed off to recover from the long weekend! Bit sad that there’s no marathon to take the kids to & no crowd of my running friends in town.
AnonATL says
Same. Love this stuff.
Spirograph says
Me too!
Anon says
I do too, although it’s been on my to do list to find a mineral sunscreen for everyday use. I’m trying to get away from Oxybenzone. I also don’t feel like the SPF in moisturizer does that much. If I’m going to spend any significant quantity of time in the sun I have to apply real sunscreen or I notice ruddiness in my cheeks the next day (I’m very fair though).
Anon says
I love the Neutrogena Healthy Defense Sensitive Skin moisturizer. I have been using it for 15+ years and it has mineral sunscreen of SPF either 30 or 50 in it. I am also very fair, so fair in fact my dermatologist has ruled out UV light treatments for my psoriasis because I will just burn, and that moisturizer works great. When skiing or at the beach, I do not need to apply a separate face sunscreen (or reup on the moisturizer) until lunch time when I would normally reapply anyways.
Party Animal says
I work in HR in a traditionally male-dominated industry and had a very exciting win yesterday. My awesome boss has given me the go-ahead to convert a very small office into a permanent mother’s room. It’s been a few years since I pumped, and wanted to crowdsource ideas. What would your ideal mother’s room set up be? The room is very small (20 square feet at most). There are a few electrical outlets inside, and a sink just outside the door. I’ve already had the locks changed and I have a few sets of the key. I was thinking a comfortable, straight-back chair, a small table, hooks, a mirror, some cleaning wipes, and a mini fridge. I was also thinking of some kind of storage in case someone wanted to leave a few things in there? What am I missing? This is a Very Big Deal for my company and I want to do it right!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Definitely a mini fridge! When I pumped, I left my bottles and parts (bagged) in the fridge and it saved having to carry everything back and forth, or awkwardly to a lunchroom fridge. I like the mirror idea so you can see that you’re not leaking and that you put your clothes on correctly. Our room had a sink inside but unless you’re washing parts in between parts (which I stopped doing and just put them in fridge), it’s not necessary.
A comfy chair with a side table would be good. The worst part about our room was that it tended to get cold (not fun when you’re undressed!) and extremely bright. So if you have a way to adjust temperature and lighting, I think that would make the room feel nicer. Also tissues and paper towels with someone restocking these on a periodic basis.
Anonymous says
How big is your company, and how many people will be using the room? If you have more than one mom using it at a time, I’d set up a scheduling system.
The table needs to be right next to the chair and have plenty of room for a pump, parts, a phone, and a water bottle.
A microwave for sterilizing parts would be nice; it could go on top of the fridge. Get a fridge with a separate freezer compartment for ice packs. Open cubbies for storage and/or air-drying pump parts would be useful. Put paper towel dispensers inside the room and next to the sink, and dish soap as well as hand soap at the sink.
Anonymous says
To clarify–by “how many people will be using the room” I mean how many total users. At my small employer, we never have more than one pumping mom at a time. The idea of more than one person sitting in there pumping at the exact same time is horrifying.
Lily says
Can each person who is pumping at any given time possibly have a cubby in there that is just for her so she doesn’t have to cart a pump/accessories back and forth from her office and the room throughout the day? Also consider how you will run the room logistically – will there be some kind of sign-up system? I’d make sure there is some kind of white board on the outside of the door where a woman can write “occupied” (along with maybe the time she entered) so that other women don’t unlock/enter while she’s in there.
Pogo says
+1 ours has locked cubbies so you can keep all your stuff there. We also put it in Outlook so you could book it, but agree you need some kind of “occupied” note so that other women don’t walk in on you.
ElisaR says
cubby, bingo! that was my suggestion.
Anon says
Yes, you definitely need some sort of sign up system and occupied sign. Our reception who handled reserving normal conference rooms handled the logistics of the calendar for ours.
Also, annoyingly, some sort of sign or something on the fridge highlighting that it is only meant for pumping etc. so some bro nearby doesn’t start using it as his personal fridge for whatever reason.
Otherwise you have a good list.
octagon says
Our HR set up an outlook group for nursing moms and you just let them know if you wanted to be added/removed. The group had a shared calendar for scheduling time in the rooms, which made it easy to set recurring times. And we could email the group if there needed to be changes or announcements about the room.
Anon says
p.s. I would make the “occupied” sign a mechanism that happens automatically with the lock, if budget allows. I could see relying on women to remember to erase “occupied” on a white board when they leave as something that will be often forgotten, and if so it would quickly be ignored/create an awkward situation for the next woman who is pretty sure no one is in there but not sure sure.
Anon says
Good for you! Anything clean would be a win in my book. I stopped using ours in part because it was filthy and had roaches.
Anon says
That is horrifying.
