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Whoa: I’ve seen fleece leggings and tights before, but none specifically for maternity sizes. Yet that’s what Plush has done — there are maternity leggings with an under-the-belly waistband, as well as an over-the-belly waistband, and tights. (They come in regular sizes as well, of course.) The pictured leggings are $82; the tights are only $36. Plush Fleece Maternity Leggings Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines. (L-4)Sales of note for 9.10.24
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- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
NYCpg says
Good morning ladies! I’ve posted occasionally before about my infertility struggles under a different name and I’m happy to announce that I’m now 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant. It’s still very early and I’m still under the care of my reproductive endocrinologist at NYU.
I originally selected my ob/gyn based on some factors that are no longer a consideration and am looking for a change. For those of you in NYC, where are the best places to deliver? Assume I’m looking for a hospital birth with an epidural, and a doctor willing to push the limits a bit in order to avoid a c-section unless it’s absolutely necessary. There’s a decent chance I’m carrying twins, but won’t know for sure until an ultrasound in 11 days.
Are there useful lists/resources you can point me toward? I’ve heard a lot of good and horrible anecdotes over the years (here and elsewhere) but all the hospitals seem to have blurred in my head. I live on the UWS and work in midtown west so bonus points for convenience! Thanks in advance!
Lucy says
Congratulations! I would not recommend St. Luke’s Roosevelt even though it would be convenient for you. All my friends who delivered there ended up being pushed to have a c-section as soon as anything got complicated. Also they don’t have a very advanced NICU so if your baby needed anything complicated he/she would be transferred to another hospital. Not something anyone wants to think about but something to consider. I’ve heard nice things about Mount Sinai uptown and they have a fantastic NICU, but I don’t know what doctors are associated with it. NYP/Weill Cornell has also gotten good reviews from everyone I know who’s had a baby there. I did Lenox Hill and was happy with it. The location is easy as it’s right by the subway and the staff is lovely. If you want a doctor recommendation – Dr. Michel 212/249-4501. Pro epidural but not going to push a c section on you and is generally respectful of your wishes. If you work in midtown where you have easy access to a the 6 train, office would be convenient. Otherwise pick someone with an easy location for you to get to as you will be going a lot, esp. at the end, and it’s best to have someone that you can easily and quickly get to from work/home.
nyc momma says
Check out Dr Anna Barbieri at OBGYNWestside. She’s great (as are all the doctors there!) Very low c section rate, delivers at Mt Sinai.
anon says
I delivered twins at Mt. Sinai. I liked my doctor but hated the other doctor in the group who ended up doing the delivery, so I can’t recommend them — they’re on the East Side, so you likely won’t find them if you’re UWS-centered. I have very mixed feelings about Mt. Sinai itself. I felt confident in the medical care we received, and our main nurse was great, but it left a really sour taste that once we were discharged, we got ZERO help getting two babies out to the car. That was consistent with much of the bedside manner. I can elaborate if it would help.
Anon in NYC says
Congratulations! I delivered at NY Presbyterian-Weill Cornell on 68th & York, so not convenient for you at all, but I had a fantastic experience. My OB (Wenhui Jin) is part of the Weill Cornell practice on 72nd & York. I love her – she was very no nonsense, a little blunt, not at all alarmist, but also very thorough – and she fit my/my husband’s style and approach to pregnancy well. There are a bunch of other doctors in the practice, however, so I’m sure you’d be able to find one that suits you if she isn’t a good fit. I’ve heard nothing but good things about the other doctors in the practice – in the birthing class that I took (through Stork and Cradle, which the Weill Cornell folks told me about), a number of other women were seeing other doctors from the practice, and the doula leading the class also was very complimentary of the practice.
When I delivered I had a random doctor from the practice who was also really nice (I can’t remember her name right now), but Dr. Jin stopped by before I checked out. The nursing staff in the delivery room and postpartum were really wonderful. I had an epidural, and I really had no birth plan except to get the baby out safely and try to avoid a c-section if possible. They were fully on board with that. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy/labor, with a single baby, and I was in labor for about 24 hours before my daughter was born. My water broke before I had contractions and I needed Pitocin to induce contractions, so there was always a question of whether I would progress far enough in whatever window was considered ok to avoid risk of infection. The team was happy to let me continue for as long as I was showing progress.
