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Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Edna Mazur says
Rookie mistake: if you teach your two year old how to play peek-a-boo with their unborn sibling using your shirt, they will invariably want to try it again in church. Good thing for over the bump maternity panels on pants!
Frozen Peach says
This is hilarious! Thanks for the much-needed laugh this afternoon.
Edna Mazur says
Glad to oblige!
Anon says
Does anyone actually manage to be productive while pumping in the office? I’m fortunate to have a private office with a locking door, and I always intend to get stuff done while pumping. But the set up is awkward with my keyboard and the stress involved in actually working causes a noticeable supply drop. I guess I’m just looking for commiseration or advice on tasks that others do.
Anon says
The only “productive” thing I did was read news articles. Otherwise I just used it as time for a mental break because I found the short time period to not be conducive to actually getting things done.
Edna Mazur says
I was never able to get anything work-wise productive done, especially as I had to go to another room and it just took too much time to pack my computer, and get it set up for all of ten minutes. I did find that I was more productive during non-pumping time if I gave myself that break. I used the time to make a quick personal call or send a personal email, browse a website, balance my checkbook, make a grocery shopping list, plan dinners, pay a bill or buy something online, write a thank-you note/birthday card, etc. which majorly cut down or eliminated those distractions while I was sitting at my desk.
Jen says
I read & reply to emails by phone. Also, if for some reason I need more to do (ha!) I read press releases that my team sends me.
Anonymous says
Agree that you should just use this as a time to take a mental break or casually respond to emails on your phone. The fact that you have your own office to do this in already means you’re probably taking the shortest break possible. And if it’s affecting the amount of milk you’re getting out of each session, it seems like just letting yourself zone out is the best option.
Ai says
I do pretty okay reading and responding to emails, or sitting on conference calls, but also sometimes use the time to take a quick break.
Knope says
So I find that looking at pictures/videos of my baby while pumping makes me produce more and thus shortens the length of my pumping session – I’ve found that it’s easier to do that for efficiency rather than trying to multitask.
SC says
I was never productive in the sense of billable hours or real work. I used the time to respond to emails, organize, administrative tasks, reading articles, etc. Or I used it to take a break. I tried to use the Pomodoro method and pump during the long breaks, at least on days when I was mostly working in my office instead of in meetings and conference calls.
lsw says
Nope, unless I’m really pressed and need to answer a few simple emails. It’s too complicated to use the keyboard and my arms are akimbo with the pump bottles. Usually I look at photos and videos of my baby and/or check personal email on my phone.
Anonymous says
I’ve done conference calls on mute while power pumping for an hour, (and turned off the pump when I need to respond – infrequent, though).
Anonymous says
Any experience with pregnancy induced hypertension/gestational hypertension?
I’m 35 weeks and was just diagnosed last week. I had a nonstress test and labs done to check for preeclampsia and everything came back fine, but I’m now on blood pressure medication, having a ton of extra monitoring, and will be induced at 39 weeks.
I had none of the risk factors and didn’t have this with my first pregnancy, so I’m a bit overwhelmed.
MomAnon4This says
Can you ask for a re-test or is it 1 and done?
Was it an especially difficult morning or commute to the test the first time – what did you eat that day?
A lot of things can affect the test. On one hand, better safe than sorry, but on the other, I’m sure it’s a (temporary) inconvenience.
Anonymous says
I bought a blood pressure machine for home use and my blood pressure has been fine when I check it. But I went in to my doctor’s office yesterday and it was high again. Honestly I think getting checked in the office now stresses me out because I’m worried it will be high so then it does go high. I’m going with the flow and of course doing all of the recommended non stress tests. But man it’s a lot of extra appointments!
Anon says
My BP at home is super low 105/60 ish low. But at the doctor’s office it’s a good 10-15 points higher (between traffic, usually running late and my general aversion to doctors). I find if I sit there a little bit and they retake it at the end it usually comes down 5-10 points, so you might try that.
Another BigLaw Parent says
I had gestational hypertension in my first pregnancy and was diagnosed in the first trimester. They had me monitor my BP every day, but no meds. They also kept a close eye on me for preeclampsia but I never developed it. It made a difference at the end — my last weekly appt my OB let me go home but told me I was borderline and if my BP was that high the next appt, they would induce. I went into labor on my own two days later (just shy of 38 weeks). Because of the BP concerns, I could only labor in bed because I had to be constantly monitored. So be prepared that if you have high BP now, they will likely stick a BP cuff on you and keep you in bed once you get to the hospital.
I agree with other commenters that they should let you re-take the measurements. If I had high BP at the OB’s office, they told me to relax for 10 minutes and they’d come back and re-check it.
Mj says
Preeclampsia is so scary. I found the extra tests ( I was not
Able to work, had Non stress tests and ultrasounds 2x/ week) and monitoring were so important. You are almost there. Good luck!
rakma says
Sorry this is a day late–hope you see this.
Yes, for both pregnancies. For the first one, I stayed in the borderline range, no medication, they’d re-check my BP at the end of the appt and it’d be lower, no issues with BP during delivery.
Mid-way through my second pregnancy, I went from having beautiful perfect BP readings to high readings in the office. Repeated readings would be lower, but because the initial readings were so high, I was put on medication. Dr’s reasoning was this: Yes, the readings go down (and I could show a few hours of regular low readings) but the potential for issues related to the higher readings, even for a sort time, were something he didn’t want to risk. Even short periods of high BP can reduce blood flow to the placenta, and thus to the baby. Not having preeclampsia is good (really good!) but controlling the BP is still important.
This isn’t something you can control–this is just how your body is reacting to this pregnancy. This is not related to your diet, weight or salt levels (despite my MIL’s insistence that it was just like normal high BP)
Anonymous says
Love lockets.
Not a question, not a rant. Not sure what I am trying to even say here. I’m 9 days late. We have a toddler. Have been undecided about more kids. Obviously we were okay with a bit of calculated risk but now that it seems like it might be the case I am weirdly nervous and panicked? All I can think is how I don’t want to give up my body for year plus of pregnancy and then nursing and how our life has just gotten comfortable with our toddler and we finally have enough room and having a new little one would upend all of that, not to mention that we wouldn’t be able to travel or give kid no. 1 the same things if we had childcare expenses for two to worry about ….