Anonymous says
Good for you! Some people like to use those microwave sanitizing bags for pump parts, so maybe a microwave? I’ve used two office’s pump rooms. First was a fed gov site and was very utilitarian — had essentially what you described. There were partitions and two pumping stations. If there’s any way to squeeze in two chairs, that might be helpful if you ever have more than one pumping mom in the office. The other nice touch was a bulletin board and a basket for people to leave notes, reading materials, etc. It had badge access like the rest of the building, and you had to request to be coded for it.
Second was a major F500 media company that prides itself on family-friendliness and work-life balance. The pump rooms were awesome cozy little office dens. Big comfy leather arm chair with pillows + ottoman, end table, TV, workstation setup with office chair, laptop dock, phone. This definitely doesn’t sound feasible for your current setup, but just in case anyone else wants to dream really big. :) (I strongly suspect people also used them to take naps. They weren’t restricted access, and I’d often go in and see the ottoman pushed all the way against the chair to make a nice lounger bed.)
Anon says
If you do two chairs for two moms, definitely put some sort of curtain between them as suggested below (and maybe as implied in this post?). I did NOT feel comfortable pumping with my coworkers, was shocked to hear others did feel comfortable doing that (no judgement! Guess it just highlights how different we all are!), and felt really awkward/like an a-hole when someone asked if they could join me and I had to say no. (There was a sign up system, I had signed up rightfully for the time, and there were other times available).
Anonymous says
Oh yes, I definitely meant to imply that would be needed for two chairs! I would not have wanted to get that cozy with coworkers, although I became good friends chatting through the partition for months with another woman on roughly my same pumping schedule.
If you have only one station, make very sure that people are booking long enough to be *out of the room* by the time the next appt starts. The partition and extra chair was added in our office mostly because of that overlap time. There was major drama among the pumping moms because people would show up for their time and not be able to get started right away.
AwayEmily says
I don’t love pumping with other people either but ended up doing it a lot. Frequently at airports — there are only a few pumping rooms and inevitably when I’m in there someone knocks. I would always let them in — everyone is on such a time crunch and I figure if they’re on a layover they may not have time to wait. Same at conferences…people are rushing around trying to get to panels and it’s easier to just share the room. I wonder if it’s easier with strangers than with coworkers, though.
SC says
I’d much rather pump with strangers than with coworkers. It’s like the equivalent of a locker room–I don’t mind stripping down in a locker room, but I’ve always avoided belonging to gyms in the same building as my office, or any other situation where coworkers might see me in a locker room or, honestly, just red-faced and sweaty.
Anon at 10:12 says
I definitely think it would be easier with strangers (although to be honest I still don’t think I would, you are a nice person). For me it was specifically knowing that I would have years post this situation where me and the coworker would have to work on serious issues together, with images that one just cannot I see.
Anon at 10:12 says
*unsee, and nesting fail :/
Anon says
In Covid times, I’d want mask wearing to be a requirement for a shared room. My employer’s Covid protocols permit you to remove your mask if you’re in a room alone with the door closed (which I think is pretty common?) but air turnover in a small windowless room is likely very poor and I wouldn’t be super comfortable going into the room right now if I knew someone could have been in there right before me not wearing a mask.
anonamama says
Huge win!!! Thank you for fighting for moms!! I used one at my former company – the setup sounds similar to what you have. I liked having a recliner chair, coat rack for my blazer/sweater and a wipe-off board to leave messages, schedule and connect with other pumping moms. There was a set of lockers (but I was the only one who left my pump in there). Again, awesome work on your part.
Mary Moo Cow says
High five! I like the idea of a basket for reading material; I routinely left magazines for my fellow moms when I had finished them. Also cubbies; we used the under sink storage to stash pumping bags. It didn’t lock but we had a reservation system and a lock on the door so I believe we all thought we could trust each other.
We used an outlook calendar managed by Operations for our reservation system. We had a hospital curtain partition so 2 people could use it at the same time, and the calendar helped ensure it wasn’t over booked.
Anon says
A mirror so moms can make sure they are properly dressed again
EP-er says
The mother’s room in my building was actually in the medical area — they repurposed an exam room for us. And left the exam table. I may have napped in there once or twice…or regularly! But seriously – easy access outlet so you aren’t crawling on the floor to plug in pump/phones. Maybe a bulletin board to hang up a baby picture (know your office, but I think it would be amazing to see the babies of the women who have used the room over time. Solidarity and all… but I get why other people might think this is weird.)
Also love the idea of cubbies to leave your stuff in, although I know that if I used it there would be days I would have left my stuff in the cubby overnight. (Seriously, there were days I left my computer in the docking station. Or took the computer out of the docking station and then it didn’t quite make into my bag and was left on the desk. Those days!)