Postpartum the nursing staff was so helpful and kind. There was this one nurse, Kathryn, whom I particularly loved. They really helped me figure out the basics that you learn in a birthing class but promptly forget without a live baby in front of you.
The only very minor less-than-perfect note that I remember was that I didn’t really click with the lactation consultants. I couldn’t understand what they were saying/how they were describing what a good latch was supposed to be. I wound up in a lot of pain and having to call a lactation consultant once I got home. (Which, if you’re in Brooklyn, I can recommend a great one).
third tri says
I’m at the high risk group at Cornell (because I’m expecting twins). I have had so much monitoring and so many appointments, and can’t speak highly enough about everyone there.
I have also heard about so many great birthing experiences at the hospital, so I feel confident that I will be delivering there.
Also… just wanted to let you know that an u/s that early will not always pick up twins (according to my IVF clinic and OB.
NYCpg says
Thanks for all the great input, everyone! Still interested in any additional experiences/ideas!
Third tri, when did you see your twins in there? My RE is hopeful we’ll get a count late next week. I actually didn’t do IVF – I overstimulated (10+ mature follicles) on injectibles in what was supposed to be an IUI cycle, got cancelled, and somehow DH’s swimmers decided to live extra long (from the evening before the ultrasound where we saw a million follicles) and… now I’m surprise pregnant. This, after perfectly timed cycles with three or so mature follicles yielded nothing! I plan to selectively reduce to twins if there are more than that – risky and no fun but beats the alternative. My RE is pretty optimistic we’ll be able to get a sense at least if there are a lot next week, but you’re right that it’s not a sure thing. My beta doubling time thus far is 25hrs (quick but not crazy) and absolute levels are not terribly high so I’m not overly anxious yet.
RR says
Post-IVF, we saw our twins around 5 1/2 weeks. Clearly 2 heartbeats on the screen.
Post-IVF second go round, we had more trouble. We saw 2 sacs, but I had to go to the local hospital for better equipment to confirm that only one of the 2 had a baby in it. It was probably 8 weeks before we were able to confirm that.
So, YMMV.
Anonymous says
RR, that’s so interesting, thanks! I’ve now googled for this… seems like there’s a decent shot of figuring it out next week, but good to be prepared either way. My clinic has greet equipment at the location I’m planning to visit (l could have pushed to go a day earlier but at my doctor’s other office with less sensitive machines) so hopefully no impediment there. I suppose I should hold off on a final ob selection until I know how many. Or I may make an appointment assuming a singleton and cancel if necessary.
third tri says
I found out at 6 weeks because I was concerned about unrelated symptoms and had another u/s, but they told me that often it can take longer to see two sacs (if I remember correctly, heart beats aren’t visible until maybe 8 weeks?)…. I think there’s a range.
Also, FWIW, my betas were all high enough that we felt as confident as we could in those early weeks, but nothing to suggest multiples.
And congrats! Wishing you smooth sailing!
4 Weeks Too says
Congrats! I am also 4 weeks (and a few days) pregnant. Not IVF, but recently suffered a miscarriage, so the whole thing feels very tenuous (but exciting too). Sending good thoughts your way!
NYCpg says
Thanks, congrats to you too! Hoping yours and mine stick! Hard not to be nervous this early.
Anonymous says
I delivered at NYU and had a great experience there. I know two others who also recently delivered there and liked it. I was with cityscape and was happy with the practice (as was one of my friends) but I recently met someone who had a terrible experience with one of the doctors there and switched (I would have too in her position).
anon says
I’ll second NYU as really great. I’d previously delivered at NY Downtown, which is decidedly no-frills and is a real community hospital, so switching to NYU made me feel sooo pampered and fancy. From talking to other moms, I’ve heard nothing but positive experiences with NYU.