On top of all this, my office is undergoing a restructuring and my job, while secure, is about to become a lot duller. In many ways this is a perfect opportunity to lean out but I also feel resentful of the fact that if I am what I think I am then I will be foregoing a chance to switch things up and maybe lean in somewhere else, if that makes sense? Anyway, not sure what I’m trying to ask or say. Just wanted to get that off my chest. I know step 1 is to take a test. This could all be much ado about nothing. I’m just in that really weird spot where I just really, really don’t want to know :-/
Anonymous says
We intentionally tried for number two, and I still felt/feel all the things you are describing! Adding another person to your family is a big deal no matter how it happens. I’m due in a few weeks and still find myself asking if we’ve made a huge mistake (although I am of course also very excited to meet this baby!).
Take a test. Let yourself freak out. There is absolutely no “right” way to feel.
mascot says
I think all of this is a completely normal reaction. I had a similar scare when our kid was a toddler and ran through all the emotions leading up to what ended up being a negative test. At the time, we were ambivalent about having a second, but that really crystallized for us both that we were one and done.
CHJ says
Take the test! You’re either worrying for nothing or you have a big life change to face. I had an oops pregnancy under the same circumstances – one toddler, on the fence about more kids, not wanting to go back to the very beginning with sleep/hormones/body autonomy. I was completely freaked out for several weeks (and my husband was even more freaked out), but pregnancy is very slow and you have tons of time to get used to the idea if that’s what’s really going on. So go take the test and report back! Do it this morning!
OP says
I can’t imagine that this is something I would want to do at work. Just in terms of the garbage alone…. I’ll do it at home. But thanks for the encouragement!
October says
I just want to chime in and say that you can take “not being able to give #1 all the opportunities” off your worry list. I was the first child, and my family didn’t have money for any “extras” while I was little, aside from swimming lessons (my siblings got dance, sports, horse lessons, etc. since my parents had more money by them). I would never, ever trade my sisters for “enrichment opportunities.” Hands down, having them in my life is the best ever. If you do have a second, then life with a sibling will be normal and expected for your first, and s/he will never know or wonder about what “could have been.” As parents today, we put too much stress on what we can give our children. Food, shelter, love and a base level of education — that is what is required. And letting kids be bored or seek out their own opportunities for fun and learning is better than anything structured we can put in place.
Cornellian says
That’s a really sweet take!
OP says
That is very sweet, thank you. It’s probably hormones but I got all misty eyed reading it. I think it’s just a different life/lifestyle and, in contemplating it, I’m partially lamenting the loss of the road not taken. If my test comes back negative, I’ll probably think about the alternative the same way. I think as a naturally overly analytical type this is probably inevitable. Thanks for your post :-)
Anonymous says
I was in your spot about 2 weeks ago, but I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old. I ended up actually being 10 days late, but I wasn’t pregnant. I had made peace with the possibility, though.
re: another kid- I’m on the other side of the losing my body fear. It wasn’t a picnic, but it’s done and now my kids play together! they leave me alone! they are so fun to watch and have a blast with each-other. They spent FORTY FIVE MINUTES with a cardboard box this weekend. I got to drink my coffee in peace and it cost me $0 in toys or enrichment activities. They play in our yard together, way more than my older one ever did alone/with a parent. They could go all the way to Kindy without going to dance or soccer or whatever and be none the wiser.
Frozen Peach says
My DH brought up trying for our second this weekend. Oh man I was hoping it would be longer. I’m just now feeling “recovered” from a bad case of PPD, just stopped lactating about six months ago, my kid just turned 2, etc. DH is ready. As the person who will likely deal with horrible nausea for 9 months while pregnant and providing the family’s sole income, and horrible depression for 9 months to a year after pregnancy, I am less than thrilled of jumping on that ride again. DH’s point is that we won’t necessarily succeed right away, we want more than 2 so we should get going. I hear him, and as a SAHD I guess that having more kids give him….job security? A sense of purpose? I am emotionally ready for the idea of another baby, but NOT for pregnancy and afterwards. I just got my body and mind back!!! How long is reasonable to ask to defer, since we have already agreed to have at least 2? If it matters, I have at least a decade of solid fertility years ahead.
ElisaR says
if its any consolation, i am finding my second pregnancy much easier than my first. so maybe you won’t have to deal with 9 months of horrible nausea. But really it sounds like you’re not ready. His argument doesn’t hold water – he says you might not succeed right away. But guess what–you might! Don’t do it until you’re ready.
Anonymous says
It’s totally reasonable to defer until you feel 100% ready. Give it 6 months and revisit and you might feel different. World health organization says 3-5 years between kids is optimal spacing for maternal health but if you need longer to feel ready, take the time.
Baby Sleeping in Same Room? says
Early third trimester here. We are setting up the nursery, and I have also registered for a small bassinet for our bedroom. I know the AAP used to recommend sleeping with the baby in the same room for 6 mos. and now recommends 12 mos, which seems insane to me. This is something I plan to discuss with the pediatrician, but am I crazy for intending that baby sleep in the nursery in the crib (which is also a cooler room I might add)? Maybe not when she’s feeding every two hours, but once we get past that stage and she is sleeping a little longer (maybe 3-4 hours)? My mother thinks I’m crazy for considering having the kid in the bedroom at all, but I also had to explain to her that we don’t put bumpers or comforters in cribs anymore, so she’s a little out of touch. We are planning to use a video monitor and the Snuza that clips onto the diaper. What do people really do?
Cornellian says
You’re not crazy. I thought we’d have our son (who turned 5 months today) in our room until he was maybe 4 months, but now I can’t imagine making the switch. I think we’ll probably make the switch around 10 or 12 months once he’s eating a lot of real food.
If you plan on breastfeeding, you may be surprised at how much easier having baby a few feet away from you is. We have a washable water resistant pad (link to follow) that we throw down on the bed to nurse him on, and change his diaper in the dark room before he goes back to bed. Going down the hallway and using a changing table seems like it would add 15 min to the process (and risk thoroughly waking the kid up).
