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Budget Thursday: Plaid Scarf

Recent Recs

This is an extra large shawl scarf for an excellent price. I like that it comes in a lot of different patterns and colors that are all nice. In the photos on the listing, it also shows the multitude of ways to wear it — around your neck as a scarf, opened all the way as a shawl, and wrapped around several times. See this video from Extra Petite for more looks. For $12.99 and Prime shipping and free returns, I can see getting a few! Plaid Scarf 

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Sales of Note…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • J.Crew – Up to 50% off kids’ camp styles; extra 50% off select sale
  • Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off summer pajamas; up to 50% off all baby styles (semi-annual baby event!)
  • Carter’s – Summer deals from $5; up to 60% off swim
  • Old Navy – 30% off your order; kid/toddler/baby tees $4
  • Target – Kids’ swim from $8; summer accessories from $10

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About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. Anon says

    When do I drop the Paci?

    Kid 1 turns 2 in early April. Twins (kids 2 and 3) arrive late May. Right now we use a paci for naptimes, car rides and bedtime (she’s an awesome night sleeper, and I don’t want to mess it up). Somehow, after she went back to daycare after New Year’s she dropped the paci at naptime (we forgot to bring it in the first day back, and now it’s been 5 straight days of good paci-free naps).

    I’m not worried about her paci use, but maybe this is a good time to cut back more? Bu, hopefully the twins will take pacis, so they’ll be around her again starting in May. Also, she got a baby doll for Christmas that came with a fake paci and she is obsessed. So it’s odd, she seems to be using the paci less but is talking about them WAY more. What do I do?

    • ElisaR says

      mine both naturally stopped using (I think I might have forgotten it at daycare too) it. I was scared to take it away but it turned out they were fine going to sleep. Only difference was mine were much younger when we dropped it. Maybe since she’s almost 2 you can ask her if she might want to go to sleep without it? Sounds like she’s naturally going that way already. I think the babydoll with it might even help. She might feel like pacis are for babies and she’s a big girl? I also don’t think it will be a problem if the twins use pacis…. I could be wrong but I don’t think that will make her want it more. Any chance you can rationalize with her about it? For me it seemed like I thought they needed more than they actually did.

      • Anon says

        my daughter never had a paci at daycare but did use them at home and when out and about. Around 18 months I just stopped cold turkey. Two nights she had a hard time going to bed and that was it. Her little friend at daycare uses a paci a lot and my daughter never seems to express interest in it. In fact I saw her pick it up and give it to the friend when she was crying. It was more a crutch for me than her I think !

    • Anonymous says

      Can the paci live in her crib? And be allowed in the car only for longer rides? Dropping it at nap time cuts her use a lot and will help you down the road but I had twins after a singleton and I would be very reluctant to do anything that messes with nighttime sleep unless absolutely necessary. Dentist confirmed that as long as it’s dropped before permanent teeth start to come in, it is unlikely to cause issues.

      Even if you drop it now, when there are pacis around for the Twins, you’d probably see regression/complaint if they can have one and she cannot.

      • Anonymous says

        Our dentist also said as long as it’s by age 3, and research shows she 3-4, that there’s no effect on permanent teeth. He saw a huge positive difference in my daughters bite just 8 weeks after dropping it. But she was a paci in her mouth allllll night kid

    • Anonymous says

      It’s really up to you. We just dropped at 2yrs 7 months because DD got a new sibling at 2.4 and was really attached. If she dropped at nap I definitely think you could drop the car. We dropped bedtime last and did the paci fairy book (bea gives up her pacifier) and it worked like a charm. But she was older so she really understood. I would either do it around now or a few months after the twins arrive. We didn’t do any major changes around the birth of a sibling. FWIW my second stopped taking a paci at 6 weeks but sucks his thumb instead. So no more pacis in our house!