Funnily enough, I was also at Cityscape. Had a good experience there, but was following my OB there (she is no longer there), rather than going to the practice independently. Bizarrely, she delivered all my kids.
Anon says
My husband works at a hospital and when I got pregnant he started asking people at the Department of Health about where we should go.
Maimonides delivers the most babies in NYC (and apparently the US) — they are remarkably good just because of their numbers (everyone there is an expert / has seen everything). But they are the place where people feel lost / overwhelmed.
Presbyterian / Weill Cornell got top marks from the DoH people for things like infection rates.
NYU was also considered really good.
I tried to get an OB at Presbyterian’s uptown location, but several I reached out to were already booked. I’ll be delivering at Weill Cornell /Presbyterian / Lower Manhattan (which is actually closer to where we live).
The woman who ran our birthing class had nothing but good things to say about NYU.
One thing I’ll say — my regular doctor’s office got folded into Weill Cornell and when I went to my first OBs appointment she had all my documentation and a very detailed medical history right there. That has been a real time saver and if I’d known how pleasant that aspect was I’d have considered that more specifically. (It turns out our preferred pediatrician’s office is affiliated with NYU — if we were delivering there they’d be internally notified by NYU and a pediatrician from the office would do our first appointment at the hospital.)
So honestly — if I was at NYU and even moderately happy I’d stick with them. They’ll have your background medical and you won’t have to fill out as many forms.
Anon says
Just in case you’re still following the thread… Janice Aubey at Columbia mid-town (51st between 5th and 6th). I had a high risk pregnancy with multiple concerning test results. She was clear with me about what was going on, made time to talk over the results and discuss decision points and I have a healthy baby girl to show for it. I did have a C, but but that was for medical reasons and planned in advance. She is conservative in her approach but that’s what I wanted for my high risk fetus. She delivers at Columbia NY Presbyterian at 168th which has the best neonatology practice in the city. My only complaint with the hospital is that I didn’t find them sufficiently encouraging of BFing
Ciao, pues says
What are some good brands for toddler shoes (size 6)? I’m looking especially for boots with flexible soles. I like the fit of Stide Rite but I find their styles a little garish. Other ideas?
mascot says
See Kai Run, pedi-ped
OCAssociate says
+1 to both of these
hoola hoopa says
See Kai Run!
Livie and Luca. Nina Kids.
JJ says
I get the best results when I search Zappos for the specific toddler size and browse from there. Honestly, the best shoes that we’ve bought for my boys were New Balance sneakers.
Liz says
We’ve had good luck with keens. Don’t know about boots, but have bought some sturdy (and cute) high top sneackers for my 1.5 yo daughter.
RR says
We actually found great boots for my two year old at Stride Rite this year–just plain, tan boots, with a little faux fur around the top. Very cute.
Not books, but Saucony has been my favorite brand for my toddler.
L says
We swear by the leather booties (with rubber soles) from Carter’s. Have bought them in multiple sizes.
NewMomAnon says
I am going to a conference tomorrow and my kiddo will be spending some time with her dad, and then a night with my parents. Last night I realized that I’m totally anxious about it and started having really upsetting thoughts about my kiddo being inconsolable about me being gone, or me crying in my hotel room without her. I don’t think she will actually have a problem with it; she hasn’t had issues with separation anxiety before, and she is generally pumped about new situations (and there will be doggies at both houses, so there is that). Any tips for me to be comfortable being away from her? She is almost 2. Talk on the phone at night with her?
Also, we are still nursing in the morning and before bed, so there will be 3 nights and 3 mornings that we will skip. I thought I was OK with potentially losing what small supply I still had, but now I’m wondering if I should bring a manual pump just in case…..
Anon says
May depend on the kid, but when I tried Skype or talking over the phone to my kid at that age he found it very confusing and (per caregivers) became very upset afterwards when he had previously been fine.
Amelia Bedelia says
I agree with this. I travel quite a bit for work and, as horrible as it is for me, my child does MUCH better when she doesn’t speak to me (or face time me) while I am away.