Cornellian says
http://www.allegromedical.com/incontinence-c525/reusable-bedpads-p563572.html?utm_campaign=Comparison%20Shopping&utm_source=froogle&utm_medium=feed&CS_003=9164468&CS_010=ff8081812db7f40a012db94d4b5f30d8&gclid=CNyP9oSvqdQCFUtXDQod3iMOfg&kwid=productads-adid^53190000973-device^c-plaid^186102925933-sku^12DB@ADL494D5111@ADL4ALLEGRO-adType^PLA#12DB-94D5111
These have been amazing. I put one on the couch when I’m hanging out with the baby, one on the bed for nursing, when I traveled with him I took one to change him on, etc.
Pogo says
At my shower the other day another mom gave me a pack of 2 of these (different brand but same product). I did not think about all the uses until she started rattling them off! Also imagine it helps with the post-partum sweating/bed soaking situation.
Cornellian says
I love them. If you can hang them dry apparently they will retain their water resistance longer.
They are not 100% water proof, but I think if they were they would be all sweaty and uncomfortable to lie on. Your mom is a smart woman.
Cornellian says
Sorry, the OTHER mom.
I am still sweaty at night and my kid just turned 5 months. I don’t think that’s typical, but you really do not want to add “change the sheets” to your 12 and 3 and 5 AM wakeups.
CHJ says
I read an article about this just a few hours ago!
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/06/05/531582634/babies-sleep-better-in-their-own-rooms-after-4-months-study-finds
With my first, he slept in our bedroom until he was 15 months old, and it was terrible. None of us got any sleep and I was a hormonal, exhausted mess. I’m also in my 3rd tri now, with #2, and I’m very interested in having him sleep in his own room much earlier. I’m curious to hear what everyone else has done.
Baby Sleeping in Same Room? says
That article was what brought this concern to the forefront this week. Some of the reaction I’ve seen is that sleeping too long/uninterrupted is part of the problem for SIDS. But that’s from a bunch of arm-chair scientists (mostly on fb) as far as I can tell and so something to discuss with the pediatrician as well.
Pogo says
Interesting article – thanks for sharing. The 12 months also seems insane to me. I’m definitely going to ask my ped about that, because I was really planning to do 6 months until the recommendation came out…
Anon says
I sleep horribly with a baby in my room. Horribly. I have a three year old and a five month old and neither of them were in our room past two months. It’s fine. Keep all the other risk factors down and it will be fine. 12 months is ridiculous and it’s hard to believe most parents will follow that recommendation.
anon says
Also slept horribly with baby in the room and the sleep deprivation wasn’t good for anyone. Feeding in him our room wasn’t working for a couple of reasons so I was already getting up and taking him him into the nursery to eat. Moved him to his nursery next door at 2 weeks and we all did so much better. This was before the 12 month recommendation came out, though.
PregLawyer says
We moved our guy to his crib at around 2 months, because he got too long for his bassinet. Best decision ever. I LOVED getting our bedroom back. I slept so much better, cuddling improved, LGPs happened, etc. But, my kid slept for 6-7 hour stretches by 3 months, so it just wasn’t that big of a deal to go down to his room and feed him in the middle of the night.
SE DC Anon says
This was my experience too. We kept her in our room for six months just to follow the recommendations, and I really thought it was going to be hard to move her out, I was going to miss her, want to move her back, etc- nope! We all slept better and I ended up wishing I had done it earlier. She’s still feeding once at night but it’s not that hard to walk over to her room to feed her, and on fussy nights husband sleeps on the floor- so at least one of us is getting sleep instead of all of us suffering!
That said, when I went back to work around three months, it was definitely better for me mentally having her right there- I used to just sit next to her and stare at her at night because I missed her so much during the day! So I guess in conclusion don’t decide now- give yourself options and just be open either way.
AIMS says
We slept with the baby in the room for the first year. That was dictated more by necessity than anything else because we were still in our old 1 bdrm apartment until baby turned 1. That said, I found it much easier on myself to room share. I wouldn’t have believed it before she was born but even walking over an extra few feet to another room was a giant pain. With baby in the room, I kept her right next to our bed initially which made nursing her/dealing with wake ups much easier. Lean over, pick up and plop baby into bed, nurse, lean over and return. Sometimes she would cry because she lost her pacifier or just wanted her hand held, and again – so much easier to just reach over.
All that said, everyone is different. I may have felt differently if I was bottle feeding or if my kid was a particularly sensitive sleeper. FWIW, the recommendation we got was to do 6 months so I think you’ll be fine with that, but see how it goes and how you feel. If I was doing it again now and had the baby’s room all set up I think the only thing I’d do differently is set up a cot in her room for one of us to sleep uninterrupted while the other parent takes over for the night, but I’d still room share.
Cornellian says
The cot thing has been an integral part of our plan. Right now baby has a bassinet in our bedroom, and his “bedroom” just has a twin futon mattress. I often sleep all or half the night there after feeding him. This set up has worked very well for us. Our original plan was for baby to sleep next to me in a little bed extending side car bassinet, but I am way too light of a sleeper. My husband sleeps next to him and I end up in the other room 2/3 of the time halfway through the night.
walking to the next room can involve turning on lights, tripping over the dog, etc. Having baby next to us has been so much easier.
Sarabeth says
Cot is an excellent idea. With both kids, I actually moved into the nursery for six months. Baby slept the first half of the night in the nursery with me, then the second half of the night in our bedroom with my husband. That way each parent reliably got 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Then at six months, baby went into her own room (and we sleep trained).
Mrs. Jones says
Our baby slept in our room for one week. Then he was in his crib down the hall. Of course we had a monitor. I’m a light sleeper so there’s no way I would have slept at all with baby in our room.
ElisaR says
My baby slept next to our bed in a co-sleeper for 3 weeks. One night (unplanned) I was standing in his nursery and he was calm so I just put him in the crib and *poof* it was fine. He has slept in his own room ever since. We lived in a tiny house and his room was about 3 steps from ours…… And I slept much better. Newborns grunt a lot. I know they recommend the same room for what seems like an inordinate amount of time but it didn’t work for me.