GCA says
Lots of great suggestions, but to add – here were things I found useful:
– Power outlet/ power strip (I would bring my pump…and my laptop…and charge my phone)
– Tissues, hand sanitizer, and trash bin (in the spirit of multi-tasking I also sometimes ate lunch while pumping – might not be feasible or practical during Covid)
– If there’s space, a table large enough for the pump, a laptop, and bottles so you don’t have to worry about knocking over the bottles
– Sink, if possible, for washing up
Anon says
My office pumping room has a comfy chair with footrest, but also a straight-back chair with a desk with a phone so that you could set up your laptop and/or take conference calls. It was great because you could also login to the phone system so that your desk phone would ring through (or not if you did not want to be bothered).
So Anon says
I pumped in two different offices. One was biglaw with a medical grade pump supplied by the firm, locked door, soft lighting, fridge, stocked snacks and microwave. The other was in a coat closet when I was a federal law clerk. If noise travels from inside the room to the outside hallway, I would recommend a white noise machine for the room. When I pumped in the coat closet, people would walk by and wonder what the noise was and try to open the door, jiggle the handle, etc. to see what was in the closet. Even though the door locked and I had confidence in the lock, it was hard to pump when people were wondering what the noise was.
DLC says
Definitely a power strip on top of the table. At my workplace, there were no power strips, just the outlets and you had to crawl under the table to plug in your pump. Hugely annoying.
Also- space heater was nice
Stocked with paper towels and dish soap and sponge, if someone will keep up with the maintenance.
I go back and forth on preference for table/ chair so I could work vs. comfy chair and side table so I could relax.
Ours also had a system where when you turned the light on inside the room, a red light outside the door would turn on so you knew it was occupied. It was also set up so you could only access with a key card so that only one person could be in the room at a time.
Oh, and also- for normalizing things, if your office place has directional signage for various things, make sure there is signage for the mother’s room. And make sure everyone, including the men, know where it is and how to access it.
Anonymity says
Good for you! If the room is big enough, it’s nice to have a screen between where the door is and the pumping space so if someone opens the door you aren’t visible (essentially creating a hallway into the room.
Tell me it gets better!! says
First time mom here and feeling extremely overwhelmed. Baby daughter is almost 4 weeks now and I don’t think I’ve gotten more than 3 hours of sleep a night since she arrived. She’s going through an extremely fussy stage (mostly due to gas pains, I think), feeding constantly but not sleeping more than 1hr at a stretch. Not sure what I’m looking for here – tips, commiseration, just the knowledge that it gets better? I’m already counting down to when my maternity leave ends and I can go back to work…then I’m consumed by guilt for feeling that way. I love my daughter but man do I miss my life before kids.
Anonymous says
Yes, it does get better, and sooner than you think! You are really in the worst of it right now.
Don’t feel one bit of guilt about wanting to go back to work. I had planned to take a year of maternity leave. I ended up with a high-needs baby who did not sleep unless she was held, ate constantly, and would not let me set her down long enough to eat or go to the bathroom. About three months in I just couldn’t take it any longer and told day care I’d take the first opening they had. Once she started day care, became mobile, and started eating solids to satisfy her ravenous appetite, she was a different baby, and motherhood actually became fun.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, it will get better!! The newborn stage, especially your first, is so so hard. The lack of sleep, the constant feeding, the inability to do literally anything by themselves is so hard. I promise you that she will sleep for more than an hour at a time in the future, likely very soon, although the days right now are going to feel like years. I’m not sure what your partner’s situation is, but any chance you can trade off the hours at night so that you each get some solid chunks of sleep? Like, you sleep 8-2, then you cover 2-8am, something like that. Even a few hours of sleep at a time should help. I know it’s harder if you’re b-feeding, but pumping a bottle for your partner can help.
And it’s totally fine to feel that way about mat leave. I needed the time to recover and take care of my babies, but it does get lonely and boring too. Very different from work if you’re used to being in an office. It’s also ok and normal if in 10 weeks, you feel like you didn’t get enough time at home and don’t want to go back to work. These transitions are hard.
Anon says
It gets so much better!!! 1 hour stretches of sleep is so little. Mine slept in ~3 hour stretches basically from birth and I still felt like a zombie until she started giving me one 5+ hour stretch. If you’re not wedded to exclusive breastfeeding, have your DH take some of the night feedings with a formula bottle. Or if you’re comfortable with it from a Covid perspective, bring in some help during the day so you can sleep a longer stretch then. If you’re trying to do anything like cleaning or cooking during the day, don’t. Your job is to sleep and rest as much as you can or if you can’t sleep at least do things you find relaxing. Hire out the chores and/or make DH do it.
I’m not trying to scare you, but if the problem is lack of sleep, going back to work will likely make things worse not better, so I would do everything I can to find a routine that lets you get a decent amount of sleep before you head back. If the problem is being bored/finding it unfulfilling to do newborn care all day, then going back to work should help a lot. Either way, you shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to go back!