    • Anon says

      first of all, i cannot imagine being pregnant with twins while chasing around a 21 month old (i have twins who are a month younger than your daughter). we gave both my twins pacis at the beginning, but one started refusing it around 3 months and the other around 4 months, so even though you want them to use a paci they might not. one twin replaced the paci with thumb sucking, but over the past month or so she has not been sucking her thumb when tired, so maybe she has grown out of it like the poster above suggested.

    • anon says

      I brought my almost three year old into the dentist last year thinking dentist would recommend dropping it to us and I could use that our reasoning. Dentist shrugged and said it didn’t seem to be a big deal yet – let’s revisit next year!

      Then our new baby arrived and I really didn’t want to take away his comfort object. Our nanny told him there was a new baby and she was the only one getting pacis now so he should give them to her aaaand kid didn’t mind! Went super smoothly and he loves the baby and there’s been no weird jealousy.

      All this to say, it can go a lot of ways. What I worried about didn’t materialize in our case (but I think they were valid worries still!). You can kind of play this by ear a bit!

  2. Paging So Anon re: Provence recs says

    I looked up my itinerary and we stayed near Brignoles. If you’re interested in recs for that area lmk!

  3. Pogo says

    To the anon to other day w/ paris recs – I created a burner email and would love to get your thoughts about Paris with a toddler!

    pogo dot r3tte at the mails of the G.

  4. Govtattymom says

    Hi all! I would love a recommendation for a family-friendly resort for this summer’s vacation. Ideally, the resort would have a pool, kiddie pool, family-friendly restaurant, and nice playground. Bonus points for a kids club and additional entertainment. I’m thinking something similar to the Disney resorts (but not Disney because we just spent the holidays there). Thanks so much!!!

    • Anonymous says

      It’s Disney and not a resort … but Disney cruise! Best low-effort family vacation ever.

      • anon says

        At a slightly lower price point, we did a Royal Caribbean cruise over the holidays and had a really fantastic time with a 3 and 6 yo. Look for one that stops in CocoCay–it’s their private island. The stop is super low effort for adults and amazing fun for little kids.

    • Anon says

      Look at Beaches. I know there is one in Turks and Caicos and I think there are some in Jamaica too.

    • lala says

      Aulani in Hawaii. All of the Disney perks but in a tropical location! We also love Hyatt Lost Pines near Austin, TX.

    • Anon says

      Where do you want to go? I’ll throw out the suggestion of a mountain ski town in the summer – something like Jackson, Park City, Vail, etc. It would be less of a resort, and more of a resort town experience. Vail is great – lots of playgrounds, most hotels have pools, lots of family friendly restaurants and Vail Village is very walkable.

    • FP says

      You might check out renting a home at the Watercolor resort in the Seaside area of Florida… they have a new kids club pool and kids program.

  5. Travel Car Seat says

    I think I might be out of options but…my son is skinny and too tall for the Cosco Scenera Next. However, he is still rear-facing in the car and we’d like to keep him in a car seat on the plane (usually forward facing due to his height) and rear facing in our rental car. Is there any car seat that would work and doesn’t weigh a ton?

    I saw the post the other day but those were all forward-facing.

    • Anonymous says

      Graco Contender is what I usually see recommended. It weighs 15 lbs, but rear faces longer by height (same 40 lb weight limit for rear facing).

          • Anonymous says

            Nvm, just went to look this up and the RF limit for the Sureride is 40″, so same as the Next. Graco Contender is 49″, so that’s likely your best bet!

  6. Winter sun says

    Anyone have recommendations for a toddler-friendly, all-inclusive resort for some winter sun? Thinking about a quick getaway in February or March — we’d prefer a nonstop flight from the DC area which seems to limit things a bit …

    • anon says

      If you want to skip the hassle of a flight, we’ve done Great Wolf Lodge as a winter getaway with a toddler and had a great time. The kid was so tired from swimming that they dropped right to sleep each night. No sun, but surprisingly refreshing.