Sabba says
Hi there. I’m going to share my own sleep story so that maybe something from it can help you. So. I read all the sleep studies and my beautiful plan was that my baby would sleep in 0ur room, in her bassinet, for the first six months. Then, she would move to the crib at 6 months and everything would just be hunky dory. I judged parents that co-sleeped, and I did not understand why anyone would put their baby at risk like that. And then. Baby was born. She slept a bit in the hospital her first day, hardly slept for more than 20 minutes at a time her second day, then we took her home. And. SHE WOULD NOT SLEEP. I tried the bassinet, dozens of times. I would bounce her to sleep, and then put her in it. I tried to do it right away. I tried to hold her 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes, then put her in it. I would put her in it and pat her. I turned on white noise, I made the room dark, I did the 5S techniques from Happiest Baby on the Block. I did everything I could to get her to sleep in that damn bassinet. No dice. So, I heard some babies like to sleep in the swing. Not ideal, but we were now over 24 hours into being home and I had not slept a wink. So I was willing to try the swing. I repeated the same process as I had with the bassinet, trying dozens of times to get her to sleep in it. No dice. 36 hours without sleep. My husband held the baby for 2 hours while I napped. I got up. I had heard some babies liked the carseat. I repeated the process with the carseat. Next, the bouncy seat. As soon as the baby was out of my arms, her eyes would fly open. We were about 72 hours into this, I had slept 2 hours, nothing worked. She would not sleep unless being held. My husband and I decided to trade off. He would take her for a few hours, I would try to sleep, I would take her for a few hours, off and on. I slept in 30 to 90 minute bursts for the next 36 hours. I started to hallucinate things that were not there, I was so sleep deprived. I kept trying the bassinet, the swing, the carseat, anything. My baby would NOT sleep in them. SO. Finally, I went upstairs, woke up my husband from one of his naps, told him that we could not keep doing this, and that he was kicked out of bed because I was going to cosleep with the baby because I had to sleep. Told him I was hallucinating things out of the corner of my eye. Asked him to look up how to cosleep. He diligently pulled up Google, helped me make up the bed to be a safe cosleeping environment, and baby and I slept a blissful 4 hours. My husband set his alarm downstairs and checked on us every hour for the first few days. And I was so, so angry. I was angry at the medical establishment for putting my health at risk for assuming that all babies are physically capable of sleeping in a bassinet. I was angry that no one at the hospital had discussed safe co-sleeping practices with me.
For the next few weeks, we coslept. It was not my choice. I never really enjoyed it, I was always worried about the baby.
I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. That book saved us. No one else described babies like mine–babies that forced you to co-sleep even if it was not your choice. That book helped me learn all about infant sleep. It wasn’t the best organized book, but I read it, I read it again, and then I read it some more. And then I organized our lives around my newborn baby’s sleep. For the first 3.5 months, I did everything in my power to get my baby as much sleep as possible. I found the best motions, the best sounds, the best timing, and made sure that we got in every nap and didn’t skip any sleep cycles. I worked diligently every day to make small progress to end cosleeping. The baby fought it and needed tons of soothing every time she went to sleep, but I did it because I knew how much her little body and brain needed the sleep that she seemed unable to give herself. At 6 months, we did total extinction sleep training. My daughter developed into a happy, healthy toddler with great sleeping habits, though it took us awhile to get there.
The short moral of this story is that you should make a sleep plan, but realize that sleep is largely out of your control. (Some of the most humbling lessons of parenting are that you cannot control when another person will eat, pee, poop, or sleep. You can set up favorable conditions, but those functions are entirely under the control of the human being that is doing them.) I very much hope you are lucky to get a good sleeper, or at least a decent one, but be prepared to do what you need to do to get healthy sleep for the entire family. And I highly recommend reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child once before the baby is born, and then again during the first few months. Good luck!
Sabba says
Oh, and to directly respond to the crib thing, our baby slept in our room for 5.5 months. Then she moved to the crib. I would not have kept her in my room until 12 months because she and I both slept better with her in her room, even though I still fed her at night through 10 months. If she had been a sounder sleeper, I would have kept her in my room for 10 months to make the night feedings easier for me. Every situation is different and you do what is best for your family, balancing the needs of yourself, your spouse, the baby, and any other people in the house.
Cornellian says
If anyone gets forced in to/wants to bedshare, there are guidelines for making it safer. James McKenna at Notre Dame has researched and written on it extensively: http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/
Basically, make sure the blankets are as minimally risky as possible, make sure everyone is sober, make sure baby is at chest height (NOT near your pillows), plug all gaps between bed and wall, etc, and ONLY do it on an actual bed (not a couch or chair). I’ve successfully bedshared with my son while travelling, although I’m really too light of a sleeper to do that routinely. When his reflux was untreated, he would sometimes nurse lying on his side for 3 hours more or less continuously, so I’m glad I knew how to make that situation less risky.
Pogo says
I remember a comment on here where this was discussed and it sounded like the safest thing was basically a mattress on the floor, no blankets?
Cornellian says
That might be the ultimately safe environment. The real risk apparently is not that a parent will lie on them, it’s that they will get lodged between the mattress and a pillow/wall/etc.
You’re only supposed to bedshare with breastfed babies because they naturally stay down at mom’s torso (away from the pillows) and mom’s body really is in tune with the baby in a way that is not true for dad/non-breastfeeding mom/etc.
Pogo says
Thanks – that makes sense.
Rainbow Hair says
I always recommend this, but when we found ourselves cosleeping, the “The First Years Safe & Secure CoSleeper” was a lifesaver for us. Kept her contained, on a hard surface where we couldn’t roll onto her, but close enough to our warm bodies that she would actually sleep.
bluefield says
This is a great story (and I’m impressed you made it 6 months before extinction CIO)
Edna Mazur says
Sabba- this was my first exactly. I was the same, adamantly against bed sharing, not going to happen. For a few weeks my husband and I could alternate, I would sleep 8-2am or so while he held the baby and woke me up only for feedings, and I would hold the baby from 2-9 or so and we were both in just rough, terrible shape.