ElisaR says
it will get better SOON. i swear it was almost unbearable for the first 6 weeks. Then six weeks, it got (marginally) better. Neither of my boys slept more than 3 hours at a time until 6 weeks. My tip is just tell yourself “hang on…. 2 more weeks”.
I still miss life before kids and mine are now 3 and 5. Doesn’t mean i don’t love them!
Anon says
the beginning is soo soo hard. I had twins and yes for the first few months i was pumping/breastfeeding on a 3 hour schedule. One of my kids did have reflux so if you are actually concerned you should talk to your pediatrician. On weekends I used to sleep through the night and DH got up with the babies. Having a newborn is also boring and hard having no one else to talk to. We live in a state with a hot climate and my pediatrician told me not to take my kids outside for more than 10 minutes (they were premies) bc it was too hot. At the beginning I was going days without even stepping outside of our apartment and i felt like i was going crazy from not breathing fresh air. I promise you it gets a million times better. You will sleep again. Your daughter will smile at you and be happy to see you and your heart will explode. You are not a bad mom for missing being at work. I used to dread time alone with my kids and honestly it’s still not my favorite but I’m no longer a hot mess at the though
AnonATL says
I remember posting something similar here around that age and I promise it gets better! Some time around 6 weeks was a big turning point for us.
Do you have a partner who you can take overnight shifts with? DH and I each took 6 hour shifts while the other was sleeping in the guest room. So I would sleep like 8-2 and then my husband would sleep 2-8 and start work (from home). Whoever was on duty could still sleep, but if baby fussed it was that person’s responsibility. If you do this, highly recommend ear plugs for whoever is sleeping.
Gas is so annoying. We tried probiotics and gas drops. They may have made a marginal difference, but I think my son just grew out of it eventually. Are you nursing or bottle feeding? You might try a different bottle, but I would tread carefully on eliminating things from your diet if you are nursing. Our pediatrician told us there isn’t much evidence that it really helps.
And don’t feel bad about wanting to go back to work! I was so excited for my maternity leave to be over and for my life to not completely revolve around my baby. It felt like I was getting a piece of myself back.
AnonATL says
Also just a quick plug for safely co-sleeping on really bad nights. There were a few nights around that age where my son would not sleep in his bassinet. I would bring him into the bed with me and kick my husband to the other room and baby would go to sleep for several hours.
We didn’t create a bad habit from it either. We Ferbered him at 12w and he’s been a great sleeper since then (now 8ish months).
Up to that point, we were in survival mode.
anonamama says
It will get better! All of these feelings are so valid. But 6-8 weeks is a turning point. Baby’s stomach will get bigger to stay fuller for longer. Soon, she will be smiling at you! I used new audiobooks and podcasts to listen to during those bleak hours of being up. This is an intense time of being needed all.the.time – you are right to want to feel like yourself again. Sending hugs!
Lise says
It gets better! I was in this boat until my son was around 10 weeks. I also desperately wanted to go back to work – at one point around 8-10 weeks, my mental health was really suffering, and the only reason I didn’t cut my maternity leave short just to get some space to myself was because I didn’t want to set that precedent for more junior women. For me, COVID isolation exacerbated a lot of this – it would have made an enormous difference to just be able to go to a coffee shop with a friend (even if my baby was grumpy), and I felt so isolated and saw work as my only possible lifeline to other people. But things changed SO MUCH. He’s 6 months old now, and being his mom is my joy. He’s so interactive, and funny, and curious. And last night, he slept over 11 hours, with just one quick 15 minute feeding after about 8. Also, the best tip I got during my kiddo’s 3-witching-hours phase (around weeks 5-9) was “take them outside or put them in water.” In the dead of winter in a pandemic, this meant bundling up and pacing on the balcony, but there was something magical about drastically changing the environment.
Anonymous says
If you have a partner, you should definitely be getting 9 hours a night broken up into 3 hour stretches if you are nursing. DH got up when baby woke up, changed diaper, brought me baby, I sat up in bed and nursed (or lay down when baby learned to nurse sidelying), then he settled baby again. Sometimes that involved walking baby around for a half hour or more but that’s how it is sometimes. He also took baby after morning wake up, I nursed and then slept until he went to work while he had some one on one time with baby. (or just let her sleep on him).
Anon says
I don’t know, we never managed this. I agree that it’s reasonable and “should” be possible – but at that point, hearing I should “definitely be” doing anything was enough to push me over the edge.
It’s gets so much better! You’ve got this.