        • anon says

          It’s even better if you can get friends with kid(s) similar in age to go too. Then you can chat while the kids splash. :)

      • Anon says

        I see this recommended here a lot, but they (well at least the ones in my area) all have pretty terrible reviews online, and the price is HIGH…like $500+/night for just the room and waterpark. I assume this wouldn’t work with older kids, but my toddler would be just as happy at a family-friendly luxury hotel with a pool. And a luxury hotel has a lot more for mom and dad…great food, great spa, etc.

        • anon says

          Online reviews often are biased towards negative experiences. I know I am less likely to post a review if I’ve had a good experience.

          We’ve been to GWL twice and had a great time both times. GWL run discounts all the time, so you don’t pay sticker unless it’s a holiday week/weekend.

          (By comparison, we had a terrible experience at Disney with broken rides, hotel room issues, technology problems with their stupid app, and rude staff. And that costs an arm and two legs.)

          • Anon says

            I’m glad to hear you had a good experience there! But I disagree that online reviews are biased towards negative experiences, especially on TripAdvisor. Most good hotels have 4.5-5 stars on TripAdvisor. It’s a red flag to me when trip-planning if a hotel has “only” 4 stars because TripAdvisor reviews skew SO positive (not saying there aren’t any good hotels with this rating, but it stands out in a negative way). And the Great Wolf Lodge near me has only 3.5 stars.

      • Anon says

        Also if you want to skip the hassle of a flight, check out the Homestead or the Greenbrier. I think you can get meal packages that make it similar to an all inclusive, they’re pretty kid friendly but still lots of things for parents to do, and importantly, if your kid is at least 3 and fully trained (no pull-ups or diapers), there is kids club you can drop them in for full or part day if you want to, say, book a spa appointment or a leisurely lunch.

      • Buble says

        Make sure to sign up for an online Great Wolf Lodge account to be eligible for discounts — don’t pay full price!

    • Anonymous says

      We had a good experience at the one in Minneapolis…but the food was absolutely awful. We were glad we had happened to pack a bunch of room snacks (including some cheese/sausage/etc. for protein, too).

    • CHL says

      We went to the Grand Palladium Le Colonial in Riviera Maya last year (direct flight from Chicago to Cancun). It was not too kid-centric, but had a nice kids pool area, a good beach and a kids club with activities. Also there is a little train thing that our kids loved to ride between buildings and a lot of critters to get excited about seeing. All inclusive resort food, which was fine for our kids.

    • Canadian says

      Not sure about the nonstop flight fromDC, but we are headed to the Paradisus Playa Del Carmen La Esmeralda (fly into Cancun) which from reviews and my travel agent seems to be very toddler friendly. Kids club after age 1, swim up rooms for naptime, water park, and they even have an option for “family concierge” which is basically a butler to help your family (this add on wasn’t in our budget). Bonus that a lot of their rooms are suites with a separate sleeping space so that kids can nap/go to bed early and you aren’t trapped in a dark room.

      • CHL says

        I’m so glad to see this – I’m going to LaEsmerelda in March (Costco Deal) and cant’t wait!

  7. Anonymous says

    We were using our second bedroom as an office, and we’ve slowly been transitioning it to a nursery. However, we’re stuck on what to do with our wifi/modem set up — the internet cable is only set up in that room, and if we moved it we’d have to deal with a long cord running through the condo. Has anyone else had this issue, and what did you do?

    • Anonymous says

      We had this issue and just left the set up in the nursery. We cut a hole in the back of a bookshelf, so it sat on that. We ended up switching from cable to fiber before she was really mobile, so it is now connected in another room, but otherwise would have left it and moved it up a few shelves out of her reach.

    • Anonymous says

      Is there a reason you can’t just leave it there? Baby won’t be old enough to crawl around for at least 6 months, and then you can evaluate if you can just tuck it under a bureau, put it on a shelf out of reach, etc.

      Signed, we definitely didn’t take everything potentially hazardous out of the baby’s room because we have a small house

    • SC says

      We had this issue. We flipped the bedrooms–so the original guest bedroom/office became the master bedroom/office, and the original master bedroom became the nursery. There was no clear “master” in that apartment though, and the bathroom was off the hallway, so it worked. There were some other advantages too–the room we switched to had the larger closet, and the nursery was at the back of the apartment and further from the living room/TV and the street.