When he had to go back to work I did exactly what you did, researched safe co-sleeping, set up that environment, and life got better for all of us. Some babies, just do not sleep independently and my first was completely incapable of sleeping on his own for a long time. It can’t have been safe to have both of us stumbling around that tired, and to be completely honest, we both are guilty of inadvertently falling asleep on the couch with the baby when it was our turn to be holding him, which is infinitely worse than the safer bed situation we have.
Nothing to add, but just a voice chiming in that this is totally a thing that happens and hospitals/doctors/etc. really aren’t much help.
Anon says
Yes same here. My first insisted on cosleeping until she was a year old, then poof, was ready for sleeping all night long (12+ hours!) without a peep in her crib. Any attempts to do anything else was a miserable failure and also led me to hallucinations from sleep deprivation.
My second, I knew better than to have a plan, but he still threw me for a loop. He wanted to co-sleep until 4 months. Then he wanted a bassinet in our room until about 10.5 months. Then poof, he slept 12+ hours in his sister’s twin bed (while she slept in the crib mattress on the floor in the room.) We bought a second twin bed and now they happily room share and stay quiet in their room from 8pm to 7am.
So yeah. Do your research, but you don’t get to determine how they sleep at all. It’s best to just protect your sanity and keep them safe and call that good enough.
FTMinFL says
So much this: “Do your research, but you don’t get to determine how they sleep at all. It’s best to just protect your sanity and keep them safe and call that good enough.”
I now look back on that co-sleeping period as such a sweet time. Nothing lasts forever with little people, so love them and yourself as well as you can in each moment. It’s amazing how well your instincts will serve you. Good luck!
AwayEmily says
We moved her to the nursery at two weeks. We originally intended to have her in our room for longer, but (1) she started sleeping for longer night stretches fairly early and (2) neither of us got ANY sleep while she was in the room. We did not have a monitor — small apartment; we could hear if she cried (well, I could hear. Like many husbands, mine sleeps through everything).
So, I’d say just wait and see how your particular baby shakes out. Maybe you’ll have one who eats every hour at night, in which case it might make more sense to have them in your room, or maybe you’ll have one who sleeps for longer stretches, in which case the nursery might be a better bet for everyone. Being open to lots of different options is great — that way you can make a game-time decision depending on her sleep habits and on how you feel about having her in the room once she’s actually in there making her little snuffly noises.
One other recommendation: we got amber nightlights (available on amazon) for our room and her nursery. Made it a little easier for both of us to get back to sleep. Also, you probably already know this, but we did not figure it out until several weeks in — you do not need to change her diaper every time she wakes up during the night. Only if she poops!
Pogo says
that nightlight is GENIUS.
bluefield says
You need to stop reading the AAP guidelines. They’re insane. This is a good test for parenthood: stop doing what people tell you to do, and do what you want to do and what works for you (with the exception of vaccination, which you should absolutely do). If you try to follow all the guidelines and recommendations, you are setting yourself up for anxiety and failure. If you want to room-share, room-share. If you don’t, don’t. There’s no “right” answer and it’s just what’s easiest for you.
I am very sensitive to noise and my newborn was a loud sleeper, so she went into her own room. For me, it was preferable to get up and go to her room to feed her than it was to listen to her snort and snuff all night while trying to sleep over her noise. But other people could have a different equation. My daughter slept in her own room, in a crib, since she was 4 days old. We had a monitor but we lived in a 900 sq ft apt and shared a wall with her, so even that seemed excessive. She’s 3.5 and hardly ever talks about how we abandoned her in her room when she was a newborn, so I think the trauma has mostly worn off :).
If you think you’ll be constantly anxious over whether your baby is still breathing, get the Snuza. IMO it’s a very unnecessary item.
Lilliet says
All three of my newborns slept in their crib as soon as they were home. That isn’t to say that we had figured out sleep training and it went perfectly. I just operated on the “begin with the end in mind” theory and every sleep would attempt the crib. If baby was having a tough go at it, we would problem solve from there.
So you do you. But, if you’re looking for anecdotal evidence that you’re not crazy for wanting your baby in its crib–you’re not crazy, you’re doing a great job.
Em says
My son slept in a RnP in our room until 3 months, then in a bassinet in our room until 6 1/2 months, at which point we moved him to his crib in the nursery. He started waking up in response to us moving around 6 months, which is why we made the move at that point.
Butter says
I had every intention of moving baby to his own room after 2 weeks. He ended up staying for 7 months before moving to his own room, and it worked well for all of us. I think this is one of those things you just figure out when the little person has arrived and ultimately, you do you.
H says
We evicted our LO to his own room when he was about 10 weeks old. By then, he was sleeping around 5-6 hours per night. It worked for us.
Anon says
Baby was in our room maybe 2 weeks. Maybe we didn’t even make it that long. He was a light sleeper, and I am a light sleeper, and I always had to get up to nurse anyway (because once up, I had to pee). Moved him to his own room and our lives greatly improved, as did his sleep. His “own room” was an alcove like space next to our room, so he was easy to hear, even just rolling around; we didn’t need a monitor. Our current house doesn’t have that kind of space so we don’t know what to do about #2.
SC says
This was before the 12-month recommendation came out, but LO slept in our room until he was about 4 months old. He was a premie though, so it was more like the equivalent of 3 months.
We had to wake LO up to eat every 3 hours (he wouldn’t wake up on his own, and he wasn’t gaining weight as fast as he should have–common for premies), so sleeping in our room was easier than getting up, going to another room, and waking a sleeping baby (still s*cked).
As soon as the pediatrician gave LO the “all clear” to sleep through the night (or as long as he’d sleep without us waking him up), we moved him to his own room.
Silver lining from the complicated pregnancy, premature birth, and a few months of having to wake up the baby was that LO didn’t need any sleep training. The first night, we braced ourselves for a big CIO, and LO fell asleep within 10 minutes and slept through the night. Two years later, he’s still a good sleeper. I promise it’s nothing we did, and I don’t give advice to other parents about sleeping. Do what works for you.
Baby Sleeping in Same Room? says
Thanks for all the advice/perspective – we will likely play it by ear. And thank you for confirming I am not crazy.
AnonMom says
Hey OP. The Snuza may be great, but I loved the Owlet. I think it probably does a better job at staying on and not giving false alarm b/c its fallen off, but again, I never actually used the Snuza, so maybe I’m wrong.