Lise says
Yeah, I agree that it’s reasonable, but it wasn’t possible in my situation, and I know I’m not alone. My husband was 100% hands on at night and we formula fed, but at 4 weeks, we pretty much had to stay up holding the baby in shifts for him to sleep. My husband had to leave for work around 5 am, so I would sleep 8-12 pm then take the baby around midnight so he could get a 4-ish hour stretch before work. He would only go into the bassinet for 45-minute stretches at most (this got better as soon as the Snoo I ordered in desperation at 2 am one night arrived, but it hadn’t yet), so the parent who was “on” would maybe get another 1.5 hours during their shift total. Also, my baby was eating way more often than every 3 hours at 4 weeks (again, FF, so it may be different, and he’s always been a big eater, but definitely not out of the normal range). The only time anyone in our house slept longer were the times my wonderful and saintly mom stayed over and took care of the baby at night.
Anonymous says
I mean…this just isn’t possible for all families. My husband has a big job and earns the big bucks, and being sleep deprived is a physical safety risk at his job. I had to bear the brunt of sleep deprivation because I had a 4 month maternity leave. It’s fine, we survived.
Anon says
+1 it’s great if the suggestion works for a couple, but I gave my husband a lot of slack on this end when he was going in full days working and I was on maternity leave. Not to diminish how hard it is to take care of a baby during the day, but at least I didn’t have to be fully dressed, commuting, and on top of other important stuff that could have real consequences foe others like he did.
Once we were both back at work it was a different story.
anonn says
just back at work from my 2nd mat leave. My first was like this and for that reason we hired a nighttime doula for my 2nd. She came about 2 nights a week for the first 9 weeks and that saved me. Having babies has taught me how critical sleep is to my mental and physical health. Maybe also look into a chiropractor that specializes in newborns, I don’t see them regularly, but my lactation consultant suggested it, and my son has been a great sleeper (until this week when bc he caught a cold his first week at daycare). Also, just getting out of the house for the chiro appts was great for my mental health. The chiro was very gentle, he was so calm through the treatments.
anne-on says
It gets SO much better around ~6wks. I really wish someone had given me straight talk to be like, look, the first 6 or so weeks will be REALLY REALLY hard, but it improves dramatically after that. Also, I think ‘nipple confusion’ is WAY overstated and wish I hadn’t waited to give my son bottles/pacifiers. Just use low flow nipples and let dad give a bottle for a feeding so that you can get an extended chunk of sleep!
Anonymous says
+1 to all of this. We used pacis from the start…breastfed 34 months between two kids. First 4-6 weeks are just brutal and there’s no way around it. You aren’t going to get large chunks of sleep. The thing that helped me was taking a walk during the day (good for babies circadian rhythm anyways).
blueridge29 says
plus 1 – weeks 4-6 are brutal. You are doing everything right, this time is just really hard. It will get better. :)
Anonymous says
Sharing my story in case it resonates: My baby (now 7 mos) was very fussy and feeding so often until about 8-10 weeks. I had no idea whether it was normal or not. I spent a lot of time internalizing that I was a bad mom, and feeling guilt about wanting to just go back to work, and resentful at my husband that he couldn’t help me the way I wanted. Because of the pandemic, I didn’t have any other moms hanging out with me who might recognize that he was unusually fussy, fidgety, and eating often. I felt like something was off, though, and described the fussiness in detail (arching back, breaking off while feeding to scream, eating every 30 minutes for 2-3 minutes at a time) to the pediatrician. It turned out he had a cows milk protein allergy and reflux. If you feel like your daughter is extremely fussy, please don’t hesitate to discuss with your pediatrician or a lactation consultant.
Also, once the baby starts smiling, you might feel some reciprocity and affection! Those first little smirks made me think, ok, I can do this!
Anonymous says
+1, this was my situation, too. My second baby was super fussy due to gas pains, and I kept telling myself it was “normal” and to push through. She refused to sleep and it literally took her hours sometimes to get her down for bedtime–she would arch her back and cry endlessly when trying to go to sleep. I finally gave in and took her to the pediatrician because my mental health was suffering, and it turned out she had a cows milk protein allergy. She had none of the other classic symptoms, but things improved dramatically within a week of being on a hypoallergenic formula. So don’t hesitate to take your babe to the doctor–they have seen it all!
And congratulations on your new little one! The newborn stage is so hard, but you’ve got this!
EDAnon says
I also came here to say that my first had serious feeding issues that turned out to be a sensitivity to dairy protein. I couldn’t nurse so we used formula without it and it helped a ton.
6-8 weeks is a turning point. For us, it was closer to 8 weeks because that’s when we figured out the dairy thing.
(I also felt like a bad mom. Looking back, that is ridiculous. I was doing my best and it was not bad at all!).
No Face says
Newborns are incredibly difficult. Even easy newborns. Of course you are exhausted! It’s just a part of the stage.
I have so many friends with older kids who would look at my then-babies and say “Wow! They are so cute and tiny! Man, I am glad to be done with that stage.” I feel the same way. No more newborns for me! I love sleeping through the night, running around outside with my kids, watching movies together, and all the snuggles.
Katy says
I’ve been there lady!!! I think you are actually at a really tough time. For me things got better around 6 weeks, when i think he finally started eating properly (more efficiently). You don’t say if you are nursing, but if you are, it is not too late for a lactation consultant.