L says
Yes, I agree. I spent a few days at a conference recently, and briefly tried face timing my 17 month old. She saw me, there was some wailing with “Momma!”, and then she strolled off to do whatever it is toddlers have an urgent need to take care of.
Ciao, pues says
Under two might be a little young for telephone/ facetime. I know a lot of toddlers that age (including my own) who find it more upsetting than comforting. Instead I would opt for dad and g’parents to send you lots and lots of photos. And give yourself free reign to spend all your free time looking at photos of her. It’s ridiculous but so comforting.
The happy reality is that it is way harder on you than on her. Happy/ sad.
Meg Murry says
Yes, my husband and I have found that calling too close to bedtime just reminds the kid that the other person isn’t there, and gets them upset all over again. And unless she is used to phone calls or facetime, it probably won’t really work. I think getting text updates (preferably with pictures) is the best way.
Can you make a list of things you can’t normally do with her around, and do them on this trip? For instance, for me, when I travel without my kids, I usually do some combo of hot bath (with bubbles or salts sometimes), wine or margaritas, trashy novel or fluffy magazine or chick flick. Sometimes instead of the bath I’ll just do a good foot soak and thorough home mani/pedi, sometimes with a face mask as well. Or if you are traveling with colleagues that you like and rarely go out nowadays, could you make some time for drinks at the hotel bar or other socializing with adults that you don’t normally get to do?
Any other indulgences you haven’t done since you had her? Or even the little things (long hot uninterrupted shower, eating breakfast while it’s still hot, etc) to look forward to?
mascot says
+1 to all of this. Short breaks are good for everyone. Also, you are leaving her with people who love her and strengthening those relationships.
rakma says
I think a manual pump is a small enough item to pack, so that if you change your mind, you have it. On the other hand, if you’re ok with being done with nursing, this might be a good time to change the routine.
DD is also almost two, and I’m traveling at the end of this week. It’ll be the second time I’m traveling for work since she was born, and the first time was much harder on me than on her. My MIL and husband have a busy couple of days planned (playgrounds! aquarium! visits!) which I think will help her.
I found what makes me most comfortable being away is to focus as much as I can on the work/networking aspect of the trip. I’ve got 4 days of uninterpreted work-me time, a bunch of people to catch up with (including local people who I can’t get together with for a happy hour like I could pre-kid) , and this is a trip that I’ve decided is really worth me going on, so I might as well make the most of it.
TBK says
+1 on not talking on the phone or Skyping. My kids are 19 mo and they kind of seem to believe that people in the computer screen live only in the computer screen. So they were totally fine Skyping with my dad — until he came to visit and they FREAKED OUT at seeing in IRL. Meanwhile, I tried Skyping with them during my first business trip away from them and they FREAKED OUT at seeing me in the screen. We recently left the boys with my parents for two nights and honestly the kids didn’t show any signs of noticing we were gone. I mean, they were very very happy to see me in the morning after I got back, but while we were away, they just played with my parents’ dog, ran around the yard, picked up rocks and leaves, and were generally happy little toddlers.
Sarabeth says
Just a counterpoint – since about 20 months, Skyping has worked well for us. I travel kind of a lot, so she got used to it (and she also Skypes her grandparents frequently, so she’s comfortable with that format). We usually have a time difference which means that I Skype her when she’s eating breakfast, which is a good time of day – she’s happy and well rested. She asks to ‘talk to mama on the ipad’ when I’m not in the house at breakfast time.
NewMomAnon says
Thank you to all the commenters! It hadn’t even occurred to me that I could indulge myself…that opens up all sorts of possibilities. I sense wine and some long runs might be coming….
AnonForThis says
Regular poster on the main site. Can anyone recommend a ob gyn who is friendly to older mothers in DC or nearby? I happily have a bfp after a year of trying and now need to sort out next steps! I didn’t do ivf or ART and am older (nearing 43)–I don’t have a regular ob and didn’t love the practices I used for my 2 previous pregnancies. Do I go automatically to a high-risk ob, based solely on my age? Is there a standout on around here for regular old-mama pregnancies? Thanks!
octagon says
I have been very impressed with Arlington Women’s Center (attached to VHC). They told me I was nowhere near old (I’m 38) after another practice treated my age like a fatal flaw.