Anonymous says
first baby- went immediately to sleeping in the nursery. Our bedroom was very close, and we also had a monitor. Our rooms were small and this worked great.
second baby- first 6 weeks or so in our room, then into the nursery. Mainly this was because we had an older sibling and we wanted to minimize disruption as we’ve since moved and the master is a bit farther from the nursery than with #1.
Anonymous says
Also need sleep advice: DD has slept in the rock n play next to our bed since about 1 week. She was a crazy grunted and we weren’t getting any sleep with her in the bassinet. Now she’s 12 weeks and I want to transition her into the crib (like, tonight) because a) I think she’s getting a flat spot on the back of her head from the Rock n Play and b) she has to sleep in a crib at daycare which she is starting soon. Any advice? I’m going to sleep in her room tonight and I’m just mentally preparing myself to be up all night.
Cornellian says
I sent my son to daycare at 17 weeks, when he still had pretty bad sleep habits (we were 95% of the time nursing him or rocking him to sleep), and he apparently had zero problems adapting to naps at daycare. I think maybe all the stimulation tired him out?
At 18 weeks we started sleep training to have him fall asleep on his own after nursing at night. We saw results pretty much immediately, I think in part because he was already learning the skill at daycare. The first night we put him down, let him cry for five minutes, then my husband went in and talked to him/patted him for six minutes, and he was out. Have you considered doing it in two steps? Now my son falls asleep on his own, but still in our room. At some later point, we’ll work on having him fall asleep in his own room.
Anonymous says
OP here – yeh I’m hoping she just magically adjusts because of daycare? Everyone tells me that daycare tires them out. I just need to let go and trust that her daycare provider knows what she is doing (which, she does). As a FTM I feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants and just making random guesses and attempts of how to raise a baby. But to be fair to myself, I have a healthy and happy baby so I can’t be doing too bad right?
Cornellian says
Yeah, I also am definitely flying by the seat of my pants.
I do think the more places you can get your kid to sleep before they go to daycare, the better. My kid had napped on/in the couch (with supervision), his swing (with supervision), his bassinet, the ergo, our baby box, etc. I think that may have helped him adapt.
NewMomAnon says
I’m the wrong source for any kind of infant sleep advice, but fwiw: you could first move the RNP to the nursery, let her do that for a few nights with a white noise machine, and then shift her to the crib once she’s used to being in the new room.
Caveat: I tried this with my kiddo at about 4 months. Didn’t work. I ended up doing a mix of crib sleeping, co-sleeping, and not sleeping for the rest of her first year until I did CIO. So many grains of salt.
Knope says
I would not have a baby sleep alone in another room in a RnP, particularly with a white noise machine. It’s already not a recommended overnight sleep surface because of the SIDS risk, although I recognize some babies need that incline to sleep. You’re increasing that risk though by making it hard to hear the baby in another room with white noise.
mascot says
Give yourself permission to not worry about prepping 100% for daycare. My kid slept nights in his crib and napped in the swing at home when I was on leave. I was worried about getting him napping in his crib for daycare, but realized that daycare is a wholly different envrionment that I couldn’t replicate at home so I just let them handle it. He adapted fine to crib for naps during the week and swing or crib for naps at home.
Momata says
I did this with both my kids and it seemed to help. I put a folded towel under one side of the crib so the mattress was slightly inclined to mimic the RNP. I also rolled a towel into a long tube and put it under the sheet in an arch shape, big enough so that kid’s face wouldnt come close to the towel tube but small enough to make the crib smaller like the RNP. And for the first couple nights I put the removable sheepskin-like- cloth of the RNP on top of the sheet so it felt the same. I realize the towel tube and padding broke the “no other stuff in the crib ever” rule.
NOVA Anon says
We did something similar to this when transitioning from RNP, but with the mattress itself – we moved the bottom half down to a slightly lower setting for a few weeks until he adjusted. Our transition was recommended by our pediatrician b/c of the flat head issue. To transact the latter, we did physical therapy (which he was already doing for other reasons – preemie), put him down in the crib so the interesting side of the room was the side we wanted his head to face, and also would physically turn his head to face the other way after he was asleep.
Em says
On the first issue, crib vs. rock n play likely won’t make any significant difference with a flat spot. My son ended up in a helmet due to torticollis, so I stressed a lot about this, only to be told my the physical therapist that it would not have made any difference. On the second issue, I also stressed about training my son to sleep in a crib before he went to daycare. Everyone on here told me not to worry about it because the daycare would figure it out, and they did. I spent a few horrible days unsuccessfully trying to get him to sleep in a crib at home and the first day at daycare he napped in a crib for 2 hours. Coming from someone who stressed insane amounts about both of these issues, try not to stress about either one because it sounds like you are fine with what you are currently doing.
Anonymous says
Thank you!! She had a bit of torticollis at her 8 week check up (that I brought up and the pediatrician said “hm, oh yeh”). With some increased tummy time and stretches that has seemed to resolve itself. I literally couldn’t sleep last night because I was stressing about this. I should take my husbands attitude of “if she needs a helmet it’s not the end of the world”.
Anon says
My son had a flat spot by his one month ped checkup (!) — so much so that we were sent to see a neurosurgeon to make sure his bones were fusing normally. The neurosurgeon actually advised us to nap baby on his stomach (with us nearby). So we did…and soon after we started sleeping him on his stomach at night (against all the AAP guidelines, yes). I had read really mixed studies on whether helmets actually work, so I wanted to avoid if at all possible. It did the trick.
Em says
With torticollis they will sleep in the same position regardless of what they are in (floor, Rnp, crib, etc.) which is why the therapist told us it didn’t matter. Without torticollis, they should naturally move their head enough that it will even out regardless if they are in a Rnp or a crib. If the flat spot doesn’t seem to be improving by 4 months, insist on physical therapy. Our first pediatrician refused to give us a referral and we ended up switching to a new pediatrician to get one. The therapist later told us if we hadn’t have gotten him into PT he would have had delays crawling and walking. If we had gotten him into PT before 6 months we probably could have avoided the helmet, but because the first pediatrician misdiagnosed it and the soonest PT appointment was a month out, we got in too late to reverse the flat spot.