    • T says

      I had someone come and reroute our ethernet (it came into the garage and down into the living room via attic, we rerouted to put wifi in a weird ceiling nook and then also run an ethernet plug to the home office). In total was $200. Look on thumbtack for someone who can do this, it’s pretty easy.

  8. AnotherAnon says

    I’m reaching for some creative backup care solutions. My 3 y/o attends montessori school, which we love, but I’m struggling to find care for him on school holidays and the few weeks in the summer when school is closed. I’ve posted on care dot com, but all applicants are looking for a full-time nanny position (which I fully understand). His teachers are occasionally available, but they haven’t been a reliable source of backup care. Family isn’t an option. I realize this problem is only going to get worse as he gets older and is out of school for the summer. Our area has a lot of retirees and households with at least one SAHP, so most of the nearby options are mothers’ day out that operate part time and do not offer drop-in care. I’ve asked a few retirees around my neighborhood but no one is interested (again I understand). I’ve posted on the working mom’s board at work – no responses yet. There’s a drop-in facility 30 minutes from my office; it would add an hour to my commute but honestly I’m considering just trying that for the upcoming holiday (MLK). Should I post at the local community college asking for a mother’s helper/backup care? What are the creative solutions I’m not thinking of here?

    • Anon says

      Are there any stay at home moms nearby that would be happy to watch your kid (along with their own) on an as-need basis? I’ve seen this come up on NextDoor occasionally. No experience with this setup myself though.

    • Anonymous says

      Local high school student. They will have all/most of the same days off. If you had an infant, I’d be more cautious but a 3 y/o is fine to leave with a responsible high schooler. Network with your neighbors, ask around.

      We have a couple daycares/summer camps around me (boston suburb) that are super flexible and you can sign up for just a week or two over the summer. Signup is soon around here.

      You could also consider talking to a daycare teacher, but that may not be as fruitful.

    • Anonymous says

      Also, talk to other parents at your kiddo’s school and see what they do. Maybe you’ll get some ideas. Best case, maybe they’ll offer to split their childcare :)

    • Anonymous says

      Advertise specifically to post-secondary/community college programs which might be on break at the same time so available but also looking to build childcare experience. Think early childhood education, child psychology, child and youth worker, social work programs etc. Most colleges have a career office that includes a job board for postings.

      Ask teachers if they have any friends who might be interested.

      • Anonymous says

        Most community colleges also offer early childhood education programs so you could find an interested and capable person!

      • OP says

        Only one other mom works. I’ll ask her what she does for backup care next time I see her; she mentioned at the Christmas pageant they have no local family. That’s a good point about asking the other SAHMs if they could watch him or if they have regular babysitters they’d be willing to share. I’ll also post on NextDoor. Thanks for the responses everyone!

        • Anonymous says

          Only one other parent works? Wow. In my area it’s very common for 3 year olds of SAHMs to attend part-time preschool during the academic year, but this sounds like a full day, mostly year-round school and I’m surprised so many families with a SAHP would put their kids in that kind of school.

          • Anonymous says

            Not the OP, but around here Montessori is full-day only starting at 4 or 4 and won’t taken kids for K unless they’ve already been in a Montessori program, so if you want your kid to go to the public Montessori magnet they start full-time as preschoolers even if you’re a SAHP.

        • DLC says

          Definitely ask the other parents for resources or if they would be willing to help- call it a paid play date! I work as a freelancer and when there are random holidays where I’m not booked for work, I’m happy to have my children’s friends over- we treat it like a babysitting swap and the other parents later will watch my kids for a date night or something. It’s nice to have a play date for my kid on those no school/ snow days so I don’t have to be the only one entertaining my kids all day. I know it depends on the parents, but I would try that.
          Also, second the idea of a college student.