AMA says
+1 – -I love this practice
I was AMA (39) when I had my baby, no one said boo to me about my age except when it looked like I may go past my due, date and then it was a ‘eh, since you’re older, we shouldn’t let you go past 41 weeks.’ Since I was all about getting the baby on the other side of my uterus, I had no problem with that!
TBK says
+1 on Arlington Women’s Center (and delivering at VHC). I had a very very high risk twin pregnancy and got to know all the doctors very well. It’s a terrific practice.
anon says
At 32, I felt like the youngest patient at Reiter Hill. People have mixed reviews of it as a practice but I liked it well enough, particularly Dr. Engel. A number of my colleagues who were over 40 went to him and liked him as well.
D says
I have been a patient at Reiter Hill for close to 10 years. I just had a child at 36. They recommend that you cycle through their OBs. It took me a while to realize that is not required and I started scheduling the appointments based upon my preferred times and doctors. My favorites were doctors King, Johnson, Gibson & Engel.
AnonForThis says
Thanks, ladies! That’s a big help. I’ll check these out.
Butter says
This is just a rant. I have a couple of pairs of maternity pants and jeans that fit perfectly/slightly snug in the store, but once they’ve been worn for about 20 minutes stretch so far beyond ridiculousness that they make me physically angry. I am now using binder clips to hold up the pants I put on for work this morning. BINDER CLIPS. And I’m annoyed that this appears to be a trend with my recent purchases. Are maternity suspenders a thing? I know an easy solution is to not take the tags off anything until I’ve worn them at least around the block, I’m just annoyed at my current wardrobe malfunction.
FMC says
No comment on the suspenders (I don’t know such a thing exists) but +1 to commiserate. I am really disliking the baggy thighs/tight calf combination that appears in my maternity jeans about 20 minutes into wearing — especially when I get up from sitting and the hems of the pants remain almost halfway to my calves. That and the few pea in the pod splurges I made falling apart IN THEIR SECOND WEARINGS.
RR says
I hated that when I was pregnant! It definitely seems to be a thing. Have you tried like a bella band or something around them? Sometimes that would help hold things up.
L says
Agree on the Bella band. I wore it everyday with my maternity jeans (every trimester), and it kept the things plastered in place. Otherwise, I was constantly adjusting.
Butter says
Will definitely try the bella band, which I’ve used with my regular pants but haven’t tried with the maternity pants. At this point I’m willing to try duct tape to keep these things up.
DC Mom says
Hi Mom pals! When and how did you start to discipline your kid? I have a 13 month old who is calm and mostly well-behaved, but is starting to throw food, hit me while nursing, and crawl into the washing machine. She throws her food when she is done eating/not hungry and I have tried to teach her the sign for “all done” but that has not worked, so instead she shakes her head and clears everything on her tray.
Anonymous says
I found that 13 months was way too young to understand discipline — I just Did Not React At All to anything other than good behavior. It helped.
TK says
Anonymous, when do you start to discipline? Mine is 20 months old, and in addition to the behaviors DC Mom is talking about, my kid has been refusing to get in his carseat, pulls everything off of tables within reach, and has been screaming ‘mine’ whenever I try to take anything [dangerous – like pencils] away, and generally being .. well, a toddler I suppose. When did you start to ‘discipline,’ and what did it look like? We’re a no spanking household.
mascot says
Throwing/dropping plates at that age for us meant the meal was over. He can’t tell time so move the snack to sooner if you are worried about real hunger. The wrestling into the carseat was awful. I’d either stand outside the car and let him scream or start tickling him and buckling as fast as I could. For dangerous stuff, keep it out of sight/reach as much as you can. Will he trade a boring pencil for a super fun toy or sticker or something? Take advantage of the fact that kids want to play with whatever someone else has, especially if looks like a higher value item. (Why yes, this was a lesson carried over from training my dogs)
He’s still learning to communicate so you may have to ask some yes-no questions and describe what he is feeling. Within reason, we also tried to keep him out of situations where he was set up to fail. Hungry and/or tired can trigger tantrums.