GCA says
For all the worries about sleep – my son used to be a terrible sleeper. Sometimes he’d be up for 2 hours in the middle of the night. A normal night was 3 or 4 wakeups. A good night was 2. He didn’t sleep through the night until 21 months, well after we weaned. All sleep training attempts, gentle or CIO, failed completely. For almost 2 years I went around in a sleep-deprived, rage-filled haze, resentful of the world and the people whose babies just slept right through the night from 2 months or whatever. And then – it was like a switch flipped. He sleeps, now, at age 2. He naps for 2 or 3 hours at daycare. He conks out at 8 and wakes up for a sip of water at midnight and sleeps right through to 5.30 or 6. I wonder if it’s really, truly a developmental milestone that they just have to reach.
JTX says
+1
Same for my second child. He was a terrible sleeper until 20 or 21 months. Now, at 23 months, he sleeps through the night unless he is teething or sick. Something just clicked one day. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to stop obsessing over it. I think my husband and I were just spinning our wheels and making it worse for ourselves.
Anonymous says
echoing this. My first was a dream w/r/t sleep. my second didn’t sleep through the night until 10 months, and even then, it was 7-5am, wake up, back to sleep 5:30-7. Second didn’t nap regularly until 10 months either, and at that point the switch flipped (I think the switch was walking) and she napped 9:30-11 and 3-4:30 religiously. we assume the sheer physical exhaustion of walking + self soothing + my refusal to get up and comfort more than 1x pushed things over the edge.
Katie says
Another mother of a bad sleeper here. Mine has gradually gotten better but still no switch flipping (he’s 18 months). One thing I constantly have to remind myself is not to judge his sleep against the impossible standards of my friends with unicorn babies and toddlers that sleep 7-7 or whatever. That’s great, but it’s so not all kids. If your toddler sleeps 10 hours straight at night (so, 8-6), that’s wonderful and you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel bad for it.
Now I just need to get him to do that reliably!
Rainbow Hair says
The time has come — what is your best “no hitting” book recommendation?
Because Kiddo is “using her hands in a rough way” at school and freaking whacking my elbow with her sippy at home. She’s 2.
Anonymous says
We read the classic “Hands are not for hitting.” It may be coincidence, but I think DS’ hitting has gotten much better since we got it (caveat that he hits more for reactions, not because he’s mad or wants something). When he does hit, we stop whatever we were saying and say “Hands are not for hitting, remember? What are hands for?” and we recite all the things hands ARE for from the book. With hand motions.
Rainbow Hair says
Aaah, interesting. There’s definitely an element of her hitting to get a big reaction, so I don’t know how to balance modeling “I will not let you hurt my body” without being like “oooh lookit the big rise you got out of me” … but maybe consistent redirection will take the fun out of it.
Anonymous says
11:37 here. My kid is a bit younger than yours, FWIW (18 months). At this point, I’m OK with more redirecting. We tried the putting down and ignoring, and it really upset him- he usually started crying as soon as he was put down. It’s much nicer for us to redirect to pretending to brush our teeth, wave, and play itsy bits spider.
PregLawyer says
Hitting started for us at about 20 months. He doesn’t hit other kids – only his parents when he’s mad at us. We read “Hands are Not for Hitting” and we started timeouts for 90 seconds every time he hit. We just put him in his crib and walk away. Four months later the hitting has not fully stopped–he still definitely hits when he wants us to know he’s mad at us–but he fully understands that he’s not supposed to hit.
dc anon says
More sleep questions – Kiddo is almost 3 and #2 is on the way. They will need to share a room. When can baby be moved into kiddo’s room? How do you sleep train/CIO with a shared room? Also, kiddo is really intent on getting a bunk bed, at what age can a kid sleep in a bunk bed? She’s in a crib still and Ive kind of been hoping for a lofted crib solution, but i haven’t seen anything like that.
JTX says
I would just wait and see – it’s impossible to plan in advance. My kids share a room, but #2 could not sleep independently and slept in our room until he was 14 months or so. At 14 months, we moved the baby into the nursery even though he didn’t seem ready, because we were about to lose our minds from sleep deprivation. Our pediatrician’s advice was to sleep train the baby in the nursery while the toddler slept in another room. That wasn’t a great option for us because #1 was very, very particular and attached to his bed/nighttime routine. So we tried to sleep train the baby in our room, and then in the nursery (before #1 went to sleep, and then throughout the night while #1 slept). We were very surprised how much noise the older one could sleep through.
I believe I read that the earliest a child should sleep in a bunk bed is 6. We were hoping to do a bunk bed setup, but it turns out our #2 is quite the daredevil and we don’t think we could prevent him from climbing the ladder. I really think you’ll have to wait and see what the sleeping habits and temperaments of both your kids are around the time you want to move them in together.
Or, maybe you’ll end up with a champion sleeper who can be moved into the nursery at 3 months. There is no way to know in advance.
mascot says
I’d agree that 5-6 is probably the right age for bunk bed. We did one on vacation for my 6 year old and he did fine. He only gets up to use the bathroom once at night and could navigate the ladder pretty well.
Side note, we were watching Tiny House Hunters the other night and these buyers were insistent that their 1 and 2 year olds would be fine sleeping alone in a loft that was accesible only by rungs nailed to the wall. My husband and I both gave a side eye to that. Have fun potty training!
Anon says
I hate-watch Tiny House Hunters purely for the people who do it with young kids. They all insist it’ll work out for the kids to sleep in a pack n play in the living room of an open loft house. Like, have you ever been trapped in a hotel room with a kid before? Lights out at 7pm is fun for NO ONE. And the people who have babies, one chair, a composting toilet, and vertical rungs to a loft bed – good luck potty training!
I’m convinced no one on that show is buying a true house, it’s all either an AirBnB type room to rent out or a vacation house or a “carriage house” they’re going to put on their parent’s property so they have a separate room to sleep in. Or of course, the idiots who buy an RV or bus and pretend it’s actually a house they’re going to live in forever.
Anon says
We got bunk beds when I was 9 and my sisters were 5 and 3. The younger two shared the full on the bottom bunk and I got the top twin bunk. That lasted until I was 16 or so at which point I got my own room.