I did all the night time wake ups. My saving grace was the 7 pm to 9 pm nap. LO would sleep on hubby then? sometimes take a bottle maybe? I have no idea, i was dead to the world and it gave me the strength to power through the witching hour.
Finally – The period where they will sleep on you is SO SHORT and so wonderful.(I know that you probably want to punch me in a face for staying this). I “enjoyed” the fussy baby more when I gave myself permission to basically say: my whole job today is to keep this LO happy and healthy. That is it. (*also myself sane) It made me feel so much less overwhelmed when i accepted that dinner might be takeout, the house a mess, and that i wasn’t going to finish decorating our house on mat leave.
4 year old Seasonal Allergies says
My 4 y.o. is really suffering from seasonal allergies, poor kid. Giving kiddo kids zyrtec every evening which helps. Has anyone successfully used a neti pot or similar thing with a kid this age? I get so much relief from it but my fear is he will inhale and it will be a whole unpleasant thing. Humidifiers don’t seem to make much of a difference. Thanks!
Pogo says
Mine actually asked for me to do the snot sucker on him the other day for allergies. Haven’t used it since he was a baby, but it did help since he’s not the best noseblower.
Anon says
My 5 year old still asks for an occasional snot sucker too. They just still don’t have the “blowing out” down.
ME says
I haven’t tried to use a neti pot for our 5 year old. However we have had very good luck with flonase (sensimist). It’s OTC here. Our 5 year old has no issues with it. He even reminds us at night if we have forgotten to give it to him! His allergies are much better. (We saw an allergist because he was constantly being sent home from school due to a cough/runny nose. They thought it was COVID. Nope just allergies.). Good luck! Allergies are rough.
Anonymous says
The best thing for my kid’s allergies has been a BlueAir filter in her room and another in the main living area.
anon. says
My kid has BAD seasonal allergies (also 4). YMMV (and ask your pediatrician if you’re worried) but we had to see an allergist and he has OK’d up to 4x Zyrtec as needed. Right now we’re only doing 2x the dose, because we found 4x didn’t help and it was a LOT of Zyrtec. But on twice the dose (taken at breakfast) he does much much better.
anon says
Anyone who has had a toddler sleep in the Guava Lotus, did you get any additional mattress or padding for it? We used it a bunch as a mobile infant container, but I just pulled it out of storage after a year in anticipation of summer travel, and I’d forgotten how thin the padding is. Is it actually comfortable as is?
anon says
We tried to set it up on top of carpet. If that wasn’t available we made a carpet for underneath the Guava out of a blanket
Anon says
Can you try it out and see if your kid complains? I’m always surprised by how little my kid seems bothered by things that look very uncomfortable to me.
Anon says
We used a padded mattress pad/sheet combo thing. She really loved it. I’ll look for the link!
Anon says
And here is the link: https://www.guavafamily.com/products/lotus-plush-quilted-sheet. Apparently Guava makes it! I had assumed it was a target/amazon purchase. My MIL was genuinely horrified at how thin the mattress was and kept having us put a towel underneath. No idea if that helped but we just rolled with it.
Anonanonanon says
We used this quilted sheet and put it on carpet. It was our full-time crib until she transitioned to a floor bed around 18 months, and she did fine!
Mm says
Any good tips or tricks for taking a toddler (~1.5 yr old) camping? We will start with a one night trip that’s not too far from home so we can bail if required. Especially curious to hear what you use(d) for a sleeping arrangement – pack and play, air mattress, etc?
Anon says
We used a pack n play (but I’m a camping maximalist). We also had sound machine noise playing on a phone overnight. Ruined a bit of camping ambiance, but helped with sleeping.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This reminds me of a picture I saw of my husband camping with his family as a kid. His little brother was a baby and you can see a full on crib in that picture! I think they had a big van to carry it in, but it made me laugh. Luckily we have foldable pack n plays now – that’s probably what I would bring.
AwayEmily says
Camping maximalist — love it! We are going camping with our 3 and 5yo for the first time in May and now I have identified my camping personality. Maximalist all the way.
Anonymous says
I prefer to call it glamping.
EDAnon says
We are taking our 2 and 4 year olds in May. We are glampers, too. We did backyard a few times with success with the older one. I am really excited to see how it goes.
anon says
We did an air mattress and at that age the kids just sleep in my sleeping bag (plus one for warmth), but pack n play works well too. At that age, be prepared to spend the whole time yelling at them to stay away from the fire. It’ll be super fun! And get him or her his own little folding chair :).
GCA says
I like being warm and so do the kids, so I cram into sleeping bags with toddlers (I fully expect to not sleep so well and am usually pleasantly surprised). Oh and each kid needs their own cute little folding chair!