Anon says
This is a late post for the day so not sure if you’ll see it, but I have been keeping stickers in the pocket of the door and asking if my 17 mo wants one as I get her buckled. Then we pick one out together. Not perfect, as sometimes she hands me a spitball when I get her out, and sometimes no sticker will help the car seat battle, but it has been a nice distraction. I also recently read that kids her age can only be reasonably expected to obey 50% of the time. That has helped my patience level more than anything, and I know that when I’m irritable toward her that makes everyone feel worse. If she says no to me one time, I try to ask her again a different way and chances are it works. Good luck!
Anonymous says
Yes, way too young. There are many alternatives available to you: non-reaction, redirection, physical barriers, etc.
RDC says
I’m not sure this counts, and I have the same question, but I do think my 10-month old understands “no.” We mostly use it when he reaches out of the high hair to feed his dinner to the dog; he at least seems to recognize that he’s doing something he’s not supposed to (although he doesn’t necessarily stop). I say no and then try to distract or move on to the next thing. (Eg, when he starts feeding the dog, it usually means dinner is over and we start getting cleaned up.)
Anon says
I worked at preschool in the one year old room in college. Of course you can’t just let five one-year-olds run amok, so we definitely were invested in controlling certain behaviors. So it depends on what you mean by “discipline.” Things like “time outs,” lectures, and yelling are not terribly effective at this age. What was much more effective was remembering that they are still learning the rules and that you need to tell them what to do.
When kids were running in the hallway we’d say, “We need to walk in the hallway.” If the kid altered their behavior — great! If not, an adult would take them by the hand and walk them over the path that they had run. If a kid was banging blocks we’d remind them that “Blocks are for building.” Or “You are being to loud with the blocks, play nicely.” If the kid did it — great! If not we might try to help the kid play correctly. If the kid was doing something unsafe we’d take them away from the block area or take away the blocks and suggest a different toy.
The preschool also had a “No saying no” policy that was actually really effective. It wasn’t that we weren’t allowed to say no, but that we were supposed to focus on what the kids SHOULD be doing, not what they shouldn’t be doing. And when we did say “No!” or “Stop!” the kids actually LISTENED. So suddenly “No!” became a safety word — if a kid was hitting or throwing a sharp “No” would actually get a fifteen month old to freeze. If a kid was doing something unsafe on the slide or jungle gym, “Stop!” would actually get them to stop.
It was weirdly miraculous. I’d worked with a lot of little kids and I’d never seen such little kids actually listen to an adult say no.
So for your daughter, I’d use correction whenever possible. If she’s throwing her food, stop the meal, get her out of her chair and help her clean it up. Say, “Food is for eating” (Not “We don’t throw food.”) Explain, when we’re done eating, we push our plate away. If she hits you say, “Hands are for being nice.” If she continues, stop nursing her (I know that’s really hard.)Show her things she can do around the dryer — the dryer is for clothes help me put the clothes in. Shut the dryer door etc. (Or just get a dryer lock.)
When people tell kids “Don’t do X” the problem for little kids is figuring out what TO DO instead. Direct her toward the behaviors you want and save the Nos and Stops for important things.
DC Mom says
Very helpful, thanks! I just reread my question and decided that “discipline” is too strong of a word for what I am intending. I was looking for advice on just what to do in these scenarios – exactly what you said: ignore, redirect.
Meg Murry says
I agree with you (and everyone else) on ignore, redirect. Hits you when nursing? Nursing session is over, set her down. Shaking her head at the table? Clear her food away, before she starts throwing it.
The main thing is to be consistent. Kids that age don’t really get warnings – maaaaybe you can try “don’t hit mommy” once when nursing and end the session at the second hit – but for the most part, giving any attention is asking them to try it again, so it’s best just to stop immediately at the first sign.
hoola hoopa says
+1 to consistent, logical consequences. Hitting = being put down. Throwing food = meal is done. Crawling in to the washing machine (!!) = hearing ‘no, not safe,’ being taken out, and if it continues, being put outside the laundry room (someplace safe, obv) with the door closed while you load/unload.