    • anne-on says

      I’ve done the local community college as a stop gap for daycare holidays. I’d also look into other daycares that do ‘camp’ programs for when yours is closed, it’s pretty common around here for that, and for the local Y’s, indoor play gyms to run ‘schools out’ camps. If he’s reliably potty trained that makes it even easier.
      Long term though, real school was when we made the swap to an au pair. Trying to get reliable coverage for 3-6:30pm M-F plus summers and school breaks was just too difficult (unless you wanted to pay for 40 hours a week of coverage and only use that 30% of the time!). Plus we may be an outlier, but in our town, pre-k and k kids weren’t eligible for after care (too small).

    • CCLA says

      Expensive, but time-saving: use a nanny agency. They background check, ensure CPR certified, etc., so while I pay a higher hourly rate than average and a booking fee, I prefer it for the ease. The owner has worked with us for 3 years now and always makes an effort to arrange someone we’ve had before, so usually by now it’s one of the 6 or so familiar repeat professional nannies.

    • anon says

      I found care.com more helpful for summer weeks (lots of college students looking for a few weeks of work). It is easier to do camps when the kids are a little older. And lots of parent swaps…as they get older, it’s so much easier to have friends over because they entertain themselves.

    • Anonymous says

      I’m going to over-elaborate on the babysitter and nanny referral service because until you have used them as a back-up service, it might not be obvious how they are helpful. Also, at least in my area, many of the services don’t explain (or even mention) their back-up services on their websites. However, I have found the babysitter/ nanny services to be the most helpful in finding back-up care.
      In my area we have several babysitter referral services where you may a yearly fee (under $100) and they guarantee to find you a sitter if you give them sufficient notice. So the service I used required 2 days notice – and they will find me someone for the days my daycare is closed. They also can try and find service on less notice, but there is not a guarantee. When I used the babysitter referral service, all of the sitters were college students (or younger).
      Some of the nanny referral services (like the one I used) have backup care services for the families that have hired a nanny through their service. If I need a back-up because my nanny is out for any reason, the service will find me a fill-in. However, my service lets non-referral clients buy-in to the back-up service for $400 a year. The price is much higher than the babysitter service because the care is provided by nannies, most of whom have years of experience.
      We currently have daycare plus part-time nanny. If I didn’t have back-up service with our placement through our nanny referral, I would still pay for it separately.
      Google nanny/ babysitter services in your area. Even if they do not seem to offer anything about back up care, call them and ask about back-up services.

  9. Elvie pump says

    Has anyone used the Elvie pump? It didn’t exist when I had my first and it seems so much better than a traditional pump. Especially because I travel frequently for work. I’m already sick of dragging around my Medela.

    • lala says

      No experience with the Elvie, but I have the Willow and LOVE it. Having a wearable pump has been a major game changer for me (this is my third kid).

    • Anonymous says

      No personal experience, but I have a friend who was just waxing poetic about it!

    • Canadian says

      No personal experience, but have spent time with a friend (including while she was using it) and she swears by the Elvie! Seems like a genius invention.

  10. Anonymous says

    Social anxiety in preschooler: Experiences? Resources? Is therapy an option?

    I’m wondering if my preschooler’s “shyness” is actually anxiety. And if so, what resources and /or therapy is available at this age. We have an appointment scheduled with our pediatrician and I would like to be prepared with talking points.

    At daycare and in familiar situations, he’s outgoing, silly, and plays well with his peers. But “shuts down” (turns back, stares at the floor, holds tightly to our hand) in certain situations if lots of attention is focused on him. For example, we were late to lunch with two other families so everyone was settled in and eating apps when we arrived at the table. All attention was on us and the greetings/hugs overwhelmed him—he sat on the floor by my chair facing away from the table for twenty or so minutes; he eventually came out, sat on his own chair and later played with our friends.

    We try to prep him ahead of time but I wonder if that anticipation feeds into the anexity.

    This is not a recent development, he would also “shut down” as a toddler. It’s a bigger concern now because he will enter kindergarten next fall. Current teachers say he’s academically ready except for this.

    Has anyone else’s kiddo experience this? Any advice or recommendations?