DLC says
We used a travel crib- like the baby Bjorn one but by Phil and Ted (now discontinued). I liked that we could leave the side open so easy to get to kiddo if they got fussy or woke in the middle of the night.
Also- I know some people loved the hiking packs, but once I had a walking kiddo if we went on a short hike (less than 2 miles) I preferred to let them walk and just hike at the kid’s pace. We never got very far, but I just wanted to be less encumbered. For longer hikes, the hiking pack was invaluable.
Anonymous says
Around age 2, our kid refused to get into the fancy expensive hiking backpack. She screamed so loudly I was afraid the nearby rangers would hear her and think something terrible was happening. That was the last time we ever tried to use it.
Anonymous says
at 11 months we used a pack and play. at 2.5 he was on a mattress beside ours, but actually on the air mattress between us.
Might i suggest that you will actually have a better time (and therefore more positive experience) if you stay 2 nights? that way the whole trip isn’t set up and take down. We also (at 11 mo) took the chair thingy that attaches to the kitchen counter and attached it to the picnic table (they are concrete and bolted to the ground near us). BRING ALL THE CLOTHES.
Anon says
Anyone have protein in their urine during pregnancy? I’m 14w and just got a note that I had some, but my blood work looked normal. I guess I need to do a 24 hour urine test now. Just wondering if anyone’s had this issue?
Anon says
I did, at my first appointment around 10 weeks. I don’t remember them doing any special follow-up testing, I think they just repeated the test at my next appointment and it was normal. I never had any issues for the rest of my pregnancy.
OP says
Reassuring – thank you! Hoping this is the case for me too.
Katala says
I think a little here and there is normal. I had it with pre-eclampsia with my first, but that was much later at 33 weeks and we did the 24 hour because of other symptoms I had and high BP. Very unlikely that’s what’s going on with you at 14 weeks but I know it’s one reason they check for protein at every appointment.
Sara says
OK, let’s shop! What is a beautiful birthday gift for myself from my husband under $650? I love David Yurman but nothing is jumping out to me. Any other ideas?
Anonymous says
If you want jewelry, I like ByChari.
Anon says
Does it have to be jewelry? I pretty much no longer wear jewelry because my preschooler is still a rough and tumble barnacle so no help there.
Well under your limit, but I just bought myself a Hedley & Bennett apron ($100+ for an apron) because they just released a polka dot print and I cannot overstate how happy it makes me and how well it fits. DD (3.5) saw it and her eyes got big and she said “ooooooooh I love it!” which also exponentially increased my joy. We spend a lot of time cooking and baking together.
For mother’s day I asked for a prickly pear yeti because I love the pink color on it.
If riding boots are appropriate for your work life, I would consider a new pair of knee high frye boots which I think run a couple of hundred dollars. Mine are over 10 years old and still going strong, but a smidge narrow post baby so I am waiting until we are done having kids to replace them with either a wider version or go up half a size.
If you’re heading back to the office soon, a nice new work bag?
anon says
Ok, almost afraid to ask. What is everyone doing/daycares doing when kiddos get colds from teething? LO is teething, and didn’t feel well over the weekend requiring minimal medication. No fever. Kept both kids home Monday-Tuesday (no meds; tooth broke through; sleeping fine etc etc). Sent LO yesterday with a slight lingering runny nose but otherwise fine. Today she got sent home (and we got a scoldy email) because they say she had a runny nose and *sneezed*. She has not sneezed since I picked her up. And the runny nose is light, not constant or green or anything. I know this group is very covid-careful, so AITA?
anon says
What I’m trying to get at is — is everyone really keeping all kids home an entire week and/or getting a dr note every time there’s a small cold/runny nose??
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m not. Our daycare lets kids in if it’s just a runny nose (without accompanying fever or cough or some other “Covid” symptom). So my kids were in last week when the younger one had a cold of some sort with a runny nose and congestion. I get that Covid is a big issue, but my kid’s runny nose is 99.9% likely to just be a cold virus. Especially when none of the rest of us got anything, leading me to think it’s just him building his immune system. I don’t know – maybe I’m too cavalier, but I think some of these restrictions have gotten too extreme.
Anon says
i don’t think you’re too cavalier. but i also think daycares are stuck between a rock and a hard place – no parent is going to think that the rules are perfect, they’ll likely think that their rules are too extreme, too lenient, etc. it’s just a hard situation and i can’t blame a daycare for trying to cover its back, despite how annoying it is as a parent
Patty Mayonnaise says
It’s a pain, but we’ve been getting our kids tested when they have a runny nose, etc. And then letting daycare know of the negative result when we send them in.
Anonymous says
Don’t almost all kids under 3 have a constant runny nose whether or not they are sick?
Anon says
Mine has only ever had a steady runny nose when she’s sick. Sometimes her nose will run very briefly when she cries or comes in from outside (especially if it’s cold or windy outside), but it dries up as soon as the triggering event is over and I wouldn’t describe it as “constant” at all. I don’t think it’s normal for a child’s nose to be running all the time.