My only advice is watch ceiling fan placement – and how the upper bunk rail is attached. It was a smallish room, and if the fan was on, it was very easy to stick your head, arm, etc. in it while getting in/out of bed or leaning over the top rail to talk to someone below. No permanent damage as far as I know, but it sure hurt a lot. On the rail, the beds were designed to be detachable (and now one is in my parents’ house and the other in my sister’s apartment), and the metal brackets weakened after 10+ years of use (abuse) so that a kid’s bodyweight on the rail could cause it to bend/fall off (which may have resulted in some falls – again, no permanent damage as far as we can tell).
In House Lobbyist says
We moved #2 into big brother’s room about 11 months old when she was soundly sleeping through the night. They can both tolerate an amazing amount of noise from each other. When she did cry, her older brother rarely heard her and he gets a terrible cough every time he gets sick and she sleeps right through it. Big brother moved to a bunk bed (bottom bunk) at 5 and baby sister moved to the top bunk at 2.5. A little scary but she has been great about not getting out of bed and is amazingly more coordinated that her older brother. Potty training her was an absolute breeze and she can hold it all night so we don’t worry about her getting up in the middle of the night. My son loves the bottom bunk because it is a full size that makes a futon – currently he is using it like a couch and thinks it is awesome. The best thing is when you hear them in the mornings laying in the same bed being all sweet to each other.
Blueberry says
1) I don’t think you can do CIO or any sleep training that involves crying for more than a few minutes in a shared room. When the time comes, maybe just have kid #1 share your room during the adjustment phase.
2) I don’t think a 3-yo would be ready for a bunk bed. Our kids will eventually get bunk beds, but I don’t see it happening any time soon, as my 4.5-year-old would still fall out of his bed if he didn’t have a rail up… Plus if you get an elevated bed of any kind, you’ll have to worry about kid #2 trying to climb up the ladder when he/she reaches toddlerhood.
anon says
The IKEA Kura loft is kind of what you describe, but I don’t think you could fit the baby’s bed under it. It would be a nice space to play though.
CHL says
This is making me laugh because I had all sorts of Pinterest inspired ideas about getting a bunk bed and putting the crib under it and after my husband spent approximately 32 hours painting and assembling an Ikea bunkbed, the crib didn’t fit and it was like a baby cave, so we now have a room with a bunkbed with a mattress only on the bottom bunk and a Toddlelock to keep both of them from climbing to the top, plus a crib converted to a toddler bed in the same room. And it’s crowded but it’s been fine and when they get to be 3 and 5 this fall, we’ll buy a mattress for the top bunk and move them over.
Rainbow Hair says
I am full of questions today. Did any of you or your partners have concerns with babysitters putting your kid to bed? Basically my kid has only been babysat by family (she’s two now) except for occasional daytime sitting from a neighbor. But I would really like to have the neighbor babysit kid through bedtime, so H and I can go out for a reasonable dinner.
H is convinced having babysitter put kiddo to bed will go terribly. I am not sure that will happen, but I also think that, worst case scenario, she doesn’t sleep. Like what terrible thing will result?
Any advice or insights? Any thoughts on how to convince my husband to see it my way?
EB0220 says
When my first was a baby, I didn’t think babysitters could put her to bed because I always nursed her to sleep. Older kids have simpler bedtime routines, though, and I’ve never had a problem with babysitters getting them to bed. It’s not always done the way I’d do it, or at the exact correct time, but it’s been fine. Put it this way: what’s the worst that could happen? You try it once, have a cranky kid the next day, and revise your plan?
anon says
+1. It somehow works out. The only thing we didn’t have the babysitter handle was baths. We either had kid bathed and dressed for bed before they got there or just skipped a bath that night.
H says
My 2.5 year old actually goes to bed better with a baby sitter, family for otherwise, than with us. But yes, the worst that can happen is kiddo doesn’t sleep and will be fussy (but maybe she’ll be happy and just want to play) for the sitter. If kiddo is that bad, tip the sitter and you’ll know for next time.
AIMS says
So we don’t have a regular babysitter but have had no problem with others putting our little one to bed. I wouldn’t think twice about it with a paid person.
Also: I used to babysit a lot when I was a teen and I routinely put two year olds to bed. Generally parents of the kids I babysat fell into two groups – here’s the routine, please follow it and kid can stay up as late as he/she wants. Usually the latter was for 3+ as a special treat for them and they’d inevitably fall asleep on the couch watching a movie and I’d move them to their bed and watch TV.
Sabba says
This probably varies by kid, but I think this is where you are happy to have a good routine with basic steps that anyone can do. We’ve had a routine since 3 months, although it has obviously evolved since then. Right now, it is bath, brush teeth, pajamas, book, say goodnight to distant family members and family pets, moment of gratitude (say one thing we are thankful for), reflection on kindness (say one nice thing we did for someone else that day), three songs, hug and kiss, lights out. Anyone can do the routine and there is no doubt about what is happening–my kid knows it is time to sleep when this sequence is over.
Rainbow Hair says
Thanks guys.
One thing that makes me optimistic is that we have such a solid routine for winding down once jammies are on: turn on the humidifier, sing lullabies on the sofa, put ‘friends’ to be in their little crib (includes giving them long hugs and kisses, adorable), go in crib, mommy pats and sings one song, then she’s alone in her crib and does whatever (not fussing) until she falls asleep.
I texted the sitter so hopefully she’s free and we can give this a whirl!!!
Anonymous says
What? No. Try it, it will probably be fine. I trust my babysitters to do bath and bedtime if necessary. Kids change their expectations based on who is available. Enjoy your date!
Toddler hitting herself says
Our 5 year old has started hitting/punching herself when she is frustrated. What are some ways to redirect this frustration- I just don’t know what to do.
Anonymous says
Is she too old for Daniel Tiger? No personal experience with this but Daniel Tiger would say “stomp three time to make yourself feel better.” Seems weird to me but I guess it’s an alternative to hitting yourself or someone else? Also there is an episode about feeling frustrated – “take a step back and ask for help.” (Can you tell I watch a lot of Daniel?)