    • Anonymous says

      People have different personalities, and I think it’s within the realm of normal to be overwhelmed by attention. It sounds like he’s handling it pretty well if he’s not melting down or causing a scene. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to mention it to your pediatrician. But if it were my child, I wouldn’t be too stressed about it. Personal opinion, and I don’t want to offend anyone who has a diagnosis for their child, but I believe there’s too much emphasis on labeling every quirk or eccentricity as social anxiety/ADHD/Asperger’s etc. now.

      • Anon says

        +1 we are pushing our kids into potentially stressful and demanding situations at younger ages (eg rigorous full day K) and then pathologizing their developmentally normal reactions

        • Anonymous says

          Yeah. My therapist once said (summing up Freud) It’s only a mental illness if it keeps you from work or love.

          I will say 20 minutes is a LONG time for a preschooler to do anything and getting him some techniques for dealing with anxiety would be more important to me at this age than getting a firm diagnosis. But I’d also keep this on my radar for when he gets older.

    • Anonymous says

      Some kids are just shy? This doesn’t seem that unusual. I sometimes let me shyer twin sit on my lap in a new situation. Usually he’ll sit sideways and kind of look around a bit. Holding hands or otherwise maintaining physical contact helps by providing reassurance of our presence. If he’s doing fine at daycare, I don’t see why you’re concerned that he wouldn’t be fine at kindergarten once he gets used to the routines/new environment.

    • Anon says

      Hopefully others chime in, but this seems normal to me? He’s probably an introvert that needs time to settle in (common advice for introverts is to arrive early to parties because it is much harder to insert yourself into the situation when you’re late). It actually seems like a good sign – and a sign of an attached child – that he is able to calmly stay near you while he acclimates, and then when he’s comfortable joins in with the group. Unfortunately, our culture and standards of normal are set by extroverts. Reading “Quiet” by Susan Cain may help you. (I don’t mean to label your son, but just giving you another perspective to consider.)

    • Anonymous says

      This also seems like typical behavior to me and is what my twins do in unfamiliar situations (one more than the other).

    • anon says

      We try to arrive at the activity early so she can be in the room when it’s calm and then watch it fill up slowly. That transition time helps.

    • Yup says

      I think this is normal behavior for a prek kid, but I also think it’s normal for you to worry about it. Can you switch from prepping ahead of time to offering reassurance in the moment? Hold his hand or let him sit in your lap, don’t force him to hug strangers or even greet them (you can teach manners all in good time), allow him to sit alone for a while; honestly it sounds like you’re handling this really well already and you just need some reassurance. From my own personal experience (and DH, who was a very shy kid), parents “prepping” me for a social situation did make it worse. I would ruminate over the possibilities of what could go wrong, and I’d obsessively rehearse what I would say. I won’t even get into DH and his verbally abusive father telling him to be more outgoing and asking repeatedly if he was gay. ANYWAY. That being said, I agree with Anonymous at 1:08 that spectrum disorders are over-emphasized these days. You say that he’s happy, outgoing and plays well at day care but his teachers are concerned: what specifically are they concerned about? What are they advising you to do about this? I’d ask them for specific examples and coping strategies, mention it to your ped and go from there.

  11. Anonymous says

    Can someone please reassure me that it’s normal to have baby fever when friends have cute, fat babies and doesn’t mean you need another child? We feel very confident that our family is complete for a variety of reasons and even if we had one more it’s not like the baby stage would last all that long anyway! But someone we know just had the CUTEST baby and I feel like my ovaries are exploding. The funny thing is I’m not a baby person at all and I enjoyed my own kids way more once they were walking and talking, but there is just something about seeing a squishy newborn that gives me all the feels.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      Why would we put up with losing sleep, hysterical crying seemingly at random, dealing with an entirely helpless roommate who actually creates more messes, etc. if they weren’t extremely cute? :) I think this is normal.

    • jjj says

      I’ll call you at 3am to discuss. A second commentator will call you at 3:20am to discuss.