Anonymous says
I just remember being grossed out by trails of snot on all the other kids’ faces at day care pickup, and when I babysit my little nieces and nephews I am constantly wiping their noses.
EDAnon says
We live in a cold climate and our kids’ noses run pretty constantly from Nov-March. Our daycare allows kids with runny noses if no other symptoms. We do end up keeping them home a whole week every 3 months or so (so far) because one gets a cold then the other. We always COVID test one but usually not both. By the time you get the rest and results and everything it’s inevitably Friday so we keep them the last day.
Anonymous says
I don’t think most folks are keeping kids home for a runny nose only in my area or that daycares/schools are requring it. Also, right now allergies/pollen are super extreme in my neck of the woods. So that would factor against keeping kids home for a runny nose only at the moment, too.
Anonymous says
Yes preschool didn’t send DD hone this week when she started sneezing nonstop because…allergies. She was fine after 2 days of claritin
anon says
I’ve got her regular 15 mo att today so I’m trying to get her a doctor’s note for allergies, as that is about all daycare accepts. When this started over a year ago the “no runny noses ever” and “no leaving the state without a 14-day quarentine after” rules seemed fine. But now it’s feeling just totally unrealistic. I’m glad they’re extra careful about COVID, but there’s no end in sight.
Anon says
+1 to there being no end in sight. Daycare has already told us the same protocols will apply at least through the end of the 2021-2022 school year, and presumably my kid will have been vaccinated before the end of next school year. I think it’s ridiculous to send a child who’s been vaccinated for Covid home for every runny nose or not allow them to leave the state without quarantine. At some point we have to get back to something resembling normal, especially for people who have been vaccinated.
Anonymous says
Exactly. My daycare requires exclusion for every symptom on the city’s list of symptoms, which includes literally every symptom by virtue of a catch-all of “feeling unwell in any way.” I now have both of my kids home, since the little one had a runny nose (with no other symptom) and we’re excluded until he gets a negative covid test. It also took the daycare 22 hours to “clear” us last time — i.e. look at the negative test and say ok — so we lost an extra day of care.
On the quarantine front, our daycare is just following the city. And I’m starting to get really depressed that it might be a whole other year before I can travel with my kids without losing an extra week of childcare after we return. The city has excluded vaccinated travelers from the requirements, but I really don’t see them excluding children unless the drop the requirements for all.
Anonymous says
Oh yikes. I thought it was bad that we’re effectively grounded from international travel until there are vaccines for kids. I can’t imagine not being able to leave the state without a 14 day quarantine.
Anon says
Our daycare doesn’t require us to stay home for runny nose/sneezing, only cough or fever. My kid has had two colds so far this year and we voluntarily kept her home for one day with each, the day when she was hit hardest with the runny nose/sneezing (which was the full day following the day the runny nose began). For one cold, she never really developed a cough at all and we sent her back to school the next day when her runny nose had stopped. For the other cold it was a Friday that we kept her home with the runny nose and she coughed a little bit over the weekend but was normal by Monday and we sent her. I think technically we might have violated the “symptom free for 24 hours rule” on that one because she was still coughing on Sunday, but it was very clear to me that it was an “end of cold” cough – if it had seemed in any way weird or abnormal, I would have called the ped.
My ped has told me sneezing is unusual with Covid and she only recommends testing if the child is running a fever or has a known Covid exposure. I can’t imagine testing my kid at every runny nose. The tests are horrrrrible. Also, yes, many kids have seasonal allergies so sending kids home for sneezing alone seems like a disaster.
Anonymous says
OI posted above that we covid test all the time. I wonder if your places do it differently? my almost 3 y/o giggles and legit tests herself at this point. Q-tip up the nose, give a little wiggle, done. My K and 2nd graders self-test for school pool testing as well, never a single complaint.
Anon says
Yeah, my area only has the kind of swab that goes way back in your nose and feels like it’s scraping your brain. It’s not self-administered. I’ve had it done twice now and thought it was pretty awful, so I really don’t want to put my kid through it unless absolutely necessary. Even for cough and fever, I don’t believe our school requires testing – you just have to stay out until you’ve been symptom-free for a certain period of time – but I would test if our pediatrician recommended it, and it sounds like she does recommend testing if a kid runs a fever.
Anonymous says
We have easy access to COVID testing so if it’s anything she would get sent home for (runny nose + cough, for example) we get her swabbed. It is more effort for me to get a dr’s note so that’s my choice. My older two kids do pool testing at school twice a week each. If there were COVID in our house we’d know it pretty quickly.
anon says
The thing is a COVID test isn’t acceptable either — their rule is if it’s a cold, you need to be completely symptom-free for 24 hours. No runny nose. This week’s been a wash.