I agree that warnings don’t make sense at that age, but I like to start introducing the concept. Pavlovian conditioning of sorts. Like the ‘no, not safe’ message while relocating them from a forbidden area.
The age at which I start time outs has varied by kiddo, but generally around the 2nd birthday.
Tactics like counting down from 5 (enormously effective with my herd) doesn’t work until they have some reasonably good understanding of numbers, around age 3 or 3.5.
NewMomAnon says
I found that my kiddo REALLY wanted to be “helpful” and imitate me when she was that age (she still does at 21 months, but a little less so). It was very effective to catch her doing good things and praise that, and show her how to do good things so she could help. So instead of throwing the food, how about giving her a towel and asking her to wipe her own tray down? Then praise her when she wipes the tray. When we were done playing, I’d ask for “help” getting toys back in the bins. Even if she only got one toy in the bin while I cleaned up the rest, it kept her from emptying other bins on the floor while I cleaned.
I’ve tried two time outs in the last year (both times because relatives insisted that I should) – ain’t nobody got time for that sh*t with a kid under 2.
Anonymama says
Yeah, if “discipline” means teaching appropriate behavior, and discouraging inappropriate behavior, yes you can. Having positive reactions/redirections is most effective but hard to do (instead of “no, don’t throw your milk!”, saying “drink your milk carefully and set the cup down gently.” And praise when they do it correctly.
L says
I loved their fleece maternity tights, and got a lot of use from them. They were so comfortable that I never wanted to take them off. Not at all constricting, but also stayed up nicely. The sizing does run long–I have a 33″ inseam, bought the tall size, and probably should have gotten the regular ones (they tended to bunch up at my ankles). My only complaint was the the tights did start pilling in the knees relatively quickly. Next time, I’ll probably spring for the more expensive leggings, and hope that they are more durable.
Anonymous says
I’d really appreciate some help with parenting books.
I was a massively scheduled kid while the husband was left to go free. We both like our child (around age 1) to be in activities like tot swim, baby music etc. We’ve focused on providing books in a variety of forms and open play type toys like soft toys, blocks etc. There is so much stuff out there like baby dance, baby massage therapy and baby sign language and it’s hard to know what is of any use, what is a waste of money and how much is too much.
Anonymama says
At that age talk to and play with your kid and you’re good as far as what they actually need. For the rest, it’s up to what you want to do, enjoy doing with your kid, and have the time/money for.
hoola hoopa says
+1 to what you enjoy doing with your kid, and have the time/money for.
If you’re the type who finds it easier to go to the pool when you’re scheduled for a swim class or sing songs when you’re scheduled for Music Together, then go for it. If you are already going to the pool and signing songs at home, then just do that. Don’t worry about researching it. Just do what feels natural for your household.
IMO, nearly everything before about age three is whipped cream. It’s nice if you want to do it, but it’s not really going to have a huge impact on a child who is otherwise in a warm and stimulating environment. Frankly a parent who is asking this question is probably already providing a warm and stimulating environment.
Anonymama says
Also to add on, there is not really any expert child-raising scientifically proven One Right Way to raise children, you gotta trust your own judgment as far as what your kid needs. But spending time with other kids/parents around the same age can be helpful in terms of comparisons and ideas, just so you don’t all have to independently invent the wheel as far as, say, brushing teeth without losing your sanity.
Anon says
I’d say baby swim starts being useful about age one, though it depends on where you are. I’d say in Florida, California, Arizona and other places with lots of pools I’d start early. (Because you want your 3-4 year old to be able to swim, not because your one-year-old will be able to.)
Otherwise I think baby classes are more about the parents / meeting people. if you don’t feel like you have any idea what to do with your kid, take a class. If you feel like you have no mom friends take a class. But don’t really expect your baby to get a lot out of most of them — even baby sign language is going to only be effective if it’s used around them all the time at home by both parents.