    • Anon says

      So normal. I am in the same boat, done with kids and now that my brother just had a squishy baby, I am enjoying him to bits! And enjoying giving him back for diaper changes. And at bedtime, when I can go back to my calm, self-soothing elementary schoolkids!

  12. Anonymous says

    Looking for recommendations on bowls/dishes for infants (and I guess growing into a toddler). At the moment, we’re making all of our own baby food (my husband is having an absolute blast doing this, and we only have the one child and already cook a ton, so it’s easy to just make the baby some purees and freeze it). Currently, as our child isn’t eating a ton of volume of food at this time (and we’re spoon feeding the baby the puree), we were just using some of the glass and silicon cooking prep bowls that we have. Now, we’re looking at the baby eating a larger volume of food so we need to get bigger bowls for the baby to eat out of. (and, quite frankly, my husband wants all of his prep bowls for his own cooking)

    What does everyone use and like? I see a lot of the bowls that suction onto tables/high chair trays, and I’m fine with that concept, but I was wondering if anyone uses a non-plastic option with their kids? Ideally, I think it would be something that works, but isn’t “kid specific”.

    • layered bob says

      We use all metal and glass with our kids. We love the Oneida Revere baby and toddler flatware sets and then use Duralex and Corelle plates, bowls and cups, which come in a variety of baby-appropriate sizes. If the child is having trouble with the dish sliding around, we put a damp baby washcloth underneath to provide traction.

    • Malty says

      We used all our normal everyday Jamie Oliver china from the beginning with our first (after he was through the stage of eating directly off our clean table). Used small mason jars for drinking glasses. A couple sets of metal toddler silverware. It was so easy. Nothing broke with our now five year old. We will see how his younger brother does.

      We saw no need to buy more stuff. We also have an absolute rule: food and drink at the table only. So we didn’t need a sippy cup. Bought a water bottle for the car later.

    • shortperson says

      we have a few stainless kids bowl/plate/cup sets from amazon. and several sets of flatware (kiddobloom/oneida) just buy a bunch of sets now so that you can keep/stack them. our kids use them every day.

      • Anonymous says

        Honest non snarky question from mom of 2: what is the benefit of toddler flatware? We have used teaspoons and salad forks without incident.

        • shortperson says

          the little ones are easier for them to hold and use and they have cute designs. our kids go to a montessori school that scales everything down to the kids’ size (i.e. the chair sin the ones room are smaller than the chairs in the twos room) so that they can feel competent, so perhaps that influenced me to buy child size things. i dont think it’s necessary but for the cost per use i dont mind.

    • Anonymous says

      For babies we just use our regular dishes to hold the food but honestly just put the food directly into high chair tray once big enough to feed self. Some plastic target plates and random small plastic bowls after that till they can be trusted with regular. I wouldn’t overthink this.

    • Anonymous says

      Borsilicate glass prep bowls. Then the dessert dishes that came with our dishes (Fishes Eddy). But we have wood floors. If we’d had tile I would have opted for Corelle white. The fewer options you have the less your kid will have a fit about those options.

      Kids dishes are a tantrum fuel, pre-landfill late capitalism scam. Save yourself.

  13. preK-4 dilemmas says

    We’re moving somewhere that has public preK-4 as part of the magnet elementary schools (yay free childcare for most of the year!) but because it’s in the elem school they get the same recess as everyone else, which is to say 20 minutes a day. I think this school would be an awesome fit for my kid, but I’m wary of school 9-4 with only 20 minutes outside. In preK-3 at his current daycare, they go outside for an hour every morning and then from 4:15 to pickup every afternoon.

    Anyone have a kid in a similar school-structured program at age 4 and have any feedback?

    • Anonymous says

      It sounds like you are talking about a 40 minute difference from your current situation though, right (since after 4 pm could be lots of outside time)? That may not be such a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I would ask if they do dancing in the classroom, gym, or other gross motor activities in addition to recess – it may be more than you think. Or if you are more worried about unstructured play time than gross motor exercise per se, ask about that – they may have a lot of choice time. NYC’s public prek curriculum is at least in theory very play based.

    • Anon says

      We have our four-year-old son in public preK this year and it’s a full school day, five days a week. The lack of outdoor time is my biggest complaint – some days they don’t even go outside at all (if there’s a drop of precipitation or it’s approaching freezing ::eyeroll:: And we live in the Northeast!). That said, overall it has been fine and we are very happy with the experience. Before he started school I worried about all sorts of details, but once we got into the swing of things they didn’t really bother me. What do you have planned for after school? It’s harder in the winter, but when it stayed light out later (and when it does again) I give my son a chunk of outdoor playtime when he gets home. And tons on weekends!

    • Sarabeth says

      This was a worry for me, and we solved it by doing an aftercare share with a few other families instead of using the on-site program. We are lucky that all live a few blocks from the school, so it’s easy for the afterschool sitter to pick up all the kids and bring them back to our house. We usually host because we are across the street from a huge park, and the kids play there as long as it’s remotely reasonable weather. They get out of school at 3, so even in the middle of winter they usually get a few hours of outdoor time. The other parents pick up their kids by 5:30.

      We started this when my older kid was in K, and are now in our third year. There are some drawbacks – it’s a bit more expensive, I have to remember to have snacks in the house, and when it’s raining the kids sometimes make a mess, which the sitter tries to stay on top of but doesn’t alway succeed. Overall, though, it’s worked great, and it’s way less money than paying for an extra year of daycare.

  14. newborn schedules says

    When do you start attempting to get a baby on a sleep schedule? I feel like we have a loose one that kind of happened organically but I’m wondering when I need to be more intentional about it.

    • ALC says

      Anecdotally, we did not. Once he went to daycare, they figured out when to put him down for naps, and he is vaguely on a schedule now (6 mos) but before I went back to work it was whenever he seemed a little sleepy. Definitely be proactive about putting the baby down before they get overtired though.

    • NYCer says

      I would say that we tried to get into a routine around 8 weeks. It definitely wasn’t a strict schedule because naps were still really variable at that point, but we at least tried to feed every X hours (I think it was every 3 hours during the day by that point? Could have still been 2?) and start the bedtime routine around 7pm.

      Caveats: baby was drinking pumped milk from a bottle by 8 weeks so I knew exactly how much she was getting, and is/was a G R E A T night sleeper and started sleeping through the night by 10 weeks.

    • AnotherAnon says

      I started gently leaning into sleep training at 5 months by moving baby’s crib out of our room and into his nursery (next to our room), but every baby is different and mine was a decent sleeper from the beginning. I had originally planned to keep him in our room (in his crib) until age 1, but 5 months was the right call for us – we all slept better! We still experienced all the normal sleep regressions, but I was really thankful that our sleep training foundation helped us get through them with minimal sleep disruptions for everyone.

    • CCLA says

      When (or even whether) you need to depends on your goals. My highest priority was long sleep stretches at night. We started scheduling around 6-8 weeks, using the Moms on Call schedules. Heads up it has a mild religious bent but I just ignored that and focused on the schedules, which were very helpful and I highly recommend. If you’re still in the early weeks, routine is more important than schedule (ie doing things in a certain order rather than at a specific time, so baby learns to associate bath/books with “night sleep”). Anecdotally, both of our kids were sleeping 11-12 hours a night by 12 weeks with fairly predictable napping and I credit virtually all of that to the scheduling. It did mean paying close attention to structuring days around naps, but I found freedom rather than constraint in the relative predictability of it, and also found the “crazy day” guidelines in the MOC book helpful for still being able to get out and do things without screwing up the schedule too much.

      • Ashley says

        One counterpoint–we tried MOC and still had a baby waking up every 3 hours at 12 weeks, so YMMV based on your kid’s temperament :)
        We ended up following advice from Taking Cara Babies (followed on insta and bought the class), and that worked well for us.

        • CCLA says

          Oh man, I guess we were also quite lucky then. Good to know! I have also heard great things about the Cara course.

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